Lost Together
by laurieanne
Summary: Robin and Patrick fight their attraction to each other but when they finally give in, will it be enough?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

_"What is wrong with you? You can't break up with me – remember, we're not together" Robin joked._

"So you accused me of being jealous" Patrick was indignant

"Oh come on. I was teasing, calm down." Robin couldn't quite believe the way Patrick was reacting.

"You're setting rules for, you're telling me how treat my father and now you're flirting with Nikolas in front of me. I don't want to deal with it."

"Okay wait, wait, wait. Try and grasp the concept that my conversation with Nikolas had nothing to do with you."

"Look, Robin. I don't want to argue. You're nice. You're a great doctor, we had a good time but it's going to a place I don't want it to go, so I'm out. As of now."

"If you don't want a commitment then why do you keep going on..

"Is this the Foster case?" he asked taking the file from the nurse.

"Yes doctor."

"And you accuse me of hiding in my work."

"This patient may be a good candidate for your drug therapy."

Robin scoffed. "I have a diagnosis for you Dr. Drake. You know those foreign sensations that you're having? They're called feelings or emotions. Now I know you don't want to admit it but I will. There's something going on between us that's more than sex."

"Speak for yourself."

"You're starting to have feelings for me, so that's why you're freaking out."

"I'm trying to end this cleanly and nicely so nobody gets hurt."

"In other words you're running away because things are starting to get messy."

"Are you going to take this patient or should I call someone else for a consult."

"Oh god. I can't believe I actually thought you could be a decent guy…"

"Robin skip the lectures okay, I have done nothing but been honest with you. Now I am not looking for an emotional … bond."

"It's kind of funny in a way. For all of your lectures about how I live my small life, you're the one that turned out to be the coward" she said, grabbing the file from his hand. "Congratulations, you got what you wanted – we're done."

Patrick exhaled as the conversation replayed in his mind. He hadn't planned on ending things with Robin, and not in that way but alarm bells were going off in his head and he needed to get as far away from her as possible. As he looked over the city lights from the roof of the hospital, he wondered how he had wound up here.

However it had happened it started with Robin Scorpio. She had come into his life, breathing fire and had been keeping him on his toes ever since. He had pursued her relentlessly for months. She was the first person he had met who resisted him for longer than five minutes and that intrigued him. In the process of chasing her he had allowed her to take up space in his head and in his life. He never asked her to but she stood by him, unflinchingly, as his father's liver disease deteriorated and Patrick became a living donor. She held his hand as he struggled with his tangled feelings about his father's impending death. And she put her medical license on the line by forging a signature on a consent form to save his father's life. She wouldn't walk away when he gave her a million reasons to and that too, was new for him.

He knew that he had surprised her as well. It was clear to him from the beginning that she was a gorgeous, intelligent woman who had not been treated like one in quite some time. At first, he chalked it up to the stereotype - being a socially inept, shy researcher. But as he chipped away at her substantial walls, he discovered that she was neither shy nor socially inept. In fact it seemed like most of Port Charles loved her. He had find out, quite by accident that she was HIV and that made the picture much clearer to him. They first time they spoke after he had found out, she pushed him away as hard and as quickly as she could. He saw the expectation in her eyes – that he would reject her, shun her or patronize her. But rather than sending him running away his fascination with her only increased.

Eventually they gave into the attraction that had been bubbling for months just under the surface. And that was the moment that everything changed for him. He had, on occasion, felt drawn to a woman but the feeling generally passed within days of sleeping with her. The first time they slept together, there was a split second where realization dawned that this was unlike anything else he had ever experienced. It was different with Robin – and that scared him. Despite his attempts to continue with his normal bravado and swagger they were becoming more like a real couple every day. He found himself missing her when she wasn't around and wanting all her attention when she was. She pushed him and challenged him to be better personally and professionally. He tested his resolve regularly, even going so far as to attempt revenge sex with the person she hated most in the world but couldn't bring himself to go through with it. And that was how he wound up at General Hospital, calling it quits with her.

Furious that he needed her, he had arrived at the hospital with a head full of steam. Getting off the elevator he saw her hugging Nikolas Cassidine. Rationally he knew there was nothing going on but he felt jealous nonetheless. He had never experienced jealousy before and it made him weak. Resenting the power she had over him, he quietly exploded at her and broke things off. He believed they would both be better off for it in the long run and he had but one regret. There was a flash of pain in her eyes right before she walked away. It haunted him.

Robin walked along the docks, tears overflowing in her eyes. She was at a loss at how it had gone so wrong, so quickly. She had started the day by attending the funeral of an old friend, Justus Ward, who had been brutally murdered. Patrick had surprised her by offering to accompany her. He held her hand and even hugged her as some long buried memories made themselves known during the funeral. She had been very grateful for his support and told him so. It seemed every time she turned around, there he was. Supporting her, teasing her, pushing her to come out from behind her walls. She had never known anyone like him in her life. She could barely admit it to herself but she was falling in love with him. She knew it was a mistake to go down that road. Patrick was a player and had made no secret of his desire to be free of attachment. Yet the more they talked about no strings, the more they seemed to be tangled up.

She had suspected for quite a while that he was developing feelings for her but developing feelings and pursuing them are two very different things. Theirs had been a rocky path and showed no signs of smoothing out. He had impressed her on several occasions, the way he confidently imposed himself as a living liver donor for his father, his inspiring skills in the OR and the way he hadn't disappeared the minute he found out she was HIV . That was most definitely not a reaction she was used to. Her best friend Brenda had always told her that some day a man would come along who wouldn't be put off by her disease. And Brenda was, as she often was, right. It was just unfortunate that the man in question was repulsed by commitment. Robin trudged to her apartment. She was alone again. No matter how many times it happened, it just never got easier.

She barely remembered getting into bed before her alarm went off. Every day started the same to the point that she was sure she could do it with her eyes closed. In fact she may have on several occasions. Taking her pill case out of the cupboard, she counted out her morning meds and poured herself a glass of orange juice. Every day, four times a day she had a tangible reminder that a virus had taken up residence in her blood - not that it was something she would ever be able to forget.

It had been over 10 years since she was diagnosed with HIV and she knew she was one of the lucky ones. An undetectable viral load and relatively high t-cell count made her virtually asymptomatic but each day was fraught with its own challenges. It was a struggle to avoid colds and flus during the winter. What might be just a minor annoyance for most could land her in the hospital. She needed to take extra precautions at work along with ensuring she didn't get overtired, she also needed to watch her diet and exercise to keep her strength up. She felt like a poster child for clean living and there were days that she hated it.

Walking to the hospital, Robin dreaded that every step took her closer to the scene of the previous night's humiliation. She and Patrick had the same schedule for the next two weeks and were sharing several cases. Avoiding him was going to be next to impossible. As she stopped for coffee at Kelly's, she resolved to stay professional and detached from him. She would not engage him in any conversation that was not work related. Standing at the front doors, she blew out her cheeks and pushed the door open.

The locker room was empty when she got there and she was grateful for the solitude. Opening her locker door, a photo fell to the ground. Picking it up, she realized it was one of her and Patrick dancing at the Bachelor Auction held the month before. As was their habit, they had found their way to each other and wound up spending the evening dancing. That was, until Sam McCall was shot and her boyfriend Jason Morgan came running into the room with her bleeding in his arms. Robin fingered the picture. The feelings it evoked weren't related to dancing together but rather what happened later, much later when they had both come to the hospital with Sam. Robin had sought refuge on the roof and Patrick had gone looking for her. He had found her overflowing with memories and feelings of too much time spent around violence. She had been weak in front of him and instead of walking away or taking advantage he simply wrapped his arms around her and made her feel safe. That memory brought tears to her eyes. Robin wiped at them furiously as the door to the locker room opened.

"Hey Rob" Elizabeth called to her.

"Hey Liz" she said turning her back so her friend couldn't see that she was upset.

"Did you have a good night?"  
"Yeah, sure it was okay. I worked – you know."

Elizabeth poked her head around her locker door. It was evident that she was upset. "Robin? Are you okay?"

"Yup. Fine" she said, refusing to look at her.

Elizabeth walked over to her and gently pulling on her arm, turned her around. "Robin – what's the matter?"

She shook her head. "Nothing."

"Is it Patrick?"

"That obvious eh?" she said smiling through her tears.

"What happened sweetie?"

"We broke up last night. I mean at least I think we did. How can you break up if you aren't really together?"

"What do you mean not really together? Everyone could see you were together."

"Everyone but Patrick." Robin said, wiping at the last of her tears as she willed herself not to cry.

Elizabeth took her hand. "Oh Robin. No man is worth your tears. And the one who is won't make you cry"

Robin gave her a watery smile. "Thanks Liz."

"Wanna grab a coffee later?"

"That would be great. I better get going before Epiphany busts my chops for being late." Robin gave one last look at her face in the mirror and deciding there was no real damage done, slung her stethoscope around her neck and headed out to meet the day.

She saw Patrick's back as she approached the Nurses Station. Walking around she entered the podium on the far side away from him. She pulled out her charts for review and stared intently at them.

Patrick looked up from his file and saw Robin. His first instinct was to call out to her until he reminded himself that he had ended things between them. Seeing her face from the side, it was obvious she had been crying. The stabbing pain in his heart convinced him he had got out just in time. There was no room in his life for feelings like that. He didn't know how to handle them and would only hurt her in the end. She was better off without him.

"Robin Scorpio? Dr. Robin Scorpio?"

Robin looked up from her charts and blinked several times. "Bruce?" she said surprised. "Oh my god, Bruce" she ran off the podium towards him. He gave her an enormous hug and kissed her on both cheeks.

"I didn't know you had left France" he said. Bruce Harris was dressed in an expensive grey suit with a blue shirt and blue tie. There was no detail left undone with him, from his silver cuff links to his polished Church shoes.

"I've been back about 8 months. What are you doing here?"

"Interviewing for a position with the hospital board. You look amazing."

Robin flattened her hair shyly. "Stop."

"It's true – I always thought you were the best looking woman at any party we were at."

"That's because I was one of the few talking to you" she teased.

"Nice – this is what I get after escorting you the Bastille Day ball"

"I so made it worth your while"

"Listen, I have to get to the interview – can we have dinner?"

"That would be great. How can I get a hold of you?"

He passed her a card. "Give me a call when you're done your shift" He leaned in and kissed both cheeks again. "It is so wonderful to see you."

"You too Bruce" she waved as he walked away.

Patrick watched the scene with interest. Not that he really cared but who the hell was this smarmy overdressed guy and what did he want with Robin?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Patrick couldn't help but stare as Robin smiled to herself as she returned to her charts.

"Take a picture it lasts longer" Liz hissed at him as she walked by him.

"What?" he asked, pulled from his thoughts.

Elizabeth just glared at him. "Hey Robs – ready for coffee?"

"Absolutely" she said turning to see Elizabeth behind her.

"Who was the hottie?"

"Pardon?"

"The guy in the expensive suit – wow" Liz raised her voice just enough for Patrick to hear.

"Oh Bruce? He's a friend from Paris. I haven't heard from him since I moved back but we had a lot of fun together" Robin stepped down from the podium and headed to the cafeteria with Elizabeth in tow.

Patrick hadn't realized how hard he was gripping his pen until the ink exploded on his hands.

"Damnit" he swore.

"Rough morning?"

"Dad" Patrick said as his father Noah approached.

"How's it going?"

"Just fine" he grumbled.

"Did you accidentally get decaf this morning?"

"I'm not in the mood. Do you need something?"

"Just trying to make conversation."

"Yeah ,well" he said picking up his charts. "Stop trying." He retreated to his office and shut the door. Things with his father were still rocky on a good day and he had no interest in trying for a family moment. His mind kept being pulled back to Robin. He wished he had an off switch – he didn't want to think about her. He needed a distraction and needed one soon. He considered calling Carly but in the end there was just too much baggage there. Not to mention he didn't particularly care for her ex-husband or her best friend – the local mob heavyweights. All he had to do was get through the shift, which was less than an hour old, and then he would be free to find a change of scenery.

Having completed his rounds, he returned his charts to the Nurses Station. Robin was there, chatting with Dr. Oliver, another neurologist on staff.

"Robin?"

Her back stiffened at the sound of his buttery voice. She wished he didn't affect her as much as he did but she would have to tough it out until she became immune to it. "Dr. Drake?" she turned to him.

"Have you finished the notes on the Stewart case?"

"I left them in your inbox" she said coldly.

"I'd like to review them with you."

"Why?"

Dr. Oliver sensing the rising tension opted to find safety away from the Nurses Station. The two young doctors had made quite a name for themselves with their verbal sparring and woe be the person who got caught in the crossfire.

"Because I'd like to make sure that I understand what you've written."

"Do big words scare you too?" she asked sarcastically. She instantly regretted it but there was no backing down – she was a Scorpio after all.

A smile flickered at the corner of his lips. "I got the big words covered thanks. I just don't always follow your analysis as it tends to be long winded at times."

Robin walked towards him. "Long winded? It's called thorough – evaluating all the facts and making a complete diagnosis. Maybe you'd like to try it some time?"

Patrick narrowed his eyes. "Are you calling my diagnostic skills into questions?"

"Are you questioning my analytical ability? Because the New England Journal of Medicine understood it well enough to publish a half dozen of my articles"

"Well you can practice medicine or you can write about it but it's hard to do both" he said sardonically.

Robin's mouth fell open. "Jackass"

"Truth hurt?" he asked petulantly.

"I'll tell you what's going to hurt" Epiphany Johnson interrupted "If I have to separate you two, you are not going to enjoy it. So smarten up and start acting like the professionals you are paid to be." Patrick and Robin exchanged dirty looks. "Don't you two have patients?"

They walked in opposite directions leaving Epiphany to shake her head. "Here we go again" she mumbled under her breath. 

Robin crossed Patrick's path several times during the rest of their shift. He made several attempts to engage Robin in conversation but she cut him dead each time. The only time he could get more than a one word answer from her is if it related to a patient. Even then she was still cold. He didn't know what he had expected when he ended the no strings relationship but he was pretty sure he hadn't counted on a deep freeze.

Patrick watched her at the Nurses Station at the end of shift as she was on the phone.

"Hi Bruce – it's Robin……..no, long day but I would love to see you……..how about 8?….where are you staying? ……Okay, I'll see you at the MetroCourt at 8……can't wait to see you"

Patrick's brow furrowed at the lightness in Robin's voice. For someone who was supposed to be hung up on him, she seemed far too excited to see this Bruce character.

"Adding eavesdropping to staring?" Elizabeth asked.

"Do you just materialize out of thin air?"

"If you're so interested in Robin why did you break up with her last night?"

Patrick turned his back to the Nurses Station and faced Elizabeth. "Because I can't give her what she wants."

"Do you figure if you say it enough times out loud it will be true?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing" she said in a sing song voice.

Well aware of Patrick's presence behind her, Robin walked to the locker room without a look back. Patrick watched her walk away before turning back to his charts. Liz clucked her tongue.

"Back off Liz."

"Suit yourself"

"I generally do"

"And that's worked brilliantly for you so far, hasn't it?" she asked walking away. 

Robin sighed on her walk home. The day had certainly taken some unexpected turns. She had been dreading seeing Patrick and he certainly hadn't done anything to make it easier. Of course he hadn't made anything easy from their first meeting so why would he start now? Bruce was a nice surprise for her. She had met Bruce at a cocktail party thrown by the hospital she was working at in Paris. He was the political attaché to the American Embassy in Paris and he proved to be the perfect date. Well mannered, well dressed and unfailingly polite they had spent many a great evening together on the diplomatic party circuit. Bruce had a girlfriend back in Manhattan who would come out on occasion for a visit but otherwise Robin was his defacto date – and he hers. She never had to face another hospital function without the dashing foreign service officer on her arm.

He had introduced her to his circle of friends and they spent a number of Sunday afternoons stuffing their faces with cheese and baguette in the cafes of the Left Bank. Bruce had been recalled from Paris to work as a political advisor to a Senator and the last she had seen him was at his farewell party in the bar of the Georges V hotel.

She changed into a red halter dress and gold shoes. Grabbing her purse she left to meet Bruce. She was unable to keep the smile from her face as she bounced towards him.

"Hi!" she said enthusiastically.

"Gorgeous girl" he said kissing her hand. He pulled out her chair for her as she sat down. Bruce sat down across from her. "I took the liberty of ordering some wine for us – you still like the Chateau Neuf du Pape right?"

"Good memory" Robin grinned. "I'm so happy to see you."

Bruce had changed into a black dress shirt and black pants that set off his blonde hair and blue eyes nicely. "And I you. How have you been?"

"Pretty good – you know – busy, busy, busy" she said taking a sip of her wine.

"Ah – working to avoid life again?"

"Not at all" she said somewhat untruthfully "I have a new position and I need to prove myself to secure my tenure."

Bruce opted not to pursue it further. He knew Robin's patterns and when things got tough, she got to work. "And your health?"

"It's great. Had a small setback during the winter but I'm back on track so it's all good."

"Glad to hear it."

"So what brings you to Port Charles?"

"Well" he said swirling his wine around. "I was here for an interview with the board."

"So you said, but why?"

Bruce grinned. "Because I'm doing it – I'm going to run for Congress."

Robin squealed. "NO.WAY! Oh Bruce! I am so pleased for you."

Unseen by the old friends, was a certain young neurosurgeon and his date for the evening. Patrick's head had shot up at the sound of Robin's squeal. He narrowed his eyes as he looked over at their table. Robin was smiling and laughing with an ease that he had thought only he could bring out..

"….so I said there was no way I would let him cash out that stock, I mean honestly – selling Google stock? What was he thinking?"

Patrick looked at his date and smiled. Candice was an investment banker that he had met several months ago. Based out of Manhattan, she always called when she was passing through and Patrick liked spending time with her – preferably in his room.

"And how is Marian – did you finally propose?" Robin asked.

Bruce shifted uncomfortably. "Actually Marian and I called it quits several months ago."

"Oh Bruce I'm sorry – I thought you guys were solid."

"So did I but she made it clear the political life is not for her."

Robin gave his hand a squeeze. "Are you seeing anyone?"

He shook his head. "You?"

Robin smiled ruefully. "Not anymore."

Bruce grinned. "Maybe this trip will be more beneficial than I imagined."

Patrick had difficulty pulling his eyes from Robin's table. Luckily for him Candice liked to talk about herself so much that she wouldn't notice if he left the table. He stiffened as he watched Bruce escort Robin from the restaurant at the end of their meal. She couldn't possibly be moving on, could she?

Robin had so overwhelmed his thoughts that he was forced to offer Candice a rain check. Shockingly, frighteningly, Patrick was not in the mood for sex. By the time he got to work in the morning, his mood had gone from bad to worse.

Robin saw him get off the elevator and knew immediately he was in bad humour. His normally soft, playful eyes were dark and his jaw was locked in a tight line. Robin nearly flinched when he looked at her.

"Epiphany could you ask Dr. Scorpio if she could return the Harder file that she's been holding on to for three days now?"

Epiphany looked up and fixed Patrick with a warning look.

"Epiphany could you please inform Dr. Drake that the file is on his desk where it has been for the last two days. He would know this if he and his ego could both fit through the door."

"Epiphany please tell Dr. Scorpio…"

"Oh hell no" she said, raising her voice. "You two are not starting this up again. Do I look like the UN to you?" They both snapped their heads up at her tone. "Either figure out how to work together or I will sort it out for you." She stomped away grumbling about how stupid people with that much education could be.

"Happy now?" Robin shot at Patrick.

"I don't know, if I say no will I get a lecture?"

Robin yelled in exasperation. "You are impossible!"

"Takes one to know one."

"What is your problem?"

"Can we talk about the other night?" he said trying to defuse the situation.

Robin narrowed her eyes. "I think you said quite enough then, don't you?"

"So what? You're just going to cut me out?"

"Why not? Can't take your own medicine?" she hissed.

"I'd like to think we can be friends."

"Why? Fix your guilty conscience"

"What the hell do I have to feel guilty about?"

"Oh I don't know – for being a jerk?"

"You're calling me a jerk? You go from flirting with Nikolas to some random guy in the hospital."

"For Christ's sake how many times do I have to tell you I wasn't flirting with Nikolas and that wasn't some random guy – he's an old friend of mine."

"Whatever" he said dismissively.

"Oh my god – are you jealous?"

"Should I be?"

"You broke it off with me, remember?"

Patrick was about to reply when he felt a hand close tightly around his arm. Robin's eyes widened in surprise as she felt the same thing.

"I have told you two that I will NOT have this kind of behaviour on my floor. You may be doctor's" Epiphany said pulling them along the hall "but this is my floor."

Epiphany kicked open the door to the linen closet and pushed them in. "You two will stay in here until you can figure out how to talk to each other without inciting a war."

"Epiphany we have patients…" Robin started.

"Not right now – right now you WILL be working on establishing a cordial, professional relationship. I'll be back for you in an hour and either this will sorted or your families can claim you from the morgue but when I come back it will be over." She pulled the door shut.

They both stared at her in shock. Patrick turned to Robin. "Troublemaker"

"Me? You started it."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Now what?" Patrick asked sitting on a laundry cart.

Robin jiggled the handle. "Damn" she said under her breath. Epiphany had locked it from the outside. "I don't know" she said turning to face him. "I guess we just spend the next hour ignoring each other."

"Is that what you want?"

"Is it what you want?"

"I asked first."

Robin sat on the cart opposite him. "What are you? Five?"

"Do you want to pretend like we aren't friends?"

"Are we friends?"

Patrick ran his hands over his face. "Are you going to keep answering every question with a question?"

"Are you?"

"Jesus Robin you are the single most irritating person I know."

"And you're a blow hard so bite me."

They glared at each for several minutes before Robin finally broke the silence. "Fine. I don't think we're friends" she said crossing her arms across her chest.

Patrick was surprised. "Why not?"

"Because friends respect each other and you've made it clear that you don't respect me" she said fixing him with a steely look.

"Since when have I shown you any disrespect?"

"Are you seriously looking for examples?"

"Name three."

"Fine – making me apologize in front of Carly, forgetting to tell me that Gwen was coming over as I was trying to …you know…"

"Jump my bones?" he offered helpfully.

"Whatever and then breaking up with me in the middle of the hospital."  
"I should have known that you would continue to hold Gwen and Carly against me."

Robin twisted her hair around, forming a knot at the base of her neck. "I don't hold them against you but it doesn't mean that I forgot about it. Actually I think you get some kind of kick out of humiliating me."

Patrick felt like he had been punched in the stomach. "I don't even know how you could think that, let alone say it" he said quietly. "I was trying to end things between us before they got too complicated – so that we could stay friends."

"And yelling at me in the middle of the hospital seemed like a good way to cement our friendship?"

"Robin, I can't give you what you want."

"And what do I supposedly want?"

"A relationship, the long haul – commitment."

"Did I ever, once, ask you for that?" she said evenly.

"Does that mean you don't want it?"

"Now who's answering a question with a question? Did I ever ask for it?"

Patrick shook his head. "No. But I know you Robin, I know that a relationship is important to you."

Robin looked at him, studying his face. It was evident he was earnest in his desire to protect her from himself. The only problem was that she hadn't asked him for his protection. "Sure, I'll admit it, I'd like a relationship but I'd like it with someone who is capable of it. How dense do you think I am? I know you can't give that to me but that doesn't mean that I didn't want to sleep with you."

"Then what was that scene with Nikolas?"

"Are you kidding me right now? Patrick, I didn't even know you were there. Nikolas was leaving town and I hugging him goodbye. You say you don't do jealousy…"

"I don't" he interrupted.

"Then what is your problem? You spend all your free time reminding me that we have a casual, commitment free arrangement and then you go ballistic when you seeing me hugging a friend – someone I've known for the better part of a decade?"

"I don't like games."

"Who's playing them? If anyone is playing games here, it's you!" she said, her voice rising.

Patrick hopped off the laundry cart. "This. This is why it won't work between us."

"Because you're hard headed and emotionally stunted?"

Patrick narrowed his eyes. "No. Because you're judgemental and high-handed."

"Since when have I judged you?"

"Every.single.day. since we met. If it's not my bedside manner, it's my relationship with my father or my sexual freedom – whatever – you judge me everyday."

"So? If I don't matter to you then what do you care what I think?"

Patrick gripped his own hair in frustration. "Who the hell said anything about you not mattering to me?"

Elizabeth walked up the hallway and noticed Epiphany standing outside a linen closet. "Epiphany? What are you doing?"

"Getting a headache."

Elizabeth stopped and heard the raised voices coming from inside. "Oh dear. God help them."

"Help them? Help them? More like God help us. These two have more issues than Time magazine and are going to drive me to Roselawn if they don't sort through them."

Elizabeth smiled and shook her head. "If only they would just admit they like each other."

"There's a better chance that the fighting in Iraq will stop before the fighting between these two does."

"You're a brave one to get involved Epiphany."

"Girl – it's called self preservation."

Robin stared at Patrick. "I said who said anything about you not mattering to me?"

"So you're saying I do matter?"

"Robin – for the love of pete – of course you matter."

She blew out her cheeks. "You know, you should get your wires checked because you send out a lot of mixed messages." Robin pinched the bridge of her nose. They were going round and round and getting nowhere. Not that she had any idea where it was they were supposed to get to.

Patrick leaned back against the laundry cart. "Robin" he paused. "I didn't mean to hurt you the other night. I just…look…you deserve to be with someone who can give you everything and I'm not that guy."

"Would you stop making decisions for me? Please? Who are you to determine anything for me? I'm a grown up – an adult – and I went into this with my eyes wide open. The only person having a problem here is you. What exactly is your issue?" She reached behind her on the shelf. "And I swear Patrick, if you say it's because you can't give me what I want one more time, I am whipping this toilet paper roll at your head."

Patrick smirked. "You probably throw like a girl….owww!" he yelped as the toilet paper crashed against the side of his head.

"You were saying?"

"Okay fine. There was possibly something developing between us – on my end. And I'm not comfortable with it. I don't want a relationship Robin – not with you – not with anyone. That's not who I am."

Robin tugged at her bottom lip. Patrick's revelation was earth shattering if for no other reason he admitted to having feelings and the ground didn't swallow him whole. "Fine."

"Fine?"

"That's all you had to say. Patrick I'm not going to push you or force you into something you don't want but don't ever try to make me feel like something is my fault when we both know it's not."

"I'm sorry."

"Good."

"You're not going to apologize?"

"For what exactly?"

"For your part in this?"

"I had no part in this. This was all you. Your freak-out, your combustion. I was, sadly, an innocent bystander who got slimed."

Patrick exhaled. "Fine. Are we friends?"

"Is it important to you?"

"Would you stop doing that?" his exasperation evident.

Robin gave a small smile. "Fine – friends."

"Good."

"Fine."

Not three minutes later, the door to the linen closet magically opened and they both walked out. With Epiphany staring at them from the Nurses Station they both sheepishly walked towards her.

"All done with your time out?" she asked.

"Yes Epiphany – we're sorry about earlier." Robin apologized.

"And so you should be. Pull a stunt like that again and I will leave you both in there overnight."

Patrick wiggled his eyebrows at Robin "Sounds promising."

"Shut up" she said teasingly. 

Robin felt better but still uneasy. She wasn't sure what had been resolved in the closet except for the admission that Patrick was developing feelings for her. She was still attracted to him and part of her wanted to return to their arrangement but she knew it was a bad idea. She had admitted to him that she wanted a relationship with someone who was capable of having one, she omitted the part where she kept hoping it would be him.

"Ah – just the two doctors I want to see" Robin and Patrick both looked up from their charts to see the Chief of Staff, Alan Quartermaine walking towards them.

"Alan – what can we do for you?" Patrick asked.

"The board has decided to send two delegates to the International Neurosciences Conference in Greece and I have selected the two of you."

Patrick's face lit up as Robin groaned inwardly. The last thing she needed as she struggled with her attraction and feelings for him was to be on a Greek Island with him. "Wow – what an honour" she said more enthusiastically than she felt.

"I'm glad you feel that way Robin. I think it's an excellent learning opportunity and I'll be looking for a full debrief of the conference upon your return. Martha is making your travel arrangements; you'll leave on the weekend."

Patrick shook Alan's hand. "Thanks so much for the vote of confidence"

"Any time Patrick. You are one of our most talented surgeons and I'm hoping you can benefit from this."

As Alan walked away, Patrick turned back to Robin. "So – Greece"

"Great."

"Better pack your bikinis"

"Hello? We are going to work not to play" she said as she headed towards her lab.

"We'll see about that" he muttered to himself.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Patrick went in search of Robin at her lab. Though there had been no agreement to return to their previous arrangement, he missed her. It irritated him that he missed her but it did nothing to change the reality. He had made a handful of friends since his surprising move the Port Charles last Christmas but it was with Robin more than anyone that he wanted to spend his time.

He stood in the doorway of her lab and watched her for a few minutes. Her ponytail was snaked around her neck and her tongue was sticking out of the corner of her mouth as she struggled to make sense of what was in front of her. She was tiny and curvy and when she let herself just be in a moment was possibly the sexiest woman he had ever known. She was also enormously intelligent and he found himself attracted as much to her brain as to her body. He sighed. Yet another new experience courtesy of Robin Scorpio.

Sensing someone staring at her she looked up from her notes and saw Patrick's lean and long frame filling her doorway.

"Are you lost Patrick? All the real medicine is practiced on the 10th floor." She smiled.

He smirked. "Ouch. That hurt my heart."

"And here I thought the rumors were true that you were the world's only living heart donor" she teased.

He shook his head. "You realize it's impossible to have a conversation with you, right?"

"And yet you keep trying."

"What can I say? I'm a results oriented person."

Robin raised her eyebrows. "Is there something I can help you with, because I'm really trying to get through this stuff before we leave for Greece."

Slightly wrong footed by the sudden end to the bantering, Patrick shoved his hands in his pockets. "Well I was thinking since we made such good progress in the linen closet today, we should perhaps try our luck over dinner."

"That's a nice offer but I already have dinner plans. Rain check?"

Patrick's mouth fell open. "With…uh….oh."

"Don't look so shocked Patrick, it's not like you're my only friend."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Of course not. That's fine – we'll have lots of time to have dinner together in Greece. Have a good night" he said hurriedly silently praying for the ground to swallow him whole.

"Okay. See you tomorrow" she said brightly before returning to her notes.

Patrick looked at her one last time before turning on his heel. He knew she had friends but she had always been so available to him that he just took it for granted that she would continue to be. He chided himself once again for his dependence on Robin and resolved to expand his social circle as soon as he returned from Greece. Patrick Drake did not go begging for dinner dates.

Robin lifted her head once more as she heard Patrick's footsteps disappear down the hallway. If she didn't know better she would swear that he had been disappointed that she had turned him down. But she did know better. They may have reached détente but nothing had fundamentally changed with him, he was still a player and she was but one on a list of people he would ask for dinner. She mulled over their linen closet conversation in her mind. He had admitted that she mattered to him and that he was even developing feelings for her but made it almost painfully clear that he was not interested in exploring those feelings any further. Until he was willing to go there with her, he was off limits for anything more than friendship. Robin made a silent promise to herself that she would not let the sun and sand of Greece seduce her into thinking differently. She checked her watch and jumped as she realized she was running behind and would be late for her dinner with Bruce if she didn't get a move on. 

"Looks like someone had a good night" Liz said as a beaming Robin exited the elevator the next morning. Patrick was in the middle of a conversation with a colleague but looked up when he heard Liz's voice and had to agree that Robin looked happy. No doubt had something to do with her dinner plans the night before. Before he could stop himself, he let his mind wander, wondering who she had dinner with and whether or not she slept with them. Briefly he thought it might be Nikolas until he remembered the prince was out of the country.

"I did have a good night, thank you" she said as she flipped through her messages. "Have you been to that new little French place on Green Street – L'Oree du bois?"

"Can't say that I have" Liz said, amused to see Robin feeling so confident and happy and it having nothing to do with Patrick.

"It's amazing. Their pate is to die for and don't even get me started on the lamb – goodness. I finished my plate and wanted a second round" she giggled.

"I've always wondered where you put all that food" Liz teased.

Robin turned and patted her behind. "Right here baby."

Unconsciously Patrick licked his lips. He had explored every inch of Robin's body and still couldn't decide which was his favourite body part. Most often that decision was dependent on what he was doing to the body part and how it was responding. Unable to stay away any longer, he excused himself from the conversation and walked over, joining Robin and Elizabeth.

"Are you all packed?" he asked.

Liz and Robin exchanged looks before she turned to him. "Are you offering to pack for me?"

"Well, if you don't mind having to spend the next 5 days in nothing but a bikini, I would be happy to pack for you."

"Ha! I'm mostly packed, I need to finish tonight. I wish our flight wasn't so early."

Liz put her hands on her hips. "You know, I'm not so sure I want to hear the two of you whinge about early flights to Greece, especially when I know you're flying business class."

Robin's cheeks flushed slightly. "Good point Liz – I'll bring you home some olive oil."

Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Epiphany. Patrick immediately stood straighter. "Nothing to see here Nurse Johnson, everyone is getting along just fine."

She twisted her mouth into a wry grin. "Glad to hear it. Dr. Quartermaine has asked for all doctors to join him in the executive boardroom in an hour."

"Do you know why?" Robin asked.

"If I did, don't you think I'd tell you?" she asked.

"Yup. Sorry." Robin looked at Patrick and made a face. Patrick bit his lip not to laugh. "Okay, well I'm off in search of drinkable coffee before our mysterious meeting."

"If you find in this place, let us know" Liz called after her. She turned her attention to Patrick. "Bikinis?"

"What?"

"Could you be more transparent?"

"I think she'd look great in a bikini what's so wrong with that?"

Liz shook her head. "You blew it with her and you are sadly mistaken if you think some cheap flirting and throw away lines are going to work on her."

"I resent that!" he said, placing his hands on his hips. "There is nothing cheap about my flirting. I'll have you know, some people consider it an art form."

"Yeah, probably the same people who think injecting their faces with botulism is a good idea. If you want her, if you really want her, go back to the drawing board Patrick."

Elizabeth left Patrick standing once again with his mouth slightly opened. 

"If you really want her." The problem was he didn't know. He wanted her in so many ways, in bed, at work, as a friend and confidant but didn't know if there was any way to roll it all together. And if there wasn't which part was he willing to give up? All of it was giving him a headache and confirmed his initial assessment that relationships were not worth the trouble they brought. 

Robin slid into the back of the crowded boardroom and saw Alan at the podium. She took a look around for Patrick and saw him squeezed into a corner, arms crossed looking completely bored.

"Colleagues, I'm so glad you were able to join us today. This is truly a momentous occasion for General Hospital as we welcome the newest member of our Board of Directors – Bruce Harris." Robin smiled widely, a reaction that did not go unnoticed by Patrick. "We are very lucky to have Bruce join us here. He did his undergraduate degree at NYU and has a Master's in International Business from the London School of Economics. He has served abroad at the US Embassies in Paris, Vienna and Rome. He was a visiting fellow at St. Andrew's in Scotland has previously sat on the boards of Sloan Kettering and Mass General. He will be a valuable asset to this hospital as we work to secure more funding for our research projects and he will assist us in making General Hospital the envy of all on the East Coast. Ladies and Gentlemen, Bruce Harris."

Patrick looked at him critically. He looked like a displaced surfer with beach blonde hair and dark blue eyes. He was not as tall as Patrick and was definitely beefier. "Probably spends all of his time working out, admiring himself in the mirror" Patrick thought savagely. It was clear that his pinstripe suit was custom made as was his shirt. "So full of himself" Patrick murmured.

"Alan, great doctors of this hospital. I am humbled by this honour and for the opportunity to work amongst you. I have had an opportunity to review the work done here and it is outstanding. I congratulate you all for what you have done to cement GH's reputation as a hospital of compassion and innovation. But let me tell you, more can be done. This hospital can show the way forward to others and be a leader worldwide. It will be my pleasure and privilege to lead you in this. I look forward to working with all of you as we transform General Hospital together."

Patrick felt the bile rising in his throat. There was something about Bruce that put him on edge immediately. He sounded like his grandfather a five term Senator who could give a barnstorm speech on pizza as well as foreign policy. Both were more flash than substance and provoked a feeling of distrust in him. He looked over to Robin who was still hanging at the back of the room. Pushing his way through the sycophants who were lining up to pay homage to the newest director, he finally got to her.

"So, ah, you must be happy for your friend?"

"Yeah – I'm thrilled. It also means he'll be spending more time in town which means I'll get to see him more often. We had such a good time in Paris – this will be like old times."

Patrick didn't react outwardly but certainly didn't warm to the idea of her spending good times with Bruce. He stifled a groan as he saw Alan heading towards them with Bruce in tow.

"Bruce, here are two of our rising stars. I'd like to introduce you to Dr. Patrick Drake. He's one of our neurologists on staff and a gifted surgeon."

Bruce shook Patrick's hand in that familiar politician way. "So nice to meet you Dr. Drake – a real pleasure."

"Thanks" he mumbled.

"And of course" Alan continued. "I believe you know Dr. Scorpio."

"Of course I do" Bruce said smiling putting an arm around Robin's shoulder "She's my girl!"

Robin giggled and looked up at Bruce. From Patrick's viewpoint it looked like she was batting her eyelashes and he was horrified. "Oh Bruce! Stop it. I am so thrilled that you'll be here – what a coup for GH."

"I am the lucky one" he said. "Must run and network some more – I'll call you later" he kissed the side of her head. Patrick's eyes narrowed at the intimate gesture.

"Okay – have fun!" Robin turned to Patrick. "I'm heading back to the lab – are you sticking around?"

"No – this kind of glad handing makes me mental. I'll walk you to the elevators."

The two walked silently to the elevators. Robin smiled and waved as she got off on the 8th floor. "Later" she called.

"Yeah" he muttered. 

During his rounds he had two voices echoing in his head – Bruce's "She's my girl" and Liz's "If you really want her go back to the drawing board." Both statements bothered him but he couldn't put his finger on why. He had called Robin in the lab to see if she wanted to share a taxi to the airport in the morning but couldn't get a hold of her in the lab or in her office. Signing out for the day he figured he would let her find her own way to the hospital.

It took him less than 20 minutes to pack for the trip, leaving him far too much time on his hands. He tried to watch the baseball game but couldn't get interested. Aimlessly flipping the channels he found nothing to distract him.

"This is retarded!" he said jumping off the bed. 

Pulling on a navy golf shirt and slipping into his running shoes, he grabbed his room key and headed out. He stopped at the Mini Market and picked up two Fudge Mocha ice cream bars and headed to Robin's apartment. Ice cream was a safe thing to bring to her. It didn't contain subtext or send mixed messages. It would give him an excuse to hang out with her for a few hours.

He approached her apartment when he heard the door open. Ducking around a corner, Patrick was shocked to see Bruce leaving.

"Are you sure I can't help you pack? You could model your bikinis for me" he teased. Robin rolled her eyes and Patrick felt his blood pressure rise.

"There will be no bikini modeling tonight."

"Come on Robin, it's not like I haven't seen you in one before."

"That was a long time ago Bruce."

"Not that long ago – three years ago in Nice wasn't it? I think I have photos."

"Shut up and go. I need to get ready."

"Fine" he sighed exaggeratedly. "Have a good time. Go easy on the Ouzo."

"Yes boss."

He leaned in and kissed both cheeks. "I'll miss you – call me when you get back."

Robin smiled. "Will do – thanks from coming by." She waved before closing the door.

Patrick was dumbstruck. What had he just witnessed? And why did it make him feel sick? He waited until the elevator doors closed on Bruce before leaving his hiding place.

Disappointed, he dumped the fudge mocha bars in the garbage can at the end of the hall. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 **

Robin groaned as her alarm rang. Prying open one eye she groaned for a second time when the clock read 3:30 a.m. Early morning flights were brutal, business class or not. With great effort, she hauled herself out of bed and stumbled towards the shower. As she let the water wash over her, hoping somehow it would make her feel more awake, her mind went to thoughts of Patrick. She had called him after Bruce had left to see if he wanted to share a taxi but her call went straight to voicemail. "Probably on a date" she thought to herself. It bothered her to think that he could just casually move onto another person without a second thought. If she were being truly honest, she would have to admit that she envied him for it. For as long as she could remember Robin had formed strong bonds with the people in her life. There was nothing casual about her friendships or her relationships though it would have made things infinitely easier if there was. Robin pushed the people in her life to be fully engaged with her – she made no room for passengers.

But then there was Patrick. 

He was so different than anyone she had ever known which attracted and scared her all at the same time. She felt dizzy around him, unsure of herself – he kept her off balance. She wanted to be around him and hated that she did. Each time he behaved badly or treated her with less than she thought she deserved she swore it would be the last time but then out of nowhere he would show himself to be this compassionate, caring, sensitive man. It was intoxicating and she would be pulled back in. He was a bad boy minus the violence of Jason Morgan and he was a brilliant doctor minus the singular obsession of the few doctors she had dated in Paris. Robin sighed as she exited the shower. A week in Greece with Patrick had the potential to be very dangerous.

She saw Patrick in line at the check in counter when she arrived at the airport. He looked exhausted, like he hadn't slept. Robin wondered if something had happened between him and his father. They had a tentative relationship but both were quick to take offence at the earliest chance. And though Patrick would never admit it out loud, Robin knew that he wanted his father's approval and his love and whenever it appeared that it might not be forthcoming it would send him into a tailspin. He would cover with bravado and arrogance but Robin knew a little something about being let down by a father and she could see the hurt in his eyes.

She was so lost in thought she almost didn't hear the agent call her to check in. Robin lifted her suitcase on the scale and presented her passport. Taking her boarding pass, she walked towards security and caught up to Patrick.

"Hey" she said touching his arm.

He looked down at her and tried hard to push the scene from the night before from his mind. "Morning."

Robin furrowed her brow. "No coffee yet?"

"Something like that."

"Are you excited? I've brought my guidebook" she teased.

"Goody" he said flatly.

"You're in a mood" she remarked

"Do you always talk this much this early?" he asked not looking at her. He knew he was being a jerk but couldn't stop himself.

"Never mind" she sighed and stepped behind him.

He deposited his carry-on on the x-ray machine and walked through the metal detector without incident. He was rearranging his carry on when he noticed that Robin was having a prolonged conversation with the security screeners. They had dumped out her entire carry on bag and were taking out her pill bottles and lining them up. Much to Patrick's surprise they also took out a syringe and two vials. He could see Robin's cheeks beginning to flush with embarrassment. Unthinkingly he walked towards her to see if he could help.

"And what is the purpose of this medication?" the screener asked, picking up the bottles and examining them.

"They are to treat my condition" Robin said evenly.

"Which is?"

"I have HIV" she said. She lowered her eyes and hated that she did so but she felt so exposed.

The screener flinched and put down the bottle he was holding. "Do you have something to confirm that?" he said as he put on a second pair of gloves. Patrick's mouth fell open slightly.

With a slightly shaking hand, Robin reached over into her bag and pulled out a letter from Alan confirming her diagnosis. She held the letter out to the screener who looked at it and then held it by the corner while he read it. One of the other screeners came over and started to pack up Robin's bag when the first one stopped him. "Don't touch that she has HIV"

Patrick saw Robin stiffen. Unable to take any more of their ignorance he stepped forward. "Do you mind telling me what you are doing here other than trying to humiliate my friend?"

The screener looked up at Patrick. "Sir, this is none of your concern please step back."

"You are being ignorant and rude. I'd like you to apologize to my friend…"

Robin touched his arm. "Patrick, leave it."

He looked at her bewildered. "Leave it?"

She nodded. "Why don't you go ahead to the lounge and I'll meet you there?"

Patrick stared at her and began to wonder just how many times and how many ways had Robin been subjected to this type of public ridicule. "Are you sure?" he said softly trying to quell his desire to punch the security screener.

"Yes. I'll see you in a few minutes."

"Excuse me Miss, you'll have to follow me" the screener said, leading Robin to secondary.

Patrick watched as Robin followed the screener to an interview room. He wanted to scream that he had sex with her, that he touched her regularly, that he kissed her, that he dreamt of touching her and there was no way that anyone was going to catch anything by rifling through her carry on. He was bowled over by the prejudice dressed up as concern. It had truly never bothered him that she had HIV. To him, it was the same as if she had cancer or some other disease managed through medication. During their time together there had been small reminders about her disease whether it was the type of condoms they needed to use or how she was affected by the encephalitis outbreak during the winter but otherwise he didn't spend much time thinking about it. And he certainly couldn't understand the reaction he had just witnessed. It was more than 20 years since the first case of HIV was diagnosed in the United States and yet it appeared some people were still stuck in a time warp. He shook his head as he walked towards the lounge to wait for her.

Patrick looked at his watch obsessively. Robin had been gone for almost half an hour and their flight was beginning to board. He contemplated staying behind and waiting for her but knew that she would be furious with him if he did. There was also a chance that she had just bypassed the lounge and was already boarding. Grabbing his knapsack, he headed to the gate.

His concern grew as he settled into his seat and he saw that the seat beside him, Robin's seat, remained empty. The pilot announced that they would be pushing back from the gate in a couple of minutes and Patrick began to panic as there was still no sign of her. Finally he saw her. She was the last to board the plane and looked disheveled. Her cheeks were flushed and her jaw was set in such a way that he knew she was upset.

"Hey" he said standing up.

"Hi" she said tightly.

Patrick took her bag from her and placed it in overhead bin. He let her slide in to the window seat. He sat back down and did up his seatbelt. "Okay?"

Robin nodded as she tightened her seat belt. She turned and stared out the window. She was overcome by her experience at security. Prejudice wasn't a new experience for her but it shocked her nonetheless. Just when she thought she had experienced all the humiliation that her disease could provoke, she would find a new level. She was also embarrassed that Patrick had witnessed it. Every day was struggle to feel normal and be treated as normal and reminders like this one upset her.

They had been in the air about an hour when Robin excused herself to go the bathroom. She hadn't spoken to Patrick since she sat down other than to excuse herself as she passed by him. After the third trip to the bathroom Patrick turned to her.

"What's going on? Are you okay?" Robin nodded, wiping at her mouth. "Have you been throwing up?" She couldn't quite meet his eyes. He tilted her chin upwards. "Robin, are you sick?" his voice dripping concern.

"No, I uh," she exhaled "my stomach is upset that's all."

He narrowed his eyes. "Air sickness?"

Robin paused, unsure of what to say. She knew he wouldn't believe her if she said it was air sickness but didn't know how much she wanted to share right now. "No. I uh, when I get upset so does my stomach."  
Patrick's hands gripped the armrest. "Is this because of what happened at security" Robin nodded. "That's it" he said indignantly. "You need to file a complaint as soon as we land. Robin, what they did was completely inexcusable and they should be fired for it."

"They won't be" she said quietly.

"Has this…has this happened before?" Patrick couldn't keep the surprise from his voice.

"More times than I care to admit to."

Patrick clenched his jaw shut and looked away. There was just no excuse in this day and age for that type of behaviour to exist. Robin was this kind, beautiful, smart woman who lived her life with an enormous amount of grace on a daily basis. These people weren't even fit to touch the hem of her pants let alone try to debase her. He felt the rage coursing through him and though not prone to violence, really wanted to punch something or someone. His eyes softened as he turned back to Robin.

"I have some Dramamine in my bag – do you want some?"

She smiled tiredly. "I already took some. I think it's starting to kick in" She pulled her blanket around her and set her pillow up against the window. Leaning her head against it, she closed her eyes hoping sleep would help her forget about her morning.

Patrick watched her for a few minutes and not for the first time was amazed at her strength. He knew then that if he ever wanted a relationship with a woman, it would be with someone like her.

Reaching over, he laced his fingers through hers and gave her hand a squeeze. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Robin slept almost the entire flight waking before they touched down in Athens. Patrick had put his hand to her forehead a few times to ensure that it really was just stress and not some kind of flu. That moment in the GH locker room where she was struck by the encephalitis was one of the scariest moments of his life. Having worked together for only three months, they had spent most of their time sniping or driving each other up the wall. Despite his plea for her to leave before the hospital was quarantined she refused and they ended up working side by side to treat and save as many people as possible. He had been impressed with her stamina and abilities during the crisis. She even found a way to make what little antidote they had go further. But then, long after the normal incubation period for the virus, she caught it. The lack of sleep and the poor food caught up with her and her immune system was unable to put up any resistance.

He had carried her in his arms into a private room. She was the only one in the hospital who had one as more patients than free beds arrived on a daily basis. In that moment, he had been truly terrified. He had no understanding of his feelings for her but he did know that if she died, it would haunt him. 

He was in no hurry to revisit those feelings.

Robin stretched as the plane began its descent. "Well look who decided to join the waking world" Patrick teased.

"Geez" she said yawning "Did you not sleep at all? The bags under your eyes could qualify for carry on."

Patrick smirked. "Charming."

"Did I miss any good movies?"

"Three channels were showing the Wedding Crashers, so no."

Robin looked out the window. "I love Athens."

"Have you been to Greece before?"

"A few times. I spent some time on Santorini and Mykonos but I've never been to Rhodes before. My book says it's a UNESCO world heritage city." Patrick stifled a laugh. "Are you laughing at my guidebook?"

"No" he lied.

"Oh sure, laugh now but when you can't find a decent restaurant to eat in you'll be begging for it."

Patrick licked his bottom lip and moved in close to her ear. "I don't mind begging but usually not for guidebooks"

Robin shivered as his breath hit her skin. She playfully slapped his arm. "Perv"

"It's one of the many things you like about me" 

"Really. I don't like that many things about you."

"Hmmm. That's not what you said the last time we slept together."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh well, hope the fumes of that memory keeps you going for a while" she said lightly. Stubble was beginning to form on his cheeks and she wanted to reach out touch it. Sensing the feeling could be stronger than her, she sat on her hands.

Patrick raised an eyebrow. "You alright?"

"Yup" she nodded. "Cold hands."

Patrick reached over and took her wrist. "Then let me warm them up." He put her tiny hand between his two larger ones and slowly began to rub them against her hand.

Robin's breath caught in her throat. "Patrick" she croaked.

Reaching across, he took her other hand and did the same thing. Robin closed her eyes. She loved the feeling of his hands on her. Patrick leaned in again towards her ear. "Any time you're feeling cold, let me know. I'm happy to warm you up" he whispered as he dropped a kiss just under her ear.

Robin groaned inwardly. They were not even off the plane and she was beginning to doubt her ability to resist him.

Once they landed, Patrick took both of their bags from the overhead bin and insisted on carrying hers as they headed into the terminal. They had one more plane ride before they reached their destination. Robin laughed at Patrick's expression as they boarded the propeller plane that was taking them to Rhodes.

"Do you think this thing actually flies?" he asked as they settled into their seats. "I think my car is bigger" he grumbled.

"Why Dr. Drake, are you afraid of flying?"

"No – not when it comes to jumbo jets but this looks like something kids get in their stockings for Christmas." He twisted around his seat looking at the 30 seat plane.

"What are you looking for?"

"A lifejacket. And if you're very nice to me Robin, I'll let you float with me when we crash"

Robin laughed at his obvious discomfort. "Big baby" 

Less than an hour later as their plane touched down on the ocean side landing strip, Patrick and Robin were breathing in the salt air. They made their way out of the tiny airport and climbed into a taxi. Robin squeezed Patrick's arm as the car pulled up to the Hilton resort. Nestled atop a hill, the hotel overlooked the ocean.

"Oh my god – it's beautiful"

"So's the scenery" Patrick said, admiring a few bikini clad women as they walked by.

Robin followed his gaze and rolled her eyes. "God you are so predictable."

Patrick smirked. "We both know that's not true." He paid the driver and let the porter take their bags.

"What room are you?" he asked Robin as she took her room key.

"1015 – you?"

"1017 – we're neighbours"

"Great – there's not getting away from you."

"Guess not" he said, giving her a devastating smile.

Robin opened the door to her room and walked straight to the balcony. She smiled as she saw the two pools that gave way to the ocean. It felt good to be away from Port Charles and where better than a little slice of Greek paradise.

Patrick flopped on his bed, exhausted. He hadn't slept the entire flight because he was worried about Robin. Closing his eyes he let out a frustrated sigh. Why couldn't he stop thinking about her? He didn't want to think about her, he wanted to move on – keep her as a friend but go back to his uncomplicated life. He finally gave into the fatigue and fell asleep. 

Robin unpacked her clothes and changed into her bathing suit and shorts. She knocked on Patrick's door but got no answer. Shrugging she headed down to the beach. The ocean was calling and she couldn't make it wait a minute longer.

Patrick woke almost two hours later feeling slightly more together. He changed into his shorts and a t-shirt. Slipping on his sneakers, he grabbed his room key and headed out for a run. Following the hotel path to the beach, he slipped his Ipod earphones in and started on his run. He had been running for nearly half an hour when he spotted a familiar sight in the sand – Robin. Sitting up straight, staring ahead at the water, she was in a red tankini with a surfboard by her side. Patrick flopped into the sand beside her.

"Hey" he said panting.

Robin jumped in surprise. "Hey yourself."

He nodded at her board. "Do you actually surf or are you just trying to look cool?"

"I surf" she said confidently.

Just when Patrick didn't think it was possible to be more attracted to her, he discovers she's a surfer. "Where the heck did you learn to surf? I don't think the Port Charles river has very good waves."

Robin laughed as she pushed her wet hair back. "Well, while you were living your super life in Manhattan, I was living in Paris and vacationing in south of France, Spain, Italy – there's great surfing in the Medeterranean." She stood up and grabbed her board. "Guess I'm not as cloistered as you think. Gotta run – there's a wave with my name on it."

Patrick watched as she sprinted to the water and paddled her way out. He shook his head – there was no figuring Robin Scorpio out, that much he knew. He watched her ride a few waves before heading back to the hotel to shower and change. 

He knocked on Robin's door and caught his breath when she opened it. Dressed in a white cotton shift, her hair was down in loose waves and her face sunkissed from her afternoon on the water.

"Hi there surfer girl"

"Hey yourself" Robin unconsciously licked her lips. Patrick had on a light blue golf shirt and white pants and once again she felt the overwhelming urge to reach out and touch him.

"I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner?"

"That would be great – let me just grab my purse."

They walked to town and found a quiet seaside restaurant. Their waiter was enamored by them and insisted on preparing a special table d'hote for them featuring Greek specialties such as dolmades and moussaka as well as fresh fish. Sharing a dessert of honey and figs Robin pushed her chair back from the table.

"I am stuffed!" she declared.

"No kidding?" he said smiling. "I think you ate twice your bodyweight there."

"Um, hello? I did not eat all that by myself."

Patrick laughed. "Shall we walk some of this food off?"

"Good plan." Despite Patrick's protestations, Robin insisted on paying for dinner. The waiter gave her a flower as they were leaving.

"I think he likes you" Patrick remarked.

Robin sniffed the flower. "Nah – he's just European. European men appreciate women and don't always do it in an effort to get them into bed."

Patrick furrowed his brow. "Are you saying American men are vulgar?"

"Not vulgar – just different." Robin looked at his face. "I wasn't talking about you, you know."

"Right. Good. Because I've given you flowers on a few occasions."

Robin held up her hand. "Enough. Let's talk about something else."

Patrick reached for her hand as they walked along the beach, saying nothing. Robin stopped and slipped off her shoes taking them in her right hand.  
"It's hard to walk on sand in heels" she said shyly. 

Patrick smiled back as they continued their walk. The salt air and the evening blooms invaded their nostrils, making everything smell fresh and new.

Finding a spot of sand out front of the hotel, Patrick pulled Robin down beside him on the sand. They stared out at the water and the way the moonlight skimmed its surface. Robin began to shift in the sand. "So uh, have you had a look at the conference program, do you know what sessions you're going to attend?"

Patrick chuckled, shaking his head. "Only you would sit here in front of the ocean on a gorgeous night talking about conference sessions."

Robin covered her face in embarrassment. "Just trying to make conversation" she said quietly.

Patrick leaned in towards her. "Try not to talk so much" he said as he slowly pulled her lips with his. Robin felt her stomach flip flop as he slipped his hand behind her head and pulled her in closer to him. Opening his mouth over hers, he swept his tongue in her mouth and moaned as she massaged his with her own. Leaning back, he pulled her on top of him. Deepening the kiss, he began to run his fingertips up her back while pushing his hips into hers.

Panting Robin pulled away. "This isn't a good idea"

"On the contrary" he said breathlessly "I think it's an excellent idea"

Robin sat up and slid off of him. "I just, I can't."

Patrick ran his hands over his face as he sat up. "Why not?"

"Patrick, we just got to the point where we're speaking again, I don't think we should screw it up."

"And how is this going to screw it up?"

"It just will – it always does."

"Are you saying you don't want to sleep with me?"

"Not don't, shouldn't. Of course I want to sleep with you Patrick – you know that I'm attracted to you but I just don't think I should. At least not right now."

He exhaled and stood up. Holding out his hand, he helped her off the sand. "Fine."

"Are you angry?"

"No. This is your choice and I need to respect it. Let's go, I'll walk you back to your room."

They didn't talk further other than to say goodnight as he dropped her at his room before going into his own. Robin flopped on her bed, exasperated. She wanted to change her mind and throw herself against him, have him bring her to the heights of pleasure but knew it was a bad idea. Sex only complicated things for them and they had enough complications as it was.

She slept fitfully that night, dreaming of Patrick and his touch. Ready to head downstairs to check into the conference, she knocked on his door but got no answer. Having picked her delegate badge and conference material, she stopped at the coffee stand and picked up two coffees to go. She saw him from behind and picked up her pace. Robin didn't think coffee would make up for the disappointment of the night before but she wanted to eliminate any awkwardness between them. She stopped as she realized he was speaking to someone.

"So tell me Dr. Drake, are you here alone or did you come with someone."

"I'm alone Dr. Maloney"

"Heather, I insist" she said in a lilting Irish accent.

"Heather" he repeated with his velvety voice. "I did come with a colleague but she's not the let loose type."

Heather ran her finger up his shirt. "Lucky for you, I am."

Patrick flashed his dimple. "How about dinner tonight?"

"Sounds divine"

Patrick offered his elbow. "Shall I accompany you inside?"

"I'd be delighted" she said, linking arms with him.

Robin watched as they disappeared in to conference hall. Turning around, incensed, she dropped the second coffee into the trash and headed back outside.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Discouraged but not entirely sure why she was, Robin headed out the terrace and took a seat by the pool. There would be plenty of time to return to the conference later but for now she wanted to be as far from Patrick as she could be. 

She ordered another coffee and a pastry and leaned back into the chair, soaking up the morning sun.

"Conferences are such a bore, are they not?" Robin turned to the direction of the voice. Blocking the sun was a very handsome, well-dressed man. He extended his hand. "Sebastien Dumas"

Robin shook his hand. "Robin Scorpio."

He sat down beside her. "From America?"

She nodded "And you?"

"France?"

"Ah oui? Vous venez ou dans la France?"

"Lyon" he replied "Vous parlez francais?"

"Oui. J'ai rester a Paris pendant plusiers annees."

"How long have you been back in America?"

"Almost a year – are you a neurologist?"

"Yes. This is my fourth year attending the conference and while they always choose beautiful locations I find the subject matter excruciatingly dull."

"And yet you keep coming back."

He lifted his hands "And miss the opportunity to meet beautiful colleagues like you?"

Robin rolled her eyes. "I have to be honest Sebastien, eight years in Paris has made me somewhat immune to French charm."

"Ah Robin whatever charm you were subjected to was not French charm but Parisien charm – I am from the south - we are much more charming than our overblown cousins in the capital."

Robin giggled. "Confidence is certainly a French trait" She found herself wondering briefly if there wasn't some part of Patrick that was French.

"And I thought you Americans appreciated confidence" he teased.

Robin smiled. "In small doses."

"So is this your first time to Rhodes?"

"Yes – it's gorgeous. I did some great surfing yesterday."

"You surf?" he asked with eyebrows raised.

"Yes."

"Well Robin, you are certainly a woman with many talents."

Robin actually felt herself blush as she drained her coffee. "I should probably get back to the conference. My Chief is expecting a full debrief upon my return."

"May I accompany you?"

"That would be nice." Sebastien hurriedly got up and pulled her chair out for her. He escorted her to the back row in the conference hall and casually draped his arm across the back of her chair.

Robin spotted Patrick immediately. He was deep in conversation with Heather and completely ignoring the speaker. She could tell by his body position that he was in full flirt mode, giving her the benefit of his dimple and long eyelashes. She sighed. How sad that she knew his moves. She returned her attention to the speaker. Sebastien made the occasional comment to her but not try to distract her from the presentation.

At the coffee break, a giggling Heather and an attentive Patrick walked past Robin. Patrick saw her out of the corner of his eye and couldn't help but notice the man talking to her. Robin was playing with her hair, tucking and retucking it behind her ears – a clear sign that she was flirting. 

"She certainly didn't waste any time" he thought to himself before turning his attention back to Heather.

Sebastien's phone rang and he excused himself to answer it. Seeing Robin sitting alone as he returned to the conference hall, Patrick sat in the seat beside her. "Good morning."

She looked up in surprise. "Hi."

"Where's your friend?"

"Who?"

"I thought I saw you sitting here with someone."

"What happened to your latest conquest?"

"Pardon?" Patrick hadn't realized that she had seen him with Heather and for some reason it bothered him that she had.

"The ectomorph you were flirting with while the presentation was going on."

Patrick smiled. "Jealous?"

"Should I be?"

He shrugged. Sebastien returned to their seats. "Robin, I'm sorry but I must run. Are you free for dinner tonight?"

Robin didn't even look at Patrick as she smiled at Sebastien. "Absolutely."

"Excellent. I will see you at the Olive Grove around 8?"

"I look forward to it."

He leaned in and kissed each cheek. "Au plaisir de vous voir."

"A plus tot" she replied.

For a brief minute Patrick was so lost in how sexy she sounded speaking French that he completely forgot about the dinner invitation issued in front of him. He stood up suddenly. "Well I'll leave you to it. See you later."

"Yup, sure" she said dismissively.

Patrick returned to the seat beside Heather and tried to turn his attention to her and away from Robin. It's not that he didn't expect men to be interested in her. Truthfully he was always surprised that more men weren't. Could they not see how attractive she was? How smart she was? How easy she was to be around? 

He just always expected her to be available to him.

He looked for her several times during the day but didn't see her. He didn't know why he bothered but a small part of him always felt better when he knew where Robin was. He had made arrangements for dinner with Heather at 7:30 p.m. at the Olive Grove. It was a five star restaurant in the hotel after all.

Patrick and Heather were seated by the window when Robin walked in looking for Sebastien. Seeing her scanning the restaurant, Patrick caught his breath. She was dressed in a simple pink dress with her hair tied in a knot at the base of her neck, leaving her neck exposed. He quickly turned his attention to Heather to avoid being seen by Robin.

"So Heather – have you ever been to the States?"

"A few times – not my cup of tea I'm afraid. I much prefer the continental lifestyle."

"Ah." He felt at a loss. "So do you plan on continuing your career in Ireland or are you hoping to move around?" 

"I'd really like to get some experience in a larger hospital in Paris or Rome. How about you? Are you planning to stay in America forever?" 

He stroked her hand. "Well, I'm beginning to see the benefits that Europe has to offer."

Robin spotted Sebastien almost immediately. She smiled as she walked towards him. He stood immediately as she approached the table. "So lovely to see you Robin."

"And you too. Did you have a nice afternoon?" she asked taking her seat.

"I had a meeting with some pharmaceutical suppliers but all in all it was quite boring. And you? Did you learn anything groundbreaking today?"

"How to sleep with my eyes open" she offered. Sebastien laughed. He filled her wine glass as they settled into an easy conversation. Two bottles of wine later, Sebastien suggested a night of dancing at the outdoor bar. Robin agreed and happily took his hand as they left the restaurant.

Patrick and Heather were several drinks into it as well when he spotted Robin leaving. She was holding her date's hand and he felt a flash of anger. Robin was not a person who moved quickly on things. She needed time to think and analyze. How had she gone from meeting the guy to holding his hand in one day?

"Heather? Would you like to get a nightcap at the bar?"

"What a wonderful idea, Patrick." 

Patrick signed the check and they headed outside. He found them a table at the far side of the patio and ordered a beer for himself and martini for Heather.

Sebastien installed them near the dance floor and ordered a round of champagne cocktails for them. Several cocktails later, Robin was pulling Sebastien on to the dance floor, shimming her hips. He slid his hands on her hips and met her hip movement for hip movement.

"Tell me Patrick, who is the stunning woman on the dance floor that you can't stop staring at?" Heather asked.

His attention pulled back to his date, he stammered "Pardon?"

"Patrick, you've been staring at her for several minutes now. Either you've completely lost interest in me or you have something going on with her."

Patrick was drunk but not so drunk that he didn't realize Robin was wrecking his mojo. "I'm sorry Heather. She's a friend from work and I …uh…" he took her hand. "I'm sorry – you have my full attention."

Heather smiled at him. He was devastatingly handsome and she was hoping to get him back to her room but he was proving to be a bit more work than she had imagined. She was getting ready to make her move when a shriek and lots of clapping distracted them both. Both turned their heads to the bar and Patrick's mouth fell open as he saw Robin standing on the bar dancing. Her hair had sprung loose from its knot and was cascading around her shoulders.

He swallowed thickly and turned to Heather with an apologetic smile. "Sorry Heather, it's been fun" 

Standing up he stalked to the bar and grabbing hold of her wrist pulled her off the bar and over his shoulder.

"Put me down" she shrieked.

Sebastien stepped forward. "Excuse me but what do you think you're doing?"

"Out of my way Frenchie" he said as he brushed past him with Robin still slung over his shoulder.

Robin kicked at him and struggled to get free. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" she yelled at him in the elevator. Patrick said nothing, opening the door to his hotel room and dropping her on the bed. Furiously sitting up, Robin smoothed out her hair. "What is your problem?" she slurred slightly.

Patrick stood in front of her with his hands on his hips. "Me? What the hell where you doing making a public spectacle of yourself?" he seethed.

She stood up. "I was…what do you call it….letting loose."

"With Frenchie?"

"Well you weren't exactly dateless" she accused. 

Losing her balance she fell towards him and his arms clamped tightly around her. Panting, she stared up at him, slightly cross-eyed. Patrick found he too was having trouble breathing. "God you're beautiful" she said.

Without hesitation, Patrick dipped his head and crashed his lips against hers. Her lips parted slightly giving his tongue access to her mouth. Robin moaned into his mouth and pushed body into his. Reaching for the hem of her dress, Patrick pulled it over her head and threw it to the floor. He smiled seductively when he saw she only had a g-string on. He dropped a kiss on her shoulder while bringing his hands to her breasts. Robin arched into him as he gently tugged on her nipples.

"Robin, you are so sexy" he said breathlessly. 

Grabbing him by the belt buckle, she backed up towards the bed, pulling him towards her. He unbuttoned his shirt as she fumbled with his belt, pulling it off and throwing it on her dress. She grazed her hand over his growing arousal causing him to close his eyes and catch his breath. She undid his button and zipper and slipped her hand inside, taking hold of him.

"Christ" he exhaled.

"I've missed touching you" she said as she began to stroke him. Patrick pushed his pants over his hips and stepped out of them. Kicking off his shoes, he moved towards her.

Scooting back on the bed, Robin moved to take off her shoes. "No" he said suddenly. "Leave them" his eyes were dark pools of desire.

Robin stopped and smiled. She spread her legs slightly and Patrick licked his lips in response. He hovered over her, nipped at her shoulder and her collarbone as he worked his way down her body. Stopping at her breasts, he circled her nipples with his tongue. Robin fisted his hair. "You feel so good" she hissed with her eyes closed.

Patrick continued to move down her body, covering her in kisses. His lips were beginning swell from all the contact with her skin. He watched her face as she slipped two fingers inside. Her eyes flew open. "Jesus" she exhaled. She ran her hands over his shoulders and through his hair as he increased the pressure. Robin began to undulate against his hand. His erection continued to harden to an almost painful point and he knew he wouldn't be able to hold out much longer. He reached for his shaving kit on the bedside table and pulled out a condom. He needed both hands to tear open the little square packet and found his coordination slightly off from all the drinks. Robin took hold of his arousal and stroked him, dragging her thumb across the tip.

"Hurry Patrick, I need you inside of me"

Finally finding success with the packet, he pushed his hand out of the way and sheathed himself before plunging into her, her legs slung over his shoulders. He sought out her lips, pulling them with his as his pace increased. Robin felt herself tighten and gave into the building climax. Patrick followed her almost immediately. His body continued to twitch in after shocks as she pulsed against him.

He collapsed on top of her, panting. Robin pushed his hair off of his face and covered him in kisses. As his heartbeat resumed a normal rate, he rolled off of her and disposed of the condom. Feeling a little overwhelmed by everything, Robin got up from the bed and started to pick up her clothes.

"Where are you going?" he asked quietly.

"I thought…um…"

"Stay" he asked holding out his hand. Robin paused ever so slightly before taking his hand and climbing into bed with him. He wrapped her in his arms and nuzzled her neck. Robin reveled in the feel of his body against hers. They fit and everything felt right when they were together. Robin had one final thought before she drifted to sleep.

"Now what?"


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Robin sighed as she felt Patrick snuggle up against her. He kissed the back of her neck and traced his fingers down her side. She could feel the evidence of how awake he was pressed up against her thigh.

"God, you give new meaning to the saying up and at 'em" she mumbled with her eyes still closed.

"You've never complained about me waking you up before" he whispered as he slid his hand over her hip. He moved his lips to her shoulder. Stroking his hand across her apex, her legs parted slightly of their own free will. Robin pushed back against him as he slowly traced his fingers along her outline.

"Mmmm" she moaned slightly. He took her earlobe between his lips and kissed it with such tenderness that it sent shivers through her entire body. Robin slowly turned to face him and cupping his face, captured his lips with her own. Running her hand over his chest, she gave him a feline smile as she rolled his nipples between her thumb and forefinger.

"Holy…" he sighed as he felt his stomach tighten. Threading his hands through her hair he pulled her closer to him, deepening their kiss. Fumbling, Robin reached into his shaving kit and pulled out a condom, sheathing him quickly, lowered herself down on top of him. He gripped her hips as he set their rhythm. As he felt her tighten around him, Patrick was incapable of any conscious thought other than he loved being with her.

Robin fell against him, breathless. Patrick kissed her gently, stroking her hair. "Morning" he mumbled.

"I'll say" she murmured into his shoulder. She slid off of him and snuggled against him.

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

They lay like that for nearly half an hour until her alarm for her meds began to ring. Robin began to move out of his arms. "Shh. I'll get them" Patrick said, getting up from bed and pulling on his pants.

"Patrick, you don't…."

He looked back at her lying naked in his bed and smiled. "You order some breakfast for us and I'll just pop next door – they're in your bathroom, right?"

Robin studied his face. Just when she least expected it, he would do something like this and throw her off balance. She nodded and watched as he picked up her purse and fished her key from it. He winked at her as dashed out the door to her room next door.

She rolled over onto her back. "What am I doing?" she said out loud, covering her face with her hands. Unwilling to think too much about it in the afterglow of their morning, Robin reached for the room service menu and placed an order for them.

Just as she hung up, Patrick came back in the room, carrying her meds bag. He passed it to her and pulled two bottles of orange juice from the mini bar. Passing her one, he sat down on the edge of the bed and ran his fingers through her hair. He stared at her, taking in the small details of her face and her body like he was trying to freeze the moment in time.

"What?" she asked shyly as she downed the last of her pills.

"You're beautiful" he said thickly. Robin blushed. "And that you do that, only makes you more beautiful."

Robin smiled and untucking her legs, got off the bed and headed to the bathroom. She reemerged wearing a fluffy hotel robe.

"Why did you cover up?" he said, draining his juice.

"Breakfast will be here any minute and I don't know that the waiter will appreciate the show."

Patrick stood up and kissed her forehead. "Actually I think he would, so better that you've covered up." 

Just on cue there was knock at their door. Robin narrowed her eyes as Patrick went to answer the door. She was confused – every time she was sure she had figured out what they were to each other, there would be a moment between them that made her think things were not what they seemed.

The waiter wheeled in the breakfast table and Patrick had him set it up on the balcony. He peeled off a few euros and pressed them into his hand. He changed quickly from his pants into a pair of shorts and joined Robin on the balcony. She poured coffee for them and passed him a pastry.

"So" he said.

"So" Robin echoed.

"Bar dancing?"

"Fireman carry?"

Patrick smiled. "What sessions are you going to today?"

Robin raised an eyebrow at the sudden change in subject. "Not sure. I thought I might surf this morning and catch a couple of presentations this afternoon – you?"

"Not sure. I'm awfully tempted to work on my tan and just pick up the presentation materials after. Not very responsible of me is it?"

Robin smiled. "Well the new surgical technique stuff isn't until tomorrow, so you could be forgiven."

They stared ahead at the water. Robin picked at her breakfast, her appetite seemingly diminished. Not wanting to look like she was running out, she left enough time elapse to be polite before standing up and going back in the room. She pulled her dress over her head and shoved her g-string and meds into her purse. Picking up her shoes, she walked back to the balcony.

"I'm going to get changed and go surfing. I'll see you later?"

Patrick reached his hand up and pulled her towards him, brushing his lips against her. "Sure. Be safe on the water." Robin smiled before turning to leave.

She had barely made it into her own room before the tears that she had felt brewing began to fall. She was a mess of emotions and unsure of what she should do. Changing into her bikini and a pair of board shorts, she headed down to the beach in the hopes the ocean would work its magic and help her clear her head.

Paddling out from shore, Robin sat on her board letting her legs dangle in the salt water. She thought of all the moments in bed and out that they had shared as an uneasy feeling filled her mind. She was not built for casual relationships and she knew it. It felt like a square peg/round hole phenomenon and it was driving her crazy. She adored Patrick. If she were being completely honest she would have to admit that she loved him and wanted to be with him – only him. Every time she thought of him with someone else it made her sick to her stomach. Despite knowing this she continued in their charade of no strings sex. Was spending time with him so important to her that she would do it completely on his terms?

Only once before in her life had she willing compromised so much of who she was and it nearly cost her everything. Her boyfriend, Jason Morgan, was recovering from a traumatic brain injury that affected his ability to determine right from wrong and to process emotions. He loved Robin, she knew that but he had embarked on a no name sexual relationship with another woman. Carly Benson had wormed her way into Jason's life and continually dragged him into her dramas. The beginning of the end came when she turned up pregnant and asked Jason to claim he was the father. He did so, despite being with Robin. She was forced to endure pitying looks and expressions of sympathy as she pretended her boyfriend had not only had an affair with another woman but was now to be a father to her child.

Once the baby was born, Carly was overcome with post-partum and took off, leaving the child with Robin and Jason. They began to raise Michael as their own and became a family unit. There were two inherent problems with their arrangement – Jason was not Michael's father and Carly came back. Unable to live the lie any longer, Robin revealed Michael's paternity and lost Jason and Sonny in the process but regained her self-respect. She had promised herself at the time, as she sought refuge in Paris, that she would never give up so much of herself again.

Yet here she was. She ignored wave after wave as she sat on her board. Patrick had changed so many things about her. His constant attention forced her to come out of herself more. He made her feel beautiful and desirable in ways she hadn't felt in quite some time. He was her intellectual equal and challenged her at work as well as at home. But it was no longer enough. She had given up enough of who she was without much in return. As she sat under the sun, letting the waves move her about she knew what she had to do.

She caught a couple of breakers before heading back to shore. It was going to be a huge gamble and she steeled herself for the possibility that it wouldn't pay off but having an answer one way or another would have to be enough. 

Returning her board to the rental shop, she walked back to the hotel and stopped as she saw Patrick chatting with a Spanish woman in the lobby. Her stomach dropped as she watched the woman put her hand on his arm. Shaking her head, she walked towards them. She smiled at the woman before turning to Patrick.

"I'm sorry for interrupting" she said. Patrick looked at her quizzically. "But I need to speak with you. Could you please come and find me when you have a chance?"

"You okay?" he asked with concern.

"Yup – I just need to run some things by you." She forced a smile and walked back to the elevators. Her knees were shaking as the elevator doors closed and she was whisked to her room. Robin changed from her surfing gear into a tank top and shorts and sat on her balcony to wait.

Nearly forty minutes later there was knock at her door. Taking a deep breath before opening it, she smiled at Patrick who had a hesitant look on his face. "Come in" she said standing out of the way.

"Robin are you okay? Are you feeling okay?"

"Yes…no….sort of. Let's go on the balcony." Patrick followed her outside and Robin hoped that he couldn't see how badly she was shaking. Following her lead, he sat down on the chair beside hers.

"What's up?" he asked quietly.

"We need to talk about us."

Patrick rolled his eyes. "What about us?"

"I don't think I can keep up with our arrangement any longer. Not to mention I don't think we are being very honest about what our arrangement really is…."

"Our arrangement is no strings sex – no commitments, remember?"

Robin pulled her knees up to her chest. "I do remember except, Patrick, you keep sending me mixed signals and I just…I can't cope with it."

"What do you mean?" he said quietly indignant. "I have always been up front with you about what I was willing to offer."

"Yes you have. You have been unfailingly honest with your words but your actions are another thing." 

He raised his eyebrows. 

Robin looked from his face to the water, and taking a steadying breath, turned back to him. "One minute you are reminding me that we have no attachments, no commitment and then you do boyfriendy things like carrying me out of a bar, getting my meds or threatening to take on airport security. I find it all very confusing." Patrick looked away from her. "I'm not a casual relationship type of person."

He looked up at her. "I know that Robin. I've known that from the beginning but you've also known that I am a casual relationship type of person – so why did you get involved with me?"

Robin licked her lips. "Because I like you. Because I'm attracted to you. Why did you pursue me?"

He gave a small smile. "Because I like you, because I'm attracted to you"

"I'll admit it – I get jealous when I see you with other women and I'm tired of feeling guilty or that I'm failing somehow because I'm jealous. You know, when you're not acting like an asshole you're a pretty amazing guy and there is nothing wrong with me not wanting to share you. And I resent being made to feel like I'm deficient somehow because it bothers me that you go from my bed to flirting with someone else. And you know what? I'm pretty amazing too and you shouldn't be so willing to see me spend time with another man."

Patrick ran his hands through his hair and lowered his head. He took a couple of deep breaths before raising his head to look at her again. "What are you trying to ask me Robin?"

Robin pulled at imaginary lint on her shorts. "Aren't I…isn't what we have enough for you? What more do you need? Are you even the slightest bit interested in being in an exclusive relationship with me?"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Patrick blew out his cheeks and looked at the ground. He felt a sudden flash of anger that she would put him on the spot but he waited until it passed because he knew that she had a right to ask. To a certain extent, he was surprised that it had taken this long for this conversation to occur.

"Robin" he started, surprised to find his voice shaking "I…I think you are more than enough. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a girlfriend. You are bright and gorgeous and sexy as hell. You're kind and…."

"I don't need a listing of my qualities Patrick" she said quietly.

"Fine. If I were interested in an exclusive relationship then it would be with you." He rubbed his hands on his shorts "But the thing is, I can't give you that."

"Can't or won't?" she asked.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes – one implies it's within your control, the other is not."

Patrick closed his eyes. He hated conversations like this. He hated talking about feelings and it struck him as ironic that he had spent more time talking about his feelings – for his father – his patients – women – since he met her than he had ever before. He always knew he was going to hurt her and when he first met her it didn't bother him so much but now it weighed on him.

"Right now, it's can't. I am not capable of a relationship."

"Why not?"

Patrick shot out of his chair. "Damnit Robin – do we really have to do this?"

She tucked her legs underneath her and sat up straight. "Yes we do. In fact – you owe it to me."

He turned to stare at her. "I owe it to you?"

"When you sleep with someone there is a certain amount of respect involved…"

"I have always respected you."

"That's not entirely true. You may have respected me in bed but there were plenty of times, outside of bed, where you treated me like nothing more than a mere annoyance. You seek me out when you're feeling lonely or need someone to talk to. You call me at home to talk through a case – you hijacked my date and carried me out of a bar last night to make…to have sex with me so I have EARNED this conversation."

Patrick opened his mouth and then shut it again. He sat back down and turned his chair to face her. "I am sorry if I ever made you feel like you were less than you are. Robin, I really do think the world of you. You've got a foothold in my life and I'm not anxious for you to let go of it."

"But?"

"But, I really…relationships are just….I don't have what it takes to make a relationship work."

"And what is that? Because Patrick from where I sit, strings or no strings, you and I have had a relationship for a while now."

"My parents had a great, consuming love and I learned a few things watching that. In order for a relationship to work, you have to be willing to accept that it might not. And I don't do failure. Ever." Patrick felt his emotions rising to the surface. There was so much about his parents' marriage that still affected him, often out of the blue.

Robin could see his struggle and had to consciously tell herself not to reach out and touch him. She could not be his source of comfort as he was slowly rejecting her. "What else have you learned?"

"That for a relationship to be successful you need to be willing to put the needs of another person ahead of your own."

"Is that such a terrible thing to do?"

He shook his head. "No" he whispered "But I'm an inherently selfish person and I have not yet reached the point in my life where I can think of anyone else. How terrible would it be if I entered a relationship with someone…..if I entered a relationship with you and the first time you needed me I couldn't or wouldn't respond because it wasn't convenient for me? To live with the knowledge that I disappointed or failed you – that would be more than I could take."

It was Robin's turn to stand up. The balcony was small and seemed to be closing in on them as the conversation got bigger and bigger. "Are you so afraid of failing that you're unwilling to even try?" Patrick looked at her mutely. "What if you brought that kind of attitude into the OR? You would only do the procedures that you absolutely knew – you would never try anything remotely innovative to save a patient."

"Are you trying to talk me into something?"

"No, I guess I'm wondering why you're trying so hard to talk yourself out of something."

"I wish you wouldn't push so much"

"And I wish you would try. I wish you felt that I was worth it - worth going out on a limb for."

It felt like razor blades were cutting at his insides – he felt raw. How could he tell her that she was worth going out on a limb for and so much more but that he believed with ever fibre of his being he could never make it work. There was too much pressure with a relationship, with being in love. He had seen the cost that his father paid and he was unwilling to sign up for it. She didn't even know that he had seen some of the cost that she had paid and he marveled at her willingness to dive back in. If he had gone through even half of what had survived, he wouldn't touch another relationship for anything.

"Robin, I…I can't tell you your worth" She raised her eyebrows. "I can't because .." he shook his head. "Robin I've never met anyone like you – you have so much – you deserve more than I can offer you."

Robin swallowed hard, trying desperately to will the tears, pooling in her eyes, away. The last thing she wanted was for him to see her cry. Especially crying about him. "Okay" she said thickly.

"Okay?"

"Okay. If you don't want me or can't be in a relationship with me then fine." She was unwilling to fight anymore, not if he couldn't meet her halfway.

Patrick stood up and walked towards her. He cupped her face in his hands. "You need to understand, Robin" he looked deeply into her eyes. "That it's not that I don't want you. Don't ever doubt for a minute how attracted I am to you – I want you more than you'll ever know." He kissed her forehead. Robin closed her eyes and drank in the feeling of his lips against her skin, knowing it would be the last time she would have that. "So what do we do now?" he asked.

Robin gently pulled away from him. "I guess we try and be friends."

Patrick gave a small smile. "I was hoping you'd say that because I'm not sure if I'm ready to not have you in my life at all."

Robin smiled back. "But I need a few ground rules."

"Like?"

"You can't flirt with me Patrick or call me in the middle of the night because you're lonely. The truth is you can't underestimate how attracted I am to you and I'll never be able to move on if you keep pulling me back." Patrick opened his mouth to reply but Robin raised her hands. "If you respect me, you'll do this."

He nodded. "Anything else?"

"Please don't throw your new women in my face. I want you to be happy but I don't necessarily want to watch a play by play of it."

"Okay. But can we do things together? Like have dinner or go for coffee?" He sounded very much like a young boy whose best friend was moving away.

Robin pulled at her bottom lip. "I'd like that" she whispered.

Patrick pulled her into his arm and rested his chin on the top of her head. "I'm sorry" he said quietly. "More than you know"

Robin nodded against his chest before pulling away. "I..um..I need to get changed for the afternoon sessions."

He pursed his lips together. "Okay – I'll see you later."

"Bye" she said with a small wave.

Robin watched as the door closed behind him before walking back in the room. She lay down on the floor and stared up at the ceiling. It had been a very grown up, rational conversation and it had hurt like hell. 

Patrick dragged himself into his room feeling like he had just gone 12 rounds with a heavyweight. Though he knew this day was coming he hadn't expected to feel so empty at the end of it all. He was still confused about his feelings for Robin but was sure that he couldn't be the man she needed. Grateful that she had agreed to remain friends, it still felt like a loss. Finding someone to have sex with was never a problem for him but she was the first person who had been the package deal for him – kind, caring and generous in bed and out.

He flopped onto his bed and looked up the slowly oscillating ceiling fan. They had arrived at the right decision. He knew that she couldn't really deal with a casual relationship and he was beginning to catch glimpses of the toll it was taking on her. The last thing he ever wanted was hurt her, even though he knew he would. 

But if was the right decision, then why did it hurt so damn much? 


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Patrick lay on his bed for nearly an hour before finally getting up. He had no interest in checking out the rest of conference sessions – his head just wasn't in it. Walking down to the lobby, he hailed a taxi outside the hotel and asked to be dropped in the centre of town. Getting out by the docks, he walked inside the walled city and thought he had walked into the middle of a time warp. Everything outside the wall was sleek and modern, everything inside the wall looked like it had been frozen in the time of ancient Greece. He walked up the hill to the cathedral. From the top, he was able to see the entire city and out over the ocean. Buying a bottle of water from the vendor, he sat on the retaining wall and stared at the sparkling water.

_"Can't or won't?" _

Robin's words echoed in his ears. She had implied that it was a choice for him to be in a relationship or not but he really felt that it was out of his hands. He could pinpoint the moment when he knew that he would never fall in love. His mother had been suffering for months with a brain tumor and none of the conventional treatments, chemotherapy and radiation had worked. None of the surgeons in Manhattan would consider operating on her as the procedure was too delicate and with a high failure rate. Without the surgery, his mother had only weeks to live. His father, at the time, a renowned and much sought after neurosurgeon had agreed to attempt the procedure because his wife asked him to. He fought both the medical ethics and the hospital board for the right to perform the surgery. Patrick had been terrified about her dying. He had always believed the next treatment was going to make the difference. He became her personal cheerleader, prodding her to believe that she could survive, that a miracle was just around the corner. Patrick had been nervous when his father had announced he would be performing the surgery. His mother, Mattie had reassured him telling him his father was the very best there was. 

"This could be our miracle Patty" she told him before she was taken into the OR. "Your dad is a genius."

It was the last time he saw his mother. The surgery proved to be too much for his mother's frail body and she died on the table. His father walked from the OR to the nearest bar without even stopping to tell him that his mother had died; he left that task to one of his assistant surgeons. He spent the next decade watching his father engage in a delicate destruction. Alcoholism took over his life and he cut everyone, including Patrick out. The disappointment of missed birthdays and holidays, his father's absence from his both his university and medical school graduation cemented for him the idea that love meant annihilation and the survivor in him would have none of it.

If he thought himself capable of love, he knew that he would be in love Robin. She turned his life upside down and he liked it. She aggravated him, annoyed him and demanded more of him than almost anyone had in recent memory. She was the type of girl you would be proud to bring home to your parents. The only problem was that he wasn't the type of guy who brought girls home. 

Patrick only caught glimpses of Robin over the remaining two days of the conference. Every time he did see her, she was engaged in conversation with other delegates. He on the other hand had taken to avoiding all the social situations. He spent his evenings walking the beach trying to put some order in the jumble of feelings tossing around in his head. The irony that Robin was out socializing while he was closing himself off was not lost on him. He admired her resilience and wondered where his was. 

He was packing the last of things when he heard the knock on his door. Opening it, he couldn't suppress the smile when he saw Robin.

"Hey" he said softly.

Robin bit at her lip, her tell tale sign of nervousness. "Hey – are you packed?"

He nodded. "Just finishing up."

"I was..uh…do you want to share a taxi to the airport – you know..since we're on the same flight and all?"

Patrick smiled. "Sure. Are you all packed?"

"Yup – my stuff is ready to go."

"Okay – just give me five minutes and I'll meet you in the lobby."

"Okay" she said, turning away from the door.

Robin wheeled her suitcase down to the lobby. She had barely seen Patrick since their talk on the balcony. She refused to call it a break up because they hadn't been together or at least wouldn't admit to being together. She assumed he had found plenty of company among the more beautiful delegates and had been fully occupied. She tried not to let it bother her but it did. She envied his ability to move on and wished she had more of it. Standing in the marble lobby she resolved to be more like Patrick. She needed to move on without looking back and would find away to do so sooner rather than later. She would let go of her traditional habit of burying herself in her work and would go out more, meet more people and see if that brought any change to her luck.

She could sense him before she saw him and turned around. "Ready?"

"Sure."

The taxi driver loaded their bags into his car and drove them by the water to the airport. Patrick watched as Robin kept her eyes glued to the ocean.

"You really like the water don't you?"

"I love it."

"How come?"

She turned and looked at him, surprised by the sincerity in his eyes. She shrugged slightly. "I don't know entirely. I think it brings me a sense of peace – it's a connection to the world around. I also find it humbling – any time I'm feeling like my problems are too big to deal with, the ocean is a good reminder of how small I really am."

Patrick pursed his lips together and nodded. He was going to ask her another question but the car pulled up at the airport, saving him. They checked in and had only a short wait before they boarded their plane. Once again they were seated next to each other. They hadn't actually spoken since the taxi and while it wasn't an uncomfortable silence it was quite possibly the longest they had ever gone without speaking.

The plane was airborne and Patrick was reclining in his seat when he felt his elbow being nudged. Opening his eyes, he stifled a laugh as Robin pushed a napkin towards him. She had started a game of Tic Tac Toe on it.

"You know" he said marking an o "it's a tactical error to always choose the middle square"

"Says you. I'll have you know I was the Tic Tac Toe champion of my dorm at Yale" Robin marked her square.

Patrick scoffed. "Yes but we all know that Yale is a poor excuse for higher education" he teased. They went back and forth marking squares until Patrick drew a line through three Os.

Robin dropped her pen. "How did you do that?"

"I keep telling you I'm a genius and you keep ignoring me. Rematch?"

"Fine."

"And I get to go first."

"Whatever" she said rolling her eyes.

After Patrick beat her for the fifth time, Robin downed her pen. "Forget it. My ego can't take much more."

"We should have played for money – I'd be rich."

"Tic Tac Toe for money?"

"How do you think I paid for med school?"

"Hmm- the trust fund left by your grandfather the Senator?"

Patrick tilted his head. He had never talked to her about his grandfather or his trust fund. "How do you know about that?" 

"Your family name was pretty famous even before you got a hold of it. Port Charles is a small town and not much happens that isn't talked about." Robin looked at him, narrowing her eyes. "Sorry – did I make you uncomfortable?"

He shook his head. "No. It's just odd to hear anyone reference the Senator."

"The Senator? Don't you mean your grandfather?"

"No trust me – he was the Senator. So what shall we play next" he asked changing the subject "Hangman?"

"Please. You don't know enough words to play" she joked.

"Anyone ever tell you that you're a brat?"

"All the time" she smiled. She was relieved that they were finding their way to normalcy.

Eventually they both fell asleep. Robin woke up at one point, horrified that her head had nestled into his shoulder. Lifting her head, she saw that Patrick was still asleep. She fluffed her pillow and placed it against the window as far away from him as she could. 

They had just cleared customs when Patrick turned to her. "Wanna share a cab?"

"Sure" she said smiling, trying to smooth her ponytail. They stood on the escalator as they descended to the main floor when Robin finally stood up straight and started to wave like a maniac. "Oh my god!" she said. 

Patrick followed her gaze and furrowed his brow as he saw Bruce Harris standing at the bottom of the escalator.

Robin scampered down the steps as she launched herself into his arms. "What the heck are you doing here?"

"Thought I would be your one person welcoming committee" he said kissing both of her cheeks.

Patrick froze for a second before regaining his composure. "I'll see you later Robin" he said touching her arm.

"Oh hey, Dr. Drake – Robin and I would be pleased to give you a ride home" Bruce offered.

"Robin and I?" he thought to himself. "Since when did they become Robin and I?"

"No thanks – I'm at the opposite end of town from Robin. Thanks for the offer. Later Robin" he said, hiking his carry on bag over his shoulder.

"Okay" Robin felt a sudden change in mood around her. "I'll see you at work?" 

Patrick nodded and disappeared out the front doors to the taxi stand.

"I can't believe you came to pick me up" Robin said excitedly.

"Consider it payback for all the times I forced you to take the metro to Charles De Gaulle to meet me"

"Yes you considered it uncivilized to arrive home with no one to greet you, if I recall."

"Exactly." He picked up her suitcase and took her to his car. He dropped her at her apartment and carried her bag to her door before wishing her goodnight.

The next morning, Robin made the walk to Kelly's for her usual coffee run. She had another two days before she needed to be back to work. It would give her enough time to get over the jet lag and write up her notes on the conference.

"Hey Lulu!" she said walking into the diner.

"Hey Robin, how was Turkey?"

"Greece."

"Whoops. How was Greece?"

"It was great – got some surfing in between presentations."

"Sounds cool"

"Your usual?"

"If by that you mean an extra hot extras strong coffee – bring it on"

Lulu smiled and went off to fill her order. She had just passed the coffee to Robin when Robin turned and walked straight into Patrick.

"Oh my god" she said quickly "I'm so sorry"

Looking down at Robin, Patrick smiled. "It's okay, I don't think I'm scalded."

Robin grimaced. "Your shirts cost more than my shoes – I could never afford to replace it"

"Please" he scoffed "Your shoes could feed a small nation"

"It's hard to be fashionable when you're this small" she protested "High heels cost more"

"Sure thing Scorpio. What are you doing here, besides trying to pour your coffee on me?"

She blushed slightly. "Just getting some coffee to go."

Patrick licked his lip. "Would you, uh, do you want to have some breakfast with me?"

"Oh I'd really like to but I promised Bruce I'd meet him at Stella's – they have an awesome breakfast."

"Oh, okay, another time"

"Do you want to join us?"

"Uh, no thanks. I'm just craving some diner food."

"Okay then. See you later"

"Yup, later" he said as he watched her walk out the door.

"Sucks to be you" came the voice from behind.

He turned and saw Lulu Spencer grinning at him. "Shouldn't you be at home playing with dolls or something."

"Maybe but at least mine aren't inflatable."

Patrick rolled his eyes. "Coffee please" he said tightly, turning his attention back to the door.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"Good morning Patrick" Robin said as she approached the Nurses Station on her first day back to work.

"Good morning Robin" he said, smiling at her.

Witnessing the cordial exchange, Epiphany approached the two doctors. "What the hell is going on?"

They both looked up in surprise. "What do you mean?" Robin asked.

"You two" she said pointing back and forth between them. "You're being polite and kind with each other. What's wrong?"

Patrick smiled and looked at Robin before looking back at Epiphany. "Nothing's wrong – we just said good morning."

"Yes but that was a normal good morning – normally it's either laced with innuendo or frustration but it's never just nice."

Patrick and Robin both laughed. "Epiphany" Robin said reassuringly "Everything is fine."

"Mmm-hmm" she replied, unconvinced. "Well make sure it stays that way. Don't forget about the all staff meeting at 11 am in the lecture room"

"Okay." Patrick looked at Robin. "See you later?"

"Sure – do you um, want to go for a coffee later?"

Patrick gave her a small smile. "Sure – so long as you promise not to spill it on me."

Robin slapped his arm. "Jerk" she teased before walking away.

The doctors and nurses crowded into the lecture room. Robin sat at the back with Kelly and Lainey.

"What is Sonny Corinthos doing here?" Kelly asked.

Robin looked down at the front and was surprised to see him sitting there. They had been friends once, close friends but circumstances and choices put an enormous amount of distance between them – physical and emotional. She also knew that as the head of Port Charles' crime family he was not the most welcome person at the hospital so his presence was made all the more curious by the fact that he was deep in conversation with Alan.

"He's kind of hot in a bad boy type of way". Robin and Lainey both stared at Kelly with their mouths open.

"Oh god, Kel – you need to get out and meet some better men" Lainey replied quickly.

Robin nodded in agreement. "Really Kelly, I think we might have to Dr. Phil you on this one."

"What? All I said is he's kind of sexy"

"Who's sexy?" Patrick said as he sat down beside Lainey.

"No one" Kelly said quickly.

Lainey turned to Patrick. "Kelly was just expounding on the virtues of bad boys. Care to add anything?" she asked sweetly.

He raised his eyebrows as Robin started to snicker. "Nothing to add Lainey – I'm not a bad boy."

Kelly and Lainey turned to Robin. "Is that true Rob?"

"No comment" she said staring straight ahead, trying not to laugh.

"Thanks Robin – not feeling the love"

"Shh – Alan is about to start" she chided trying to get out of a sticky situation. 

Alan called everyone to attention. "Colleagues, thank you so much for taking time out of your schedules to join me here this morning. I have some wonderful news that I know will be of great interest to you all. It is with great pleasure that I announce the return of the General Hospital Nurses Ball" Alan had barely got the words out when the room erupted in applause. "Okay. Let me finish. The ball will be held in one month's time in the ballroom of the MetroCourt hotel. The funds raised will be split between AMFAR and GH's Stone Cates Memorial AIDS wing. I am also exceptionally pleased to announce that Mr. Sonny Corinthos has offered to underwrite the entire cost of the ball meaning that 100 of the money raised will reach the two groups."

Robin sat back in her chair and exhaled. No matter the distance between her and Sonny, they would always be anchored by memories of Stone. She was just glad that he had remembered.

"Now before you all leave here to start planning your performances" Alan continued "There is one more announcement that I would like to make. The Board of Directors has unanimously voted to present its Distinctive Service award to Dr. Robin Scorpio in recognition of all the work and fundraising she has done to raise awareness for HIV/AIDS. The award will be presented at the Nurses Ball."

Robin's mouth fell open in shock. Lainey and Kelly both squealed and started patting her shoulders. Other colleagues turned around to offer their congratulations. Patrick couldn't tear his eyes from Robin's face and was the only one who saw that she was less than thrilled about Alan's announcement.

She stood up. "I should, um, go talk, er, say hello to Sonny" she said, smoothing out her skirt. Patrick watched her descend the steps, smiling in recognition of people's congratulations.

"So Patrick" Kelly said turning to him "Can we expect you to take the stage at the Nurses Ball?"

He shook his head. "Uh, no. I'm a cheque writer not a performer. Excuse me" he said getting up and heading back to his office.

Robin walked towards Sonny who smiled broadly at her and took her in his arms. "Sonny, thank you for doing this."

"I miss you" he said into her ear. "And I miss him"

Robin broke their embrace but kept hold of his hands. "I miss him too" she said, her eyes filling with water. "And I miss being able to talk about him with you"

Sonny kissed her cheek. "Maybe this can be a fresh start?"

Robin smiled. "I'd like that."

"Okay then. We'll talk soon" Robin nodded before leaving to seek refuge in her lab. 

She was sitting in her chair, lost in thought, when a knock at the door pulled her from her fog. Patrick walked in brandishing two coffees.

"Hey" he said, passing one to her.

"Hey – delivered coffee? I am spoiled" she said lightly.

"So a Nurses Ball?" he said, settling into the chair across from her.

"Yeah – it should be lots of fun. Everyone gets so into it. Some of the performances are hysterical. Are you thinking of performing?"

Patrick scoffed. "Hard as this may be to believe but I actually don't have any artistic talent outside of the OR."

Robin smiled. "I think I've heard you attempt to sing in the car and I would agree"

"My dad plays guitar though, so who knows, maybe he'll get up there and do some kind of AC/DC cover song" Patrick began to shudder.

"I think I would pay a lot of money to see that!"

Patrick took a long sip of his coffee. "You seemed a little less than thrilled about the award they're going to give you."

"Picked up on that did you?" Robin grinned. "It just kind of came out of the blue."

"But something about it bugs you, what is it?"

Robin ran her hand through her hair. "Well, I just don't know why I'm getting it, that's all."

"Didn't Alan say something about all your work in the field?"

Robin exhaled. "But that's the thing – I've given a lot of speeches over time, including at the Nurses Ball and I've done some fundraising but nothing that I've done should qualify me for a distinctive service award."

"Well maybe you've done more than you think you have" he offered.

"I'm not trying to be humble Patrick."

"Then what's bothering you?"

Robin bit her lip and fidgeted with her pen on her desk. "It just feels like I'm getting an award because I have HIV rather than because I've done great things for the cause."

"Ah" he said, unsure of what else to say.

"I don't want to be rewarded for living with HIV for 10 years or be rewarded for not having died yet."

Patrick flinched slightly at her words. "Well, what about refusing the award?"

Robin smiled. "I can't. I know enough about how these things work that it would cause the hospital no end of embarrassment if I did that."

"So you're willing to live with personal embarrassment to save the hospital? That's twisted"

Robin gave him an indignant look. "Patrick, this is my hometown – where I grew up. The majority of the Board of Directors have known me since I was a child and have watched me grow up and where there when I was diagnosed with HIV. Alan was the doctor who told me. So as uncomfortable as this may be for me, I cannot throw it back in their faces."

Patrick held up his hands. "I meant no offense Robin. I'm sure you'll do the right thing – you always do."

"What does that mean?"

Patrick shook his head. "I didn't come here for a fight and as we seem to be hurtling down the fast track to one, I'm just going to go" he said standing up and heading to the door.

Robin watched him leave before slamming her hands down on the desk. "Dammit" she said under her breath. 

She hadn't meant to pick a fight with him but she had never been very good at channeling her anger and it tended to pop out in the most untimely ways. She wasn't angry with Patrick, she was angry with herself. The award was a great honour and she should be gracious in accepting it but the idea of it made her uncomfortable. She had a month to come up with the right speech, to say the right things. And that's when it hit her. Realization dawned that her discomfort stemmed from the idea that once again she would have to say the right things, the things that would make everyone else comfortable with the fact that she was HIV . 

Patrick walked to the locker room and kicked at his locker. He had tried to be comforting to her and had screwed it up. He had always thought he was powerless to comfort another person and this just proved it again.

"What did that poor locker ever do to you?"

"Elizabeth" Patrick said flatly.

"Gee, don't seem so happy to see me."

"Should I be?"

"What's the matter – run out of your favourite hair gel this morning?" she asked sarcastically.

The tone of her voice forced him to look up and he started to laugh. "Sorry – you caught me in a moment."

"Evidently. So what's wrong between you and Robin now?"

He did a double take. "What makes you think it involves Robin?"

"Oh please Patrick. Robin is under your skin so deeply, there's no getting rid of her and therefore most of your moods, good and bad, involve her. So did you screw up again?"

He exhaled. "No" he was emphatic in his response. "Robin and I are opting to remain friends since I can't give her what she wants."

"Which is?"

"An exclusive relationship"

Elizabeth looked at Patrick, studying his face. It was clear from his eyes that he was putting on a brave front, that he was hurt over the change in their relationship. "Chicken."

"Pardon?"

"You heard me"

"Thanks Liz, your support is heartwarming."

She walked over and stood in front of him. "You can spend the next few months bemoaning the fact that you don't have her or you could actually try and do something about it."

He shook his head. "I can't. I will only hurt her."

"Patrick, how stupid do you think I am?" He raised his eyebrows "On second thought don't answer that." He smiled at her. "When are you going to clue in to the fact that you're not worried about hurting Robin."

"You're wrong Liz – I know I'll hurt and I don't want that – she deserves more."

"You're not worried about hurting her" she repeated "You're terrified that she'll hurt you." 


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Feeling badly about the fight she picked with Patrick, Robin went in search of him. She found him in front of the OR board, checking the surgeries for the day.

"Looks like you have a light day" she said moving to stand beside him.

"Yup" he said still staring at the board.

"So, um…I was a bit of jerk back there"

Patrick turned to look at her. "You're entitled to feel how you want and I should have just keep my mouth shut."

"No – I'm glad you came by. I'm having a massive craving for a cheeseburger and was wondering if I could persuade you to join me at Kelly's for dinner?"

A small smile began to form at the corners of his mouth. "Will there be bacon involved with these cheeseburgers?"

"If you want"

"And you're paying right?"

Robin rolled her eyes. "Yes tightwad, I'll spring for the burgers."

"Then you're on. I should be done around 6 – meet you there?"

"Sounds good" Robin turned to walk away before turning back "And Patrick?" He looked up. "Thanks for coming to check on me."

He winked at her before turning back to the board. He wasn't actually reading the board; he was hoping that if he stared at it long enough, he could get Liz's words out of his head. She was wrong. No woman had ever hurt Patrick Drake and no woman was going to. Shaking his head, he was stunned at how he seemed to be licking wounds he wasn't even aware he had. It was time for him to get back in the game. Robin and he would never be more than friends and he was not one for a monk's life. He needed a distraction – a nurse, a lawyer, a bike courier – it didn't matter. He just needed to get his mind off Robin and back where it belonged.

Robin was relieved as she walked back towards her lab. She had been unsure in Greece whether she and Patrick would be capable of being friends but was beginning to believe they had a real shot at it. He had sought her out to check on her, there had been no hidden agenda, no attempt to flirt with her, just genuine concern. She liked having him as a friend. He knew her in ways that some of her closer friends didn't and it allowed her to be honest with herself and with him. Now if only she could find a way to quell her attraction to him, everything would be perfect. She couldn't help herself, every time she was around him, breathing in his scent, staring into his eyes, her stomach would flop. He was simply the most beautiful man she had ever seen. 

Robin checked her watch for the third time before Patrick came skidding through the door. "I'm so sorry I'm late. My father asked me for a consult" he said sliding into the chair across from her.

"No worries. How is your dad?"

"Fine" he said, picking up the menu.

"Mmm-hmm" she said recognizing his attempt to avoid the subject. "And how are things between you and Noah?"

Patrick looked up. "Any chance you're going to drop the subject?"

"Nope"

He sighed. "Things are okay if we limit our conversations to work or sports. Any time we venture outside of that things get dicey."

"Patrick, he's trying"

Patrick stared over her shoulder before bringing his eyes back to hers. "I know he is Robin but it doesn't make everything go away like that" he snapped his fingers.

She gave him a small smile. "Baby steps" Lulu approached to take their order. "Hey Lu – how's it going?"

She rolled her eyes. "You know. Stuck working in a greasy diner with the wife of the boy I have a thumping crush on – terrific."

Patrick looked up at the teenager "A simple, fine thank you would have done"

"I'm sorry – did you want me to spit in your food?"

"Do I have to pay extra for that?"

"Nah- it's just one of the many services we offer here at Big Bertha's House of Pancakes" she said sarcastically.

"You're weird" he countered.

"I'm 17 – what's your excuse?"

Robin raised her hands. "If Abbott and Costello are done getting in the way of me ordering a cheeseburger…"

Lulu smiled. "Sorry Robin – let me guess – cheeseburger, fries and chocolate shake?"

"Yes please."

"And for you?" she turned her attention to Patrick.

"Same please." 

Patrick smiled as he watched Robin dive into her food. She looked up with her mouth full. "What?" she mumbled.

"Nothing – you are just a sight to behold. I've never seen anyone enjoy food as much as you do."

She smiled self-consciously as she tried to swallow down her food. "Thanks." She wiped her mouth with her napkin. "Listen, I just wanted to tell you again that I'm sorry I was short with you in my lab."

"It's fine Robin."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Why doesn't it scare you?" 

"What?" he asked

"Me having HIV"

"Should it?"

Robin shrugged. "I don't know. But almost everyone in my life treats me differently because of it. They try not to but they either over react if I get a sniffle or they treat me like I'm fine china. I've never been fragile but I sure do get treated that way – a lot."

Patrick twirled a french fry around on his plate. "Maybe it's because I didn't know you before you had HIV. My only frame of reference where you're concerned is you kicking in the door to the OR and ordering me to work on Jason."

Robin laughed. "I hardly kicked in the door."

Patrick smiled. "Fine – however it happened, you certainly didn't come across as fragile. Robin, I'm not scared of you having HIV. I worry about you at times but I'm not scared."

"Why are you so different than everyone else?"

"Because I'm a spectacular human being?" he offered lightly as they both laughed. "Robin, I don't think the question should be 'why am I not scared' I think the question should be what is everyone else so afraid of?"

She let out a deep breath. "A question for the ages, I'm sure."

Patrick was about to ask her another question when her cell phone rang. Robin apologetically flipped it open.

"Hey Bruce….are you in the City….no?…..sure I'd be happy to see you. Why don't you come by around 9?…..see you then."

"Hot date?" Patrick asked, trying to keep the disappointment from his voice.

"Not really – Bruce got his campaign materials and he wants to show them to me."

"Campaign materials?"

She nodded. "Yup –he's running for the Senate. He'll be brilliant! He is just so smart and politically astute."

Patrick faked a smile. "Great."

He offered to walk her home at the end of dinner but she insisted she was quite capable of making her home unaccompanied. Patrick shrugged and walked back to the hospital to pick up his car. 

Robin had just changed into her jeans and Yale t-shirt when she heard the knock at her door. She opened it, revealing Bruce smiling like a Cheshire cat.

"Well if it isn't the future Senator Harris" she teased.

He walked past her. "From your lips to the voters' ears"

She gave him a big hug. "How are you?"

"Great! How about you?"

"Getting back into the swing of work. Alan announced that they'll be doing the Nurses Ball again as a fundraiser." Robin walked to the kitchen and poured them both a glass of wine.

"I heard that at the board meeting. Sounds like it will be a lot of fun."

She passed him his glass. "Then you also heard I'm getting an award."

He smiled. "And well deserved too!"

Robin smiled weakly. Add Bruce to the list of people who just didn't get it. "So let's see all your stuff that's going to make you the next Senator!"

He opened his briefcase and pulled out a binder full of samples of posters, buttons, flyers and pamphlets. Robin offered her opinion freely and he was grateful for the feedback.

"We make a pretty good team, you and I" he said, nudging her shoulder.

"We always have" she said smiling back.

Bruce stared at her before swiftly moving in and pulling her lips into his. Slowly letting go he sat back and waited for her reaction.

"Uh…wow" she said, shocked.

He smiled. "I've always had a crush on you Robin."

"What about Marian?"

"I loved her but I have always been attracted to you. And once I found out you were in town, it made taking the board job, much more attractive."

Robin shook her head, trying to grasp what was happening. "Are you saying…"

"I like you….a lot" He leaned in and kissed her again.

This time, aware of what was happening, Robin cupped the back of his head and returned his kiss. She didn't feel the electricity coursing through her that she did when Patrick just grazed her lips but it was nice. 


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Bruce leaned in, deepening the kiss, pushing Robin against the couch. Robin threaded her hands through his hair and sighed against his mouth. He fingered the hem of her shirt but Robin gently pushed him back.

"Easy there cowboy."

"What's the matter?" he asked breathlessly, stroking her face.

"Bruce – we need to slow down a little."

He sat up. "I know about your HIV, Robin."

She gave him a quizzical look. "Good, considering how I told you about it in Paris but that's not why we need to slow down."

"Sorry" he said sheepishly.

She tucked her hair behind her ears before putting a hand on his leg. "I like you Bruce but I've never thought about you like that."

His face fell. "Oh."

Robin smiled. "That doesn't mean I won't or I don't but the entire time I knew you, you were with Marian and I just didn't let my head go there. Can we perhaps, I don't know, date a little before we…"

"Get naked?"

"Exactly."

"Of course – I was just…overcome by you."

Robin blushed slightly. "That's nice to hear" she giggled.

"I should go and let you get your beauty sleep – not that you need it."

She rolled her eyes. "I'll talk to you tomorrow." Robin walked him to the door and opened it.

Bruce turned and nipped at her lips, before drawing Robin up against him. "Good night Robin" he said huskily.

"Good night Bruce" 

Closing the door, she leaned against it, fingering her lips. Bruce's sudden admission of feelings had caught her by surprise. She was telling the truth – she had never thought of him like that but the attention was nice. They had been good friends in Paris and had spent a lot of time together but rarely alone. They went to gallery openings, cocktail parties and the ballet but always as escorts. A few dates with him would help her figure out her own feelings for him.

Patrick whistled as he walked off the elevator. "Someone is in a good mood" Epiphany remarked.

"Indeed I am. I am finally recovered from the jet lag –I had a good night's sleep – I'm ready for a new day."

The nurse raised her eyebrow and shook her head.

"Excuse me, Nurse Johnson?"

"Yes Dr. Sheen?"

"Dr. Quartermaine told me that you would might have the test results for Mr. Graham?"

"Sorry doctor, they aren't back from the lab."

Patrick watched the exchange. Anne Sheen was an oncologist that he had seen at staff meetings and had consulted with on a few occasions but didn't really know. She was almost as tall as he was with short, blonde hair.

"Dr. Sheen, I'm heading down to the lab myself if you'd like some company?"

Anne looked over at Patrick and smiled. "That's very kind Dr. Drake"

He walked towards her "Please, it's Patrick."

She absently tucked her hair behind her ear. "Then I'm Anne"

"Great Anne, let's go see if we can light a fire under the lab guys" he said as they walked to the elevator. 

Epiphany shook her head again and sighed. Some lessons were harder to learn than others. 

Robin was just collecting her charts at the Nurses Station when Kelly and Lainey tag teamed her.

"Oh Robin" Lainey sang.

Robin looked between her two friends. "Why do I sense some kind of trouble?"

"We have an idea for a performance at the Ball." Kelly added.

"Uh-uh. No way. Not going to happen."

"We haven't even asked you yet." Lainey whined.

"Save your breath – I am not performing. Find another monkey for your show" she said waving her hand.

"Come on" Kelly pleaded.

"Not a chance."

Both women exchanged looks and shrugged "Okay" Lainey said "but will you at least come for drinks tonight and we can tell you our idea?"

Robin looked warily at her friends. "Fine but don't think you can get me drunk and talk me into anything."

"Well there goes plan b" Kelly mumbled.

"What time are drinks?"

"7?"

"Fine – I'll meet you guys here and we can walk over together?"

"Okay – see ya" Lainey called as she left.

Kelly continued to hover. "Do you need something Kelly?"

Patrick reappeared from the elevators, folding the paper holding Anne's number and depositing it in his coat pocket. He began to rifle through his messages.

"Patrick" Kelly called out.

Patrick looked over at Robin and Kelly and got an uneasy feeling. "Yes?"

"Don't you think it's patently unfair for Robin to refuse to perform in the Nurses Ball without even hearing our idea?"

Robin shot him a pleading look. He gave her one back indicating his support would have a price attached to it. "Well, Kelly" he began "I think it's probably better for you if Robin doesn't perform. I mean, do you really want someone to have to choose between watching you and watching her?"

Kelly tapped her finger against her chin. "Good point. But you're still coming for drinks, right?" she asked Robin.

"Yes – I'll see you back here at the end of shift."

"Thank you" Robin said gratefully after Kelly left.

"Don't thank me yet Scorpio"

She groaned. "How many bacon cheeseburgers is it going to cost me?"

"Oh no – that was a high class save on my part. I'll be expecting to be repaid in kind."

"Fine" she said exaggeratedly "Name your price"

"Hmm – dinner at the Port Charles Grill."

She sighed. "And if I don't pay up?"

"I will sign you up in the talent portion myself."

"Geez, you drive a hard bargain."

"Take it or leave it."

"Grr. I'll take it – do you want to go Friday night?"

"Let me check my schedule and get back to you" he said kindly before heading to the exam room. 

Later in the afternoon, Patrick was signing off charts when Bruce approached the Nurses Station. Carrying a large bouquet of flowers, he laid them on the counter. Patrick looked over.

"Thanks but you're not my type"

Bruce smiled. "Neurosurgeon and comedian too?"

"What can I say – I have many talents" Patrick looked him over, not missing the Harris for Senate lapel pin. He mentally rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure. Have you seen Robin?"

"I believe she went for a late lunch. Flowers for her then?" he said nodding at the bouquet.

"An extraordinary arrangement for an extraordinary woman" he replied.

"I'm not sure when she'll be back – you may want to leave them with her assistant."

"Will do." Bruce started to walk away before turning back. "Dr. Drake….Patrick…Robin may have told you but I'm hoping to be sitting in the Senate after the mid-term elections."

"Good for you" he muttered, unimpressed.

"I was wondering….I mean I have Robin to assist me with these things but I was wondering if I could pick your brain in the coming weeks about issues and challenges facing the health care system. It's a crime the number of uninsured Americans and we simply must make health care more accessible for them – I'm sure you agree"

Patrick leaned against the counter and fully sized up the ambitious young man. "Bruce – the health care system doesn't have challenges or issues – it has problems and weaknesses." He paused. "Unfortunately, I don't think I'm your guy. I am not an administrator – I'm a surgeon. But really, best of luck." He turned on his heel and left.

Enraged at the political doublespeak, Patrick returned to his office and flopped in his chair. Fishing the folded piece of paper from his coat pocket, he dialed the number.

"Anne? It's Patrick…..pretty good day yes. Listen, how would you like to have dinner with me at the MetroCourt? …How does 8 suit you?….Great, I'm looking forward to it" he purred. 

Finished for the day, Patrick headed towards the elevator so he would have plenty of time to shower and change before meeting Anne for dinner. As he approached the elevators, he saw Lainey and Kelly waiting for Robin. Robin had her tongue sneaking out the corner of her mouth as she hurriedly tried to finish her charts. He looked at her and looked back at the elevator before turning to face her one more time. He walked towards her.

"Hey" he said touching her elbow.

She looked up "Oh, Patrick, hi."

"I know you're going out with the girls but can I talk to you for a second?"

Robin looked at him quizzically. "Sure"

"Over here" he said guiding her away from the Nurses station to a far corner. 

"What's up?" she asked, admittedly a little nervous to be standing so close to him.

Patrick licked his bottom lip. "Are you…are you dating that Bruce guy?"

Robin stiffened immediately. "Why?" she said narrowing her eyes.

"Be careful Robin"

"What is that supposed to mean."

"He's a politician."

"Yup thanks – I'm aware of that."

"Robin, he's running for a Senate seat in the City – there's going to be a lot of interest in him."

"I'm not getting your point Patrick" she said impatiently "Do you think he's going to have a bevy of hookers or something?"

He shook his head. He was wishing he had stuck with his first instinct to just get on the elevator. "Robin, the interest in him means that everyone and everything is fair game. I've never told you about my grandfather but I hated that he was a politician. Once I was old enough to realize what was going on, I wanted nothing to do with him. My father, my mother, me – we were nothing but props to him – photos for Christmas cards – for god's sake – my prep school grades were in his freaking newsletter."

"And?" she said icily crossing her arms across her chest.

"All I'm saying is that if you're with him, your life is open for examination too. Everything."

"Is there something in my life I should be embarrassed about?" she asked defensively.

"Not at all" he said with the distinct impression that he was a drowning man. "But I know how you like your privacy – just be careful."

She shook her head. "I knew it was too good to be true. As soon as I start dating someone, there you are trying to sabotage it"

Patrick stepped back. "Why on earth would I want to sabotage it when you've made it perfectly clear that you and I are through?"

"Typical you – you can't have me so you want me to be alone."

Patrick narrowed his eyes. "You won't have me Robin. But we both know that I could have you any time I want"

"Full of yourself much?" she challenged.

Patrick leaned in and opened his mouth over hers before slowly pulling away, taking her bottom lip with him. Instinctively, Robin closed her eyes and arched into him. Her body flush with heat.

When he finally let go of her lip, her eyes flew open. Incensed at his move but more at her reaction, she slapped him across the face. Patrick didn't flinch.

"Stay out of my personal life Patrick" she said before stomping off to join Kelly and Lainey. 


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"God! He is just so infuriating" Robin fumed as the girls walked to Jake's. Kelly and Lainey said nothing as Robin slammed her hands down on the bar. "I mean he be more….I just…GOD!!"

"Coleman, we're going to need some vodka and some Red Bull" Lainey ordered. "Leave us the bottles."

"Sure thing sweetness" Coleman said.

"Could he be a bigger….I just ….I never.. and to think that I…and he…and honestly!!"

Kelly took Robin's hand. "Robin, you've just started about 18 different sentences, are you thinking of finishing any of them?"

Robin stopped and covered her face with her hands. "I'm sorry."

"No no – don't apologize, if we get you vulnerable enough you might agree to perform with us."

Robin laughed. "I will never be that vulnerable"

"You never know" Lainey said passing everyone a Red Bull and vodka.

"So what's going on with you and Doc Hot?" Kelly asked.

"Nothing" Robin said, draining her glass. She passed it to Lainey for a refill, who did so with eyebrows raised.

"Really"

"He's just got his panties in a twist because I'm dating someone else now"

Kelly drained her drink. "Wait, wait, wait Patrick wears panties?"

Lainey and Robin both burst out laughing.

"Um, no" Robin blushed.

"What does he wear?" Lainey asked.

"Girls – can we not talk about Patrick? I'm furious with him"

"And still in love with him"

"Lainey, what do you mean still? I've never said I was in love with him" Robin protested.

"Details, details"

"Shouldn't we be hearing all about your amazing performance idea?" Robin asked, desperate to change the subject.

"We will" Lainey said, refilling everyone's glasses "but first, let's hear about the guy you're dating who isn't Patrick."

Robin rolled her eyes. "It's my friend Bruce"

"Bruce?" Kelly said choking on her drink "Bruce Harris, the new board member?"

"Yeah. He and I knew each other in Paris. Turns out he's had a crush on me for a while"

"Well look at you" Kelly said clinking her glass against Robin's.

Lainey studies at Robin. "How do you feel about him?"

"Stop being a shrink Lainey" Robin chided.

"I will as soon as you tell me how you feel about him."

Robin groaned. "I like him. He's nice and he likes me and we have fun together." 

"But?" Lainey said.

"But nothing" Robin protested.

"But he's not Patrick" Kelly said.

"Yeah, well, Patrick doesn't want to be in a relationship with me" Robin said simply, reaching for the vodka bottle.

"Well then, screw him" Kelly said supportively.

"I already did" Robin giggled. Lainey and Kelly both screamed with laughter. "Okay, enough of this. What is your big idea."

"One word" Kelly said. "Pussycat Dolls"

"Actually, Kel, that's two words"

"Whatever" she said waving her hands. "Anyhoo – Pussycat Dolls Robin – how can you say no?"

"Easy – no."

"Aw come on" Lainey pleaded. "You would look so hot in the cute little outfit and we all know you can dance"

Robin sighed. "Guys, I did my time on that stage and I don't have a lot of desire to revisit it. But you have my full support on this."

"You're really not going to do this with us?" Lainey asked.

"I'm really not. Who are your other victims..I mean costars?"

"Emily and Liz have agreed"

"Maybe we should ask Epiphany" Kelly said straightening up at her own idea.

Lainey reached across and took the vodka bottle from her. "Now I know you're drunk."

The girls animatedly discussed the plan for them to dance to 'Loosen Up Your Buttons' and despite several more tries, they were unsuccessful in convincing Robin to join them. They shared a taxi back to their respective apartments. 

Robin hit the playback on her answering machine.

_Robin – it's your father – having breakfast with me one of these days would be a nice daughterly thing to do._

Robin – hi – it's uh, it's Sonny. I was wondering if you were free for lunch tomorrow – maybe we can catch up. Um, give me a call when you have a chance.

Hey gorgeous girl – it's Bruce. Just calling to say hi and that I'd really like to take you to dinner. Can't wait to hear from you. 

She was surprised to find she was disappointed that there was no message to Patrick. She was choosing to ignore, for the time being, that she had slapped him and ordered him to stay out of her life.

"If I keep eating all my meals out I'm going to get huge" she said to herself as she stripped off her clothes and slid under the covers. Gripping the side of her bed, she prayed for the bed to stop spinning. 

Patrick sat up in bed and watched as Anne picked her clothes from the floor and got dressed. They had enjoyed a nice dinner at the MetroCourt and then Patrick, using his patented Drake charm, had convinced her to join him in his room. Anne hadn't actually taken much convincing. She had flirted quite ably with him and at one point stroked his leg with her foot.

He found her to be an expert lover – almost too expert. While he was sure that she had enjoyed it as much as had he, there was something so very practiced about it. It wasn't that Robin was inexperienced, far from it, but there was something so completely genuine about her reactions to his touch and his reaction to hers that it just felt different with Anne.

She crawled across the bed and kissed him. "Thanks for a fun night" she said.

He kissed her back. "You too. Let me walk you to the door."

"No – you stay where you are – you'll need to rest up. Hopefully we can do it again sometime."

Patrick smiled. "I'll call you." She stopped at the door and gave him a quick wave over her shoulder. He waved back. He sighed as he flopped back on his pillow. He couldn't stop comparing her to Robin. Obviously the only solution for him was to literally screw her out of his system.

He would never admit it to her but he had been quite hurt by her reaction earlier at the hospital. He really had her best interests at heart and if she liked Bruce then who was he to stand in her way. However, he grew up in a political household and knew a little something about the scrutiny and spotlight that went along with it. As well as he knew Robin, he knew that she did not have the personality for that type of life. It was too easy to lose yourself in the desire to live the image. But she was interested in what he had to say and he certainly wasn't going to force his opinions on her. 

Epiphany picked up on the tension between the two doctors from the start of their consult. "Lord give me some strength" she muttered under breath.

"Did you say something Epiphany?" Patrick asked looking up from the chart he and Robin were sharing.

"No Dr. Drake."

Patrick gave her a quizzical look and went back to the chart. "So what is your opinion Dr. Scorpio?"

"Well Dr. Drake, it doesn't appear that the patient would benefit from the drug therapy, or certainly wouldn't benefit enough to warrant delaying surgery."

"That was my opinion as well but I was interested in hearing your thoughts"

"Fine – are we done."

"Yes thank you Dr. Scorpio"

"You're welcome Dr. Drake"

Noah sidled up to Epiphany. "What's going on between them now?"

She looked up. "Like I know" she snorted. "There are NFL playbooks that are less complicated than these two."

"Back on the outs again?" he asked.

"It was a nice day while it lasted."

"Son" Noah said approaching Patrick.

"What?" he said without looking up.

"I was wondering if you'd like to have lunch today?"

Patrick's head snapped up. "Is something wrong?"

"No – I just thought it would be nice if we spent some time together."

He stared at his father. "Fine – Kelly's?"

"Sure – I'll meet you here around 1?"

"Okay" he confirmed before grabbing his charts and heading off for rounds. 

Robin had phoned Sonny when she got up and had agreed to meet him for lunch at Kelly's. He was already there when she came through the door. He stood up and held his arms open. Robin slid into them.

"Hi" she mumbled into his chest.

"Hi Robin" he said as they sat down. "I'm really glad you called back."

She smiled. "Sonny, whatever happened between us in the past, you and I have a bond that won't go away"

He shot her a grateful look. "I could have handled things better."

Robin held up her hands. "Let's just leave it. It was ages ago and we both made choices. I'm interesting in us now."

He leaned in. "You always were gracious."

Lulu came to take their orders. Robin opted for a salad while Sonny had the chili. "Are you excited about the Nurses Ball?" she asked.

"I am – are you?" Robin nodded. "You don't seem excited"

"I'm getting an award" she said simply.

"I heard."

"I just think it's a lot of attention for nothing."

"Robin" he said reaching across the table, putting his hand on her arm. "A lot of people in this town love you – the whole town went into mourning when you were diagnosed."

"I know" she said quietly. "But sometimes it feels like I have to succeed for everyone and it's hard enough to succeed for myself."

Sonny nodded. "That's fair"

Robin sat back. "How have you been?"

Sonny chuckled "That's a loaded question"

Robin smiled. "I've missed you."

"Me too kid. Why don't you sit at my table for the Ball? It will be like old times."

"Sounds good."

Just as they were tucking into their food, Noah and Patrick walked through the door. Patrick swore he could smell her before he saw her. He looked murderously at his father. "Did you arrange this?"

"Arrange what?" he asked sitting down.

Patrick pulled out his chair. "Arrange for Robin and I to bump into each other" he hissed.

Noah looked over and saw Robin and Sonny deep in conversation. "Why would I do that?"

"Because you're a busy body"

"Don't you think if I was trying to set you up I might think to exclude the mobster from the plans?"

"Fine" Patrick grumbled.

"She's really under your skin isn't she?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"No why would you when you can just jump to conclusions?"

"Leave it" he said warningly.

"Patrick at some point you're going to have to believe that you deserve to be loved. Robin would be a good place to start."

Patrick fixed his father with an icy look. "We can either change the topic or you can eat alone"

Noah held up his hands. "Fine. No mas."

Lulu came over to take their orders. "Doctors, what can I get for you?"

"I'll have the smoked meat on rye" Noah ordered.

"If it isn't little miss sunshine."

"Do you want something to eat?" she asked impatiently.

"Oh Lulu, stop trying to flirt with me" he said sardonically.

"Why would I flirt with you – you dress like a teacher." Noah choked on his water. "So did you actually want something?"

Patrick shook his head. "I'll have a BLT" Lulu headed back to the kitchen.

Sonny had seen the way that Robin and Patrick kept sneaking looks at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking.

"So what's going on between you and the pretty boy?" Sonny asked smiling.

Robin blushed, embarrassed at being caught out. "Nothing"

"Robin, you've always been a terrible liar"

"Really Sonny – nothing. We dated for a while but it's over."

Sonny snickered. "It doesn't look over"

"Can we go back to talking about the Nurses Ball?"

"Fine – but I reserve the right to bring this up at another time"

Robin looked at her watch. "I have to get back."

"Okay kid." Sonny said standing up and kissing her on the cheek. "We'll talk soon"

She waved goodbye and left without looking over at the Drake table. 

Robin was working in her lab when she heard a knock at the door. "So this is where the genius happens?"

"Nikolas!" Robin jumped from her stool and threw her arms around him. "When did you get back?"

"Last night"

"How is John?"

"My son is doing well, thanks. How are you doing?"

"I'm good. What brings you by?"

"Well besides taking the opportunity to see you, I wanted to invite you to Wyndermere for a dinner to welcome Bruce Harris to the Board of Directors. It will be a small group of 40 or so but I'd love to have you there."

Robin smiled. "I wouldn't miss it. When?"

"Thursday night – 7:30"

"Great – I'll see you then"

"Good – and I'll have John dressed in that outfit you bought for him"

"Can't wait."

Nikolas found Patrick at the Nurses Station. "Dr. Drake"

Patrick looked up from his chart. "Nikolas" He was suddenly flooded by memories of the night that he had tried to end things with Robin in the hospital. He had seen Nikolas and Robin in a hug. The idea of her getting attention from another man then bothered him more than he cared to admit and it still did.

"I'm glad I found you."

"Why's that?"

"I'm throwing a dinner to welcome Bruce Harris to the board and I'd like you to come."

"Thanks I'm not…"

"It's Thursday night. There will be about 40 people – you'll know many of them – your father and Robin of course."

Patrick paused. "I'd be happy to attend." 


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"Hey Robin – care to go for a drink?" Lainey asked approaching the couches where Robin was sitting.

"I'm still trying to recover from all the vodka and Red Bull – is my heart still supposed to be beating this quickly?"

"Must be because I'm here" came the voice from behind. Robin turned and saw Bruce standing behind them.

"There you are" she said smiling. Standing, Robin gave Bruce a chaste kiss on his lips. "Bruce – this is my friend, Dr. Lainey Winters"

Bruce extended his hand. "Dr. Winters, a pleasure. Bruce Harris."

"It's nice to meet you Mr. Harris" Lainey said, taking his hand.

"Please, it's Bruce. It's so nice to meet some of Robin's Port Charles friends."

"How do we compare to her Paris friends?"

"You far exceed them" Bruce said charmingly.

Robin put her hands on her hips. "I don't know if I should be insulted or pleased"

Bruce kissed her cheek "Both"

"Bruce and I are off for dinner – can I take a rain cheque on drinks?"

"Sure – have fun. Nice to have met you Bruce"

"You too Lainey." She watched as Bruce took Robin by the hand and led her to the elevators.

The elevator doors had just closed when Bruce lowered his head and captured her lips with his. "Hi there" he said against her lips.

"Hi" she said smiling.

"Miss me?"

"Of course – how was Manhattan?"

"It was great. I had some good meetings and met with some fundraisers and the campaign is in good shape."

"I'm so proud of you" she said.

"Thanks. You know, I'd love to bring you to Manhattan, help me campaign. Would you be interested?"

Robin nervously tucked her hair behind her ears. "I don't know anything about your campaign though"

He kissed her hand. "You don't need to Robin. You just need to be you, brilliant, compassionate and dare I mention gorgeous?"

Robin blushed slightly. "Stop"

"It's true" he said, pulling her along as they exited the elevator. "I've made reservations for us at the Café Opera"

"Ooh – their foie gras is to die for"

"Why do you think I chose it?" 

Bruce pulled her chair out for her at the restaurant and took the liberty of ordering the wine for them. "So tell me how was your day?"

"It was good – I made some really good advances in the lab so I'm feeling pretty positive and I'm observing a surgery tomorrow."

"Who's the surgeon?"

"Patrick."

"You still work with him?" he asked casually.

"Of course. Bruce he is a brilliant surgeon. I have never seen anyone with as much natural talent as he has. I'm amazed on a daily basis at some of the things he does."

Bruce took a drink of his wine. "You sound like his biggest fan"

Robin furrowed her brow slightly. "I have a lot of respect for his work."

"So are you coming to this shingdig Nikolas Cassidine is throwing?"

"You mean the party in your honour? I think I'm busy" she teased. "Of course I'm going!"

"Good – will you come as my date?"

"I'd be honoured. It will be just like Paris"

"Listen speaking of social engagements, all the Directors received two tickets to the Nurses Ball and I was hoping you'd be my date."

Robin narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean received? You guys didn't have to pay for them?"

"Easy tiger. I'll be making my own donation that far exceeds the cost of the tickets."

"I'm sorry. I just hate to think of wasted opportunities for fundraising."

Bruce leaned across the table and brushed her lips. "I love it when you're passionate."

"I'd love to go with you but I was having lunch with Sonny today and I agreed to sit at his table."

"Sonny? As in Sonny Corinthos?"

"Yes – he's underwriting the ball"

"Isn't he…you know..." he said looking around "mobbed up?"

Robin let out a small laugh. "Watching the Sopranos again Bruce? I don't talk to Sonny about his work but he's an important person to me."

"Robin, isn't he one of the guys that hurt you – that you spent years in Paris trying to get over?"

She exhaled slowly. "Sonny and I each made some choices but he was with me through Stone's illness and death and for that reason among others we will always have a bond."

"I meant no offence" he said quietly.

"I'm sure you didn't but you need to understand I have people from all different backgrounds in my life and they are all important to me"

"I can see that" he took a long sip of his wine. "Any chance that I'm one of those people important to you?"

Robin smiled and squeezed his hand. "Yes."

Bruce spent the rest of the evening regaling her with stories from the campaign trail and managed to convince Robin to spend a day with him in the inner cities, going door to door with him. He walked her up to her door.

"I had a good time tonight" he said.

"Me too" Robin said staring into his eyes.

Bruce stroked her cheek. "You are so beautiful" Robin turned her head and kissed the palm of his hand. He lowered his head, hovering over her lips before crashing against them. Robin grabbed hold of his belt loops and pulled him closer. He began to kiss her neck and Robin tilted her head to the side giving him more access. She cupped his face and hotly took his lips with hers. They finally broke apart, breathless.  
"Any chance we can take this inside?" Bruce whispered, nibbling on her ear.

"Not tonight – but soon."

He kissed her lips again. "Don't make me wait too long Robin – it's already been six years"

She smiled as she slowly turned and pushed her door open. She gave him one last look before closing the door. She leaned against the door and sighed. Still no electricity but he was a good kisser.

Robin walked into Stella's and saw her father sitting uncomfortably at a booth. "Morning Dad" she said kissing his cheek.

"Hello luv"

"What's the matter?"

Robert looked around. "This is an awfully fancy place for breakfast isn't it?"

Robin laughed. "But they do make the best cinnamon waffles"

"Can I get a straight coffee or do I have to order one of those mocha locha espresso latte things?"

She shook her head. "You can get a straight coffee – when did you get to be so old?"

"Who's old? I'm just a man who likes the simple things in life."

"Okay – if that makes you feel better."

"So how are things?"

"Good" she said distractedly.

"And Patrick?"

Robin dropped her fork. "What about him?"

"Well how are things between the two of you?"

"We're not together if that's what you're asking"

"Why not?"

"Because we just aren't" Robin struggled to keep the frustration from her voice.

"I thought you guys were a good match"

"We're not. Besides I'm seeing someone else."

Robert raised an eyebrow "Really? Care to share his name with your old man?"

"Bruce Harris"

Robert choked on his coffee. "The slick dick running for office in Manhattan?"

"Dad" Robin admonished. "He's a nice guy"

"Nice guy? Robin nice is not something you build a relationship on. You need passion, fire, challenge – things you had with Patrick."

"I am tired of fighting with Patrick – I'm tired of trying to convince him of things he claims not to want so nice suits me just fine right now."

"You'll only be disappointed."

"Which would make it different from being with Patrick how?"

"Hey I'm just a father looking out for his daughter. I want you to be happy."

"I am okay?"

"Okay" Robert said staring at his coffee thinking his daughter really didn't seem that happy at all.

Robin told him about the Nurses Ball and the award and Robert promised to be there. She tried to convince him that he and Luke should consider a number together but her suggestion was met with resounding silence.

"So that's a no?"

"Do I look like a performer to you?"

"Well…."

"Let me rephrase that – do I look like I want to get on a stage and perform?"

"Fine."

Robin arrived at work to find Liz grinning like a fool. "Liz did you just win the lotto?"

"I wish. Nope - there's a delivery for you" Reaching under the counter, Liz pulled out an enormous bouquet of lilies.

Robin's eyes widened in surprise. "For me?" she asked taking the flowers from Liz. She pulled out the card.

_Looking forward to spending more time with you_

Bruce

Robin blushed as she stuffed the card back in the bouquet. Patrick arrived at the Nurses Station and stared briefly at the floral arrangement. Liz looked at him and he rolled his eyes. She shook her head imperceptibly.

Patrick moved closer to the Nurses Station. "It's Trish, right?" he asked, addressing the young nurse doing data entry on the computer.

She looked up in surprise. "Yes, Dr. Drake."

"Please – it's Patrick."

"Patrick" she repeated shyly.

"You just moved here recently didn't you?"

Robin stared with interest at the exchange between Patrick and Trish.

"I did – I'm originally from California."

He flashed his dimple at her. "Well, Trish, I happen to be invited to a dinner tomorrow night at Wyndermere and I'm hoping that you'll accompany me."

She shifted nervously. "Really?"

"Sure – the food will be fantastic and with you as my date, the company will be great too."

"I'd love too" she replied excitedly.

"Great – why don't you give me your number and I'll pick you up."

Robin's mouth fell open as she watched Trish scribble her number on a paper and pass it to Patrick. He folded it up and pocketing it, winked at her as he left. Incensed, Robin followed him, catching him up to him further down the hall.

"I suppose that was for my benefit?"

"What was Dr. Scorpio?" he asked turning around.

"Asking Tina or Trish or whatever her name is, out"

"Why would it be about you?"

"What about our agreement not to throw your conquests in my face?"

Patrick did a double take and pushed his lab coat back, placing his hands on his hips. "Excuse me? My understanding was that rule was put in place to protect your feelings so we could be friends however, since you've slapped my face it wouldn't appear that we're not friends and based on the small floral shop you could open with all the bouquets you've received, your feelings don't require any protection."

Robin opened her mouth to respond but Patrick didn't wait and headed back down the hall. 


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Robin stared at her reflection in the mirror still debating her dress choice. She had a risqué black number that she had bought in Rome the last time she visited her friend Brenda. High neckline in front and plunging in the back, it was definitely a dress that made a statement. Her other dress was a pink, raw silk a-line dress. Very Audrey Hepburn-esque. Looking at her clock she realized she had less than half an hour before Bruce would be on her doorstep. She held up the black dress and thought briefly that if she was going with Patrick that would be the dress. Walking back to her closet, she chided herself for thinking of him at all.

Slipping the pink dress over her head and doing up the zipper, she stepped into her gold shoes and finished applying her lip gloss when Bruce knocked at her door. She smiled as she opened the door, Bruce was dressed in a tuxedo and carrying a single red rose.

"Hello gorgeous" he said, bussing her lips.

"Come in" she said. "You look very debonair."

"Why thank you. For you" he said handing the rose to her. She sniffed it appreciatively before taking it to the kitchen and placing it in water.

"I'm ready" she announced picking up her purse.

Bruce scanned her appreciatively. "You look amazing. Are you sure your hair wouldn't be better pulled back?" he suggested helpfully.

Robin pulled at her hair, self-consciously. She liked to wear her hair down, it was her tiny battle cry for being a free spirit. "You think?"

"Well, it's just such an elegant dress, I think it would be the crowning touch on your look but obviously you know best."

Robin stopped and looked in the mirror. "Give me two minutes" She scurried back to her bedroom and pulling her hair through an elastic, wrapped it around in a knot at the nape of her neck, securing it with a few pins.

Bruce smiled as she returned to the main room. "You are exquisite. Let's go" he said, offering his arm.

Patrick pulled up outside Trish's apartment building and smoothed down his suit. He was having difficulty deciding whether he wanted to be there because Robin would be there or if he would rather stay home. The more he tried to get her out of his mind, the more he ended up thinking about her. It was enough to drive a saint to sin….and he was no saint. Pressing the intercom, Patrick heard Trish's voice come through, announcing she would be right down.

He smiled as Trish exited the elevator. Tall, blonde and well put together, she was dressed in a slinky black cocktail dress. "You look lovely" he said, kissing her cheek.

"Thank you" she said blushing slightly. Opening the car door for her, Patrick slid into the driver's side and drove them to the docks to catch the launch to Wyndermere.

Nikolas stood at the entrance to the ballroom, personally greeting his guests. He concealed his shock when he saw Robin arrive with the guest of honour. Out of the country for a few weeks, it appeared there were a few musical chairs going on. He made a mental note to speak to Robin about her choice of date later.

"Robin – you are simply beautiful" he said, kissing her cheek.

"You always were a charmer" she teased.

Nikolas extended his hand to Bruce. "Bruce, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm sorry I wasn't there to meet you when the announcement was made."

Bruce shook his hand. "I completely understand, Nikolas. You're a busy man. Thank you so much for doing this, it's very kind."

"It's my pleasure. Please go ahead in – appetizers and cocktails are being circulated."

Robin gave Nikolas' arm a squeeze as they walked past.

"Do you know Nikolas well?" Bruce asked.

"He's been a good friend. Weren't you at my dinner party – you know – the one where I had three different fondues going? He had come to Paris to visit me"

Bruce shook his head. "If I had been at a fondue party at your place, I would remember. I'm sorry I missed that opportunity but I'm happy to have met him now."

Robin smiled, accepting a glass of champagne from the waiter. "He's a great guy."

"You weren't kidding when you said that your friends come from all walks of life."

"Port Charles is a small town – you end up meeting everyone at some point."

Bruce smiled before taking a sip of his champagne. "Oh look, there's Alan, let's go say hello" he said taking her hand.

Nikolas was forced to conceal his surprise for a second time as Patrick appeared with someone who definitely wasn't Robin. "Patrick, so glad you could make it" he said shaking his hand.

"Thank you Nikolas. This is Trish. Trish – Nikolas Cassidine."

"Wow – you have an amazing home"

Nikolas smiled kindly. "Thanks – welcome to Wyndermere."

Patrick and Trish circulated among the other guests, sampling smoked salmon and caviar. He spotted Robin immediately. Somehow he wasn't surprised that in a sea of black cocktail dresses, she could be counted on to wear something different. He was surprised to see her hair tied up and groaned inwardly as he looked at her neck, just calling out to be kissed. He looked away as he saw Bruce snake his hand around her waist. 

The ringing bell announcing that dinner was served interrupted his thoughts. Patrick offered his arm to Trish as he escorted her to the table. Patrick bit his lip in frustration as he saw on the seating plan that he was sitting at a table with his father, Nikolas, Alan and Monica and Bruce and Robin. This night just wasn't going to get better.

Seated across from Patrick, Robin took a deep breath and resolved to stay polite and cordial with him and his date especially as they were seated with colleagues and board members. Nikolas was the perfect host and rose to make a toast welcoming Bruce to General Hospital.

Robin couldn't help but look at Patrick. Where most of the men had opted for tuxedos, Patrick was in a dark suit that was draped beautifully across his lean frame. Not for the first time she wished he wasn't so under her skin. Sensing her looking at him, Patrick looked up and met her eyes. He held her gaze for several minutes before he was pulled away by the sound of Bruce's voice.

"So, Patrick. Are you a Port Charles native too?"

"No. I've only been here for a few months."

"Really? What brought you to Port Charles."

Looking directly at Robin he said "Someone made me an offer I couldn't refuse." Robin met his eyes before lowering her gaze.

Not picking up on the tension, Bruce carried on. "Where were you before that?"

"Manhattan."

"Manhattan? Drake…." Bruce furrowed his brow "Are you any relation to the late Senator Drake"

Patrick took a long drink from his wine glass. "He was my grandfather."

"Wow. You must have had such an interesting childhood. I was a summer intern on the Hill and got to work with him on several occasions. He work on mandatory minimum wage and immigration reform was groundbreaking." Robin watched Patrick's face cloud over and could tell that Bruce was hitting an incredibly raw nerve. Looking over at Noah, she could see a very similar expression on his face. "He was a great man" Bruce said triumphantly.

"To some" Patrick said flatly.

"And to others he was a complete bastard" Noah chimed in, gripping his water glass. His father was not a happy subject for any member of the Drake family.

Bruce blanched slightly but would not be deterred. "So what hospital were you working at before you came to Port Charles?"

"Colombia Presbyterian." Patrick was swallowing the urge to poke him repeatedly with a fork.

"Really? That's interesting. I was on the board there."

Patrick leaned back into his chair, the Drake bravado on display. "How nice for you. I saved lives there."

Nikolas jumped in to change the subject. "So, Bruce. Tell me how your campaign is going."

"Thank you for asking Nikolas. I am so humbled by the response that we've been getting to our platform. I think that we have a real chance to carry the district and then on to Washington where we can start making changes."

Patrick leaned over to his father and whispered. "Is it me or do these guys need to talk in the plural sense so they can include their egos?"

"He is definitely the son your grandfather always wanted" Noah whispered back. "And for the record, I don't like him and I don't like him with Robin." Patrick gave his father a small, appreciative smile.

"What are your main issues?" Alan asked. Robin was trying to listen to what Bruce was saying but kept looking at Patrick.

"Well, Alan obviously healthcare is one of them. I mean, we need to make sure Americans have what they need in terms of affordable health care – don't you agree?" he asked rhetorically. "But one thing we have to change is the idea that pharmaceutical companies are the bad guy. These guys invest millions in their R&D and they need to get the opportunity to make that money back. They are a key partner in health care."

Alan nodded. "They are but they would do well to share some of their findings so that progress in drug discovery could be quicker, helping those with terminal illnesses – those without hope. And tighter intervention by the government would not be unwarranted."

"Ah – you and I disagree Alan. To me, they need to have the right to that intellectual property. I mean, take Robin for example." Both Robin and Patrick snapped their heads in Bruce's direction. "She has a manageable condition today thanks to the advances done by the big pharmaceutical companies. If they had to share or if the government regulated them too rigidly, they might never have made the advances in HIV that they did and we would all" he said pointing to the table "be the poorer for it."

Robin looked at her plate. Both Nikolas and Patrick noticed and while Patrick wanted to smash Bruce in the face, Nikolas had a less violent option. "Bruce, you should come and see my library while we wait for dessert. I have a number of first editions that I'm sure you would appreciate."

"I would love to. Robin?"

She looked up and smiled. "I've seen the library several times. You go ahead, I'm going to get some air." Standing up, she excused herself to the terrace.

Patrick watched her walk away and then watched as Nikolas led Bruce to the library. "Trish, if you'll excuse me, I need to make a phone call."

"Okay" she said sweetly before turning her attention to Noah.

Patrick followed Robin out to the terrace. She was staring out at the water, shivering in the cold night air. Taking off his jacket, he draped it around her shoulders.

"Your boyfriend is arrogant, pretentious and rude" he said quietly.

Robin scoffed and turned to him. "Are you trying to tell me I have a type?" she asked pulling his jacket around her.

"What are you doing with him – he's a jerk Robin."

"He is not – he's a nice guy and what are you doing with Malibu Barbie?"

"She's just a date and why are you settling for nice?"

"Because it makes a good change from the rollercoaster you and I are always on."

Patrick moved closer to her. "I miss you" he said softly.

Robin closed her eyes "Don't say that"

"Don't you miss me? Even a little?" He cupped her cheek with his hand.

Robin pressed her cheek further into his hand, reveling momentarily in his touch. "Of course I miss you" she whispered. "But has anything changed?" Patrick opened his mouth to respond but couldn't find his voice. She opened her eyes and smiled sadly. "I didn't think so."

"Robin, he's using you" As soon as he said it, he knew it was a mistake. Her eyes flashed with anger.

"No he isn't. Before romance or anything, he is a friend and has been for a number of years. I've known him a lot longer than I've known you and he's never hurt me" she said defiantly, handing his jacket back to him and walking back to the table.

Noah watched as Robin strode purposefully back to their table, putting her hand on Bruce's shoulder as she sat down. He then noticed the dark look on Patrick's face as he took his seat. Leaning over to his son, he said "Is there any chance that went well?" Patrick fixed him with a look, telling his father all he needed to know.

Bruce walked Robin to her apartment door again and nuzzled the back of her neck as she unlocked the door. Turning around to face him, she smiled knowingly.

"Care to come in?"

Bruce looked at her quizzically. "Are you sure?" he asked, his thumb stroking her chin.

"I think six years is a long enough wait, don't you?" she asked before pulling him in to her apartment and capturing his mouth in a kiss. 


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

As Bruce collapsed on top of her, panting, Robin couldn't help but feel that something was not quite right. She couldn't put her finger on it. The sex had been good, Bruce was a suitably attentive lover but it was almost like he was too heavy. He didn't have the deadly combination of feathery touch and manliness like….she groaned. It was so wrong for her to be thinking of Patrick, to be comparing Bruce to Patrick at this moment.

Bruce pulled her to his body and nuzzled her neck. "That was worth the wait" he whispered.

Robin smiled and stroked his face. "If only I had known in Paris, our dates could have ended much differently" she teased.

Bruce smiled. "I really should have ended it with Marian earlier. Probably as soon as I realized I had feelings for you. But it doesn't matter – we're here now."

Robin sighed and pressed her head against her chest. Yes, they were here now – if only she could figure out where here was. She chided herself for the unfair comparison to Patrick. He was exceptionally talented and skilled and she had to accept that anyone post-Patrick would have big shoes to fill. Bruce was safe and he cared for her and that was worth something in her book. She drifted off to sleep, wrapped in his arms. 

Robin pried her eyes open at the sound of her morning alarm. She shut it off quickly and turning to look at Bruce saw he was still sound asleep. Slipping from the bed, she wrapped her robe around her and padded to the kitchen. Opening the cupboard, she pulled out her med kit and laid out her morning pills. She poured herself a glass of orange juice and took some crackers from the box. Downing the first couple of pills with the juice, she pulled a syringe and vial from her med kit. Swabbing her thigh with alcohol, she pinched the skin on her thigh.

"What are you doing?" came the sleepy voice.

Robin looked up in surprise. "I'm just giving myself a shot."

"Of what?"

Robin inhaled. "It's a nutritional supplement of vitamin and minerals."

"You doctors – what's the matter – a multivitamin not good enough for you?"

Robin put the syringe on the counter. "I can't absorb vitamins as fully with my other meds and I need them to help with the fatigue. By injecting it into the muscle, I get a greater benefit."

"You do this everyday- and those pills too?" he asked nodding to the pills still remaining on the counter. Robin nodded. "Okay – well I'll leave you to it" he said, going back to the bedroom.

Robin watched him leave and shook her head slightly before finishing her morning protocol. Draining her juice, she crawled back into bed with Bruce. He kissed her gently on the lips.

"Good morning you" he said

"Good morning yourself" she replied.

He stroked her face. "Last night was…great" Robin smiled and laced her fingers through his. "So, I was thinking we could fly to Manhattan tonight after your shift and you could spend the day with me tomorrow on the campaign trail."

Robin sighed. "What do I have to do again?"

"We're going to visit a couple of schools to launch my education program. I'm going to visit with some students and maybe read a couple of stories. You could read some stories with me, if you'd like. They did teach you to read at that fancy medical school didn't they?" he teased

Robin giggled. "Are we talking Da Vinci Code or The Very Hungry Caterpillar?"

He kissed her nose. "More the latter."

"Okay – if you think I can help."

"I think you'll be a huge help"

"How do you figure?"

"Well for one, when people see me with a woman as gorgeous and talented as you they're just going to assume that I'm a genius!"

Robin slapped him playfully. "Your ego is astounding."

"That's not the only thing" he said nuzzling her ear. He kissed her once more before getting up. "I have to run and get things underway. I'll pick you up at the hospital around 7?"

"Sounds good" she smiled. He got dressed and headed out the door. 

Robin rolled over onto her back and sighed. Reaching for the phone, she punched the keys, dialing a familiar number.

"Pronto?"

"Brenda, it's Robin"

"Little sis!"

"How is Rome?"

"Delicious – what's up?"

"Nothing, I'm just calling to say hi"

Brenda paused. "You never and I mean never just call to say hi. What did doctor hottie pants do now?"

"Nothing"

"Hello?" she said tapping the phone. "I think we have a bad connection because you couldn't possibly be lying to me"

"We've agreed to be friends."

"And how is that working for ya?"

"Terrific" she said flatly.

"Greeeaaat!"

"Listen I didn't call to talk about Patrick."

"Okay – then what?"

"Do you remember Bruce – the guy from the embassy?"

"The blonde guy? Gay and doesn't know it? Thinks his poop doesn't stink? Yeah I remember him, why?"

"I'm dating him" she said quietly. Robin could hear her spit coffee.

"You're what? And why?'

"I'm dating. He's been in and out of town because he's on GH's board now and he's running for a senate seat."

"Oh good. You thought Patrick's ego was enormous – a politician is that times infinity!"

"Bren, he really likes me – he tells me I'm beautiful and he wants me to help with his campaign."

"Why would he want that? Does he see you as Jackie O or something?"

"What? He wants me to help because he thinks I may have something to offer."

"A politician Robin? Really? A politician?"

"He likes me"

"So you've said but you haven't said how you feel about him. How does he compare to Doc Happy Pants?"

"Breeeenda" Robin pleaded. "Stop that. You can't compare the two"

"Why not? Is he any good in bed?"

"Brenda!"

"Is he?"

"He's fine"

"Fine" she sniffed. "Fine is okay for coffee, fine is okay for a movie but fine is not okay for sex – Robin – what are you doing?"

"Moving on"

"From Patrick?"

"Yes."

"You seem really happy about it" she said sarcastically.

"Brenda, what do you want me to say – that I wish I was with Patrick? I do. But he doesn't want a relationship and I do so what does it matter if I'm in love with him"

"What did you just say?" Brenda asked hurriedly.

"I said, he doesn't want.."

"No no – after that. You know the part where you admit to being in love with him. Eeeee! You're in love!"

Robin was silent on the other end – she hadn't even realized what she'd said. "It doesn't matter Brenda."

"What what what? Of course it matters."

"Brenda he doesn't feel the same way and I'm with Bruce"

"How do you know he doesn't feel the same way if you haven't told him?"

"Bren, I have given him every opportunity…"

"Have.you.told.him?"

"No."

"You should"

"I'm not going to."

"It will never work with Bruce"

"Thanks for your confidence" Robin's voice dripped frustration.

"Robs – I love you, you know this but how can you try and make something work with someone when you are in love with someone else?"

"You? This is coming from you?"

"Okay point taken but as you can see I am not with either Sonny or Jax. Just be careful honey – Bruce is going to figure out that you aren't in love with him and that will hurt."

"Maybe I'll grow to love him."

"Rob – in order for love to grow, the seed has to be there first."

"There's seed."

"Eww – gross – I did not need that visual"

"Oh Brenda – eww – only you would go there. That's not what I meant. He and I are good friends and that's something to build on."

"I'll be here for you."

"You always are" Robin said, confused.

"I mean when this little house of cards all falls to pieces."

"I have to go now."

"Be careful – love ya!"

"Love you too."

Robin hung up the phone and rolled on to her stomach. She wasn't sure what she was expecting from Brenda but she wasn't feeling any better about things. Add to that admitting that she was in love with Patrick and things felt very messy indeed. 

Patrick had spent most of the day avoiding Robin where he could. In the end he didn't have to try too hard because it seemed like she was going out of her way to avoid him. He was at a loss with his feelings. There was a moment, on the terrace, where he felt that he could, that he wanted to try for a relationship but the feeling was fleeting and he and Robin ended their conversation as they were want to do, stomping and fuming. He had driven Trish home and given her a good night kiss but declined her invitation to go in to her apartment. He just wasn't in the mood. Staring into his coffee he felt like a platform diver standing at the edge of the 10 m platform. He could just take a leap of faith and dive, trusting the water to be there, even though it was a long way down or he could walk away from the platform and take the stairs back to the ground.

He headed to the Nurses Station to turn in the last of his charts before leaving for the night. He stopped as he saw Robin signing out. She was in a white pantsuit with a black shirt and her hair was pulled back again. He shook his head slightly – it looked like Bruce was getting set to enroll in Stepford College. He placed his charts on the carousel and stepped off the podium without giving Robin a second look.

"Dr. Drake, you have a phone call" Epiphany said.

"I'm off duty – take a message Epiphany"

"She says it's personal and urgent" she said holding out the receiver.

Robin snorted under her breath. "Of course it's personal and urgent. The woman probably has an itch he needs to scratch" she thought savagely.

"Patrick! Patrick – it's Nathalie" came the hysterical voice on the other end of the phone.

"Nathalie? Calm down – Nathalie – what's wrong?"

"It's Andrew, Patrick – oh my god"

"Nathalie, what's happened to Andrew? Sweetheart, you have to stop crying - I can't understand you."

Both Epiphany and Robin looked up with interest.

"It's Andrew – god Patrick. He's dead."

All the colour drained from his face and Patrick's knees gave way. He grabbed hold of the counter to stay upright. "What do you mean he's dead?"  



	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

"Nathalie, slow down and start from the beginning" Patrick pleaded. Robin watched as Patrick's face registered an entire spectrum of emotions, the most evident one being heartbreak.

He listened and nodded asking several questions. "When's the funeral?" he asked quietly. "Of course I'll be there…..I'll talk to you soon Nat….I love you."

With a shaking hand, Patrick placed the receiver back on the cradle and stared in front of him, incapable of moving. Epiphany caught Robin's eye and she moved onto the podium, gently placing her hand on his elbow.

"Patrick?" she said softly. He didn't react. She called to him again. "Patrick, what's wrong?"

He turned to look at her, his eyes were brimming with tears. He opened his mouth to speak but found he couldn't make any noise, so bit his bottom lip to stop from crying. Robin tightened her grip on his elbow and led him to the couches. She sat him down and sitting beside him, rubbed his shoulder. He pressed his palms against his forehead and suddenly turned to her.

"Andrew is dead" the shock was evident in his voice.

Robin continued to rub his shoulder. "Patrick, who's Andrew?"

"My, uh…he's" he stopped and swallowed, unable to speak.

Placing his elbows on his legs, he cradled his head in his hands. He knew it was medically impossible for a heart to actually break apart but yet it felt like his had shattered into a million pieces and there was a gaping hole in his chest where his heart had once been. Everything just seemed to stop and it felt like his brain was suddenly wrapped in cotton. He had only ever felt like this one time before, when his mother had died. That he recognized it was grief that he was feeling made it no easier to accept. Somehow though, breaking through the fog was the feel of Robin's hand on his shoulder and the sound of her voice as she tried to soothe him. He wanted to push her away and have her take him in her arms all at the same time.

He lifted his head, eyes filled beyond capacity with tears that would just not spill. He blew out his cheeks. "Andrew is my best friend….like in the whole world and he's dead" he said disbelievingly.

"Oh Patrick. I am so sorry" she said pulling him into a hug.

He didn't respond at first, letting his arms stay at his sides but the warmth of her body melted some of his numbness and he held her tightly, burying his head in her shoulder. Robin, feeling his grief as it seeped from him, found her own eyes filling with tears. He held onto her, unable to let go. She rubbed his back and stroked his hair.

"I hope I'm not interrupting" came an icy voice.

Patrick let go of Robin and looked away as soon as he heard Bruce's voice. Robin turned her head and saw Bruce glaring at them, arms folded across his chest. She put her hand on his leg. "I'll be right back, okay?" she whispered.

Getting up from the couch, she walked over to Bruce and led him back to the Nurses Station. "I'm sorry Bruce but I can't go to Manhattan with you tonight. Patrick needs me. I'll fly out tomorrow and meet you."

Bruce looked at her incredulously. "Patrick needs you? What about me? This is a really big deal for me Robin."

Robin leaned in. "Yeah, well – his best friend has just died and so his needs are bigger than yours right now" she hissed.

Bruce took a step back. "Oh – I'm sorry – I had no idea."

Robin softened. "I know but I need to be here. I'll meet you tomorrow morning okay?"

Bruce swallowed his building rage and smiled. "Of course – your loyalty to your friends is just one of the many reasons why I care for you. Call me when you land. Good luck" he kissed her forehead.

Robin smiled tightly. "Thanks. You too." She walked back to the couches without giving him a backwards glance.

Patrick looked up as Robin sit down. "I don't need a babysitter" he said flatly.

"No you don't. You need a friend" she said patting his leg.

Looking at the ground, he tilted his head and smiled apologetically. "Thanks" he croaked.

"Should I call Noah?"

Patrick shook his head. "Not yet – I'm uh, I'm not ready" His only other experience with his father and death had not gone well. And though Patrick knew it was unlikely that Noah would walk out on him a second time, he felt too vulnerable and too raw to risk it right now.

Robin nodded. "Okay – do you want me to take you back to your room?" Patrick swallowed thickly and shook his head.

Recognizing that he was incapable of making a decision or knowing what he wanted, Robin stood up and took his hand. "Come on" Still in too much shock to register what was going on, he took her hand and followed her to the elevator.

Epiphany watched the whole scene unfold and allowed herself the smallest of smiles. Though neither of the young doctors realized it or would admit to it, when the chips were down neither had a greater champion or protector than the other. She was pleased to see that regardless of how upset she was with Dr. Drake and what else was going on in her life, Dr. Scorpio still knew to do the right thing.

They walked wordlessly, hand in hand, along the water, before reaching Robin's apartment. She guided him to the couch and gently pushed him down on it. Walking into the kitchen, she put the kettle on and watched him as the water boiled. He hadn't moved, other than to lean back. He stared straight ahead, not really reacting to anything around him.

Patrick stared at the picture above Robin's television. All he could process were Nathalie's words. "Andrew is dead". The words rolled around in his head but they just wouldn't stick. For him, they were three words that had no business being in the same sentence. He was pulled from his fog when Robin set down a tray in front of them.

"Tea?" he questioned.

"Don't you know – everything is a little easier with a cup of tea."

He gave her a small smile and reached out, taking her hand in his own. "I've known him my entire life" he said quietly. Robin traced circles on the palm of his hand with her thumb, letting him know that he was safe.

"We met on the first day of first grade. He had a Superman lunch box and I had a Spider-Man one – we were destined to be friends" he grinned at the memory. "We did everything together – climbed trees in Central Park, we put frogs in his sister's bed and dropped water balloons from the roof top garden of my parents' penthouse"

Robin laughed lightly. "You were a regular little hellion weren't you."

"It was Andrew's fault. I was a good boy until I fell into his evil clutches."

"I'm sure" she teased, passing him a cup of tea.

"He's…he was…miles smarter than me. I had to work for my grades but he just excelled at everything he touched."

"Was he a doctor?"

Patrick nodded. "You'll love this – he was a researcher"

Robin giggled. "Oh really?"

"Yup. He was a cancer researcher working on cures for lung and other soft tissue cancers. I used to tease him, like you, about it not being real medicine and he would remind me that when he found the cures and I was prescribing them to patients he was going to force me to tell them all that I knew the genius behind the cure." Robin stroked the hair at the back of his neck. "He would have found a cure too – he's – he was that good."

Patrick leaned back against the arm of the couch. Tucking her legs up under her, faced him straight on. He kept hold of her hand. "I was the best man at his wedding and I was the first one to see each of his two kids."

"You were in the delivery room?"

Patrick nodded, smirking. "Nathalie figured I was Andrew's only hope at not passing out. Grace and Oliver – they're great kids." Patrick pulled at his lips. "I have never loved another person the way I love him or loved him I guess."

Robin squeezed his hand and Patrick squeezed it back. They sat in silence, drinking tea. Robin refused to push or prod. She knew from her own experience with grief that words and memories worked from their own timetable and patience was needed.

"He took a week off from his freshman year to come home and stay with me when my mom died." Patrick looked past Robin's shoulder. "He did everything he could to try and make me understand my dad. He wouldn't give up on either of us even though he probably wanted to."

"I guess he was right in the end" Robin said softly.

"He liked you" Patrick said, meeting and holding her gaze.

"Me?" Robin asked. "How did…"

"I told him about you. When he heard what you did during my dad's liver transplant and that you were a researcher to boot he made some kind of comment about the universe putting you in my way."

Robin blushed and pulled at her pants. "I think I would have liked him - if for no other reason in that you would be outnumbered by researchers."

Patrick laughed slightly. "I can only imagine the damage the two of you would have done to me." He ran his free hand through his hair. "How can he be dead?" Robin reached over and stroked his face. "It was a car crash – he was on his way home to see his wife and his kids – how is it that he's dead?"

Robin watched as he struggled for answers and control; her heart ached for him. Scooting across the couch, she wrapped him in her arms again. This time there was no hesitation and he held onto her tightly as if she could give him strength by osmosis.

Several cups of tea, Patrick looked at his watch. "It's late I should go."

Robin looked at him. "Why don't you stay here?"

He tiredly raised an eyebrow. "Why Dr. Scorpio, are you trying to seduce me?"

She slapped at his chest playfully. "You can stay in the guest bedroom." He nodded, too spent to refuse.

Robin led him to guest bedroom and left to get some towels. When she returned, he was exactly where she had left him, sitting on the edge of the bed, head in his hands. Robin grimaced before entering the room. Dropping the towels on the dresser, she walked over to him and bent down at his feet. She undid his shoes and slipped them from his feet. She removed his socks, stuffing them in his shoes. Pulling him to a standing position, she undid the buttons of his shirt. She pushed it over his shoulders and laid it over the chair. Undoing his belt buckle, she unzipped his pants and pushed them down as he stepped out of them. Pulling back the covers, Patrick climbed into bed like a five year old. She tucked the blankets around him.

Standing to leave, Patrick grabbed hold of her wrist. Robin turned to look at him. The kindness and compassion in her eyes almost undid him on the spot. "Thank you. I don't think I could have handled being alone." he said hoarsely.

She pressed her lips against his forehead. "You're not alone – you have me."  



	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Robin padded to the kitchen, momentarily forgetting that Patrick had spent the night. She stopped short when she saw him in the kitchen. He was leaning up against the counter dressed in just his pants, sipping on a coffee.

"Hi" he said quietly when he saw her.

Robin smiled. "How are you?" Patrick shrugged. "Were you able to sleep at all?" She could tell by the dark shadows under his eyes that the answer was likely no.

"Here and there but not much. I've made coffee."

"Thanks. I just have to…" she said moving around him to pull out her med kit.

Patrick opened a cupboard and took down a glass. Pouring the orange juice, he passed the glass to her. She smiled shyly as she sat down to take her pills.

"So what are you going to do today?" she asked between pills.

"I..gotta buy a plane ticket, I guess" he said, his eyes filling with tears once again.

"I never asked you – where does Andrew and his family live?"

She would never know the mercy of her words on him. He was still having enormous difficulty dealing with the concept of his friend's death. That she framed her question around life - where he lived, rather than death - where the funeral was – was an immeasurable kindness.

"They're based in Washington D.C."

"Are you going to talk to Noah?" she asked quietly.

"At some point. What about you – what are you doing today?"

Robin swallowed her last pill. "I told Bruce that I would join him in Manhattan for the day but I can stay if you need me to."

Patrick gave her a grateful smile. "No thanks – you should go, I'm sure Bruce will be happy to have you by his side."

"Bruce arranged for a driver for me. I just need to change and I can have him drop you at the MetroCourt."

"Okay." Patrick watched her as she left and thought back to one of the many conversations he had with Andrew about her.

"_She sounds great P– what are you going to do about it."_

"Nothing Drew – we're not a good match."

"What are you smoking – she doesn't take your crap, she's hot AND a researcher – seriously have you had a lobotomy and not told me?"

"Funny guy. You won the lotto when you got Nathalie."

"I did but that doesn't mean you can't too."

"You know me Drew – I'm not a relationship kind of guy."

"Neither was I until I met Nat and she's made it all worthwhile. Every player has to retire his black book at some point P – she sounds like she would be worth it."

"I'll hurt her and I don't want that on my conscience."

"P – the universe keeps putting her in your way – don't you think it's time you paid attention."

"Shit!" Robin swore.

Hearing her voice, Patrick walked to her room and pushed back her door. "You okay?" he asked.

Robin looked up in surprise as she tried to scoop up her vial and syringe from the floor. "Yeah" she said, her cheeks flushing in embarrassment. "I was just…I,uh, I'm all thumbs this morning" she said trying to make light of it.

Patrick walked in and picked them off the floor. Reaching for her gloves, he pulled them on. "Arm or thigh?" he asked.

"Patrick, you don't have to…"

"Or butt?" he asked hopefully, wiggling his eyebrows.

Robin giggled. "Arm" she said quietly. He pushed up her sleeve and injected the vitamins into her muscle. He pressed the cotton against the injection site. "Thanks, I normally don't have trouble, I just…"

"It's hard to give yourself an injection. I'll let you finish getting ready" he got up and walked out.

Robin felt the intimacy of his gesture keenly.

Pulling her grey suit jacket over her pink shirt, Robin grabbed her keys and purse. "Ready to go?"  
"Sure" he said.

The car pulled to a stop in front of the hotel. Patrick looked at Robin, picking up her hand, he dropped a kiss on the top of it.

"Thanks for everything" he whispered.

"I'll have my phone with me. Call me at anytime if you need to talk."

He nodded. "Good luck in Manhattan. I'm sure you'll be brilliant" he jumped out of the car before Robin could say any more.

Robin could think of nothing but Patrick all the way to Manhattan. His pain and his grief leaked from him as if there was so much of it that he was overflowing. She worried that he would shut down and that he wouldn't be reachable. She checked her phone obsessively on the ride to Bruce's hotel but there was no call forthcoming. She switched the ringer to vibrate and turned her attention to the day ahead.

Bruce was meeting with people when she walked into the suite. Upon seeing her, he broke away and came to greet her. He kissed her cheek. "I'm happy to see you" he whispered.

Robin smiled and looked around the room. "This is quite an operation" she remarked.

"Command central. Did you have breakfast – can I get you a coffee?"

"Coffee would be great" she said brightly. She followed him to the little kitchen area as he poured her a coffee.

Turning to her, he took her hand. "Robin I owe you a huge apology. I was an ass last night. I had no idea about Patrick's friend and of course you were right to stay with him."

Robin smiled gratefully. "Thank you for that."

"Forgiven?" he asked hopefully.

"Of course" she said, kissing him gently on the lips.

"Great. Come, bring your coffee, I'd like to introduce you to my campaign manager, Chase and my press secretary, Krista"

"Okay."

Robin met the key players of his campaign team and was surprised to find that most of them knew about her. Krista outlined the day's activities, which included a press conference at PS 124 announcing his education platform, and he and Robin would take turns reading to the assembled children.

Krista put her hand on Robin's arm. "Don't worry Robin, we have hair and make up available before the press conference so we'll having you looking camera ready."

Robin pulled at her ponytail. "Oh, uh, that's great. I've only had my make up done a few times before."

"Great. This is Barb" she said, pulling over a 20 something campaign worker "and she'll be your shadow today."

"My shadow?"

"Yeah – she'll follow you around, get what you need, take you to hair and make up that type of thing. Barb this is Robin, Bruce's girlfriend"

Robin's eyes bugged out. "Girlfriend?" she spluttered.

Krista laughed. "Oh don't worry Robin, we know your relationship is new but we can't very well go around calling you Bruce's date – it doesn't play well with the more mature members of the audience."

"Oh okay" Robin felt completely overwhelmed by the massive machinery moving around her. The hum of the room was incredible and nerve racking all at the same time.

Looking in the mirror before the press conference, she felt like a cover girl. Her hair was in the most perfect ponytail she had ever seen and her make up flawless – they had even covered all of her freckles. She looked like herself but more polished. She rode in the limousine with Bruce.

"You look stunning" he said.

"Thanks" she said licking her lips. "The lipstick feels a bit strange though, I'm normally a lip gloss kind of girl"

He leaned in close to her ear. "Don't worry, I plan on kissing it all off later." Robin giggled and blushed.

Robin beamed with pride as Bruce conducted his press conference. He was in his element and captivated everyone. She demurred being a part of the photo op at the podium but was happy to get to the book reading. The children sat in a semi-circle around her as she read The Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munsch. She loved every minute of it – the children were enthralled with the story and she forgot completely about the other audience of reporters and television cameras.

One of the reporters approached Krista. "Who's the girl reading to the kids?"

Krista perked up. "She's Bruce's girlfriend, Dr. Robin Scorpio. She has a great story – let me tell you a bit about her."

Bruce took Robin's hand in the car ride back to the hotel. "You did really well" he said.

"Me?" she replied in surprise. "All I did was read a story – you were the one who had them all on board, ready to carry you on their shoulders to Washington."

He kissed her hand. "I couldn't have done it without you."

"Please – Bruce, you were born to do this. It's just nice to see so many good things happening for you."

"You are by far the best thing" he said leaning in for a kiss.

Patrick took a deep breath as he exited the airport. Everything felt familiar but different. He hadn't been to Washington in months and couldn't grasp his reason for being there. He had instinctively looked around the arrivals hall for Andrew before chiding himself to get a grip. He hailed a taxi and began the journey that he wanted no part of but had to make.

Nathalie launched herself into his arms when she opened the door. He held her tightly as she cried into his shoulder. "God, Nat. I don't know what to say"

"I am so glad you're here" she said pulling back, wiping at her face.

"Where else would I be?" he asked, wiping her tears.

"Patty! Patty! Patty!" screamed Grace, full of energy like most three year olds, as she came running to the door. Patrick scooped her up into his arms and held her tightly.

"Hey Gracie-Lou"

"Who loves you?"

"I love you" he said, playing their game that he had started almost the day she was born.

"Grace, sweetie, let's let Patrick get in the door" The litter girl slid down his body as he set her on the ground.

He settled into the guest bedroom and helped Nathalie put Grace to bed. Oliver, 10 months old was already in bed by the time Patrick arrived. The two collapsed on the couch, he with a beer and her with a glass of wine.

"I keep waiting for him to walk through that door" Nathalie said.

"Me too" Patrick replied huskily.

Nathalie took a long look at him. "You know he loved you, right?" Patrick nodded, eyes glued to the ground as he took another sip from his beer. "I used to tease him that he loved you more than me and if you had ever been born a girl, I would have been out of luck."

Patrick smirked. "And I told him he wasn't nearly good enough for you and should get out of the way and let a real man have you."

"Like you, I suppose?" she said smiling.

"Exactly."

"What am I going to do without him P? What are we going to do without him?"

Patrick shook his head. "I have no idea Nat. Is it supposed to hurt this much?"

She shrugged slightly. "Every time I think it can't hurt more, I find a picture or my favourite today was his old ratty Notre Dame t-shirt and it feels like my guts are being ripped out."

"I called him today" Patrick said quietly. "I had something I wanted to tell him and without thinking, I dialed his number"

Nathalie nodded. "I've listened to his voice mail message seven times today alone."

Patrick sighed. "You know, anything you or the kids need, I'm here."

"I know Patrick. You were his best friend but I kind of feel like you were mine too."

"If I could get you to watch football, you'd be the perfect friend" he teased.

Patrick and Nathalie spent the rest of the night reminiscing and finalizing the plans for the funeral. By the time he got to bed he was emotionally spent. He picked up his phone and dialed Robin's number. He wanted to hear her voice, have her tell him he could get through it. It was difficult to contain his disappointment when he got her voicemail. He hung up without leaving a message.

The day before the funeral was spent going over details with the priest and the rest of Andrew's family who had arrived in a steady stream. He took the kids to the park to give them a break from the sadness in the house.

"Patty?" Grace asked as she swung on the swing.

"Yes baby" he asked as he pushed her.

"My daddy's in heaven, right?"

Patrick bit his lip to keep from crying. "Yes Gracie – your daddy is in heaven."

"Can we go visit?"

Patrick breathed in sharply and silently cursed Andrew and Nathalie for having such a bright child. "Um, no baby we can't visit, like you visit your grandma but you know, if we close our eyes and think about him – that's like a visit" He ran his hands through his hair hoping he wasn't scaring the child somehow or filling her with the wrong ideas. He couldn't deal with death himself, how could he be expected to explain it to a child?

He dialed Robin's number several more times but hung up before the call could be connected. He wasn't sure what he was more afraid of - her answering the call or not answering the call. The last time, he snapped his phone shut and resolved not to call her again until he returned to Port Charles. It was a sleepless night and eventually accepting that he wouldn't sleep, got up and began to flip through the numerous photo albums that Nathalie had painstakingly put together over the years.

It rained the morning of the funeral and Patrick thought it appropriate that the weather reflected his feelings. He got Oliver changed while Nathalie took care of Grace. The whole family assembled at the house before leaving for the church. Nathalie had asked him to a pallbearer and he had agreed.

Andrew's father, his sister, two of his colleagues and Nathalie's brother joined him in carrying the casket into the church. The funeral ceremony passed in a complete fog for Patrick and his only sharp memory was when Grace climbed into his lap and played with his tie. He had yet to cry and by the end of the funeral, he was hoping that some tears would finally fall but none did.

He joined the others for the procession back down the aisle and out the church. As they neared the back of the church, Patrick turned his head and did a small double take.

There, in one of the last pews, was Robin. She gave him a small smile and a wink.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Patrick stood on the church steps as the casket was loaded into the hearse. The sun had made an appearance and was beating down on all of them in their dark clothes. He was sure that he had imagined her there, there was just no way that she had flown to Washington for the funeral of man she didn't know.

Nathalie walked over to him. "Pat, could you hold Oliver? I have to talk to the priest and Gracie is insisting on being in my arms."

"Sure, pass the little man over" he said, holding out his arms. Oliver was asleep and Patrick took him, holding him against his shoulder. Nathalie smiled appreciatively before picking up Grace and heading over to talk to the priest. Patrick stared at the departing hearse still not believing that his best friend, the one person who knew everything about him and loved him anyways was in that car.

"Hey" came the quiet voice.

Patrick turned his head and exhaled quietly – he hadn't been dreaming. "You're a sight for sore eyes"

Robin smiled. "I hope it's okay that I came, I just didn't want you to…you know…"

Patrick reached for her hand. "I'm really glad you're here."

She squeezed his hand. "So, who's the little one on your shoulder?"

Patrick smiled. "This is Oliver. I envy his ability to sleep anywhere."

"Yeah – when exactly did we lose that ability?"

He shook his head "I don't know but I wouldn't mind a second chance at it."

They stood in silence watching the mourners mill about. Patrick kept hold of her hand, unwilling to let it go. As people started to get into their cars to head back to Nathalie's house, Robin dropped his hand.

"It looks like everyone's leaving. I should go too."

He turned to her. "Come back to the house."

Robin tucked her hair behind her ears. "Oh, Patrick, I..I don't think so. It's for family and friends and …you should go be with them."

"You're my friend. Please come."

There was such an intense vulnerability to him that Robin was powerless to resist. "Okay, if you're sure."

"I'm sure. Stay here, I'll be right back." He scrambled down the steps and spoke briefly to Nathalie, handing Oliver back to her before returning to Robin. "I assume you rented a car?" She nodded. "Pass me the keys and I'll drive us."

They said nothing on the drive back to the house. As he parked the car, Robin was suddenly overcome by shyness. She was entering a part of Patrick's world that she had never seen. In fact, she had never heard him speak of Andrew until he received that terrible phone call. He opened her door for her and held out his hand.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

Patrick gave her a quizzical look. "Yes" She placed her hand in his and walked with him up the long drive. They had just stepped in the door when Grace came bounding down the hall.

"Patty! Patty!" she yelled as she launched herself at him.

Patrick bent down and caught her. "Gracie-lou"

"Who loves you?"

"I love you" he said, kissing her cheek. He blushed slightly at the thought of Robin watching him like that. Grace covered his face in kisses. She stopped when she spotted Robin standing beside Patrick.

"My name is Grace" she announced proudly.

"It's very nice to meet you Grace. I'm Robin."

"Are you Patrick's girlfriend?" Robin's mouth fell open, stunned.

"No Gracie" Patrick interceded. "She's a friend and a girl but she's not my girlfriend."

"Good."

Robin chuckled. "Good?"

"Because Patty and me are getting married when I'm older, like 10"

Robin covered her mouth with her hand to hide her laughter. Patrick looked at her sheepishly. "All this time I thought you didn't want commitment" she teased "turns out it's because you're promised to someone else."

"Shut up" he said kindly.

"Ooh! Patty, shut up is a bad word."

"Yeah, Patty. Shut up is a bad word" Robin echoed.

"You're right Grace, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it." He set her down on the ground. "I think I saw your grandma in the kitchen, why don't you go find her and ask for some juice."

"K. Bye Robin."

"Bye Grace"

They watched her run down the hall, blonde hair flying behind her. "Not a word Scorpio, not one word."

"What?" she said with faux innocence.

"Would you like to meet Nathalie, Andrew's wife?"

"I would like that a lot."

Patrick again took her by the hand and led her into the sitting room, overflowing with people. Nathalie was in hostess mode, ensuring people had enough coffee, sandwiches and sweets. She was carrying a tray and nearly spilled the entire thing on Patrick. He took it from her hands and put it on the nearest table.

"Honestly Nat – let someone else do that." She nodded. "Nathalie, this is my friend Robin Scorpio. Robin, this is Nathalie Walker."

Robin shook her hand. "I am so very sorry for your loss."

"Thanks very much. It's been a godsend to have P here though. The kids love him – probably because he's a big kid himself."

"I can only imagine" Robin said lightly.

"Hey!" he protested.

"Drew and Patrick bought a race track for Oliver for Christmas, who I would like to point out was only three months old at the time…"

"Gotta get them started young" Patrick said defensively.

"Whatever. They stayed up all night playing with it. I came down in the morning and they were still playing – grown men with medical degrees!"

Robin laughed. "Nathalie, it's been my experience that a medical degree is not protection from juvenile behaviour."

"Tell me about it."

"Okay okay" Patrick interrupted. "I'm not sure that I like where this conversation is going. I'm taking Robin to the kitchen."

Nathalie smiled at her friend and the way he seemed to come to life around the dark haired beauty. "Robin, I have tons of stories, you know, just in case you need some ammunition."

Robin smiled broadly. "We so need to talk"

"Ah, no. No you don't" Patrick said pulling her away.

Robin watched as Patrick circulated among Andrew's family and friends. It was clear to her how loved he was by them and it felt like she was seeing a missing piece of the Patrick Drake puzzle.

As the crowd thinned out, Patrick came to find Robin who was colouring with Grace. "What are you guys doing?"

"We're drawing Patty"

"I see – and what are you drawing?"

"Daddy's an angel" she said holding up her picture. "There's Mommy, and Oliver and you and up here is Daddy 'cause he's in heaven. Robin said it was okay if I put wings on him – it is, right?"

Patrick fought his tears and smiled at Robin. Kissing Grace's head he said "Of course it's okay to give him wings. It means he can fly over you and see you whenever he wants"

"Good" she turned back to colouring.

Robin looked up at Patrick. "Kids are a lot more resilient than we are" she said quietly.

Patrick nodded. "Care to come for a walk?"

"Sure" she said standing up. "Grace, I'm going to go for a walk with Patrick"

"K – bye" she said not looking up from her picture.

Patrick took her hand as they walked outside. "You were great with her."

"I was thinking the same thing about you."

He gave her a half smile. "Andrew said they were my training family"

She tilted her head. "I've never asked you but do you want kids?"

Patrick stared straight ahead. "Most of the time the answer is no."

"And the rest of the time?"

"The rest of the time, when I'm reading Gracie a story or when Oliver smiles at me, I think it could be cool. Andrew wasn't a family type of guy either – he was married to his work."

"What happened?"

"Nathalie. She's a lawyer –they met at a party and he couldn't stop thinking about her. She's tough as nails and made him work for it."

"Sounds like it paid off in the end."

"Yeah" he said thickly as they arrived at the park. Patrick sat on a swing "except she only had five years with him and now she's alone to raise those kids. Grace doesn't quite understand what's going on and Oliver will have no memory of his father."

Robin sat on the swing beside him. "That's what you're for Patrick. You along with Nathalie will tell those kids everything about their father – you'll make him very real for them."

"That's stupid – I shouldn't have to do that – he should be here."

"I'm sorry" she whispered.

"You know, I hadn't spoken to him in almost a month. I left him a couple of messages but I got busy with work and I just kept putting off calling him." Patrick swallowed "And now…now I can't call him ever again."

Robin turned her swing to face him and waited. She knew he was angry and scared and incredibly sad and if she sat quietly with him, he would start to open up.

"How did you know where the funeral was?" he asked quietly.

"Noah"

"Ah."

"I was surprised that he wasn't here."

"I asked him not to come"

"Why?"

"My father has avoided funerals since my mom's and I didn't want him under that kind of stress. I can't cope if he starts to drink again." Patrick held his hand out to her and standing up from her swing, she took it. He pulled her onto his lap. Robin put her arm around his shoulder. "I'm really glad you came" he whispered.

"I took a chance that you might need me" she said, dizzy from the closeness. She breathed in his heady scent and closed her eyes.

"I do need you" he said huskily as he kissed her cheek.

She shifted in his lap. "Patrick, this is dangerous" she warned.

He ran his fingers along her back, while holding tightly to her hip with his other hand. He traced circles on her ear lobe with her tongue, eliciting a small moan from her. Opening his mouth on her neck, he slowly kissed the skin. "I need you Robin" he whispered against her skin. Continuing to kiss her neck, he murmured into her neck "Come to bed with me"

Robin closed her eyes and slowly slid off his lap, standing in front of him. "I can't and it's not fair to ask me" she said quietly, tears beginning to pool in her eyes.

"Why not?" he said.

"You only want because you think if we have sex, it will take some of the pain away."

"That's not the only reason I want you" he whispered.

"And" she continued, ignoring his statement. "I'm with Bruce"

"Fine – whatever" he said dismissively. He tried to stand but Robin pushed him back against the swing. "I never knew you liked it rough Scorpio – is that something Harris has taught you?" he said bitterly.

Robin flinched slightly but didn't move. "Don't you ever get tired of it?"

"Of being rejected by you? Yes. I won't make that mistake again."

"Don't you ever get tired of it?" she repeated "Tired of running – from your feelings. Wouldn't you like to know what it's like to just stand still – stand still and feel?"

Patrick kept his eyes on the ground. "I don't need a lecture" he said quietly.

"It's not a lecture Patrick. I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine – trust me when I tell you I'm feeling things."

She shook her head. "That's not what it looks like from here – from here it looks like you're trying to outrun your feelings – thinking if you keep moving, stay in motion, you won't feel the pain." He looked up at her, tears in his eyes and quickly looked back at the ground. "The thing is, Patrick, pain is patient and it will lie in wait and grab hold of you when you least expect it."

"What do you want from me Robin?" he said somewhat angrily.

She stared at him but he wouldn't meet her eyes. "Nothing" she said softly. "But when you need to talk about it, I'll be around" she stepped forward and kissed the top of his head before turning and walking back to the house.

Patrick stared up at the night sky, the overflow of tears finally spilling over.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Patrick loosened his tie and slowly walked back to the house. All the cars were gone by the time he walked through the door. The house had an eerie silence about – like it was in mourning too. He walked to the backyard and found Nathalie sitting on the deck, sipping wine.

"I have a second glass, if you want some" she said looking over at him.

Patrick joined her on the next chair and took the glass from her. "It's a beautiful night" he said quietly.

"So Robin left"

Leaning forward, with his elbows on his legs, he turned to look at his friend. "Are we going to do this?"

"By this, do you mean where I make you talk about the girl you are obviously crazy about?" Patrick said nothing. "Yes – we are going to do this."

"Why?" he sighed.

"Because our options for conversation are Andrew" she whispered his name "or Robin. I choose Robin."

Patrick gave a small smile. "That's not true, we could talk about how Alexander Ovechkin is the greatest rookie hockey player since Gretzky."

"Who and who?" Nathalie asked.

"See – this is why you are not the perfect friend."

"I'm surprisingly okay with that P. So Robin…."

He leaned back into the chair. "What do you want to know?"

"Why did she leave?"

Patrick took a long drink of his wine. "Was she upset?"

Nathalie shook her head. "Not at all. In fact she was quite kind, Grace insisted on walking her to her car. Why would she be upset?"

"I propositioned her" he said simply.

"Turned you down?"

"I'm here aren't I?" he said resignedly

"New experience for you?" she teased.

"Hardly. Getting turned down by Robin is a relatively regular occurrence."

"Hmmm – and yet – you keep trying."

"She has a boyfriend" he blurted.

"And that bugs you?"

"He's an asshole"

"Ah" she said knowingly.

"No Nat, I'm not jealous – he's really an asshole."

"So do something about it."

"Like what?"

"Convince her to leave him"

"She wants a relationship and I can't give her one."

Nathalie leaned back into her chair and pulled her knees to her chest. She studied his face and saw the evidence of the struggle. "Drew told me about her."

"Told you what?" he asked suspiciously.

"That you wouldn't stop talking about her. I do think you said, she was really smart for a researcher" Patrick grinned. "And you peppered him with questions about HIV and AIDS research."

Patrick shrugged. "I'm interested in the scientific advances"

"You are the worst liar in the world Patrick Drake. You were asking Drew back in March about it."

Patrick ran his finger around the rim of his glass. "We had an encephalitis outbreak in the city and every day it seemed like there were a 100 new cases. The hospital was quarantined and I tried to convince her to leave but she is possibly the most stubborn, hard-headed person I have ever met. At first I was glad she didn't leave because, Nat- you should have seen her – she was brilliant. She found a way to make the antidote go further. These were her friends, her loved ones who were sick and she soldiered on when others couldn't – sheer force of personality."

"What happened?" she asked quietly.

Patrick swallowed. "She got sick" he said simply. "Long after the incubation period, she got really sick. We had one dose of the antidote left and it was earmarked for her but she refused."

"What? Why?"

"She said it was because there were other patients sicker than her."

"Were there?"

"It was debatable – she was pretty sick. But I think the real reason she refused it was because with her HIV, she didn't want to take it at the expense of someone else." Patrick drained his glass. "It was the single most courageous and selfless act I have ever seen."

"Obviously she got some of the antidote in the end?"

"Yeah" he nodded. "But it was touch and go for a while. I haven't been scared that like in a long time. Anyways" he said trying to change the tone "I called Drew to see if there were any complications or experimental meds that he might know of in case her situation got worse."

"I see"

"She makes me mental. She has expectations of people.."

"And you don't?"

Patrick looked at her quizzically. "No I don't – live and let live"

"Riiight. Patrick-bad or good, expectations are expectations – you expect the people in your life to let you down and you just kind of wait for it to happen."

"I don't.."

She raised her hand. "You know, not that your ego needs to know how much time Drew spent talking about you …but it was a lot. He would tell me about his failed attempts to get you and your father to reconcile and how you kept refusing. I mean, it was clear to me even if it wasn't to you, that you wouldn't make up with Noah – not because you were still mad at him - because you were afraid he'd let you down all over again"

"What's your point lawyer lady?" he asked as he poured them both another glass of wine.

"My point is, you push people away so that you don't have to worry about them leaving you."

"You talk too much, you know that?" he said lightly.

"Control freak"

"Shark" he retorted.

Patrick inhaled, breathing the cool night air. "She is the single most frustrating human being I have ever met."

"Tell me some of the things you like about her."

Patrick raised his eyebrows. "Do I have to?" he whined.

"Yes" she nodded. "Look, Pat, she flew from Port Charles to DC to be at the funeral of man she never knew, in support of you – which, for the record – tells me everything I need to know about her but I want to hear you say some good things."

Patrick sighed, sipping his wine. He stared straight ahead, watching the floating lights move around the pool. "She's brave – not because she has HIV but because.." he sighed again "she's been kicked around some and yet she doesn't let it stop her. She watched the love of her life die and regardless of how painful that was, she's willing to get back in the game. She's compassionate and enormously kind. She also has a wicked sense of humour" he smiled at the memory of her laugh.

Nathalie stared at her friend and reached for his hand. "You're in love with her" she stated.

"Yup"

"What are you going to do about it?"

Patrick shook his head. "Nothing. I had my shot" he said quietly.

Nathalie held his hand for a while, two friends bonded by their grief. The baby monitor began to squawk with Oliver's crying for a bottle.

"I better go feed him" she said getting up, putting her wine glass down. She stopped in front of Patrick, putting her hands on his shoulders. He looked up.

"In case you were wondering, if I had to do over, I would take five short years with Andrew over never having loved him – every time." She dropped a kiss on his head and went inside.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Robin tried to stifle her yawn as she approached the Nurses Station.

"Late night with Bruce?" Liz teased.

Robin shook her head. "No – I was on the first flight out of DC yesterday and ended up having to sleep at the airport so I wouldn't miss it. I guess I haven't caught up yet – I'm pretty tired these days."

"Sleep at the airport? Why didn't you just get a hotel?"

Robin picked up her message slips. "I..uh…I was supposed to be on an earlier flight but I missed it."

"Should I ask?"

"Please don't"

"Alright" Liz conceded "but how about I buy you a coffee?"

"That would be great."

Robin and Liz walked to the cafeteria and had barely sat down before Liz started in on questions. "So – tell me about Bruce?"

Robin blushed. "What do you want to know?"

"You've been spending a lot of time with him – is it serious?"

"Serious?" Robin laughed "I think it's a little early for that. He's really busy with his campaign, I don't see him that much."

"But you went to the City with him and his press conference- Lucky and I saw you on the news!"

"That was fun" she smiled. "I got to read to the kids at the school and you know, he was born to do this – he's going to be great Senator." Liz narrowed her eyes slightly. "What?" Robin asked.

"How does he make you feel?"

"Make me feel?" she parroted.

"Yeah – does he make you squishy or floppy or make your knees weak?"

Robin frowned. "Liz, every relationship is different and sometimes squishy comes later"

"So that's a 'no' on the squishy?"

Robin sighed. "Have you been talking to my father? It's nice just to be with someone that I'm not fighting with or fighting for attention from. Bruce gives me lots of attention, he asks my opinion on things and he treats me well."

"But no squishy?"

"Does Lucky still make you squishy?"

"Every day" she replied confidently. "Look, Robs, I think you're great – you know that – and I know that you got kinda burned by your attraction to Patrick – but just … don't settle."

"Who says I'm settling?" she said sharply.

"Whoa – I'm not saying your settling, I'm just saying make sure you don't."

"Bruce is great and I wish you and my father and Brenda would all just back off, okay?" she said, getting up. "I'll talk to you later."

Liz watched her friend leave the cafeteria. She got the feeling she was willing herself to be happy with Bruce but no one's personality, not even Robin's is strong enough to force feelings that aren't there.

Robin was furious as she walked to her lab. Why couldn't everyone just leave her be about Bruce? It was never going to happen between her and Patrick and she needed to move on. Bruce was as good a place as any to start. As she continued down the hallway, she heard Patrick's voice coming from inside Noah's office. Unable to help herself, she stood against the wall eavesdropping.

"How is Nathalie doing?" Noah asked.

"Numb"

"And you?"

"About the same" he said quietly. "I just…I can't believe he's gone."

"I know you loved him a lot sport – I am so sorry."

"Thanks" he sniffed. "I still feel like I'm in a fog or a really bad dream. I can't sleep very much and I …" he exhaled "I miss him"

"I know Patrick" Noah said soothingly.

"Thanks for um, giving Robin the funeral information."

"So she went in the end?"

"What do you mean?" Patrick asked curiously. Uncomfortable eavesdropping, Robin headed back down the corridor, taking the long way to her lab.

"She came to see me and asked about Andrew's funeral but felt it might upset you if she was there."

"Why?"

"I don't really know Patrick. She mentioned something about things having changed between the two of you and she wasn't sure of her place in your life or something like that. Have you ever noticed that she talks a lot without taking a breath?"

Patrick smirked. "I had noticed, in fact."

"Son, it's not really my business and you'll tell me that I'm sure, but what the hell is going on between you two?"

Patrick ran his hands over his face. "Nothing at the moment – she's dating whatshisface."

"The Senator?" Noah said sarcastically

"Yeah him."

"And you don't think she'd drop him for you if you asked?"

"I don't know Dad – I can't ask her to do that if I'm not sure I can give her what she wants…or needs"

"Did you guys talk at the funeral?"

Patrick nodded and for a brief moment he pictured their moment on the swings, the taste of her skin, the heat from her body. He shook the image from his mind. "I couldn't have got through the day without her there. She didn't even say much, you know – she just…"

"Let you lean on her?" he offered.

"Yeah. She was great with Grace too – they were drawing pictures together. You know it didn't seem to matter who she was with – Mr. and Mrs. Walker or Nathalie's grandmother or the kids – she was just able to put people at ease."

Noah nodded knowingly. "Any chance you told her that you were glad she was there?"

"Kind of" he said sheepishly, again flashing back to the swing.

"Maybe – just maybe – now that you're back at work, you could let her know how much you appreciate her."

Patrick raised an eyebrow "Are you match-making?"

He shrugged. "I'm just saying, a little thank you wouldn't be out of order here"

"Don't push Dad" he said quietly.

"Not pushing, just suggesting."

Patrick stood up. "Thanks for your help…you know…before."

"I love you Patrick" he said, embracing his son.

"Me too" he whispered

Patrick saw her through the lab window. He thought back to his conversation with Nathalie on the deck. It had taken him nothing to admit to her that he was in love with Robin, even though he had been unable to admit it to himself. But being in love with someone and acting on it were two different things and he was not confident of his ability in the latter. He sighed as he knocked on the door.

She looked up through her goggles and gave him a shy smile. Pulling the goggles off, she waved him in.

"I didn't realize you were back" she lied.

"I have a surgery this evening and I didn't want to have to reschedule. Besides, what am I going to do, mope around my hotel room?"

Robin grinned. "And how long do you plan on living at a hotel?"

"Why, are you looking for a roommate?" he teased.

"No thanks, I've lived in residence and have had enough of sweaty socks and wet towels on the floor to last a lifetime."

"Maybe I don't put wet towels on the floor?"

"Are you a man?" Patrick nodded. "You put wet towels on the floor."

Patrick laughed. "Pretty sure of yourself Scorpio."

"Always." She tilted her head. "How are you coping?"

Patrick shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I don't know, I haven't tried to call him yet today, so I think that's progress." He looked down at the ground "Listen, Robin about what happened on the swings…."

"Oh my god - Robin – there you are!" Both turned to the door and saw Lulu Spencer standing there.

"Lulu?" Robin asked "Is everything okay?"

"I don't know – I mean I'm here with Nikolas for a check up for Spencer and I was flipping through the papers they leave in the waiting area and I saw this" She walked to Robin and handed her that day's edition of the New York Post. "Did you know?"

Patrick watched as the colour drained from her face and she swallowed thickly. "No, I, ah, I had no idea" She blinked to keep the tears at bay.

"Congratulations Patrick – you were right" she said, throwing the paper on the counter before running from the lab.

Bewildered, Patrick picked up the paper and his mouth fell open. The front page featured a full photo of Robin and Bruce at his press conference with a headline:

**  
THE FACE OF COMPASSION**

Senate hopeful and his HIV+ Girlfriend.

"Did you take the short bus to work today?" Lulu said smacking him on the arm.

"What?" he said, giving her a confused look.

"Stop standing here and go after her"


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Robin pushed open the front doors of the hospital and began to walk quickly. Her mind was racing. On the front page of the newspaper – she was on the front page of a newspaper. She couldn't believe it. Her heart was pounding and her breath was coming in short spurts. Passing a newsstand, she stopped suddenly. Hanging from the display was a copy of the Post with her photo on it. Walking slowly towards the stand, she picked up the entire pile of newspapers and plopped them on the counter.

"I would like to buy these please"

The vendor frowned at her. "Lady, you can't buy all the newspapers"

"Why not? I have money – you don't have a sign that says only one newspaper per person" she spoke slowly "so I would like to buy these newspapers."

He scratched his head. "But what if someone else wants the Post?"

"Then tell them it's sold out – now do you want my money or not?"

"I'm not sure…"

Robin shoved the money at him. "I am" Grabbing the papers in her arms, she walked away.

Patrick was panting and sweating. He had checked the roof of the hospital, her office, the cafeteria and the garden in the back. He checked Jakes's and was just leaving Kelly's after Georgie and Mike had both assured him they hadn't seen her. He had called her cell and her apartment and was close to admitting defeat and calling her father. He walked towards to docks so he could collect his thoughts and come up with a game plan. After Robin had taken care of him, there was no way he was going to let her down. He stopped as he saw her tiny figure, sitting on the dock, legs dangling over the pier. She was balling up paper and making a pile beside her. He sat down beside her.

"You okay?"

"Sure" she replied not looking up, continuing to ball up the papers.

"I don't believe you" he said quietly.

"Oh well" she sighed.

He took hold of her hands. "Robin, stop."

She looked at him. "You must be loving this."

"What?" he asked skeptically.

"You warned me that my life would be up for examination and look at that – wham! Naked on the front page of the Post. So what do you figure – 12-13 million people know I have HIV? That'll save me from telling any future sexual partners, I can just give them a copy of the newspaper" Robin's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Robin, I didn't…"

She held up her hands. "Stop – don't say you didn't want this to happen to me – because it changes nothing. I'm still exposed for the world to see."

Patrick ran his hand through his hair. "What are you going to do?"

"I guess I'm going to Manhattan to talk to my boyfriend about this" she said flatly.

"Do you…I could…I could go with you"

"Why would I need you?"

Patrick flinched slightly. "I don't know…" he licked his bottom lip "I thought you might need a friend" he said quietly.

She shook her head. "Got it covered, thanks" She picked up the newspapers and stalked off, leaving Patrick alone on the docks.

Dejected, he stood up and walked back to the hospital. Pausing at the entrance to the hospital, he put money in the newspaper box and pulling it open, emptied of its newspapers.

Carrying them inside, he went to the office that Nikolas Cassadine kept at the hospital. Knocking on the door, he pushed it open without waiting for Nikolas to answer.

"Patrick" he looked up in surprise. "What brings you by?"

"I want you to get Bruce Harris off the hospital board immediately."

Nikolas chuckled. "Why would I do that?"

"Didn't your sister show you today's newspaper?" he asked, tossing the pile on Nikolas' desk.

Nikolas picked up the first paper and let out a low whistle. "How is Robin?"

"Pissed and shut down, how do you think she is?"

He pursed his lips together. "Sounds about right. What does Bruce Harris have to do with this?"

"He planted the story"

Nikolas' eyes bugged out. "He did? How do you know?"

"Because I know his type and this is exactly the type of stunt they would pull in an election year."

"So you don't actually have any proof?"

"Are you looking at the front page of that paper?!" he asked, raising his voice. "What more proof do you need? They might as well have published nude photos of her."

Nikolas sighed. "Patrick, I understand that you're upset but unless you can actually prove to me that he was behind this, I certainly don't have grounds to terminate his participation on the board."

"I thought Robin was your friend" he spat.

Nikolas took a step towards Patrick. "She is – and she is more important to me than you know but you have no proof that Robin's BOYFRIEND did this. Get some and I will personally throw him out of the hospital"

Patrick shook his head and left, leaving the newspapers on Nikolas' desk.

Robin got on the first available shuttle to Manhattan. She had gone home and changed. Putting on a black skirt, black t-shirt and black boots, she dressed to reflect her mood. Having checked the daily itinerary that Bruce emailed he, she knew he could be found at his suite.

She didn't even wait for permission from his assistant before barging into the inner room. Throwing the paper on the table, she said evenly "What the hell is this?"

Everyone looked up in surprise. Bruce stood up immediately. "Robin, this is an unexpected surprise."

"Really?" she said arching an eyebrow. "You didn't think I would come once you sold me out to the newspapers?"

Bruce did a double take. "Honey, what are you talking about?"

"Look at the fucking newspaper Bruce" she hissed.

Bruce looked down at the paper she had tossed on the table and showed it to his campaign manager, Chase. Looking around the table he said "Guys, can we have the room please?"

Everyone picked up their things and scurried out, no one meeting Robin's eye. Bruce walked over to Robin and put his hand on her shoulder. Robin shrugged it off. "Robin, I can only imagine how upset you are"

"Really? I don't think you can Bruce. I've known you for a long time and while you're bright – you aren't that imaginative. How could you?"

He frowned. "How could I what?" he asked quietly.

"HOW COULD YOU SELL ME OUT?" she screamed at him. "I have spent my entire adult life trying to be more than the girl with HIV, trying not to be defined by my disease and in one moment a LIFETIME of work is undone – HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME??"

Bruce's mouth dropped open slightly. "You think I did this? Robin, do you really think that I would do something like this to you?"  
"How else do they know?? If you didn't tell them WHO DID?" her eyes were blazing and every muscle in her body was twitching.

Bruce reached for her hands and though she tried to shake them off, he held onto them tightly. He guided her to a chair. "Robin, sweetie – that you are HIV+ is not a secret and a even a bad reporter wouldn't have to dig very far to find it out. You've given hundreds of speeches over the years and been a presenter at conferences. I didn't do this" he said simply "I wouldn't do this. I am so sorry, baby. I am."

Robin glared at him before her face crumpled and she dissolved into tears. "I'm sorry I accused you. I just – when I saw the headline" her breathing was ragged "I just, I lost it – that's my life – that's.my.life. I want a retraction."

"We can't get one"

"What? Why not?" her voice flashed with anger.

"Because Robin, in order for the newspaper to retract what they've written, it would have to be untrue – this isn't – they can write about this."

"I just feel so bare, so completely exposed"

Bruce pulled her into his arms and let her cry into his shoulder. "I'm sorry baby – I'm so very sorry." He kissed her cheek and held her tightly. "I will understand if this isn't for you and you need to leave me in the middle of this campaign. I'd miss having you with me and I'd miss talking about the platform and running ideas by you but I would completely understand."

Robin nervously tucked her hair behind her ears. She shook her head. "I won't abandon you in the middle of this – I'm sorry I blamed you. I want to be here to support you."

He cupped her face and kissed her lips. "Listen, I have to give a speech tonight but why don't you run a bath, relax, order some room service and when I get back we can curl up in front of a movie?"

"There's probably a late shuttle I can catch to go home."

He held her hands again. "Please stay. I'll have someone take you to the airport for the early morning shuttle, but I'd really like you to spend the night. I miss you."

Robin smiled weakly. "I miss you too"

"Good. Then it's settled – you're staying. Order room service, put on a fluffy robe and we'll spend some time together when I get back."

She paused for a minute. "Okay. I didn't mean to bust up your meeting."

Bruce smiled. "Trust me when I tell you that seeing you all fired up is a good way to end a meeting."

Robin covered her face with her hands. "I'm so embarrassed."

"Don't be – you were upset and with every reason to be. Besides, you're kind of hot in your ninja outfit."

Robin smiled and leaning in, captured her lips with his. "Thanks for being so understanding."

"No thanks needed. I'll see you in a couple of hours" He brushed her lips again before heading out.

Robin picked up the paper again and traced her fingers of the words "HIV+ Girlfriend"

"What am I doing?" she wondered out loud.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Robin had a fitful sleep and woke a full hour before her alarm went off. Sliding from bed, she wrapped her robe around her and walked quietly to the outer room. The room looked abandoned with no one answering phones and the five television sets, normally tuned to cable news, turned off. She sat on the couch and pulled her legs to her chest. She had never felt more out of place in her life. Looking around the room she knew this wasn't who she was. She never craved the spotlight. She had only ever agreed to give speeches because she believed in the obligation of the living. If you were fortunate enough to still be alive and still be healthy then you had a moral responsibility to take the message to others.

Love and HIV were the only two things in her life more powerful than her and they were impossibly entwined.

Normally decision-making came easily to her but there was a pull from Bruce that she couldn't shake. She didn't love him and despite what she had told Liz, she didn't think the squishy feelings were going to come any time soon. But she felt like she would be deserting him when he needed her most. He had been a good friend in Paris and didn't want to disappoint him. She resolved that she would support him until the election and then slip from his life. They were supposed to have dinner in Port Charles on the weekend and she would tell him then.

Checking her watch, she returned to the bedroom and took her purse into the bathroom for her morning protocol. She changed back into her clothes from the night before and scribbled a note to Bruce, who was still sound asleep. Kissing his cheek, she pulled the door shut behind her and had the concierge hail a taxi to take her to the airport.

She thought of Patrick on her way home and how rude she had been to him. An apology would be in order and she made a note to find him when she got to work. She noticed several camera crews outside her building when the taxi pulled up. She looked around for police tape or some kind of evidence of a crime that would draw such a media circus at 8 in the morning. Having paid the taxi driver, Robin stepped out of the car and was swarmed by the media.

"Robin! Robin – how did you get HIV? Is it true you were a drug user? How did you think this will affect your boyfriend's chances for the seat? Is it true you're an advisor to the Clinton Foundation? Have you met Clinton? Did he hit on you?"

Robin swallowed and stared like a deer caught in headlights. Unable to move and incapable of answering any questions, she stood, waiting for them to go away.

"Get the hell away from her" the voice growled.

Recognizing the voice she turned her head. "Dad?"

Robert stepped in front of his daughter and walked menacingly towards the cameramen. "I said" his Australian accent becoming more pronounced "get away from my daughter or I will break you"

Grabbing Robin's hand, he pulled her past the media horde and into her building. He tugged her into the waiting elevator and away from the cameras before taking her in his arms.

"Daddy – how did you know?" she said into his chest.

"I saw the paper yesterday luv. I came by your apartment and Patrick said he thought you might be in Manhattan with tricky dicky."

Robin stepped back. "Patrick was here?"

Robert nodded. "He was waiting outside in case you came back – seemed quite concerned about you actually." He took her keys from her hands and unlocked her door. "Have a seat and I'll put the kettle on."

Robin sank to the couch, still stunned at the surreal experience that had greeted her downstairs. She gratefully accepted a cup of tea from her father. "Tea's good" she said, taking a sip.

"Did you, uh, have you taken your meds?" he asked nervously.

Robin smiled kindly. "Yes, I did."

"Does it bother you if I ask you about them – I just…I missed so much and I don't know what's okay"

She put her hand on her father's leg. "You're my dad – you can ask me anything."

"Good, because I've been meaning…"

"But" she interrupted "it doesn't mean I'll answer"

Robert chuckled. "Fair enough"

"I'm sorry about the papers."

Robert furrowed his brow "What the hell do you have to be sorry for?"

"Well, it's not …you know…no one needed to read that. I hope you weren't embarrassed."

Robert stared at his daughter. Reaching over, he took the tea cup from her hands and placed it on the table. "Robin, look at me" he commanded. Robin looked at her father. "You are my beautiful, brave, strong, incredibly brilliant daughter –I am proud of you and I could never, ever be embarrassed by you."

Robin wiped at the tears that had appeared unexpectedly. "Thanks Dad."

"Now what the hell is going on?"

She sighed. "I flew to the city and accused Bruce of planting the story but he very rightly pointed out that I have given so many speeches on the subject that it wouldn't take a reporter more than 30 seconds to Google me and find out. I just never imagined that this would happen."

"And you believe him?"

"Why wouldn't I?" she asked sharply.

"I don't like him Robin"

"You didn't like Patrick either."

"Nor that thug, Jason"

"You didn't know Jason when I dated him"

"Doesn't mean I liked him."

"You'd be happier if I never dated."

"Most fathers would"

"I'm sure this will blow over quickly" she said.

"Is he worth this Robin? Does he make you so happy you're willing to endure anything?"

Robin stood and picked up their teacups. "I have to get ready for work."

Robert stared after her as she walked to the kitchen. "I'll wait for you"

"Why?" she asked suspiciously.

"In case those hyenas are down there when you leave."

She gave him a half smile. "Okay –thanks."

Robin showered and changed and was grateful to have her father to run interference as there were still several reporters waiting for her as the exited the building. Robert growled and pushed and eventually they got the idea and left her alone. He gave her a kiss on the cheek at the hospital entrance.

"You call me if you need someone to walk you home"

"Thanks Dad."

Robin took a deep breath and walked through the front doors of the hospital. She felt safe within the walls of the hospital. This was her element, where she belonged. It felt like home. Stopping for a coffee in the cafeteria, she took refuge in her lab. Her cell phone buzzed almost immediately and flipping it open saw a text message.

_Miss you already. Thx for staying. Bruce _

Robin sighed and flipped the phone shut again. Right now, all she wanted was some peace.

Patrick had dropped a third scalpel and momentarily stepped back from the patient.

"Is there a problem, Dr. Drake?" Epiphany asked.

"No dammit, but when I call for an instrument, I expect it to be put firmly into my hand so I can grip it" he groused, reaching for a scalpel himself.

He looked down at the patient, a young man who had an accident on a construction site. They were about the same age and every once in a while when Patrick would look at him, he would see Andrew's face and not the patient's. He shook his head, trying to clear his field of vision.

Epiphany noticed the normally cocky doctor was having difficulty focusing. "Dr. Drake, I think we should call another surgeon to scrub in."

"Nurse Johnson are you questioning my ability?" he asked angrily.

"Right now Dr. Drake I am." She turned to the anesthesiologist "Keep him stable." She walked to phone and placed a call.

Patrick glared at her over his mask. "Nurse Johnson hang up that phone"

"Not on that patient's life. Step away from the table doctor."

"I don't take orders from nurses"

She glared back at him and completed her phone call.

Within minutes Noah came through the doors, ready to go. One look at his son told him that he wasn't doing well. He was pale and his eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep.

"Patrick, what's going on?"

"Well I have this patient's head open but Nurse Johnson won't assist me in operating."

Noah looked at Epiphany. He knew the no nonsense nurse would not have called him in if she wasn't sure something was wrong. "Patrick scrub out."

"What?" he asked harshly.

"You heard me, I'm the senior surgeon – scrub out and sign out. You shouldn't be working today."

"Fuck you Dad"

Noah shrugged. "Maybe later son, but right now you need to scrub out and I need to operate."

Patrick stormed from the OR, ripping of his gown and mask and kicking every garbage can in his way. He stomped to the hospital roof, kicking the bricks at the ledge.

"God dammit!" he yelled.

Folding his arms across him, he stared out over the city. He had been dropping things quite a bit in the last couple of days. His normally steady hands had betrayed him. He didn't know what was wrong but wished the fog that had enveloped his brain would dissipate. Sleep had only been an idea in the last few nights and his body was fatigued to his bones. He heard the door creak open and spun around.

"Robin" he called to her.

She turned around slowly. She had been standing at the far edge of the roof and was trying to leave him with his thoughts and sneak back downstairs. "Hi"

"What …uh…what are you doing up here?"

Her hand was still on the doorknob. "Trying to quiet my head. You?"

"Had nowhere else to go"

"Are you okay?" she asked moving away from the door and towards him.

He smirked. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

Robin walked to his side. "Listen about yesterday, I'm sorry, I know you were trying to help…and I ..uh…I wasn't very nice"

Patrick slid to the ground and patted the ground beside him. Robin sat down. "What did Bruce say?"

"That he didn't do it, that any reporter could have found that out and he's right, they could have. It's hardly a secret that I have HIV"

Patrick bit his cheek to keep from yelling. "Yeah, but hardly a secret is a long way away from the front page of the New York Post."

Robin nodded. "Well, it's done now and I can't undo it."

Patrick pulled at his shoelace. "Do you love him?" he whispered, not looking up.

Robin looked up at the sky. "No"

"Then why are you spending a moment of your time with such an asshole?"

Robin turned sharply. "I'm trying to figure stuff out and having you insult him does not help matters."

"Sorry" he mumbled. Taking a deep breath, he dove back in "You can do better than him"

"Like you, I suppose" she said bitterly.

"No" he shook his head. "If you don't love him why not just end it?"

Robin shrugged "Because he's in the middle of his campaign and it would be unfair to him"

Patrick rolled his eyes. "Unfair to him? Unfair to him? What about to you Robin? What is this costing you?"

"I can't talk to you about this Patrick"

He nodded and they fell into silence. "I'm sorry about the swings" She raised her eyebrows. "It was wrong of me to do that to you."

"It's okay" she said quietly.

"It meant a lot that you were there"

"How are you?"

"Not very good" he shook his head. Robin turned her body to face him completely. He bit his lip, trying to steady his ragged breathing. "I see him everywhere" he whispered.

Robin reached out and drew her thumb across the bags under his eyes. "Is that why you're not sleeping? Because you see him in your dreams?"

Patrick swallowed thickly and nodded. "I didn't think it was possible to miss someone this much" he choked on the words.

Robin took his hand. "Patrick"

He shook his head "Don't. I just need to get a grip."

"Or maybe" she lowered her head to look at his eyes. "Or maybe you need to just let this happen."

"Did you see Stone?"

Robin nodded "All the time. I still do, birthdays, the anniversary of his death. Do you still see your Mom?'

Patrick pulled nervously at his bottom lip. "No. I actually panicked a few years ago because I couldn't remember the details of her face and I couldn't remember what her perfume smelled like. I spent a crazy afternoon at the department cosmetics counter sniffing every perfume bottle there was"

"Did you find it?"

"No and all I got for my trouble was a splitting headache"

Robin smiled. "I never heard you talk about Andrew before"

"I just…our friendship was just for me – does that sound stupid?"

"Not at all."

"You know, I've never talked so much about stuff like this since I met you."

She grinned. "I guess I'm good for something"

"You have no idea" he said softly.

"The Nurses Ball is in four days"

"I know"

"Are you going?"

"I wouldn't miss it. I hear there's a Pussycat Dolls group – any chance you're in it?" he asked teasingly.

"Uh, no. The award will be public humiliation enough."

"Look out for yourself Robin." he said standing up.

"Where are you going?" she asked, confused.

"To talk to Alan about some time off."


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

"Where are you going to go?"

Patrick shrugged. "I haven't thought that far ahead, I just need to get out of here…"

"Can I help?" Whatever pull Bruce had on her was dwarfed by the pull Patrick had. Everything else ceased to exist when she was alone with him.

Patrick shook his head and then stopped. "Actually there is one thing you can do for me"

"What's that?" she asked earnestly.

"Figure out how you feel about Bruce because I don't want to see you unhappy."

Robin's eyes widened. "It's complicated Patrick" she said softly.

He gave her a half smile. "I'll see you soon."

Robin watched him walk to the door and sighed before turning around. Her head was full and it was becoming increasingly more difficult to find perspective. She had always been sure of what she wanted but now she just felt overwhelmed.

Looking out over the city, she turned her head when she heard the roof door open. Robin's mouth dropped open slightly as she saw Patrick striding towards her.

"Patrick?"

Saying nothing, he cupped her cheeks with his hands and brought his mouth crashing down over hers. Sliding his tongue through her parted lips, Robin sucked on it eagerly. She gripped his waist to keep her balance. Breathless, lips stinging, he pulled away.

"If he kisses you like that, if he makes you feel like that, then stay with him but if he doesn't – leave him." he rasped. "Because Robin, you deserve….to feel like that." He stroked her cheek before turning on his heel and leaving.

Robin stood rooted to the ground, in a state of shock. Exhaling slowly, she fingered her lips. If she could have found her voice, she would have called after him, telling him that no one - no one but him - had ever made her feel like that.

Having secured a week off from Alan, Patrick left his father a note of apology. He headed to his hotel room and packed a small bag and then jumped in his car.

Exhausted after hours of driving, he pulled into the familiar driveway and knocked on the door.

"Patrick?"

"I'm sorry I didn't call first but I really didn't know that I was coming, I just, uh, I just started driving and I wound up here" he said quietly.

Nathalie pushed the door open. "Come on in"

He wrapped her in a hug and held her tightly. "How are you?" he whispered.

She tilted her head back, "I think I might be better than you." She closed the front door behind him. "The kids are in bed and I was just about to have some dinner – you hungry?"

Patrick smiled sheepishly. "Now that you mention it, I am." Dropping his bag, he followed her out the kitchen. "Are you sure you have enough?"

Nathalie smirked. "I haven't figured out how to stop cooking for two adults yet" She prepared a second salad and laid some grilled chicken over it. "There's a couple of beers in the fridge, why don't you grab them and I'll take this outside."

They sat on the deck, under the lights. Nathalie watched as he pushed the food around on his plate. "So – can we skip the brooding he-man crap and get straight to what's wrong?"

Patrick smiled. "I don't know" he said, exhaling. "I just feel like I have two left feet. I got removed from the OR today because I couldn't focus."

"What happened?"

He shrugged. "I just…I couldn't concentrate – I can't sleep"

Nathalie reached out for his hand. "Patrick, you miss him."

He looked over at her. "Don't you?"

Leaning back into her chair, she took a long drink from her beer. "Every second of every day."

"You seem to be coping" he remarked, almost enviously.

"I have two kids who are depending on me so I just of have to get on with it. But trust me when I tell you, climbing into our bed alone…" she shook her head, not finishing her thought.

Patrick fidgeted with his fork. "It felt different with my mom – I don't remember it feeling like this."

"P – you had him when your mom died"

Patrick nodded. "I guess – I guess I'm just feeling really alone."

"Where's your raven haired beauty at?" Patrick said nothing and continued to push his food around. "Seriously, Patrick – have you talked to her?"

"A little – we're not seeing eye to eye that much these days." He looked at Nathalie. "I kissed her though"

Nathalie giggled. "Of course you did. Have you ever thought about just telling her how you feel as opposed to these random gestures?"

"I shouldn't be laying this on you – you've got enough to deal with"

Nathalie tucked her legs under her. "This makes a nice change from my own headspace. Besides" she added softly. "Drew would want me to be here for you."

Patrick sat back and looked up at the night sky, briefly wondering if the sky looked the same in Port Charles.

"You know, we hadn't spoken in almost a month, but I always just figured, he would…."

"Be there?" she offered.

"Yeah" Patrick said roughly "and now I wish I had made the time to call him."

"You can't torture yourself like this Patrick – it's a losing game. I spent three days trying to remember if I had told him that I loved him before he left for work that day. In the end it doesn't matter – he knew I loved him." Taking a sip of her drink, she turned back to him. "Do you see the irony here?"

"No"

"You're sitting here, feeling lonely and with regrets about not having told your best friend how important he was to you and yet there's someone at home who is really important to you and you won't tell her."

"It's complicated" he said, echoing Robin's words from earlier.

"Bullshit Pat – you love her, it's not that complicated."

He grinned. "Says you."

"You know, you're a study in contrasts."

"Are you trying to use your legal mind games on me?"

"Sweetie, I've been using them on you for years" she smiled.

"I feel so violated" he joked.

"Mmm-hmm. Anyways, as I was saying"

"There's no changing the subject?"

She shook her head and smiled kindly. "You show up at my house out of the blue, I get to pick to the topic of conversation"

"Is that a rule somewhere?"

"Yes – it's in the appendices of the Constitution, now stop interrupting me and let me speak."

"So-rry counselor."

She threw a piece of lettuce at him. "You're a brat!"

"But I'm devastatingly handsome"

"Please –you aren't even good looking enough to carry my husband's hat"

"Nat – you wound me." He laughed. It was the first real laugh he had since Andrew's death.

"Anyways" she said exaggeratedly. "You are a study in contrasts. From what Andrew told me about your surgical skills, you're quite a risk taker"

"No guts, no glory."

She smiled at him. "Exactly and I hear you were quite the race car driver in your day. So you take risks in a professional setting, you've risked your life on a race track but you've never once risked your heart – why is that?"

Patrick pinched the bridge of his nose. "I knew I wouldn't like where this was going."

"Suck it up buttercup – I want an answer"

"I don't know" he answered quickly "Guess I never found anyone worth it."

"Until now"

"Your words, not mine."

"No – actually your words – you admitted you're in love with Robin."

"I don't know that she's in love with me."

"No guts, no glory"

"I can see why you're such a good lawyer" he said dryly.

"Stop trying to brush me off. How do you feel when you're around her?'

Patrick sipped his beer and then ran his thumb along the bottle. "Like everything makes sense"

"Then Patrick, for the love of pizza – DO SOMETHING"

"Like what?"

"Fight for her – go home and tell her that you want to be with her and that you suck at relationships but if she will give you a chance, you'll do your very best not to screw it up."

Patrick grinned. "I think I read a poem like that once."

Nathalie laughed. "Look, you are welcome to stay here as long as you need to – the kids will be thrilled to have you around. But there is someone at home that you love – LOVE Patrick – you might not want to stay away too long."

"I think I now understand why Drew fell in love with you."

"Why's that?"

"You're a bully" he said kindly.

Robin was lying on her bed, thinking about her day, specifically Patrick's kiss, when her cell phone rang.  
"Scorpio?"

"Robin, babe – it's Bruce"

"Hey there" she said trying to find some excitement in her voice.

"Listen, I know I was supposed to come to town for dinner tomorrow but I've got some key meetings that I can't get out of."

"Oh – okay – I understand. Are you still coming to the Nurses Ball?"

"Absolutely. Listen, speaking of the Ball – I have some great news."

"What's that?"

"I've got the CEOs of two big pharmaceutical companies coming and they have promised to make huge donations."

Robin brightened. "That's amazing Bruce – wow – thank you."

"And I had my speechwriters draft up a speech for you to give when you get your award. They've emailed it to you – have a look."

"What?" she asked, confused.

"Yeah – I know how busy you are and how stressful giving a speech can be. Listen, it's just a draft – use it, don't use it – it's fine – I just didn't want you to worry."

"Oh – that's ….great" she said skeptically.

"Gotta run – see you Sunday"

"Yeah, bye" Robin hung up the phone and walking over to her computer, turned it on.

She opened the email and read through the speech. Printing it off, she brought it out the kitchen where she poured herself a glass of wine, and sitting on the counter, re-read it.

She absently fingered her lips and knew immediately what she had to do.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Robin looked at herself in the mirror and admitted that she looked pretty good. Several phone calls and photos emailed to Brenda later, they had finalized her look. It took 20 minutes for Robin to convince her friend that she didn't actually need her to "jump on the next plane and show all the stupid men in Port Charles who's boss".

Her hand trembled slightly as she put the diamond hoop earrings in. Stepping into her black stilettos, she took one final look. The dress was devastatingly sexy, black crepe, sleeveless with a boatneck neckline; the back of the dress was completely bare to just below her waist. The skirt stopped at the knee and hugged every one of her curves. She had styled her hair in waves and let it fall over her shoulders. Attaching a red ribbon over her heart, she took a deep breath and declared herself ready.

Bruce had called earlier to say that he was running late and he would meet her at the Ball. He had, kindly, sent a car and driver to take her to the hotel. Robin grabbed her purse and went down to meet the waiting car. The press attention had died down somewhat but the announcement issued by Bruce's office that he would be attending the Nurses Ball had brought a renewed interest in her.

Seeing a couple of photographers outside her building, Robin gave them a small wave before sliding into the car.

Kelly and Lainey were the first two people she saw as she walked into the ballroom. "Shoot – Robin – you're smoking" Lainey said appreciatively.

Robin smiled. "Oh this old thing?"

Kelly laughed "The men are going to be lining up to dance with you tonight."

"Here's hoping" she said. "Are you guys ready for your big number"

"I've eaten nothing but celery and carrot sticks all week to make sure I look good in the, what do I call them, the pieces of material, Kelly is claiming are our costumes."

"Easy there shrink girl – are you forgetting the pizza and beer we had last night."

"Okay, fine – I've eaten nothing but celery and carrot sticks except for the pizza and beer last night"

Robin giggled. "I'm sure you guys will be great!"

"You know" Kelly started "It's not too late to join us – we could teach you the routine in like, 20 minutes."

Robin put her hands up. "No thanks – I have my own show to give tonight but I'm looking forward to seeing you guys up there."

Lainey tilted her head and studied Robin. "You okay, Robs?"

She nodded, smiling brightly. "Yup – it's all good. If you'll excuse there's someone I need to say hello to"

Seeing Sonny standing by himself at the entrance to the ballroom, Robin walked over to him and stopped when she saw what he was staring at.

Sonny looked over and saw her. Holding open his arm she slid in beside him as the two stared at the framed replica of Stone's AIDS quilt square. Sonny exhaled. "I miss him" he said quietly.

"Me too" she said, putting her arm around his waist.

"He had a kind of goodness that you just don't see that often"

"Biggest heart of anyone I've ever known"

They stood in silence, staring at the quilt. Their friendship would never be what it was, but Stone forever united them and it was a legacy that neither took lightly.

"Can I ask you something? And you'll answer honestly?"

"Of course" Sonny said, looking at her.

"Do you think…" Robin inhaled. "Do you think Stone would be proud of me?"

Sonny was so overcome that he was unable to speak for a moment. He kissed her temple. "Oh Robin" he blew out his cheeks "I think he would be very, very proud of you. Do you think he wouldn't be?"

Robin looked at her fingernails. "It's just, he wanted me to live for both of us and I worry that I might be letting him down"

Placing his finger under her chin, Sonny tipped her head up towards him. "Robin, so long as you are being true to yourself, true to who you are you have nothing to worry about."

Robin wrapped her arms around him, holding him closely. "Thank you for doing this" she whispered.

Sonny gave her a squeeze and then let her go. "Don't mess up your dress" he winked at her. She smiled and walked into the ballroom.

She took a minute to admire the stage and the tables. The organizers had made the room look incredibly elegant. She scanned the guests looking for Patrick but couldn't spot him.

"That's quite a dress, gorgeous"

Robin turned at the sound of the voice. "Hi Bruce" she said leaning in to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"You look amazing – it's a daring dress" he remarked.

"Isn't it? I feel like a million bucks in it"

"And you look like it" he said, brushing his lips against hers. "Should we find our seats?" he asked, offering his arm.

"Sure" she replied, slipping her arm through his.

They walked to the table reserved for the Board of Directors. Nikolas was already seated with Emily. He stood as Robin and Bruce approached.

"You look amazing" he said, giving her a kiss.

"Thanks – you're pretty handsome yourself" Nikolas blushed slightly. His teenage crush on Robin still had a little life in it yet. "Emily you look great" she said hugging her friend. "Are you ready for the show?"

Emily pretended to chew her nails "Oh yeah, I'm still trying to figure out how I got sucked in."

Robin laughed "Better you than me."

She took her seat as the other guests began to arrive. Alan and Monica greeted her warmly as did the other members of the board. She deduced that the two men approaching Bruce were the CEOs he had invited. He stood up and shook their hands firmly, looking them in the eye with forced sincerity.

"Robin" he said motioning to her. "This is James Hicks, CEO of Altapharma and Rodney Lee of Schwietzer" Robin shook both their hands.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Dr. Scorpio – Bruce has told us both so much about you."

She gave them a knowing smile. "Oh, you shouldn't believe everything that Bruce tells you" The three men laughed loudly at her joke. They all took their seats with James Hicks to Robin's left and Rodney Lee to Bruce's right.

"So Robin, how long have been HIV+?" James asked.

She bit her cheek to keep from screaming. "About 10 years."

"And your protocol is working well"

"So far" she said knocking on the table. "Tell me James, what is your company doing to provide first line drugs to the poor countries?"

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Well Robin, as you know, things in Africa and Southeast Asia are quite tricky politically and we've found that first line drugs which are expensive, are hard to dispense properly over there. We're having better luck with second line drugs."

"That's very interesting."

She was about to engage him further when Ned Ashton, a member of the Quartermaine family took the stage as master of ceremonies.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, distinguished guests welcome to the 2006 Nurses Ball. We have an entertaining evening planned for you and hope that in return for our entertainment, you will open your hearts and more importantly your wallets and give generously to help find a cure for AIDS." Bruce took Robin's hand and squeezed it gently. "I'll save the speechmaking for others and we can get our night underway. Please put your hands together and give a warm welcome to GH's own Head of Neurology – Dr. Noah Drake – here to sing, We're Here for a Good Time"

Robin grinned foolishly as she watched Noah take the stage in a suit with a guitar slung around his shoulder. Backed by a full band, she was truly surprised at how talented he was. She made a note to ask Patrick how long his father had been a musician and if he had inherited any of the musical genes. Patrick. Robin looked around the darkened room, seeing if she could make him out but there was no sign of him.

The next number featured Alexis Davis, the District Attorney, her husband Ric Lansing and Alexis' daughter Kristina singing It's a Hard Knock Life and Tomorrow from Annie. Alexis looked decidedly uncomfortable but was a good sport. At the end of their number, Nikolas turned to the table.

"If anyone had ever tried to convince me that my aunt would ever be on a stage singing, I would have bet the entire Cassadine fortune against it."

"I'm really wishing I had taken that bet" Alan teased.

"No fair Alan" Robin interjected "you had a sneak peek at all the performances"

"Robin, I would have cut you in for half" he joked.

"Half? It would have cost you more than that to keep me quiet"

"Can you guys stop dividing up my money?" Nikolas jokingly pleaded.

Emily excused herself to get changed for her number. Robin noticed the quick peck exchanged between the former lovers and raised an eyebrow at a blushing Nikolas.

"I'm going to get some air, Robin would you care to join me?" Nikolas asked.

"I'd love to"

Bruce put his hand on hers. "I was hoping you would stay and speak further with Rodney and James, they are big financial backers for my campaign" he said quietly.

Robin smiled sweetly. "I need to review the speech – I want to make sure it's note perfect."

"Oh – of course Robin. Do what you need to."

Robin and Nikolas headed out to the terrace. He removed his jacket and put it across her shoulders. "So" Robin began "care to enlighten me on your new old girlfriend?"

Nikolas smiled shyly. "We're taking it slowly but at least we're trying."

"Oh Nikolas I am so pleased for you both. I know it hasn't been easy but if ever two people were meant to be together, it's you and Em."

"Thanks. How about you? We haven't had a chance to speak recently but I am so sorry about that incident in the media."

"Me too. But if there's an upside it's that there is a lot of media here tonight and that will help get the message out."

"And how about you and Bruce?"

"How about us?" she asked innocently.

"Are you happy?" he asked with concern.

"I have learned Nikolas, there are worse things than being alone." He looked at her quizzically. "We should go in, I don't want to miss the girls' performance." They walked back to the table arm in arm.

They had just taken their seats when the lights went down and Ned introduced General Hospital's Pussycat Dolls. Robin could barely keep from screaming with laughter as Lainey, Kelly, Emily and Liz came out dressed in stockings, short skirts, boots and various styles of bra tops. They writhed, shimmied and shook like the real thing resulting in a standing ovation from the audience.

James leaned over to Robin. "That's an impressive display of talent at General Hospital."

"We're full of surprises at GH."

Bruce leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Nervous?" he asked.

"Not at all" she said confidently.

Alan Quartermaine walked towards the podium on the stage. Robin inhaled and looked around the room, in the back corner she saw her father who winked at her. Smiling at him she turned her attention back to Alan.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen it is a great pleasure for me to be here tonight as I have been asked to present the 2006 Distinctive Service award to our very own Dr. Robin Scorpio." Alan took a step back as the room erupted in applause. "I can't think of anyone more deserving of such an award. I have been fortunate enough to know Robin since she was a little girl. Always very bright, she was a precocious child, still is" he teased, many in the audience laughed "and I have watched her blossom into an amazing young woman and a brilliant doctor. As those of you who are regular attendees of the Nurses Ball know, HIV and AIDS hit very close to home for the GH family. We lost Stone Cates to the disease more than 10 years ago, equally devastating however was the knowledge that our Robin had contracted HIV. 10 years ago, the world was a different place and there was much more uncertainty with the disease than there is now. But regardless of the challenges and the fear of the unknown, Robin accepted her diagnosis with a grace and dignity that has become the hallmark of who she is. Not one to let life happen to her, Robin has gone forth and met it head on." Alan stopped for a moment and gazed at the young woman before him who had continually impressed him with her strength. "Robin, you are a living, breathing testament that perseverance pays off and it is my great privilege and honour to present you with this Distinctive Service award."

Robin closed her eyes and offered up a silent prayer to Stone to help her through this as he had so many other things. Smiling she stood and walked to the stage. The audience was on its feet, applauding loudly. Alan enveloped her in a bear hug and whispered words of praise in her ear.

Rodney Lee leaned over to Bruce and said "This was a stroke of genius Bruce. Have a poster child for the disease give a positive statement about the work of the drug companies with all this media here. We've been unable to find an activist to speak for us until we heard from you– trust me when I tell you that the seat is in the bag"

"That was the plan" Bruce said clapping Rodney on the shoulder.

Robin placed her speech on the podium and lowered the microphone to her mouth. "Alan, Nikolas, members of the board, friends and guests – I am truly humbled by your honour and hope that I continue to serve with distinction.

A British war reporter once wrote 'I pray you to believe what I have reported as for most of what I have seen and heard, there are no words." He was of course referring to the unspeakable horror of World War II. In every generation there is a disaster, whether man made or delivered by Mother Nature that defies description. For this generation – my generation – that disaster is the global AIDS pandemic. More than 25 million people, almost the entire population of Canada, have died of the disease since the first cases were diagnosed in 1981. There are more than 40 million people infected worldwide, 40,000 die every five days and by 2020, AIDS is expected to be the most destructive pandemic in history. These are my brothers and sisters in disease.  
I am a very lucky person. Diagnosed before the retroviral cocktail came on the market, I have defied the odds. That is mostly due to where I live. The advances in managing and treating HIV have offered longer, fuller lives to all sufferers but the poorest ones. Villages have been decimated, a generation of people is dead and an entire continent is on its knees. Governments and pharmaceutical companies have done some very good work but it's not enough – they must do more. We must demand that they do more. There are 17 million women over the age of 15 who, just like me, are HIV+. Where they live should not matter in how they are treated. That drug companies do not want to share research nor will they work together to find a solution, though millions are dying, is an unconscionable indictment on their love of the bottom line.

We talk about HIV as a managed condition and to a large extent it is. However we do ourselves an enormous disservice by patting ourselves on the back for that. Because when all is said and done, I am still dying.

Me and 40 million people.

We need a cure.

We demand a cure.

I encourage you to donate generously tonight but I also encourage you to write to your Senators, Congressmen and to the drug companies themselves and ask them, no, insist that they do more.

I thank you for honouring me tonight."

Robin stared directly at Bruce with a small, triumphant smile on her face.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Silence hung in the air when Robin finished speaking before the room roared with applause – the audience was on its feet.

Robin smiled as she exited the stage. Walking past her table she headed straight towards the back of the room. Sonny reached out and pulled her towards him. Wrapping his arms around her, he kissed the side of her head.

"You are a wonder" he whispered against her hair.

"Thanks" she said. Having stopped, she found her legs to be quite shaky. Feeling the tension in her body, he pulled her down on to the empty chair beside him.

"You okay Robin?" he asked.

She nodded her head, exhaling. "It just took a little more from me than I realized."

"Can I get you a drink or something?" he asked with concern.

"No – I have a feeling…." Bruce was standing in front of her before she finished her sentence.

"We need to talk" he said coldly.

Sonny stood up and extended his hand. "Sonny Corinthos."

Bruce looked at his hand like it was infected. "I know who you are"

Sonny narrowed his eyes. "I'm not sure I like the way you're talking to my friend."

"I'm not sure that the opinion of a local mobster matters to me." He turned to Robin. "Now Robin."

Robin stood up but Sonny put his hand on her. "Robin, you don't have talk to this guy."

She smiled brightly. "It's fine Sonny. I think Bruce just wants to talk to me about my speech." Looking up at him, she said "Shall we?"

They had only stepped a few feet away from Sonny's table when Bruce took hold of her elbow and forcefully led her to the lobby of the ballroom. Opening the door, he pushed her through it.

"Are you upset about something Bruce?" she asked with faux innocence.

"Did you do that to hurt me?" he spluttered.

"Hurt you? How could I hurt you? That was a speech about HIV and AIDS in 2006."

"I provided you with you a speech that I thought was well written and inspiring."

"It was certainly well written" she said evenly "but you know what the problem with it was? It wasn't actually written by someone who had HIV – I thought I might be able to offer a unique perspective given that I've lived with the disease for 10 years."

"So you admit that you did that to embarrass me"

"Is there some reason why I would want to embarrass you?" she asked with her arms crossed in front of her.

"I can't think of one. I thought we had a good thing going here – building on our friendship – we were becoming quite a team. If you had a problem with the speech you could have just said something, we could have worked together on it. That would have been more respectful than what you did in there" he accused.

Both turned their heads as the door opened. Sonny walked through the door and closed it behind him.

Bruce turned angrily towards him "Excuse me but this is a private conversation"

"Who are you kidding?" Robin yelled at him. "This entire night has been for public consumption - why would you stop now?"

"Robin, you're becoming hysterical" he said patronizingly "Obviously you need to lie down or something, let me take you home" he stepped towards her.

"YOU USED ME!!" she screamed.

"I used you? I used you? After everything I've done for you…arranging for that award, bringing those big donors here"

Robin took a step back. "Arranging…" she swallowed "arranging for the award?" she said disbelievingly. "You arranged for me to get an award?"

"I thought it would make you feel better but I guess I was wrong."

"What the FUCK do I need to feel better about? I need to feel better because what? Because I'm the poor pathetic girl with HIV? This was all a stunt…" Robin put her palm to her head. "This was all a stunt – none of it was real – you don't care for me I'm just marketing…I'm marketing collateral for your campaign."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"And the big donors? They're not here for me or for the cause – they're here for you or rather you're here for them. Is it comfy there – in their back pockets? I've always wondered – do you miss your soul once you've sold it?"

"I think we should talk about this somewhere else" he said noticing a few cameramen gathering around.

"Answer me this Bruce" her voice catching "when did I become nothing more than a prop to you? Were we ever really friends?"

"Of course we're friends" he walked towards her again.

"Don't touch me, don't you fucking touch me" she hissed.

"Robin calm down."

"Stop telling me to calm down – you have swooped in and played around in my life – you got me on the front page of the Post announcing that I have HIV – you made me think that being with you is better than being alone. In Paris" Robin fought to hold back the tears, balling her hands into fists "I always admired you for the kindness and integrity that you showed. I guess the joke's on me"

"Robin I am still that man" he said defensively. "I want to make a difference."

She shook her head violently. "He" she jabbed her finger in the direction of Stone's quilt square "he was a man of integrity." Robin wiped at the tears that had begun to tumble down her face. "I" she pointed to herself "I make a difference every day by living – too bad you can't say the same thing. Now get the hell out of my life."

"Robin…"

Sonny stepped in front of Bruce and stared at him. "I believe Robin has asked you to leave her alone."

"This is none of your business"

"I'm suggesting that you leave…Bruce"

"Or what – you'll rough me up?"

Sonny let a small smile play across his lips. "Well I was trying to be polite but if you want to go another way – I'm happy to oblige."

Bruce pushed past Sonny and returned to the ballroom. "This isn't over Robin" he said as he walked by her.

"Can I call someone for you Robin?" Sonny asked, touching her shoulder.

She shook her head. "No..I..uh..I just need a minute to collect myself and possibly fix my make-up" she laughed bitterly.

"Are you sure?"

"I am – thanks for sticking around"

He kissed her forehead. "Any time, sweetheart." Sonny looked at her one last time before returning to the ballroom.

Robin leaned up against a pillar and blew out her cheeks. She was emotionally spent. When she received Bruce's speech, she realized that he planned to use the Nurses Ball, an incredibly sacred and special event to her, for his political gain. It wasn't until they had started to argue that she began to understand that she had been a pawn all along – a way to curry favour. She felt dirty, used and exhausted. All she wanted to do was go home, crawl in to bed and stay there until the world made sense again. She wiped at her mascara which she was sure was smudged under her eyes.

"So…was that fight part of the ticket or do you have to pay extra for it?"

Robin looked up in surprise. Standing before her, dressed in a tuxedo, was Patrick. She swallowed thickly and blinked several times, trying to register that he was actually in front of her.

"You're..you're here" she said, still not believing the sight in front of her.

"I told you I would be" he said softly. "Are you okay?"

Robin's mouth twisted in to a smile. "I don't think he like either of my speeches."

Patrick grinned. "Funny that – I liked them both very much."

She did a double take. "You heard the first one?"

"I did" he said, stepping closer towards her.

"I looked for you" she whispered "but I didn't see you."

"I got here late and stood in the back. You were amazing – you are amazing."

Robin bit her bottom lip. "I think Bruce and I are done."

"Good"

"Good?"

"Well because if you're not, I'm going to have no choice but to punch him and you know how I feel about my hands" he smiled. He closed the distance between them, letting his fingers slowly run down her arm.

"Why would you punch him?" she asked, her voice catching.

"Because" he licked his lips "I don't want you to be with him. I want you to be with me."

"Really?"

"Yeah" he nodded.

"That's funny" she said shivering as he leaned into the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent.

"How come" he whispered, moving to the other side of her neck.

Robin reached for his hand and laced her fingers through his. "Because I don't want to be with him, I want to be with you."

He hovered over her mouth. "Oh yeah?" he asked, nipping at her lips.

"Yeah" she replied thickly.

Patrick opened his mouth over hers, seizing her lips. Robin moaned into his mouth pushing her body against him. Pushing them both against the pillar, he placed his hands on either side of her head, his tongue greedily in search of hers. Robin's hands went to his waist, looping her fingers through his belt loops.

"Let's get out of here" he said against her mouth.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

"Right now?" she asked.

"You have something better to do?" Robin shook her head. Patrick took her by the hand and led her outside. He was about to hail a taxi when Robin pulled on his arm.

"I have a car and driver"

"Let's go" he said as she led them to the car. Robin got in first and slid to the far side of the car. Patrick slid across, taking her face in his hands and capturing her lips with his. Robin ran her hands down his chest, to his waist. She pulled frantically at his tucked shirt, desperate to touch his skin. Her hand grazed across the front of his pants and stopped when she felt his arousal.

"Where did that come from?" she asked breathlessly.

Patrick pulled back. "Well" he said breathlessly "seeing you in that dress for starters and then" he brushed against her lips "watching you kick that asshole to the curb. You're hot when you're angry"

Robin giggled. "I had no idea" she stroked her hand over the material again. "Poor you – what would you have done if I turned you down?"  
He smiled seductively. "I felt fairly confident you wouldn't. But if you did there's always Julie in Pediatrics – she's cute"

Robin's eyes flashed in mock anger. "You stay away from her – you're mine now" she ran her hand across him again.

He pulled her hand away. "Unless we want a very quick end to this, you have to stop doing that." Robin smiled and moved her hands up his back. Patrick moved his hands up her leg and under her dress. Robin parted her legs slightly, giving him greater access. He brushed his fingers across her lacy g-string. "Glad I'm not alone" he said thickly as he felt her dampness. She locked eyes with him and pushed against his hand. Raising an eyebrow, Patrick sat back on his heels and pushed her dress up her legs. Not taking his eyes off of her, he wrapped his fingers around the strings and slowly pulled the panties down her legs. Balling them up, he shoved them in his pocket before stretching out on top of her again.

Robin reached for his face and brought it to hers. Sucking on his bottom lip before plunging her tongue in his mouth, Patrick shifted and groaned. His fingers drew tiny patterns across her centre before slowly slipping one finger inside and moving it around. Robin let go of his lips and let her head fall back, exhaling. Patrick moved to her earlobe, nipping and sucking at it. He kissed his way down her neck, breathing in her intoxicating scent. He slipped a second finger inside and began to slowly pump his hand against her. Using his thumb, he traced circles over her sensitive spot causing her entire body to jerk in response.

"Patrick" she hissed.

"You are so beautiful" he said against her skin. "And so sexy". Robin's hands flew to his hair, grabbing tufts of it as she pressed her body harder against him. He sucked on the skin along her collarbone. "I want you to come for me"

"I…uh….." Robin swallowed, trying to slow down.

"Let go Robin" he whispered into her mouth. Robin went completely still before bucking wildly against his hand as her climax tore through her. Panting as her body trembled in after shocks, Patrick pushed her hair off her face. He kissed her cheeks before moving to her forehead. "I…uh…I…"

Robin stroked his cheek. "You what?" she said softly.

Courage failing him, he looked at her and smiled. "I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever known." Robin blushed madly. Both sat up suddenly as the car came to a stop. She tried to straighten her dress.

"Can I have my panties back?" she said quickly.

"Nope – they're mine now" he said patting his pocket. Robin was about to reach for them when the driver opened the door.

"Here you go Dr. Scorpio."

"Thank you very much" she smiled as she exited the car. Patrick got out behind her, bumping into her as she stopped and looked around.  
"Forget where you live?"

"No" she shook her head. "I just want to make sure there aren't any reporters here." He protectively closed his hand over hers as they walked to her door.

Patrick nuzzled her neck as she unlocked her door. He wrapped his arms around her as they walked through the door, kicking it shut with his foot. She made a move to face him but he tightened his arms around her and gently pushed her against a wall. Face first against the wall, she turned her head, laughing.

"What are you doing?"

He kissed the back of her neck and began to drop slow, deliberate kisses down her spine. She shivered and caught her breath. "When I saw the back of your dress as you got on the stage" he said between kisses "it took all my self control not to rush the stage and carry you off." He grabbed hold of her hips as he kissed her exposed waist. Feeling him let go of her, Robin spun around and began to push his jacket off his shoulders. Patrick let it fall to the floor.

"I can..I can hang that up for you" she said as she fumbled with his buttons.

"Leave it" he growled.

Her fingers were shaking slightly. Frustrated at her lack of success with the buttons, she grabbed hold of his shirt and pulled it open sending the buttons flying across her apartment.

Patrick stared at her in surprise. "Aren't you the feisty one"

"You have no idea" she said, covering his chest in kisses. She took one of his nipples between her lips, causing him to blow the air out in his cheeks. Unable to wait a minute longer, he picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. He sat her on the bed as he tore his shirt off, flinging it to the ground. Robin began to slip her dress off her shoulders. Leaning forward, Patrick began to kiss each new part of her skin that was exposed as she moved her dress down her body. Pooled around her ankles, Patrick pulled it from her and tossed it in the direction of his shirt. Taking her foot in his hand, he slipped her shoes off one by one. Robin sat naked on the bed and Patrick took a step back.

"Wow – Robin"

"What?" she asked, feeling suddenly shy

He shook his head in wonderment. "You make me forget to breathe."

Robin reached forward and pulled him closer to her by his waistband. Undoing his belt buckle, she undid the button and then gently unzipped his pants, taking care not to hurt him. She pushed his boxer-briefs over his hips, allowing his erection to spring free. He stepped out them as Robin took hold of him. She tightened her grip around him and began to stroke his full length slowly.

Patrick threw his head back and began to pant. Pushing her back on the bed, he lay on top of her and began to devour her body. His hands sought out her breasts, tweaking her swollen nipples with his fingers before taking one in his mouth. Robin arched against him as she ran her hands over her his lean but muscular frame. He suddenly pulled away.

"What's wrong?" she asked with concern.

"I…uh..I really wanted to do slow and lingering but…"

Robin smiled at the urgency in his eyes. Reaching over the bedside table, she pulled a condom from the drawer. "We can do slow and lingering later" she grinned as she tore open the packet. Sitting up, Patrick ran his hands through her hair as she rolled the condom over him. Lifting her head, he seized her lips with his while pushing her back down on the pillows. Robin lifted her leg and draped it over his shoulder as he entered her. He lay still for a minute, his breath coming raggedly, as he looked into her eyes. She stroked his hair as he began to thrust. Robin met him movement for movement as she felt her second orgasm building inside her. Patrick began to feel her tighten around him and was unable to hold back any longer as they peaked together.

He collapsed on top her, shaking with aftershocks. Robin kissed his shoulder and stroked his back as her own breathing returned to normal. He slowly rolled off of her, taking her with him in his arms. Robin snuggled into his as closely as she could. He pressed his lips against her forehead.

"You okay?" he asked when he could finally speak.

"Better than okay"

He kissed her again. "You seem kind of far away."  
She lightly traced her fingers across his chest. "I'm here"

"It's against the guy's code to ask this but – what are you thinking?"

Robin smiled into his chest. "I was just thinking that with Bruce…" she felt his arms stiffen around her "it felt like I had two left shoes on."

"And now?" he asked quietly.

"I think this is what flying feels like."

xxxxxx

Robin watched as Patrick's chest rose and fell. He was sound asleep and if she didn't know better, she would swear there was a smile on his face. She ran her fingers along his lips before quietly stealing from bed. Grabbing the t-shirt hung over her chair, she stepped over the pile of their clothes and padded out to the main room. Opening the door to her balcony, she stepped outside and stared up at the moon – it was going to be daylight soon and she couldn't get over the difference a night made. Everything suddenly felt right and made sense. But she couldn't figure out why she felt so sad. Hearing the newspaper land with a thud at her door, she walked to her front door and gently opening it, retrieved the paper.

Sitting on the couch, she flinched as she saw the headline:

**AIDS hits home for Senate hopeful Harris**

More than 2 million raised at annual Nurses Ball

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and began to read the article. Its primary focus was Bruce's commitment to finding a cure and making treatment options more affordable for the poor. It even mentioned how Schweitzer and Altapharma made matching donations bringing the total amount raised to over 2 million.

"I guess 2 million is the going rate for public humiliation these days" she thought to herself.

She stopped breathing as she got to the end of the article.

_In an exclusive interview with the Gazette, Senate candidate Harris revealed that his relationship with Dr. Robin Scorpio, who suffers from HIV, had come to an end._

"The pressure and stress of the campaign proved to be too much for her" said the dashing young candidate "I care too much for her to allow her to endanger her health for me. We remain close friends and I am grateful for the support she has shown me."

Robin blinked several times, rereading the words and finding them no loss painful on the second or third read.

"There you are" came Patrick's sleepy voice.

Robin flipped the paper closed and turned it over. "Hi there" she smiled at him as he, in his boxers, walked over to her.

Sitting down beside her, he cupped her face with one hand and kissed her deeply. "It's rather rude to leave me all alone in bed you know"

"I'm sorry. I'll have to make it up to you" she said wiggling her eyebrows.

"Hmm – if prove to be good at it, I might insist that you be rude more often."

Robin slapped him playfully. "If I prove to be good at it? I think I've proven several times over"

"I might need a reminder."

"Like this?" she asked as she pushed him back against the couch, crashing her lips against his. Taking advantage of his parted lips, she swept her tongue in his mouth, brushing it against his teeth.

Patrick began to push her t-shirt up her body, running his hands over her behind. "I don't think you should ever wear underwear again….or pants for that matter" he said huskily as she lapped at his ear lobe. Moving his hands under her t-shirt, he pulled them slowly up her side before bringing them over to cup her breasts. He kneaded them gently as Robin pushed herself further into his hands. She moved to his neck, leaving a trail of kisses from one shoulder to the other.

She sighed as the persistent bleating of her alarm got louder and louder. Pushing herself off of Patrick, she grimaced and walked to the kitchen and took out her med bag. She counted out her morning dose and poured a glass of juice. She pulled some crackers from a box and began to down the pills one by one. The newspaper story played over and over in her head – Dr. Robin Scorpio, who suffers from HIV. Was there ever going to be an occasion where her name and HIV were linked in a sentence?

Patrick came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her and began to nuzzle her neck. Without thinking, Robin pushed him away. "Not…not right now" she said shaking her head. Perplexed, he stared at her but she kept her eyes on her pills. Turning around, he walked out of the kitchen and back to the couch. Seeing the paper on the table, he flipped it over. His mouth fell open at the headline. Reading through the article, he felt his blood pressure beginning to rise and though not a man prone to violent outbursts, he was willing to kill Bruce after reading the final quote.

Folding over the paper, Patrick got up from the couch and walked back to the kitchen. Robin was placing her empty glass in the sink when Patrick took her hand. She looked up in surprise as he led her back to the couch. Stretching out on the couch, he pulled her down, sitting her between his legs, leaning back against his chest. One by one, he interlaced each of his fingers with hers. He kissed her just behind her ear.

"Let's talk about Bruce" he said quietly. He felt her stiffen immediately. He kissed her again.

"What's there to talk about?" she asked in a strangled voice.

"I don't know – we could talk about his violation of your trust, his attempt to publicly humiliate you or even the load of crap in today's newspaper." He felt Robin sigh and lean further back into him.

"It bugs me" she said simply.

"Robin people with 10 items in the 8 items or less checkout lane bugs you, I think this might be more than that."

She laughed slightly "I don't know – the whole too many items in the express lane thing is pretty big on my hate list."

Letting go of one of her hands, he stroked her hair. "He hurt you"

"I hurt myself"

"Don't do that" he said in a flash of anger "don't let him off the hook. Robin you trusted him and he took advantage of you."

She nodded mutely. "I just should have known better, you know? You warned me - my father hated him, Liz didn't like him…"

"Liz didn't like him?" She shook her head "Remind me to get Liz a thank you card"

Robin giggled before becoming serious again. "It's just that he took the one thing I am most vulnerable about and manipulated it, twisting for his own purposes. It's made it vulgar somehow."

"I'm sorry" he whispered.

Robin lifted their enjoined hand, turning it over, inspecting it. "But what hurts the most is what he said in the paper. That the stress of the campaign proved to be too much for me and he wouldn't allow me to endanger my health."

"Why does that upset you so much?"

"Because when people find out that I have HIV, I have to work twice as hard to prove that I'm not weak or sickly. When I get a cold, I won't complain even a little because their minds go somewhere else - it's not just a cold to them, it's a reminder that I'm weak."

Patrick leaned in closely to her ear "You're not weak" he whispered, "You are never weak."

Robin shivered at the feel of his breath on her skin. "I've worked so hard to be more than that – to be more than just the girl with HIV and it makes me really sad that to some people, that's all I'll ever be."

Patrick wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her tightly to him. "You are so much more than that to me, if that's worth anything."

Robin leaned back and dropped a kiss on his chest. "It's worth quite a bit."

"You know I don't see you as the girl with HIV, right?" he asked earnestly.

"What do you see me as?"

Patrick sighed. "As this incredibly beautiful, sexy woman, a brilliant doctor who can literally annoy the pants off of me" Robin giggled. "I think you are brave and strong and I think you are kind in all the ways that matter. I see you as someone who literally lives each day as opposed to waiting for a do-over tomorrow. Did I mention you're hot?"

Robin shifted, rolling onto her stomach to face him. "You keep talking like that you just might get lucky."

Sliding a hand underneath her and cupping her, feeling the heat from her body, he smiled seductively. "I think I just did." Curling his fingers up into her, she moaned, dropping her head on his chest. He kissed the top of her head. "I love touching you Robin" he said into her hair.

Robin began to kiss his torso, dragging her tongue across his hip bone. She nipped at his skin as she worked her way up to his chest. She circled his nipple with her tongue, gently tugging on it with her teeth. "Shhhiiit" he hissed. He continued moving his fingers inside her as she ground her hips against him.

She ran her hand down the length of his body, coming to a stop between his legs. Slipping her hand inside his boxers, she traced her fingers around his head, causing him to jerk and twitch. Running her thumb along his underside, she could feel him harden in her hand. She groaned at the loss of sensation as he removed his hand. Gently removing her hand, he scooped her up and carried her back into the bedroom.

Setting her down on the bed, he reached into the bedside table for a condom as she peeled his boxers from him. Tearing at the packet, he sheathed himself and then looked at her. "I don't think we're going to get to slow and lingering."  
Robin gave him a feline smile. "We have all day for that" she said, straddling him. Grabbing her hips, he guided her as she lowered herself onto him. Robin set the pace, not letting him get too far ahead. His eyes were dark pools of desire as his breathing became more ragged. "I can't get enough of you" he said as they moved together.

Leaning her head in, Robin pulled on his bottom lip. "No one has ever made me feel like this" she said huskily. Feeling him building to his climax, Robin began to move more quickly. Patrick locked eyes with her and could see she was close as well. Sitting forward, his mouth clamped down on her shoulder as he tumbled over the edge.

"God! Patrick!" Robin screamed as she joined him. She collapsed against him, their bodies slick with sweat.

Patrick traced his fingers up and down her back. "Listen, there's something I need to tell you" he said somewhat shakily.

" Mmm?" she murmured against his skin.

"I suck at relationships, but if you give me a chance, I'll do my best not to screw it up."


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Robin lifted her head from his chest and squinting, pushed her bangs from her eyes. "What?"

Patrick chewed on his bottom lip. "Um it's entirely possible I just blurted something out there that perhaps could have waited."

Robin blinked several more times. "Did you just say you suck at relationships?"

Patrick felt his cheeks going red. "Uh, well I did. But in fairness I said I was willing to try."  
"Just like that?"

"Not so much just like that….I…what I'm trying to say" he said, clearly uncomfortable "and am doing a really crap job of….is that….I …think I want to be in a relationship with you."

Robin rolled off of him and sat up. "Are you sick?"

"No"

"Do you have a fever? Have been exposed to ebola?"

Patrick started to smile. "No, though I feel a migraine coming on" he groused good-naturedly.

"I know you're new at this but these are normally the types of conversations you have when both people are coherent."

"Well, I just needed to get it off my chest."

"Apparently" she snickered. "So what are you saying exactly"

"I want to be in a relationship" he said proudly.

Robin arched her eyebrow. "Good for you. With who?"

Patrick turned to Robin and with an evil grin, tackled her. Lying on top of her, inches from her face, he stared at her. "With you, you big goof."

"Big goof? Are you calling me fat?"

Patrick buried his head in her shoulder. "I'm trying declare myself for you and you're making jokes. I haven't done this before, but I'm fairly certain in the big book of how to treat your partner, mocking them is not recommended."

"On the contrary, mocking is always recommended, especially when said partner has an enormous ego" Robin stroked his face. "Are you sure?"

He nodded against her hand. "Truthfully, I've wanted to for a long time."

"Greece?" she asked.

"Yeah. That day on your balcony, I just..I lacked the courage to tell you how I felt. Robin, I've never wanted a relationship – I mean ever. But I want one with you."

"What stopped you from telling me?" Patrick stared up at the ceiling and exhaled deeply. She rubbed his shoulder. "You can tell me, I promise not to mock" she said gently.

"I've never failed at anything in my life."

Robin looked at him in surprised. "Never? Never ever?"

He shook his head. "Never. The lowest grade I got in school my entire life is a B-. Though I've had to work for things, I've always succeeded."

"In other words you only do the things you know you will be successful at."

"I kind of hate that you see through me like that." Robin smiled. "Have you ever failed?"

Robin brought her hand to her mouth. "Oh my god – yes. Fail big and fail early I say. I failed first year physics, my first article was refused by every major medical publication and if you talk to Brenda, I fail in fashion all the time."

He stroked her belly. "Brenda's right. I think you should just give up wearing clothes" he said dropping a kiss over her navel.

Robin ran her hand through his hair. "So do you think you'll fail?"

"I don't know. I don't want to but not being sure that I won't scares the crap out of me."

"Why?"

"Because if I fail, I hurt you. And Robin, no matter the differences and the arguments we've had since we've met, I have never, ever wanted to hurt you" He kissed her belly again.

"No guts, no glory Patrick."

He lifted his head. "Have you been talking to Nathalie?" he asked in surprise.

"Nathalie? Andrew's wife? No, why would I?"

He shook his head, smiling. "It's just, she said the same thing."

Robin grinned. "I think I like Nathalie."

Placing his head on her chest, he sighed. "How did you get to be so fearless?"

Robin stopped stroking his hair. "You think I'm fearless?"

Lifting his head, he looked at her. "Aren't you?"

She found herself inexplicably blinking back tears. "Patrick" she swallowed thickly, "I'm wracked by fear every day – on a whole bunch of levels and that doesn't even include the fear I have around my disease."

"Then how do you do it?" he asked genuinely.

"What choice do I have?" she exhaled. "Bravery or courage isn't the absence of fear, it's just the willingness to accept it and do it anyways"

He inhaled. "Okay then"

"Okay then?"

"I'm terrified of letting you down Robin but I really do want to try – if you do."

Robin tilted his chin upwards and gently kissed his lips. "I want to" she whispered. They made love several more times before finally succumbing to exhaustion and sleeping tangled in each other's arms.

Robin woke just before her alarm and quickly turned it off before Patrick stirred. Pulling on her robe, she walked out to the kitchen and prepped her meds. As she took her pills, she looked around her apartment and smiled. Patrick's presence made it feel fuller, like a home rather than a house. She smiled at his declaration from the day before. It wasn't the most romantic of phrasings but it was a Shakespearean sonnet to her.

Finishing up her protocol, she headed to the bathroom for her shower. When she came out in her towel, she was surprised to see Patrick dressed in his suit pants and a Ramones t-shirt he had left at her place months ago.

"That's quite an outfit Dr. Drake"

"Well I want to walk you to work and I thought the tuxedo jacket might be overkill."

Robin laughed. "That's sweet but you don't have to do that."

"I didn't say I have to, I said I wanted to so I will"

"Okay bossy-boots" she teased. She pulled on a pair of jeans and a red blouse. Arranging her hair in a ponytail, she put on some lip gloss. "I'm ready."

Patrick slid his hands around her waist from behind and nibbled on her ear lobe. "Are you sure we don't have time?"

"We don't" she said firmly. "And I can barely walk straight after yesterday."

He kissed her neck. "If you call in sick, I can make it so that walking is out of the question."

She slapped his hands playfully. "Stop it. Let's go before I change my mind."

He led her out the door by the hand and was grateful to see there were no reporters or cameramen hanging around. Stopping in at Kelly's they picked up coffees.

"Hey Patrick" Lulu called to him as he was leaving "NSYNC called, they want their look back." He stuck his tongue out at her as he held the door open for Robin. They walked to the hospital, hand in hand and Patrick insisted on escorting her to the Nurses Station.

Robin checked her messages as he leaned against the podium, staring at her. "You know, you can call me and I can meet you in a linen closet" he said in a low voice "or maybe an OR – I know you've seen it done in there, maybe you'd like to try for yourself."

Robin began to blush. "Stop it!" she pleaded. "You're making it difficult to read my messages."

"It would help" he said taking the messages from her hands "if you didn't try to read them upside down."

She rolled her eyes and leaning in, stole a kiss from him. Patrick felt her stall on his lips and then pull back. She had gone suddenly pale and her eye began to twitch. Slowly turning his head, he heard him before he saw him. Posing for photographers with Nikolas and Alan with a giant donation cheque, was Bruce.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Patrick made a move towards Bruce but Robin grabbed hold of him.

"No" she hissed "Do not go over there."

Patrick looked at her in surprise "Are you kidding me right now? I'm going to pound him into next week" he started to move again but Robin was surprisingly strong and held him back.

"You cannot go over there. There are cameras, not to mention the Chief of Staff and the Chairman of the Board of Directors. Just leave it."

"Robin…"

"Patrick. I do not want you getting in a fight for me or because of me. Just leave it alone." She felt the tension leave his body somewhat. "Look I have to get started on rounds, promise me you won't do anything stupid."

He smiled. "I won't." Tilting her chin up, he dropped a kiss on her lips. "I'm going to go back to the hotel, change and run some errands. Call me when you get home and I'll come over."

"Okay" she said, grabbing one more kiss before heading off for rounds.

Patrick watched her leave and admired the way she didn't once look back at Bruce. She had always been a disciplined person. He, on the other hand, not so much. He watched as both Nikolas and Alan pumped his hand in gratitude for the cheque. He smirked as he saw Alan roll his eyes as Bruce left.

Walking around the Nurses Station, he stood in front of the Bruce and his entourage.

"Bruce. How nice to see you" he said evenly.

"Patrick" he acknowledged and made a move to go around him but Patrick blocked his way. Bruce locked eyes with him.

"I think we need to have a little chat, don't you?"

"Excuse me" Krista, the press secretary said "but we're on a tight schedule and Mr. Harris doesn't have time."

Patrick didn't take his eyes from Bruce. "I think Mr. Harris wants to make the time or I can just start the conversation right here, in front of the cameras"

Bruce looked around him and saw the media was still milling about. "I'm always happy to make time to speak to a member of the healthcare field."

"This way, Bruce" Patrick said, leading him to a conference room. He turned as the entourage tried to follow him in. "Sorry, this is a private meeting"

Bruce inhaled deeply. "What do you want?"

"About Robin…."

Bruce laughed. "You know, I've known Robin longer than you and I'm sure she won't appreciate your knight in shining armor crap you're pulling her – riding to her rescue."

A smile formed at the corners of Patrick's mouth. "She doesn't need anyone to ride to her rescue. But see, the thing with Robin is that she's a much better person than I am – she believes in taking the high road. I really don't though – which is too bad for you" he said walking towards him.

"What are you going to do – hit me?"

"No." Patrick said in his best reassuring voice. "But I am going to make a few things clear. You are never and I do mean NEVER" he yelled "to speak Robin's name or talk about her HIV in the media, ever again. You are NEVER to contact her, if you see her in the halls of the hospital or on the sidewalk, go in the other direction."

"Or what?" he said dismissively "You'll wait until I need brain surgery and let me die?" Sarcasm dripped from his every word.

Patrick smiled coldly. "I can't do brain surgery when you've already had a lobotomy."

"I don't have time for this" Bruce said as he tried to move towards the door.

"We're not done."

"You think you're a hero? Robin told me all about you and your playboy ways. She'll never trust you, you know and because of that, she'll never love you. Though I can say from experience that the sex makes hanging in, worth it."

Patrick stood stock still, only the slight twitch in his cheek betrayed the pure rage coursing through his body. "You forget, Bruce – I grew up with a Senator for a grandfather and I know that you people will say anything. You mixed fact and fiction so long ago you don't even know that you're full of it. Leave Robin alone."

Bruce gave a slick smile. "Robin and I are friends"

"No you're not. Robin was you're friend – you are nothing more than a fucker who tried to take advantage of her and if you make another move against her you'll regret it."

"You're really not that threatening Drake"

"Oh I know" he said thoughtfully "I'm really actually too pretty to be scary but that's okay because Robin has lots of friends and family who are plenty scary. I mean, really at the moment it's hard to tell who's foaming at the mouth more to get at you – her father, the superspy who could probably torture you for weeks without a second thought or Sonny who, you know, could lose you in a vat of coffee beans. There's Robin's mother, also a spy and from what I've heard quite handy with a machine gun and we really shouldn't forget the ex-boyfriend who has been known to get straight to the point and just shoot people in the head."

He took another step towards Bruce "So leave her alone" he said quietly "or the Senate seat won't be the only thing you'll lose."

The little pool of sweat forming on Bruce's brow was the only indication that he was at all nervous. "Fine – you've done your caveman act. You can go back and dutifully report to Robin that the big bad Bruce was warned. Anything else?"

Patrick pulled at his chin thoughtfully. "Yeah. You know that part where I said I wouldn't hit you" He drove his fist straight in to Bruce's face, sending him reeling to the ground. "I lied."

On the ground, Bruce spit out blood and tried to regain his bearings. Patrick turned on his heel and left without looking back.

Having finished rounds, Robin settled into her lab to review her notes and begin work on preparing her next round of trials.

"If I tell you we're bearing gifts, will you let us interrupt?"

Robin looked up and smiled as she saw Lainey and Kelly at the door. "Depends on the gifts."

"Coffee from Kelly's and lemon poppyseed muffins?" Lainey offered hopefully.

Robin clapped her hands together giddily. "But of course! Come in!"

The other two doctors giggled and Robin directed them to the couches in the corner of the lab. Robin greedily took her coffee. "So what brings two of GH's own Pussycat Dolls by? Are you guys taking your act on the road?"

"Hardly" Lainey scoffed. "The next time I'm wearing that little amount of clothing, there better be a naked man involved!"

Kelly and Robin burst out laughing. "You loved every minute of it" Kelly said.

"Not as much as you did – she got four phone numbers, including from Sonny's bodyguard"

Robin did a double take "Max?"

"No, Milo" Kelly said suddenly shy.

"He's cute" Robin offered.

"And has a good body" Lainey said. "Have you called him yet?"

"No."

"Why not?" Robin asked.

"Well, for starters, what does one do on a date with a mob bodyguard?"

"The shooting range?" Lainey asked

"You know, Sonny has always had good looking guards. When I was with Jason, he had this one guard, Johnny – the man was put together."

"There is something about the suits and the guns" Kelly said. Robin nodded.

Lainey looked between Kelly and Robin. "Do either of you even realize how absurd this whole conversation is?"

"Hate the game, not the player" Kelly said.

Lainey shook her head. "Robin, I meant to tell you that I thought your speech at the ball was amazing."

"Thanks"

"I know this is going to sound stupid, but I sometimes just forget that you have HIV. You're healthy, you're happy, you look great and it isn't until I hear you speak like that that I remember what a challenge you have."

Robin smiled gratefully. "That doesn't sound stupid at all. Telling me that you forget I have HIV is really nice to hear."

"Sooooo" Kelly started "we're also here for the dish"

"Dish?" Robin asked.

"Dish" Lainey confirmed.

"What dish?"

"Are you and Doctor Hottie back together?"

Robin's flushed cheeks told them all they needed to know.

"I could have figured" Kelly said.

"Why? Because I'm blushing?"

"Well that and the fact that Patrick just punched Bruce in the face." Robin's mouth fell open. "Must be nice to have men fighting over you."

"He…he…punched him?"

"Oh yeah" Lainey said "in the conference room – BAM! Right in the eye – he's not going to be photographing very well for a while unless he gets some good make-up. Did he wear make-up?"

Robin blinked several times. "I..uh….no not normally a make-up wearer." She gathered up her muffin and empty coffee cup. "Sorry to cut this short guys but I really have to get back to my notes and stuff."

"No worries" Kelly said getting up. "Let's get together for drinks this week."

"Sounds good" Robin said waving as the girls left the lab.

She pulled her cell phone from her pocket and dialed Patrick's number. His phone went straight to voicemail. She tried his hotel phone but there was no answer there either. She called his beeper and then went back to work.

She tried his phone several more times during the course of her shift but never got an answer. Watching the clock, she counted down the last minutes of the day and practically ran to the elevators. Furious, she continued to build a good head of steam as she walked to the MetroCourt. He had done the one thing she had asked him not to do. She didn't want Bruce engaged in this way nor did she want him to know how upset he had made her. It was a matter of pride for her and Patrick being a he-man only deepened the sting of humiliation she was already feeling.

Impatiently tapping her foot in the elevator, she practically pushed the doors apart when she arrived at his floor. Storming down the hall, she pounded on his door. Arms folded across her chest, she waited. Patrick opened the door slightly and saw Robin.

"This isn't really a good time Robin, I'll call you later" he said trying to close the door. Robin jammed her foot in it and pushed her way into his room.

"So you meant it when you promised me that you wouldn't do anything stupid except for the part where you went ahead and did something stupid." Robin stopped – the room was in complete darkness. "Patrick why are all the lights off?"

Walking over to the wall, she turned on the light switch. Her mouth fell open as she looked around the room – it had been completely trashed. Looking back to Patrick, her heart began to beat rapidly. He was completely disheveled; eyes rimmed red and his face streaked with tears.

"Patrick" she said slowly "what's wrong?"


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Patrick wouldn't meet Robin's eyes. "Patrick?" she asked.

"I'm not having a very good day" he said flatly.

Robin took in the broken glass and shattered desk chair. "I can see that. What's wrong?" She took a steadying breath, trying to slow her rapidly beating heart. Her mind was racing as to what happened. "Is it Noah?"

Patrick opened the door. "Just go. I'll talk to you later."

Robin walked towards him. "I'm not leaving" she said quietly.

"Get out" he said as he walked towards the fireplace, glass crunching under his feet.

"Patrick…."

He spun around. "GET OUT – I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!!"

Robin covered her mouth with her hand and walked to the door. Closing it, she turned the lock. "You may not want me here but you need me here so I'm not leaving."

Patrick picked up his glass and downed its contents. Robin's eyes scanned the room until they fell upon the half finished bottle of scotch.

"You drink all of that today?" she nodded to the bottle. He followed her gaze. Walking to the bottle, he picked it up and poured himself another glass, downing it immediately.

"I'm really worried about you – please talk to me" she quietly pleaded.

"If you insist on staying, you need to shut up"

His head was screaming and all he wanted to do was drink enough to drown it out. He didn't need Robin giving him empathetic looks or judging him for the manner in which he was choosing to cope. He just wanted to be alone. He knew how to do alone and he wanted her to go.

Robin flinched slightly. She had seen Patrick angry on occasion but she had never seen him like this. At a loss as to the source of his pain, she continued to push him to talk. "You need to tell me what's going on" she insisted.

"Leave" he said, his face contorted in angry pain as he sank to the chair by the fireplace.

She shook her head and took another step towards him. He cradled his head in his hands, murmuring. Robin couldn't make out what he was saying until she got closer.

"They all leave. Everyone leaves. They all fucking leave."

Robin bit the corner of her bottom lip. She took a deep breath. "Patrick, who leaves?"

He lifted his head, his eyes puffy and red from crying. "Everyone – everyone in my life leaves."

"I won't leave" she said quietly

He narrowed his eyes. "Yes you will" he accused. "And then it will be just me."

Robin reached out her hand to touch him and he pushed it away. "Leave me alone." She walked in front of him and tried to put her arms around him. He pushed her away again. "DON'T touch me. WHY WON'T YOU JUST FUCKING LEAVE?" he screamed at her, hurling the empty glass against the wall.

Her eyes closed as he yelled at her they flew open when she heard the shattering glass. "I am not leaving" she said, willing the tears in her eyes to disappear. "Something is really wrong Patrick"

He scoffed. "Everything is as it always was" he said flatly as he walked across the room.

"STOP IT!" she yelled. "Stop talking like that – PLEASE tell me what's going on. You are scaring me!!"

Patrick stopped walking. His hands started to tremble and then his entire body began to shake. Stumbling, he slid to the ground leaning against the foot of the bed, bringing his knees to his chest, still shuddering. Robin ran across the room and threw her arms around him, pulling him to her tightly.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry" he whispered over and over again.

Robin felt her shoulder damp with his tears. "Shhh" she soothed "It's okay – whatever it is, we can deal with it" she stroked his hair lovingly.

"It's Andrew" he whispered.

Robin lifted her head in confusion. "Andrew? What do you mean it's Andrew?"

Patrick untangled himself from Robin's hold and walked, on unsteady legs, over to the upturned desk. He retrieved an envelope from the ground and brought it back. Handing it to her, he sank back to the ground and closing his eyes, exhaled deeply. He covered his face with his hands.

Robin looked at him curiously and pulled the letter from the envelope. Unfolding it, she began to read.

_Patrick,_

If you've got this letter in your hands then you are going to be seriously pissed with me. It also means I'm dead. I'm sorry for what I've done and I hope one day you will come to forgive me but I'll understand if you don't.

Last year I was diagnosed with ALS. The doctor told me I had about five years to live, depending on the progression of the muscle degeneration. Turns out, five years was optimistic. My grip has started to go and there are days I can barely walk. The pain is intense and I can't take it any more. I've never told Nat what was wrong – it's stupid, I know but I don't want her pity – I want her to remember me as I am. I don't want her changing my diapers or having to feed me. I can't go out like that.

I tried to be hopeful, I tried to be the good patient but I suck at it. I hold Gracie and Oliver and I think anything is possible but those moments are fleeting and then I'm surrounded by darkness. I tried to tell you a bunch of times but the words wouldn't come and truth is, I know you. You would've been on the first plane here and shaking every tree trying to find treatments or answers - I just couldn't deal with it.

I'm not ready to die, but I am you know? P- you are the best friend I have ever had and probably better than I deserved. We saw each other through some really bad times and there isn't any other person that I would have wanted by my side. You're a good man, better than you realize – don't lose sight of that. Forgive and love your Dad while you can. Find a woman to make you happy.

Tell Nathalie if you think it will help – I couldn't but as I said, you're a better man than I am. Try not to be too pissed with me – I just need the pain to stop. Love my kids as you already do – they'll need you as they grow up. Make sure Gracie doesn't date anyone remotely like you or I. Show Oliver what it takes to be a real man, not a coward like his father.

I'm sorry I couldn't be braver.

Love,

Andrew

Robin let go a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. Looking over at Patrick, who still had his eyes closed, she nervously licked her bottom lip. Tentatively, she put her hand on his shoulder. "I am so sorry" she whispered.

Patrick shook his head. "I don't want to know this. I don't want this secret." Pulling his hands away from his face, he turned to Robin, his eyes huge and haunted. "He was the one person, the only person in my life that I could count on to be there. He's ruined it. He's ruined everything."

Robin felt her own heart shatter at Patrick's words. He had always been too cocky to talk about it in any depth but she had long suspected that one of the reasons he lived as a playboy was so that he could leave people before they had the chance to leave him. In his mind, it was clear, that his mother and his father had abandoned him and now his best friend. Robin saw him shutting down right before her eyes and felt powerless to stop it. She reached for his hand and took some solace when he didn't pull it away.

"How am I supposed to do this without him? How could he does this to his family - to me– how could he do this?" Patrick cried.

Robin ran her thumb in circles in the palm of his hand. They sat amid the destruction, not moving. The only sound was the occasional sniffle from Patrick.

After nearly an hour, Robin turned to him. "Why don't we go back to my place? I can make some food and we'll just sit – if that's what you want to do."

"No" he shook his head. "You go ahead, you don't need to stay."

Robin crawled and kneeled in front of him. Taking his face in her hands, she forced him to look at her. "We can go to my apartment or we can stay here – but I'm not leaving you."


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Robin kneeled in front of him and waited. His eyes showed every ounce of his pain. He stared at her, disbelieving in her support but clinging to it like a life raft at the same time.

For him, the betrayal of Andrew's death was complete. He had originally thought the universe too cruel to have snatched from him, not to mention from Andrew's wife and children, his anchor – his family of choice. But to know now that his friend made a conscious choice to leave him meant there was no comfort to be had.

Trust was something he had so rarely given in his life. In a psychology class he read a theory that stated when a parent violates the trust of a child, it represents a break to the child's foundation that cannot be healed. Ultimately the child matures and has difficulty forming trust based relationships. Though he was no child when his mother died her death felt like treachery by the universe. His feelings were compounded by his father's decision to walk away and collapse within his own grief. Through it all, the coming apart, the rebuilding Andrew had been there. Patrick had in fact clung to the friendship as the one thing outside of medicine that he knew to be true.

Now everything felt like a lie.

Robin stood and held out her hand. "Let's get out of here".

"I'm not a child, I don't need to be taken care of" he said petulantly.

She exhaled. "Fine, I won't take care of you but I'm not leaving you here" she said looking around the room "like this." She stepped towards him. "Come on Patrick just…..come with me"

With no fight left in him, Patrick took her hand and stood up. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

Robin tilted her head and looked at him. "It's okay" she said gently. "Let's go."

Robin picked up the letter and put it in her pocket. They walked hand in hand to the elevator and were silent in the taxi ride back to her apartment.

Opening the door, Robin led Patrick through the door. He hadn't let go of her hand since the MetroCourt.

She stood by the couch, resting her hand on his waist. "Are you hungry?"

He shook his head. "But you should eat, it's time for your meds, isn't it?"

Dropping her hand, he walked to the couch and flopped down. Reaching for the remote and turned on the television. Robin walked to the kitchen to get her evening protocol. As she took the last of pills, she looked out at Patrick on her couch. She had never been more unsure of what to do. She knew she had to get him out of his hotel room but now that he was here, it seemed like she was working without a net.

Carrying two glasses of water, she joined him on the couch. "You might want some of this because I think you're going to have a monster hangover."

"Whatever" he said, taking the glass from her.

"I know it hurts…."

He turned to her. "It doesn't actually. It feels like nothing. He was obviously never my friend."

Sensing she was on dangerous ground, Robin proceeded cautiously. "He was your friend" she said simply.

"Really? Are his the actions of a friend? Not only am I the only one who knows that he had a terminal illness and had had it for more than a year but I'm also the only who knows how he died. His wife thinks he was on his way home to her and their children and that some driver came out of nowhere and hit him – depriving them of their happily ever after" he spat. "Little does she know the selfish bastard just felt like quitting."

Robin bit the inside of her cheek. "He trusted you enough to tell the truth" she offered.

"The truth?" he said dryly, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. "What good is the truth once you're dead? If he trusted me with the truth he would have told it to me when he was still alive."

She tucked her legs underneath her and moved closer to him. Stroking his arm, she said "Patrick, everyone reacts to bad news differently and its easy to have hope evaporate on you…"

He pulled away from her, glaring. "Don't you dare. Don't you dare defend his actions to me. Don't you dare tell me that there is even an ounce of justification for him blowing my life, Nathalie's life and his childrens' lives wide open. Don't tell me how hard it is to die – I'm not interested."

Robin looked at the ground, letting his anger dissipate into the air. Looking back at him, she chewed on her lip. "It's not hard to die" she said softly. She cleared her throat. "Dying is easy. Watching someone die, being the one left behind – that's what's hard."

Patrick hung his head, letting her words hang in the air. Turning his head in her direction he said "I'm an ass. I'm sorry"

Robin shook her head. "No. There are no apologies here Patrick – not for how you feel. I'm just trying to help with perspective."

"I'm just so….I'm just…aarrrgggh!" He threw one of her cushions across the room "I don't know what I am!" he said in frustration.

"Angry" she said, touching his arm. "You are just so angry"

He flopped his head on the back of her couch. "I thought it hurt before but now…"

"It's a whole new wound"

He ran his hands through his hair "God! I hate him! How dare he leave me with this secret? The weight of it will crush me"

Robin caressed his hand. "You don't have to carry it alone – I can help. I'm little but I can carry my fair share of weight" she said lightly.

Patrick gave her a small smirk and sliding his hand around the back of her neck, pressed his lips into her forehead. Pulling back, he yawned. "I don't think I'm going to tell Nathalie" he looked at Robin expectantly.

"Okay" she said cautiously.

"What? No lecture on how truth should triumph over everything?" he said in a veiled reference to her decision to reveal the truth about the paternity of Nikolas' child.

"That was my decision to make Patrick, this one is yours."

"You think I should tell her"

"I've never said that."

"No but you're thinking it" he said accusingly.

Robin pushed her away back to the other side of the couch. "I know you're looking for a fight – you think you'll feel better if you can yell and scream at me for some pretend reason because what you really want to do is yell and scream at Andrew but you can't. I'm not going to fight with you."

Patrick rolled his eyes. He knew she was right and there was a part of his brain that was screaming at him to be nicer to her. Unfortunately that part of his brain couldn't be heard over the boiling anger.

"So really, you have nothing to say?"

"Well, I do have one thing"

"I knew it" he said sarcastically.

"Andrew did leave it to you to decide whether or not to tell Nathalie. Tell her, don't tell her – only you know what to do there. But I have a word of caution. If you decide now, not to tell her – you can't ever tell her. You cannot decide in five years or ten years that the secret is suddenly too much. She will have rebuilt her life by then – she will have immortalized him in her heart and her mind and cannot, you must not blow that apart down the road." Robin stood up. "So again, tell her – don't tell her but your decision must be absolute."

"And if I decide to tell her?"

"I'll support you no matter what you decide." She kissed the top of his head. "I'm going to bed – help yourself to food, drinks whatever you need." Slipping the letter from her pocket, she placed it on the table in front of him.

She walked to the bedroom and after washing her face and changing into pajamas, slipped under the covers. She didn't want to smother him. Her own vast experience with grief taught her that alone was not always a bad thing and Patrick needed some space to come to grips with the new, unexpected dents to his armor.

Robin was asleep when she heard him slip into the bed beside her. She allowed herself a sleepy smile. Truthfully she had been unsure what he would do. He could have called a taxi and left, he could have slept on the couch or he could have gone to the guest bedroom. That he wanted to be beside her made her happy. He slipped a hand around her waist and pressed a kiss into the back of her neck. She pressed back into him, closing off any space between them.

"I could have stopped him" he said simply.

Robin's eyes flew open. She turned around and propped herself up on her elbow. Even in the dark, she could tell that he had been crying again. She caressed his face, wiping at the tearstains. "Why do you think that?"

"I hadn't got around to phoning him in almost a month. We had a couple of emails but I just hadn't made the time. If I had spoken, I would have known – I would have been able to tell that something was off and I could have made him tell me. I could have stopped him."

Robin felt her own eyes fill with tears. "Patrick – you can't think like that. It won't change anything and it will only make you feel worse."

"I would have known and I could have stopped him."

She ran her fingers along his lips. "I'm going to say this as kindly as I can but he was obviously very good at covering. His own wife didn't know and he had been living with his diagnosis for more than a year and you didn't know. I think he would have covered with you until the end."

Fresh tears spilled down his face. "Why didn't he trust me? I hate him"

"Pain forces you to make bad decisions – you know this."

"I hate him" he repeated through his tears.

"I know" she said quietly.

He ran his hand down her shoulder and let it rest on her hip. "You're wearing too many clothes"

"Uh..I don't…"

He shook his head. "No, I mean…I'd just like to feel your skin against me – is that weird?"

Robin pulled his lips into hers. "Not at all"

She stripped of her tank top and tossed it to the side of the bed. Sliding her pants off, she threw them on top of her tank top. Patrick lay on his back and held the covers up as she moved into him. She rested her head on his chest and tangled her legs around his.

He stroked her hair. "I wish I had known it was the end."

"What would you have done?" she asked curiously.

Patrick sighed. "I would have gone to one more hockey game – one more sunny afternoon on a patio with a cold beer – one more Sunday brunch with his family with him telling the same lame stories he always did – I would have found a racetrack we could have taken one last spin around – one last bbq – one last round of golf at Pebble Beach – one last afternoon of just doing nothing but hanging out – I would have made sure he met you" he kissed the top of her head "and I guess I would have told him I loved him"

Robin lifted her head and dropped a kiss over his heart. "I'm sorry it hurts so much"

Patrick wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Chapter 33

The smell of fresh coffee invaded Robin's nose and instantly brought a smile to her face. She slowly opened her eyes and did a double take when she saw Patrick sitting on the edge of the bed with a tray in his hands.

"What's all this?" she asked sitting up

"Breakfast in bed" he said as he placed the tray over her legs.

"Breakfast in bed?"

"Yes. This" he said waving his hand over the tray "is breakfast. It's the first meal of the day and its name is derived from the old tradition of breaking one's fast. This" he waved to the bed "is a bed. It is used for sleeping or many other fun activities. When you put them together, you have breakfast.in.bed"

Robin looked at him and picking up a strawberry from the plate, hit him between the eyes. "Jerk" she teased. Patrick picked up the strawberry and held it between his lips. Robin leaned in and took it back. "What's this for?"

Patrick stroked her leg through the blankets. "You didn't run last night when I gave you tons of reasons to"

"Why would I run? I lo…you're really, really important to me. How are you feeling today?"

Patrick shrugged. "You know, in the 30 seconds I manage not to think about it, I'm okay."

Robin smiled. "And the rest of the time?"

He pursed his lips. "Not okay."

Robin chewed on the toast. "Have you thought about talking to Noah?"

"Why would I do that?" he said, stealing another strawberry.

"He's your Dad and he might be a good sounding board for you."

"Maybe. I still have a few days off so I might have lunch with him."

"He won't let you down" she said softly "but you have to give him a chance."

"Still his number one fan I see." Patrick said.

Robin grinned. "I can't help it – Noah is pretty cool."

"But I'm cooler right?"

Robin rolled her eyes. "You are kidding me, right? It's not possible you're jealous of your father?" she teased.

"Jealous? Why would I be jealous? I'm better looking, a better surgeon and better with women."

"You think so do you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well it's just clear to me why your father was so popular with the ladies in his day. There's a certain sex appeal to him"

Patrick covered his ears. "Stop it!! Do not say that again – oh god, I think I'm gonna be sick."

She slapped his arms playfully. "There's a certain sex appeal to you too."

"Oh?" he asked arching his eyebrow.

"Yeah – you've got a little something going on."

Leaning in, he captured her lips. "Nice save" he said against her lips.

Robin pulled away. "You know – at some point we are going to have to talk about you punching Bruce."

"We are?" he said, moving the tray away.

"I asked you not to" she said, giggling as Patrick started to crawl on top of her.

"I know" he said, pulling the blankets away. He dropped a kiss on her hip before dragging his tongue across to her other hip. "But it's in the boyfriend code – to beat the crap out of people who are mean to your girlfriend."

Robin did a double take "Did you just call me your girlfriend?"

"Mmm-hmm" he said, circling her navel with his tongue.

"Oh god" she exhaled.

Patrick looked up, smirking. "Is that because of me or because I called you my girlfriend?" Reaching up, he brushed his thumb over her nipple.

"A little bit of both" she said huskily. "Patrick, I don't have time – I have to get to work and I still haven't showered."

"Okay" he said as he scooped her off the bed.

"What are you doing?" she yelped.

"Taking you to the shower."

Setting her down on the ground, he ran the shower and then pulled her inside with him. He crashed his lips on to hers, letting his tongue explore her mouth. Robin was unable to resist him. Melting against him as the water washed over them, she ran her hands over his shoulders and down his back. Tipping her head to the side, he assaulted her neck with his lips.

"I have to get to work" she repeated.

Patrick pulled back and looked her in the eye. "I just called you my girlfriend – I've never called anyone my girlfriend – we should celebrate by having sex."  
Giggling, she said "We could celebrate tonight"

Patrick shook his head. "Nope" he pushed her up against the tiles. "This is a now thing. It won't be the same if we do it tonight…..though we will do it tonight. Besides, you should reward me for punching Bruce."

"I didn't want you to punch him" she protested

"Yeah" he smiled seductively "You really did"

"Patrick I think….ahhhh". Unable to finish her sentence as Patrick slipped a finger inside, slowly moving it around.

Robin searched out his lips, nipping on his bottom lip. Her hands ran over his chest, trailing them slowly down to his hips. Patrick bucked slightly against her touch as she drew her fingers along his inner thigh. He moved his head down to her breast languidly licking her nipple, before gently taking it in his teeth sending electric shocks through her body. Robin reached for his arousal and began to slowly stroke him. Patrick lifted his head and leaned it against the wall, lost in the sensation.

Patrick pulled away and Robin looked up in confusion. Pulling back the shower curtain, he got out to retrieve a condom. Sheathing himself, he stepped back in and pushed her up against the slick wall. Robin gave him a seductive look before sinking to her knees. Patrick bit his bottom lip as he felt her take him in her mouth. She ran her tongue along the underside of his erection, tracing circles over his head.

"Christ, Robin" he hissed, brushing her hair out of the way.

Robin closed her lips around him and he began to tremble. Reaching down, he pulled her up by her arms. Wrapping her legs around his hips, she locked eyes with him as he entered her. Robin grabbed at his shoulders as she felt her stomach tighten. Pushing her hips against his, she urged him on. Patrick felt his orgasm building and in that moment he was alive. There were no thoughts of loss or anger, all he could think of, all he could feel was Robin. He greedily grabbed her lips with his as he gave over to the orgasm.

Both shook as wave after wave passed over them. Robin slowly slid down his body, panting. She leaned her head against his chest. "I'm still not any closer to being ready for work" she teased.

Patrick kissed her along her jaw. "Then allow me."

He stood her up against him, under the stream from the shower. Reaching behind him for her shampoo bottle, he squirted some in his hand and gently washed her hair. Robin closed her eyes, lost in the feeling of his hands massaging her head. Taking the showerhead down, he rinsed her hair, blocking the water from her eyes. Replacing the showerhead, he reached for her conditioner and worked it through her hair.

"I..um..I lo…I love the smell of your shampoo" he said.

Patrick helped her out of the shower and wrapped her in a fluffy towel before wrapping one around himself. He flopped on the bed while she got dressed.

"What do you think you'll do today?" she asked, pulling on a skirt.

He exhaled. "Well, I think I need to alert housekeeping at the MetroCourt that my room needs a little attention."

Robin smiled. "Just a little."

"I shudder to think of the bill. And I thought maybe I'd hang out here and wait for you to get off of work – if you know – that's okay with you."

Robin did up her blouse and pulled her hair back in a wet ponytail. There was certainly no time to blow dry her hair.

"Is it okay if my boyfriend hangs out at my apartment?" she joked. "I think I'm okay with that." Stepping into her shoes, she walked over to the bed and kissed him deeply. "Call me if you…if you need anything"

"I will" he said. "Have a good day."

Robin walked out to the kitchen and grabbing her purse was about to head out when she stopped. Walking back to the kitchen, she opened a drawer and pulled out a key. She walked to the bedroom and sat on the bed beside him.

"Did you forget something? Or are you calling in sick and we can spend the day in bed?" he asked hopefully.

She swallowed nervously. She wasn't sure why she was suddenly so nervous but she dove in. "Here's a key to my apartment. The other key opens the front door downstairs."

Patrick smiled. "Are you keying me Scorpio?"

"Yes – yes I am. Are you okay – still breathing? You're not going to pass out from all this are you? Because it's a key not a commitment – if you don't want it…"

He cupped her face and kissed her gently. "I want both – the key and the commitment."


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Patrick stared at the key long after Robin left. He wasn't sure which had surprised him more – that she had given him a key or that it hadn't freaked him out in the least that she had. Pulling on his jeans, he pulled his own keys from the pocket and put hers on the ring. Walking out to the kitchen, he poured himself a second cup of coffee and sat down on the couch.

The letter lay on the table where Robin had left it, still folded in the envelope. It was a Pandora's box holding unspeakable grief. He picked it up and turned it over in his hands. There was a part of him that wanted to tear it up into tiny pieces and pretend that it didn't exist but another part of him wanted to read over and over again until Andrew's words were deprived of their power, until they no longer sliced at him.

He leaned back against the couch and bending his knees, put his feet on the edge of the table. He pulled the letter from the envelope and held it in front of him. Exhaling, he opened it again.

_You're a good man, better than you realize – don't lose sight of that. Forgive and love your Dad while you can. Find a woman to make you happy._

He pursed his lips as he read those sentences over. Final pieces of advice from the one person who knew him better than anyone – they rang hollow. He folded the letter back up and put it in his pocket. He walked back to the bedroom and pulling on his shirt, headed back to the MetroCourt.

He smiled as he approached his room door. Robin had had the forethought to put a do not disturb sign on the door when they left yesterday. Opening the door he saw for the first time the destruction he had wreaked on his room. Sighing, he stepped carefully amidst the broken glass and papers. As he called the manager, he thought of explaining that a visiting band of wrestlers had tried out new routines in his room but didn't really think it would be believable. He fessed up that he had lost his temper and taken it out on the room and promised to pay whatever damage fee was required. The manager, recognizing the value of such a long term client tried to be understanding while extracting a large security deposit to ensure it didn't happen again.

After changing his clothes, he called Noah and asked to meet for lunch at Kelly's. Noah was concerned but grateful for the invitation and promised to meet him. Patrick packed a small bag of clothes and his shaving kit to take to Robin's. They hadn't discussed him staying over but he had a key and a girlfriend and wanted to make good use of both.

Noah had only been at Kelly's a few minutes when Patrick came through the door. Sitting across from his son, he felt suddenly nervous and began to fidget with the fork in front of him. "You look like hell" he said quickly.

Patrick smirked. "Oh stop trying to butter me up"

"How are you?"

Patrick shrugged. "I've been better."

"How are things with Robin?"

Patrick smiled genuinely. "Really good- great actually."

"I hear you punched that poofter Harris. Nice work."

"Well sometimes you just have to take matters into your own hands."

Noah looked at his son's face. There was so much of Patrick that was still a stranger to him but some things never change and the look on Patrick's face told him that his son was troubled and deeply so.

"What's on your mind Patrick?" he asked tentatively.

Patrick chewed on his lip before reaching into his pocket and pulling out the letter. He passed it to Noah. "What's this?"

"Just read it" Patrick said quietly.

Noah carefully unfolded the letter and began to read. Patrick watched his father's expression intently and saw it change several times over the course of the short note. Finished reading, Noah put the letter down and looked at Patrick with tears in his eyes.

"Oh son" was all he could say.

"Kind of sucks don't you think?"

Noah nodded. "No kind of about it. How are you?"

Patrick absently turned his coffee cup around in circles. "How do you think I am?"

"Shattered?" he offered.

"That's a good word. I haven't decided what to do about Nathalie. I'm tempted to tell her, give her the letter and let her know the truth."

Noah leaned back and studied Patrick. The weight of this secret was one he would happily carry for his son if could but he knew that the burden was Patrick's alone. "What good would that do?"

Patrick looked up in surprise. "Pardon? I thought you would be all in favour of truth telling – isn't that part of the 12 steps?" he added trying to keep the bitterness from his voice.

Noah sighed. "Normally I do think that being honest is the only way but there are other things to consider here. Andrew is dead and the manner of his death won't change that."

"Don't you think Nathalie has a right to know?"

"Maybe but what will that do to her? What did that do to you?"

Patrick smirked. "I'm not sure you want to know" he took a drink of his coffee. "You'll be pleased to know that I'm no better than you. I felt ¾ of a 40 ouncer was a good place to start."

"I'm sorry" he whispered.

"Don't be – I'm a grown up and I make my own choices."

Noah sat up straight. "Look Patrick, I understand the responsibility of the secret you carry but you should know that you won't necessarily feel better by telling Nathalie. Truth does not always set you free. It was wrong of Andrew not to tell her – there's no way around that but telling her now, taking the one thing she's holding on to get through this – trust in the man she loved – could be a blow she may not recover from."

"So you really think I shouldn't tell her?"

"If it were me, I wouldn't but you have to weigh everything here – the damage the truth can do versus the liberation it can bring. Maybe you can just support her and love those kids. But ultimately the decision is yours and I know you will do what's best."

Patrick blew out his cheeks. "Robin keyed me" he said, changing the subject.

Noah choked on his drink. "She what?"

"Keyed me – gave me a key to her apartment – my own key – she keyed me"

"So I'm sensing there's a key involved?" Noah teased.

Patrick smiled. "Nothing gets by you."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I'm okay with it – I think we're building something here."

"I'm glad to hear it. You know Patrick, being in love can change your life."

"Whoa, whoa whoa, who said anything about being in love. We're dating and I've been keyed. I haven't talked about love."

"Denial is such an ugly thing in one so young."

"Listen, there's something else I want to ask you" he licked at his lips nervously. "I, uh, I'm thinking of finding a place to live…"

"You mean other than a hotel room?"

"Yes, I mean other than a hotel room – geez when did you become such a comedian? I was wondering if you would….if you're not too busy…if you would come and look at some places with me?"

Noah was taken by surprise. "Me? You'd like me to go with you?"

"Well, yeah – don't make a big deal about it – just if you're free – I thought maybe we could go tomorrow."

"Are you sure you don't want Robin to go with you?"

He inhaled deeply. "Not yet – I want to narrow it down to a few before I get her involved. I kind of want to surprise her a little bit."

Realization dawned on Noah's face. "Patrick – are you looking for a place – do want somewhere where you and Robin can build a life together?"

He shook his head. "No – not - no. I just want a place to call home – some place where people can come over"

"This is home now?"

He shrugged again. "It's as good a place as any."

"Okay then. Well call me tomorrow when you have a plan. I'm sorry about Andrew but don't let that colour all those years of friendship – it doesn't change who he was." Noah started to stand up.

"What if it happens to Robin?" he said quickly.

Noah sat back down. "If what happens to Robin?"

"Andrew said the pain was too much – what if it happens to Robin – what if…" Patrick took a deep breath "what if as time goes on, something happens – her condition worsens and it becomes too much for her and she…"

"Robin is not Andrew" Noah said gently "She has integrated her disease into her life long ago and she has a support system."

"Drew had a support system – he had Nat and me ..I just….I don't know what I'd do if she ever got to that place."

"Have you talked to her about your fear?"

"No" he shook his head violently. "I can't talk to her about that"

"Maybe you should – she could put your mind at ease"

"No – I can't – she can't know that I worry about her like that"

Noah reached across the table and touched Patrick's arm. "I know it's hard for you but you need to trust her – trust in her"

Patrick nodded. "Thanks" he said hoarsely.

Noah stood and walking to Patrick, squeezed his shoulder. "Thanks for coming to talk to me – it means a lot." He walked towards the door.

"Dad" Patrick called to him.

He turned around "Yeah, sport?"

"Um, you're one of the reasons why I want to stay here."

Noah nodded, smiling gratefully before heading out the door.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

Robin had just finished rounds and was dropping her charts at the Nurses Station when she noticed Kelly hovering around. She made several attempts to approach her but kept backing off. Amused, Robin looked up at her.

"Kelly– is there something you want to ask me or have you suddenly developed OCD?"

Kelly bit her lip "Well, um – listen –I"

Taking pity on her friend, Robin took her by the arm and led her to the couches. Sitting down she stared and waited. Kelly fidgeted with the rings on her fingers before Robin finally reached out and took her hand.

"What?"

"Do you have plans tonight?" Kelly asked.

"I was probably going to have a quiet night in with Patrick"

"Oh, okay, nevermind"

Robin began to laugh. "Kel– what the heck is going on?"

"Um, you and Patrick wouldn't like to come to Jake's with me would you?"

"Why? Has Coleman redecorated? Washed the floors?"

"No but I heard that Milo was going to be in Jake's tonight with Max and I'd like to see him but I don't want it to seem like a date and so I can't just go by myself but I was thinking if there was a group of us then I could casually ask him to come and join us and we could spend time together but it's not really a date and then there's no pressure."

"Did you even breathe when you said all that?" Robin giggled. "Kelly, why don't you just ask him out?"

"Because I want him to ask me out and he hasn't called."

"Does he have your phone number?"

"No but that's beside the point. People like…people in his line of work can get things and so if he wanted my phone number he could get it."

"Maybe he's shy?"

"I was shy first – he needs to call me."

"You realize you're making no sense at all right?"

"I'm making perfect sense – have you forgotten the horrors of being single – humiliation and rejection waiting around every corner?"

Robin shook her head. "Trust me – I've been around the block on that one. You really want to do it this way - invite a bunch of friends out so you can 'casually' bump into Milo?"

"Yup- it's the perfect plan."

Robin sighed. "Okay. I'll ask Patrick – who else have you asked?"

"I'm going to rope Lainey, Liz and Emily in as well."

"Okay – what time?"

"7:30?"

"Fine, crazy girl. You're on." Robin stood up and her knees buckled. She grabbed onto Kelly to steady herself.

"Rob? Are you alright?"

She nodded. "I just got up too quickly. It's been a big couple of days and I haven't been eating all that well."

Kelly searched her face but Robin seemed fine so she let it go. "See you at Jake's."

"Bye!" Robin waved as she walked back to her lab.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

She dialed Patrick's cell phone. It rang several times and she was about to hang up when she heard him fumble to answer it.

"Yeah" he said sleepily.

"Were you sleeping?"

"Not really. How are you?"

"I'm good. I know we didn't talk about plans for tonight but I was wondering if you would be up for a night at Jake's?"

"Mmm – any particular reason why?"

"If I told you it was to help Kelly land a casual date with Milo but she needed a group of people to do it, would that suffice?"

"I think you just gave me a headache. Am I going to be the only guy?"

"No I think there will be others."

"Okay. I suppose it would be the boyfriend thing to do"

"You're a star." Robin paused "Where are you right now?"

"Sleeping in your bed, wishing you were beside me."

Robin couldn't keep the smile from her face. "I'll see you in a few hours."

"Hey Robin" Patrick said before she hung up "I like your bed"

xoxoxoxoxooxoxo

Robin came through the door of her apartment and stopped when she saw Patrick sitting on the couch, reading the newspaper. Dressed in well worn jeans and a baby blue polo shirt, she wasn't sure she had ever seen a more delicious sight. She dropped her bag and walking to the couch, took the paper from his hands and straddled him.

"Hi" he purred.

Robin leaned in and pressed her lips just underneath his ear. "I love the way you smell"

Patrick ran his hands over her bottom. "I could get used to greetings like this."

Robin moved to the other side of his neck. "I like having you here."

"Are we ready to go to Jake's?"

"In a minute- I just want to put some jeans on." She pulled his ear lobe between her lips causing him to moan.

"If you keep doing that we are never getting to Jake's."

"Okay, okay" she said begrudgingly as she slid off his lap.

Going back into her room, she switched in a pair of low rider jeans, a green tank top and her favourite pair of heels. When she returned it was Patrick's turn to move to her. He pushed her up against the wall and sliding his hands underneath her tank top, seized her lips with his, gently pushing his tongue into her mouth. Robin grabbed hold of his belt loops and pulled him tighter against her.

"So about Jake's" he said against her mouth "Can we stay long enough to let Kelly make her move and then get back here?"

"I like the way you think – boyfriend of mine" she teased, pushing him away. "Let's go."

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Kelly, Liz and Lucky were already at a table by the time that Robin and Patrick walked in. Kelly waived them over. Robin sat down beside Kelly. "So is he here yet?"

"He's at the bar with Max" Robin turned to look at him and got a slap on the arm from Kelly for her trouble "Don't look – he'll see"

Robin looked at Liz. "When does Lainey get here because I think we need a psych consult."

Liz smiled. "Sweetie, just count yourself lucky you weren't here when they came through the door."

"Yeah, that's 10 minutes of my life I am NEVER getting back" Lucky said, lifting a beer bottle to his lips. Patrick gave him a knowing look.

"Over here" Kelly called out to Lainey as she entered the bar.

"Hey guys" she said taking a seat. "Did I miss anything?"

"Other than Kelly losing her mind?" Lucky asked.

"Shh" Liz admonished him. "You are here to be helpful and supportive"

"Why is that again?"

"You want to have sex don't you?"

Robin choked on her beer and caught Patrick's eye. He winked back at her. "So Kelly, when are you going to invite him over?" Robin asked.

"When the time is right – not a moment before"

"Hey Lucky- wanna shoot some pool?"

"Sure" he said, grateful for the rescue.

"Can I play the winner?" Robin asked.

"Are you sure you can handle either of us? I mean Robin, how much pool did you play in Paris?"

"Patrick, dude, I would…" Lucky started before Robin fixed him with a look.

"I played a little. We can play for money or something…..are you game?"

"Hey! How are you so sure Patrick is going to win?" Lucky was slightly offended.

"Because I've played against you" Patrick replied "and you play like a girl."

"Let's go Drake, I'm going to mop the floor with you."

With the girls left alone at the table, all attention turned to Kelly. She kept sneaking looks at Milo between tequila shots. Several rounds of tequila later, the girls were becoming louder and the boys were staying within the safety zone of the pool table.

"Oookay Kel" Robin slurred "Nowzzz the time – go get your man"

"Ya!" Lainey said slapping the table "Go sedush…sedush… go get 'em"

"Oookay – here I go" Kelly said proudly as she got to her feet unsteadily. "Whoa!" she said, putting her hand down on Liz's head in an attempt to steady herself.

Liz moved her head out of the way "Don't messh the hair"

Kelly pulled down her skirt and fluffed up her hair as she teetered over to the bar. "Hi Milo!" she announced loudly. Milo turned around in surprise and spilled his drink down the front of her.

"Oh god, oh Dr. Lee I'm so sorry" he said, his cheeks flushing a deep shade of crimson. Picking up some napkins, he began to frantically wipe at the beer on Kelly's top.

Max slapped the back of his head. "What are you doing? You're touching her…ta-tas…I mean breasts."

Milo froze and slowly looked up at Kelly. "Oh god"

"I'm not complaining" she purred. Clamping her hand over his, she gazed at him, slightly cross eyed. "Wanna come and shiit with my friends?"

"Do I want to what?"

"Shhit – I mean join us?"

Milo shot Max a panicked look. "Of course we do" Max said jumping in and giving Milo another smack against his head. Picking up their drinks, they walked back with Kelly to the table. The girls gave Kelly a round of applause when she returned.

"Hail the conquerrrrrereing , the conquerre – ah shit" Lainey said "I'm drunk" The table erupted in laughter.

Robin made her way to the pool table as Lucky and Patrick finished up their third game. "Ish it my turn yet?" she asked.

"A girl and drunk? Like taking candy from a baby" Patrick smiled evilly.

Lucky rolled his eyes and handing his cue to Robin leaned in to her ear. "Kick his ass, would you?"

"My pleasure" she whispered back. "Rack me up Pattycakes"

Patrick stood completely still. "Pattycakes?" he repeated slowly.

"You heard me, rack me up"

"Do you even know how to play?" he asked as he gathered the balls.

"Thish is not my first rodeo" she said getting ready to break.

"Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?"

Robin stood up, with tears in her eyes. "Ahh – girlfriend – I like that"

Patrick rolled his eyes. It was going to be a long pool game and an even longer night when the tequila worked its magic.

xoxoxoxoxox

Max turned to Lainey. "You're the doc that made Mrs. C sane right?"

Liz scoffed "That would be a loose definition of the word" she muttered loudly

Lainey and Max both looked at Liz. "Thank you for doing that" Max said earnestly. "She's a wonder"

"More like wonder bread" Liz continued

"Pardon?" Max asked.

"Squishy and no substance" Liz said loudly.

"Okay" Lucky interceded. "It's time for us to go. Come wifey" he said, taking her by the hand.

Just as they were leaving the table, Liz turned back. "Make shure you kissh him Kelly"

Milo blushed madly again. "You..you…you want to kiss me?" he asked, not quite believing his good fortune.

"Yesh, yesh I do" Kelly said, leaning and crashing her mouth over his before he could answer.

Max threw a peanut at Milo "That's no way to treat a lady Milo" he hissed.

"It's okay" Kelly said pulling away "I'm not a lady."

xoxoxoxoxox

Patrick watched as Robin cleared the table. He hadn't had a single shot since she broke. "You're a shark" he said walking towards her.

"Who me?" she asked innocently.

"Yes you" he said picking her up and setting her on the pool table.

"Take me to bed or lose me forever!" she said loudly.

"Happy to oblige" he said, throwing her over his shoulder and carrying her outside to hail a taxi.

"Uh Patrick" Robin said, still upside down on his shoulder.

"Yeah babe?"

"I'm going to be sick" she said.

He set her down quickly and she ran around the corner of the building, revisiting her tequila shots. Patrick followed her and held her hair back as she was sick.

Wiping her face, she turned to face him with tears streaming down her face. "Robin, what's wrong?" he asked with concern.

"You held my hair" she cried.

He looked at her like she was speaking a foreign language. "Um, yeah"

"I haven't had anyone to hold my hair in a long time. I love that you held my hair" she said throwing her arms around him.

He closed his arms around her. "Ready to go now?" he asked.

The only sound he heard was Robin snoring loudly. Sighing he picked her up and carried her back to the taxi stand. It had been a huge day in their relationship. She had keyed him and he had held her hair.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

Robin groaned as she felt sunlight land on her face. Lifting her head, she put her pillow over top of it. "Make it stop" she mumbled.

"Make what stop?" Patrick asked brightly.

"Go away and take the sun with you"

"Feeling a little rough?"

"Listen Mr. Happy Pants – no one likes a smartass"

"Is your hangover a little rough?"

"You're still talking – the universe hates me."

"Just because I had two beers to your, what was it, 8? 9? Shots of tequila?"

"Have I mentioned go away?"

"You know, the last time I saw you this grumpy we were on our way to the Markhaam Islands"

"Just.stop.talking."

"I've put on coffee – why don't you get in the shower – you'll feel better"

"I don't want to feel better" she grumbled "I just want to rip my head off to make the pounding stop"

Patrick pulled back the covers and took the pillow from her head. Robin rolled onto her back and growled at him. "That's it – I want the key back – you will only use it for evil, not good."

He leaned in closer to her "I thought you liked my evil side"

"I wouldn't come so close there big guy, I think something died in my mouth."

Patrick pulled back. "Charming. Go on, get up and into the shower"

"I have the day off" she whined.

"All the more reason to get up."

"I hate you"

"I know" he kissed her cheek before getting off the bed.

Robin groaned again before finally sitting up. After making the requisite promises to never drink again, she trudged to the shower and stood under the water, not moving.

xoxoxoxox

She was in the bedroom changing into shorts and a t-shirt when she heard Patrick call to her. "Robin, can you come out here…..please?"

"Okay, okay – keep your pants on. Actually, I'm feeling better, get your pants off and I'll show you how much……" Robin stopped "Hi Daddy."

Robert was leaning against the kitchen counter, drinking a cup of coffee. "Good morning sweetheart. What's he doing here?" he asked, jerking his thumb in Patrick's direction.

"I have a key" he said meekly. Robert and Robin both stared at him. "Some days I just shouldn't say words."

"What are you doing here Dad?" she asked, pouring herself a coffee.

"I hadn't seen you since the Nurses Ball and wanted to make sure you were okay. I hear you got rid of that idiot"

"I did"

"And replaced him with another?"

"Hey!" Robin and Patrick both exclaimed at the same time. "Dad, leave Patrick alone."

"I will if you will" he said, smiling.

"Stop it! God! Is it your life's mission to embarrass me?"

"Nah- just a happy benefit to being your father."

"Well as fun as this is – you know, in a root canal kind of way – I have to go. I have a meeting" Patrick leaned in to kiss Robin on the mouth but feeling Robert's gaze on him, moved to her cheek. "Robert – it's always a real….it's always real – bye"

Robin shot him a pleading look as he headed to the door but all he could do was shrug as he pulled the door closed behind him. "You are impossible!" she exclaimed.

"You sound just like your mother."

"Seriously. Why are you here?"

"I'm your father and it's in my job description to check up on you."

"I'm fine."

"So what is going on with you and Dr. Feelgood?"

Robin sighed. "I think I might need more tequila" she mumbled. "We're dating. Happy? Satisfied?"

"Mmm-hmm"

"What?"

"He hurt you before."

"I know but we've got past that and we're building on something."

"How long have you been in love with him?"

Robin covered her face with her hands. "Stop it!"

"Your mother has asked me to give you the third degree, I'm just holding up my end of the bargain."

"How is mom? I haven't heard from her in a few weeks."

"She's on assignment but she's doing well enough to ask about you every time I speak with her."

"Are you okay Dad?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I just realized I never ask you and I want to make sure you're okay"

He kissed the top of her head. "I'm fine – ecstatic to see you so happy. Of course that doesn't mean I have to like Drake."

"God forbid you like anyone I date" she said smiling.

"Father's prerogative." He paused "I am here for a reason though"

"I knew it" she muttered.

"I see Harris is on the front page of the paper again" he said, holding up the morning paper. "And I want to know if you need me to take care of him at all for you…..because I could."

Robin took the paper from his hands, reading the headline out loud. "The Senate hopeful and the Heiress. Bruce Harris replaces HIV+ doctor with bookstore heiress, Jenna Lane." She put the paper down on the counter. "Well at least they've stopped using my name and are just referring to me as the HIV+ doctor."

"I'm sorry luv. I know this has been hard."

"Like a lot of choices in my life this one just keeps biting me in the ass" she said as she poured herself another cup of coffee.

"I just want you to know that if you say the word, I will bring a world of hurt on him"

She kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks for wanting to torture him for me – I'm lucky to have a father like you"

Robert felt his cheeks go red. It had been an uneasy reunion with his daughter over the last several months. Both kept reaching out to each other, finding their way back. "Well" he said gruffly "I should go. Call me if you need anything"

"I will" Robert headed to the door. "Hey Dad?"

"Yes luv?"

"I love you."

"I love you too"

xoxoxoxoxo

"I think this is the one" Patrick said looking around.

"Are you sure?" Noah asked.

"Don't you like it? Look at the view out the back window."

Noah smiled. "I think it's great Patrick – the yard is great but are you sure you want a three bedroom house? Why not an apartment or a loft?"

Patrick shoved his hands in his pockets "I don't know. Why not a house? I want space and I like the idea of being able to sit outside."

"Don't you feel like you're jumping into things by buying a place? Wouldn't you rather rent?"

Noah was concerned at Patrick's sudden need for permanence in things. Even as a young boy he never wanted to be tied down to anything, he wanted to be free to move from one activity to the next.

"Dad, I'm a surgeon I think I can afford it."

"I'm not worried about your finances son. I just want you to make sure you're doing this for the right reasons."

Patrick made a face. "What do you mean, right reasons?"

"Are you buying a house because you want an anchor?"

He grimaced. "Really - a little less Oprah would not be a bad thing for you. I'm buying a house because I need a place to live. You could try being supportive."

"If you say so" Noah said, walking to the front room. "The rooms are huge – you'll need a ton of furniture"

"What do you mean, if I say so?" Patrick asked following him to the front of the house.

"The porch is nice – you could get some of those Adirondack chairs out in front"

"Are you ignoring me?"

"No – I'm being supportive"

"Okay – you've made your point – what are you trying to get at?"

Noah leaned up against the wall, hands in the pocket of his jeans. "Look, Patrick, you've just experienced an enormous loss in your life. I'm no fool – I know what Andrew was to you – that he was what kept you grounded when things went bad. I'm just afraid that now that Andrew's gone you will hold on to anything to feel safe- a house – Robin."

"What the hell does Robin have to do with this?" he said angrily.

"Easy tiger. Look, buy the house if you want, if it's going to make you happy but don't expect it to be more than it is – a place to live. And as for Robin, just make sure you aren't using her to fill the void that Andrew has left."

Patrick glared at his father. "I would never use her" he said evenly.

"Not knowingly" Noah said "but Patrick, you're moving quickly on a lot of fronts and I just think you need to be aware of your motivations for it."

"I thought you liked Robin."

"I do, very much which is why I don't want you to screw it up."

"And you think a house is going to do that?"

"Not necessarily but you need to examine your expectations. If you're just looking for a place to live then renting an apartment will suffice. But if you're looking for more, you need to be up front with yourself and with others."


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

"That's great Dr. Drake" said the realtor "I'll hold on to the deposit and then when the house closes at the end of the month, it will be cashed by the vendor. This house is a steal at this price"

Patrick smiled warmly. "I think so too. I can't wait to move in. Thanks for all your help."

"It has been a pleasure – you are by far one of my easiest clients- from showing to sale in one day."

Patrick shook his hand and pocketed all the documents he had just signed, confirming him as a homeowner.

Driving back to the MetroCourt, he felt a sudden burst of energy. As an adult he had lived month to month in apartments, not wanting to sign a lease as it was too great a commitment but now, he was putting down roots and it felt good. He had a reason or reasons to stay where he was. The impact of Andrew's suicide seemed diminished in the euphoria of his purchase.

He changed into a pair of black pants and a light grey shirt and headed back to Robin's. Though he had a healthy respect for her father and preferred him at a distance, he was pleased that she was rebuilding her relationship with him. When they were first getting to know each other, she had told him the story of her father's death and how it should be a cautionary tale for him, pushing him to seize the opportunity to reunite with his own father while he was alive. Robert had mysteriously reappeared during the encephalitis outbreak and it had sent Robin reeling. He remembered quite clearly the look of devastation on her face when he walked in to her room after Robert had announced that he was leaving again. The hurt in her eyes told him she was 13 again, losing him for a second time. She seemed to thrive more with Robert around and for that reason alone he was willing to put up with the implied threats of bodily harm.

Standing outside her apartment, he could hear soft strains of music escaping from underneath the door. He put his ear to the door and smiled as he heard Robin moving about, humming along. Putting the key in the door, he turned it and slowly opened the door. He stopped in the entrance and looked around. There were candles lit everywhere, the table was beautifully set and Robin, in a pink, strapless shift dress was dancing in the kitchen.

Patrick closed the door and snuck up behind her in the kitchen. She jumped as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Paatrick!" she said, turning around to face him.

"You're beautiful" he said, dropping a kiss on her lips. "What's the occasion?" he asked nodding his head to the living room.

"What was the last date we had?"

Patrick looked at her "Well…the Nurses Ball?"

"I was with he who shall not be named"

"Greece?"

"Carrying me out of the bar over your shoulder doesn't count"

"Hmm – last night?"

"Holding my hair is sweet but still does not count as a date."

He shrugged "Then you've got me"

"Exactly. So this is a date – our first date in dare I say almost two months" she said passing him a glass of wine. He took it and leaned against the counter, grinning at her. "What?" she asked, suddenly very self conscious.

"Have I put you and amazing together in a sentence lately?"

Her cheeks turned crimson. "Stop" she demurred.

"It's true" he whispered as he leaned in, nuzzling the side of her neck. Robin tilted her neck to the side, closing her eyes at the feel of his breath on her skin. Reaching her hand up she threaded her fingers through his hair.

"Let's skip dinner and go to bed" he said.

"Not a chance. I've got beef with gorgonzola sauce and roasted tomatoes in the oven."

"If you leave them there, we could work up an appetite."

"Or we could burn off dinner" she suggested. Patrick pursed his lips. "Are you pouting?"

"I don't pout"

"Riiight. Here, could you please bring the salad to the table?"

Patrick pecked her on the lips as he took the salad from her. "I didn't know you were an Ella fan" he said commenting on the music.

"I LOVE Ella Fitzgerald" she said from the kitchen "There's a map of the world in her voice."

Walking back to the kitchen, Patrick pulled her by her hand out into the living room. Wrapping his arms around her, they swayed to the music. Reaching behind her, he pulled her ponytail down.

"It gets in my way when I'm cooking" she said quietly.

He ran a hand through her hair. "I like it in the way."

Robin closed her eyes, putting her head on his chest and heard his heart pounding. She smiled, sure that hers was doing the same thing. They danced, glued together, until the over timer pulled them apart.

"Dinner's ready" Robin said, bounding to the kitchen.

"Do you need me to do anything?"

"Besides me?" she said under her breath.

"Pardon?" Patrick asked.

"Nothing – nope, just have a seat."

Patrick sat down as Robin came out carrying two plates. His eyes widened as he saw the plate in front of him. "You? You did this?"

"I'm not just a genius in the lab you know" she teased.

Patrick thought of telling her about the house but in the end decided he wanted to surprise her with his news. Their conversation flowed easily and they were both reminded that when they were apart, this – the easy talks, the quiet comfort of each other's company – was something they had missed as much as anything else.

Putting his fork down on his plate, he looked at Robin lovingly. "I think that might be the best meal I've ever had."

"Are you trying to butter me up?" she asked.

"Is it working?"

Robin got up from her chair and walking over to him, sat down on his lap. "You don't need to butter me up" she said huskily, kissing the corner of his mouth. Patrick opened his mouth slightly as she moved to the other corner. Patrick threaded his fingers through her hair, his tongue darting out and licking her lips. Robin moved her head and began to kiss him along his jaw line, dragging her tongue over where she had just kissed. Patrick ran his thumbs down either side of her neck, leaving his hands to rest on her shoulders.

Robin began to slowly unbutton his shirt, pushing it back over his shoulders. Reaching behind her, she dipped two fingers in his wine glass and brought them to his mouth. He sucked on them greedily while fumbling with the zipper on the back of her dress. Her dress gave way and Patrick grinned appreciatively at the lack of bra. He gently cupped her breasts, letting them rest fully in his hands. He circled her nipples with his thumbs feeling them harden under his touch. Robin's breath became ragged as she arched into his hands. Dipping his head, he took one of her breasts in his mouth, lathering it in kisses. Pulling away, he gently blew on it, sending shivers through Robin's body.

Shifting underneath her, Robin could feel the evidence of his growing arousal. Pushing against him she moved her hips in slow, rhythmic circles, causing Patrick to breathe in sharply. Reaching behind him, he pushed the dishes out of the way before lifting her to sit on the table. Robin bit her lip to keep from crying out as he bent his head and dropped kisses over her white lace panties. Her legs parted a little wider and she swallowed thickly as he traced his hands up her inner thighs.

"God Robin, I love the way you feel" he said, hooking his fingers around her panties and slowly pulling them from her hips and down her legs.

He tossed them on top of her dress. Standing up, he cupped her face as he kissed her fiercely. Robin had to pull away just to catch her breath. Her hands traveled down his chest, tracing across his abs before grabbing hold of his waistband. She tried to concentrate on his belt buckle as he moved to her other breast. He pushed his hips into her. Leaning back on the table, Robin wrapped her legs around his hips and ground against him through his pants.

Pulling her up, he walked them over to the couch with her still wrapped around him, her mouth assaulting his neck and shoulders. The feel of her breath on his skin was like electricity coursing through him. He lay them down as Robin's hand deftly unzipped his pants and reaching inside took hold of his arousal.

"God – you are so hard" she hissed.

Patrick leaned back allowing her to stroke him. He swallowed thickly as her thumb traced circles over his sensitive head. Unable to take anymore, Patrick undid the button on his pants and pushed them over his hips while Robin continued to stroke him.

"Aaahhh" he exclaimed as she moved her hand in semi-circles up and down his length.

He gently pulled her hand away to step out of his pants. Picking them up, he pulled a condom from his wallet and left it on the table. He nestled between her legs, spreading them further apart as he nipped at the silky flesh of thighs. He teasingly ran a finger over her opening, slipping it in before pulling it out quickly. Robin moaned and tried to move her hips in search of his fingers. He repeated it again causing a growl from Robin. Slowly, he slid two fingers in and moved them around. He dropped leisurely, deliberate kisses on her hips while she continued to ride his hand. Feeling her tighten, he removed his hand and kissed his way up her body. He circled her navel with his tongue.

"What are you doing?" she asked as she fisted his hair.

"Tattooing dirty words" he murmured against her flesh. He moved up her body, capturing her lips, his tongue in search of hers. He returned his fingers to her centre and smiled as Robin moaned his name into his mouth. "You're so sexy" he said in a low voice. He kept up his ministrations until he felt her tighten around his fingers. Once again he pulled them away.

"Patrick!" she moaned in frustration. "I was almost there"

"I know' he said evilly as he suckled on her earlobe.

He felt Robin's hands all over his body leaving a trail of heat wherever they had been. Robin's hand went to his erection and stopped when she felt his own hand over it. Closing her hand over his, she moved them at an agonizingly slow pace. Patrick began to buck against their hands, causing her to apply more pressure.

"Jesus Robin."

Sitting up, she licked at his chest. "You taste so good" she said, her hand still controlling their speed. Feeling his own stomach begin to tighten, Patrick reached for the condom and pushing Robin's hand out of the way, sheathed himself.

"Now" he panted "I need to have you right now" He leaned over top of her as Robin draped her legs over his shoulders. She was left breathless as he thrust deeply inside her.

"Take me Patrick" she said, her eyes locked on his. Patrick growled as he pushed his hips hard against her. Robin, on the brink for so long already, drowned in her climax, his name tearing from her lips. Patrick's hold body shook as his release took him over.

They collapsed on top of each other, their bodies slick with sweat. "I think I like dates with you" he said, when he was finally able to speak. Robin caressed his arms, completely lost within him. Once he was able to stand, Patrick carried Robin into the bedroom where, spent, they snuggled into each other and fell asleep.

Robin woke in the middle of the night to find the bed empty. Pulling the duvet off the bed and wrapping it around her, she walked out to the living room. Patrick was standing completely lost in thought at the window. His body was bathed in moonlight and Robin felt heat pool immediately between her legs. She chided herself for being so weak for him.

"Hey" she called to him softly. Turning his head, Robin could see his eyes wet with tears. "You okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah" he said gruffly.

Robin sat on the couch and opened the duvet. "Come sit with me"

Without hesitation, Patrick joined her on the couch, allowing their limbs to tangle under the duvet. "I'm thinking about Andrew" he said quietly.

Robin grimaced. "What are you thinking?"

He absently ran his finger through her hair. "I have two days off left and I think I'm going to fly to DC and tell Nathalie."

Robin looked at him surprise. "Are you sure?"

He nodded. "I just…she should know"

She looked at him lovingly, brushing his hair from his forehead. "Do you want me to go with you?"

"Oh Robin" he said thickly. He exhaled. "I'd be a million times braver if you were there but I think this is something that I need to do on my own." She nodded. "Do you think it's the right thing?"

Robin paused. "You know, Patrick, I don't think in a situation like this that right and wrong applies. I think it's about what's best. You know Nathalie and you know Andrew – all you can do is what's best for them."

"I'm scared" he said quietly.

She kissed his cheek. "I'll be here waiting for you when you get back. Or you can call me and I'll be on the next plane to DC"

"You'd do that for me?"

"Of course – I lo – we're a team"

Patrick rested his head against hers. "I should probably buy a ticket and pack."

"Why don't you take a shower, I'll find you a ticket on line and then we can go back to the MetroCourt together and pack a bag."

"It's the middle of the night" he said simply.

"I know but if you're not going to sleep, neither am I."

xoxoxoxoxoxo

It was after 8 by the time they had booked a ticket, packed a bag and dropped him at the airport. Robin extracted a promise that he would call when he landed, after he told her and anytime in between that he needed some support. She was exhausted and ready to crawl back into bed and sleep the morning away. But she couldn't. Something had been gnawing at her for a few weeks and there would be no sleep until she had an answer.

Sitting on the bathroom counter, she waited and watched.

The stick turned blue.

Robin laid it down beside the other five blue sticks on the counter.

"Shit."


	38. Chapter 38

a/n: we're into some angsty moments but have faith.

Chapter 38

Patrick sighed as the plane landed in Washington. He had been sick to his stomach at the airport and once on the plane. He had no plan for what he was going to do – for how he was going to tell Nathalie that her husband had lied to her for the last year of his life before killing himself. Not for the first time since leaving Port Charles he wished he had taken Robin up on her offer to come with him. He could use an injection of her ever-present courage.

He had considered calling Nathalie before leaving Port Charles but was afraid that he would lose his nerve was he heard her voice on the phone. He had no baggage to collect and headed straight to the rental car counter. Driving to Nathalie's house he tried to pull his thoughts together and come up with some semblance of coherence but nothing would come. Winging it was going to be his only option.

Pulling into the driveway, he briefly thought about turning the car around and getting back on the plane to Robin's waiting arms. He put his head down on the steering wheel.

"Fuck you Andrew – I will never forgive you for this"

He pulled the keys from the ignition and walking to the door, rang the bell. He couldn't help but smile as Grace came bounding down the hallway. She screamed happily when she saw Patrick at the door.

"Mommy!! Mommy!! It's Patty!"

Nathalie came to the door looking surprised. "Patrick?"

"Hey" he said smiling sheepishly. "Yet again I appear without calling."

"Come on in" she said opening the door to him. Patrick had just walked through when Grace jumped in his arms.

"Do you love me Patty?"

He kissed her cheek. "Of course I do Gracie- do you love me?"

"Yes"

"How much?"

"Bigger than the ocean"

"Wow, that's a lot of love" he said kissing her cheek again.

"That's because you're handsome."

Patrick laughed and set her down but she wouldn't let go of his hand. He gave Nathalie a look.

"It's a new thing" she said "She is clinging to any important man in her life. When my father came for a visit she tried to follow him into the washroom."

"Ah" he said walking hand in hand with her to the back room.

"What brings you by?" Nathalie asked curiously.

"Just felt like a visit"

"Did you mess things up with Robin again?"

Patrick laughed. "Actually everything is going really well there. We're together and trying to make it work."

"Have you told her you love her?"

"Not yet"

"What are you waiting for?" she asked in exasperation. "A bolt of lightning?"

"Maybe for the clouds to spell it out so I don't have to say it."

Nathalie grinned. "Coffee?" Patrick nodded. "Why are you so afraid?"

Patrick looked at his watch. "This must be a record – I've been here less than five minutes and you're already on my case"

"Well if you weren't such a cement head I wouldn't have to be" she teased handing him a coffee.

Grace called into Patrick's lap and traced her fingers over his eyes.

"What are you doing there Gracie-lou?"

"Making sure I 'member your face in case you die like Daddy"

Patrick gave Nathalie a panicked look. "Gracie, sweetie, Patrick's not going to die"

"He might" she insisted.

Patrick pinched her nose. "No – I'm going to be around for a long time – how else are we going to get married?"

"Oh" she said pensively. "Okay"

"Grace, hon – why don't you go and draw a picture for Patty?" Grace looked cautiously from Patrick to her mother before sliding from his lap and going to her playroom.

Patrick looked at Nathalie's face. She looked pale and drawn – more so than she had before. His heart felt like it might buckle under the weight of his secret.

"How are things going Nat?"

She shrugged. "Oh you know" she said lightly "Up to my eyes in bottles and diapers and thank you cards. Who knew there were so many thank you cards to write after something like this?"

"Can I help?" he offered.

"Actually maybe you could – you have atrocious handwriting – maybe I just get you to scribble a few lines and people will just assume it's a thank you as opposed to a doodle."

Patrick smiled. "Making doctor jokes already I see"

"Please – you doctors make it so easy"

"Shark"

"Quack"

"Nat – I have something…" The baby monitored announced that Oliver was awake and Nathalie smiled apologetically as she headed upstairs to get her son. Grace returned in search of Patrick, with a paper in hand. She handed it to him.

"What's this?" he asked looking at her drawing of two men.

"It's you and Daddy"

"Why do we have capes?"

" Cause you're superheroes – you save people 'n stuff."

"We're superheroes?"

She nodded earnestly. "Daddy was making medicine to fix people and you fix their heads."

Patrick sighed, feeling his eyes fill with tears as he looked at Gracie's sincere face. His resolve was fading. She thought her father to be a hero and how much of her innocence would it cost her if he told Nathalie the truth?

Nathalie came back down the stairs with Oliver in her arms. Patrick held his arms out and took him from her. He cradled him and cooed. Looking up he saw Nathalie grinning.

"What?"

"Looks good on you"

"Don't start"

"Seriously Patrick – you'd be a great dad."

He shrugged, giving Oliver his finger to suck on. "Not sure I'm interested. I'll settle for hanging out with your kids."

"Works for me." She turned to Grace. "Sweetie, why don't I put in a Dora video for you in the t.v. room?" she suggested, holding out her hand. Gracie took it and headed off with her mother. Nathalie returned with a serious look on her face.

"Think we can go inside? I need to talk to you"

"Sure- I kind of need to talk to you too" he said getting up, following her. Patrick sat on the couch making faces at Oliver, trying to elicit a laugh. He fingered the letter inside his jacket pocket.

Nathalie sat down and put several prescription bottles in front of him. Patrick looked at her in surprise. He picked the bottles up and read the prescriptions. They belonged to Andrew.

"I found these in a box buried at the back of his closet, more were in another box sent from his office. Do you know what they're for?"

Patrick licked his lips nervously. "Well, uh, they're often prescribed for neuro-muscular disorders."

"ALS" she said simply. Patrick held his breath. "ALS – he had ALS and he never told me."

"Nat – I'm sorry"

"Did you know?" Patrick shook his head. "I feel so betrayed" she said, trying to choke back tears. "I thought he loved me, I thought we trusted each other."

Noah's words came back to him in a flood. _Truth does not always set you free_ "Nat – he loved you – loved you more than life itself."

"Why didn't he tell me?"

"He was probably afraid."

"Of me?" she asked incredulously  
Patrick shook his head. "Of himself. Of needing you – of the changes it meant for your relationship. But Nathalie – you can't doubt that he loved you – he would go on and on about you in nauseating detail. It was enough to make me want to hang up on him." he said trying to lighten the mood a little.

She smiled appreciatively. "I suppose I'm grateful in a way – for the car accident."

He studied her face. "How come?" he asked cautiously.

"Well it saved him the pain of what was to come – he would have hated being dependent on me to meet his needs – it would have killed him. Does it make me a bad person to think that?"

Patrick shook his head. "No" he said hoarsely. "It makes you honest"

Tears started to flow down her face. "I miss him Patrick – god! I feel like there's an empty space where my heart used to be."

He blew out his cheeks and held open his free arm. Nathalie moved into his arm and buried her head in his shoulder, sobbing. He knew in that moment that he would never tell her about the letter. She had found peace and he wasn't about to take that away from her.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

"You are definitely pregnant" Kelly said carefully.

Robin sat on the exam table and clenched her eyes shut. "The six home tests I took all said that too."

Kelly did a double take. "Six? Robin why did you take six tests – those things are about 98 accurate."

She shrugged. "Yeah, well the first ones I bought were the cheap ones and I thought maybe they weren't as good as the more expensive ones so I felt the need to test a few."

Kelly suppressed a smile. "You're about five weeks along" Robin nodded solemnly. "Robs, I'll have to call in an HIV specialist if you want to stay as my patient – you would be my first HIV+ patient."

"That would be fine" she said evenly.

"How do you think Patrick's going to take the news?" she asked.

"Not well"

"Why – he doesn't want kids?"

"He's not the father. Bruce is."


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

"Bruce?" Kelly asked "Are you sure?"

Robin nodded. "Patrick and I have only been sleeping together for about a week and I've had my period since we were in Greece, so it's definitely Bruce's."

"How do you feel about that?"

"Like I want to throw up but that could just be the morning sickness" she smiled weakly. "Kel- what am I going to do?"

Kelly sat beside her on the exam table. "You have options Robin – you don't have to go through with the pregnancy"

"I know but the one thing I don't have an option about is telling Bruce that he needs to be tested for HIV. I can't imagine that's going to go over very well considering how we left things. And then I have to tell Patrick that I'm pregnant but someone else is the daddy." Robin put her face in her hands "Gah! How did this happen?"

Kelly put her arm around her friend. "I'm here for you every step of the way, no matter what you decide. Robin, you've done nothing wrong – you're pregnant."

Robin exhaled. "This is going to cost me everything" she said simply.

"It doesn't have to – Patrick might be supportive."

"I can't ask him to do that – be with me while every day my belly will show that I've been with someone else."

"If you guys love each other, you can get through this."

"I'm not so sure" she said quietly.

"Don't count him out yet."

"This might be my only chance to have a baby" she said, rubbing her still flat belly. "Do you think it would be wrong of me to have it?"

Kelly looked at her friend in surprise. "Wrong? Why would it be wrong?"

"Because I'm HIV+" she said, staring at the ground.

"Robin" she said kindly "look at me." Robin looked up. "You are asymptomatic, disgustingly healthy and there is no reason to think you won't live for a long time. Why shouldn't you have a baby? You will make an amazing mother and any child would be lucky to be loved by you."

"But I could die and leave the child without a mom" she fidgeted with her fingers, twisting her rings round and round.

Kelly put her hand over Robin's. "You could be hit by a car just as easily. Robin, if you want to have a baby, if this is something you feel in your heart you want to do, then do it."

Robin felt her eyes wet with tears. "I hadn't every really allowed my mind to go there, you know? Only in those stupid daydreams you have that you never tell anyone. I would tell myself it's selfish and that being a mother just wasn't part of the plan for me."

"Plans have a way of changing and maybe this is the new plan."

"What am I going to do?" the bewilderment was evident. "People are going to accuse me of doing this on purpose"

"What? Robin – trust me – I see people in my practice every day who are shocked – shocked –that they are pregnant and they aren't accused of doing it on purpose."

Robin smirked. "Yeah but Kelly with the number of precautions I take – that I have to take – the likelihood of me becoming pregnant is very small."

"Very small but not impossible. Yes you take a lot of precautions and do so every time but nothing is a guarantee, except abstinence. Robin you shouldn't be held to a different or a higher standard."

"But I will be" she said, wiping her tears. "I always am. There are people who think that I shouldn't even be having sex let alone a baby."

Kelly exhaled. "Well fuck them then. Tell them to keep their lame ass opinions to themselves. Why shouldn't you have sex? Why shouldn't you have great sex? Have a baby? Get married?"

Robin smiled as Kelly became more heated. "You are a gorgeous, healthy young woman. Do people tell cancer patients that they shouldn't have sex? That they shouldn't have babies? Honestly – it kills me that people feel comfortable making moral judgments about a disease – it's a disease and morality has nothing to do with it!"

"Can I get that on a business card to hand out to people as my belly starts to get bigger?"

"You just send them to me, I'll set them straight." Kelly laughed. "So, you think you'll go through with it?"

Robin shrugged. "I may never get another chance" she said quietly.

"When are you going to tell the daddy and the not-daddy?"

"Would it be wrong to send a singing telegram to Bruce so that I don't actually have to see him?"

"I think I'd pay money to see that" she said laughing.

Robin blew out her cheeks. "Patrick is going to be so hurt. He's going to feel like I let him down."

"Rob, I'll tell you what I tell the other single mothers who are on my service – this time, these next nine months are about you. People need to either support you or get out of your way. Anyone who does not contribute to you feeling happy and healthy has no business in your life. Actually that applies to people, pregnant or not. Patrick might surprise you, you know."

"But in order for him to surprise me I have to surprise him first and again, that's not going to be fun. I feel like my head is going to explode."

"It's a lot to take in all at once. Look women who plan pregnancies who are overwhelmed when they find out so I would imagine that's doubled when it's a surprise."

The two friends sat in silence for several minutes. Robin looked up at Kelly, a few tears having escaped her eyes. "I'm scared" she whispered.

Kelly pulled her into a hug. "You're not alone. You've got me, Lainey, Liz and even Epiphany. You'll get through this."

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Robin sat on her couch, her hand draped over her stomach. She knew she had to tell Bruce as soon as possible so that he could be tested for HIV. Even if she hadn't been a responsible person before being diagnosed with HIV, she would be now. The virus had a way of making you take ownership of things whether you wanted to or not. Regardless of her feelings for Bruce, she had to tell him that he had been exposed. Kelly had given her several booklets on pregnancy and HIV but she couldn't read them. Closing her eyes she tried to picture telling Patrick but every scenario ended the same, with him walking out.

She couldn't ask him to take this on. He was unsure whether he wanted children, to ask him to stand by her while she carried another man's baby was too much. The irony of having to choose between a man she loved or a baby when she had been sure she would have neither was not lost on her. She had yet to tell him that she loved him, having tripped on the words every time. There would be no point in telling him now – it would be a cruel thing to do.

Getting up, she walked to her computer and turned it on. She should be awash in euphoria at the prospect of being a mother but she felt dread and panic was beginning to engulf her. There was only one person who could help her through this.

_Brenda,_

Need to get away for a bit. Can I come for a visit?

R.

Looking to retreat to the safety of her best friend, she looked up possible flights to Rome. She would have to fly through New York to get there and so resolved to see Bruce, tell him the news and then hide in Rome for a few days. Brenda's reply popped up as she stared at her computer screen.

_Robs_

Of course – let me know when.

What's wrong?

B. xoxo

Robin replied.

_Will tell all when I get there._

Thanks.

She returned to her flight search and finally found one, leaving on the weekend. Pulling out her credit card, she sighed as she hit the purchase button. Running away would solve nothing in the long term but it would allow her, with Brenda's help, to get her head around the sudden detour her life was taking. She had just turned off her computer when she heard the front door of her apartment open. She stiffened immediately.

"Hey Robin – you here? I'm back" Patrick called to her.


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

Robin quickly wiped at her face and came out of the back room. "Hey" she said softly.

Patrick closed the distance between them in an instant, wrapping her in his arms. He held her tightly, his chin resting on her head.

"You okay?" she asked, still in his arms.

"Just really happy to be holding you right now."

Robin pulled back and took his hand. Leading him to the couch, she pulled him down beside her. "How did it go?"

Patrick sighed heavily. It had been all he could do not to breakdown on the plane ride home. He ached for Nathalie and for Grace. When he thought about how close he had come to adding to their pain, he gave a silent prayer of thanks that he hadn't just blurted it out. The manner of Andrew's death would be a secret he would take to his grave and he knew it was the right thing to do.

"I didn't tell her" Patrick stretched out on the couch, putting his head in Robin's lap. She stroked his hair.

"What happened?"

"I was getting ready to tell her but first Gracie drew me a picture of Drew and I and she made us into superheroes"

"Like your ego needs that" she teased.

Patrick laughed lightly. "I think I look quite stunning in a cape" He lifted his arm, searching for Robin's free hand. She interlaced her fingers with his. "And then when Nat and I sat down to talk, she pulled out his meds – she had found them and had figured out that he had ALS. She called the car accident a blessing."

"So you thought it better to let her have that?"

He nodded. "Do you think I did the right thing?" he asked quietly.

"I think you did what needed to be done.

"She's hurting – so is Grace"

"And they will for a long time."

"You know, I don't think you ever get over the death of someone you love. I think you figure out how to live with it but this whole idea of getting over it is nuts." Robin smiled and kissed his forehead. "I've asked Nat to come for a visit with the kids, when she's feeling up to it."

"That will be nice" Robin said, her mind wandering back to her own news.

"Where did you just go?" he asked, looking up at her.

Robin squeezed his hand. "I'm right here. So how do you feel?"

Patrick was silent for a minute. The first answer that came to his mind was that he felt safe. There, in her warm embrace, everything made sense. But that was not an answer he could bring himself to give – not yet.

"I'm okay"

Robin continued to stroke his hair. She liked the weight of him against her – there was a sense of security that it gave to her. Her stomach turned and flopped as she opened her mouth to tell him but the words wouldn't come. Knowing the minute she told him her news that everything would change, she wanted to hold onto this moment for as long as she could.

"I'll never understand it" Patrick said.

"Understand what?"

"How could he do it? I've known him my entire life – since first grade – we did everything together – I was best man at his wedding – he sat next to me at my mom's funeral – how could he let himself get to a point where he was willing to kill himself?"

Robin pursed her lips together. "It's not something you have control over"

"Bullshit" he said, somewhat angrily. "He was the smartest guy I know – smarter than me by half and if he had just said something, anything I would have helped him – he didn't have to do this." Patrick could feel a change in Robin's breathing.

"Smart has nothing to do with it Patrick. He probably felt he had to do this – that it was the only way for the pain to stop. I know you're angry with him" she said softly "but in time, you'll find a way to let go of that and just remember him as he was."

"I don't see it happening. I was devastated after my mother's death. There were days it hurt so badly I could barely breathe but not once did I ever think of doing what he did. I don't accept that he did this – knowing how much he was going to hurt the people he left behind – he's a coward and I don't think I knew him at all."

"Patrick." Robin stopped and closed her eyes for a moment. "There are times when the pain you have can be so bad that it outweighs the pain that your choices could cause others. It can be dark and all consuming."

Patrick's eyes darted around the room before he sat up. He turned to Robin, eyes narrowed. "Are you speaking from some kind of experience?" he asked carefully.

Robin rubbed her eyes with her thumb and forefinger. Looking at him she grimaced. "I am"

"Robin?" Patrick's stomach suddenly tightened in knots. He sensed what she was about to tell him and his body braced for the ache that he knew was coming.

Her eyes were glued to her knees. "I was a mess after Stone died. I was trying to deal with so much – my diagnosis – Stone's death and then Alan wanted to start me on a new drug protocol" she swallowed thickly "this was at the forefront of antiretroviral treatment and I was scared." She exhaled deeply. "I was in such a dark place, Patrick. I was unreachable. I was sure I was going to die, slowly and painfully as Stone had and I couldn't cope." Patrick reached over and rubbed the back of her neck. "There was a bridge that I used to visit – it holds a lot of memories – and I went one night and stood on it, feet reaching over the edge and I looked down. It's funny in a way- I've lied to myself for years – saying that I wasn't really going to do it, that I was just testing my limits that night. But we all have a little place in our brains where the unadulterated truth lives and I know that if I hadn't been stopped, I would have tumbled off the bridge."

Patrick suddenly realized he'd been holding his breath. "What…what stopped you?" he asked hoarsely.

"Not what – who. Jason." Patrick nodded as understanding dawned. "I was in so much pain Patrick I couldn't see or think beyond getting through the next five minutes. And then even that became too difficult. It's not difficult to lose hope, it can evaporate quite quickly actually and I think maybe Andrew just got boxed in where he couldn't find a way out."

"Do you…does it" Patrick ran his hands over his face. "does your mind ever go there now?"

She gave him a half smile. "Not like that. I learned a valuable lesson that night"

"What's that?"

"If you keep kicking at the darkness long enough, eventually it bleeds daylight." For the second time that day, Robin found herself being held tightly against Patrick's body.

"I'm glad you….I'm just so glad" he murmured into her hair.

"There's something else I need to tell you" she said against his chest.

"Tell you me you have good news" he pleaded. "I don't think I could handle one more piece of bad news."

Robin swallowed hard, feeling her nerve evaporate. "I, uh, I'm going to Rome to visit Brenda."

Patrick pulled back. "When? How come?"

"Uh" Robin stammered, trying not to meet his eyes. "She's got a lot going on right now and really needs a friend – so I told her I would fly out tomorrow and meet her."

"Oh" Patrick couldn't conceal his disappointment. He had planned to surprise her on the weekend by taking her to see his new house. "How long are you going for?"

"Not more than a week" her cheeks began to flush. "I haven't seen her in months so it'll be great to catch up."

Patrick nodded. "I hope I get to meet her someday"

"Be careful what you wish for" she laughed.

He smiled, brushing her hair from her face. "Are you okay?"

"Me? I'm fine" she said, covering. "Why do you ask?"

"I don't know – you just seem – are you tired?"

Robin nodded. "Yeah, a little. Lots going on at the moment."

He stroked her face. "Can I help?"

She shook her head against his hand. "Thanks but no – it's up to me to deal with it."

Leaning in, he brushed his lips against hers, reveling in the sensation of their softness. "Promise me something?" he asked.

"Sure" she said, nipping at his lips.

"If it ever…if you ever start to feel like that night on the bridge – promise you'll tell me? I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you"

"Dr. Drake are you saying you'd be sorry if you lost me?" she teased, trying to lighten the mood.

He cupped her face, forcing her to look at him. "More than you know."

They sat on the couch, tangled up in each other, occasionally sneaking kisses or touching each other. She closed her eyes as her head rested against his chest – both of their lives were about to change but only she knew. No matter how much she wanted to, she wasn't ready to tell her secret. Patrick insisted on ordering take out, ordering Robin to stay on the couch and rest.

After dinner, he sat on her bed and watched her pack.

"What?" she said as she noticed him staring.

"I'm trying to figure out if I can fit in your suitcase and go with you."

"You're cute when you're pathetic" she teased.

"I don't know why it bugs me that you're going – it just does."

"I'm coming back you know."

"I know – I guess I'm just used to having you around."

"I will call from Rome" she said, folding a pair of pants into her bag.

"Robin, I, uh…you know how important you are to me, right?" Patrick chided himself for his cowardice at not telling her how he really felt. Nathalie had continued to push him to be honest with Robin, convinced that he would be rewarded if he did so. Patrick was not as sure.

She nodded, smiling "and you to me." She zipped up her bag and put it by the door. "All set" she said as she returned to the room.

"Good" Patrick said, pulling her on top of him, running his hands under her shirt. "Now, about my going away present." Robin actually stiffened.

The stress of having to tell Bruce and ultimately Patrick along with the harsh reality that she may have actually infected someone had temporarily quashed her sex drive. Not to mention, she felt a little hit and miss with her nausea.

She rolled off of him and laid on her side. "Do you mind if we don't tonight?"

Patrick looked at her suspiciously. "Is something wrong?"

"No – I'm just – I'm tired and I have to get up early tomorrow to catch my flight to JFK."

"Do you want me to leave?"

Robin bit her bottom lips, tears filling her eyes. "No" she said softly.

Patrick was slightly panicked. Robin was always so even keeled and to see her suddenly well up was disconcerting. "Hey, hey" he said moving closer to her. "Robin" he wiped at her tears.

"I'm sorry – I'm just a little emotional."

"It was the talk earlier, wasn't it. I had no idea it would stir up feelings.."

She cut him off by putting her fingers to his lips. "Don't apologize. Let's go to bed."

Both stripped off their clothes and burrowed under the covers. Robin nestled in as closely as she could to him, not wanting to have even the most minuscule amount of space between their bodies. If it was going to be their last night together, she wanted the feel of his skin burned into hers.

Her alarm sounded early and though she insisted on taking a taxi, Patrick got up with her and drove her to the airport.

"Come back soon" he said as he kissed her deeply.

"I will" she said, kissing him one more time before heading to the security gate.

Patrick watched her disappear behind the security partition. "I love you" he whispered to himself.

xoxoxoxoxo

Robin stood in front of the door, pulling down her white jacket. She nervously licked her lips as she raised her hand and knocked on the door. She held her breath as the door opened.

"Hi Bruce."


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

Chapter 41

Bruce stared at her. "Robin?"

Robin felt her stomach twist in knots. The last time she had seen him, she had been yelling at him for his betrayal of their supposed friendship. She had so much contempt for him that she was afraid it would seep from her pores. There were very few people in her life she hated but he was one of them.

"I'm sorry to show up unannounced but we need to talk."

He eyed her suspiciously. "Fine – come in."

He stepped out of the way and let Robin through. Bruce led her into the inner room of his hotel suite. Robin tried to stand straight, hoping it would stop her knees from knocking together.

"Have a seat. Coffee?" he said solicitously.

"No thank you. I won't be staying long."

"What brings you by?" Bruce was the consummate politician, giving nothing away, waiting to take his lead from her.

Robin exhaled quietly. "There is no easy way to say this and so I'm just going to say it – I'm pregnant."

Bruce stared at her, mouth slightly open. "Congratulations" he said in an attempt to recover.

Robin frowned. "It's yours."

He blinked several times. "Are you sure?" he asked in a low voice.

She nodded. "We can talk about that in a second but I need you to understand what this means for you. Despite our precautions, you have been exposed to HIV and you need to immediately get tested. My viral load is undetectable and therefore it is very very unlikely for you to have contracted HIV but you must get tested and followed up as soon as possible Bruce."

Bruce took a drink of water. "I might have HIV?" he said disbelievingly.

"It's a remote possibility but yes"

"How could you do this to me?"

Robin did a double take. "Do this to you? I didn't do anything to you."

"You may have passed your disease to me – how could you?"

"Wait, wait wait – you were hot to trot to get into my pants. You have known for years that I am HIV+ and we discussed protection. I did nothing to you." Robin had anticipated his reaction to be something along these lines but that did nothing to soften the blow.

"You misled me – you told me that you were healthy."

"I am healthy but I also have HIV and that is why we took the precautions we did but nothing, NOTHING is foolproof. You accepted that risk when you decided to sleep with me."

Bruce leaned back in his chair. "Is this a joke?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding? Is there any part of this you think I would do if I didn't have to?"

"I don't know Robin – maybe you're looking for payback – maybe you're jealous of Jenna and you want me back."

"Who the hell is Jenna?" she said crossing her arms in front of her.

"My girlfriend."

Robin rolled her eyes. "Like I care who you date."

"I'm just saying – maybe it's lonely in your bed."

"No actually my bed is getting quite a workout these days thanks to the MAN I'm dating."

"You've put me at risk Robin" he said simply. "How many other people have you possibly infected?"

Robin willed herself not to flinch. It was only with Patrick that she had finally given herself over to truly enjoying sex, being in the moment, but there was a constant little voice in the back of her mind, reminding her of the risk. Transmitting HIV to another person was her greatest fear.

"None you jackass. The condom broke – happens every day and for the last time – I didn't put you at risk – I didn't pursue you and I didn't seduce you – and it's low, even for you, to suggest that I did."

"Fine. What are you doing about the kid? Are you planning to go to the media with this?"

Robin glared at him. "No thanks – I've had all the media attention I could possibly have ever wanted."

"I can pay for an abortion if you want."

Robin swallowed her rage. "I don't want or need your money. I'm having the baby and I neither want nor expect anything from you."

"You're having the baby?" he said incredulously. "Jesus Robin, when did you become so irresponsible? I don't want children – never have – don't think you're pawning that off on me when you die."

Robin closed her eyes. It felt like a body blow. "When did you become this guy?" she asked quietly.

"What guy?"

"This soulless, walk over your dead mother guy? When did you stop being human?"

"I won't apologize for my ambition Robin."

"It's not your ambition that's the problem Bruce – it's your humanity." She stood up. "So that I've understood you – you want nothing to do with the child I'm carrying?"

"Nope – you're on your own."

"Suits me fine – go get tested or don't – I actually don't care. My responsibility was to tell you and I've done so. Thanks for making this as unpleasant as possible." She stormed out of the hotel suite and ran to the elevators.

"Krista" Bruce called to his press secretary. "We need to poll on some new information – and I need a doctor's appointment."

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Robin made it to the taxi before bursting into tears. It was hard to tell where the hormones stopped and her own feelings began. She was going to be a single mother. The realization hit her like a ton of bricks. She was going to be a mother. Her hand went to her belly protectively. In a normal situation you wouldn't have to protect a child from its father but very little in Robins' life had ever been normal.

Arriving at the airport, she was bumped up to business class and given a note.

_Hey Sis –_

Can't wait to see you. You are either coming to celebrate or commiserate – either way the champagne in business class will help the flight go by.

See you soon

B.

Robin smiled and folding the note, tucked it into her pocket. Typical Brenda, everything needed to be done in style. She was glad to have her in her corner. She had a feeling she was going to need as many people in her corner as possible.

As she boarded the plane, her thoughts turned to Patrick and the flight to Greece. After the humiliation at the security gate, he had bestowed an enormous kindness on her – he had held her hand. Sometimes it was the simplest things that were the most reassuring. She wished he was with her to hold her hand now but once he knew the truth, there would be no more hand holding.

Brenda had arranged for a car and driver to meet Robin at the airport. Expertly navigating the Roman traffic, he had Robin at Brenda's apartment in less than an hour. He carried her bags inside as Brenda came squealing down the stairs.

"Eeee! Oh my god – you're here!!" she said, grabbing hold of Robin. It was too much for Robin. The fear, the anxiety, the rage, the disappointment and the excitement all erupted in her at once and she burst into tears. "Ohmygod Ohmygod Ohmygod – what's wrong – are you hurt? Did something happen – did Patrick do something – Robin why are you crying?"

Robin started to laugh through her tears. "If you shut up for 30 seconds I could tell you."

"Okay this is me shutting up but you can't just start crying and not expect me to freak out so really, I'm allowed to freak out a little and pepper you with questions. Okay, shutting up now……what's wrong?"

Robin looked at her best friend's expectant and worried face. "I'm pregnant"

"Pardon?"

"Pregnant – me – pregnant"

"You didn't drink the champagne on the flight did you?" she asked with sudden concern.

Robin shook her head. "No, I managed to stay away from that."

"You don't look happy."

Robin wiped at her tears. "I'm not sure it's good news."

Brenda took her by the hand. "Of course it's good news – you're going to be a mom. Now, we're going to go inside and have some juice and some fruit – cause fruit is good for babies, right?"

"Yes, Bren, fruit is good for babies."

They walked up the steps to her apartment. "Oh my god" Brenda exclaimed.

"What?" Robin asked looking around.

"Your boobs are going to get HUGE!"

"I'm so glad we're focusing on the important stuff" Robin teased.

"No but think of the dresses!!"

"I know it's hard to believe – but fashion is not my number one concern right now" Robin said slowly.

Brenda plugged her ears. "lalalalalalalalalala – can't hear you."

Fussing over her, Brenda got Robin settled on the couch, insisting she put her legs up. She brought out a fruit tray and filled champagne flutes with juice.

"Tell me everything and start at the beginning." Brenda said, tucking her legs under her.

And so Robin told her everything - much she already knew – the break up with Bruce – the reunion with Patrick – the six home pregnancy tests and finally her conversation with Bruce.

"You're really going to keep it?"

"Do you think I shouldn't?" Robin asked wearily.

"I totally think you should keep it – I get to be an auntie! But more important than that Robs – you are going to be an awesome mother and why shouldn't you have a baby."

"I'm scared" she said quietly.

"Of what?"

"Everything" the tears started to flow again. "I may have to change my protocol for the first trimester, I don't know the first thing about being a mom – and doing this alone – Bren – not ideal."

Brenda studied her. "Nope, not ideal but who the heck gets ideal anyways? You'll have a specialist taking care of you?" Robin nodded. "That's all that matters – the rest we'll figure out."

"We?"

"Sure I can co-parent."

Robin laughed. "You understand co-parenting involves more than sending Versace baby wear?"

"Really?" Okay well I'll be the fashion co-parent. Georgie or Maxie can be the diaper changing co-parent."

"Sounds good"

"There is one thing you haven't told me"

"What's that?"

"How did Doc Hottie take the news?"

"He doesn't know."

"He doesn't know?"

"I'm having a hard time finding the right lead into to 'hey, you're really important to me but by the way I'm having someone else's baby' conversation."

"You mean Hallmark doesn't make a card for that?"

"I'm afraid to say goodbye."

"Who says you have to?"

"Brenda, who in the right mind would stick around a woman carrying a child that's not his?"

"Well…"

"Okay, other than Jason? And thanks for bringing that little nugget back to me."

"Maybe he loves you Robin – maybe he loves you enough to be with you regardless. And you said that asswipe doesn't want anything to do with baby Devane/Scorpio so maybe he does."

"I can't ask him for that."

"Why not? Robin, you ask so little of the people in your life. Before you write him off, why don't you give him a chance to surprise you? You never know."

Robin shook her head. "Nope – this is a guy who can barely say commitment without breaking into hives. He's unsure about having kids. Asking him to stay – in this situation – would be intolerably cruel and ultimately end in heartbreak for both of us. I can't do that to him."

"I hate it when you get all martyr like"

"Brenda! It's not a martyr thing – it's a ….it's a…"

"If you can't name it, it doesn't exist"

"Ha! Ha! Look Patrick and I will always be friends, I guess, but we're over as soon as I tell him this. Not to mention, I can't imagine having sex again."

Brenda choked on her drink. "Why is he bad at it?"

Robin laughed. "No, in fact he's quite good at it."

"That's a relief – cause if he is bad at it – there's a great toy store we need to visit!"

"Brenda" Robin said, her voice turning serious again. "I'm a shredded at the prospect of potentially infecting Bruce – and I hate him – if I ever thought that I might infect Patrick" Robin inhaled. "It might kill me."

"Oh baby" Brenda said, bounding from her chair to the couch and wrapping Robin in her arms. "Don't worry – we'll find a way through this. You're not alone – as long as I'm around, you will never be alone."

Brenda showed Robin to her room, where she crashed immediately. Brenda promised to wake her at dinner time and they would go exploring a few piazzas for a place to eat.

xoxoxoxoxo

Robin's alarm went off and she grudgingly got up. She brushed her teeth and washed her face before pulling on a light blue sundress. She applied some lip gloss and walked out of the bedroom into the sitting room.

Robin stopped in her tracks, blinking disbelievingly at the sight before. Sitting on the couch across from Brenda was Patrick. They both looked up when they saw her come in the room.

Patrick gave her a half grin. "Did you really think you were going to do this without me?"


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42

Robin looked at Patrick, stunned. She shot a look at Brenda who shook her head. "Don't look at me – I opened my door and found him on the other side – by the way he has an awesome butt Robin."

Patrick looked at Brenda quizzically before looking back to Robin. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

"What are you doing here?" she asked evenly, hoping her voice didn't betray her nervousness.

"Coming after you."

"Why? I said Brenda needed my help – you can't be of assistance here."

Brenda carefully watched the interaction between the two young doctors. She was innately suspicious of Patrick due to the number of stories Robin had shared with her, however, the fact that he had showed up on her doorstep because he "needed to see Robin" was making her soften towards him.

"Look, I have to return some phone calls and stuff, so I'll leave you guys alone. But not so alone that I won't hear her if she cries" she said to Patrick "and if she cries, well then, you and I are going to have a problem."

Patrick smiled as Brenda left the room. "You know, I've never met someone who has so many people willing to perform acts of bodily harm in their name."

Robin stood rooted in spot, staring at him. "How come…why…how come you're here?"

"Are you okay? Because you look a little freaked right now."

"I just don't understand why you're here."

"So you keep saying" he said simply, wary of the fact that he was unable to rouse a smile from her. He stood up from the couch and walked towards her. Taking her hand, he led her back to Brenda's overstuffed white couch. "So there's a downside to keying someone."

"What's that?"

"Well the person who is keyed – the key-ee if you will can sometimes be hanging out unsupervised at the key-er's house and could happen to stumble upon something in the garbage that peaks their curiosity."

"You went through my trash?"

"No. I was taking out your trash and a box fell out" Robin felt all the colour drain from her face. "A pregnancy test box." She closed her eyes briefly. "I mean, I thought something was a little off when I got home – your sudden trip to Rome, turning me down for sex, your fatigue and then when I saw the box it all clicked. Are you pregnant?"

Robin knew then that their relationship would forever be divided into two time periods.

There would be the time before she answered the question – a time marked by it just being the two of them, figuring each other out, their wants and needs – a time of pursuit and banter and play. Then there would be the time after she answered the question – it would be a loss of innocence at best and the end of everything at worst. Opening her mouth and answering the question would forever change their relationship. She looked at Patrick trying to memorize him – the softness in his eyes, the fullness of his lips, the openness of his face. He was never going to look like this again.

"Yes"

Patrick reached to pull her into his arms but she resisted. "Robin? Is something wrong? Is there something wrong with the baby?" She nodded slowly. "What? What's wrong?"

Robin cursed silently as her eyes welled. "It's not yours."

Patrick's mouth dropped open. "It's not…what?" He was sure he had heard incorrectly.

"I'm so sorry Patrick – more than you can ever know."

"Who? Who…Who's the father?"

Robin furiously wiped at her tears. "Bruce" she choked on his name.

Patrick felt the air leave his body. He had been in a state of shock when he had found the box and when he could finally process thoughts again realized the reason for Robin's sudden trip to Italy. He had initially been irritated when it dawned that she had taken off without telling him but this was Robin and there was no rushing her – ever. As the anger quickly faded it was replaced by excitement. He was going to be a father. He had been so unsure before and if anyone had asked him outright about having children, his answer would have been a resounding no. But there was something about the idea of having a child with Robin that just felt right. As the excitement gripped him he needed to see her, wanted to hold her, to ease any of her fears or concerns that she might have been fostering. But not for one second had he even considered that he wasn't the father.

"Bruce?" he stammered. "Are you quite sure?"

Robin sniffled. "I am. I'm so sorry."

Patrick was stunned and unsure what to do next. He felt foolish for having jumped on the first available flight to Rome. His grand romantic gesture turned out to be in vain.

"Are you..is your health okay?"

The tears began to stream down Robin's face. "Do you have any idea what I would give for this to be your child."

He licked his lips and stood up. "I have some idea." Walking over to the fireplace, he leaned against the mantle, facing Robin, unable to speak.

"I am so sorry" she repeated.

"Stop saying that" he said in frustration "You didn't plan this. Does he know?"

She nodded. She wanted to reach out to him, touch him but the distance between them seemed to be growing by the second. "I told him before coming here. He needs to get tested."

He nodded solemnly. "How did he take it?"

Patrick felt numb. It was like not knowing you wanted something until it was right in front of you and then having it snatched away.

"Not well. He offered to pay for an abortion."

Patrick licked his lips. "Is that…are you…" he stammered.

"I want to keep it. I may never have another opportunity to have a child."

Swallowing thickly, he nodded. "I ah, um, I need to get some air" he paused, staring at her. "I'll call you" he said before heading to the front door.

He gasped for air when he finally got outside. He had gained and lost a baby in the space of one day.

_It's not yours_

The words sliced him and his eyes began to fill with tears. On the flight over to Rome, as he tried to wrap his head around the news he started to think of the synchronicity of events. Though not one prone to examining the universal meaning of things, there was a certain poetry to him becoming a father on the heels of Andrew's death – circle of life. The only problem was, he was not going to be a father. It was someone else's child. He felt inexplicably angry with Robin. He knew it was irrational that Robin didn't set out to become pregnant and certainly not by Bruce but regardless, he felt completely let down.

He walked, numbly, to the main road and hailed a taxi. He had no idea what he was going to do beyond getting back to his hotel, he just knew that he had to get away from her as fast as possible.

xoxoxoxo

Robin watched him leave, powerless to stop him. She waited until she heard to the door click before folding in half, crying. She had always read that pregnancy was a happy time for women but so far it had only been heartbreak for her. Though she never could have done it, she finally understood why people lied about the paternity of a child. If she had been capable of such a lie, she would be safely ensconced in Patrick's arms, imbued with his love but instead she was honest and ultimately alone.

She was so lost in thought that she didn't even hear Brenda behind her until she took her in her arms. "It's okay Rob" she whispered. Robin sobbed against her friend's shoulder.

"You should have seen his face" Robin choked, trying to speak.

Brenda stroked her hair. "I'm sure it was hard for him."

"I've never hurt anyone like that before." Brenda said nothing, just held her.

Cried out, Robin sat up. "I don't think I'm up for dinner tonight."

"That's fine - we don't have to do anything. In fact we can just stay here and do nothing."

"I think I'm going to go back to bed. These stupid hormones are beating the stuffing out of me."

Brenda hugged her and kissed her cheek. "Okay. But before you go to sleep you need to know that I love you Robin – I love you and I love baby Devane/Scorpio."

Robin smiled weakly. "Thanks. I love you too."

Brenda watched as Robin walked back to the bedroom. She waited until she heard her settle in before grabbing her purse and heading out the door.

xoxoxoxoxo

Bleary-eyed, Patrick opened the door and was shocked to see Brenda on the other side. "Brenda, now really isn't a good time."

Pushing her way past him, she walked to the middle of his room. "Nice room by the way"

"Thanks" he said as he closed the door behind him.

Brenda's eyes stopped on his suitcase. It was clear that he was packing to return home.

"I know you just got kicked in the teeth and had your heart handed back to you and I'm sorry for that but you and I need to talk."


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43

Patrick sighed. "You know what Brenda – I am ridiculously jet lagged among other things and I'm not really up for a best friend lecture so if perhaps you could just write it all on a postcard and mail it to me, that would be super."

"Is that snark? Are you trying to get snarky with me?"

"If I say yes, will you leave?"

Brenda flopped on to his bed, crossing her legs. "So that was some sucky news you got back there."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Of course not, why talk about it when you can pack your bag and run away"

"Going home is hardly running away. Have you always been this pushy?"

"Yes and it is running away if the woman you love is still here."

"I never said anything…"

"Oh shut it- you love her. Why else would you jump on a plane at the first possible opportunity to get to her? You needed her to tell you how to stop the VCR from blinking 12:00?"

He glared at her as he continued to pack. He found himself wondering how such a nice, normal person like Robin could wind up with a nut case as a best friend.

"Do you have a point Brenda or are you just going to keep talking until my head explodes?"

"Well you're a neurosurgeon you should know that your head can't actually explode."

"Your point?"

"You're in pain."

"And yet you keep talking" he muttered.

"And Robin is in pain – lots of it. Why should you both be in pain alone?"

"She's having another man's baby."

"So what? He doesn't want anything to do with her or the baby. I don't have the stomach to repeat the hateful things he said to her…."

"What did he say to her?" his voice flashing with anger.

Brenda sighed, there might actually be hope for him yet. "Really mean things. Patrick I have known Robin for a long time. I knew her before she had HIV- I helped her get ready for her first date with Stone. I was there for all of it – the moment they fell in love, the first kiss, his diagnosis, hers and his death. And not once, not ever during any of that have I ever seen Robin feel ashamed. And that is what I saw today – that's what this asshole did to her – he made her feel ashamed. I am THIS close to calling Sonny Corinthos and having him take care of this guy once and for all." She saw his cheek start to twitch.

"Ashamed?" he echoed through gritted teeth.

Brenda nodded. "Like she's done something wrong. She's done nothing wrong – she was in a relationship with a man who she thought cared for her. And I'm going to resist from pointing out here that she was only in that relationship because you didn't want one."

"Gee thanks – feeling so much better than you didn't point that out."

"Look, I can't even pretend to know how you feel. I do think it's pretty amazing that when you thought she was pregnant with your child you wasted no time in coming to find her. That tells me lots about who you are. There is one thing that has changed since you got here but there are a few things that haven't" Patrick arched his eyebrow. "She's pregnant and you love her. Maybe you can find your way past the DNA." She stood up and closed the distance between them. "But here's the thing – if you can't, leave now and leave her alone from here on in – don't jerk her around because it will be too much for her. If you can get past it then don't waste another minute in this stupid hotel."

Brenda marched to the door and let herself out. Patrick sank to the bed and flopped back on it. He pulled a pillow over his face and screamed into it.

He stood up and began to pace. For a brief moment he forgot all about his disappointment and could only think of what her encounter with Bruce must have been like. In typical Robin fashion, she had underplayed it to him and he should have twigged on the spot that it had likely been an ugly meeting but he had been too absorbed in his own grief. He felt dizzy and overwhelmed.

Picking his cell phone off the bed, he punched the key pad.

"Did I wake you?"

"No – is something wrong?"

"Nat, that could quite possibly be the understatement of the year."

"Tell me"

Patrick told her everything – how excited he had been, how devastated he was, how much he wanted to kill Bruce and the mind-numbing conversation with Brenda.

"That really bites P – I'm sorry"

"Yeah – me too. I think it's best that I just leave it be"

"Best for whom? You love her and therefore will be miserable without her – she loves you and is miserable for a whole bunch of reasons so I'm not really seeing who wins by you leaving."

"You're using that lawyer logic again"

"Can't help it – you bring it out in me. Her friend Brenda is right – DNA establishes paternity but doesn't make someone a father. IF you love her and IF she loves you then genetics don't matter."

"But Nat"

"But Patrick nothing – I can imagine how disappointed you are but she didn't cheat on you, she did nothing wrong. If you want to walk away because you can't deal with it or because you're too angry that you're not the father then fine do that but don't try and dress it up as some kind of benevolent gesture. That dog will not hunt."

Patrick paused and looked at his phone. "Been watching Dr. Phil again?"

"It's an addiction, I'm seeking help."

"I really love her" he said quietly.

"I know you do P – but does she? Listen, when I was pregnant with Gracie, I was shit scared for the first few months and I had a husband who loved me and family and friends who were thrilled. I cannot begin to imagine the heartache that Robin is feeling right now. If you have it have in you, now would be a really, really good time for you to step up to the plate. If you don't, that's fine too but then you have to cut all ties with her."

"Thank Nat"

"Anytime – I'm glad you called."

Patrick hung up and flopped back on the bed.

xoxoxoxoxo

Robin stood out on the Brenda's balcony. Sleep had been an impossibility. She was haunted by the look on Patrick's face. The thought of packing in her job and moving here to Rome was suddenly very appealing. Telling Patrick and Bruce had only been the beginning of several difficult conversations. Not everyone in her life was going to be pleased that she was pregnant nor were they going to be very happy when they discovered who the father was. She thought about announcing it was a sperm donor but knew that would never work. Besides, there could come a day when her child would want to know their father and she wouldn't be able to lie.

Once again her hand went to her stomach. Her child. The words sounded foreign but right all at once.

"You'll never get over your jet lag sitting out here"

Robin spun around, her eyes going wide even in the dark. "What are you doing here?"

"You know, it would be nice, just once, if you said 'hello' as opposed to what am I doing here?" Patrick said smiling.

"I didn't expect to see you again."

"I'm a little surprised I'm here too" he said tentatively moving onto the balcony.

"What do you want?" she asked, looking back over the balcony.

"To talk" he said simply, leaning against the railing.

"I'm not sure we have anything to talk about."

"Sure we do – what about us?"

"What about us Patrick? I'm having someone else's baby." Robin's nature when feeling let down was to lash out.

"I'm well aware of that Robin but that doesn't change us"

"Did you get knocked on the head coming here? Of course it changes us – it changes everything - you can't possibly want to stay together"

"What if I do?" he asked jamming his hands into his pockets.

She shook her head. "You say that now but there will come a time when my belly gets big and the baby starts moving and you will be reminded that you're not the father and you will want to run."

"I'm standing right here aren't I?"

"For now – for now. But it won't work."

Patrick felt his own anger beginning to rise. "Would it kill you to have a little faith in me?"

"Why should I? Patrick you've never said that you wanted children. And I'm going to have one and it's not yours."

"Stop FUCKING saying that!!" he yelled.

"Me not saying it won't change it!" she yelled back.

They stared at each other.

"What if I don't care that I'm not the father?"

"How can you say that? I saw your face – I know you care that you're not the father."

"I'll admit that I was…I am disappointed. Frankly I didn't think the spawn of satan could procreate but hey, you learn something new every day." He tilted her chin up to face him. "Robin I never thought I wanted children but I want you and if you and the baby are a package deal then fine."

"What are you saying?" she asked suspiciously.

Patrick ran his hands through his hair and sighed in frustration. "Are you really this dense?"

"Oh great - call me names"

"Christ Robin – you MAKE me INSANE!! You make me want to poke my eyes out and pull my hair out strand by strand but dammit I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU!" he yelled.

"YEAH WELL, I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU TOO!" she yelled back.

"GREAT!"

"FINE!"

Silence suddenly filled the balcony as they stared at each other.


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 43

a/n: there's some smut in this chapter – don't read it if you shouldn't. and hang tight – things have a way of working out in my stories.

Chapter 44

"You know, somehow it's fitting that the first time I ever tell someone I love them that I'm yelling at the top of my lungs." Patrick said, leaning back against the railing.

"Jerk" Robin said softly.

"Being new at this, I'm not sure what comes next but I feel like there should be kissing."

Robin grinned. "There should be but don't you think we should talk more first?"

He shook his head walking towards her. "Kiss now, talk later." He cupped her face and gazed into her eyes, he stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. "I love you Robin" he whispered before opening his mouth over hers.

Robin arched up to meet his lips. He gently coaxed his tongue inside her mouth, tasting her as if for the first time. Robin pulled away to catch her breath and grabbed hold of him.

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly.

"You just made my legs go to jelly."

Patrick pressed his lips against her forehead. "You do that to me all the time." Taking her hand, they walked over to the bench and sat down. Patrick turned to face her, tucking hair behind her ear. "So" he started.

"So" she echoed. "Do you have any idea what you're in for?"

"What do you mean? Do you have a bunch of bad habits you've been keeping secret all this time?"

Robin laughed. "No. I mean with me and the baby."

"I imagine there's diapers and feedings involved?"

She slapped his arm. "That's not what I mean. Patrick – you're offering to take on a pregnant woman…."

"No – I'm not taking on anything. I'm in love with you Robin – I'm not sure you fully grasp how major that is for me – I'm in love with you and living without you or walking away is not an option. So we didn't make the baby, that doesn't mean I can't love it."

Robin began to cry and he pulled her into his arms. "It's the hormones" she said through the tears.

"Really? It's the hormones? Are you sure it isn't the stress, the jet lag and your conversation with Bruce?" Robin looked up at him. "Yes, I had a visit from Brenda and it was pleasant – in that way that root canal without anesthetic can be pleasant."

Robin laughed. "Did she bully you to come back here?"

He shook his head. "I didn't need to be convinced to come back for you Robin. I just need to figure out what I was going to do." He ran his fingers along the back of her neck. "What did Bruce say to you?"

"I won't repeat it – it's not worth it. Suffice to say, I'm a single mom to be"

He bent his head and nuzzled her neck. "No you're not – you have me."

Robin ran her hand along his thigh. "What do we tell people?"

"We could just tell them it's mine" he offered.

Pulling away she looked straight at him. "No – as much as I wish it were true – lies like that have a way of coming back to explode in your face."

He looked at her curiously. There was so much he still didn't know about her and he remained intrigued. "Okay, then we tell people you're having a baby."

"D'uh. What do we tell them about you?"

"That I'm devilishly handsome, fantastic in bed and killer in the OR" he teased, flashing his dimple at her.

"You're impossible – you know that right?"

"I'm actually very possible – for the right woman of course."

Robin's face fell. "Are you sure? I won't hold you to this – this is grossly unfair for you."

"I thought you had to be smart to go to the Sorbonne." Robin made a face. "Because this is the last time I'm going to say this. I. Want. To. Be. With. You. and if you happen to come with a baby then I want to be with both of you. Robin, I tried to be without you and I was miserable – there is no way this will be harder than that was."

"I wish I had your faith" she said quietly, intertwining her fingers with his.

He cleared his throat lightly. "You were going to tell me, right?"

"Yes" she said, her eyes welling yet again. "I just needed a chance to figure it all out. I should have told you, I nearly told you before I left but my courage failed me."

"Are you scared?" She nodded and buried her head in his shoulder. He stroked the back of her head. "How about your protocol?"

Robin wiped at her eyes. "Kelly's calling in a specialist. There's a chance I'll need to change it for the rest of the first trimester but I won't know until I go back. There's still a chance I could pass it on you know."

"There's an equal chance that the baby could suffer a birth defect. All you or any pregnant woman can do is follow the advice of your doctors."

Robin looked at him curiously.

"Okay" he admitted "it's entirely possible I may have looked a few things up on the internet before I left."

"I'm very lucky to have you" she stroked his face.

He took hold of her hand. "It was no accident that you barged into my OR all those months ago."

"Patrick?" she asked.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"You know…" he started.

"Oh god" she groaned.

"What?"

"Not a single good thing has EVER come from you starting a sentence with 'you know'."

"I resent that" he said pretending to be insulted. "As a matter of fact I have a very good thing that could come of it but you apparently aren't interested in hearing it, so never mind."

"And the pouting begins" she teased. He growled at her. "Fine, tell me what you were going to say"

"Nope"

"I'm pregnant you have to tell me."

"Is that a line I can expect to hear a lot over the next nine months."

"You better believe it baby. Now spill."

"Fine" he said, sighing exaggeratedly "What I was TRYING to say was that technically we were kind of broken up for a few hours."

"And?"

"You owe me make up sex"

Robin giggled. "I owe you make up sex?"

"Yes – lots and lots of make up sex."

"I don't know…..I'm kind of going off you" she teased.

"No sweetie – the term is getting off and we're going to" he purred as he leaned in and captured her lips.

Robin swept her tongue into his mouth and moaned as he met hers, massaging it. Reluctantly letting go of her lips, he stood up and scooped her up, carrying her into the bedroom.

He laid her gently on the bed and Robin scooted up to the pillows. She began to lift her tank top until Patrick stopped her.

"Don't" he asked huskily.

Kicking off his shoes, he crawled on the bed towards her, trailing his fingers up her body as he got closer to her face. Running his tongue along her bottom lip, it darted in and out of her mouth causing Robin to moan in frustration. Using both his hands, he slipped her straps from her shoulders, leaving a kiss on each one. He circled his hands over her breasts, gently kneading them through the material. Her nipples hardened under his touch. Patrick assaulted her neck with his lips, tipping her head back and kissing the front of her throat.

She pushed her hips against his, slowly grinding them. His arousal pushed back against her and Robin shoved her hands in his back pockets, taking hold of his behind. Pushing down on him, she pushed him further into her. "Oh Jesus" Patrick hissed as he felt her hips gently thrusting against his. Reaching for the hem of her tank top, he pulled it over her head. Robin raised her arms to make it easier for him to take off. "Leave your arms there" he asked.

He kissed her navel and slowly dragged his tongue up and ran it over her breast. Robin began to pant as he flicked her nipple with his tongue before taking it in his mouth and sucking voraciously on it. Robin lowered her arms, letting her hands fist his hair as he moved to her other breast. He lightly traced his fingers down her sides sending shivers through her body. Slipping a hand past her pajama pants, he stopped as he brushed over her centre.

"You are so wet" he groaned.

"Thinking about you makes me wet" she said.

Patrick shifted. Taking Robin's hand, he put it against the erection straining against his pants. Robin quickly unzipped his pants and slid her hand inside, taking hold of him.

"No boxers?" she commented.

"I was in a rush" he panted, throwing his head back as her touch made him quiver.

Patrick sat up and pulled his t-shirt off. He slowly took Robin's hand away from him and pulled her pajama pants from her. She lay naked and outstretched before him. Kneeling up, he looked her over appreciatively, licking his lips. He reached for his wallet and tossed it on the nightstand before standing up to take off his pants.

Lying back down beside her, he turned her onto her side, her back to him. Pushing her hair out of the way, he nuzzled her neck before moving to her earlobe, taking it between his lips he smiled as Robin let out a small whimper. Moving her top leg forward, he slipped his hand between her legs, cupping her. Robin pressed into his hand. He slipped a finger inside her and smiled into her neck at the sharp intake of breath.

You're so sexy Robin" he whispered against her ear.

Slipping a second finger inside, Robin let out a small cry. Finding his rhythm he worked his hand in small circles bringing Robin to the brink. His free hand moved to her breasts, gently tugging on the nipples.

Robin found it hard to concentrate on anything; her body was twitching and trembling under his expert touch. He slowly removed his hand, Robin whined at the sudden loss of contact. Turning to face him, she tugged on his lip before devouring his neck. Running her hands over his chest, she brushed his nipples with her thumbs, kissing him in the centre of his chest. She pushed him onto his back and climbed on top of him. Taking hold of his arms, she pushed them up as she kissed her way down his body. She nipped at his skin, leaving little bite marks. Letting go of his arms, she turned her attention to his jutting erection. Wrapping both hands around it, she languidly ran her hands up and down the length.

"Fuck Robin" he said through gritted teeth.

"Soon" she teased.

His hands flew to her hair, getting lost in the silky strands. Unable to take anymore, he reached for his wallet as she continued to stroke him. He pressed the packet into her hand.

"Now would be a good time" he panted.

Robin smiled evilly as she tore open the packet. Placing the tip of the condom in her mouth, she lowered her head and using her tongue, rolled it over him. Patrick gasped, throwing his head back.

Robin made a move to straddle him but he grabbed hold of her and pushed her back onto her side. Taking hold of her top leg, he pulled it over his hip as he entered her. He looked into her eyes as he began to thrust. Robin responded and met him movement for movement. His breathing became more ragged and Robin knew that he was close. She began to coil and tighten at the same time. "Patrick" she cried out as her climax began. His own body began to spasm and shake. Their eyes locked on each other as they were awash in pleasure.  
Neither wanted to let go of the other as their breathing returned to normal. Robin lightly traced her fingers over his face.

"I'm so glad you're here" she whispered.

Patrick placed his hand over her stomach. "I love you Robin."


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45

Patrick watched as she slept. He never knew it was possible to feel about someone the way he felt about Robin. His parents had had a magical marriage and their love was always palpable but he had come to believe that it would never happen for him – that he didn't want it to happen for him. Now that it had, he couldn't imagine feeling any other way.

He thought back to the night he had ended things with her. He had been terrified of the power she had over him, that she was making him weak because he needed her but now he knew the truth. Loving her made him stronger and what he was most terrified of that night was that she would leave him. For him it always came back to being alone. The physical death of his mother and the emotional death of his father made him believe that he was destined to be alone. As he came of age he took control of the situation, setting the ground rules for the people in his life. Everyone was welcome to visit but no one was allowed to stay. He didn't want attachments because they only lead to disappointment. There had only been two people in his life who wouldn't abide by his rules – Drew was the first and then there was Robin.

He pushed her hair from her face. She had seen through him almost immediately and stuck around anyways. That had impressed him as much as anything. It became clear to him that they were more alike than either was willing to admit. They fought with each other because both believed they were right and in large part because they liked to fight with each other. But he also understood now that Robin too was afraid of being left. His fist clinched involuntarily as he imagined some of the rejection she had already face in her life. He knew better than to assume that Bruce was the first to treat her poorly because of HIV. He smiled as he watched her – for the first time he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was where he should be.

"Are you staring at me?" she asked sleepily.

"Maybe"

"Stop it."

"Did you know your boobs are going to get huge as you get bigger?" he asked happily.

Robin groaned and opened her eyes. "Have you been talking to Brenda? And what's wrong with the size of my boobs? You seemed to be enjoying them quite a bit last night"

Patrick pushed the blankets down and closed his mouth over her nipple causing her to moan. "Nothing is wrong with their size – they're perfect" he said as he released her from his mouth. "There is just going to be so much more of them for me to enjoy. So yay me!"

"I'm not sure you're still going to feel that way when I get so large they only thing I can wear is muumuu"

"Muumuus are great – easy access for me"

"Is sex all you think about it?"

"No" he shook his head "A lot of the time I think about sex with you"

Robin smacked him on the chest. "Okay, it's morning – you're allowed to change.."

He pinched her lips together with his thumb and forefinger. "Unless you're about to tell me that I'm allowed to change my hair colour – I don't want to hear it. This" he pointed between the two of them "is exactly what I want."

"Okay" she mumbled through pinched lips.

"Good girl" he said letting go of her lips. "So I guess we should get up."

"Probably a good idea" Robin pushed the covers back and sat up, instantly regretting her sudden movement. "Ooohhh" she said, leaning back against the pillow.

"Nausea?" She nodded her head. "Can I do anything?"

"Make it stop?" she asked. He smiled. Taking her hand, he massaged the palm until the colour returned to her cheeks. "Okay – getting up, take 2" Robin sat up slowly and Patrick waited to get off the bed until she was fully upright.

"Okay?"

"All good. Now I'm starving!"

"When are you not starving? I'm thinking a fully body scan may be necessary when we get home, I have the impression you might actually have hollow legs."

"Don't be jealous of my appetite – just because you eat about as much as a supermodel."

"Just keeping myself in fighting shape for you sweetpea"

Robin rolled her eyes as she pulled on her pajama pants and tank top. "You didn't bring a change of clothes did you?"

"I thought it might be a little presumptuous of me to bring my suitcase"

Robin handed him his jeans from the floor and kissed him on the lips. "You're slipping. The Doctor Drake I met on the OR table would never have worried about being presumptuous."

Patrick kissed her back. "The Doctor Drake you met on the OR table also would never have admitted to being in love – so you need to start making some compromises Scorpio"

"Okay – I'll take the in love Doctor Drake – but don't make cocky Doctor Drake go too far away – I'm kind of fond of him."

"You are unbelievable!" he exclaimed, pulling on his jeans.

"How so?"

"For MONTHS you give me the gears, telling me how terrible my ego is and I finally put it away a little bit and NOW you tell me you liked it?"

"Okay for starters, I said fond of – not like – and your ego is attractive when you're not using it as a weapon."

"A weapon?" he asked incredulously.

"Yup- now get your shirt on, I'm hungry"

"You know" he purred. "Normally you're telling me to take my clothes off when you're hungry"

"Perv – get dressed"

Robin smiled as she opened the door from her bedroom. Patrick pulled on his shirt and then took her hand as they walked to the dining room.

Brenda looked up from her newspaper.

"Well, good morning" she beamed.

"Hey Bren"

"Patrick – nice to see you"

"You too Brenda" as he sat down.

Brenda poured Patrick a coffee. "Where's mine?" Robin asked.

"You mamacita get decaf"

Patrick and Brenda both laughed as Robin began to pout. "Decaf?" she whined "How am I supposed to function?"

"It will only take a couple of days to break the caffeine addiction" Patrick said simply.

Robin smacked his arm. "Easy for you to say, you still have coffee." She looked at Patrick as a grin spread over her face. "You know, if you really cared, you would give up coffee too"

Patrick narrowed his eyes. "I don't actually care that much"

Brenda passed around a tray of pastries. "By the way, Pope Benedict called and said it warmed his heart to hear two people proclaim their love so loudly last night but he's fairly certain that what followed after the I love you bits is supposed to wait until marriage."

Robin blushed furiously as Patrick laughed.

"God Robin, I had no idea you were so vocal"

The crimson in her cheeks deepened. "Shut up Brenda"

"Why? You couldn't"

Robin buried her face in her hands. "I hate you." Patrick continued to laugh "Why aren't you embarrassed?" she asked him.

"What's to be embarrassed about? I told you and apparently half of Rome that I'm in love with you. And then you let half of Rome, including Brenda, know how much you love me."

Robin blushed to the roots of her hair. "I'm going to take a shower" she grumbled getting up from the table.

"So, Patrick" Brenda began.

"I get it Brenda – if I hurt her you'll drive your four inch Jimmy Choos through my heart."

She gave him a small smile. "Well that's implied but actually I was going to commend you on coming back her last night. Not a lot of guys would have done that."

Patrick turned to watch Robin disappear into the bedroom. "Then they've never been in love with Robin."

"Wow – did that just pop into your head or have you used that line before?"

Patrick angrily turned to face Brenda. "Look, you're her best friend and you want to protect her but you should know that I have never and I really do mean never been in love before so when I say I love her, I mean it."

Brenda studied his face. "Sorry, I didn't mean to insult you. It's just …I'm worried for her – I'm always worried for her."

Patrick's face softened. "About what?"

"About her having to pick up the pieces again. A person can only do that so many times – I should know. I worry that each time her heart gets broken or her trust violated that she just might not come back from it. You know her and I are completely different"

"I had noticed" he said somewhat sarcastically. Brenda glared at him. "Sorry, continue – how so?"

"My moods, my feelings – everything is always on the surface with me. You can tell how I feel about something just by looking at me but Robin's not like that. You can never really know how much something has hurt her because she just swallows it down and carries on. When I found out that she had HIV – Stone was dying and so we were all feeling pretty raw to begin with – but when I found out, I cried, I screamed, I hit things. I felt like my insides had been pulled out through my throat. But not Robin, she cried – a little – thought about not telling Stone and then did what she has done her whole life. She bit the bullet and did the right thing and then spent the rest of her time comforting us about her diagnosis."

"I know" he said quietly "about her just carrying on. It's something I've admired about her since the very beginning."

Brenda nodded. "She loves you, you know"

"Apparently, if her yelling is anything to go by" he said smiling.

"She has for a long time"

Patrick looked at her in surprise. "She has?"

"Trust me when I tell you that my long distance bill has your name all over it. Robin doesn't fall easily but she fell like a ton of bricks for you."

"I fell for her a long time ago too but I was too much of a coward to admit it."

"What changed?"

"The thought of being without her. When we ended things in Greece I came home and went back to my old ways but it felt emptier than ever. Robin has this way of just kind of taking over your life. And life without her sucked."

"And are you sure about the baby?"

"Genetics don't make a father" he said echoing Nathalie's advice to him. "I intend to love her and the baby."

Brenda smiled and took Patrick's hand. "Take care of my sister Patrick, I'm counting on you."

He smiled, flashing his dimple. "I will, I promise."


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46

Chapter 46

"Why can't we take a tour of the Vatican?" Robin asked. "I love the Sistine Chapel."

"Because, for the fourth time, you and Patrick will burst into flames if you walk in there. You'll have to settle for seeing the ruins. And then we have just enough time for a late lunch at Giovanni's before I have to get you to the airport."

"As if you haven't done the same thing" Robin grumbled.

"Not with an audience I haven't" Brenda teased as they walked through the bustling Roman streets. "Ooooh – can we just stop and look for a moment?" Brenda said, grabbing Robin's arm.

"What?" Patrick asked looking up "It's just a Prada store"

Brenda gasped and Robin buried her face in her hands. "Patrick. Drake." Brenda admonished, "There is no such thing as JUST Prada – it is Prada – PRADA Patrick and should be talked about in the appropriate hushed tones of respect."

Patrick's mouth fell open. "But….you seemed almost normal when we first met" he said dumbfounded.

Robin smacked him. "Do not take her on, on this….please"

Patrick turned back and watched as Brenda's face lit up in front of the display window. "Rob – look at the pretty purses – don't you think the blue one would look good on me?"

Robin let go of Patrick's hand and stood beside her friend. "I do Bren – but don't you already have that purse?"

"But not in blue" she said lovingly.

"Bren – we're never going to get to the ruins if you stop to buy the purse."

Brenda grabbed Robin's hand and pulled her into the store "Screw the ruins, they've been here for a few thousand years, they're not going anywhere but I MUST have that purse!"

Patrick shook his head as he followed them into the store. Leaning against the counter, he couldn't keep the smile from his face as he watched Robin and Brenda squeal over purses and shoes. Though rarely unguarded, he had seen her have fun before but it was the first time he had witnessed her truly being girly. For a brief moment he caught a glimpse of what she must have been like as a teenager.

xoxoxoxo

Four purses and six pairs of shoes between them later, Patrick felt more like a pack mule than a man in love. They gave the ruins a pass, stopping just long enough for lunch before Brenda had her car and driver whisk them to the airport. Both women were a teary mess as they said goodbye, so much so that Brenda even hugged Patrick.

Strapped into their seats Robin and Patrick held hands as the plane took off. "You okay?" he asked, squeezing her hand. Robin nodded. "Are you thinking about your new shoes?"

Robin giggled. "No, sadly. I'm thinking of all the conversations I need to have when I get back – with my Uncle Mac, my father, my cousins. There are just so many people to tell."

"They'll be happy for you" he said reassuringly.

"There is no guarantee. It's easy for people to be supportive when they don't think there's a risk that it will come true. It's a whole other matter when faced with it."

"Robin, do you really think there is anyone in your life who is truly going to object to you being pregnant? Because if they do, they have no business being in your life."

Robin kissed his hand. "I like having you on my side."

"Where else would I be?"

"Six months ago would have believed this would be where you wound up?"

"I probably wouldn't have believed it six weeks ago Robin. It takes me a long time to take a leap like this but once I decide to do it, there's no talking me out of it."

"I'm going to need you to be patient with me. I'm not used to leaning on people, at all. I don't actually like to do it."

"I hadn't noticed" he snarked kindly.

"Well you always were a little slow. I know, intellectually, that you're here and I can depend on you…but…"

"It's taking the heart a little while to catch up with the head?" he offered.

"Exactly."

"Me too Robin. Let's just do it one day at a time."

"Okay."

xoxoxoxo

Exhausted from her 72-hour trip to Rome and back, Robin fell asleep in the taxi as soon as she sat down. Not wanting to wake her, Patrick carefully took her from the taxi and carried her upstairs to the apartment. Laying her on the bed, he took off her shoes before tucking her under the covers. Scribbling a note and leaving on the kitchen counter, he headed back out to the hospital.

He found Noah, hunched over his desk making notations in a file. "You know, that's terrible posture for a doctor" he said, leaning in the doorway. Noah jumped at the sound of Patrick's voice.

"Patrick – this is a nice surprise. Are you coming in or are you just going to fill my doorway like a bouncer?"

Patrick smirked as he walked through the door. He flopped into the chair across from his father, yawning. "Am I keeping you up?"

"No – I'm just kind of wiped. So listen" he started, sitting up a little straighter "I have some news."

"Oh?" Noah asked curiously.

"I'm in love with Robin."

Noah stared at him. "And?"

"What do you mean 'and'? I just told you I'm in love with Robin."

"Yes and apparently the only people who didn't know you and Robin are in love with each other are you two!"

"Really?"

"God Patrick, you've chased the girl all over the city since you met her. Not to mention your occasional jealous implosions did nothing but confirm it."

"Jealous implosions – what are you talking about? I don't do jealous."

"Whatever you need to tell yourself, sport. I'm happy for you – really. Robin is a great woman and you couldn't have chosen better."

"Thanks" he said shyly. "There's something else I need to tell you."

"What?"

"Robin is pregnant."

Noah's mouth made a perfect o. "I see" he said slowly "have you been tested?"

Patrick shook his head. "I'm not the father."

Noah did a double take. "Pardon?"

"I'm not the father" he sighed "Bruce Harris is but he wants nothing to do with the baby or Robin for that matter."

"Where does this leave you?"

"In love with her"

"I get that part but what about the baby?"

Patrick shrugged. "I'm with Robin – where I want to be. The baby, though not mine, is a bonus."

Noah studied his son's face carefully. There had been a profound change in him in the months since they had reconciled. His son had continually run from commitment and love and yet here he was now ready to openly love one woman but embrace a child that was not his.

"Wow."

"Wow? I tell you I'm going to be a father – kind of – and all you can manage is wow?"

Noah rubbed his hand over his mouth. "I'm just kind of shocked here Patrick. You're about to have an instant family, are you sure you're ready?"

"Is anyone ever ready? But I know what I want and that's Robin in my life – baby and all. Do you think I'm being foolish?"

"No" Noah said hoarsely. "I don't know that I have ever been more proud of you than I am right at this moment."

Patrick felt his eyes inexplicably fill with tears. "I think Robin's hormones are rubbing off on me."

"Love her with abandon Patrick – don't hold back – love them both with abandon. It will be returned to you in a million ways." Noah lowered his head and wiped at his own tears.

"Dad? Everything okay?"

He nodded. "I miss your mother every day. I miss her more at Christmases, anniversaries and birthdays but having you here, announcing that you're in love and you're going to be a father – I'm not sure I've ever missed her more than I do right now."

Patrick swallowed thickly. "Me too" he said gruffly. "I think she would like Robin."

Noah nodded. "And I know she would like the man you've become." Coming around his desk, he hugged his son and whispered in his ear. "Congratulations Patrick – you're going to a great father."

"Thanks Dad"

xoxoxoxoxo

Patrick opened the door and saw Robin setting the table for dinner. "What are you doing out of bed?"

"I'm pregnant not sick" she said, returning to the kitchen to bring out the plates. "How was the hospital?"

"Fine. I told my Dad."

Robin froze. "And?" she asked nervously.

Patrick walked to her and brushed his lips against hers. "He's thrilled. He really adores you, you know."

"I adore him so that works out well for both of us."

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine." Taking him by the hand, she led him to the couch. "Patrick" she started.

"Yes?" he said, pushing her hair over her shoulder.

"You're going to make me nuts if you spend the next nine months asking me if I'm okay every 30 seconds. Can we negotiate this?"

Patrick grinned. "Once an hour?"

"Once a day?"

"Four times a day?"

"Twice a day?"

Patrick pulled at his bottom lip, considering her offer. "Fine – deal – twice a day – starting tomorrow."

Robin rolled her eyes as she leaned in for a kiss. "Have I mentioned that I love you?"

"Actually not on this continent you haven't"

"Oh, well – let me say it for the first time on American soil then – I love you."

"I love you…."

"Robin Scorpio – you OPEN this door RIGHT NOW!!"

"NOW ROBIN"

Both looked in shock at the door as they heard the frantic voices of her father and her uncle. Patrick got up and opened the door, barely having time to move before both Scorpio men barreled through. They narrowed their eyes as they glared at Patrick before turning to Robin.

"Is it true?" Robert asked.

"Is what true and when did you both become such maniacs?"

"Are you…is it…are you" Robert stammered.

"What your father is so ineloquently trying to ask is are you pregnant?"

Robin looked at Patrick who shrugged his shoulders. "I think you should both take a seat" she said calmly.

"I don't need to sit –are you pregnant?" Robert repeated

"Yes and I was going to tell you both but…."

"I'm going to kill him – inch by inch" Robert growled.

"And I'm going to help" Mac confirmed.

Robin stood up. "It's not Patrick's baby – if you would give me a chance to explain"

"We know it's not Patrick's baby Robin" Mac said, calming slightly. "It's Harris we're going to kill."

Robert tossed the latest copy of the Port Charles Gazette on the table. Robin felt her legs give way as she picked it up and read the screaming headline.

**Is Harris HIV+?**

Rumors that ex-girlfriend is pregnant.


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47

Robin let the paper tumble from her hands, shocked. Bending down, Patrick picked it up and after reading the headline, balled it up. "I'm going to fucking kill him" he hissed.

"Get in line" Robert said.

"I'll turn in my badge so we can take turns beating him"

"I think I have some contacts still in Romanian military - they were great at torture." Robert said.

"We could kidnap him" Mac offered.

"I could beat him with my hockey stick – it's a goalie stick so the paddle is good and thick." Patrick suggested.

"STOP!!" Robin screamed clutching her head. "I can't take this" she said as she sank to the couch.

Patrick was beside her in a shot. "I'm sorry baby – are you okay?" Mac and Robert looked at each other both mouthing 'baby?'.

"I just – you all need to stop yelling and outlining the ways you're going to kill Bruce. It's not helping." She put her head on Patrick's shoulder.

"I'm sorry Robin but this man is hurting you and I won't stand for it" Robert stated.

"I appreciate that Dad but you cannot go after this guy – you cannot threaten to kill him."

"Who's talking about threatening?" Mac scoffed. "We mean to actually kill him"

"There is nothing in that headline that is a lie – I am pregnant and he has been exposed to HIV. And who says that he put that in there? Maybe one of his opponents did it." She rubbed her hands over her face. "It's not like having HIV is a disease that will win you any votes" she added bitterly.

Patrick took her hand. "Okay, we won't kill him" he said trying to lighten the mood.

"Yet" Robert said, sitting on the table in front of Robin. Mac sat on the other end of the table. "What are you doing here?" he asked Patrick.

Patrick gave a small smile. "Hanging out with my girlfriend" Robin closed her eyes and smiled.

"Hrmph" Mac and Robert said together.

"Hey Dad?"

"Yes luv?"

"I'm pregnant – you're going to be a grandfather"

Robert stared at her. In all of his rage regarding the headlines about his daughter, he hadn't fully processed the fact that his child was going to have a child. "Ah…I….oh my" he said as his eyes began to well. He reached for Robin and pulled her into his arms. "My darling girl- you're going to be a mother." He kissed the side of her head. Robin began to cry. Patrick moved out of the way as Mac climbed over him to join the Scorpio family hug.

Robin pulled back first. "So Gramps…."

"Oh – hey now – I'm not one for titles. I'm not grandpa material – I'm still young and virile" Mac snorted. "What's that Great Uncle Mac?" Robert said as he turned to him.

"Great uncle? Hell, I'm younger than you"

"But I always was the better looking one."

Robin looked at Patrick. "It's entirely possible I may lose my mind before this baby is born" she whispered to him.

"It looks like a 50/50 split on where the insanity genes are going to come from" he teased. Robin smacked him on the arm.

"And you" Mac said turning to Patrick "You're okay with this?"

"You mean the two of you showing signs of early dementia?"

"Oh he's a comedian" Mac said sardonically. Robert met Patrick's eyes and gave him and knowing and grateful look.

"I'm really sorry you both found out the way you did. If I had thought there was any chance it was going to be in the papers…"

Robert put his hand on Robin's leg. "It's okay luv. How are you feeling?"

"Morning sickness – which really lasts a whole lot longer than morning. And I'm really, really tired but that's to be expected."

"I can't believe you're going to have a baby" Mac said wondrously.

"Me either" Robin concurred, "but pretty soon my belly won't let me forget it."

"We should, ah, let you two be." Robert said, standing.

Robin stood with him and threw her arms around him tightly. "Thank you for wanting to ride to my rescue"

"You're my daughter" he said, stroking her hair "It's in the job description to want to kill for you." Robin giggled.

She walked to Mac and hugged him tightly too. "I love you Uncle Mac"

"I love you too Robin. I'm happy for you."

"Patrick, son" Robert said "Why don't you walk my brother and I out?"

"Dad – no! Leave Patrick alone" Robin pleaded.

"I'm fine" he reassured her. Winking at her, he walked with Robert and Mac to the door.

Standing in the hallway he looked at the two brothers. "So, gentlemen – what's up?"

"We don't like this Harris character." Robert said.

"Neither do I"

"Good – Mac and I are going to take a trip to Manhattan and have a little chat with him."

"Um, I say this with respect for who you are to Robin and for the various ways you both could kill me but I really think Robin would appreciate it if you left it alone. You don't know how Bruce may react to your visit and it could wind up making the story bigger rather than smaller."

"Are you telling us not to deal with him?" Mac clarified.

"Absolutely not. You guys will do what you want. I'm simply telling you what I think Robin would prefer – it's her interests I'm trying to protect. Look, I know how guys like him work, it's all about courting votes – they can see nothing but that. For christ's sake he probably did a poll to find out what the public would think if he were HIV+. He's probably polled about Robin several times." Patrick sighed. "The trick with these guys is to be patient. If you want to get to him…"

"No if about it" Robert interrupted.

"If you want to get to him, you need to wait for him to hit a cold spot in his campaign. You can't win while he's hot with the media."

Both men stared at him. "You're awfully protective of Robin for someone who didn't have that much time for her earlier. What do you get out of all this?" Mac asked suspiciously.

"I'm in love with her – it means I get everything." He nodded at them before returning to the apartment.

"Did they grill you?" Robin asked when he came back.

"Not at all. Are you upset about the paper?"

Robin shrugged. "I don't know – I guess I should expect it to a certain extent."

"Do you think he did it?"

She nodded. "I wouldn't put anything past him." He walked over to her and lowering his head, captured her lips in a soft, tender kiss.

"What was that for?" she asked, breathless.

"Do I need a reason?"

She smiled seductively. "Nope – you can kiss me anytime you want." She closed her eyes, suddenly exhausted.

"Do you still want dinner or do you want to go straight to bed?"

"If I went to bed, I'd leave you all alone to eat and that's not very nice"

Patrick ran his thumb along her cheek. "I'm a big boy – I can feed myself. Let's get you to bed."

Too done-in to resist, she let him take her hand and lead her to the bedroom. She climbed under the covers and he tucked her in. He kissed her again and smiled against her lips as she lost a battle to keep her eyes open.

xoxoxoxoxo

Asleep for only a few hours, his eyes flew open when he reached for Robin and got only empty space. Pulling the duvet off the bed and wrapping it around him, he walked out to the main room in search of her. He found her sitting on the couch, knees to chest and a cup of tea in her hand. He flopped down beside her.

"Mint tea?"

She nodded "My stomach was doing flip flops." Opening the duvet, he pulled her against him. "I should be happier" she said.

"What do you mean?" he asked quietly.

"I'm pregnant, I'm supposed to be happy."

Patrick said nothing at first. He could feel the tension in her body as she lay against him. Gently massaging her shoulders, he nuzzled her neck. "You have to give it a chance Robin. This isn't a normal beginning to a pregnancy. As you get your head around it, I think you'll start to get excited about it."

She nestled in against him and sighed. "I have an appointment tomorrow."

"What kind of appointment?"

"With Kelly and the HIV specialist."

"Oh." Patrick absently stroked her hair as he watched the moonlight fill the sky.

"Would you come with me?" she asked shyly.

"Are you sure?" he murmured into the top of her hair.

"If you're up for it, I'd like you to be with me."

"Okay then" He laid back on the couch, taking Robin with him. Pulling the duvet tighter around them, they fell asleep tangled in each other.

xoxoxoxoxo

Patrick came skidding through the door into the exam room. "Sorry I'm late – I had a consult that ran late." He walked to the exam table and took Robin's hand.

"Dr. Drake, this is Dr. Maida - he's an HIV and pregnancy specialist." Kelly said introducing him.

Patrick extended his hand. "Patrick Drake."

"Steve Maida" he said shaking Patrick's hand. "I was just explaining to Robin that we'll have to change her protocol for the first trimester."

"Why?" Patrick asked.

"Well, there are some ARVs that present minimal risk to the baby and I would be more comfortable if Robin were on those. We'll carefully monitor her viral load and t-cell count – if there's any change we'll revert back to her original cocktail since we know it works."

Patrick turned to Robin. "Are you okay with this?" She nodded.

"Actually Patrick" Kelly said "You're just in time. We're about to listen for the heartbeat."

"No ultrasound?"

"Next week" she smiled.

Robin lifted her shirt and pushed her pants down her hips. She jumped slightly as the cold gel hit her skin. Patrick nervously licked his lips as Kelly placed the Doppler on her belly. At first there was nothing but silence in the air and panic rose inside of Patrick. Out of nowhere the room was filled with the most amazing sound.

_Tatatatatatatatatatatatatata_

"That's a good strong heartbeat Robin"

Suddenly overcome by emotion, she held her hand out to Patrick. He grinned as he took it. "Do you hear that?" she asked in awe "That's a heartbeat – our baby's heartbeat"


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48

Chapter 48

"Um…" Patrick exhaled. "I…wow…I….wow.."

"You okay, Patrick?" Robin asked smiling.

"That is possibly the most awesome thing ever" he said huskily.

Kelly passed Robin a cloth to wipe the gel off. "More awesome than cutting open a skull?" she asked, putting the Doppler away.

"Well – it's a close second" he teased, kissing Robin on the forehead.

Dr. Maida handed the new prescriptions to Robin. "You'll want to start these tonight" he said kindly.

"Thanks Dr. Maida" Robin said, pulling up her jeans.

Everyone turned to the door as it flew open. "Did I miss anything important?"

Patrick felt his hand go numb as Robin clamped down on it. "What the hell are you doing here Harris?" he hissed.

"I'm here for the appointment" he stated.

"You're not welcome here" Patrick growled.

"Don't be ridiculous – that" he pointed to Robin's stomach "is my baby she's carrying and I have rights."

Robin found her voice. "Rights? Rights? This coming from the same guy who offered me money for an abortion and told me that I wouldn't be able to 'pawn' the child off on you when I die?"

Robin felt Patrick shift, ready to pounce but she put her hand on his hip.

"That was an unfortunate choice of words. I was in shock and hadn't had time to process it. Now that I've had time to think, I am not going to be absent from my child's life."

"Bruce this is a private appointment and I do not want you here."

"That's too bad Robin. I have a right to be here and be involved in the healthcare decisions you make."

"Get out!" she yelled. "Get the fuck out!"

"Mr. Harris" Kelly began "I don't want my patient upset so perhaps it's best if you step outside."

"Dr Lee is it?" he said turning to her "I barely recognize you without your lingerie on. Your performance at the Nurses Ball was highly entertaining." Kelly flinched at the implication in his words.

Reaching his boiling point, Patrick pounced on Bruce, grabbing him by the lapels and dragging him out of the exam room.

"Patrick no!" Robin called after him but it was too late – he was blind with rage. Still holding Bruce he threw him up against the wall.

"You sick sonofabitch!" he snarled, inches from his face. "You stay the hell away from her"

"I'd love to Drake" he said evenly, pushing Patrick away from him "but you see as I'm the daddy, I have a vested interest in her health and how it relates to my baby's health"

"This is a joke, right? Let me guess – you ran a poll and discovered the voters like the idea of you as a father? You don't love that child – you don't even want that child. Leave Robin alone"

"Au contraire. I do want that child. It's a part of me. Your girlfriend is having my baby" he smiled evilly.

Patrick pulled his hand back, ready to drive it into Bruce's smug face. "Patrick!" Robin called to him "Just leave it alone" Reluctantly, Patrick dropped his fist.

Bruce smoothed down his suit. "Robin, I'd like to speak to you alone please."

"She isn't talking to you alone so you can spew more of your hate" Patrick said.

Robin put her hand on his arm. "I'll be fine." Looking at Bruce she said, "Let's go to my office."

Patrick stared after her dumbfounded. It always amazed him that no matter how good things were they could disintegrate in a manner of minutes. He had been completely cocooned in a mind-blowing experience and before he could even take it all in, it was blown to smithereens. He straightened the stethoscope around his neck and headed back to the Nurses Station.

Robin said nothing as they walked to her office. Unlocking the door, she let him in first and closed the door behind them. "What do you want?"

"To be a part of the baby's life – our child Robin."

Robin stared at him. "Why?"

He ran a hand through his hair. "Look, I know I've handled things poorly and you have no idea how much I regret that but I've had a few days to think it over and if you're going to keep the baby then I want to be a part of it."

She arched her eyebrow. "Oh really? Seems awfully convenient for you."

"Actually there is very little about this or the post-exposure stuff that is convenient but I'm trying to do what's right here."

"You cannot just barge into my appointments, Bruce. I don't want you there."

"Robin, I have rights…"

"As do I and you don't have blankets rights here – my appointments are confidential."

"I want to be there for the big stuff like the ultrasounds and heartbeats"

Robin shook her head. "Not a chance. I will send you photos from the ultrasound and I will keep you advised if there are any changes to my health but you cannot come to my appointments. It's too stressful for me."

"Then tell Drake to stay away."

Robin scoffed. "He's my boyfriend and he's welcome. You are not."

"I think you're being unreasonable" he said crossing his arms in front of him.

"Unreasonable! I'm being unreasonable?" she shook her head and walked towards her door. "After everything you've done to me you dare to stand there and call me unreasonable? Look – I wish you weren't the father but you are – that means we need to work things out surrounding the baby but beyond that I want nothing to do with you. Don't ever pull a stunt like that again or you will never see your child."

Bruce walked towards her, standing inches from her. "Are you threatening me?"

"No threat – fact."

"This isn't over Robin." He stared at her before heading out the door.

Her hands shook as she closed the door behind him. She had a feeling the nightmare was just beginning. She worked the rest of the day in her lab avoiding everyone, including Patrick. What had started out as a magical day for her had descended into chaos and threats – it was more than she wanted to deal with.

xoxoxoxoxo

She stopped by the pharmacy on her way to get her new protocol. All she wanted to do was get inside her apartment and lie down. It was nearly impossible to figure out where the pre-natal fatigue ended and the stress induced fatigue began but she could barely keep her eyes open. Taking the first dose of her new protocol, she curled up on the couch in front of the television and tried to forget the day.

She was dozing when she heard Patrick's key in the door. He came in quietly, putting his bag down by the entrance. As he sat down on the couch, he picked up her legs and placed them on his lap and began to massage her feet.

"Hey" he said softly

"Hi" her voice was flat.

"I came by the lab a few times today but I didn't see you."

"I had lots to do."

"Are you okay?" he asked carefully.

"Fine"

Patrick paused, picking up on the tension in her voice. "Are you pissed at me?"

"No but I would appreciate it if you would refrain from being all cave man like on Bruce – I don't need it."

He looked at her skeptically. "You're upset that I roughed him up?"

"Look, like it or not, he is this baby's father and if he wants to be involved in its life then there is nothing I can do about it. The last thing I need right now is you being an ass." She sighed. "I'm not in really good humour right now – I think it would be better if you went home tonight."

Patrick stopped rubbing her feet and stared at her. "Is that what you really want?"

"Yes" she said, not meeting his eyes.

He stood up and looked at her one last time before walking to the door. Picking up his bag, he opened the door and left. Robin flinched as she heard the door close behind him. She hadn't meant to be so harsh with him but she felt engulfed in confusion and emotion and just needed to clear her head.

She sat up suddenly as wave after wave of nausea washed over her. Pushing the blanket away, she sprinted to the bathroom.

30 minutes later she was still there, exhausted with her hair stuck to her face.

"This will help" Patrick said handing her soda crackers.

Robin jumped at the sound of his voice. "What…what are you doing here?"

He slid to the floor beside her with a wet face cloth in his hand. He wiped her face and pushed her hair away.

"I'm not going to apologize for attacking Bruce. He hurt you and he humiliated you and I will attack someone every time they do that to you. Baby's father or not, he doesn't get to treat you like dirt. And you don't get to push me away either just because you're feeling sad or tired or threatened. No matter how hard I tried, you wouldn't leave me when I was at my lowest point, so suck it up, buttercup because I'm not going anywhere."

He kissed her forehead. Robin leaned against him, putting her head in his lap. She closed her eyes as he stroked her hair. He watched her face as the tension slowly left it.

The sound of the heartbeat echoed in his head. He could never tell her but in that moment at the hospital he would have given anything to be the father.


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49

Robin woke in Patrick's arms. Opening her eyes, she sighed and leaned back into him. He sleepily tightened his grip around her. Her memory of getting to bed was fuzzy. She knew that she had fallen asleep in Patrick's lap and that the nausea had passed. She woke again as he slid her under the covers but he had shushed her back to sleep. Now she could feel the sunlight on her face and his warm breath on the back of her neck. His fingers were laced through hers over her belly.

It was in moments like this one where Robin forgot everything except that she loved Patrick and she was going to have a baby. Everything else was details and she was tired of details. She tried to escape from Patrick's arms, not wanting to wake him since he was on nights starting today but he trapped her as she moved.

"Where are you going?" he mumbled sleepily.

"Just getting up. Go back to sleep"

"Stay here with me" he said, not opening his eyes.

"I can't. I have some errands to run this morning and then I have to get to the hospital."

"Party pooper" he mumbled again, rolling onto his back as she got up.

Robin gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "Go back to sleep, dream about me and I'll see you at the hospital later."

"Fine" he sighed, closing his eyes.

"Patrick?"

"Mmm?"

"I love you" Robin watched as an enormous smile spread across his face.

"Me too"

xoxoxoxo

Robin showered and dressed, leaving a sleeping Patrick in her bed. She stopped at Kelly's and grudgingly ordered a decaf and a lemon poppyseed muffin.

"Decaf?" Lulu asked in surprise, throwing out the coffee she had poured when she saw Robin walk through the door.

"Yeah. I'm trying to be healthier. Who knew that eight cups of coffee a day was a problem?"

"Aren't you a doctor?" Lulu asked, passing her the decaf.

"Not a coffee doctor Lulu" she snapped

Lulu nodded. "Did you want to maybe ease into your caffeine-free lifestyle?"

"Sorry" she said sheepishly. "I miss my coffee"

"I think others are going to miss you having coffee as well" she teased.

"Thanks Lu – very helpful"

"Just calling them as I see them. I might get Georgie to start working mornings" she added as an afterthought.

"Funny girl" Robin said, taking her order and heading out.

xoxoxoxo

Arriving at her first stop, she felt strange standing at the door. There had been a time when his place had felt like home but so many things had changed in the intervening years.

"Mr. C will see you now" Max said, leading her in.

"Robin – this is a nice surprise" Sonny said, getting up from his chair.

Crossing the room, she gave him a hug before sitting on the couch. Looking around the room she was struck at how different it was from the penthouse. In a strange sense, things – life – had seemed freer there, less anchored by the day to day dramas that can weigh a life down. In the face of death there was a lot of life at the penthouse and Robin missed it. She missed that Sonny as well.

"How are you?" she asked.

"I'm doing well. What's…what's going on with you?"

Robin inhaled. "I have some news and it may seem kind of strange to tell you but…I don't know…just after everything we've shared I uh, I kind of want you to be a part of this."

Sonny looked at her in surprise. "What is it?"

"I'm going to have a baby" she said quietly, waiting for his reaction. She heard his sharp intake of breath and watched as his eyes glistened.

"Robin" he said, pulling her into an embrace. "That's great news."

She smiled into his shoulder. "Pretty cool, eh?"

Sonny exhaled and wiped at his eyes. "I am …wow….you are going to be an amazing mother."

"Thanks. I'm not sure why but I've had this burning desire to tell you since I've found out."

Sonny patted her arm. "Because there was a time when you and I didn't think anything like this would be possible." He shook his head "I can't ..I can't tell you how happy I am for you. Robin – you deserve this."

She nodded. "I, uh, I'm still bowled over by it."

"Do you need anything? Doctors? Money?"

"No Sonny, thank you but I'm fine."

"I know you have your family Robin but I promised Stone I would take care of you and I haven't done a good job of it – so you just need to ask and I'll do whatever I can"

"Sonny" she said reaching for his hand "I didn't let you take care of me. We made choices…." She trailed off. "I'm just glad we're in this place now."

"Me too sweetheart." He kissed the side of her head. "So tell me how Dr. Drake took the news."

Robin shifted uncomfortably. "He's not the father"

"He's not? Then who….oh" Sonny said making a face.

"Not ideal. But Patrick wants to be with me regardless so I'm pretty lucky."

"And what about this Harris guy – he set you up a the Nurses Ball."

"I know. He originally didn't want anything to do with the baby but has changed his mind. We're working out the boundaries"

"Is he giving you a hard time? He disrespected you quite a bit Robin and maybe he and I need to have a little chat. I can help him define his boundaries."

Robin couldn't help but laugh. Her relationship with Sonny had changed fundamentally from what it was but some things continued to hold true – starting with his desire to set people straight. "It's okay Sonny – I have it under control."

"I know you're strong Robin but sometimes people need a little push to understand a situation."

"And that's what you do? Push?"

He smiled. "That's what I do. Listen – you say the word and Harris and I will have a conversation."

"I like you in my corner"

"I've always been there Robin – just invisible for a while."

Robin stood. "Thanks Sonny."

He hugged her again. "You take care of yourself and that precious baby of yours."

xoxoxoxoxo

Patrick sat across from Alexis, disappointed. "I'm sorry Patrick but you can't apply for a restraining order on Robin's behalf" the DA informed him.

"But Alexis – this guy is stressing her out, he's upsetting her and I'm worried for her health. She already has a compromised immune system, the pregnancy will be a stress on that and she doesn't need him adding to it."

"Patrick, I'm not insensitive to your situation or Robin's but there are a few issues here. He hasn't done anything that would meet the test of harassment. Furthermore, he's the father- you can't try and terminate his parental rights."

"What if I terminate him" Patrick muttered.

"Okay, I'm just going to pretend that I did not hear that because someone else could construe that as uttering a threat"

"So there's nothing that can be done?"

She shook her head. "He's the father…"

"So everyone keeps reminding me" he added.

Alexis smiled sympathetically. "He's the father so my advice to both of you is to find a way to negotiate his involvement. Patrick if you try to bar him outright you're only going to infuriate him and provoke him into barging into an appointment."

"Robin has rights too"

"She does. He cannot compel her to allow him to be at the appointment. But what if you guys let him know the days of the appointments – not the time – just the day. If you let him feel like he has some control of the situation, he might back off."

"Have you met him Alexis? He makes Saddam look like a poster boy for ethics and scruples."

The attorney smiled. "I have in fact met him and felt the need to count all my fingers after he shook my hand. Patrick smirked. "Patrick, you don't want to this to become litigious. It won't help you or more importantly it won't help Robin at all."

He nodded, deflated. "Thanks for your time" he said standing up.

"Patrick" she called to him as he headed to the door.

"Yeah?"

"I have a special place in my heart for Robin and while I can't do anything at the moment, let me know the moment he crosses the line. I'll be all over him like a fat kid on a smartie."

He nodded. "Thanks."

Exiting the office, he ran smack into a person trying to get in the door.

"Patrick?"

"Robin?"

"What are you doing here?" they asked together.

"You first" he said.

"Nu-uh. You're leaving, I'm arriving – you first."

Patrick rubbed the back of his neck. "You know how you wanted me to not be a cave man about Bruce?" Robin nodded her head. "I haven't figured out how to yet – I was here to see Alexis about a restraining order." Robin grinned. "What's so funny?"

Robin looked at the ground before meeting his eyes. "That's why I'm here."

Patrick smiled. "Great minds."

"I'm guessing by the look on your face the answer was no?"

He nodded. "Apparently he hasn't crossed any lines yet – well other than the ones of human decency."

"That's too bad."

"We're not out of options yet. I'm going to have another conversation with Nikolas about throwing him off the board."

"Patrick…"

"No way Robin. We may not be able to stop him from being a part of all this" he said circling with his hand. "But I'll be damned if I'm going to let him stay in any kind of position of power in the hospital."

"What are you going to do?"

"I have a few tricks up my sleeve."

Robin grinned. "I don't know about that. I've been up your sleeve and there aren't any tricks there"

Patrick smiled seductively. "That's because the tricks for you are kept somewhere else." He began to laugh as Robin blushed.

"I don't know how you can still do that to me"

"I can think of a few things I'd like to do to you" he growled against her ear.

"STOP!" she pleaded, teasingly.

"Let's go have breakfast."

"I already had breakfast" she said.

"Then second breakfast" he said holding out his hand. Robin took it wondering how much further in love she could fall.


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50

"May I join you Robin?"

Robin looked up from her notes to see Noah standing in front of her. "Of course" she said, closing her files.

Noah sat down and looked at his tray. "One day cafeteria food will be better, I just don't think it's today" he smiled.

"No" she said, pushing her Caesar salad around on her plate. "I think I've had cardboard with more taste than this."

"How are you feeling?"

Noah felt very protective of Robin. She had been a warrior in his corner when he had been sick and though he hadn't reacted well initially, she had forgiven him.

"I'm okay. I haven't thrown up once today" she said proudly.

"I suppose that's progress. When Mattie was pregnant with Patrick she threw up every day for three months"

"That's not a happy story Noah" she teased.

"I suppose not" he said, realizing what he'd said. "But after it passed she felt great. She had a wonderful pregnancy – she glowed – a lot like you."

Robin blushed. "I don't think I'm glowing yet."

"You are, trust me. How are your meds?"

She nodded, taking a bite of her salad. "The new protocol has taken some getting used to but it's been almost a week now and things seem to be settling. How are you doing Noah?"

"I'm good. Have I thanked you for what you have done for Patrick and I?"

"Only about a billion times" she grinned "but I'm a sucker for platitudes so, bring it on."

"You're an amazing woman Robin"

Suddenly uncomfortable with the attention, Robin turned it back to Noah. "So did Mattie have a good labour?"

"Well" Noah started "you know how Patrick can be a pain and stubborn and set on doing things his own way?"

"As a matter of fact I do" she giggled.

"He started that early – like at birth. Mattie's labour wasn't progressing because his highness wasn't quite ready to come out."

"Had no one told him there were nurses to flirt with?"

Noah smiled. "Exactly. Actually at one point, he had reversed positions and Mattie needed a c-section"

"He was a breech?"

Noah nodded. "Came out ass backwards and has been that way ever since" he joked.

Robin covered her face with her hands to stop from laughing out loud. "You know, he would have such a complex if he heard you say that"

"It's a father's job to undermine their son's ego wherever possible."

Robin stared at Noah. When she had met him he was the living embodiment of a broken man. He had given up on his career, on his son and on life. He lived without hope for anything to change and was intent on drinking himself to death. Somehow she had seen a glimmer of the man he had once been and, in her own way, bullied him into coming to Port Charles. Once here, the layers of pain and self-loathing had begun to strip away revealing an inordinately kind man, smarter for the experiences life had thrown at him and newly focused on reclaiming his career. She adored him.

"Noah, are you okay with this?"

"Okay with what?"

"Me – the baby – Patrick? I mean, there isn't a parent out there who lies awake thinking wow, when my son grows up I hope he meets a woman with HIV carrying another man's child."

Noah's face softened completely and he took Robin's hand. "Robin" he exhaled "we Drake men are really quite poor at expressing ourselves but let me give this a try. You love my son – you fight for him and you fight with him and he is a better man for it. Meeting you has changed his life…and mine. As for your HIV it's part of you and I kind of like you just as you are. Patrick loves your child already and that is more than I could ever have dreamed for him so to answer your question, I am so much more than okay with this."

Robin beamed. "Does this mean we can call you gramps?"

"Not a chance" he answered quickly. He looked at his beeper and looked back at her. "Thanks for lunch Robin – and everything else" He winked at her as he left the table and she was reminded that the Drake charm seemed to be genetic.

xoxoxoxoxo

Back at her lab, Robin was surprised to find Patrick waiting for her. "Patrick?"

"Hey" he said, giving her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Are you okay, you look kind of pale"

He licked his lips nervously. "Okay before I start you need to understand that I was the cool guy in high school."

"Right – cool – got it"

"I never did stuff like this and really it kind of goes against my guy code but he has a gun and I don't think he's afraid to use it."

"Patrick you understand that though you are saying words they don't actually make any sense, right?"

He stood up and began to pace. "They showed me their guns Robin."

"Oookaaay. Who?"

"Lucky and Cruz – they have guns and they showed them to me."

"Why?" she asked slowly.

"I can't believe I'm going to do this. Cruz likes Lainey and wants a group date so he can get to know her better. Lucky is bringing Liz and I've been sent to get you to bring Lainey."

Robin burst out laughing. "This is your big source of stress?"

"It's not funny Robin! This feels like ninth grade!!"

"Let me get this straight – two police detectives have asked neurosurgeon to ask his pathologist girlfriend to ask a psychiatrist to join everyone for a group date?" He nodded. "Seems to me like we've all wasted our higher education"

"I'm glad you find this so amusing – will you do it or not?"

"Oh I wouldn't miss this for anything. You go tell those two scawy men wif big guns that I will deliver the doctor."

"Do you have any idea how much I hate you right now?" he asked smiling.

"Oh some" she teased. He stole a last kiss before leaving shaking his head muttering something about being emasculated.

xoxoxoxo

Robin panted as she tried to do up her favourite jeans. No matter how hard she tried – lying on the bed, on the floor or leaning flush against the door, she could not get them to do up. "Aaagggh!" she screamed alone. "The fatness has begun."

Reluctantly, she took them off and threw them to the floor. Pulling open her closet to look for something else to wear, she was struck by the amount of men's clothing that had worked its way into her closet. She grabbed hold of his green dress shirt and buried her face in it, breathing in his scent. Patrick spent almost every night at her place and had a shaving kit, clothes and a toothbrush stored there. For all intents and purposes they were living together.

She pulled out a short denim skirt and gave a sigh of relief as the buttons did up. Grabbing a favourite green jersey sweater that slung low on her shoulders, she ran a brush through her hair and then headed out the door. Looking at her watch she realized she better get a move on.

By the time she got to Jake's, Patrick and Lucky were having a rematch at the pool table and Cruz and Lainey were deep in conversation. Kelly had shown up with Milo. Only Liz was left alone, staring into her drink. She gave a quick wave to Patrick as she joined the others at the table.

"Having fun?" she asked Liz.

"Doesn't it look like it?" she said sardonically. Robin gave her a sympathetic smile.

Coleman came over to the table. "What will it be Doc Cutie? Tequila?"

"Um, no – could I just have a gingerale?" she asked quietly. Coleman gave her a strange look.

"Sure thing darling."

"Coleman?" Liz said holding up her glass "I'll have more tequila"

"Coming right up."

Liz turned to Robin. "Why aren't you drinking? There is no way to cope with all this weirdness without a drink….or six."

Lainey looked up from her conversation with Cruz. "Yeah, Robin you can't abandon the sisters."

Robin met Kelly's eye and smiled. "Well actually I'll be abandoning you girls for a while."

"What?" Lainey asked.

Liz's eyes widened "You're not?"

Robin nodded, smiling "I'm pregnant"

Both Cruz and Milo pushed their chairs out of the way as the women all began to squeal and surround Robin. Looking for safer ground, they moved to the pool table.

"What's all that about?" Lucky asked "They find a shoe sale or something?"

Cruz snickered. "Robin just told them she's pregnant"

Patrick looked over at the scene and smiled. She was finally having a moment of pure joy and he was glad to see it.

"Wow – Patrick" Lucky said, slapping his shoulder "Congratulations"

"Yeah man" Cruz said extending his hand.

Patrick shifted. "Uh, well thanks but there's nothing to congratulate me over…"

"Oh sure there is – don't let that five seconds of hard work be overlooked – without you there is no baby."

Patrick rolled his eyes. "Actually, I'm not the father."

"Whaaat?" all three men exclaimed at once.

"You know that politician Robin was dating?" Cruz and Lucky shook their heads.

"Sure, the slick guy with the pec implants" Milo offered.

Patrick choked on his beer. "Pec implants?"

"You mean Harris right?" the shy bodyguard clarified "we looked into him and I found out he had pec implants a few years back"

Patrick started to laugh. "Milo my man" he grabbed his shoulder "you have just made my night."

Lucky stared at Patrick. "You know, speaking from experience, a father is the man who's there every day not necessarily the one in the bedroom. Congratulations just the same." The two men clinked bottles.

xoxoxoxo

"So how are you feeling?" Lainey asked.

"I'm okay – I'm actually thinking of getting that printed on a t-shirt" Robin teased.

"Morning sickness?" Liz asked.

"Yes and who is the idiot who came up with the term morning sickness when it happens all day long?"

"A man!" the women said together.

"And Patrick?" Lainey asked.

"Is great with everything. And he told me he loves me"

"Finally" Liz said knocking back a shot. "There are Broadway plays that have opened and closed in the time it has taken you two to announce your feelings" The women giggled.

"Did you get anything sorted with Bruce?" Kelly asked.

"We're working on it" she said simply.

"Well Milo is willing to 'take care' of him for you"

Lainey slapped Kelly. "You did not just air quote mob stuff"

"He works in the coffee business" she said indignantly. The women began to giggle again.

xoxoxoxo

Cruz and Milo looked back at the table. "Do you think it's safe to go back?" Cruz asked.

"I'm not sure – you're the cop – you go first"

"Me? You're the tough bodyguard – you go"

"What? No way besides Kelly will find me when she's ready."

Lucky and Patrick made whipping sounds behind them. "Hey now – where's the brotherhood?" Cruz asked.

"Cruz, do you like Lainey?"

"She's hot" he admitted.

"Then stop standing here and go talk to her" Lucky admonished.

"Fine. You coming?" he looked at Milo who shrugged his shoulders and followed. Patrick and Lucky returned to their game, playing for tequila shots.

xoxoxoxo

Lainey and Cruz were dancing and Kelly was sitting on Milo's lap. Liz and Robin talked about the hospital, pregnancy and their men. Lucky had hit a hot streak at the pool table and Patrick was now several tequila shots to the wind.

"BABY!" he called out to Robin.

Robin looked at Liz, slightly horrified and turned around slowly. "Yes?" she asked tentatively.

"I LOVES YOU!"

Robin's mouth fell open. She quickly grabbed her purse and stood up. "If you'll excuse me but I think it's time for my very cute but very drunk boyfriend to go home. Have a good night guys!"

"See you tomorrow Robin?" Kelly asked.

"Yup- 10 am right?"

"That's it – see you then"

Robin waved as she walked over to Patrick. He was leaning against the table and holding on to the pool cue. "Hi cutie" she said, taking the cue from his hand.

"I lost to Lucky"

"I can see that"

"He sucks – he plays like a girl – how did I lose?"

"Hey!" Lucky said, leaning against the second table. "Shtanding right here"

"Actually you're sitting" Robin corrected.

"Shemantics" he said.

Robin shook her head. "Why don't we get you home" she said, pulling Patrick up.

"You know what's a good thing about you being preggers" he said, throwing his arm around her shoulder.

"I'll have a baby at the end?"

"Beshides that. You can be the deshignated driver – for nine whole months!"

"Patrick, I live within walking distance of Jake's"

"No drinking and driving" he said.

"Yeah – at this point I'm not sure there should be drinking and speaking"

"I loves you" he repeated as they maneuvered their way out of the club.

"And I love you – let's go drunk boy"

With some effort, Robin managed to get him back to her apartment and out of his clothes and into bed. She climbed into bed beside him and groaned as he pulled her to him, sweaty and drunk.

xoxoxoxoxo

"Come on Patrick – we're going to be late" she said impatiently.

"They can't start without you Scorpio – I just need one more cup of coffee"

"And how is that hangover?"

"Shhh- too loud – use your inside voice."

"You don't have to come"

"I said I was coming, I'm coming"

"Seriously Patrick…"

"Shh – less talking, more coffee"

Robin rolled her eyes as she poured him another coffee while he lay head down on the dining table.

Finally finished his third cup, he tucked in his shirt and patted down his hair. "Okay let's go."

xoxoxoxo

As Robin lay out on the exam table, it was clear that Kelly was suffering from the same pain Patrick was. "Late night with Milo Kelly?"

"Shhh – too much talking" she said, squirting the gel on Robin's belly. Patrick held her hand and his own head.

"You both are a terrible sight" she said.

"You're not that attractive when you're smug" Patrick teased.

"So what will we see Kel?"

"Well, you're six weeks so we should see the heartbeat and the outline – he's still pretty tiny at this point. Ready?" she asked as she turned on the screen.

Robin gripped Patrick's hand, feeling butterflies in her stomach. "This is it – the first shot of the baby" Kelly ran the Doppler over Robin's belly until an image appeared on the screen. "Oh my" she said her voice thick with emotion "is that it?" Patrick found himself quite unable to speak.

"Hmmm" Kelly said, looking at the image more closely.

"What do you mean hmm? Kel – is something wrong?" the concern was evident in Robin's voice.

Kelly printed a picture of the ultrasound. "I'll be right back"

"Kelly" Patrick said, straightening up "Is something wrong?"

"Just give me a minute".

Robin and Patrick looked at each other as Kelly exited the room. Robin felt her heart beating out of her chest. "What do you think is wrong? Do you think the baby is sick?"

"One thing at a time Robin, let's just wait for her to come back" he said with a confidence he didn't feel.

Robin sat up and he sat behind her on the table, rubbing her shoulders. Both looked up expectantly as Kelly came back. Robin seized Patrick's hand.

"Kelly, please" Robin pleaded "what's wrong with my baby?"

"Well – there's nothing wrong."

"Then what?" Patrick asked.

"You're not six weeks, you're ten. You're further along than we thought."


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 51

Chapter 51

Robin swallowed. "Pardon?"

"I just measured the fetus and you are definitely further along than six weeks. Based on the visible development, I would put you at ten weeks."

The silence in the room was deafening. Neither Robin nor Patrick looked at each other, rather both just stared at Kelly. Robin cleared her throat.

"This means" she started slowly "that…" She stopped, unable to finish her sentence.

Patrick got off the table and standing up, leaned against the wall with his hand over his mouth. "Uh…Kelly?" he asked, his voice thick. "Are you sure?"

Kelly walked further into the room, her head pounding. "Nothing is exact in this field. Conception can always be off by a bit but I'm telling you that based on that ultrasound, there is no way that Robin is only at six weeks. Just to make sure I had Dr. Giles take a look at it and he agrees. It's ten weeks."

Robin sat up and looked at Patrick, her mouth hanging open. "Patrick?"

Pulled from his fog he looked at her. "I, uh, I think I need to sit down" he pulled a stool over to him and sank to it with shaking knees. He inhaled deeply and blew out his cheeks. Looking up at Robin, he was afraid to believe what Kelly was telling them.

"Robin?"

She nodded her head slowly. "10 weeks….it's just before we broke up the night of Justus' funeral."

"That's….." he shook the cobwebs from his head and pointed to her belly "that's our baby?"

"Yeah" she said hoarsely. "Our baby."

Patrick stared at her. "Our baby…I'm ….I'm going to be a father?"

"You're going to be a father" she repeated slowly.

Patrick blinked several times as his eyes filled with tears. Springing from his chair, he grabbed Robin's face and brought his mouth crashing down on hers, practically bruising their lips in the process. He kissed her, pressing his lips against hers until neither had any breath left.

Pulling back, breathless he wiped at the tears flowing from her eyes. "Robin" he said with ragged breath. "We're going to have a baby – you and me – are going to have a baby."

Robin began to giggle. "We are having a baby"

Patrick pulled her of the exam table and into his arms and began to swing her around the room "Yaaahooo!" he yelled.

"Patrick…um…swinging not so good"

"Oh sorry" he said, gently putting her back on the table. "I'm sorry - are you going to be sick?"

She shook her head smiling. "I'm okay – because we're having a baby."

Taking her face in his hands again, he tenderly kissed her cheeks, her eyes and her forehead before moving to her mouth. Tenderly taking her lips with his, he tried to transfer his complete happiness to her.

Kelly cleared her throat. "Uh guys?" Both looked up sheepishly having forgotten that Kelly was in the room. "I don't want to put a damper on things but Patrick….you'll need to be tested for HIV"

Patrick nodded. "That's fine – could you draw the blood?" Robin squeezed Patrick's hand and opened her mouth to speak but Patrick cut her off.

"No – don't you dare" he said huskily "I don't want to hear worry or apologies or anything. My exposure is so minimal and I'll do whatever needs to be done but all that matters here is that you and are going to have a baby."

"But it's too late for you to start PEP…" she began.

"Robin – don't. We will take whatever comes at us – you, me and baby Scorpio/Drake"

"Patrick, if you….if I…." Robin's eyes filled with tears.

He pulled her into his arms. "Let's not borrow trouble just yet okay? I'll get tested and we'll go from there. Don't stress – it's not good for our baby" he said, unable to stop smiling as he said 'our baby'

Sitting down on the stool, he rolled up his sleeve and let Kelly draw the blood. Robin kept hold of his hand, unwilling to let go.

She saw a change in him immediately. He seemed bigger, taller – he took up more space. She had never been so torn between two divergent emotions before – pure joy that Patrick was the father and abject fear that she may have infected him. He smiled at her as Kelly took the blood.

"I'll put a rush on this and see if we can't get your results in a few hours."

"Thanks Kelly" Patrick said, not looking away from Robin.

"And you guys might want this" she said handing them the ultrasound photo before leaving the room.

Robin took it and gazed at it. She traced the outline of the baby with her finger. She held it up to Patrick. "Look – our baby" she whispered.

Patrick thought his heart was going to jump from his chest. He had made peace with the idea that he was not the biological father of Robin's baby but would be a father nonetheless. He had come to love the child growing in her womb more every day. But he had always held a little back as the specter of Bruce hung over them. Now he was free to love them both without restraint. He held out his hand and gently tugged Robin from the exam table onto his lap. He closed his hand over hers as they stared at the image. He nuzzled her neck, nipping at her earlobe.

"I love you" he said softly, putting his hand over her belly. "I love you both." Robin buried her head in his shoulder and began to cry. "Robin? What's wrong?"

"I…" she sniffed "It's just that you have no idea how much I wanted this to be your baby and now that it is I'm just so overwhelmed."

He kissed the side of her head. "I know. But we're in it together and can be overwhelmed together."

"You might be…."

"I know but we're not going to worry about that unless we have something to worry about."

Robin straightened up. "I need to tell Bruce and we should tell your father and my father and Uncle Mac. God at this rate we should seriously contemplate sky writing."

Patrick laughed. "There will be plenty of time to tell people including assface…" Robin gave him a shocked look. "Don't give me that look. I was willing to be moderately respectful while he was the father of your child but now the gloves are off." She giggled. "Anyway – there's plenty of time to tell the others and worry about test results but right now, I just want you and I to live in this moment ….with our baby."

Sliding her from his lap, he took her by the hand and headed to the door.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Home. I plan on spending the rest of the day showing you how much I love you."


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter 52

"Patrick, put me down" she said as he pushed the door open with his foot. "You can't carry me everywhere."

"Why not?" he asked, kicking the door closed behind him.

"Because I'm not an invalid?" she offered.

"Fine. I'll put you down in a minute" he said, walking to the couch and gently lowering her onto it. He hovered over her and brushed his lips against hers. "I don't have the words…." His voice trailed off.

"Neither do I" she said, threading her fingers through his hair.

He lay down beside her on the couch, running the back of his hand over her face. "I never knew I could feel like this" he said thickly.

Robin undid the first few buttons on his shirt and ran her hands over his chest. "I'm still worried" she said softly.

He kissed the end of her nose. "I know"

"Aren't you?"

"A little" he agreed "but worrying will change nothing." He pushed her hair from her face. "I'm just so in love with you"

She smiled and pushing in against him, catching his lips with hers. Everything about her suddenly felt different. Her feather-like kisses knocked the breath out of him. She tasted differently – emotionally, there was just more of her. He ran his hands down her back trying to touch as much of her as he could. His entire being was hypersensitive and every time she touched him it was like electric shocks going through his body.

He kept his mouth over hers as he expertly undid the buttons on her blouse. Sliding it from her shoulders, he buried his face between her breasts. He left a trail of kisses over to one breast, kissing it through the material of her lacy bra. Lifting his fingers, he pulled it over her breasts and closed his mouth over her nipple. A soft moan escaped her lips as she continued to run her hands through his hair. Moving to the other breast and doing the same thing, he kneaded the one he had just left, heightening the sensation for her. Reaching behind her he undid the clasp of her bra, taking the bra and blouse from her all at once.

Kneeling up, he took his own shirt off as she grabbed hold of his belt buckle. He slowly ran his hands over her body as if touching her for the first time. Robin lay back, surrendering to him, never taking her eyes off of him. Patrick undid the side zipper of her skirt and pulled it from her hips. Spreading her legs slightly, she gave him a feline smile as her hands went to her breasts as she massaged them. He swallowed thickly. "Oh god Robin."

Leaning back down, he traced his fingers along her inner thighs, brushing his knuckles against her apex. She twitched slightly at his touch. Lowering his head, he kissed the outline of her panties before opening his mouth hotly over her centre. Robin shuddered as she felt his breath on her. He slowly kissed his way up, stopping at her stomach. He paused and ran his hand over it. He dropped a kiss in the centre of her stomach and whispered "Hi baby" before continuing on his way. Tracing circles on her neck with his tongue, he heard her gasp as he slipped a finger inside her panties.

Her fingers raked against his skin as she moved them to his zipper. Reaching inside she took hold of him and began to slowly stroke him. "God Robin" he exhaled "you feel so amazing"

"So do you Doctor Hottie" she teased.

Robin undulated against his hand when he slipped a second finger inside. Patrick tried to concentrate on her but found it difficult as she continued to stroke him, running her thumb over his tip. Unable to withstand much more, he pulled her panties down her legs and moved away from her hand. Standing up, he retrieved a condom from his wallet and then dropped his pants. He sheathed himself and lowered himself back down over her. He entered her slowly, gently and began to thrust in an unhurried pace. Normally sex between them was an urgent and passionate affair but they were in no rush as their hands and mouths continued to explore each other's bodies.

He felt Robin begin to tense around him as his own breathing became more ragged. He pulled her closer to him, pushed deeper into her, trying to truly make them one body. She twitched and shivered before being overcome by the intensity of her orgasm. She dug her fingers into his shoulders in an effort to brace herself. It was his undoing. Climaxing almost immediately, the aftershocks left him breathless.

They lay wrapped up in each on the couch for a long time – neither willing to break the spell by moving.

Eventually, Patrick untangled himself from Robin, who was dozing and got up. Pulling on his boxers, he fished his cell phone from his pocket and headed to the kitchen. Finding the yellow pages, he looked up the number and dialed it.

"Yes, I'd like to get a ticket to Manhattan leaving and returning tomorrow please."

He gave his credit card number and scribbled down the confirmation number. He had just hung up when he felt Robin's arms snake around his waist.

"Who are you talking to?" she asked dreamily.

"I bought a plane ticket" he kissed the top of her head.

"Where are you going?" she looked up at him.

"To Manhattan."

"What? Why….no - Patrick"

"Don't Patrick me. I'm going to Manhattan tomorrow to tell donkey boy that he is not to involved in your life anymore."

"You can't do that. I should be the one to tell him" she said reasonably.

"Why? So he can spew more hate at you? Not a chance. I'm not letting him anywhere near you. Besides, he seems a little hard in the head and I think I can clarify things for him in a way you can't."

Robin smiled. "Is this where the tricks up your sleeve come in to play?"

"Exactly. Now I have a few more tricks for you – what do you say I show you?" he asked scooping her up in his arms.

"Again with the carrying!" she jokingly whined.

"Shut up and kiss me you ungrateful girl!" Patrick teased.

True to Patrick's word, they spent the rest of the day in bed, alternately napping, eating or getting lost in each other. They were both asleep when his cell phone rang. Blindly reaching for it, Patrick knocked a lamp to the ground in the process.

"Drake" he said groggily.

"Patrick, it's Kelly"

"Hey" he said, stroking Robin's hair as she shifted against his chest.

"I just wanted to let you know that the lab put a rush on things and your first test came back negative."

Patrick exhaled. "That's great news Kel, thanks."

"You will have to be tested twice more just to make sure. I'm going to transfer your file to Alan if that's okay?"

"That's fine. Thanks for this and for …you know…this morning."

"I'm so pleased for both of you. Talk to you soon."

Robin lifted her head as he flipped his phone closed. "That was Kelly?" she asked as she wiped the sleep from her eyes.

"Yup. My first test is back and I'm negative" He watched as cautious relief crossed Robin's face.

"Oh Patrick" she said, unable to say more.

"As you know I need to be tested twice more but this is a good start." She nodded against his chest. "Whatever happens Robin, we're going to be fine."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Robin tried twice more the next morning to talk him out of his trip to Manhattan, suggesting they just call Bruce but Patrick would have none of it. He insisted that Bruce needed to understand in no uncertain terms that Patrick was the father and that his relationship with Robin was over. He also insisted that he was the only person who could provide him with the 'no uncertain terms'.

"Robin, I speak 'guy'. You don't."

"You're saying there's a secret language of boys?" she asked watching as he tucked his black shirt into his black pants.

"Exactly. There's a shorthand that we have."

"Does this shorthand involve throwing punches?"

Patrick leaned over the bed and kissed her. "I'm a lover not a fighter or do I need to prove that all over again?" he asked wiggling his eyebrows.

"Uh, I think I got the message after five times last night" she giggled.

"Well if you need a refresher, let me know."

"Is there any reason why you are dressed in all black like a ninja?"

"I'm afraid if I wear a pink shirt or a sweater vest he may not take me seriously."

"Fine."

"I'll see you tonight" he said as he headed out the bedroom.

"Patrick?" she called to him.

"Yeah?"

"Be careful. I need you….we need you."

His entire face softened as he looked at her. "I will be. You just rest, have something to eat and I'll be back before you know it."

xoxoxoxo

Patrick stood outside Bruce's suite waiting for an answer. The door finally opened and a young woman that he recognized from the last time Bruce had had his entourage at the hospital stood in the doorway.

"Yes?" she asked impatiently.

"I'm Dr. Patrick Drake and I'm here to see Bruce"

"Mr. Harris is very busy. If you don't have an appointment, you'll have to come back another day."

Patrick was undeterred. "Tell him it's about Robin and the baby."

"Come in" she sighed. She showed Patrick to a waiting area and left him to cool his heels for almost half an hour before she came back.

"He can see you now." Patrick followed her in to the inner meeting room.

"Patrick" Bruce said without getting up from his chair. "Do what do I owe this distinct displeasure?"

"It's about Robin"

"Is she okay?" he was somewhat disinterested.

"She's fine. We had an ultrasound yesterday and it revealed that the baby is further along than we initially thought. She's actually ten weeks pregnant which means that it's impossible for you to be the father."

"Is that so?" he said evenly.

"It is. So I'm here to tell you to stay away from Robin –you have no reason to contact her."

"That's awfully convenient. The minute I express an interest in being part of my child's life, Robin is suddenly further along that people realized. Interesting. I'm not sure I believe it."

"I don't actually care what you believe. I'm just telling you to stay away from my girlfriend and my child."

Bruce stood up. "I want a paternity test. I think this is bullshit."

Patrick stepped closer to him. "You can think what you want. I'm not going to debate this with you. This is my family and you will stay away."

"Or what?" he asked incredulously "You're going to hit me again?"

Patrick glared at him. "I don't need to hit you. The resources at my disposal to bring a world of hurt to you are limitless. So be a good little snake and slither away" Not giving Bruce a chance to respond, he turned on his heel and left.

Bruce watched as he Patrick strode out of his office.

"Krista!!" he bellowed. The young woman came running.

"Yes Mr. Harris?"

"Get my lawyer on the phone and tell him to get his ass over here."


	53. Chapter 53

Chapter 53

Patrick impatiently bounced his legs up and down sitting in the airport lounge. He was on standby for the first flight back to Port Charles and was tired of waiting. He had called Robin twice to check on her resulting in a warning of a sex freeze if he called a third time. He absently flipped his phone opened and closed resulting in a few withering looks from other people in the lounge.

Standing up, he walked to a quiet room and closed the door behind him. Needing to do something to pass the time, he dialed Nathalie's number.

"Hello? … Gracie put that down! I said! Put.that.down." Patrick smiled as he listened, thinking it a preview of things to come. "Sorry about that. Hello?"

"Hey Nat, it's Patrick."

"Oh Patrick" she sighed. "Gracie has a new fascination with knives and though I have them out of her reach, I turned my back for 30 seconds and she was climbing on a chair to pull them off the top of the fridge."

"Sounds like you have your hands full."

"How much do you think I'd get for her on ebay? I have my eye on this great Louis Vuitton bag" Patrick laughed. "You think I'm kidding don't you? Just you wait mister."

"I can't wait. Nathalie, it's my baby."

"That's great that you're thinking like that Patrick – that's all that matters."

"No Nat, we had an ultrasound and Robin is further along that we originally thought. I'm actually the father."

There was a long pause and Patrick checked his phone to make sure they were still connected. "That's wonderful news Patrick. I am so pleased for you" she enthused.

"Nathalie, is everything okay?"

"It's fine. You must be over the moon."

"I am but not so far over that I can't tell something is wrong."

"Nothing's wrong" she said quickly. "So tell me, how do you feel?"

"God Nathalie, I never thought anything could feel like this. You know me, I'm not an effusive person but it's like I'm seeing new colours or something."

"Oh lordy, we've lost him. Patrick Drake is officially a romantic" she teased.

"Funny girl. I'm sure it's just a phase and it will pass but for now…did I mention I'm going to be a father?"

Nathalie laughed lightly. "You may have mentioned that. Patty, you're going to be a great dad. Robin is one very lucky woman."

"I'm the lucky one" he said quietly.

"Have you guys talked marriage or anything?"

"Not yet. I ..uh…I'm still coping with the fatherhood thing. And truthfully, I think things kind of work the way they are. I mean we need to move in together but other than that – it's working."

"How is Robin feeling… Gracie honest to god, if you do not sit still and do as you're told, I'm selling you to gypsies!" Patrick flinched as he picked up on the edge to Nathalie's voice.

"Nat?"

"Yeah, sorry. How is Robin feeling?"

"She's doing all right. Still quite a bit of morning sickness but…"

"That's it Gracie! I've had it. Get upstairs to your room RIGHT NOW! You are in a time out!"

There was a long pause and Patrick could hear Grace whine and cry as she stomped out of the room.

"Nathalie, seriously, are thing okay?"

She let out a huge sigh. "It's entirely possible I'm not coping all that well at the moment."

"What's wrong?" he asked softly.

"Can't sleep, can't eat. The kids are making me mental. I went back to work and they sent me home after I sent a copy of our strategy to opposing counsel."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah well, apparently there are like 29 stages to grief and I'm stuck at 1 or is it 2?" she tried to joke.

"What can I do?"

"Can you bring Andrew back?" she asked bitterly.

"No"

"Then there's nothing you can do."

He felt her pain acutely. The euphoria of discovering that he was a father had pushed the ever-present pain of Andrew's death to the side but it was never far from reach and still had the capacity to stop his heart.

"Come for a visit" he offered.

"What? No. I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because – I don't know – the kids and who wants the bitter widow around?"

"I do. Look Nathalie, you've been so good to me and Andrew was my best friend in the whole world – if I can't be a safe place for you guys to come to then I've failed him." Nathalie said nothing but Patrick heard her sniffle and could tell that she was crying. "Nat – why didn't you call me and tell me it was so bad?"

"I don't know" she said quietly "the funeral is over and everyone has moved on so the moment is over."

Patrick exhaled. "I haven't" he said.

"Haven't what?"

"I haven't moved on. I miss him so much Nat and I still can't believe that he's gone. Come for a visit. I'm moving into a new place early next week, there's tons of room for you and the kids. You can hang out with Robin too – you'll love her."

"I'll be raining on your happy parade"

"No you won't. Besides don't you think I need as much practicing of my parenting skills as I can get? Your children are good victims" he teased.

Nathalie laughed in spite of herself. "You know P there's a large part of that is terrified you're about to be a parent. I feel like you should be wearing a safety vest or something."

"Excellent then you can come and spend time and lecture me on all the things I need to know to be a parent."

"Fine – we'll come up at the end of next week."

"Good. Nat – you have to promise you'll call if you're feeling low."

"Did it hurt?"

"What?"

"All this personal growth you've been going through?"

"Shark"

"Quack"

"I love you Nat, take care and kiss the kids for me."

"I will….and Patty?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really happy for you. Drew would be out of his mind with joy if he were here"

"Thanks" he said thickly. "I'll see you next week."

xoxoxoxo

"You didn't seriously tell him you would withhold sex did you?" Brenda asked.

"Of course I did. Two times Brenda – he called twice in the space of an hour"

"He's worried about you – it's cute"

"It's not cute, it's annoying. I'm not made of glass you know."

"God you're impossible. First you're mad at him because he wasn't calling and now you're mad at him because he does call – is therapy really out of the question?"

"You're hysterical" Robin said dryly. "I'm pregnant, you know."

"So what was your excuse before?"

"Why do I keep you around?"

"Because I make you look normal and well adjusted" Brenda retorted.

"Ah yes, I knew there was something."

"So dish – how do you really feel about him being the father?"

"I can't explain it Bren – it's like everything is working out how it's supposed to. I mean I know we're still kind of new in a relationship but this just feels right."

"Are you worried about the HIV exposure?"

"I'm terrified" she said quietly. "I have no idea what I'll do if he tests positive – it would be devastating. To know that I brought this monstrous disease to him…." Her voice trailed off.

"But you say he's not worried?"

"No – he's being ridiculously well adjusted and calm about it all."

"Then follow his lead Robs. You need to take care of my godchild and yourself. Concentrate on that."

Robin smiled into the receiver. "Godchild? Feeling rather confident are you?"

"Oh please. Like you have better options"

"I could – Port Charles has changed a lot since you lived here."

"Is Sonny still running his coffee business?"

"Yes"

"Is Carly still crazy?"

"Yes"

"Then really it hasn't changed all that much. So how hot is your boyfriend when he's all macho and cave man like?"

"Pretty hot" Robin admitted "I would never tell him but god- Brenda – you should see what it does to me"

"Eww – this could be a moment of oversharing."  
"Oversharing? This comes for you?"

"Point taken"

"I'm going to be okay, right?"

"Okay? What do you mean?" Brenda asked in confusion.

"Being a mom. Do you think I'll be any good at it?" she asked quietly.

"Don't you?"

"I don't know – I'm so overwhelmed. It just seems so ….it's a child Brenda – I'm going to be responsible for another human being" she said worriedly.

"Then you'll be perfect"

Robin giggled. "I think you're biased."

"I'm not. Hear me out. For as long as I've known you Robin you've been taking care of other people. Maxie, Georgie, Sonny, Stone, Jason, me. You have been responsible for us in so many ways – this baby thing is going to be old hat." Robin was quiet on the other end of the phone. "Robin, are you crying?"

"Maybe"

"Are those hormones going to even out any time soon or do I need to send you waterproof mascara?"

"I'm hoping soon" she snickered "because most days I'm a mess. When do I become the glowing earth mother?"

"I gotta run mamacita – I'll talk to you soon."

"Love you Brenda"

"You too sis."

xoxoxoxo

Robin settled into the couch and was reviewing some work she brought home when she heard Patrick's key in the door. She jumped from the couch and launched herself at him before he was even through the door.

"You're home!" she said kissing his lips.

"A guy could get used to greetings like this" he said, dropping his bag and pulling her closer to him. He seized her lips and gently coaxed them apart, sliding his tongue into her mouth. She greedily accepted it and began to suck on it. Patrick quickly wondered if he would ever get tired of kissing her like this.

"How did it go?" she asked when they finally parted.

"I think we came to an understanding"

"Did you punch him?" she asked, examining his hands.

"Not a single punch was thrown" he said, kissing her forehead.

"I ordered a pizza – it should be here any minute." Patrick leaned to kiss her again when they heard the knock at the door. "Perfect timing" she said, opening the door.

"Dr. Robin Scorpio?"

"Yes?"

"This is for you" the man said, passing her an envelope.

Robin looked at it quizzically. "Not pizza?" Patrick asked as she opened the envelope. He noticed Robin's face pale as she read the contents of the letter. "Robin, what is it?"

"It's from Bruce – he's trying to force me to take a paternity test." She looked up at him. "I don't think you guys came to much of an understanding at all."


	54. Chapter 54

Chapter 54

"He's what?" Patrick exclaimed, taking the papers from Robin's hand. The muscle in his cheek began to twitch as he read, the only sign betraying his anger. "Fine. We'll give him a paternity test and he can fuck off" he said, throwing the document on to the table.

"We can't" Robin said, trying to hide her disappointment.

"What do you mean we can't?" he took her hand and led her to the couch.

"The only way to determine paternity in utero is through an amnio and that is just not a possibility with HIV. The risk of the exposure for the baby is too high, not to mention the miscarriage risk from an amnio is higher than what I'm comfortable with."

Patrick sighed. "Do you have Sonny's number?"

Robin arched an eyebrow. "Why?"

"I think it's time to call in a favour and have Sonny do what he does best."

"Stop it" Robin said in frustration "Jokes like that don't help"

"Who's joking Robin? I'm serious. I've never wanted to kill a man before but he's pushing my limits."

She stood up suddenly. "I will NOT have talk of killing or any type of violence. There is just no way for you to understand how abhorrent that is for me. Not in my name, not in the name of my child – just get off it!!"

"Our child" he said quietly.

"What?" she asked impatiently.

"Our child – you said your child – it's our child Robin and I'm entitled to want to protect you – both of you."

Robin's face softened somewhat. "Of course it's our baby and I love that you want to protect us but what you've just suggested makes you no better than him."

Patrick's mouth fell open slightly and was about to retort but decided to let it pass. "So what do you suggest then?"

"We need a lawyer and we'll fight him on it. I'm not submitting to a test in utero and there is no way a judge will make me."

"You're pretty confident of that."

"Patrick, people hate HIV and if there is a remote possibility that this test could pass the disease from me to the baby then everyone will back off. No one wants to be the one responsible for making a baby HIV+"

Patrick stood up and wrapped his arms around Robin. "I'm sorry" he said into her hair. "I don't want to upset you. It just….I'm just afraid he is going to dog us for the entire pregnancy."

Robin tightened her grip around Patrick. "We'll go see Ric Lansing tomorrow and find out what our options are. I guess this just isn't going to be easy."

"Then let's make a deal"

"What's that?"

"Let's leave the crap – the Bruce stuff, people's opinions, anything negative, outside. When we're together, in here let's just be happy"

"Deal" Robin muttered into his chest. They stood there, holding onto each other until interrupted by a knock at the door.

"If that's another process server, I'm going to make him go buy us a pizza first" Patrick joked as he opened the door. He retrieved his wallet from his pocket and paid the delivery guy.

"Let's eat" he said as he closed the door.

They sat on the floor, leaning up against the couch, eating their pizza. "Can I ask you something?" his voice was quiet.

"Anything"

"How long did you grieve Stone's death?"

Robin looked up at him in surprise. "Why do you ask?"

"I spoke to Nathalie today. I told her the news and she's thrilled but it was clear while we were talking that she wasn't doing well. She was yelling at Gracie, she was distracted and edgy. I've invited her to come and see me next week."

Robin nodded and took a drink of water. "Actively I grieved for years. I think when someone really important to you dies, there's a part of you – I don't know if it's in your heart or your soul – but there's a part of you that becomes frozen in time to that moment. There is a part of me that will always be a devastate 17 year old." Patrick watched her face with a mixture of curiosity and awe. "Don't you think there's a part of you that is stuck as the 17 year old you were when your mom died?"

He inhaled. "I don't know. I mean I still have days where thinking about her hurts."

Robin took his hand, lacing her fingers through his one by one. "We never really talk about your mom, you know."

He shrugged. "What's to talk about? She's dead."

"Patrick" Robin turned to face him. "Don't you think I've figured out one of the reasons you don't like to get attached is because of your mom's death? That between her dying and Noah taking off, you think everyone is going to leave you? And now with Andrew's death you feel like it's all happening again."

He stared wordlessly at her, shocked that she could see through his so well. To a certain extent he didn't know why he was shocked, she had seen through him from their first meeting. She had appealed to his ego to get him to take Jason's case and it had worked.

"I was talking about Nathalie" he said in a quiet attempt to change the subject.

"We can talk about Nathalie later – let's talk about you."

"I don't like to talk about me" he said, suddenly very interested in his pizza slice.

"On the contrary" she teased "when we first met the only thing you were capable of talking about was yourself"

Patrick smiled sheepishly. "I was trying to get you to go out with me"

"I had noticed" she smiled. "But let's talk about you a little bit."

"Robin, I'm a man, I don't do touchy feely."

"Oh I have been a recipient of your touchy feely and you do it quite well" she joked.

"I'd rather do that than talk"

"I know but Patrick, we're going to be parents together and we need to be able to talk because regardless of what happens between us, we are always going to be bonded by this child" her hand went protectively to her stomach.

"What do you mean regardless of what happens to us – are you going somewhere?" he did a poor job of concealing the anxiety in his voice.

Robin looked at him curiously. "I'm not going anywhere but we don't have a commitment Patrick – if anything, we've just started to date except we're having a baby. Who knows, after a while we may find out that we are better off as friends"

He stared at her intently. "We will never, and I mean never be better off as friends. I don't know how to explain Robin because I've never done this thing before but I'm in love with you – how we confirm that for other people – like with a wedding or something, I don't know yet – but for the first time I want to build a life not an existence. And I want you, I need you to be part of that life."

Robin lifted his hand and kissed it. "I love you" she said quietly.

"I love you too."

She took a long drink of water. "Do you think you'd be very different if your mom had survived the surgery?"

Patrick chewed on his bottom lip as he thought about her question. "I think I'd be nicer."

"You're pretty nice"

"No- I mean I can be but everything was easier when she was alive. You know that night on the roof, the night that Sam was shot and you talked about wanting to feel safe?" Robin nodded. "I never experienced violence the way you have – my life has never truly been in danger but when my mom died I felt like I had just been turned out into the world with a kick in the ass. My father was unreachable and other than Andrew I had no one I could count on. It was easier to be brash and rude and uncaring. Nothing could reach me and so I never worried about having to feel like that again."

Robin tightened her grip around his hand and took a deep breath. "Are you worried that by letting yourself love me that you'll feel like that again when I die?"

Patrick gasped as she finished her question. Inexplicably bile began to rise in his throat. "Robin – you can live for a very, very long time."

"We think so but Patrick, there's still no cure for what I have – there's no surgery – it's not like correcting an AVM. One day the medication will stop working and I will get sick. And then what does that mean for you and our child?"

He wiped his hand over his face. "Don't talk like that"

"We have to – we need to be honest here. There very well may come a day when me having HIV means more to you than buying the right condoms"

Patrick turned to face her and took both her hands in his. "Robin, that day is already here. It arrived a long time ago." She gave him a look of surprise. "During the encephalitis outbreak, we could barely stand each other and I was still scared for you."

She smiled shyly. "I remember, you tried to push me onto an elevator."

"That day in the locker room where you spiked a fever – I stopped breathing for a minute. And as your condition deteriorated, I felt panicked that I didn't have a cure for you, that I couldn't get more of the antidote." He exhaled, looking at the floor. "There's a small part of me that worries about you every day. I know I gave you a hard time about being a coward and hiding behind your HIV" he looked up at her "but a lot of that was because I wanted you to see what I saw"

"What did you see?" her voice barely above a whisper.

"I saw this beautiful, sexy, smart woman with a ton to offer and who could be a lot of fun, if only you let yourself. Your HIV didn't scare me from pursuing you" he swallowed "but it does scare me that it could take you before I'm ready for you to go."

Robin crawled towards him and climbed into his lap. She snaked her hand around his neck and played with his hair. "I don't want to go anytime soon" she said softly.

He bussed her lips. "Good. Because baby Scorpio/Drake and I need you." He gently kissed her lips again. "You're the first person I've allowed myself to need in a very long time. It scares me that I need you."

Robin smiled. "I need you too Patrick. I never thought that I would have love again. In fact I was sure I wouldn't so you are quite the surprise in my perfectly laid plans."

He nuzzled her neck and put his hand over hers on her stomach. "I think we both found what we were looking for"

"What's that?"

"Family."


	55. Chapter 55

Chapter 55

Chapter 55

"Robin! This is a nice surprise" Ric said, ushering her and Patrick into his office.

"I wish it were under better circumstances" she said as she took a seat. Patrick reached for her hand.

"What can I do for you?"

Robin handed the documents to him. "Bruce Harris is trying to force me to take a paternity test."

"Wait" he asked in surprise "you're pregnant?"

Robin smiled. "Almost 11 weeks."

Ric bounded from his chair and coming around the desk, pulled her into a hug. "I am SO pleased for you. That's great news!"

"Thanks."

"She didn't do it alone" Patrick said jokingly.

"Ah, yeah – congratulations Patrick" Ric said offering him his hand. "So if Patrick's the father then why is Bruce Harris demanding a paternity test?"

Robin felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment. There was something humiliating to her about there being some question as to who the father of her child was.

"When I first discovered I was pregnant we pegged the date of conception at five weeks which would have made him the father. I alerted him and advised him of the need for HIV testing."

"Something has changed?"

"I had an ultrasound…"

"We" Patrick interjected.

Robin smiled. "We had an ultrasound a few days ago and Dr. Lee says based the development of the fetus, I'm actually closer to 11 weeks which means Patrick is the father."

"If you're confident about paternity, why the objection?" he asked.

"Why should she have to justify anything?" Patrick snapped.

"Just playing devil's advocate Patrick" Ric said calmly "In order to answer his suit I need to have all the information."

Robin gave Patrick's hand a reassuring squeeze. "I don't actually have an objection to a paternity test Ric but I can't do one in utero. It would expose the baby to HIV and the risk for miscarriage is relatively high."

"But once you give birth?"

"Take all the blood you want. This child is Patrick's. I always felt in my heart and now I know it to be true."

Patrick looked sideways at her, smiling.

"Okay. Let me do a little research. I'll call his attorney and see what we can work out. I'm sure this can be negotiated."

"I'm not" Patrick grumbled. Both Robin and Ric looked at him. "What? If he was interested in negotiating this, he would have called you rather than put his lawyer on it. This is a publicity stunt on his part and I really don't think that he's open to discuss this."

"Point taken" Ric said. "Let me do some digging and I'll see if I can't get us an early court date and get this resolved once and for all. We may need Dr. Lee to testify."

"I'm sure she'll do it" Robin asserted. "Ric, I can't tell you how grateful I am that you're agreeing to take this on."

"Robin, after everything you did for Molly and Alexis, how could I not?"

Patrick gave Robin a look, which she ignored. "What did you do for Molly and Alexis" he asked curiously.

"Nothing" Robin demurred.

"Nothing?" Ric said in amusement "Sure if you call delivering my daughter by c-section post a train crash with nothing more than a stick of gum and a shoelace nothing."

"I had a knife, whiskey and some light" Robin said defensively.

Patrick turned to look at her with a mixture of awe and respect. "You? You did this?"

"Yes" she said shyly "It was when Manny Ruiz caused the train crash and Alexis went into labour"

"How did I not know this?" he asked shaking his head.

"Because, Patrick, your girlfriend is ridiculously modest."

"I'm beginning to see that" he said grinning.

"I'll be in touch shortly" Ric said standing up, offering his hand. Both shook it.

"Thanks again Ric" Robin said as they left.

Patrick took her hand as they left the office. "I'm beginning to think you should have Adventure Girl tattooed on your body."

"What makes you think I don't?" she teased.

He leaned in and whispered against her ear. "Because I have been over every part of your body and there are no tattoos there"

"Maybe you haven't looked hard enough" she teased.

"Is that a dare Dr. Scorpio?" Robin smiled seductively at him. "Don't do that! Or I'm taking you home right now."

"You can't – we have a lunch date at the MetroCourt"

"We can be late" he said as he ran his hand over her behind.

"We really can't"

"You're no fun when you're being a grown up" he pouted.

"Well one of us has to be"

xxxxxxxxxxx

By the time they arrived at the MetroCourt, Robert, Noah and Mac were already sitting at the table.

"Did you need to stop off for a quickie or something?" Robert said.

"Oh god, my ears" Mac said. "Not to mention my eyes. Thanks for the visual Robert" Noah smiled as he took a sip of his soda water.

"Gentlemen" Patrick said taking a seat. Robin couldn't stop from smiling as she sat down.

"So what's the big occasion?" Robert asked, eyeing them suspiciously.

"We have news" Robin said beaming.

"Oh?" Noah said, raising his eyebrows.

"Well, we would like to tell you that all three of you are going to be grandfathers"

"Yes, yes we know" Mac said impatiently.

"Actually you don't" Patrick interjected. "We had an ultrasound and it shows the baby is further along than we thought"

Patrick and Robin waited as realization dawned on all three men.

"You mean…" Noah started

"You got my daughter pregnant?!" Robert exclaimed

"Well, uh," Patrick said, finding his throat constricting.

"I really am going to be a grandfather?" Noah asked.

Robin reached over and took his hand. "Yes, Noah, you are."

"You really got her pregnant?" Mac said, accusingly to Patrick.

"Got her pregnant seems to be such a harsh way of saying things" Patrick said, shifting closer to Robin.

Noah reached out and squeezed his shoulder. "I'm so proud of you" he said softly.

"And you're happy with this?" Robert asked Robin.

"I'm thrilled. Dad – it's great news – really."

"So does that mean that waste of space Harris is out of the picture?" Mac asked.

"Well…." Robin started, tired of having to speak about him at all.

"He's not going quietly" Patrick finished for her.

"We could make him" Robert offered.

"No that's okay Robert, we have our lawyer working on it."

"Hrmph" Robert said crossing his arms across his chest. "My way is more effective"

"And not what I want" Robin said quickly.

"Fine" Robert said, pouting slightly. "But I swear Robin…"

"Yes yes, hate him with the fury of a thousand suns. I get it."

"It's because we love you" Mac said.

"I love you too Robin but I won't offer to kill anyone for you" Noah said, trying to lighten the mood.

"You are now my new favourite person Noah" she smiled.

Patrick playfully smacked his arm. "Hello – sitting right here"

"Sorry, I meant my favourite person AFTER Patrick"

"Well I think this calls for a toast" Mac said, signaling for the waiter. Robert, Mac and Patrick each had a glass of champagne and Noah and Robin had gingerale. Mac raised his glass.

"To Robin, Patrick and the next generation – may your child be healthy and safe and grow to be as special and talented as you both are."

Robin and Patrick looked lovingly at each other as they clinked glasses with each other and then their guests.

xxxxxxxx

Robin rolled her eyes as she lay in bed and Patrick pushed her tank top out of the way to rub her belly. "I'm getting fat" she said as he ran his hand over her stomach.

"Not fat - perfect." He dropped a kiss on her stomach.

"Are you planning on doing this for the rest of the pregnancy?"

"Maybe" he said kissing it again.

"When did you become so goofy?" she asked as she ran her hands through his hair.

"I caught it from you. Falling in love has definitely impacted my cool factor" he lifted his head and pressed his lips against hers. "I have a question for you"

"Yes" she replied as gently nipped at his bottom lip.

"When does the superhorny phase of your pregnancy start?"

Robin giggled. "Superhorny?"

"I saw Friends – Phoebe had a cut out of Evander Holyfield"

"I don't know – maybe you can jump start it with a few of your patented Drake moves" she teased.

"Patented Drake moves? You mean like this?" he said lowering his head to her breasts, pulling at her nipple through the fabric.

Robin moaned. "Like that" she arched into him.

Patrick moved to the other side but was distracted by the shrill ring of Robin's cell phone.

Groaning, she reached for the phone and flipped it open. "Scorpio"

"Robin, it's Ric – I'm sorry for calling so late"

She sat up straight. "That's okay Ric – what news do you have?"

"Patrick was right – negotiation is out of the question. Due to the timeliness of the case and no doubt his political pull, we are scheduled to be in court day after tomorrow. We'll need to meet tomorrow and prep"

"Damn" Robin swore softly. "What time?"

"Let's say 10. Robin, I'm going to move heaven and earth for you."

"Thanks Ric." She flipped the phone closed. She looked away from Patrick and hurled her phone against the wall.

Patrick rubbed her stomach. "Robin?"

"I just want him OUT OF MY LIFE!" she yelled.


	56. Chapter 56

Chapter 56

"Are you nervous?" Patrick asked as he did up his tie.

"Why would I be nervous?" she asked trying to do up the zipper on her dress

"Because we're going to court and that could make anyone nervous." He walked behind her and helped her with the zipper, pulling it to the top.

"This isn't going to work" she said.

"Court?"

"No, this dress. I can't breathe." She turned around and Patrick smirked at how the dress was pulled tightly across her stomach.

"You're kind of showing"

"Thanks genius – did you take a special course at med school for that?" she asked sarcastically.

"We are in a mood" he remarked.

"Back off Patrick" she warned.

He held up his hands in surrender. "This is me backing off. I'll be in the kitchen when you're ready to go" he said, walking out of the bedroom.

Robin felt badly. She hadn't meant to snap at him but her nerves were frayed. Her prep session with Ric had been long and while he had been confident they would come out on the winning side, he warned her that it could get ugly before it was all resolved. Robin was tired of it all and wondered in how many more ways would she be forced to pay for taking a leap of faith and dating someone she thought was a friend. She wanted to take the high road and be mature but with every new stunt Bruce tried she felt like she was being pulled into the mud with him.

xxxxxxxx

Patrick paced in the kitchen. He was worried about Robin – she had been too calm, too even-keeled over the last few weeks. What Bruce had done was enough to drive even the kindest of people over the edge and he could see the struggle to be fair and rational etched on her face. She had begun to show signs of frustration starting with Ric's phone call the other night telling her about the early court date. Robin had refused to let him come with her to the meeting at Ric's office saying that one of them had to show up to work and she had tossed and turned all night. He was concerned about the effect the stress was having on her and on their baby. He looked up with slight trepidation as she came into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry" she said standing on her tiptoes, giving him a quick kiss.

"It's going to be okay, Robin"

"We'll see. We should get a move on, I don't imagine it will help things if I'm late." She picked up her purse and headed to the door.

Patrick caught up to her and took her hand. "I have a surprise for us tonight" he said.

"What kind of surprise?"

"If I tell you then it won't be a surprise" he said teasingly.

"Honestly Patrick, I think I've had all the surprises I can handle lately."

"This one will be worth it" he said, squeezing her hand.

xxxxxxx

Ric met them outside the courthouse and ushered them inside.

"Where's the fire, Ric?" Patrick asked.

"Harris is going to be here any minute and I have a fear that he may have a media horde with him, I wanted to get you guys inside before that happened."

"Great" Robin groaned. "As if I haven't been publicly humiliated enough."

Patrick gave Robin a sideways glance. Sarcasm and a defeatist attitude were not normally part of her make up. He pulled her aside.

"Hey – it's going to be okay but you have to snap out of this funk"

"Snap out of this funk? You make it sound like I'm pms-ing Patrick. I'm not being overly emotional, I'm pissed off and slightly embarrassed that somehow I'm in court talking about the paternity of my child. So cut me some slack, would you?"

"We're in this together" he said supportively.

"Says the one of us without the baby in their belly. Let's go get seated."

Patrick watched as she strode off. He had rarely seen Robin angry but when she was, it reminded him of buckshot, spraying everywhere rather than at the target.

He smiled as he walked into the courtroom. There, sitting behind their table was Robert, Mac, Alexis, Noah and Sonny – a motley crew if ever he had seen one. He gave a small wave to the group and sat down beside Robin at the table, making no attempt to take her hand.

True to form, Bruce and his entourage came bustling into the courtroom with cameras and reporters in tow. He was dressed in a navy pinstripe suit and had a new girl on his arm.

"Mr. Harris, how long have you and Heather been together?"

"Sally," he smiled slickly "I'm not here to discuss that. I'm here today to ensure that a man's parental rights cannot be terminated on the whim of a vengeful woman. Fathers have rights too."

Patrick saw Robin stiffen beside him, her hand protectively covering her stomach. Not for the first time he found himself wanting to inflict mortal pain on Bruce Harris. Bruce, his lawyer and girlfriend took their seats awaiting the judge's entrance.

"All rise" the clerk ordered. The judge took his seat and quickly reviewed the case file in front of him. Looking up, he frowned at the sight of all the television cameras in the room.

"I'd like the room cleared of media, please. Due to the sensitive nature of this case, I'm ordering these hearings closed." Ric caught Robin's eye and gave her a wink.

"Your honour" Bruce's lawyer stood "Mr. Finch for the plaintiff. First amendment rights…"

The judge raised his hand. "Mr. Finch, I'm well aware of the first amendment however this involves a child and I don't think that should be fodder for the newspapers. Nor do I think your client should be able to use these proceedings to court voters. Bailiff, clear the courtroom"

Ric leaned over to Robin. "Round one to us Robin."

"Mr. Finch, please present your opening statement."

"Your honour, we are here today on the question of paternity of Dr. Robin Scorpio's child. She originally told my client that he was the father but seemingly finding that reality distasteful, she has changed her mind and now named another man the father. We are simply asking the court to order a paternity test to resolve this question. If paternity is resolved in favour of my client, he is prepared to assume all financial and parental responsibilities for the child. Thank you."

"Mr. Lansing?"

"Your honour, my client, Dr. Robin Scorpio has been assured by two different obstetricians that her pregnancy is further advanced than originally believed which in of itself resolves the paternity issue. However, she has no objection to submitting to a test but due to a pre-existing medical condition, the test will have to be performed after birth."

"What condition is that Mr. Lansing?" the judge asked.

"My client is HIV, your honour" Ric said. Robin stared straight ahead, willing herself not to flinch. She had no desire to look at the judge or anyone else in the courtroom for fear of the judgment or prejudice she would find in their eyes.

"Mr, Finch, I'm assuming your client does not want to endanger the child by exposing it unnecessarily to HIV?"

"No your honour"

"Then I'm at a loss to understand why we are here? If you both agree to a test and agree for safety's sake as to when it can be done – what are we doing besides wasting my time?"

"Your honour" Mr. Finch said, standing "My client would like to be involved or at least apprised of the progress of Dr. Scorpio's pregnancy and any medical concerns that may arise during this time."

"Out of the question, your honour. The utltrasound confirms that my client conceived before her relationship with Mr. Harris and there is absolutely no reason why he should remain involved. Our agreement to a paternity test is simply to provide him peace of mind – we are 100 sure of the paternity"

"With all due respect your honour, I have several expert witnesses who will be happy to testify that conception is not an exact science and it can be difficult to determine just based on an ultrasound image. All my client is asking for is to be kept involved until such time as the paternity of the child is confirmed in the only way the court accepts – through a DNA test."

"Mr. Lansing?"

"Your honour, this is supposed to be a joyous and stress free time for my client. The spectre of Mr. Harris' involvement severely impacts both of those. There is no reason for him to be involved. My client is carrying the baby to term and there is no risk to the child that Mr. Harris should be concerned about"

"Unless of course she changes her mind about paternity again" Mr. Finch said. "Your honour, Dr. Scorpio is in the unenviable position of not knowing who her baby's daddy is. Who knows how many other potential fathers for this child there are? It would appear she is going with the most convenient one for now but who knows how long that will last?"

Robin closed her eyes, feeling as though she had been punched in the stomach.

"Objection your honour! Attacking my client's character is completely uncalled for."

"It was not an attack, your honour. I'm merely pointing out that Dr. Scorpio is obviously a sexually active woman and she has already been confused once about paternity, maybe it could happen again."

"My father heard that" she said under her breath.

Patrick took her hand and she didn't shake it off. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. It was ironic that she was being attacked as being promiscuous for she had been anything but. She had only had two lovers before going to Paris and in the eight years she was there, she had dated but not with any real frequency. And here she was – the last of the 'good girls' being accused of being easy.

"Your honour…" Ric objected.

"That's enough, both of you. I hereby order that Dr. Scorpio make her child available for paternity testing within 48 hours of giving birth. I further order that Mr. Harris receive regular updates on the progression and health of both Dr. Scorpio and her unborn child."

"Your honour" Ric jumped from his chair.

"Sit down Mr. Lansing."

Ric glared at the judge before sitting down. "These updates are to be provided within three business days of any appointment that Dr. Scorpio has regarding her pregnancy." The judge brought his gavel down, ending the proceedings.

Robin stared straight ahead, dumbfounded, dropping Patrick's hand. Bruce was going to be in her life and her pregnancy for the remaining six months and there was nothing she could do about it.

"Robin, I'm so sorry" Ric said.

She turned and grimaced. "That's okay Ric, you did everything you could. I appreciate it." She slowly stood up and turning saw the sympathetic looks on everyone's faces. It was almost more than she could take.

Noah, Mac, Robert, Alexis and Sonny surrounded them.

"Luv, I'm so sorry" Robert said.

"Me too" Alexis added.

Robin said nothing as she looked at the understanding faces all staring at her. "I…uh…I can't be here right now" she said.

"Okay, let's go" Patrick said, reaching for her hand.

Robin pulled her hand away. "No – I …god, I..I just need to be alone" she said as she pushed her way out of the group and ran for the courtroom doors. Patrick hung his head as he watched her run.

"She just needs to cool off, sport. She'll be back soon." Noah said, putting his hand on his shoulder.

"Whatever" he shook his head as he fingered the key in his pocket. It was the key to his new house and he was going to surprise her with it after the proceedings. He shoved the key deeper into his pocket.

Robert watched as Bruce and his entourage packed up and headed towards the doors. Moving quickly, he placed himself between Bruce and the doors.

"Mr. Harris" he said.

"Oh. Mr. Scorpio. I wish we were meeting under better circumstances."

Robert leveled him with a look. "Mr. Harris I think the judge is a horse's ass and his ruling is ridiculous. You let your lawyer cast aspersions on my daughter's character, which is a slight I won't soon forget. But let me tell you right now, if my daughter gets so much as a hang nail because of the pressure and stress you're putting her under, I have a friend who has a spot with your name on it in a Chechen jail."

Bruce swallowed nervously. "Mr. Scorpio – are you threatening me – in front of all these witnesses?"

Robert grinned. "Mate, I don't make threats – just promises."


	57. Chapter 57

Chapter 57

Chapter 57

Robin looked over the water and sighed. She had been here for hours and was no closer to answers. This place had always been her refuge when the world closed in on her. It had been a long time since she felt this way – unable to cope. She was supposed to be happy, she was supposed to feel joy but instead she felt like her life had been hijacked. She patted her stomach. She knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was carrying Patrick's baby and she didn't need an ultrasound or a DNA test to confirm that for her.

Typical and normal had never been words that accurately described her life. From her parents being spies and being thought dead to the death of her first love, to having HIV to falling in love with a mob hitman – nothing had ever been normal. She had so wanted this pregnancy to bring some normalcy to her life but it was not to be. Looking up at the stars she wished she had the power to bring the universe to a grinding halt. She never had the opportunity to just be and that was what she wanted.

"I wasn't sure you still came here"

Robin didn't turn around. "I didn't hear your bike."

Jason stood beside her, looking out over the water. "I left it at the bottom of the hill and walked up. You okay?"

She pursed her lips together. "I've been better. Are you here just by chance?"

"No. Sonny called and said things hadn't gone so well at the courthouse and that you took off."

"You here to babysit me?" she snapped.

Jason leaned back against the bridge, facing Robin. "You don't need a babysitter but I thought you might need a friend or at least someone not all wrapped up in your life."

Robin gave him a small smile. "I'm pregnant"

"I heard. I'm happy for you, Robin."

"Thanks. It's a bit of a disaster at the moment and I'm not feeling too happy."

"I heard about the court case."

Robin exhaled. "I don't want him in my life Jason – he hurt me – he humiliated me and he keeps doing it. And I think that I'm rid of him and he comes back. Thought I guess I shouldn't be surprised."

"Why not?" Jason kept his eyes on her, while she stared over the water.

"Well I do have tendency to careen from disaster to disaster. Why should this be any different?"

"Robin, what do you mean by disaster?"

"My life is a mess Jason. It has been since I met you." Jason didn't react. "I've made choices and done things that haven't helped me at all. Dating Bruce Harris was just the latest in a long line of stupid things."

"I think you're being hard on yourself. The choices you made, even if I didn't agree with them, were choices you made because of who you are. And Robin, who you are is a pretty good thing." Robin looked over at him, disbelievingly. "It's true. You're tough, you're strong and you do what's right for you. Dating this guy wasn't stupid – how were you supposed to know that he was like this?"

"I should have known. No one in my life liked him."

"No one in your life liked me either…" he paused "Maybe that's not the best example" he smiled, eliciting a small laugh from Robin.

"Robin – you followed your heart – it took you to Paris, you became a doctor – you saved my life…" she scoffed "No" he said emphatically "Patrick may have done the surgery but you saved my life. That means your life isn't a disaster or a series of stupid choices. You're the one who taught me that you can't go wrong if you follow your heart."

Robin ran her hand over her mouth. "Everyone wants to handle me, to beat up Bruce or kill him."

"What do you want?"

She shook her head. "I'm not even sure I want to be pregnant"

Jason looked at her in surprise. Admittedly he didn't know Robin as well now as he once did but they had been close and had shared dreams and hopes for each other. Motherhood was something that was important to her and it pained him to hear her speak like this.

"Do you mean that?"

"No" she said quietly, her hand on her stomach "but Jason, this is so much stress. This feels like a once in a lifetime opportunity for me and instead of enjoying it and being giddy – I've been splashed over newspapers, taken to court - why can't I just have this?"

"How is Patrick with all this?"

Robin smiled. "He's been amazing. Even when he thought the child was Bruce's he was willing to be with me, stay with me. I've not been very nice to him lately and I ran out on him today."

"And you love him?"

Robin nodded. "More than I thought possible. You know, after you and a series of really bad dates in Paris, I had come to accept that I was never going to find love again. But I was okay with it because I had loved truly and deeply twice. First with Stone and then with you. And then Patrick Drake appeared in my life and pushed every single one of my buttons" Jason smiled. "He made me crazy – still does actually. He's forced me to ask myself some hard questions and he's pushed me to live a little more fully than I had been." Robin paused and looked at Jason. "I'm sorry – is this weird?"

Jason shook his head. "No" he said quietly. "Robin there's a part of me that will always wish that we had worked out because you loved me and taught me how to love." He put his hand over hers. "But I would never be able to give you all that you deserve. If Patrick can do that for you, then I'm happy. Despite everything, all I've ever wanted was for you to be happy and safe."

"And me for you" she said softly.

"Then I think you have it" he said. Robin looked at him skeptically. "You asked why you can't just have this – you do. It's up to you how much power you give everything else. This jerk can have as much or little impact on you as you let him. The choice is yours."

Robin moved towards him and gave him a hug. "You have a knack for showing up when I need some objectivity and perspective."

"You're going to be a great mother" he said into the top of her hair. "And Patrick is a very lucky guy."

"Thanks" her voice was hoarse.

"Want a ride home on my bike?" Robin looked at him, debating the offer. "I'll drive slowly" he said.

"But not too slowly, right?"

"We'll get a little wind to scream in your ears"

xxxxxxxxx

Patrick paced around her apartment, contemplating whether he should just go back to the MetroCourt. She had been gone for nearly six hours and he was out of his mind with worry. He had left a series of increasingly frantic messages on her cell phone. He had been to the hospital roof; her lab, the docks and even Kelly's but no one had seen her. He had felt the panic emanating from her in the courtroom before proceedings had even got under way and was kicking himself for not realizing that she would bolt at the first opportunity. She was hurt and felt betrayed by someone she had trusted – there would be no easy fix for it. But he wanted at least the opportunity to try and fix it for her.

He had been close to calling Brenda in Rome on the off chance that she had called or worse, once again jumped on the first plane to see her, but in the end decided that a phone call to her could wait a while longer.

Leaning over the kitchen counter, he had his head in his hands when he heard her key in the door. Looking up, he watched as the door opened slowly and Robin nervously walked in. Her eyes darted around the room and she didn't see him right away. His heart jumped a little when he saw the look of disappointment on her face.

"Hey" he said coming around from the kitchen.

Robin chewed on her bottom lip. "I'm sorry"

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked moving closer to her

"Tired and hungry"

"Where were you?"

"Listening to the echoes of life left behind" she said, taking a tentative step towards him. "I'm sorry I've been so bitchy and that I ran – I just needed some time alone."

Patrick gave her a wry grin. "You could have just said, you know."

"I know – it was really unfair of me to worry you."

He shrugged. "Did you get some stuff sorted out?"

"I think so. I ruined your surprised" she said sheepishly.

"It will keep for another day." Patrick took another step until he was right in front of her. He ran the back of his fingers against his cheek and Robin turned her head, kissing his hand. "You know I love you, right?"

"I do" she said thickly reaching out and grabbing hold of his belt loop. "I thought my head was going to explode Patrick and I just need air – alone. I can't promise I won't run again but I'll try not to"

Patrick cupped her face, he gently kissed her lips before moving to her neck. "Run if you need to" he said, dropping a kiss on the side of her neck. "Just make sure you come back to where you belong."

"And where is that?" she asked breathlessly as the feeling of his lips on her skin sent shivers through her.

"Here – with me."


	58. Chapter 58

Chapter 58

"Hey Big Papi" Liz teased as she approached the Nurses Station.

"Big Papi?" Patrick asked in surprise.

"Sorry – too familiar? Popa? Pops? Poopsy?"

"Uh, is there something wrong with Patrick?" he asked grinning.

"Just trying to work out the appropriate nickname for you – what with your impending fatherhood."

"I see – and what is Lucky's nickname?"

"He doesn't have one" she said simply.

"Why not?"

"He has a gun and handcuffs. Though I don't mind the cuffs" she looked up at Patrick who was staring at her in surprise.  
"What? TMI?"

"Uh, no – just didn't know you ran to the kinky side, Liz"

"You have no idea" she smiled.

"Okay then…."

"So I was wondering…" she started.

"Yes?" he asked rolling his eyes.

"I was wondering if the rumors are true?"

"You're going to have to narrow that one down a little Liz"

"How many rumors do you think there are about you?" she asked in mock annoyance.

"Quite a few – I'm legendary" he said, flashing his dimple.

Liz threw a pen at him. "Well this rumor could kill your legendary status"

"Fine" he sighed. "Which rumor?"

"The one that says you have been spending time staring through the window of the nursery in pediatrics"

Liz began to chuckle as she watched Patrick's cheek flush crimson. "Staring is such a strong word. More like I was walking by and happened to take a peek in."

"Really? Doing a lot of neuro consults in peds are you?"

"Shut up."

"I would say your secret is safe with me but really, it's not."

"You are an evil minx, you know that right?"

"Oh how the mighty have fallen. Once upon a time you were this uber-cool, macho guy and now you're just another squishy man" she sighed "It's so sad to watch"

"I am still cool – still uber-cool. I've got game"

Liz shook her head. "You once were the Tiger Woods of the single man and now you're …you're…..whatever – name a bad golfer - you're it. Washed up Patrick."

"I'm not washed up" he said defensively "I'm just concentrating my efforts on one woman – it pays huge dividends" he smiled.

Liz laughed. "Whatever you need to tell yourself. I did hear a small whoop of joy go up from the other single doctors in the lounge – saying something like "the King is dead – long live the King."

Patrick laughed. "I like to keep my subjects happy."

"All joking aside – how are you feeling about impending fatherhood?"

Patrick pulled at his lip. "You know, if you had asked me if I wanted children I would have said no but having a child with Robin just kind of fits. I'm pretty excited and terrified all at once."

"There's a reason they give you nine months to get used to it, you know."

"Thank goodness for that."

"I'm really pleased for you, Patrick" she smiled, gathering up her charts.

"Thanks Liz – me too." Patrick smiled as she left. Every conversation he had with someone made it seem more real and he found his heart beating faster every time he talked about his child.

xxxxxxx

Robin munched on soda crackers as she reviewed her notes. The smells in the lab still got to her on occasion but she always kept crackers in drawers around the lab to ward off the nausea. She thought back on her conversation with Jason and realized he was right. Bruce could only have as much power in her life as she gave him. So what if he had updates on the progression of her pregnancy – it wasn't as if the information would suddenly make him the father. If she wanted to have a happy pregnancy and eliminate the stress from her life then she needed to push him out of her head.

"Hard at work?"

Robin looked up and smiled when she saw Noah standing in her door. "Noah – this is a nice surprise."

"Just came to check on my…what are you to me – you're not my daughter-in-law – what should I call you?"

"Hmm – how about friend?"

Noah smiled. "That works. How are you feeling?" he motioned to the crackers.

"Just trying to ward it off but other than that, I'm fine."

"I know you were pretty upset after the courthouse the other day…"

She nodded. "But I'm better now. I cleared my head and got a grip. It helps that your son loves me" she grinned.

"I can't tell you how proud I am to see Patrick take on this role. He seems to be just so comfortable with it."

"He really is – he's been quite a revelation."

"I'm quite looking forward to being a grandfather" he admited shyly.

"You are?"

Noah nodded. "I, uh… I know you said that you never thought you would have a chance to be a mother but honestly I also never thought I would have a chance at this. I was either going to be dead and if I wasn't, there was no relationship with Patrick. This is more than I could have hoped for."

Robin came from behind the desk and threw her arms around Noah. "I can't wait to see you as a grandfather – we have such a lucky baby to be surrounded by so much love."

Noah smiled but the smile was quickly wiped from his face as he noticed her expression change. "Robin? Are you okay?"

"Yeah" she said, grabbing the counter to steady herself. "I just, I got a little dizzy"

"Why don't you sit down" he said, pulling her chair over.

"I'm fine Noah, really I …oww" she grabbed her side.

"Robin?!" Noah shot to his side.

"It's just a little cramp – it will pass."

"Have you had these before?"

She nodded "Here and there but it's nothing. It's probably indigestion" she said, trying to wave him off.

"I'm getting a wheelchair and we're going to get you examined."

"Noah, I'm fine"

"Do not argue with me Robin" he said, stepping into the hallway and pulling a wheelchair into the lab.

"You're pushy like Patrick" she said as he guided her into the chair.

"Where do you think he got it from?" he said, trying to conceal his concern. He pushed her into the hallway.

Robin grabbed her side again as panic swept through her. This couldn't be happening – there just couldn't be something wrong with the baby. The universe was not this cruel, was it? "Noah" she croaked

"Yes sweetheart?"

"A little speed wouldn't be a bad thing right now" she said, as a cold sweat trickled down her back.

Noah brought her to the first available exam room on the floor and sent a 911 page to Kelly. He helped her from the chair to the table before paging Patrick. Robin brought her knees to her chest.

"Hang on Robin. You tell my grandchild to hang on too – you both hang on" he pleaded.


	59. Chapter 59

Chapter 59

Chapter 59

"Okay Robin, I need you to stretch out so I can do the ultrasound" Kelly said.

Robin rolled slowly on to her back and stretched her body. Kelly quickly undid the top of Robin's jeans and lifted her top. Noah held her hand and stroked her hair as Kelly squirted the gel on her belly. She grimaced as another cramp took hold.

"Kelly – is the baby okay?" she asked through gritted teeth.

"Just give me a second" she said, rolling the ultrasound over her belly. All three doctors kept their eyes glued to the screen as the image of the baby appeared. Kelly carefully examined the image on the screen. "The baby is fine Robin."

Noah squeezed her hand as Robin blew out her cheeks. "Thank god" she said, willing the tears not to fall.

"But I need to do an internal exam as well."

Noah kissed the top of her head. "I think I'll leave you two alone for that."

"Noah?"

"Yes sweetheart?"

"Could you please find Patrick?" The only thing Robin wanted was Patrick by her side, reassuring her that everything was all right.

"Of course. I paged him but he must be in surgery. I'll get him. You just relax"

Robin nodded and Noah smiled at her as he left. "Seriously, Kel – the baby?"

"Is fine Robin but I don't think that you are."

Robin tried to sit up. "What do you mean?"

Kelly gently pushed her back onto the bed. "Your blood pressure is really high and though there is nothing wrong with the baby now, if you don't slow down you could be in real trouble."

"What do you mean?"

"You are under an enormous amount of stress and if I know you, you're pushing pretty hard at the lab too."

"I'm handling it" she said defiantly.

"Well not as well as you think you are. I'm going to admit you overnight…"

"Kelly, no"

"I want to observe you overnight and then you'll be on bed rest for at least a week"

"Kelly, there has to be another way"

"Not if you want to keep the baby there isn't" she said firmly.

Both looked up in surprise as the door to the exam room flew open and Patrick came skidding through the door. He was pale and panic was etched onto his face.

"Robin – are you okay?" he asked hurriedly.

"I'm fine" she said, holding her hand out to him. Taking it, she felt the clamminess of his.

Not believing her, Patrick turned to Kelly. "Kelly?"

"The baby is fine Patrick. I'm admitting Robin overnight for observation and then she'll be on bed rest."

"Kelly…" Robin started.

"Jesus Christ Robin – this isn't up for debate!" Patrick yelled at her. Robin looked at him in shock. "I don't mean to yell" he said, his face softening "but you cannot risk your health or the baby's health. It is not going to kill you to stay in bed for a week."

She glared at him. "Are you implying I don't care about the baby as much as you do?"

"Are you high?" he asked incredulously. "I just want you to be healthy – I want you both to be healthy."

"I'm fine" Robin said sitting up "but if Kelly insists on keeping me here then fine – I'll stay."

"Good because I'm not above using restraints" Kelly said, only partially joking.

Robin did up her pants and pulled her shirt down. Patrick leaned against the counter and exhaled. He had just been closing up a surgery when he saw his father waiting for him in the scrub room. He knew before he even got to the room that something was wrong with Robin. Noah had looked grey and drawn.

Patrick had barely let him finish what he was saying before taking off to the exam room. His heart was pounding in his chest and he was absolutely terrified for Robin and the baby. He loved their baby but if it was possible, he loved Robin even more and the thought of her health being in danger stopped him cold. The relief was unspeakable when he saw her in the exam room, which was why he couldn't stop himself from snapping at her. There were only two things in the world that Patrick truly hated – being scared and losing. He had unconsciously dedicated his life to avoiding both, at almost all costs.

Robin got off of the table and Kelly brought the wheelchair over to her. "I am not going in that thing" Robin stated.

"Hospital policy – you know that" Kelly said, turning back to her chart.

"Yeah well policies were made to be broke-"

"ROBIN!!" Patrick yelped, lunging forward to catch her as she collapsed to the floor. The chart dropped to the floor as Kelly rushed to her. Patrick lifted her and placed her on the bed. "Robin….baby, wake up" he said urgently.

Kelly listened to her heart and grimaced. Pulling down the blood pressure cuff, she took Robin's blood pressure again. "It's 82/50"

"That's too low" Patrick said.

"I'm going to start an i.v." Kelly said, pulling a bag down from cupboard.

"What can I do?" he asked, feeling completely helpless.

"Stay out of my way for the moment" she said. Pushing Robin's sleeve up, she swabbed the back of her hand and started the iv line. She passed the bag to Patrick to hang on the pole. Within a minute, Robin's eyes began to flutter open.

"Robin?" Kelly asked. "Wake up honey"

Robin clenched her eyes shut before opening them. "What…what happened?"

"You had a drop in blood pressure and you fainted."

She nodded. "I suppose this means I definitely staying here tonight?" she smiled weakly.

Patrick chuckled in relief. "You are such a drama queen – you know that?"

"Can't let you have all the attention" she said.

He pressed his lips to hers, breathing in the sweet scent of her soap. "Are you quite done scaring me now?"

Robin smiled against his lips. "I think that covers it"

He kissed her again. "Good."

Kelly sighed in relief as well. As hard as she tried to remain detached, this was her friend and there was a small part of her that froze when she saw her go down.

"On the upside Robin, you don't have to go to your room in a wheelchair any longer"

"Oh?" she asked, barely raising her head.

"Yup- now you get to go in a gurney."

"Oh" she groaned.

Patrick took her small hand between his two large ones and kissed it while Kelly called for a porter to take her to her room. Patrick walked with her the entire way, oblivious to the stares from the other doctors and nurses in the halls.

Once she was transferred to her bed, Patrick pulled a chair to her bedside and sank into it. "You've been awfully quiet" Robin said gently.

"You scared the shit out of me."

"I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to apologize for Robin, I'm just trying to get my heart to stop from beating out of my chest." He traced circles in the palm of her hand. "Are you feeling any better?"

She nodded. "I'm still a little woozy but I'm okay." They sat in silence; the constant beeping of her heart monitor was the only noise. The door opened and Robin gave a wry smile as Kelly and Dr. Maida, her HIV pre-natal specialist came through the door.

"How are you feeling now Robin?" Kelly asked.

"Pretty good – I'm guessing this is midrodine" she motioned to her i.v.

"It is – your blood pressure dropped awfully low and very quickly I might add" Kelly said.

"Robin"

"Dr. Maida"

"How long have you been having these reactions to your new HIV medications?" Patrick looked at Dr. Maida in surprise before turning to Robin. "From the beginning?" Robin nodded silently. "You were to let me know at the first sign of an adverse reaction."

Patrick looked at Robin in disbelief. "You've been reacting to meds and you didn't say anything?"

"I only have two more weeks to go on them and then I can return to my original protocol"

"Robin, you've put your health at risk" the doctor said simply.

"But you said if these didn't work I would have to go back on my original protocol but there was toxicity risk for the baby. I thought I could tough it out."

"Robin, this isn't a test of your will power and what kind of discomfort you can withstand – I'm going to have to put you on your meds now"

"No! There's a risk to the baby – can't I go off of all meds for the next two weeks? I've read that in HIV patients with low viral loads, they can stop their ARVs during the first trimester."

"Absolutely not" Patrick said firmly. Robin fixed him with a look.

"Dr. Drake is right to be concerned" Dr. Maida interjected. "Though it represents a low risk to your viral load, I'm not willing to take that on - it's unnecessary when we have a protocol we know you can tolerate."

"But the baby…"

"Screw it Robin!" Patrick said, his voice steadily rising "What the hell is the point of a healthy baby if the mother is sick?"

"This is my health choice. This isn't your call Patrick" she said defensively.

"Apparently not since you see no point in even letting me know that you're reacting to meds. Tell me Robin, am I a partner in this or a sperm donor?"

Patrick stood up and stormed from her room.


	60. Chapter 60

Chapter 59

Chapter 60

Patrick reached the roof and threw open the door. The boiling rage inside of him made it difficult to see. He tripped over an empty box and regaining his balance, kicked it across the roof. Stalking over to it, he kicked it again.

He was seething.

Every time he thought that he and Robin had reached some kind of rhythm to their relationship something always seemed to come and blow it away. This was why he had avoided relationships in the past. Sharing a life with someone meant that so many things were out of his control. Robin was free to make decisions as she saw fit and was under no obligation to consult with him. The problem for Patrick was that he wanted her to consult with him, he wanted to be a part of the decision making.

He kicked the box again.

"What did that poor box ever do to you?"

Patrick looked across the roof. "What are you doing here Liz?"

"I came for a little quiet time but I didn't realize the roof had been booked for a box thrashing." Patrick smirked. "What's going on?"

"Robin Scorpio is the single most frustrating human being alive!" he exclaimed loudly.

Liz stifled a laugh. "Really?"

"Working on your act for Vegas?"

Her face softened as she saw the mixture of fear and anger in his eyes. "What happened?"

"She had cramps and then collapsed from low blood pressure."

"Oh my god, is she okay?"

Patrick nodded. "Kelly has admitted her and will be sending her home on bed rest, if she has a good night tonight."

"Does Kelly know what caused it? Is the baby okay?"

"The baby's fine. Apparently it's a reaction to her new HIV protocol that she's on for her first trimester. But of course I had to hear that from the doctor – why would she bother to tell me? I'm only the father and her boyfriend – why the heck would I want to know?"

Liz watched as he paced furiously in front of her. "Can she not go back on her original meds?"

"Well that's what Dr. Maida wants to do but nooooo, Robin's concerned about toxicity and so my genius girlfriend went so far as to suggest that she should stop the ARVs completely for the next few weeks until she's well advanced into her second term. Because that's about the smartest thing I've heard since Tom Cruise announced that vitamins and exercise could cure post-partum depression. Hey! Look at me – I'll refuse the medication and it could permanently alter my health and perhaps speed the disease that could someday kill me! Genius" his voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Are you quite done with your pity party? 'Cause I can wait, if you're not."

Patrick glared at her. "Aren't you supposed to be making me feel better?"

"Sure, except I'm not sure you want to feel better – you actually look like you're enjoying being angry."

"What about this" he pointed to his face "looks like I'm enjoying anything? I get to sit in a courtroom and listen to a lawyer suggest that the woman I love is somehow promiscuous and then find out that she's been lying to me about her health. Of course this is after the seesaw of I'm not the father, I am the father. Yup – this is a fucking walk along the beach, Liz."

"You've been holding that in quite a while, haven't you?"

Patrick slung his hands on his hips and looked up at the sky. "I suppose so."

"You've spent so much time trying to be the perfect boyfriend for Robin and the supportive father to be that you've just kind of pushed your feelings aside. I don't think that's working out too well for you."

Patrick scoffed. "Yeah, well"

"Patrick, it's okay to be angry – you guys have had quite a rollercoaster going on and it's been a lot of stress. But you need to understand why Robin did what she did."

"Because she's closed off and walled up as usual and I don't seem to have the right sledgehammer to get through to her."

"Well, that has been Robin's way of reacting to things. As much as people love her she's been horribly let down by those she's relied on the most. But that's not what entirely what's going on here."

"Then enlighten me sensei" he leaned against the ledge, facing Liz. His arms crossed against his chest in an act of defiance.

"Listen grasshopper, your sarcasm neither scares me nor impresses me." She fixed him with her best 'mommy' look. "There is something that happens to a woman when she is pregnant. She will do anything, including sacrificing her own health, to protect the baby."

Patrick ran his hands through hair. "Look, Liz – I want this baby too. God help me, I want this baby but not at the cost to Robin's health. I would rather never have a child with Robin than have her risk her health. I do not want to be raising a child without her" he said emphatically.

Liz shook her head. "Patrick, you misunderstand me. This isn't a conscious choice on Robin's part – it's hormonal" Patrick rolled his eyes. "No, hear me out. When a woman is pregnant the hormones drive her to protect her child at all costs. Our bodies even work that way. You know, if you have a bad diet while pregnant and let's say you're missing calcium, the baby will leech it from you – to the point that your teeth fall out. Women are hardwired to protect their children starting from conception. I'll grant you that Robin should have probably discussed it with you but you already know her HIV medication is a really personal thing for her."

"She's not the only one going through changes Liz. I want to protect her – I NEED to protect her and I've done a piss poor job of keeping Bruce at bay or eliminating stress from her life. Add to that, her and I don't have a commitment – so if she's willing to keep something this big from me what happens if we break up and something happens to the baby? How much will she keep from me then?"

Liz walked towards Patrick and leaned against the ledge beside him. "Wow – it's not like you to get so far ahead of yourself with theories and suppositions. Is there something else going on?"

"Like what?"

"Are you scared about being a father?"

"What if I screw up?" he asked quietly.

"What do you mean if? Of course you're going to screw up – you're going to be a parent – screwing up is part of the job description."

Patrick smiled gratefully. "Liz – ever since college I have always known what to do and been good at it. I had to work at school but I was good – really good. Even now, put me in an OR and I can deal with anything but I have no fucking clue what I'm doing here. I don't know the first thing about being a boyfriend let alone a father. I feel like I'm fumbling in the dark and every time I turn a light on, Robin turns it off."

"Have you told her that?"

"I can't. She's dealing with a ton of stuff now, she doesn't need my stuff on top of it."

"Patrick, you're right – you don't know the first thing about being a boyfriend."

"Thanks"

Liz giggled. "You can't be there for her, help her deal with the Bruce stuff and not tell her what's going on with you. It's not fair to her and frankly, it could make her think that you don't trust her. The argument could be made that you too are closed off and walled up as well."

He gave her a wry grin. "Anyone ever tell you that you're too smart for your own good?"

"All this and I'm impossibly cute!"

Patrick leaned over and gave her a kiss on her cheek. "Thanks."

"Go and talk to her Patrick. She needs you and you need her."

"I will."

xxxxxxx

Patrick stood in the doorway of her room and watched her sleep. He wanted to crawl into the bed beside her and hold her. He smiled as he saw the tiniest of bumps under her blankets. No one would ever know that she was pregnant by looking at her but he knew every inch of her body and even the slightest change didn't escape his notice.

"Are you watching me sleep again?" came her sleepy voice.

"I am" he smiled at her as she struggled to open her eyes. "I'm sorry about earlier" he said.

Robin struggled to sit up. "You're not a sperm donor. You're the father of my child - our child - and I love you."

Patrick crossed the room in three sides and gently sliding into her bed, wrapped her in his arms.


	61. Chapter 61

Chapter 61

"I really think it's unnecessary for you to carry me" Robin whined.

"Kelly said bed rest, which means no walking around" Patrick said, struggling to open the door to her apartment with her in his arms.

"Did it ever occur to you just because I'm small doesn't mean I like to be picked up."

"You like it" he said fumbling with the key.

"You're awfully sure of yourself"

"Yes – dammit" he swore as he dropped the key.

"Seriously Patrick, just put me down and I think you'll find the whole door opening thing a whole lot easier"

He paused, before gently putting her on her feet. "No walking away"

"Where am I going to go? Make a run for Kelly's?" She brought her finger to her lips "Hmm – Kelly's – chili would be so good right now."

"Robin, it's 9 o'clock in the morning."

"So, chili would be a good breakfast."

"I don't think Kelly's has any made yet." Patrick finally got the door open and picked her up as she tried to walk through the door. "Bed.Rest. Robin"

"You are seriously on the verge of being the most annoying human on earth."

"Sticks and stones" he carried her into the bedroom and laid her on it.

"What time is your first surgery today?"

"At 1"

"Lie down beside me?" she said patting the space next to her. Patrick stretched out on his stomach beside her. He gently ran his hand over her belly. Robin closed her hand over his and kept it still on her stomach.

"So about my meds…."

Patrick raised his eyebrows. "We don't have to do this right now."

"We do."

"Okay" he leaned down and dropped a kiss on their conjoined hands.

"I need to make sure the baby is healthy. She's already got a few strikes against her and I need her to have a fighting chance."

"She? Think you're having a girl Scorpio?"

Robin smiled. "Of course, it's a girl – you don't?"

"Nah, it's a boy."

"Oh really – wanna put your money where your mouth is?"

"Name your price" he challenged.

"Well first we have to agree that neither of us will ask Kelly what the sex is"

"Done – what is our bet?"

"When our daughter is born, you will provide me with a locket necklace so I can put her photo and maybe even yours"

"I see. Fine – when our son is born, you have to agree to spend a month in Australia with me"

"Australia?"

"I've always wanted to go and once all of our friends and families have a had a gander at the kid, we need to get the heck out of town"

"Deal – I want 18k gold, none of that gold plated crap"

"Fine – I'll go pick out some guide books on Australia on my way home from work tonight."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the reaction to the meds, I thought if I hung on a little longer I would be okay. Patrick, I'm terrified of our child being sick – she needs to be healthy because it will be hard enough to leave her- I don't want to have made her sick too."

"Wait a second – what is all this leaving talk? Where are you going?"

"You know…" she squeezed his hand. "at some point…"

"At some point Robin – not right away. You are not going to make our child sick – but there is no point in us having a healthy son" he winked at her "if you become sick in the process."

Robin inhaled deeply. "Patrick, if it comes to saving my life or our baby's – you have to go with the baby."

He shook his head. "Not a chance. Robin – I'm building a life with you – we can have other children if we want – we can adopt –whatever but there is only one you."

"It would be irresponsible to save me…"

He put his fingers to her lips. "This is like the epidemic all over again. You have no idea how close I was to just ignoring you and injecting you with the antidote. I didn't but I won't make that choice a second time. You are too important to me for me to give you up without a fight."

Robin's eyes filled with tears. "Patrick…."

"What is with all this talk anyways? Is there something you want to tell me?" Patrick felt a chill run down his back.

"No" she wiped at her tears with her free hand. "I just want things to be clear. It was one thing when I was only responsible for me but now there is so much more at stake."

"Robin I will take care of both of you as very best I can."

"That's all we need"

"Do you think I could spend the week on bed rest with you?" he lifted his head, brushing his lips against hers.

"That would be nice" she returned his kiss "but I'm fairly certain bed rest means no sex"

"What?" he said in mock surprise "who's the idiot that agreed to that?"

Robin laughed. "I think it's Dr. Idiot."

"Ah – silly me. Listen, I know it's going to suck to be stuck here on your own but we'll make sure you have visitors and if you are a very, very good girl, I will have a nice surprise to give you at the end of the week."

Robin grinned. "The surprise from the other day?"

"Yes"

"Can I have a hint?"

"Nope."

"You're being very mean to a girl who is stuck in her bed for a week."

"I'm surprisingly comfortable with it" he grinned.

"When is Nathalie coming?"

"I called her last night while you were sleeping. She'll be here next week with the kids, provided you're on your feet."

Robin put her hand on Patrick's arm. "Tell her to come anyways – we'll work something out. She needs you Patrick and …I think you need her."

He nodded, placing his head on her stomach. Robin played with his hair, lovingly stroking it. She closed her eyes as she felt Patrick's steady breathing on her skin. Each time one pushed the other away they seemed to come back to each other closer than ever. She had dreams about their baby, about her falling sick as the baby grew stronger. She allowed her mind to wander to that fatalistic place everyone visits from time to time. She wondered if the universe worked in such a way that the price for her to have a miracle baby was her health. She had done a lot of reading and intellectually knew it wasn't unusual for pregnant women to have strange dreams but emotionally the dreams left her feeling a little unsteady. She wished her mother was with her or at the very least reachable by phone but her father had assured her that she was in deep cover and would be in touch as soon as her assignment allowed. She sighed quietly and tried to concentrate on the positives.

The quiet was broken by the shrill ring of her phone. Patrick reached for the phone. "Hello?"

"Drake? It's Bruce Harris."

"Fuck off Harris" he said, snapping the phone shut.


	62. Chapter 62

Chapter 62

"I'm not sure that was helpful" Robin said as Patrick put his head back on her stomach.

"I don't care" he grumbled. "I was having a moment here with my son…"

"Daughter"

"Son and he ruined it. Tell me again why you won't let your father, your uncle or your friends kill him?"

"Stop thinking about him and go back to thinking about the lovely necklace you're going to buy me"

"You mean my trip to Australia?"

"Unless you're going to Australia to get my necklace, I really mean my necklace"

"Whatever, it's a boy – men know these things."

"Riiight. I have a baby implanted in my uterus but you know these things." Patrick made a face. "What?"

"You said uterus"

"Hello?? Did they not teach you that word in med school"

"They did" he frowned "but it's such an unsexy word"

"My uterus isn't supposed to be sexy Patrick, it's supposed to be useful, practical even"

"I think your uterus is sexy"

"Can we PLEASE stop talking about the relative sex appeal of my uterus?"

Patrick kissed her stomach. "Well at least we agree it has sex appeal."

Robin rolled her eyes and groaned. The phone rang again and she batted Patrick's hand out of the way as she answered it.

"Hello?"

"Robin, it's Bruce"

"What do you want?"

"I heard you were in the hospital"

"How did you hear that?"

"It doesn't matter. Are you okay? Is the baby okay?"

"I'm fine and my baby – Patrick's and my baby is just fine as well. Stop calling me Bruce – we are supposed to be doing this through lawyers"

"I'm worried about you."

"Don't be. I'm receiving excellent care and it's really none of your concern."

"Robin, that child could be mine"

"No, it really couldn't. Even when it could have been, it wasn't going to be – it was still going to be mine and Patrick's. Stop calling me."

"Robin…."

"Goodbye Bruce" Robin hung up. Patrick sat up and looked at her. "What?"

"What is it going to take to get that guy out of our lives?"

"He's not going anywhere until our daughter..."

"Son"

"...Child is born so we just need to not stress about it."

"I hate it when you're a grown up"

Robin smiled. "I know and it certainly seems like I'll have my hands full with two children – one a newborn and one who's 30"

"29 thank you very much"

"For another two months- let's face it – you're 30"

"I hate you" he said, leaning in and capturing her lips with his. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip before gently sliding it inside her mouth. He moaned lightly as her tongue met his and she deepened the kiss.

Robin pulled away slowly, taking his bottom lip with her. "You should get going"

"I know" he groused. "I'd rather stay here with you."

"The sooner you go, the sooner you'll be back" she reasoned.

"Fine – no getting out of bed unless it's for food or the bathroom."

"Yes master" she teased.

"I mean it" he said seriously. Robin saluted him and he smirked as he leaned in for one more kiss. "And don't answer the phone if it's Harris."

"God are you ever bossy!"

He smiled as he got off the bed. "You like me bossy"

"In bed, not out"

"Well, I'm going to be bossy out of bed until we get clearance that we can play in bed – so deal with it." He stood and admired her for a minute, wanting for freeze the image of her in his mind. "I'll call you later"

"Okay – be brilliant"

Patrick locked the door behind him and started to walk back to the hospital. He couldn't remember the last time he had spent the night in his hotel room and was convinced, now more than ever, that the house was a good purchase. He couldn't wait to surprise her with it. Ever since Liz had showed him the Pottery Barn web site, he had been spending his spare time ordering furniture. Every place he had lived in since med school had been furnished and somehow he was almost 30 with absolutely no furniture to his name. Everything was supposed to be delivered Thursday and he had booked Friday off so he could spend the day setting it up before surprising Robin.

He stopped into Kelly's to get a coffee for his return to work. "Hi Lulu"

"Dr. Hot Pants – what can I get for you?"

"Hot pants?"

"Don't think about it too much. What would you like?"

"Coffee to go please – what was it your father called you? Gumdrop?"

Lulu poured his coffee. "The thing is Patrick – I'm cute and I sound cute when I use nicknames. You're kind of old and serious – you just sound lecherous using a nickname on me"

"Old?? I am 29"

"Wow – practically 30 – geez, you were almost in high school when I was born"

Patrick shook his head. "Why do I even bother?"

"Beats the heck out of me but I guess you're going for the 'if at first you don't succeed' award?" She handed him his coffee.

Patrick started to head towards the door before stopping and turning around. "Lulu, when are you off?"

"Seriously Patrick, you're cute but way too old for me"

Patrick smirked. "Har! Har! I was wondering if you could do me a favour?"

"Depends"

"Robin is at home on bed rest and if you're off in the next little while, could you run some lunch to her? She's craving chili"

"Why is Robin on bed rest, is she sick?"

"Well she's pregnant and…"

"Robin's pregnant?" Lulu said in surprise.

"I thought everyone knew?"

"Not me but why would anyone tell me anything" she grumbled.

"Oookay. Anyway, do you think you could take some chili and cornbread to her?"

"Sure thing."

"Thanks Lulu."

"Later oldtimer" she teased.

Patrick waved to her as he headed out the door. He had one more stop to make before he prepared for his surgery. He knocked at the office door before poking his head in.

"Do you have a minute?"

"Patrick?" Ric looked up. "This is a surprise. What can I do for you?"

Patrick walked through the door and sat across from him. "I'd like to talk to you about a restraining order against Bruce."

"Did something happen?"

"He found out that Robin was admitted last night and called her at home today. Ric – how did he know? Not to mention that I thought the judge said we were supposed to go through lawyers to communicate."

"You are" he said evenly. "He called her at home to inquire about her hospitalization?"

Patrick nodded. "He needs to back off Ric. Robin doesn't need this kind of stress."

"I agree. I'll see what I can do. I'll also have a chat with Alan – I'm concerned someone may be leaking Robin's medical information to Harris."

Patrick swore. "If that's happening, I want that person fired. I'm going to Nikolas."

"One battle at a time Patrick. I'll start working on a restraining order and speak to Alan. You hold tight for the time being."

"Ric, I can't stand by and do nothing."

"You're not doing nothing. You've brought it to me and now you need to let me do my job."

Patrick stood and jammed his hands in to his pockets. "Keep him away from us Ric because I'm reaching the end of my rope."

"Just don't do anything stupid Patrick. I'll be in touch." Patrick nodded and headed out the door.


	63. Chapter 63

Chapter 63

"Patrick, do you have a minute?"

He looked up from his charts. "Nikolas, come in."

Nikolas sat across from him. "How is Robin?"

"Doing well."

"I've been away in Greece but I heard that she was admitted yesterday."

Patrick nodded. "She was and is on bed rest for the rest of the week but the baby is fine and she's okay."

"And the spectre of Bruce Harris?"

"Will not go away."

Nikolas nodded. He had been kept apprised of hospital business during his trip and was not happy to find that Robin had been splashed all over the papers again by Bruce and his campaign people. The last straw for him was a disturbing meeting he had earlier with Alan who further explained the situation between Bruce and Robin and the possible leak of her medical files. He had been willing to keep business and personal relationships separate but this was crossing a line he was not comfortable with.

"I want you to know that we have begun proceedings to have him removed from the hospital board."

Patrick gave a small smile. "I'm sure that won't go over well."

"Probably not and I know I was lukewarm to your request earlier to have him removed but things have escalated to a scale that I will not tolerate and at the end of the day, Robin is my friend and I will not let anyone walk over her."

Patrick exhaled, unexpectedly relieved that they would no longer have to encounter him in the hospital. "That's great news Nikolas. I'm sure Robin will be grateful."

Nikolas smiled. "And how are you feeling about fatherhood?"

"A little overwhelmed."

"You know, that feeling doesn't actually go away"

"Oh goodie – something to look forward to" he said with a wry smile.

"But the payoff is worth it. I'm really pleased for both of you Patrick" he said, extending his hand.

Patrick stood and shook it. "Thanks for moving on Bruce – I'm indebted to you."

Nikolas shook his head. "No – there are no debts here. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for Robin…and you by extension."

"Thanks again."

xxxxxxx

Robin shuffled to the door. She never would have admitted it but she was somewhat thankful for the bed rest orders. The first trimester and the new meds had exhausted her and she was finding it quite a struggle to keep up. She was almost into her second trimester and hoped things would improve by then.

"Lulu?" Robin was surprised when she opened her door.

"One order of Kelly's chili and cornbread" she grinned as she held up the bag.

"Well don't just stand there, get in here." Robin stood back from the door to let her in.

"Patrick told me you're pregnant – congratulations!"

"Thanks – how are you?"

"Good- I'm supposed to tell you to get on the couch and stay there."

"He's bossing me around through you?" she asked with mock incredulity. "There is no end to his arrogance."

"Oh don't worry – I'm working on making him cry."

Robin giggled as she walked to the couch. "You didn't have to bring this you know."

"Please – my options are visiting with you, going to the Quartermaines or hanging on the dock looking for sailors – did you know that we really don't get any sailors in Port Charles?"

"I hadn't given it much thought" Robin tied her hair up behind her. "Thanks" she said as Lulu set a bowl of chili in front of her. "Are you not eating?"

"Not hungry."

"So what's new Lulu?"

"Not much" she shrugged.

"Come on – I'm stuck on bed rest – what's it like in the outside world?" she joked.

"I'm seeing someone"

"Really? Dish Lu, dish – wait, it's not Dillon is it?"

She shook her head. "No, he's under the impression that he and Georgie are a love story for the ages" she said bitterly.

"Ah – I see."

"Oh well. I met this guy, Darren, at Jake's and he's kind of cool."

"Jake's –what were you doing at Jake's?"

"I dunno, Coleman lets me hang out there sometimes."

"Lu…" Robin began.

"Wow – that mommy voice starts early doesn't it."

Robin laughed. "Fine – no lecture. Tell me more about Darren."

"He works on the docks, he's tall and he likes me."

"On the docks?"

"Didn't you date Jason?"

"This is me refraining from any more judgmental statements" Robin said holding up her hands.

"Are you excited?" Lulu asked.

"About the baby? I am. It's taken me a while to get used to it but I'm loving it."

"Why?" Lulu asked, pulling her legs up underneath her.

"I never thought I would be a mom - with my HIV and all and so I was a little shocked when it all happened."

"But you want the baby, right?"

Robin nodded and unconsciously put her hand over her stomach. "I do – I really do."

"Do you think our parents wanted us or were we a burden to them?"

Robin studied Lulu. There was nearly a decade between them in age but they shared several things in common not the least being an unorthodox upbringing. Robin's parents had been spies, often off on assignment and Lulu's parents were on the run for years before returning to Port Charles. Lulu had been a surprise to Luke and Laura but she had been loved when she was born.

"I remember when you were born" Robin started. "Your dad couldn't stop bragging about you. And then when you were so sick as a little baby, your father and your mother were willing to move heaven and earth to save your life. Luke even put up with Nikolas to save your life" Robin smiled. "We may have been surprises Lu but sometimes the best things in life are a surprise."

"Yeah but I guess I'm just not as exciting as an adventure."

"Your dad was pretty impressed with you in the Maarkhams. You were a true Spencer going after what you wanted"

"You were there too."

"Yeah, but I only came because you invited me along. I mean I wanted to see my dad too but I'm too stubborn to go after him the way you did Luke."

"For all the good it did me. He's been gone all summer and I've not even got a lousy postcard. He may have bragged about me once but I'm not even a distant thought for him. At least Robert is here trying to make things work with you."

Robin smirked. "Sometimes be careful what you wish for. I'm glad he's here but after that many years without my parents being around it takes some getting used to!"

"I bet"

"I swear Lu, if he had the chance he would set a curfew for me."

"But you're about to become a parent yourself."

"Doesn't matter. Once a child, always a child."

"I suppose" she said, twirling her hair around her fingers.

"You know, there's something I've learned about families over the years."

"That there should be a two drink maximum at Thanksgiving?" Lulu said sardonically.

Robin laughed. "Okay, there are two things I've learned – that and that there are two types of families. Families of blood and families of choice. I was lucky – after my parents died or allegedly died, my uncle Mac and Felicia took me in. They were my family but I also got another family – Stone, Brenda, Sonny – your dad, your mom, Miguel, Kevin Collins – they became my friends and my family. So sometimes your blood family can let you down but your other family will always be there for you."

"I hope so" Lulu said wistfully.

"You've got me – we children of unusual parents need to stick together!'

Lulu laughed. "Shouldn't you be back in bed?"

"This counts as bed rest – can I interest in watching Lost?"

"Season two isn't out yet"

"It is, if you download from the net" Robin said, getting the dvds from her cabinet.

"Robin, that's illegal!" Lulu teased.

"What's the point of having spies for parents if you can't get some free shows?"

xxxxxx

Robin and Lulu were on their fourth episode when they heard Patrick's key in the door. Robin turned her head and smiled as Patrick came in.

"Uh oh, Lu – be quiet – the warden is home!" Robin teased.

"Lost? You're watching Lost?" he shook his head. "Lulu…"

"Don't start with me bossypants. You told me to make sure she stayed in bed, you said nothing about what she could watch."

"But I thought you were cool" he whined.

"Please – this coming from a man who wears sweater vests? I forget more about being cool than you will ever know"

"Okay - separate corners both of you!" Robin ordered. Patrick walked over to the couch and kissed her lightly on the lips. "How was surgery?"

"Fine – how was chili"

"Yummy!!" Robin said "And our daughter liked it too."

"You're having a girl?" Lulu asked excitedly.

"No" Patrick said firmly "We are having a boy."

"You know nothing" Robin scoffed.

"I know plenty" Patrick said. His cell phone began to vibrate in his pocket and he fished it out.

"Does he have a single pair of pants that fits him?" Lulu asked as Patrick answered his phone.

Robin shook her head. "Nope and he will not take me shopping with him. I am this close to sending him in to What Not To Wear"

Lulu giggled. "God – can I film the secret footage?"

"Drake?" Patrick said walking away from the couch.

"It's Bruce. Guess what I have on my desk?"

"The next generation in pec implants?"

Bruce exhaled slowly. "I have a restraining order filed by your lawyer"

"And yet you're still calling."

"The order doesn't apply to you, dumbass. I suppose I have you to thank for it being leaked to the media?"

"Not but remind me to tip my lawyer."

"You picked the wrong guy to dance with Patrick."

"Actually you did. I like to lead."

"Yeah, well –the ball is in my court now – I hope you're ready."


	64. Chapter 64

Chapter 64

"Who was that?" Robin asked as Patrick snapped his phone shut.

"I'll tell you later. Lulu, do you want to stay for dinner?"

Lulu looked between Patrick and Robin and stood up. "No, thanks. It would be bad for my rep to be spending time with a married couple like you."

"We're not married" they both said quickly.

"Might as well be." She waved as she headed to the door. "See you later."

Patrick walked her to the door. "Thanks for coming by."

She shrugged. "I'm off tomorrow if you want me to check in on her."

"Actually, that would be great. Thanks Lulu" Patrick closed the door behind her.

Robin pulled her legs up and patted the seat beside her. Patrick sank slowly into the couch. She pressed her lips into his cheek. "Hi" she said softly.

Patrick closed his eyes and put his hand on the back of her head. "Hi yourself."

"Surgery?"

"It was fine." He threaded his fingers through her hair. "How's our son?"

"Daughter"

"Whatever. How are you feeling?"

"Good. I'm at 12 weeks this week – can you believe it – only 6 more months to go!"

Patrick put his hand on her stomach. "And when does he start showing off his kicking skills?"

"She will make herself known to us in about another month or so. Apparently it's hard to figure out what the feeling is at first." Patrick smiled and leaning in, closed his lips over hers. Robin let out a small moan against his mouth.

"So, you want to tell me know who was on the phone?" she asked when she pulled away.

For a brief moment he contemplated lying to her. He didn't want to add to her stress but the honesty they always had between them was something that was enormously important to him. He also knew that lies like that had a way of seeing the bright light of day.

"Bruce."

"Why?" she asked, stiffening slightly.

"I had Ric take out a restraining order against him and he had just received it."

Robin took a deep breath. "And you didn't feel the need to ask me about this?" she inquired carefully.

"Would you have advised something else? You've done nothing wrong Robin nor have I so I'm not sure why you continually feel the need to play fair with him."

"I'm not criticizing but.."

"But nothing. He forced us to go to court, the judge set out the rules of engagement and he broke them. I won't apologize for forcing him to play by his own rules."

"Easy tiger" she said smiling at him. "I guess he didn't take the news too well."

"How can he with an over-inflated ego like his? The restraining order applies to you not me but you need to promise to tell Ric if he violates it at any time."

"I will" she nodded. "You must be tired. Do you want me to order some dinner?"

He shook his head. "I just want to take a shower and go to bed – how about you? Are you hungry?"

"Nope. I won't be opposed to curling up with you" she smiled.

"Okay" he kissed the top of her head. "I'll meet you in bed after my shower"

Robin swore she saw the beginnings of a pout forming on his face. "What's the matter?"

"I just wish you were going to be in the shower with me. A whole week without sex? It's not fair."

"What is the longest you've ever gone without?"

Patrick chewed on his bottom lip. "Probably, at most, four days. You?"

Robin shook her head. "I refuse to answer for fear of being revealed as a weenie."

"I have ways of making you talk" he teased

"Not for the next week you don't"

"It's going to be a long week" he grumbled as he walked to the bathroom.

xxxxxxxx

Robin was sitting up in bed when he finally emerged from the shower, with a towel wrapped around his waist. She let out a huge sigh when he dropped the towel to put on his boxers. He raised his eyebrows when he heard her.

"It's torture" she said.

"What is?" he asked as he slid into bed beside her.

"Looking but not touching"

"You're the one who has to be on bed rest, not me" he shrugged

"So I can touch?" she asked suggestively.

"Sure" he said, smiling back at her. His eyes bugged out as her hand slipped inside his boxers and began to stroke him.

"Ro-Robin what are you doing?" he asked breathlessly.

"Touching you. You said I could"

"I didn't think you wo-wo-would" his voice reacting to the increasing pressure of her touch.

"Wow – who knew how great it feels to have it grow in my hand. Usually you're already there"

Patrick lay back and closed his eyes. "Okay" he exhaled. "You can't talk like that – it makes me hot and you can't keep touching me like that – it makes me hot and I've already had a shower."

Robin let go of him but kept her hand in his shorts. He groaned at the loss of her touch. "Are you saying you don't want me to touch you?"

"I always want you to touch me" his breath was returning to normal "but I can't do what I want to do to you and you can't just give me hand job?"

"Why? Am I not any good at it?"

Patrick swallowed thickly. "Uh, no – just the opposite."

She closed her hand over him. "Then why don't you let me do this for you?" she dropped a kiss on his chest.

"It's not resting – you're supposed to be resting"

She slowly ran her hand over his length, brushing his tip lightly with two fingers. "I'm just lying here." She used her free hand to push his boxers over his hips, Patrick tried to stop her but was powerless to do so as she increased the pace. Stretching up, she seized his lips, kissing him hard. "Just relax and enjoy it."

She ran her tongue down the centre of his chest, letting her teeth graze against his nipples. "Shit" he hissed.

His hand ran down her back. He ached to touch her, be inside her but she continued to stroke him. He closed his eyes and surrendered to the feeling. There was no such thing as having enough of her – Robin was under his skin in a way no other person had ever been. She took his hand and wrapped it around his throbbing erection. Closing her hand over it, they moved in unison, pumping up and down with greater urgency. Robin could tell by looking at him that his orgasm wasn't far.

"I want to watch you come" she said huskily to him.

"Oh god, Robin" His stomach tightened and his breathing became increasingly ragged until he could hold back no longer. Robin smiled as she heard her name tear from his lips.

Still leaning against the pillows with his eyes closed, he panted and tried to catch his breath. "You are a bad girl" he said when he could finally speak.

Robin pressed her lips against his. "You called it – Robin Scorpio – bad girl in disguise."

Patrick grabbed some tissues and cleaned them both up before pulling her into his arms. "I love you" he kissed the back of her neck.

"I love you too" she said sleepily.

Patrick watched as she drifted to sleep. He put his hand over her stomach and felt the bump getting bigger. He loved to touch her stomach and did so at every opportunity. He had never understood why people insisted on touching the bellies of pregnant women but now he did. Touching a pregnant woman fulfilled the desire to be connected to something greater than yourself. He pushed her bangs from her face and watched her eyelashes flutter as she dreamed. He found, of late, his mind wandering to thoughts of his mother. Not if she would like Robin because he was certain of that. But what would she think of the man he had become? Would she be proud? Would she think him successful and a testament to her and his father? What would she think of being a grandmother? He missed her every day but in the last ten years those feelings of loss had become a dull ache. Surprisingly, to him, since he found out they were having a baby, the feelings had been sharper – a tangible reminder of her absence from this hugely important time of his life.

xxxxxx

"Lulu I need your help" Patrick said coming into Kelly's.

"Trying to figure out how to work your Ipod?" she asked smiling.

"And who says comedy is dead" he said sticking his tongue out at her. "Actually, are you off this afternoon?"

"Why, does Robin need more chili? I've been there every day this week with chili and I'm actually afraid your child is going to blow up from all those beans."

Patrick laughed. "Ah, no. I've left Robin some non-chili food for lunch. I'm planning a surprise for her tonight and I was hoping you could help me out."

"Sure – I'm off in an hour."

"Great- I'll pick you up.'

xxxxxx

True to his word, Patrick returned an hour later and drove Lulu to his new house. "What's this?" she asked getting out of the car.

"This Lulu, is what we call a house. People live in it" he joked.

"That wasn't even funny" she scrunched up her face.

"Robin doesn't know I bought it and I finally got it all furnished. I'm going to bring her over tonight and surprise her with it"

"I know you're a doctor and everything –but is it wise to surprise a pregnant woman?"

"I'm not going scare her" he said defensively.

"Whatever – you're allegedly older and wiser. What do you need me to do?"

"I was hoping you could help me set the scene" he said as they walked through the door. "I've never really done anything like this before."

Lulu looked around at all the pricey furniture and let out a low whistle. "Nice place but yup – you need my help."

"Well, pitter patter, let's get at 'er"

She rolled her eyes. "Weird does not even begin to describe you."

They spent the afternoon moving furniture around, putting out special touches. She gave him a list of flowers and candles to buy and he watched in amazement as she prepared three separate floral arrangements and set them up in different rooms. She laid out pillar candles along the table in the sitting room and made a path up the stairs as well. When they finally finished they both stood back and admired their work.

"It looks good" Patrick said appreciatively.

Lulu nodded. "I think Robin will like it. Any girl would"

"Thanks for your help"

"Any time. Are you going to go get her now?"

"Yeah. The sun is going down."

"I'll stay and light the candles just before you guys get here and then I'll take off."

"You're a sweetheart." He kissed her cheek.

"Don't let it get around."

Patrick laughed when he came through the door of the apartment. Robin was dressed in a red dress and high heels. "Going somewhere special?" he asked.

"It's Friday – it's my surprise day. I want my surprise."

"Maybe I've changed my mind."

Robin stood up and walked over to him. She grabbed a fistful of his shirt. "I have been on bed rest for a week, I have not left this apartment in a week. I. Want. My. Surprise"

"You're kind of hot right now – did you know that?"

"Let's go" she said, pulling him out the door by the hand.

xxxxx

She peppered him with questions in the car. "Is it bigger than a breadbox?"

"You could say that."

"It's a large screen tv?" she asked hopefully.

"Uh, no – but it can be negotiated."

Robin raised her eyebrows. "Now I'm more confused." She scrunched her face as they pulled into the driveway. The glow from the candles could be see through the bay windows. "What's this?" she asked.

"Patience" he said, opening her door and helping her out of the car. Unlocking the front door, he took her hand and led her in.

"Patrick?" she looked around in awe. "What are we doing here?"

Patrick pulled a key from his pocket. "I bought this place before I found out you were pregnant. I figured if you and I were going to have any shot at a future then I needed to stop living in a hotel room." Robin smiled. "But now that we have a family on the way, I'm hoping that…you know, when you're ready….that you and our baby will live here with me. But in the meantime, I want to give you this as a sign of how much I love you" he said handing her a key.

Robin looked at the key, around the room and then at him. "Oh" she said in surprise.


	65. Chapter 65

Chapter 65

"Oh?" Patrick said. "I key you and all I get is oh?"

"Give me a minute" she said, smiling "Did anyone ever tell you it's bad to surprise a pregnant woman"

Patrick stared at her expectantly. "Don't toy with me Robin" he said doing a poor of job of concealing his anxiety.

"Patrick, this is a house"

"Thanks for the clarification – are you planning on torturing me for much longer?"

Robin walked from the hallway into the living room. Chocolate brown leather couches were arranged to face the fireplace. The bay windows were deep enough for a window seat. The living room gave onto the dining room through an archway. Robin marveled at the mahogany dining table and credenza.

"Did you buy all this furniture?"

Patrick nodded. "Did you know the Pottery Barn lets you order on line?"

Robin let out a small laugh and turned to face him. "So which is it – are you keying me or are you asking me to move in?"

Patrick exhaled and rolled his eyes. "I want you to move in but until you're ready, I thought I would give you a key." He was surprised at how much his hands were trembling and shoved them into his jeans pockets to hide them.

"And if I'm ready now?"

He looked at her in surprise. "Are you?"

She slowly walked towards him. "Well – we are practically living together now – I mean, when was the last time you actually were at your room at the MetroCourt for more than a change of clothes? And if we don't live together who am I going to send out a 3 in the morning to find me ice cream?" She stopped in front of him and grabbed hold of his belt buckle. "It's beautiful Patrick" she said quietly "and I would love to live here with you."

"Really?" he asked, not moving.

She nodded as she undid his belt buckle. "Yup. And you know what else?"

He shook his head and swallowed thickly as she began to undo the buttons on his shirt. "No, what?"

"I've hit the superhorny phase of my pregnancy and I think the only way to celebrate the fact that we're moving in together is to christen this house" Patrick began to look around the room. "What are you looking for?" she asked as she placed a hot kiss on his chest.

"Cameras" his breath catching slightly "I want to make sure I'm not being punk'd."

Robin looked up grinning. "Why would you think you're being punk'd?" She pushed his shirt from his shoulders and pushed him towards the couch.

"Because you've agreed to move in with me and you're incredibly horny – it's feeling a little like a practical joke."

Robin took his hand and sliding it under her dress, pressed it against her centre. Patrick gasped as he felt her wetness. "Does that feel like a joke?" she asked throatily.

"Sweet jesus Robin. You're…"

"So incredibly ready for you" she smiled as she pushed him over the arm of the couch. Landing on his back, he propped himself up on his elbows.

"Ready and apparently a little violent" he teased.

"You like it"

"I think I might" he said as she pulled his jeans from his legs.

Evidence of his arousal was clear through his boxers. Robin stood beside the couch and pulled her dress over her head. Patrick found himself increasingly aroused by the sight of her rounding belly. He looked her over appreciatively, staring at her breasts. "No bra?" he said hoarsely.

"My breasts are getting bigger" she said cupping them. She smiled as Patrick licked his lips. "And they don't fit so well."

"Are you…are you just going to stand there in front of me naked or are we…"

Robin straddled him and rotated her hips over him, causing him to hiss. She lowered her head to his and kissed him urgently. She thrust her tongue into his mouth, leaving him breathless with her aggression. His hands went to her hair and then down her back. He kissed her shoulder as she ran her hands down his chest. Patrick pressed his hips into her and Robin moaned his name.

Sitting up, he gently switched positions so that she was lying underneath him. He assaulted her neck with his tongue, leaving swirl patterns in its wake. He gently palmed her breasts and she giggled as Patrick's eyes began to darken with desire.

"They ARE bigger" he said huskily. She arched further into his hands.

"You like?" she asked. He lowered his head to her right breast and lashed her nipple with his tongue. Robin shuddered underneath his touch. He moved to the left breasts and circled her nipple with his tongue before closing his mouth over it.

"Fuck" she exhaled.

Patrick slid his hand down her torso to her panties. He traced her outline through the lace. "Now is that any way for a mother to be to talk?" He moved down her body and placed a kiss on her centre over her panties. Robin's hips began to buck. Hooking his finger through the sides of her panties, he pulled them from her hips and tossed them to the floor. He paused, staring at her.

"What?" she said moving her body towards him, aching for his touch.

"You're so beautiful. I love looking at you."

Robin gave him a feline smile. "That's really sweet, but really, less looking, more touching" she said urgently.

He chuckled. "You mean like this" he said slipping two fingers inside her.

"Aaahhh – yeah" she arched her body off the couch, pulling his fingers in deeper.

Patrick began to slowly pump in and out of her, ignoring her pleas to go faster. Blindly, she reached for him and hastily pulled his boxers over his hips. She lightly ran her fingers over his arousal, feeling it throb in her hands. Patrick tried to move out of her reach as he covered her body in kisses but her hand clamped down around him.

"Inside.me.now." she panted.

Patrick reached for his wallet and pulling out a condom, covered himself in record time before entering her. His thrusting was slow and deliberate and he watched Robin's face as she teetered on the brink. Every time she was ready to fall into her climax, he would pull back, leaving her begging for release.

"Please Patrick" she implored. "I can't take any more"

He captured her lips with his and sucked greedily on her tongue that she had thrust into his mouth. He increased his pace and moved his lips to her ear as her orgasm began. "That's it baby, I love feeling you come" he whispered into her ear. His breath on her skin only heightened the sensations for her. She raked her hands down his back and felt him shuddering as he finally gave into his own release.

He collapsed on top of her, breathless. She covered his face with kisses, pushing his damp hair from his face. "I think I'm going to like this phase of my pregnancy" she said quietly.

"Me too Scorpio – me too."

xxxxx

Once recovered, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her up the stairs. "Where are we going?" she asked kissing his shoulder.

"There's a whole other floor for us to explore" he said seductively, feeling himself stir again.

xxxxxx

Waking in the morning, she looked around the bedroom and smiled. Normally resistant to change, she felt completely comfortable in the bed and in the house. Just when she didn't think she could love him more, he would surprise her. She slowly peeled the sheets back and sat up.

"Where are you going?" he mumbled, reaching for her.

"I have an appointment with Kelly." She leaned back and brushed against his lips.

"It's Saturday" he complained.

"I know but she's on today and she wanted to follow up after the week of bed rest."

"I'll come with you" he offered, sitting up.

"You don't have to" she said as she pulled her dress back on.

"I want to" he reached for his jeans. "Let's go back to your place and shower and then head to the hospital."

"Sounds like a plan" she zipped up her dress. "Hey Patrick?"

"Yeah?"

"I like our new house"

xxxxxx

Robin sat on the exam table as Kelly took her blood pressure. She knew by the look on her face that she wasn't pleased. "Is it too low still?" she asked.

Kelly shook her head. "No – we seem to have regulated that by returning you to your original protocol. It's a little on the high side and that doesn't make me happy."

"But you said everything looks good for the baby" Patrick said.

"The baby seems fine but Robin, it's awfully early in your pregnancy to be having blood pressure issues. By definition you are already a high risk pregnancy and so I know you're going to hate this but I have to insist that you stop working."

"No – come on Kel – I can stick to paperwork" Robin was disappointed.

Kelly grinned. "Who do you think you're talking to Robin? I know you - you couldn't stick to paperwork if I promised you a million dollars. You would try and then a case would come along that you couldn't resist. I know it sucks but for your health and that of the baby – I'm putting you off work. I also want you to refrain from any heavy lifting or unnecessary stress."

"But can I walk and stuff?"

Kelly nodded. "Absolutely. But no running, no biking, no swimming"

"What about sex?" Patrick asked quickly.

She smirked. "I'm surprised you two held back this long from asking that. Sex is fine – nothing too intensive like swinging from chandeliers"

"Awww" Patrick whined.

Kelly rolled her eyes. "You'll have to wait for that one. Look at this way Robin, this is probably the only time in your life where you're going to be given permission to sit back and put your feet up – enjoy it."

"I know" she grumbled. "But I like to work"

"I know you did and I know this will be hard for you but it has to be done."

"Thanks Kelly" Patrick said.

"Anytime. I'll see you guys next week"

Robin pouted as Kelly left. "What the heck am I going to do for the next six months if I can't work?"

"Get ready to be a mom?" he offered.

"Easy for you to say no one is sending you home" she grumbled.

"We have our new house, we have tons of baby stuff to buy – the time will pass quickly Robin."

"I know, I just hate not being able to work."

"Let's go" he offered his hand. "We can start by moving some clothes over today"

xxxxx

Robin's mood didn't improve much over the course of the weekend. Work had always been her refuge and her reward. She knew what she was doing in a lab and she loved her job. Taking time off always seemed self-indulgent to her and now to have six months of it, she was convinced she might actually lose her mind.

She continued to grumble as they set up their bedroom. The room was enormous with windows on two sides. The natural light reflected off the hardwood floors and gave a natural warmth to the room. Patrick had chosen a king size sleigh bed, saying something about how "chicks dig that sort of thing". The truth was, his parents had a sleigh bed and he had always thought of them as magic. Robin was hanging up the rest of her clothes in the walk in closet when they heard a knock at the door.

"Can you get that Robin?" Patrick asked as he hung one of her prints from Paris over the bed.

"I thought Nathalie and the kids weren't coming until tomorrow?"

"They aren't"

"Then who is it?"

"I don't know Robin" he said slowly "but I suspect you may be able to figure it out if you answer the door."

She stuck her tongue out at him as she left the room. Patrick sat on the bed and waited as he heard her go down the stairs.

"Oh my god!!" he heard her scream.

He looked at his watch.

Brenda was right on time.


	66. Chapter 66

Chapter 66

Chapter 66

"Brenda! What are you doing here?" Robin screamed, launching herself into her best friend's arms.

"What? Like I need an excuse to come and visit my very favourite person in the world?"

"I do think you mentioned something about coming back to Port Charles if there was a nuclear apocalypse but not before."

"Yeah, well my godchild trumps all."

"Come in" Robin said, holding open the door.

Brenda stepped through the door and taking off her sunglasses took an admiring look around the house. "Nice digs"

"Thanks…hey – how did you know to come here?" Robin asked, suddenly suspicious.

"It's possible a little birdie told me about your new house."

"Who are you calling little?" Patrick said coming down the stairs. Brenda smiled and winked at him.

Robin turned to him, surprise etched on her face. "You? Are you trying to make me fall in love with you or something?" she teased.

"Is it working?" he asked as he kissed the side of her head. "Hi Brenda, how was your flight?"

"Good – god I know I'm a snob but I love first class."

"Where are your bags?" Robin asked "because I know there is no way you traveled with just your purse."

"I'm capable of packing light" she said defensively.

"Hey Patrick, look out the window – pigs are flying" Robin joked.

"So when do those kind, maternal hormones kick in?" she asked walking into the living room and flopping on the couch. She nodded approvingly as she looked around the room. "Nicely done Dr. Hottie."

Patrick's cheeks flushed slightly. "Thanks."

"Hello? There is a question pending – where are your bags? Oh god – don't tell me, you had to ship them on a cargo plane?" Robin sat down beside her.

"Why do I put up with you? Your boyfriend very graciously offered me your old apartment. I dropped my bags there and came over lickety-split."

Robin looked over at Patrick grinning. "You know there aren't any actual boyfriend of the year awards"

Patrick put his hands on his hips. "There aren't? Screw that then, Brenda you'll have to go."

"Not a chance Dimples, hell froze over, I'm back in PC – I'm staying!"

Robin giggled and hugged her friend again. "I can't believe you're here."

"Patrick was afraid you might go insane not being able to work for the next six months"

"And what is he thinking you can do about it?" she teased.

"Show you what insane really is?" Brenda offered. "Oh my god – look at your little Buddha belly!" she put her hand over Robin's stomach.

"I'm getting fat!" Robin whined good-naturedly. "None of my clothes fit"

"We are so totally shopping for maternity clothes while I'm here"

Patrick returned with a tray of drinks. "Here you go ladies – have at it."

"You're not staying?" Robin said, reaching for his hand.

"I'll be upstairs, away from all this estrogen" he smiled. "Besides Nat and the kids are coming tomorrow, I want to make sure the rooms are ready." He headed back up the stairs.

Brenda turned back to Robin. "So how bummed are you?"

"About not working? Pretty bummed. Six months Brenda – I've never been without something to do for six minutes let alone six months – what will I do?"

"You will shop and eat and do mommy yoga and let Patrick take care of you."

"Grrreat – all things I'm really good at" she said sarcastically.

"It'll be fine and I can stay as long as you want – it'll be so much fun to hang out – just like old times"

Brenda put her hands back on Robin's stomach. "I can't believe you have a little one inside there."

"Me either. Patrick and I have a bet as to the sex. I think it's going to be a girl."

"Well of course it's going to be a girl – the world already has enough stinky boys. Speaking of stinky boys, what's new with the New York idiot?"

"Bruce?"

"Is there another idiot in your life?"

Robin chuckled. "It's under control.

"Really?" she asked arching her eyebrow.

"Yes – let's not talk about him. Let's talk about your goddaughter"

"You don't have to name her Brenda you know" she said seriously.

"Thanks for that! You know we haven't talked about names yet"

"Whaaat? You don't have a lot of time – you have to get boys names and girls names and then whittle them down to your top ten for each and then compare each other lists – you may want to consider a spreadsheet"

"I think my head just exploded" Robin teased.

xxxxxxx

Brenda and Robin talked well into the afternoon. Patrick remained upstairs, hanging shelves and smiling as he heard screams of laughter coming from downstairs. Robin had friends here and he had seen her interact with them but there was something about watching her with her best friend, the person she was the most unguarded with that intrigued him. He had often wondered what Robin had been like as a teenager and Brenda was one of the people who had been there for it all. There was definitely a shorthand to their conversations – like he and Andrew. Patrick put the drill down and sat on the bed in the guest bedroom. He missed having that person in his life – the one who knew your secrets and knew how you were without having to ask. Robin was very much that to him now but he was missing that link back to his life before. Andrew knew what his family was like before it had been blown apart and knew how that had shaped him. He was glad that Nathalie and the kids were coming. They were his link to Andrew. He saw so much of his friend in Grace that he wondered if that's why he loved her so much. He got off the bed and finished the shelves.

When he finally came downstairs, Brenda was alone on the couch. "Where's Robin?" he asked.

"She went to lie down but made me promise that I would stay for dinner."

Patrick sat in the couch opposite her. "She's still pretty tired. I think the combination of her meds and the hormones throw her for a loop."

Brenda nodded. "This is a good thing you've done here Patrick. I'm impressed."

"Thanks."

"Robin wouldn't tell me but I'm hoping you will."

"What?"

"How bad are things with Bruce?"

Patrick blew out his cheeks. "Pretty bad. I had to take out a restraining order to stop him from calling Robin at home or work. It's bad enough that he's still trying to pretend he could be the father but he just won't leave her alone."

"Why do you think that is?"

"I don't know – hadn't you met him before?"

"I did. He, Robin and I went to quite a few parties together when I would visit in Paris."

"Did you know that he was this big an asshole?"

Brenda shook her head. "I never liked and Robin knew that but Patrick, he was really kind to her in Paris. He took good care of her, included her in things – made sure she didn't hide in her apartment, so I know why Robin trusted him when they started dating."

"But Brenda, even now, she doesn't seem that willing to push him back. Her father, her uncle and even Sonny have all offered to take him out one way or another but she wont' hear it. She even gets upset when I yell at him."

"Patrick" she sighed "Robin will always be the last person to give up on someone. It's one of the many reasons why I love her but it has and will continue to get her in trouble. She stayed with Jason when she should have walked, she testified for Tony Jones after he kidnapped her, she…"

"What? Kidnapped? Tony Jones?" Patrick was beginning to feel like Port Charles existed in a parallel dimension.

"Ouf. It's a complicated story involving Carly, Michael and unfortunately Robin. Tony had taken Michael and Robin had figured it out. Robin being Robin thought she could reason with Tony who was clearly off his nut. Instead he grabbed her and held her. The worst part was she hadn't been on her meds very long and was without them. She got really, really sick – she had the flu and was in the hospital."

"Jesus" Patrick swore. "She could have gone into full blown AIDS"

Brenda nodded. "Even after all that, she refused to give up on Tony and testified on his behalf." Patrick nodded, realizing that it was exactly something that Robin would do. "So my guess is that she still believes that the nice guy who was her friend in Paris is in Bruce still and that if she gives him enough time he'll come through for her."

"I don't think that's going to happen Brenda."

"Probably not. You seem worried" she added.

"I am – hers is a high risk pregnancy and it makes me crazy that he could impact it. If something were to happen to her or the baby because of him, I could kill him – I mean literally kill him"

"You'd have to get in line behind me. No one and I mean no one gets to hurt Robin."

Patrick smiled. "In case you were wondering, I picked up on the veiled threat to me there."

"Good" she smiled. "You're not as dumb as you look."

Robin came bounding down the stairs causing them both to look up in surprise. "Robin?" Patrick asked in concern.

"She moved – I felt her move!!" she said holding her stomach.

"Are you sure it isn't gas?" Patrick asked.

Robin stood in front of him and put her hand on her stomach. She pressed it hard against her and waited. Patrick was about to pull his hand away when his eyes widened in surprise.

"That…that little flutter?" he asked dumbfounded.

"Is our baby" Robin said, suddenly welling with tears.

Patrick put both hand on her stomach. "Hi little one" he said into her stomach. "This is your daddy talking"

The reality that he was really going to be a father hit him with such force that it nearly left him breathless. He too felt his eyes well with tears. It was all becoming increasingly real for him. He pulled Robin to him and kissed her stomach.

"I love you" he whispered. As he looked up at Robin, she wiped at his tears.

"Are you two quite done with your Oprah moment?" Brenda teased.

"Yup" Patrick stood up quickly. "I think her hormones are catching" he wiped his eyes and kissed Robin on the mouth. "I'll get dinner started.

Brenda hugged Robin. "He's the one, isn't he?" she asked.

Robin nodded her head against Brenda's shoulder. "You have no idea."


	67. Chapter 67

Chapter 67

He lay on the ground, begging for mercy. His face a bloodied pulp. "I'm sorry" he whimpered. "I take it all back"

Robert drove his fist into his face again. "You should never have disrespected my daughter"

"Please" he begged.

Patrick wound up and kicked him in the ribs. The contact from his shoe resulting in a sickening crack of bones. "I warned you to stay away from my girlfriend"

Bruce curled into a ball trying to protect himself from the blows raining down on him from Sonny, Mac and Nikolas. He let out a blood-curdling scream as Brenda drove her four inch spike heel through his hand.

"Oh god – I'm sorry I'm sorry. Make it stop"

Patrick spit in his face. "You aren't fit to scrape gum off her shoe"

"I know" he whimpered, holding his bloody hand.

"Say it – say it you bastard!" he screamed at him.

"I…I…I'm not fit to scrape gum off her shoe."

Patrick's eyes flew open and he let out a soft laugh. Robin lifted her head from his chest. "Why are you laughing?" she asked groggily.

He stroked the back of her hair. "I just had a dream – go back to sleep" he said, kissing the top of her head. Robin mumbled and snuggled up closer to him before drifting back to sleep.

xxxxx

When he woke up again, he found his bed empty. Groaning, he rolled out of bed and headed to the shower. By the time he came downstairs, Robin was showered, changed and had coffee brewing.

"What's that smell?" he asked coming into the kitchen, pulling his t-shirt over his head.

"Banana chocolate chip muffins. I thought Grace might like them. They're going to be here soon, aren't they?"

"You're supposed to be resting" he rebuked her gently while pouring coffee.

"I mixed flour, eggs, bananas and chocolate chips – I wasn't building the Empire state building."

"So the decaf really isn't working for you is it?" he teased.

"No" she grumbled. "Have I thanked you for bringing Brenda to town?"

"Yes – twice last night. Have I mentioned how much I love this phase of your pregnancy?"

The buzzer rang and Robin pulled the muffins from the oven. As she set them down on the rack to cool she was struck by how peaceful she felt. Domesticity suited her and for the first time in a long time she felt that she was where she belonged. She had thought about bolting back to Paris several times after her return. The first time being when her drug therapy failed Jason. She had been devastated that the one person she wanted to help, she couldn't. Even after the encephalitis outbreak she wasn't sure about staying. She had been happy to be among family and friends again but it never quite felt right. Though she wouldn't admit it at the time, she like sparring with Patrick because it was a way of being challenged, feeling alive. She never could have imagined all those months ago that this would be where she would end up but now that she was here, she was truly home.

She was pulled from her thoughts by the ringing doorbell.

"I'll get it" Patrick said. He walked to the door and smiled as he saw Nathalie holding Grace's hand and Oliver in the baby carrier strapped to her chest.

"Hi" he said opening the door.

"Please hurry" she implored "I'm feeling like a pack mule"

"Patty, Patty Patty" Grace jumped up and down in front of him.

"Hi sweetstuff"

"Pick me up!!"

"Let's get your momma in here first and then I'll pick you up." Patrick held the door while taking the bags from Nathalie. Robin came around the corner, smiling shyly.

"Hi Nathalie – I'm so glad you could make it."

"Hi Robin – gosh – you look beautiful"

Robin blushed at the compliment. "Can I take something from you? How about Oliver?"

"You wouldn't mind?" she said, undoing the baby carrier.

"Not at all" she held out her arms and took the sleeping baby from her. "Come on in and have a seat."

"Patty! Now – pick me up now!" Grace demanded.

Nathalie sank to the couch. "Who knew the terrible twos could extend into the terrible threes?"

Patrick picked her up and sat her on his knee. "Hey Gracie-lou – got a kiss for me?" She squeezed his cheeks with her hands and kissed him all over his face. "That was a lot of kisses" he said.

"I missed you" she said shyly, curling up to him.

"Do you remember my friend Robin?" Patrick asked, motioning to her.

Grace nodded. "Hi"

"Hi Grace – did you have a good time on the airplane?"

"I did. They gave me stickers!" she said proudly.

"You're a lucky girl." She smiled as Patrick held a protective arm around Grace. "Nathalie I have fresh coffee and muffins – are you interested?"

"God yes" she said gratefully.

Robin went to the kitchen and returned with a tray of coffee and muffins. "Gracie do you know what a treasure hunt is?" she asked.

"Yes"

"Well I've got one in the backyard – do you want to come and help me find the treasure?"

"Mommy can I?"

"Of course - but you be gentle with Robin" she warned her. Robin stood and passed Oliver to Patrick and held out her hand for Grace to take. Grace scrambled from Patrick's lap and happily took Robin's hand.

"Do I look that bad?" Nathalie asked after Robin had gone outside.

"What do you mean?" he asked, patting Oliver's hair.

"Robin leaving us alone to talk."

"I'm sure she just wanted to make sure you had some quiet time. But since we are alone – how are you?"

"Better than the last time we spoke"

"How much better?" he asked, studying her face.

"Not that much but I've stopped snapping at the kids."

"That's a start. Are you sleeping at all?"

She shrugged. "Sometimes. I dream about him all the time and I wake up crying. I know it's ridiculous but I still can't believe he's gone."

"It's not ridiculous – I can't either. We felt the baby move last night and honestly, Nat, I reached for the phone to call him. I had it in my hands when I remembered that he wasn't there."

"You felt the baby move? Aw, Patrick – that's great"

"We can talk about my domesticity later. I'm worried about you – have you talked to anybody?"

"Like who?"

"Like a therapist or a grief counselor?"

She shook her head. "I don't need therapy. I just need to get through this and I'll be fine."

"Nat – you can't power your way through this…"

"Are you seeing a therapist?" she asked quickly.

"No but I'm not struggling in the same way you are"

"So, I'm falling to pieces like the typical weak woman and you're being all big strong man about it?" her voice dripped with sarcasm.

Patrick's face softened as he looked at her. "You're really angry" he said quietly.

"I'm sorry" she covered her face with her hands. "God, I just…I didn't mean to snap"

"You can snap at me all you want – it's what I'm here for."

"Can we talk about something else for a while?"

Patrick smiled. "Sure. Like what?"

"How about you and Robin?"

He smirked. "Oh dear – what do you want to know?"

She looked around the room. "What is all this Patrick?"

"I'm settling down"

"So the player goes out with a whimper and not a bang?" she teased.

"Weren't you the one who told me everyone has to retire their blackbook at some point? And Robin is worth it. Honestly Nat – she's ruined me for other women" Nathalie began to look through her purse. "What are you looking for?" he asked.

"My diary – this day has to be marked down – Patrick Drake, ruined for other women."

"You're a brat, you know that right?" She laughed at him. "It's good to hear you laugh."

"I'm not all doom and gloom you know. I have my moments." She tucked her hair behind her ears. "I'm so happy for you P – Robin seems terrific."

"She is. She is still the single most frustrating and stubborn human being I know but I love her for it."

"Talking about me again?" Robin asked as she came into the room with Grace.

Patrick winked at her. "So, Gracie-lou, what kind of treasure did you find?"

"2 colouring books an pencils an crayons"

"Wow – you'll be a busy girl." Grace walked to him and tried to climb into his lap. "Sweetie, I've got Oliver in my arms. Why don't you sit with Robin?"

"No! I want to sit with you" she stamped her foot.

"Oliver is sleeping. You can sit with me later."

"NO! NOW!" Gracie slapped her brother "Get out!! Oliver GET OUT!!"

Patrick stood up quickly, pulling Oliver out of the line of fire. "Gracie – stop that!"

"You come here right now, young lady" Nathalie said sternly.

"NO! I HATE YOU!!" she raged. Her tiny face was red and crumpled as she stamped her feet.

Nathalie looked like she had just been slapped. "Grace, that's enough. Come here right now"

"I HATE YOU! I wish Daddy had lived and you had died!!"

There was complete silence in the room as her words hung in the air. Patrick walked to Nathalie and handed Oliver to her. Walking back to Grace, he picked her up. "Grace and I are going to have a talk, outside"

"Patrick, you don't have to" Nathalie said wearily.

"You just stay here." He walked out to the kitchen with Grace in her arms.

Nathalie turned to Robin. "You must regret inviting us."

"Not at all. I'm glad you're here."

"We don't get invited anywhere much between my spontaneous crying and Gracie's temper tantrums."

Robin smiled sympathetically. "It was almost two years before I stopped crying at the drop of a hat when my boyfriend died."

"Really?" she wiped at tears that suddenly formed.

Robin nodded. "I would think everything was fine and I'd be walking somewhere and I'd smell something familiar and next thing I knew I was in a flood of tears."

"The memories just seem to come from nowhere"

"It gets better but it sucks in the meantime."

Nathalie laughed. "You're the first person to say that to me. Everyone else is so full of platitudes and hallmark greetings. 'you'll get through it' 'one day at a time'"

"Yeah. It's not that helpful. It hurts like hell and there's no way around it – the only way is through."

"I can see why he loves you."

Robin blushed. "He's pretty great."

"He's changed a lot. Drew and I used to talk quite a bit about Patrick. He was worried that he would run so far from any connection that he would be isolated."

"Patrick and I have that in common – we both like to hide – in different ways but we do it."

"His mother's death fundamentally changed who he was."

"Death does that. Once you've lost someone you either hold on to nothing or you hold on to everything really tightly."

"Which did you do?" Nathalie asked curiously.

"A bit of both. When Stone died I held on to my friends and my family but things happened and a few years later I found myself running to Paris so that I could be away from anyone that mattered."

Nathalie nodded. "If I didn't have the kids, I would be somewhere else – Australia, Africa – anywhere that doesn't remind me of him" She shook her head. "I'm sorry Robin, this is awfully morbid talk and you've got such happiness happening in your life right now."

"Nathalie, it's okay to talk about this. I try to get Patrick to talk about his feelings for Andrew but he doesn't."

"Never one of his strengths. He's incredibly self aware or at least he has been in the years that I've known him but getting him to talk is like pulling teeth."

Robin rolled her eyes. "Don't I know it – it's a good thing he's cute"

Nathalie giggled. "Don't tell him that – his ego is large enough!"

"God, don't I know it." Robin watched as Nathalie tried to stifle a yawn. "Why don't you go upstairs and have a nap. I can take Oliver, Patrick has Grace – just lie down and enjoy the silence."

Nathalie considered Robin's offer. "Are you sure you wouldn't mind?"

Smiling, Robin said, "Not at all. The whole point of this visit is to catch up with Patrick but also to relax. We have a couple of friends joining us for dinner tonight but other than that there are no plans."

"Are you sure?"

Robin reached for Oliver. "Come on, I'll show you the upstairs." The two women made their way to the guest bedrooms and Nathalie gratefully settled in. Robin headed back downstairs with Oliver in her arms.

Walking to the backyard, she smiled as she saw Patrick reclining in a chair on the deck with Grace asleep in his arms. Robin quietly sat down beside him. "I just sent Nathalie upstairs for a nap."

Patrick nodded. "She cried herself to sleep" he said motioning to Grace. "She's an angry little girl and she has an angry mother."

"Well they are both lucky to have you. Maybe this visit will help them work through some of that. You have a way with Grace that's for sure and Nathalie adores you."

"I need them to be okay Robin. After everything that's happened, I need them to be okay."

Robin reached out and touched his arm. "They will be" she said confidently.

"I hope so because I don't know what I do without them."


	68. Chapter 68

Chapter 68

Chapter 68

Robin sat in front of the television watching the fourth Dora the Explorer video in a row while Patrick worked on the dinner preparations in the kitchen. Grace was in her lap, completely entranced by Dora while Oliver slept in his car seat beside the couch.

"You should really let me help you, you know" she called over to him.

"How many times do I have to tell you? Barbecues are the domain of men."

"I'm just impressed you refrained from grunting while you said that."

"Grunting is stupid – I'm too evolved for that."

"Patty" Gracie called without taking her eyes from the screen. "Stupid is a bad word"

Robin stuck her tongue out at her boyfriend. "Yeah Patty, stupid is a bad word"

Patrick rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm going to continue working on my super duper secret recipe chicken. You guys should go back to watching Flora"

"It's Dora!" they both said at the same time.

"Whatever" he mumbled, smiling.

He stood and watched as Robin and Grace returned their attention to the television. Grace was curled into Robin's lap and had her tiny hand in one of Robin's. Robin used her other free hand to stroke Gracie's blonde hair. In that moment, Patrick had a glimpse of his future. He couldn't wipe the smile from his face as he imagined many a lost afternoon spent with Robin and their baby. He had always been so career minded and eschewed the idea of settling down. He had assumed that family life would be boring, that settling down would be akin to settling. But now, seeing it unfold before him he couldn't imagine anything more exciting.

Gracie looked up when she heard the doorbell ring. "Can I get it?" she asked.

"Sure" Robin said, helping her down from the couch. Patrick laughed as he watched her sprint to the door.

Gracie looked through the clear door. "You're pretty" she said loudly.

"Thanks" Lulu laughed. "Can I come in?"

"Okay" she shrugged. Lulu opened the door and came through. She immediately bent down to eye level. "My name is Lulu"

"I'm Gracie and I'm three"

"Wow – three! That's great"

"Come on" she said pulling her hand. "Dora is on"

"Hi guys" Lulu called to Robin and Patrick as Grace dragged her to the television set.

"I see you've met Gracie" Patrick said "So glad we could provide you someone your own age to play with" he teased.

"Kids have an innate ability to recognize cool, that's why she's drawn to me – oof!" Gracie plopped into Lulu's lap.

Turning to face her, she began to twirl Lulu's hair around her fingers. "I like your name, it's funny"

"Thanks. I like your name too – Gracie is a cool name."

"I'm cool?" she asked.

"You sure are – look at you – you're watching Dora that makes you very cool."

"That's good?"

"Very good. You see Patrick over there?" she said pointing to him in the kitchen. "He is so not cool"

Grace eyed him and looked back at Lulu. "Yeah – not cool"

Robin snaked her hands around Patrick's waist. "Oh dear – I think you've been dumped."

He put his hand over his chest. "God, my heart is shattering"

"Can I kiss and make it better?" she asked wiggling her eyebrows.

"Not here you can't because I'll want you to kiss more than my heart" he said, bussing her lips.

Robin looked over at the girls watching television and seeing they were completely distracted, stood on her tiptoes and pulled Patrick's lips to hers. She gently coaxed her tongue in his mouth and he let out a tiny sigh as her tongue met his. He cupped her face, deepening the kiss only to be interrupted by the doorbell a second time.

"I'll get it!!" Grace called, sprinting back to the door. She pushed the door open. "I'm Grace and I'm three" she announced proudly.

"I'm Brenda and I'm way older than three" she smiled at the little girl. "Are you Patrick's friend?"

"Yup – Patty is my favouritist person in the whole world."

Brenda walked through the door. "That's great – you know what?"

She shook her head. "What?"

"Robin is my favouritist person in the whole world – do you think that means we'll be friends?"

"Of course" Grace said confidently.

Brenda took her hand and walked to the kitchen. She hugged Robin and gave Patrick a quick peck on the cheek. "Wine" she handed the bottle to Patrick.

He whistled. "Nice bottle."

"Nothing but the best." She turned to Robin. "Oh don't pout – there will be plenty of time for you to drink wine later"

"Says the person who isn't pregnant" Robin grumbled.

Lulu shyly approached the group in the kitchen. Grace walked back to her and took her hand. "Hi" she said to Brenda "I'm…"

"You're Lulu Spencer" Brenda smiled back at her. "I knew your mom really well and you are the spitting image of her – just as beautiful."

"Thanks – that's really nice of you to say. You were her model weren't you?"

"Face of Deception" Brenda said.

Patrick narrowed his eyes. "I knew I recognized you from somewhere."

Brenda raised her hands. "Don't you dare tell me you had my photo on your bedroom wall or that you …never mind" she said looking at Grace.

"No worries there" Patrick said. "There she is" he said looking at the entrance of the kitchen.

Nathalie wiped the sleep from her eyes. "Yeah, sleeping beauty – that's me"

"Mommy" Grace ran to her holding her arms up. Nathalie picked her up.

"How long was I out?"

"About six hours – obviously you needed it" Robin said.

"I'm Brenda Barrett" she said, extending her hand.

"Nathalie Walker"

"That's Lulu" Grace pointed to her.

"Hi – Lulu Spencer"

"Why don't we go in and sit down?" Patrick suggested.

Robin went and rescued a squawking Oliver from his car seat. They all settled in into the leather couches in the front room and Patrick served everyone a glass of wine and giving juice to Robin and Grace.

"Bottoms up Grace" Robin clinked her glass.

"Bottoms up" she mimicked. Once again, she climbed into Patrick's lap.

"That's quite a fan you have there Patrick" Brenda remarked.

"She's my girl" he said, kissing the top of her head.

"Patrick was the first person to see Grace when she was born" Nathalie said.

"Really?" Brenda asked. "You let him in the delivery room and he saw…..all of it?"

Nathalie giggled. "My husband, though a doctor himself, was completely useless in the delivery room. Said he was too freaked out to go 'south'. So he stayed 'north' and Patrick caught Grace"

"And I didn't pass out once" he said proudly.

"How did you meet Patrick?" Lulu asked.

Nathalie smirked. "Well, he's Andrew's best friend though I feel compelled to tell you about the first time Patrick and I came face to face."

"Nathalie" Patrick shot her a warning look.

Robin elbowed Patrick. "Shush! Let Nathalie talk – we are finally getting to the juicy stuff."

"Nat – please- I'm outnumbered" he pleaded.

"Patrick was a little tied up the first time we met."

"Nat"

"Shhhh!" the other three women said to him.

"Start dishing" Brenda said, tucking her legs underneath her.

"Well, Andrew and Patrick were huge troublemakers when they were together. They were always trying to one up each other and egging the other one on. Drew and I had just started dating. He had only been living in Washington for a few months and being a Manhattan boy was a hard core Giants fan"

"Giants, please" Lulu snorted. "He probably likes the Yankees too"

"Hey!" Patrick protested.

"Drew invited Patrick to come for the weekend and the Giants were playing the Redskins. So Dumb and Dumber" Nathalie laughed pointing to Patrick

"Mommy dumb is a bad word" Grace piped up.

"You tell her sweetie" Patrick kissed the top of her head.

"You're right Gracie, I'm sorry. So these two wander off to a bar in Georgetown and start drinking waaaaay in advance of the game. I have no idea how they were even sitting up at kick off but they were. The Giants got out to an early lead and these two decided to start mouthing off in a bar full of Skins fans."

"You really aren't very bright are you?" Robin teased.

"Oh it gets better" Nathalie continued. "My husband and Patrick shared quite a few things in common, not the least being they were both too pretty to fight."

"I can rumble" Patrick said defensively.

"Please" Lulu interjected "Didn't you get into a bar fight on your date with Emily and left her to do the heavy lifting?"

"Oh dude – tell me you didn't" Brenda said shaking her head.

"Too much estrogen, there is too much estrogen in this room" he mumbled.

"So what happened?" Robin asked.

"They lost the fight. In fairness, the guys who beat their butts let them make one phone call before finishing the job. Drew called me to come and get them. When I got to the bar, these two were taped to a lamppost, completely naked with Redskins Rule written in lipstick over their bodies. So my first encounter with Patrick was a naked one"

All the women laughed as Patrick shook his head. Robin looked knowingly at Patrick and snickered as he silently pleaded with her to stay quiet.

"It's funny that your first meeting with him was naked – so was mine" Robin piped up.

"I hate you – you realize this, right?"

"Tell me more" Nathalie said.

"I was looking for the great Patrick Drake neurosurgeon and I had been told he could be found in the OR. When I threw open the doors, he was in the OR all right, naked on the table with a nurse"

Nathalie gasped "Patrick you are a dog!!"

"Was a dog – I was a dog" he clarified. "Brenda – please tell me you have embarrassing stories about Robin."

"I do but it would violate our code to tell you – though I'm not sure the skinny dipping in the Trevi fountain falls under the code"

Robin blushed to her roots. "It does Bren, it really really does."

Patrick smiled evilly. "I will buy you a pair of Prada shoes to hear that story"

"God – you even said Prada in the respectful hushed tones" Brenda remarked.

"I did – now spill it."

"Sorry sis" Brenda said.

"Brenda no – come on…I won't make you godmother" she threatened.

"I will" Patrick promised.

"Okay" Brenda took a big gulp of wine "We had been out all night at this great club in Rome. My friend had got us into the VIP room and we drank for free. Don't let Robin's little frame fool you – that girl can drink like a lumberjack"

"I know" Patrick said, licking his lips.

"So we're with these guys Giovanni and – who was your guy?"

"Paolo" Robin muttered.

"Ah yes Paolo – Paolo decided to throw three coins in the fountain as everyone does – and then encouraged Robin to do the same and it would bring her luck in love and in career. Ms Drunkypants decides to ask Paolo how much more luck she would get if she went in the fountain – he said years. So before you can even blink – she's teetering on the edge of the fountain, stripping off her dress and diving into the fountain"

Lulu and Nathalie screamed with laughter. "Was there anyone there?" Nathalie asked.

"Tons of people – that place is busy all the time!"

"We almost got arrested" Robin said quietly. "But Brenda gave out her phone number and got us out of it."

"The sacrifices I make" she teased.

"I think we need more wine" Robin went to get another bottle from the kitchen. Returning, she filled everyone's glasses.

"We need a toast" Patrick said, holding up his glass "To new beginnings with old friends" Everyone clinked glasses. "I should go put the food on, I'll be right back" Patrick shifted Grace and got up from the couch. Nathalie's cell phone rang at the same time.

Nathalie Walker. What? Slow down…..when? They're what? ….Are you sure?…..It's in the paper?! …Sara is this a joke?

Everyone watched Nathalie with interest as the colour drained from her face. Patrick stood at the doorway not moving.

Okay….when do they want to meet with me?……..I'll call them. Thanks.

She stared at her phone, dumbfounded. Her mouth hung open and her breathing was coming in spurts.

"Nat?" Patrick asked.

"It's the strangest thing" she said flatly. "That was my assistant – there's an article in today's Washington Post saying the investigation into Drew's accident has been reopened – the police think it might have been suicide" Patrick felt his knees begin to shake. "Why would they think that and how would they know? Apparently I have to call them. It's the most absurd thing in the world. Andrew would never do that, I know him"

Robin looked at Patrick who was staring at the floor, chewing on his bottom lip.

"Don't you think that's ridiculous P? As if Andrew would do that."


	69. Chapter 69

Chapter 69

Patrick shifted uncomfortably and sat on the armrest of the couch. "What exactly did they say Nathalie?"

She shook her head. 'That the police had reason to believe that it was a suicide and they were reopening the investigation. That it would impact life insurance settlements and open his estate to being sued by those who were injured. This just doesn't make any sense."

"You said the papers have it?" Brenda asked.

"Yeah, the Post. Andrew was well known in the scientific community and there had been quite a bit of coverage of his death."

Grace looked from Nathalie to Patrick, sticking her fingers in her mouth. Lulu watched her. "Hey Gracie?"

"Ya?"

"Do you want to show me some more of your Dora videos? I'm kind of bored with all this chatter." She stood up and held out her hand.

Gracie scrambled from the couch and took Lulu's hand. Patrick gratefully touched Lulu's arm as they walked by. Nathalie watched as they left the room, still holding her phone in her hand. Robin reached for Patrick's hand, taking hold of his fingers. She gave him a quick squeeze trying to let him know that no matter how this played out she was with him.

"I just don't even know why they would say that." Nathalie continued. "Andrew was in a car accident - why would anyone think he killed himself? I know him as well as I know myself." she was still astonished at the phone call. "Patrick, does this make any sense?"

_Two roads diverged in a wood_

Patrick looked at her face – it was a mixture of hope and confusion. Regardless of the fact that she knew about Andrew's ALS, it was inconceivable to her as it had been to him that he would kill himself. The grief of the last few months was etched on her face. She looked older than she was and he wondered just how much pain one person was supposed to endure. He had slowly come to a place where he was no longer angry about the choice that Andrew made but in this moment, burdened by his secret, Patrick felt a whole new wave of rage wash over him. How could a person do this to someone they claimed to love? For just a second, he thought about continuing the lie. Even if the police were to discover that his death was in fact a suicide, no one would know that he had any knowledge of it – no one except for him.

_And I took the one less traveled. _

"Nathalie" he said quietly. "There's something I need to tell you."

Robin stood to leave but Patrick gave her a look, imploring her to stay. Brenda got up from the couch. "I'm going to go make sure Lulu hasn't started feeding Gracie straight sugar."

Nathalie, sensing a change in the air, gave Patrick a strange look. "P – what's going on?"

Patrick got up from the armrest and sat on the coffee table in front of her. He exhaled slowly. "Nathalie" he felt his mouth go dry as he began. He swallowed and started again. "I have reason to believe that Drew did commit suicide."

Nathalie shook her head. "This isn't funny Patrick. The police are wrong and so are you." Robin pressed her fingers against her lips as she watched the scene unfold. "He wouldn't do this to me Patrick. I knew him …I loved him and knew him – he wouldn't do this." She got up from the chair and walked to the window.

It was impossible for her to conceive of what Patrick was telling her. She turned back to face him. "You're his best friend – how could you even think he would do something so cowardly? Where's your loyalty? Do you know how hurt he would be hearing this accusation from you – that you would believe him capable of this."

Patrick stood and cast a look to Robin. He looked back to Nathalie. "Nat, I didn't want to believe it at first – I didn't think he could do something like this but he did."

"NO! He didn't do this – he wouldn't willingly leave me and his children – he LOVED us and you need to shut up about this."

Patrick slowly walked towards her. "I got a letter from him after he died."

"Shut up Patrick" she warned. He jammed his hands in his pockets and prayed that his shaky legs wouldn't give out on him. Robin held Oliver close to her, trying to soothe him. "You need to stop this – you cannot betray your friend like this – I will not let you"

He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. Opening his wallet, he pulled out the well folded letter and handed it to her. "I think you should read this" he said cautiously.

"I don't want to " she said quickly "It's a lie – whatever is in there is a lie."

He shook his head. "It's not a lie Nathalie. Just read it"

His hand shook as he held the letter out to her. She looked at him, blinking several times before finally taking it. She unfolded the letter and sank against the window seat. Patrick was incapable of taking his eyes from her as she read. He had read it so many times he had memorized the letter. He could tell by the expressions crossing her face, which part of the letter she was reading. Her face clouded over and he knew she was near the end of the letter.

_Tell Nathalie if you think it will help – I couldn't but as I said, you're a better man than I am. Try not to be too pissed with me – I just need the pain to stop. Love my kids as you already do – they'll need you as they grow up. Make sure Gracie doesn't date anyone remotely like you or I. Show Oliver what it takes to be a real man, not a coward like his father._

I'm sorry I couldn't be braver. 

"Is this a joke?" she asked holding up the letter. Tears streamed down her face and she made no effort to wipe them away.

"No" he whispered. "It's not a joke"

"So you knew?" she accused. Patrick could do nothing but nod. "You knew and you never said anything? What the HELL is that??"

"I thought" his mouth went dry and he licked his lips. "I thought it would be better if you didn't know."

"If I didn't know? IF I DIDN'T KNOW?" she yelled. "This is my HUSBAND we are talking about and you somehow felt it was your right to keep this from me? Just who in the hell do you think you are?"

"Nat, I'm sorry. I just didn't think that you needed the pain of this on top of everything else."

"Who made you judge and jury – what the fuck is that?" She began to pace in front of the window, her face streaked by angry tears. "My entire life is a lie."

"No it's not" he said walking towards her. "Drew was in a bad place but that doesn't mean he didn't love you" He put a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't touch me" she shrieked. "Don't pretend that you can pat me on the shoulder and everything is okay. Drew lied to me – you lied to me. You must have thought it was hysterically funny when I found his ALS meds and I was complaining about him lying to me then but there you were sitting on the biggest lie of them all."

"Nathalie"

"Shut up – I don't even know you – you and Drew are obviously cut from the same cloth" Robin flinched as she saw the effect that her words were having on him. "You think it's okay to keep this a secret?"

"What would it have changed Nathalie?" Patrick tried to reason. "Drew was dead, he wasn't coming back – suicide, accident – it changed nothing."

"IT CHANGES EVERYTHING" she raged "My marriage was a LIE" she spat.

"That's not true…"

"True? True – you're going to stand there and talk to me about truth? The great Patrick Drake? Player extraordinaire? You've told so many lies to so many women – what was one more, right?"

"That's not fair – I've never lied to you –I've tried to supportive of you and the kids – I love you."

"LOVE ME? Like Drew loved me? I don't need that kind of love!" She turned to Robin, her face an angry mess "Be careful of his love Robin – you might want to think twice"

Robin stood up, still holding Oliver. "Nathalie, I can only imagine the pain this is causing you but you need to know the pain this has caused Patrick. He was betrayed as well and struggled as to whether or not he should tell you. This was not a decision he took lightly."

"One betrayal leads to another" she said dryly.

"I'll leave you two to hash this out" she walked out of the room.

"That's quite a little defender you have there"

"Leave Robin out of this" Patrick warned her.

"Why – you told her the truth but not me. I am the ONE person who needed to know this and you didn't tell me."

"I honestly thought I was protecting you"

"FROM WHAT??"

"From the pain – every day I wake up and I wish I didn't know this – I couldn't convince myself that you should know it too"

"You are the worst friend in the world" she wiped at her face furiously "And I hate you."

"Don't say that" he pleaded walking towards her. "I love you Nathalie and I love your kids – I want you in my life" He tried to put his arms around her but she pounded against his chest.

"I don't want you in my life. My entire marriage was based on a lie –Drew cannot have loved me and cannot have loved his kids if he could do this to us" her breath was coming in ragged spurts. "And you can't ever have loved us if you were willing to perpetuate his lie!"

"Nathalie please" he implored.

"I hate you – you understand this right? I FUCKING hate you." Patrick felt his eyes begin to fill with tears. It was like losing Drew all over again and it felt like his chest was going to be crushed under the pressure. "GRACIE!" she called "Get in here now!"

"What are you doing?" Patrick asked.

"We are leaving – I am not staying" she was beginning to hyperventilate "not staying another minute around you." She ran upstairs to collect their bags. Patrick stood with one hand on his hip and the other running through his hair, watching as she ran away from him. He willed himself not to cry.

Robin and the girls came quietly back into the room. "What's going on?" she asked. Patrick just shook his head. Gracie let go of Lulu's hand and ran to Patrick. Holding her arms up to him, he picked her up.

"Why is mommy mad?" she asked.

"Mommy isn't having a good day Gracie-lou. I need you to remember something" he said quietly, pushing her hair back from her face.

"What?"

"I love you – no matter what – I love you a lot"

"More than the ocean?" she asked.

"More than the ocean" he repeated, kissing her cheek.

Nathalie came down the stairs, her entire body rigid with fury. She took Oliver from Robin's arms and put him in his car seat. They all stared at each other wordlessly.

"Where are you going to go Nat?" Patrick asked, trying to keep his voice calm.

"Home to DC – tonight."

"Why don't you stay tonight and if you want to go home we can take you to the airport tomorrow" Robin offered.

She shook her head angrily. "You're very nice Robin but we need to get out of here tonight." She pulled Gracie from Patrick's arms.

"Mommy no – I want to stay with Patty"

"We are not staying with Patty." She narrowed her eyes and looked at him. "Say goodbye Gracie because you won't be seeing him again" she said through gritted teeth.

"Mommy no! Put me down" Grace held her arms out to Patrick "Paaattty! Take me – I don't want to leave!"

Patrick jammed his hands into his pockets. "I'm sorry baby girl" his voice catching "you have to go with your mom" They all jumped as they heard the taxi honk in driveway.

"I will never forgive you for this" she hissed at him.

"Paaatrick!" Gracie called to him crying "let me stay!!"

"Be quiet right now Gracie – we are going home" Nathalie grabbed Oliver in his seat and her suitcase and stormed out of the house.

Robin put her hand on Patrick but he shrugged it off. "Just…don't" he shook his head and walked to the back of the house. She heard him kick open the door to the backyard.

Brenda put her arm on Robin. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Whoever said death ends suffering, never saw the survivors."


	70. Chapter 70

Chapter 70

Chapter 70

"What can we do?" Brenda asked.

Robin smiled tightly. "Nothing but I do thank you both for taking care of Grace."

"No problem" Lulu said, looking back to where Patrick had gone.

"Is he normally this moody?" Brenda asked.

Robin rubbed her stomach. "Not really. Andrew's death was an enormous blow to him but when he got the suicide note he nearly came apart. He struggled with his decision not to tell her and was confident he was doing the right thing. You know, for all the arrogance and cockiness of his, you can always count on him to want to do the right thing."

"I'm sure Nathalie will see that in time" Brenda offered.

"I doubt it" Lulu said. Both women looked at her. "What? Look, she's mad and she's hurt and she thinks somehow if only Patrick had told her things would've changed or worked out differently. This isn't something she's going to get over any time soon."

"You're right Lulu" Robin said resignedly.

"Well then, we should go and let you guys work this out." Brenda said, hugging her. "Call me if you need anything." She bent down to eye level with Robin's stomach. "Bye baby"

Lulu gave her a quick hug as well. "Thanks for inviting me"

"Any time Lulu. You were great with Grace" she said as she walked her guests to the door.

"Can I give you a ride Lulu?" Brenda offered.

"Sure, thanks"

"Bye guys - thanks again." Robin sighed as she closed the door.

She walked to back of the house and opened the door to the backyard. Patrick was sitting on the patio, in darkness, staring straight ahead.

"Hey" she said softly.

"I'm not ready to talk about it yet" he said flatly.

"We don't have to talk" she said, taking the seat next to him.

"Are you feeling okay? That wasn't too stressful – it didn't upset the baby?" he asked, not looking at her.

"It's fine. I'm worried about you."

He shook his head. "Don't be. It'll pass." He took another drink of his beer. "It's getting cold out here, you should have a jacket or something."

Taking the hint, Robin stood up and pressed her lips against the side of his head. "I'll be inside. I love you Patrick."

He nodded but never looked at her. He couldn't quiet the sound of Nathalie telling him that she hated him. The image of Grace reaching out to him haunted him as well. How had it all gone so wrong? He had gone to Washington with the intention of telling her but had decided it would be best for her not to know. Or had he chickened out? He didn't know anymore but what he did know was that his connection to the person who had meant everything to him was gone, severed.

"Damn you Andrew" he said to the night sky.

He didn't deal well with pain or disappointment. It had been something he had admired in Robin from the beginning – she was a survivor. He wasn't. He got through his mother's death because Andrew wouldn't let him give up. He got through his father's surgery because Robin pushed him and then held him up when he couldn't go any further. He was getting through Andrew's death because Robin had planted herself at his side, letting him lean on her. This was the first time he had tried to be there for someone else and he failed. Not enough that his own foundation had been rocked by the suicide revelation but now his silence had done the same to the one person he was trying to protect.

"I'm going to be a terrible father" he thought to himself.

Andrew asked him to take care of Nathalie and the kids and what had he done? He devastated them further. How could he be trusted with his own child – to do right by him when he couldn't do right by others? He was beginning to think it was a Drake male quality to fail those you love in a time of need.

Robin pulled the door open and Patrick looked at her in surprise. She was wearing his sweatshirt over her pajama pants. She walked to him and sat on his lap, putting her arm around his shoulders. She kissed his cheek.

"It's 3 in the morning" she said quietly.

"I guess I've been out here a while"

She threaded the hair at the back of his neck through her fingers. "What's going on in that head of yours?"

He smirked. "You're the overly analytical one."

"It's possible we're doing role reversal here."

Patrick slid his hand underneath the back of her sweatshirt, needing to touch her skin. "I feel like I've lost him all over again. I should have told her when I was in DC"

"Patrick don't do this. You don't know that her reaction would have been any less angry if you had told her then."

"But she could have found out from me and not the newspaper."

"It wasn't going to matter who told her" she said kindly "It was the message that devastated her, not the messenger."

"How could he do this to us?" he asked staring at the ground.

"I'm sure if he knew the pain it was going to cause, he might of thought twice."

"With Nathalie gone, I've lost my last connection to him. Grace looks just like him and now I won't be able to see her."

"Patrick, Nathalie's had a terrible shock and once she can process things, she may change her mind."

He shook his head quietly. "Andrew was my history. There wasn't anything that happened in my life that he didn't know about. We wouldn't even need to speak most of the time. Some of my favourite moments were sitting on his patio, having a beer and saying nothing. What was there to say when we knew everything about each other. No one will know me like he did." He looked up at her. "You know me pretty well but …"

"But I've known you less than a year and you and Andrew shared some pretty significant moments together."

Patrick nodded. He chewed on his lip and looked straight in front of him. "She said she hated me Robin. Hated me."

"She didn't…"

"Don't say she didn't mean it because she did. I could feel it coming from her. Hates me, Robin. I was supposed to take care of her and instead she thinks I've abandoned her."

She ran her hand along his shoulders. "Patrick – you can't keep second guessing yourself here. You didn't abandon her, you offered support and love to both her and the kids – you did what you were supposed to do."

"That's not how she sees it"

"You can't control how she sees it – you can only control your intentions and I know for a fact that your intentions were good."

They sat in silence. Robin continued to rub his shoulders in an attempt to relax the muscles that were so tightly coiled. Patrick blew out his cheeks and looked up at the sky. Even in the darkness, she knew his face was wet with tears.

"You know, you might have been better off with Bruce as the father of your baby."

Robin's mouth fell open in shock. "What?"

"I come from a history of bad fathers and this whole debacle tonight just proves I'm not capable of taking care of anyone but myself."

Robin turned his face towards hers. "That is the biggest load of crap you have ever said. And trust me when I tell you, you've said quite a bit of crap"

"It's true" he said flatly. "I'm going to be a failure as a father. I can't take care of a baby, meet its emotional needs."

"Stop it right now" she said firmly. "You take care of me and you meet my needs. I know that you will do the same for our baby."

"I've let you down as many times as I've met your needs Robin. I'm a selfish being with no clue…"

"Patrick!" she sighed. "When have you let me down? You fought for me during the epidemic, you held me on the roof and made me feel safe when safety felt so completely out of reach and you've stood by me even when we thought our baby was Bruce's. You flew all the way to Rome to be with me. You are so not as selfish as you think you are."

"Robin" he whispered, tears falling down his face.

She wiped at them, placing feathery kisses under his eyes. "You are going to be a great father. You have so much love in you, it seeps out despite your efforts to keep it under lock and key. You are the only father I want for my baby." She took his hand and placed it under her shirt on her bump. "And you're the only father our daughter wants"

"Son" he said lightly. He rubbed his hand over her belly. "They are the only people I have loved, besides you. I can't lose anymore people I love" he said, resting his head against her chest.

"Your baby and I aren't going anywhere."

He nuzzled her neck and she felt his hot tears against her skin. "It hurts" he mumbled into her neck.

"I know it does."

He wrapped his arms tightly around her, hoping if he held her close enough it would keep some of the pain at bay.


	71. Chapter 71

Chapter 71

Patrick lay in bed, with one arm draped around Robin as she slept next to him. Having finally coaxed him inside, Robin got him into bed but he had been unable to sleep. Through the night, he had periodically put his hand on Robin's stomach, just to feel close to them both. The sound of Nathalie's accusations had been replaced by another voice.

_Yeah, well –the ball is in my court now – I hope you're ready._

He looked up at the swirl patterns the stucco had made on the ceiling. This would be over the line, wouldn't it? Even for Bruce? How would he even know? Patrick had an uneasy feeling – there was something about the timing and the wanton destructiveness of it that reeked of him. Being the expert manipulator, it would be next to impossible for Patrick to prove that he had been anywhere near the story but he couldn't help but feel that he was being played.

Glancing at the clock, it read 6:48 – Robin could still sleep for another hour. Gently removing his arm from her, he slipped quietly from the bed and headed to the shower.

He watched her as he got dressed and found he was amazed at her beauty. Her hair framed her face – the darkness setting off her delicate features. Her lips were parted ever so slightly and the sound of her light breathing was the only one in the room. The blankets outlined her form and her bump was growing bigger every day. Having long thought that he would go off any woman he was around too much, he was amazed that spending time with Robin only resulted in him wanting to touch her more not less. He did up the buttons on his shirt and tucked into his pants before leaving the bedroom.

xxxxx

Standing outside the front door, he was nervous. Exactly how did one go about these things? Put him in a hospital and there wasn't anything he didn't know how to do – outside of there and it was more of a struggle. He still couldn't believe that this had been a part of Robin's life once. He was shown inside and smiled nervously as he walked through the door.

"Dr. Drake – what brings you by?"

"Sonny – I need help and I think you may be the only one who can provide it."

"Have a seat" he motioned to the chair.

Patrick sat down and took in the surroundings. The room was dark, filled with rich woods and thick leather furniture. The only lightness could be found in the pictures of his children that punctuated the room. For a moment, he wished he had known Robin when she had dated Jason and been a part of Sonny's life because it all seemed so at odds with who she was now. But as Brenda pointed out, Robin remained loyal to these people who had not been so to her – the last one to give up. It's the main reason he was here.

"I feel a little strange being here" he admitted

"Any friend of Robin's is a friend of mine and I'm happy to help if I can."

Patrick licked his lips and dove in. "Robin would not be happy to know I was here. I assume she's told you about some of the problems we've been having with Bruce Harris?"

Sonny nodded. "I thought the paternity thing was resolved – that you're the father?"

"I am but Harris doesn't want to let it go. He managed to convince a judge or buy a judge and now we have to submit the results of her doctor's appointments to him until a paternity test reveals that I am in fact the father."

"Can't she have one now?"

Patrick shook his head. "There is an enormous risk of transmitting HIV to the baby if she does it now so we have to wait for another five months or so."

"How is Robin?" Sonny asked.

"She's doing well – she's happy but her pregnancy is high risk and she's been told not to work. It's taking some adjusting on her part to get used to the idea"

Sonny smiled. "Robin always did like to be busy. Is Harris harassing her?"

"Subtly but yes. I think someone at GH is leaking her medical info to him and I got a restraining order to keep him from getting in contact with her."

"He didn't get the message?"

"He did but he didn't like it. He threatened to come after me and I have reason to believe he did so."

"But you're not sure?"

Patrick shrugged and though he felt uncomfortable doing so, proceeded to tell Sonny about Andrew, his death, the suicide note, the decision he made not tell Nathalie and how it all fell apart last night. Sonny stared at him, steely eyed; listening to the story but taking the measure of Patrick all at the same time.

"What would like me to do?"

"Is there any way you can find out if he was behind this? There is just no way that the police should be reopening the investigation two months later unless they were prompted to do so. The fallout from this is huge. I mean beyond the emotional devastation to the family…"

"And to you" Sonny added.

Patrick shrugged in agreement. "I suppose. But it means that Nathalie is on the hook for everything – no insurance payout and the estate can be sued by the other survivors of the accident. They made good money but there is no way they could survive a court judgment against them. They would lose everything. The idea that this could be happening because of me makes me sick."

"Are you in love with Robin?" Sonny asked quietly.

"More every day. All I want is for her to enjoy being pregnant and give birth to a healthy child, our healthy child."

Sonny nodded. "She's pretty important to me too. I promised Stone that I would take care of her. I haven't always made good on that promise but I'm trying to make it up to her." Sonny took a drink of water. "Getting children involved, letting them be collateral damage is just wrong and if this Harris guy has done that, he'll have bought himself more trouble than he can handle. I'll take care of it."

"Will you let me know?"

Sonny shook his head. "Patrick, it's probably best that you don't know. If he did do it and I tell you I have a feeling you'll go off on him. Not a good move when you have a baby on the way. If Harris is behind this, I'll find out and then I'll deal with him. I suspect he and I may speak the same language."

Patrick stood and offered his hand. "I can't thank you enough."

"Yes you can. Take care of Robin and the baby. She never believed she would have a shot at being a mother or of being in love again. That you can give her both means a lot to me."

"Thanks Sonny" Sonny nodded as Patrick left.

"Max" he bellowed. "Call Stan and tell him I need to see him."

xxxxxxx

Robin woke to the sound of her alarm and opening her eyes, smiled at the sight before her. Patrick had brought a tray with her meds, juice and half a bagel and left it on the nightstand. He had also left her a note.

_Had an early meeting before surgery. Make sure you rest today –I won't be late. Love Patrick._

Robin sighed as she took her meds. When it was just the two of them, when they managed to keep the outside world at bay, their existence was as close to perfect as it could be. They both still had their issues and communication could be a struggle but their commitment to each other was total. It was surprising to an extent that for all the fireworks between them, their relationship had solidified quietly and without much fanfare. The security that Robin had sought, the love that she had craved was given to her by Patrick. She only hoped that she provided the same to him.

Her heart still ached over the drama from the night before. No one beyond her and Patrick knew what effect Andrew's letter had had on him. His pride was his armor and that night was the weakest he had ever been. She had been tempted to pull Nathalie aside and tell her about the toll it had taken on him, about the cost to him emotionally but she could never leave him exposed like that and so she listened without comment as Nathalie attacked him, accusing of being cavalier about something that had distressed him. Robin sat in bed rubbing her stomach. "What do you think little one? Should we go and visit daddy at work?" She pulled the covers back and headed to the shower.

Robin looked at the clothes now piled on her bed and was dismayed to find that nothing really fit. "How can I go from having clothes fit to not fit in one day?" she said out loud. The only thing that still did up was a grey knit wrap dress. Sighing as she put it on, she decided a stop for maternity clothes would be needed before visiting Patrick.

xxxxx

A few hours and several hundred dollars later, Robin was in possession of enough outfits to get her through. She knew this wouldn't get her out of a shopping spree with Brenda but at least now she would have something to wear when they went shopping. She adjusted her dress before opening the door to Patrick's office.

"Hi" she said quietly.

Patrick looked up in surprise and then smiled. "Hi yourself. What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you"

"Oh?"

She closed the door to his office and locked it. "I think you may have forgotten something" she said leaning against the door.

Patrick licked his lips. The swell of her breasts in the clingy knit dress was completely distracting for him. "What did I forget?"

Robin walked towards him. "That I'm the superhorny phase of my pregnancy and I have needs."

Patrick let out a small laugh and leaned back into his chair. "You have needs do you?"

"Needs only you can meet" she stood between him and the desk.

"You couldn't wait until I get home?" he asked teasingly.

Robin bit her bottom lip. "Nope" She took Patrick by surprise, straddling him in the chair. She kissed his neck. "Waiting for you to come home is too long" she said huskily.

Patrick began to stir almost immediately. "Have I mentioned how much I like this phase?"

Robin ground her hips against him. "I think I have some idea"

Patrick's mouth went in search of hers, pulling on her lips with his. He moaned as she thrust her tongue into his mouth. He sucked greedily on it. Her hands made quick work of the buttons on his shirt and she ran them over his chest, raking them lightly down the front. She felt his arousal stiffening underneath her. Patrick pushed the material of her dress out of the way and kneaded her breasts through the lacy material of her bra. Robin pushed them further into his hands and shuddered slightly as he rolled her nipples between his fingers. Robin threw her head back as Patrick assaulted her neck with his tongue, blowing on her skin. Feeling the heat pool between her legs she continued to rub against him with increasing urgency.

"I feel like a teenager, dry humping" he panted.

She flicked his nipple into her mouth and sucked on it. "We can take the dry out of that" she said, letting go of him. Reaching into her bra, she pulled out a condom and tore open the packet.

"Have I mentioned I love you?" he said, his eyes dark pools of desire.

Robin slid from his lap and undid the top button of his pants and the zipper. Pulling his pants and boxers over his hips she smiled as she heard him hiss. His erection was finally free and she wasted no time taking hold of it, stroking it firmly, never taking his eyes off of him.

"You…you…wow….condom.now" he panted. Robin leaned in and kissed his as she unrolled the condom over him. Sitting back on his desk, she hiked her dress up and slid her panties off. Spreading her legs, she grinned seductively.

"I'm ready"

Patrick closed his eyes, trying to steady his breathing. Standing up from the chair, he was as gentle as he could be entering her but it still left her breathless. It was all the gentleness he could muster as he began to thrust into her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and threw her arms around his shoulders.

"Fuck me Patrick" she said breathlessly.

He thrust into her with such force that she bit her lip to keep from crying out. She shuddered and twitched as her orgasm built inside her. He tried to hold back as long as he could but the feeling of her tightening around him, milking him was too much to resist and all his muscles tightened as he came hard against her. She pulled him tighter to her and bit into his shoulder as she shook with her climax.

He collapsed against her, panting. "That was …ooof…"

"Perfect" she said against him.

"Can I expect more visits?" he smiled as he kissed her neck.

"I think we might need to make this a regular thing"

xxxxxxx

"Can I help you?"

"I'm here to see Bruce Harris"

"Do you have an appointment?"

"I don't need one" he said, pushing past the young woman. He walked into the inner office of the suite. "Mr. Harris" he said evenly, standing in the doorway.

Bruce looked up. "I'm sorry Mr. Corinthos but not accepting campaign donations right now."

"That's fine. I'm here for a conversation not a donation."


	72. Chapter 72

Chapter 72

"Mr. Corinthos" Bruce began.

"Mr. Harris – we can have this conversation in private or in front of your lackeys – it's entirely up to you."

With a quick nod, he dismissed the people in his office. Sonny stood out of the way as the shuffled out of the room. With his trademark swagger, Sonny strode across the room and flopped into a chair.

"What can I do for you?" Bruce asked, joining his hands together so as to hide his nervousness.

"It seems you've been a very busy man" Sonny said, reclining back into the chair with an air of insouciance.

"I'm running for Senate Mr. Corinthos, of course I'm busy"

"Yeah, that's not what I'm talking about. Seems you have a very strong interest in a couple of friends of mine – Robin Scorpio and Patrick Drake."

"I have no interest in Patrick Drake, as for Robin – she could be carrying my child."

Sonny rubbed his chin. "I thought you had to be smart to run for office." Bruce raised his eyebrow. "Because it's obvious to everyone that Robin is further along than you're claiming meaning it would be impossible for it to be your baby. Yet you keep hanging on like a dog with a bone."

"The child could be mine" he repeated.

"Speaking of dogs with a bone – do you have any idea how seriously I take attacks on my friends?" Sonny loosened the collar of his shirt.

"I don't believe I have attacked your friends. If you're talking about the court case, I did what was within my legal rights." Bruce leaned back, feeling his confidence return.

Sonny smirked. "You must think this is my first rodeo. I'm not the police Bruce. I'm not bothered by all those silly things like due process and privacy – oh wait….apparently neither are you." Sonny glared at him.

Bruce stood up. "Mr. Corinthos, Sonny – as you've said, I'm a busy man…"

"Sit down – you and I are not done."

Bruce blanched at his calm but threatening voice. He was surprised to find his knees shaking as he took his seat. "Do you have a point?"

"Do I have a point? Do you have any idea what I could do to you? Do you?" Bruce refused to acknowledge his question. "I get that your manhood took a beating when Robin embarrassed you at the Nurses Ball but you have crossed all kinds of lines."

"I have done nothing"

"You're too modest. I know you sold the stories about Robin and her HIV to the newspapers. And I know you're behind the police investigation into the death of Andrew Walker."

Tiny beads of sweat formed on his forehead. "You have no proof"

Sonny stood and banged his hands on the desk. "Do you think I won't end you?" he seethed. Bruce flinched. "Do you think I'm not capable of tearing your life apart? These are my friends you've gone after. There are children involved who are now hurt by you. I thought about showing up here and putting a bullet in your head" Sonny smiled as Bruce paled. "But then I realized two things – it would be too painless for you and Robin would be mad at me. See, unlike you, Brucie, I care about Robin and her health."

"Care about her?" he scoffed, trying to regain his footing against Sonny. "You forget, I met her in Paris after you and Jason did your number on her."

"It's funny – Robin has forgiven me but not you – what do you think that means?"

"You don't scare me Corinthos" he said with false bravado.

Sonny let out a little laugh. "You are either very brave or very stupid. I'm going with stupid." Bruce watched as Sonny paced in front of him. "Did Robin ever tell you I have a strong interest in photography? I guess not" he said, not giving him a chance to answer. "These are my new favourite photos" he said, taking an envelope from his jacket pocket and tossing it on the desk.

Bruce opened the envelope with slightly shaking hands and pulled out three photos showing him in bed with another man. It was clear to him they had been doctored. "These are fake."

"Yeah, they are" Sonny admitted. "They were all my guy could pull together in two days but here's the thing – Bruce – with enough time I can make them real and I have a number of friends in the media who would be happy to get a hold of them. As well as your positive heroin test and the rape allegation from 1994."

"I have never taken heroin or raped anyone" he said indignantly.

"You should know from all your recent activity that the truth is entirely flexible. Or at least you made it so where Robin was concerned. It doesn't matter that these things are false – all that matters is the headlines they'll make and then poof! there goes your Senate seat and any high paying job offers." Bruce shook his head. "It's interesting that you mentioned Jason, by the way."

"Why's that?" he asked, nervously licking his lips.

"Because even after everything, Jason and Robin are still close. And I gotta tell you, once I told Jason what you had done it was all I could do to stop him from coming to see you. See, I'm more of talker, Jason's more of a do-er. I'm not sure you're ready for Jason to display his….skills….to you."

"What..what do you want?" he said, his mouth going dry.

"I want a lot of things but let's start with the top things on my list. The first thing you're going to do when I leave her, is phone your contacts in DC and put a stop to the investigation into Andrew Walker's death. It was accidental and that's all. Car accidents happen all the time, I'd hate for you to find that out for yourself" he threatened quietly. "Second of all – you stay away from Robin and Patrick. If Robin so much as gets a hiccup because of you, you can kiss your Senate seat goodbye. If anything happens to that baby, there is nowhere you can run that I won't find you."

"Are you quite done threatening me?"

Sonny walked towards him and gently tapped his face with his hand. "Keep Robin's name and Patrick's name away from the newspapers and fix the Walker thing. It is only because of Robin that I haven't destroyed your career but if you and I have to meet a second time, things won't go so well for you."

xxxxxxx

"Tell me again why our fathers are coming for dinner?" Patrick whined.

"Because you and I both need to work on strengthening our relationships with them and this is a good opportunity."

"And why is Brenda coming?" he said, chopping the vegetables for the salad.

"So that there is some estrogen balance in the room."

"You don't think you have enough estrogen?" he said touching her belly. Now four months gone, her bump was extending in front of her. There was no denying she was pregnant. "This is unfair though."

"What is?"

"My dad likes you, your dad wants to kill me."

"My dad wants to kill every guy I've dated – you're not that special" she teased.

Patrick dragged his hand up her thigh under her dress. He cupped her, feeling the wetness pooling between her legs. She gasped as he touched her.

"I think I'm pretty special" he whispered into her ear.

"Don't start what you're not ready to finish."

"Oh god – are you two groping each other again?" Brenda groaned, coming into the kitchen.

"You gave her a key?" Patrick asked.

"Well it beats having to run for the door every time she's here" Robin said reasonably.

"I thought I was the only person you keyed and here I find out you're keying someone else. Should I be worried? Is there a list?"

"Isn't he cute when he pouts?" Robin asked Brenda, who giggled in response.

"I don't pout" he grumbled. He looked up as the doorbell rang. "What, you didn't key our fathers?"

"Ewww, no. That would just be weird"

Patrick rolled his eyes as he headed for the door. "Robert"

"Patrick" he said coming in. Patrick was just about to shut the door when Noah put his foot in it.

"I'm still invited, am I not?" Noah asked. "I've brought dessert." He held up a chocolate cake.

"Great" Patrick sighed. "I think my girlfriend is going to like you better than me."

"Well why settle for you when she could have the original Drake love machine?" Noah teased.

"Scarred for life – I am scarred for life" he said, taking the cake from Noah.

Patrick and Noah walked to the kitchen where Robin was pouring a drink for her father. "Hi Noah" she said brightly.

"You get better looking every day Robin" Noah said. "May I?" he held up his hands.

"Of course" she turned around and pushed out her belly. He put his hands over her stomach and jumped back as the baby moved.

"Wow" he said in wonderment.

Robin smiled "Your granddaughter is pretty active"

"Grandson" Patrick interjected.

"Listen to Robin son, women know these things"

"Ha!" Robert scoffed, earning himself an evil look from Robin.

"You know Robert, I've always thought you made a lot of sense" Patrick teased.

"Your mother was convinced you were a boy – I wanted a girl" Noah said.

"You wanted a girl?" Patrick asked in surprise.

"Why not – one Drake rake is enough" Robert muttered under his breath. Robin slapped him on the arm "Play nicely- you guys are going to be grandparents together."

"You wanted a girl?" Patrick repeated.

"Don't be so offended – I was quite happy when we got you. I just thought a girl would be nice" Noah offered.

"There is no end to the torture" Patrick muttered. "Shall we eat?"

"Which hot grandfather do I get to sit beside?" Brenda asked causing both Noah and Robert to choke on their drinks.

"Really? You had to invite her?" Patrick asked Robin.

"Okay, I know I sound a little Rodney King here but can we all just get along?"

Robert put his arm around Robin. "My daughter the peacemaker"

"Like I have an option when you and mom are in the same room." As they all sat down, Noah couldn't help but smile at the scene before him.

"So Original Doc Hottie, what are you smiling about?" Brenda asked as he held out her chair for her.

"Just enjoying seeing my son in domestic bliss. He always swore the only way it would happen was if he was dragged there kicking and screaming."

"Oh there was kicking and screaming" Patrick smiled.

Brenda scrunched up her face. "Can we NOT talk about your sex life?"

"Come on Brenda" Robert said "He's the great impregnator, it's what he does best."

Patrick turned to Robin who was blushing madly. "May I remind you this was your idea"

"Remind me of this next time I suggest it."

The room was filled with laughter as they tucked into their salads. Patrick watched his father, laughing at one of Brenda's comments. It was one of the first times he had heard him laugh, a deep soulful laugh, in years. Robin had brought he and his father together and now their baby was solidifying the relationship. Noah noticed Patrick staring at him and gave him a quizzical look.

"Something on your mind son?" he asked.

"Just thinking you may want to curb your flirting with Brenda – you're not as young as you think you are."

Noah rolled his eyes. "But I'm not too old to take you over my knee"

Robert turned to Patrick. "There are much better ways to humiliate a child other than spanking" he offered.

"Like baby pictures?"

"Exactly"

Robin turned to Patrick. "Oh god – they're ganging up together"

"And you with your brilliant mind didn't see this coming?" Brenda interjected.

"I have mommy brain" she said in defense.

"And the excuses begin" Patrick shot at her jokingly.

Robert watched as Patrick placed his hand over Robin's belly and gave her a kiss on her neck. His daughter was happy – it was all a father could want for his daughter. In the years that he had been absent, he had received regular intelligence on her movements including photos. She always looked content, occasionally smiling but never happy, never joyful. He had been sure that she would never have that. That somewhere along the way something in her had been irretrievably broken and real happiness was out of reach. Seeing her now, he thought his heart would burst.

"I know we're about to eat dessert, but I'd like to propose a toast" Robert said, holding up his glass. Robin looked at him quizzically. "I..uh…I was away for a lot of Robin's life, though she had some good people, like you Brenda, taking care of her. And I would like nothing more than to dislike you, Patrick but you have quite clearly made my daughter incredibly happy – a tribute to you Noah" he said tipping his glass to the older Drake. Noah smiled gratefully. "I can't tell you what it means to me and I'm sure to all who love you both, to see you happy and eagerly awaiting the birth of your child. I wish you all the joy that this new chapter will bring and though it pains me to admit it, I am so very pleased that you have found each other. To Patrick, Robin and their baby"

Robin smiled with tears in her eyes. "To our daughter"

Patrick took her hand. "To our son"


	73. Chapter 73

Chapter 73

Patrick shifted his legs in bed as he dreamed of Robin. His dreams were tactile, the feeling of her hair spread on his skin, the sensation of her touch – all incredibly real to him. He smiled in his sleep as even the thought of her made him hard. Suddenly sensing his dream was perhaps more real than imagined, Patrick pried his eyes open and was greeted by the sight of Robin kissing his torso while gently stroking him. He groaned.

"Wha..What are you doing?" he said sleepily.

"Waking you up" she said between kisses. "Is it working?"

He threaded his hands through her hair. "I'll say."

His legs spread further apart, giving her greater access. Robin began to stroke him harder while peppering his hipbone with wet kisses. Patrick lifted his hips, urging her to go on. Robin traced circles with her tongue as she made her way up his body. She lapped at his flat nipple, flicking it into her mouth and sucking greedily on it.

"Shit" he hissed. "Robin…" he trailed off.

Finally let go of him, Robin lay on top of him, pressing her body into his. He put his hands on her back pulling her tighter into him, responding to the feel of her breasts against his skin. He gently rolled her to her side and let his hands wander over her shoulders. Now wide-awake, he seized her lips with urgency, thrusting his tongue into her mouth. Robin massaged his tongue with her own and was rewarded with a low guttural moan. He palmed her breasts, letting them fall heavy into his hands. She pushed them further into him as he brushed her nipples with his thumbs. They puckered and stiffened under his touch and Robin bit her lip to keep from crying out.

She ran her hand down his side and over his hip taking firm hold of his behind. Unwilling to take his lips from her skin, Patrick blindly reached into the night stand for a condom. Finally finding one, he passed it to her and smiled as she quickly tore it open. Robin ran her hands over him for several strokes.

"Robin, please" he begged "I need to be inside you"

Giving him a feline smile, Robin rolled the condom over him and then hotly closed her mouth over that.

"Sweet jesus" he exhaled as she ran her tongue along the underside of his penis, flicking the sensitive spot just below the head. Afraid he was going to finish before he began, he pulled her up to meet him and kissed her passionately on the mouth. Keeping her on her side, he placed her leg over his hip and entered her with such force that it left her breathless. He lay still inside her for a moment.

"I didn't hurt you did I?" he asked, panting.

Robin shook her head. "You can never hurt me"

She undulated her hips against him, begging him to go on. Patrick grabbed hold of her hips, pressing himself fully inside her and started to thrust. Robin met him movement for movement, her mouth hanging open in silent pleasure. He nipped at her bottom as he continued to build to his climax. Robin dug her nails into him as she started to quiver and tremble. She went perfectly still before her entire body shook with the force of her climax. Patrick continued to press into her and held her tightly as he tumbled over the edge, her name on his lips.

They lay tangled in each other, breathless. "Do I even want to know what time it is?" he asked when he could finally speak

Robin pressed her lips against his chest. "It's almost time for you to go to work"

"I'm not sure I can remember my name at the moment, let alone how to practice medicine." He kissed her forehead and gently rubbed her stomach.

"I have my five month appointment today."

"I know and I think I'm in surgery." He ran his hands through her hair, getting lost in the silky feel.

"I've asked Brenda to come and then we're going to have lunch with Lainey and Kelly."

"I'll try to make it if I can"

"Don't worry. Your patients need you."

"And I need you" he nipped at her bottom lip again. "What do you think the chances are of you remaining this…excited…until you give birth?"

Robin laughed against his skin and he closed his eyes as the vibrations echoed through his body. "I think we are soon going to approach the "big as a whale" phase and you will likely go off me."

He looked at her intently. "I could never go off you. You know that, right?"

"You say that now. When my feet are too big to fit into my shoes and you can't get your arms around me because my belly is so large it has its own zip code…"

"Then we'll get creative."

"I like creative" she said, nuzzling the side of his neck.

"I should get in the shower – care to join me?" he asked, disentangling himself from her.

"I think your daughter and I are just going to lie here for a while"

"Okay" he said walking to the shower. "But I think you mean our son."

"Have you started shopping for my necklace yet?"

He flashed his dimple at her. "Please. Have you read the guidebook on Australia I brought home?"

He disappeared into the bathroom and Robin stretched out on the bed. She cradled her stomach.

"Your father is incredibly hard headed little one. He thinks he knows stuff but he really doesn't. That's something I clue you into later. You are so going to have him wrapped around your little finger."

xxxx

"So I'm really going to get to see my godchild?" Brenda asked as he paced in the exam room.

Robin settled herself on the table. "Yes but here's the deal – Patrick and I have a bet about the sex of the baby and so if you think you see something, you can't tell me."

"Fair enough" Brenda picked up the ultrasound wand but dropped it as Kelly came through the door.

"Hey Robin" she said, looking up from the chart.

"Hi Kel – this is my friend Brenda Barrett"

"Hi Brenda, I'm Kelly Lee"

Brenda smiled at her. "Robin is so bad with titles, I'm not just her friend, I am the godmother."

Kelly laughed. "How are you feeling?"

"Good, though it's hard getting used to being back in Port Charles." Brenda replied. Both Kelly and Robin looked at her. "Oh you mean Robin – my bad."

Robin giggled. "I'm good – the meds are fine. I've been taking my blood pressure every day as you've asked."

"And?" Robin handed her the sheet of her blood pressure readings. Kelly read through it. "It's still kind of high but manageable. I want to hold off giving you blood pressure meds as long as possible."

"Why is her blood pressure so high?" Brenda asked curiously.

"Well, pregnancy is a stress to anyone's system but because Robin's system is already compromised to a certain extent, it's an extra stress and this is how her body responds. Lots of women, HIV negative ones, have blood pressure issues through their pregnancy. We just like to keep an eye on it."

Robin leaned back and lifted her top in preparation for the ultrasound. Kelly squirted the cold gel on her belly and ran the wand over it.

"Oh my god" Brenda exclaimed as the image came up on the screen. "That's your baby"

Robin giggled. "Yes Bren, that's baby Scorpio/Drake."

Brenda tapped the screen. "Hi there cutie – it's me, your godmother Brenda. I can't wait to meet you."

Kelly and Robin exchanged smiles. "Uh, Bren – you understand that that's a machine and the baby is in here, right?" Robin said pointing to her stomach.

"D'uh. I took health class in school." She continued to be mesmerized by the picture on the screen. "Robs, cover your ears." Robin made a face but did as her friend requested.

"Uh, Kelly?"

"Yes"

She pointed to a part of the screen. "Is that..you know…"

Kelly laughed. "No – that's the umbilical cord."

"Ooooh" Brenda said. "Cause I was going to say he is going to be VERY popular with the ladies."

Robin removed her hands from her ears. "Are you quite done, godmother?"

"Yes sweetie."

"How does she look Kelly?" Robin asked.

"I am still refusing to confirm the sex Robin – don't try and trick me. Your baby" she emphasized "looks great. Good length, good size and all development seems to be on track." Robin smiled in relief "Lots of movement?"

"All the time. Quite a little mover and shaker, she is."

"She gets that from her mom" Brenda interjected.

"You think it's a girl too?" Kelly asked.

"Of course it's a girl. I need someone to spoil with dresses and jewelry – a boy would be NO good for that."

"Are we still on for lunch?" Robin asked, pulling down her top.

"Sure. I just need to do up some notes. How about I meet you guys by the Nurses Station?"

"Sounds good – see you in a few."

xxxxxx

Brenda and Robin were seated on the couches when they noticed Patrick approach the Nurses Station to review a chart.

"God, look at him" Robin sighed. "Isn't he hot in a lab coat. It hides his ass but doesn't it show off his shoulders? God, he has the most amazing shoulders."

"Still horny?" Brenda asked, flipping through a magazine.

"God yes" Robin said unable to take her eyes from Patrick. Brenda noticed her stiffen and looking up from the magazine saw Bruce and his entourage coming through the hallway. Spotting Patrick, he stalked over to him.

"I suppose I have you to thank for this" Bruce hissed.

Patrick looked up non-chalantly. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Like hell you don't. I've just been excused from the GH board – no doubt your doing."

Patrick smiled evilly. "Your pec implants must be leaking silicone into your bloodstream if you think I have the kind of influence that could result in you getting booted from the board. Maybe you just weren't very good at your job."

Bruce took a step towards Patrick. "I am very good at everything I do" he said confidently.

"Except keeping a girlfriend" Patrick said, pulling himself up to his full height so that he towered over Bruce.

Bruce took another step towards him and Robin made a move to get up. Brenda clamped her hand on her and pulled her back down on the couch. "Leave it Robin. You do not want to get between two men demonstrating who has the bigger….hooha."

"Brenda, I can't let him goad Patrick into a fight."

"Patrick's a big boy. He'll get into a fight whether you want him to or not. If you go over there, he's going to go gorilla on Bruce just to protect you. You can't go over there." She stood up. "But I can" Brenda marched over to Patrick's side.

"Everything okay here?" Brenda asked touching Patrick's arm. Patrick looked at her in surprise and looking behind him, saw Robin sitting nervously on the couch.

"Everything's fine" Patrick said evenly.

"Brenda Barrett" Bruce said, looking at her.

"Asshole" Brenda replied.

"Having women fight your battles Drake?"

"I don't see any battle here. I've got it all – I have Robin and I have our baby. You have nothing, not even a seat on the hospital board."

Bruce took another step towards Patrick. "This isn't over – not by a long shot"

Brenda slipped in between Patrick and Bruce. "Keep walking Bruce. You are neither as smart nor as tough as you think you are. And if you do anything to upset either of my friends or my godchild, I will wait in the tall grass for you. Don't think I won't blow your world apart. I have time and money and I'm extremely creative"

Bruce looked at Brenda and then at Patrick. "Not over Drake." And he stalked to the elevators.


	74. Chapter 74

Chapter 74

Patrick watched as Bruce got on the elevator and made sure the doors were closed before walking over to Robin. Brenda followed him. "Are you okay?" he asked sitting down beside her.

"Am I okay? All I did was sit here. You two were the ones who went toe to toe with Poopy-head."

"Poopy-head?" Patrick asked smiling.

"I'm trying to swear less" she shrugged. "What did Bruce want?"

"He's been booted from the board and thought I had something to do with it."

"Did you?" she asked quickly.

"Wow – you're the second person to overestimate my influence. My guess is Nikolas and Alan were not that thrilled with him making a public spectacle of you or the hospital and showed him the door."

"Enough about Poopy-head" Brenda said. "Let's talk about my godchild."

"What did Kelly have to say?" he asked, grateful for the change in topic.

"I'm fine and the baby's fine. We are both growing on schedule" she sighed "and growing and growing."

Patrick put his hand on her stomach. "I like the way you're growing."

"Sheesh!" Brenda said covering her eyes. "Can you guys not go more than five minutes without groping each other?"

"You should have seen them when they first started dating, there wasn't a linen closet or supply room they didn't explore." All three looked up to see Epiphany beaming down at them.

"Epiphany!" Robin got up and threw her arms around the normally stern nurse.

"Goodness" she exclaimed, embracing the young doctor. "How are you feeling?" she asked, holding her back, admiring her glowing frame.

"Pretty good but I sure miss being here."

"And we miss you and all" she said. "It's hard to keep doctor happy pants in his place without you around."

"Hey!" Patrick protested. "I've been on my best behaviour."

"For whatever that's worth" Epiphany teased. "Kelly asked me to come and tell you that she won't be able to join you for lunch, she has an emergency c-section."

"That's too bad" Robin said, slightly disappointed.

"I'm sure you and Brenda can find any number of things to occupy your time." Patrick muttered. All three women fixed him with a look. Patrick held up his hands. "Clearly, I am outnumbered here."

"You're not as dumb as you look" Epiphany said before turning back to Robin. "You made sure you let him do all the heavy lifting – you have a little one to take care of."

"I will" Robin smiled. "It was good to see you."

"You too" Epiphany pulled her into a tight bear hug.

"Shall we shop?" Robin asked Brenda.

"My three favourite words. Let's go." Brenda held out her hand.

"Don't stay on your feet too long" Patrick pleaded as they headed towards the elevator.

"She's in my hands, Dimples."

"That's what I'm worried about." He gave them a small wave before returning to his charts at the Nurses Station.

xxxxx

Robin greeted him at the door as soon as he got home. "Hi baby" Standing on her tiptoes, she gave him a sweet kiss.

Patrick furrowed his brow. "What did you do?"

"What do you mean, what did I do?"

"You're meeting me at the door – so obviously you have spent a small fortune on shoes or you need my help burying a body – it's not Bruce is it? You didn't go all Scorpio/Devane on his ass and now need help hiding the evidence?" he asked hopefully, snaking his arms around her.

She playfully slapped his chest. "Aren't you just a comedian? I did not buy shoes and there are no bodies to be buried. Can't I just be happy to see you?" she asked trying to muster some indignity.

He stared at her. "You're hiding something. Better to tell me now because you know I'll figure it out."

"Figure out what? And you're terrible at puzzles – it takes you three days to do the New York Times crossword puzzle."

"Hey! You can't rush perfection – I get every clue without cheating."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah – you're a real hero."

"Stop stalling" He walked towards the kitchen while holding her.

"Well for starters, I think we should go away next weekend."

He looked at her in surprise. "You do?"

"I do. Soon I'm going to get too big to want to do anything and I think a little time away would be fun."

He sat down at the kitchen table. 'Where do you want to go? Manhattan? Boston?"

She smiled knowingly. "I have it all picked out but I'm going to keep it as a surprise for you. I've checked your schedule and you're off."

"Sounds great" he said, pulling her onto his lap.

"Am I too heavy for you?" she nuzzled his neck.

"You're perfect."

He searched out her lips and ran his tongue along her bottom lip before closing his mouth over hers. She pushed her tongue into his mouth and pulled herself closer to him, deepening the kiss. Patrick finally broke the kiss and tucked her hair behind her ears.

"Okay, we've had some making out, some distracting conversation an promise of a dirty weekend – what did you do?"

"I hate that you make it sound like I did something wrong" she said defensively.

"How can I say if it's wrong if I don't know what you've done – but clearly" he smiled at her "you have done something."

Robin sighed. "Brenda and I went shopping."

"I know but you said you didn't buy shoes….oh god…how many purses and do I need to build another closet to hold them?"

"Erm, no – we bought stuff for the baby."

Patrick looked at her in confusion. "That's great – why are you being all cagey? What did you buy?"

"Uh, it's upstairs."

"Well let's go see" he said gently removing her from his lap and standing up. He took her hand and but stopped when she didn't move with him. "What is it?"

"Just promise you won't freak out."

"Robin, you bought some stuff for the baby, why am I going to freak out?" He pulled her along with him as they climbed the stairs.

"Don't let the number of boxes overwhelm you" she said just before he opened the door to the baby's room.

He shook his head at her silliness and pushed the door back. His mouth dropped open as he took in the boxes piled to the ceiling. They were packed in so tightly, there was barely enough room to get inside.

"Did Kelly say you're carrying twins and this is how you wanted to tell me?" he asked staring at the boxes.

"No, no twins but babies need a lot of things"

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Apparently – is there a Ferrari in there?"

"Um – well, there's a crib, a change table, a rocking chair, a car seat for newborns, another car seat for when she gets older, a stroller, a high chair, a bookcase, pillows and sheets and a few stuffed animals."

"I see" he turned to look at her. "And you plan to put this together when?"

"Don't be silly – you heard Epiphany – you're supposed to do all the heavy lifting. I'm sure your father and my father would be happy to help you out."

"I suppose you've already invited them?" he asked smirking at her.

"Well it's entirely possible that I called them and let them know how thrilled you would be with their help."

"Thrilled? Thrilled?" He pointed to his face. "Robin look at me – is there anything about this that says I'm thrilled?"

"I think you really just need to warm up to the idea" she offered cheerfully.

"You want my father, your father and I to spend hours in an enclosed space trying to build furniture?"

She nodded. "Just think of the bonding."

"Bonding? Robin, it's going to be like Survivor on steroids – there is a real chance we may not all come out of the room,"

"God – you're such a drama queen. Brenda, Lulu and I will be here baking cookies."

"Brenda and Lulu? Am I being punished for something?"

"I have a way to make it up to you" she said in a sing song voice.

"I doubt it" he grumbled looking back at the boxes.

She ran her hand over his waist and tucked it into the back pocket of his pants, giving his butt a squeeze. "I am still ridiculously horny" she said huskily.

He looked down at her, narrowing his eyes. "You better stay that way for a long long time" he teased. "And there better be some kind of grape feeding when we're in Australia."

"Australia? Why on earth would we be in Australia?"

"To celebrate the birth of our son"

"Oh, do you mean our second child? Because we are having a girl."

"I am going to love being right" he lowered his head and nipped at her lips.

xxxxxx

"Don't you think it's shocking that there are two brain surgeons and a spy all working together and they still can't put a crib together?" Brenda teased.

"Shocking" Robin repeated.

"Astonishing" Lulu chimed in.

Patrick looked up in frustration. Robert, Noah and Patrick had spent the better part of an afternoon working on the boxes and had managed to put the change table and the rocking chair together but were struggling with the crib. "The instructions are in Spanish" he said through gritted teeth.

"But you guys are supposed to be geniuses – this can't possibly be more complicated than the human brain" Robin joked.

"You'd be surprised" Noah said, cursing under his breath.

Robert looked at the three women staring at him. "Hey don't look at me, my expertise isn't putting things together, it's blowing things up."

"We may need that expertise yet" Patrick muttered. "Dammit, why can't I get this to go in?" his mounting frustration was evident as he tried to jam the sliding rail into the crib. Lulu walked into the room and took the railing from him. Flipping it around in her hands, she expertly slid it into position. Winking at him, she headed back to the doorway with the other women.

Patrick stared at her dumbfounded. "How…what…how long did you know I had it upside down?"

Lulu shrugged. "For about 20 minutes."

"And you saw no reason to share this information with me?"

"At first it was fun to watch you struggle but then it just got boring and I needed to put you out of my misery."

He looked at Robin. "My reward – better be for MONTHS Robin – for months!"

Robin giggled. "Come on girls, the animals are getting punchy – let's leave them to it" All three men growled at their departure.

xxxxxx

Long after everyone had left, Patrick sat in the rocking chair in the baby's room with Robin on his lap. "Everything looks great" she said as she ran her hands along the back of his neck.

"It looks like a real baby's room" Patrick remarked.

"That's good because Kelly assures me we are having a real baby."

Patrick turned to her, smiling and pressed his lips into her neck. "I can't wait – I really can't."

"It's going to be amazing"

"It's going to be scary."

"We're going to be great parents" Robin said reassuringly.

"I admire your confidence" Patrick said, staring at the crib.

"We love our child – that's where great parenting starts" Patrick absently rubbed her burgeoning belly and rested his head on her shoulder. She ran her hands through his hair. "Are you okay? You seem a little….far" Robin asked.

Patrick swallowed. "It's Gracie's birthday tomorrow – she's going to be four."

Robin grimaced. "And you still haven't heard from Nathalie."

He shook his head. "I don't expect to. She was pretty clear about the hating me/never forgiving me thing – it's been more than a month. I sent her two emails and called but haven't heard from her."

"You miss them."

"A lot" he said hoarsely. "I have a gift for her. I found a photo of Drew when they were visiting me in Manhattan – she can't have been more than six months. He had put her on the floor of my kitchen and then got down on the floor facing her. The look on their faces is priceless."

Robin pressed her lips into the side of his head. He had been unwilling to speak about Nathalie and the kids since the night they left but she knew he was struggling with it. The hurt tinged his voice. "Why don't you send it anyway?"

"Nathalie will probably return it unopened."

She shrugged. "So let her. Just because she's given up doesn't mean you have to. Keep trying with her Patrick, at some point she'll be ready to forgive."

"Hope springs eternal" he said bitterly. He looked up at her and brushed his fingers along her chin. "Promise me something?"

"Anything"

"Promise me that no matter what happens between us, however things end up, you won't take our child away from me?"

Robin's face softened. "Do you really think I would do that?"

He shook his head. "No, but Robin" he rubbed her belly "I've never wanted anything as much as I've wanted this baby and I think it would be the end of me if I couldn't be part of its life."

She put her hand over his on her stomach. "You are a part of this baby and nothing will ever change that."


	75. Chapter 75

Chapter 75

"Is the blindfold really necessary?" Patrick whined.

"Yes – it's a surprise" Robin said, slapping his hand away as he tried to lift it.

"I keep bumping into things."

"Well if you would just take my hand and stop fighting me then you wouldn't be tripping over anything."

"Fine" he said, gripping her hand. "Lead on, thought I don't know you couldn't just surprise me by telling me where we're going as opposed to this" he grumbled.

"Do you ever stop whining?" she teased.

"If I say no will you let me take the blindfold off?"

"Not a chance buster – watch your left foot, there's a rock there." Robin guided him around the rocks and helped him up the steps. "Are you ready?"

"Finally" he sighed.

Robin stood on her tiptoes and undid the blindfold. It took Patrick several seconds to adjust to the light. Finally realizing where he was, he turned to Robin and grinned at her. "Back to the scene of the crime?" he said.

Robin ran her hand along his waist. "Jax gave me the key so we won't have to break in this time."

She dangled the key in front of him. Wanting a weekend away, she arranged with Jax to go to the cabin where they had made love for the first time. They had found the cabin by accident the first time. Out on a picnic, it had begun to rain and in a desperate attempt to stay dry had found the quaint cabin in the woods. It had turned into a magical night for them and put them on the path that brought them to this very moment.

Patrick pressed her against the railing, urgently coaxing her lips apart with his tongue. He cupped her face as he kissed her deeply, moaning as she met his tongue with hers and began to massage it. "I like the way you think" he said, breathlessly when they finally broke apart.

"Well if you like this, wait until we get inside" she said seductively.

"Oh?" he wiggled his eyebrows.

"It's time for your reward for putting all the baby furniture together."

He snaked his arms around her waist and belly as she put the key in the lock. He nuzzled her neck as she pushed the door open. Patrick stopped as they walked through the door. Jax had set the cabin up with two beautiful floral arrangements and candles. He also had a bottle of champagne and a smaller bottle of gingerale chilling with two crystal flutes.

"Wow" he said in awe.

"Just you and I for the whole weekend." Robin turned around and pulled him further in to the cabin by the hand.

"I really, really like the sound of that."

Robin pulled him towards her and running her hands up his chest, nipping his lower lip. Patrick scooped her up in his arms, prompting Robin to shriek. "Patrick! I'm too heavy!" she kicked her legs lightly in an effort to get him to put her down.

"No you're not – I'm a lot stronger than you give me credit for" he said as sucked on her ear lobe.

He placed her gently on the bed and lay beside her. He let his hand slowly explore the curve of her breast, moving down to her waist and hips before running his fingers gently along her outer thigh. Robin closed her eyes, lost in the electricity of his touch. "I love your body" he said as he dropped feathery kisses along her collarbone. Robin ran her hands through his hair, sighing deeply against the feel of his breath on her skin.

"There's a lot more of it now compared to the last time we were here."

"It's great and I'm not nervous like I was last time." He lowered his head, brushing his lips against her nipple.

"Wait" Robin said, arching involuntarily to him. "You were nervous?"

Patrick propped himself up on one elbow. "You weren't?"

"I didn't think you were ever nervous with sex" she teased.

He kissed her lips lightly. "It wasn't the sex that was making me nervous"

Robin stroked his face. "Then what was it?"

Patrick let out a long sigh and sat up against the headboard. He pulled Robin beside him, wrapping his arm around her and interlacing his fingers with hers. "Remember when we broke up?"

"Which time?"

"Funny girl. At the hospital, the night of Justus' funeral."

"Yes, that one is burned in my memory"

He kissed the top of her head. "You said that there was more going on between us than sex…"

"And you denied it" she interjected.

"I lied"

Robin gasped in mock horror. "You don't say!"

"Smartass" he grumbled. "Anyway as I was saying – I lied. I didn't want to admit it to myself let alone to you but I had started developing feelings for you long ago. Even the day that we wound up here, I knew I had feelings for you and it was only confirmed when we made love."

"Don't you mean, had sex?"

He shook his head. "I've had a lot of sex Robin but I had never made love until I was with you here. It was mind bending and amazing but there was a moment, where I looked at you and I saw possibilities."

"And it freaked you out?" she asked quietly.

"Freak out doesn't even begin to describe it. It terrified me."

"And now?"

"I'm not terrified…"

"But?" Robin heard the hesitation in his voice.

"I still find it overwhelming at times. Not in a bad way" he added quickly "but I just never knew that I could feel this way about someone. I never thought I would and I didn't think I wanted to."

Robin dropped a kiss on his chest. "I didn't think I would feel this way again either. I had resigned myself to the notion that I had experienced love twice – great love in fact and that was as many kicks at the can as I was going to get."

"I want to be your last kick at the can" he said quietly.

"You are."

They lay in each other's arms, Patrick gently stroking her arm and absently kissing the top of her head. Robin pressed her ear against his chest, listening to his heart beat, mesmerized by its steady rhythm. That's what he was to her – steady. She knew she could count on him, rely on him. Patrick was generally always calm and assessed a situation before acting.

"Does it bother you that I haven't asked you to marry me?"

Robin lifted her head in surprise. "Where did that come from?"

Patrick pushed her hair from her face. "I don't know – I just…I guess.. I mean the ideal is for a child to have two parents committed to each other, right?"

"Patrick – marriage doesn't guarantee a commitment to each other. Rings don't guard against anything. I don't think we're ready to be married – do you?"

He shook his head. "Not really but you know – illegitimate child and all."

"Patrick Drake" Robin said sternly. "Our child is legitimate and we don't need to be married or have a piece of paper to say so."

"Down girl" he said smiling. "It's just, it hadn't come up and I didn't know if it was something that you wanted …"

Robin pressed her lips in to his. "Some day I would like to be married. But I only want to be married because that's what we, as a couple, have decided is right for us. Marriage is a huge thing, having a baby is a huge thing and I think we should concentrate on one huge thing at a time. I love you Patrick – I love you with everything I have and I don't need a ring or a ceremony to confirm that. It's all right in here" she tapped her heart. "In the meantime, I think things are working quite well for us and why jinx it."

"You know I love you right?" he said, somewhat urgently. "I mean, I may not always tell you and I'm not that romantic of a guy but you do know I love you?"

Robin rolled on to her side and propped herself up. "Patrick, I don't need big gestures or to be constantly told to know that you love me. Every single day you do a million little things, whether it's kissing me, getting my meds, talking to my belly, stroking my hair or smiling at me, you do a million little things that show me you love me and that's all I need."

Patrick pressed his body against hers and slowly lowered his head, capturing her mouth in a kiss. His thumb stroked her cheek as he kissed her, tasting her. Robin tossed her leg over his hip, pulling him in tighter. She giggled as her belly got in the way. "Our daughter.."

"Son" he said breathlessly, as he assaulted her neck.

"Our child is getting in the way" she laughed.

"Not at all" he said, pushing her gently on to her back.

Hovering above her, he nipped at her lips and neck, before letting his hand trail, undoing the buttons on her shirt one by one. Robin smiled as she saw his eyes darken with desire when her shirt fell open. He started appreciatively at her body before lowering his head between her breasts, leaving the lightest of kisses. His mouth traveled slowly over to her left breast, pushing her bra out of the way. He circled her nipple with his tongue, causing Robin to moan and fist his hair with her hands. Blowing on it, he felt himself harden as her nipple stiffened and puckered. As the room spun in front of her, Robin closed her eyes and surrendered to the feeling of him palming her right breast. He kneaded it with increasing pressure and her legs began to part as her arousal was heightened. Patrick's hand traveled down her leg and under her skirt. He grazed his fingers over her hot centre and raised his head to look at her as he felt how wet she was. Robin bit her bottom lip as he slipped his hands inside her panties, tracing her outline with fingers before sliding a finger inside her. Her hips arched up against his hand as his thumb drew small circles over her clit. Robin's breathing became ragged and she widened her legs further as he pumped his hand in and out of her. She grabbed hold of the sheets, tossing her head back and forth as he increased the pressure and the pace.

"You are so beautiful" he said huskily, trying to ignore his painful erection straining against his pants.

Robin tried to hold off the feelings, wanting to prolong the sensation but his hand was too insistent and her body began to shake and shudder as her orgasm took hold. She called out his name as he continued until she was spent. Panting, her damp hair pressed against her forehead Robin slowly opened her eyes. "I'm supposed to be rewarding you" she said quietly.

He kissed her neck. "Trust me –watching you get off is a reward."

Robin groaned. "My turn."

Kneeling up, she peeled off her open blouse and bra and tossed it to the floor. Sliding off the bed, she stared at Patrick as she shimmied out of her skirt. Patrick shifting as the throbbing between his legs increased. She hooked her panties around her thumbs and slowly took them off. She boldly stood in front of him, naked and smiling.

"You…You" he started again, feeling his mouth go dry at the sight of her. "Oh Robin." She crawled on the bed towards him and straddling his hips, undid his shirt and pushed it off his shoulders. She kissed his chest from right to left, running her tongue over his nipples. "Christ Robin" he said, unable to concentrate on anything other than her touch.

He felt dizzy as her tiny hands ran over his torso before landing on his belt buckle. Undoing it quickly, she moved off of him so he could remove his jeans. He groaned as his erection was finally free. Reaching for the condom he had put on the nightstand, she stared at him as she stroked him slowly, languidly before finally giving into his begging and sheathing him. She straddled him again and slowly lowered herself onto him. It was a relief to finally be inside her, to feel her wrapped tightly around him. Taking hold of her hips, he began to thrust almost immediately – desperate to be with her. Robin rode him slowly, ignoring his silent urging to go faster. His mouth fell open and his breathing coming in spurts as Robin leaned forward and sucked on his neck. His tasted sweet to her and she could never get enough. He began to buck against her hips and she could tell that he was nearing the end. He gripped her hips hard and slammed into her as his climax came in wave after wave.

She collapsed against him and he draped his arms around her, their bodies slick with sweat. "I love you" he whispered into her ear.

"Mmm" she responded, snuggling against him.

xxxxxx

Reaching for Robin, Patrick opened his eyes when he discovered the bed was empty. Lifting his head he saw her wrapped in a blanket, sitting in front of the fire. "Hey" he said, getting out of bed. Robin looked up and smiled, holding open her blanket. Patrick walked to her and settled in front of her. She wrapped the blanket around them both and held him against her. She dropped a kiss on his shoulder.

"You built a fire" he remarked.

"And found the strawberries and chocolate Jax left us" she said dipping a berry in the chocolate sauce and placing it between his lips.

"Are you taking care of me?" he asked, leaning his head back against her.

"Yes" she said firmly. "You are always taking care of me and I want to do this for you."

"You've taken care of me plenty of times" he said, looking into the fire. The memory of them in his hotel room after he received Andrew's letter was never far from his mind. He had only once before let someone be there for him in that way and it was ironic that it took that person's death for it to happen a second time.

Robin knew exactly where his mind was and tightened her grip on him. "That was different."

"This place is magic" he whispered.

"It's the place where I knew I was in love with you" Robin said.

Patrick turned his head. "Really?"

She nodded. "You know that moment you talked about? I had the same one."

"I guess it was meant to be" he said as he brushed against her lips.

"I guess so" she kissed him lightly. "This is our place then."

"We have a place?"

"We have a place."

xxxxxx

"So did you guys put any clothes on this weekend at all?" Brenda asked.

"Brreeeenda!" Robin screeched into her cell phone. "God but you are embarrassing"

"I'm embarrassing? I'm not the one who can't go more than 30 seconds without trying to grope my boyfriend"

"I can go longer than 30 seconds"

"Not much if Patrick's limping is anything to go by" Brenda snorted. "Are you here yet? I have Lulu with me. And it's way past our lunch time Robin."

"I'm almost there, I just had to do something at the hospital" she said as she exited the front doors of GH.

"Don't you mean do someone?" Brenda teased.

"Seriously, Bren – you need help. Hey I can see you!" Robin waved to Brenda and Lulu standing across the street.

"Okay, hang up and make sure you cross at the lights."

"Yes safety bear. See you in a minute" Robin said before snapping her phone shut.

"Robin."

She spun around and felt instantly sick.

"Bruce – what are you doing here? There's a restraining order."

"I…I just want to talk to you."

"I have nothing to say to you" she said firmly, before turning around, waiting for the walk signal.

He took hold of her arm. "Robin – I miss you."

She tried to shake him off but he was too strong. "No you don't. Christ Bruce you have turned my life upside down and publicly humiliated me. You have gone after my friends and my family and resemble nothing of the man I knew in Paris." She shook her arm again. "GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!" she yelled.

"Robin – I just…"

"Just what? Just what?? Do you even know what you're fighting for?"

"I'm in love with you."

Robin was stunned into silence. "In love with me? Holy shit – you really ought to be medicated. You don't love me – you don't even LIKE me. You have a picture in your head and you think I'm going fulfill that for you. I'm not a picture Bruce, I'm not a campaign prop. I'm a real person who is in love with someone else."

"If you gave me a chance.."

"NO!! I could NEVER EVER love you." Robin tried once again to pull free and ran off the sidewalk. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" she cried.

Lulu looked across the street and saw Robin trying to break away from Bruce. She stepped off the curb and froze. "ROBIN!!" she called out to her and began to run.

Turning to look at Lulu, she snapped her head back when she heard the squealing tires. Shattering glass was the very last sound she heard before everything went black.


	76. Chapter 76

Chapter 76

Lulu stumbled to the ground as she rushed to get to Robin. Scrambling to her feet, she tried to remain calm as she got to Robin's lifeless body. Robin was face down on the pavement, both legs bent in unnatural positions. Lulu gently turned her over and felt for a pulse. She let out a small sigh of relief as she felt a faint thumping against the fingers pressed into Robin's neck. Lowering her head, she realized Robin was not breathing and immediately pinched her nose and closed her mouth over hers to breathe for her.

Brenda, frozen in her spot, suddenly realized what was happening and ran to Lulu and Robin. The driver of the car was standing over them.

"Oh my god – I'm so sorry – I didn't see her" he repeated over and over again.

"Brenda" Lulu said, in between breaths, "call 9-1-1".

Robin suddenly began to wheeze and breathe on her own. Feeling her own heart beating out of her chest, Lulu picked her up as gently as she could and pushing past the growing crowd, ran towards the hospital with Brenda following closely behind. She kicked open the ER doors and with a limp Robin in her arms stood in the waiting area.

"Help! I need help!" she cried desperately.

Epiphany looked up from her charts and at first didn't believe the sight in front of her. Kicking in to command and control mode, she paged Kelly and Noah while ordering Liz to get a gurney. Liz looked over and her mouth fell open as she saw her sister-in-law, disheveled, holding the battered and bruised body of her friend. Liz grabbed a stretcher and ran towards Lulu.

"Lu – Lulu – put her down on the stretcher" It took a moment for Lulu to focus on Liz's voice. Her arms were burning under the weight of Robin and her legs were shaking but she was afraid to put her down. "It's okay Lu – we've got her here."

"She…she..hit by a car" Lulu said as she put her down.

"We're going to take good care of her Lulu – just have a seat" Liz said as she and another nurse ran with Robin's stretcher to the trauma room.

Brenda came up beside her. "Are you..you okay?" she asked breathlessly. Brenda winced at the tightness in her chest, absently wondering if this was what a heart attack felt like. Epiphany approached the two women.

"Are you both okay?" she asked. They nodded wordlessly.

"Is Robin going to be okay?" Lulu asked, not taking her eyes from the hallway that Liz had run down.

"We're going to do everything we can." Epiphany looked at Lulu and her eyes narrowed as she saw the blood on her hands, her shirt and the corner of her mouth. "Lulu" she began slowly "Where did all that blood come from?"

Brenda looked at Lulu in horror.

Lulu shrugged and kept watching the hallway. "Someone needs to call Patrick."

Reaching for a pair of gloves in her pocket, Epiphany put them on before reaching for Lulu's hands. "Lulu – where did these scratches come from?"

"I fell trying to get to Robin. I saw her get hit….it was the most awful sound in the world."

Brenda's knees began to shake and she felt the bile rise in her throat. "Lulu…" she began.

Epiphany looked at her. "Brenda, why don't you call Patrick – he's on duty right now. I'm going to take Lulu and examine her."

"Did I do something wrong?" Lulu asked in confusion.

The nurse could only shake her head. "No child…we just want to clean up your scrapes." She took Lulu by the arm and led her to an exam room. Passing by the Nurses Station she asked one of the other nurses to page Alan Quartermaine to the exam room.

xxxxxxx

Brenda's hands shook furiously as she tried to call up Patrick's number on her speed dial. She had him saved under Dimples, a fact that had caused him no end of embarrassment. Finally steadying her hand long enough to find the right key, she hit it and took a deep breath as she waited for him to answer.

"Drake."

"Pa- Pa – Patrick" she stammered "It's Brenda"

"What's up? Your credit card get declined?"

"Patrick – it's Robin" she said hurriedly.

He felt his stomach drop immediately. "Where is she?"

"In the ER…Patrick…" Brenda looked at her phone as the line went dead.

As the charts in his hands dropped to the floor, Patrick took off running for the ER. Too impatient to wait for the elevators, he ran down the eight flights of stairs and began to throw open the door of every trauma room until he found the one where Robin was. He stopped in the doorway, unable to breathe. She was hooked up to a heart monitor and fetal monitor. He could tell by the position of her legs that both were broken in several places. There were bloody sponges on the floor and at least six staff all rushing about. There was blood hung in transfusion bags, next to i.v. fluids.

"Kel.." he opened his mouth but found it difficult to make any sound. He swallowed hard. "Kelly"

Kelly looked up and for a brief second was awash in sympathy for the doctor who had become a friend. "Patrick – we are taking her to surgery in a couple of minutes."

"How bad is it?"

"It's bad" Noah said. Patrick turned his head, he hadn't even noticed his father reviewing films at the side of the room. "She had extensive injuries Patrick –closed head injury – we need to get in and relieve the swelling." His heart broke as he watched the pain encompass Patrick's face. He noticed his knees trembling as Patrick reached for the door to steady himself.

"The baby?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Kelly shook her head. "We're going to have to do a c-section. Her membranes are ruptured and there are tears in her placenta"

"But it's too soon" he said urgently.

Kelly walked towards him and put her hand on his arm. "Babies can survive at this stage – it's a low percentage of survival but it does happen."

Patrick swayed a little on his feet. There was an unreal element to everything around him. Less than 24 hours ago they had been wrapped in each other's arms, in bed. Patrick had been talking to her belly, teasing their child about how he was going to take him and his mother to Australia because he was so sure their little one was a boy. He struggled to remember if he had told her he loved her. He thought he had but wasn't sure.

"Patrick" Kelly's commanding tone pulled him from his reverie.

"What?"

"I have to ask – if we can't save both…." She let the question hang in the air. It was never an easy question to ask but it was all the harder because she knew them both so well and knew what the baby meant to them.

"Robin – you have to save Robin" he said quickly. "Kelly- you MUST save Robin." She nodded. "Can I be with her for a minute?"

"Just a minute Patrick because we have to get going."

Patrick brushed past her and took Robin's hand. He winced at the sight of the blood on her face and the ugly bruises forming on her head. "Hey" he said, bending down to her ear. "You have to come through this – do you hear me? You can't give up – not now." His voice became thick with tears as he focused completely on her. The noise of the room was reduced to a hum as he gripped her hand tighter. "You listen to me and you listen good Scorpio – you make whatever deals you need to make and I don't care if it's with God or the devil himself – you just do what you have to do to get back to me. I need you – I don't want to do any of this without you. I love you – you have to come back to me."

Noah stood completely still as he watched his only child beg the woman he loved to live. It had been the one thing that Patrick had run from his entire life and in the end it didn't matter how far he ran, what had sustained him for the last few months now threatened to destroy him.

"Patrick, we have to go" Kelly said as the porters began to move the stretcher.

"Kelly.."

She nodded. "Save Robin – I got it."

Noah put his hand on Patrick's shoulder as he walked by. "Dad" he called out to him.

Noah turned and smiled as reassuringly as he could. "I'm going to work every miracle I know Patrick – every single one."

Patrick nodded mutely. He watched as Robin and the entourage disappeared from view. He stood alone in the middle of the empty trauma room and tried in vain to hold back his tears. The woman he loved and his child – there was no guarantee they would both survive – there was no guarantee that either would. He let out several deep breaths and went in search of Brenda. She wasn't hard to find – she was pacing furiously in front of the chairs, rubbing her hands nervously. Her face was a mess of tear stains and make up. Her normal bronzed glow was now pale and she looked around the room as if there was some kind of answer to be found.

"Brenda" he called to her. Spinning around, she sprinted to him and threw herself against him, pulling him tightly in a hug.

"Did you see her? Is she okay? What about the baby?" her questions came out like gunfire.

He directed her past the Nurses Station into a small office. "She's in surgery" he was in doctor mode "she has several serious injuries including a closed head trauma. My father is going to operate on that. They are going to have to deliver the baby by c-section."

"Now? They can't – my godchild isn't ready"

"Ready or not, the child is being born today" he said flatly.

"Can it live?"

"Kelly says yes – there's not a high survival rate at this stage but babies have been known to live."

"Oh Patrick" Brenda sighed as a fresh batch of tears tumbled down her face.

He took her hand and tried to reassure her. He wanted someone to reassure him, he wanted Robin to wake up and reassure him but that just wasn't possible right now. "Brenda what happened? I thought she was meeting you and Lulu for lunch."

"She was. She just stepped off the curb and this car came out of nowhere and hit her. God, Patrick, it was the most sickening sound."

He cringed at her words. Given the extent of her injuries, it was clear to him that the car had hit her with a lot of force and that she was likely thrown a great distance. He shook his head, trying to free his mind from the image. "Where's Lulu?" he asked, distractedly.

"Oh god, Lulu" Brenda said, suddenly remembering.

"What? Is she hurt?" his focus was suddenly sharp.

"She brought her here, Patrick. She ran to her – I couldn't move but Lulu ran to her and she gave her mouth to mouth and then picked her up and carried her here."

Patrick's eyes narrowed. "Where is she?"

"She had blood all over her" she said flatly.

"Brenda! Where is Lulu?"

"That nurse, Epiphany – she took her to get cleaned up."

Patrick exhaled. "Stay here – I'll be right back. She's going to be in surgery for a while Brenda – please call her father and uncle and whoever else should be here. I'll be back." He got up and walked to the exam rooms. He opened each door a crack until he heard Alan's voice. He closed his eyes before opening the door fully.

"This is the prescription for the PEP protocol that we discussed Lulu. You need to take it for four weeks" he said handing her a piece of paper. "I'll put a rush on your test results. Do you have any questions?"

She shook her head. Patrick stared at her. Her hands were bandaged and she had changed from whatever she had been wearing into a scrub top. She stared, dumbfounded at the prescription in her hands. He felt a wave of nausea come over him.

"Oh Lulu" was all he could say.


	77. Chapter 77

Chapter 77

Chapter 77

Alan and Lulu both looked over to a stricken Patrick standing in the doorway. Alan made his way to the door. "I'll follow up with the lab." Stopping, he put a hand on Patrick's shoulder. "Patrick, I am so sorry to hear about Robin. She matters a great deal to many of us here at the hospital and I will be saying a prayer for her and your child."

"Thanks Alan" he said, unable to take his eyes from Lulu.

Patrick walked through the door and Alan closed it behind him as he left. "How are you?" he said, searching her face for some kind of reaction.

"How's Robin?" she asked, a small grimace framing the edge of her face.

"She's alive, thanks to you. Lulu" he walked towards her and gently picked up her bandaged hands. He ran his thumbs over both of them. "you didn't have to…."

"Yes I did" she cut him off. "Robin was hurt and she needed help."

"You've taken a huge risk."

"I don't care" she said defiantly. "I would do it again – this is Robin, Patrick. She needed help."

He surprised her as he pulled her into a hug. "Lulu…I don't know what to say – thank you seems inadequate."

"You don't have to thank me" she said against his shoulder.

He pulled back and tilted her chin upwards. "Are you okay?"

"Are you?"

"I'm a bit of a mess."

"Me too. I wish I had gotten to her sooner. I saw that asshole hassling her and I tried to get across the street but there were too many cars."

Patrick's blood ran cold. "What asshole?"

"Bobby – Bruce – whatever his name is. Robin was getting ready to cross the street to meet us and he pulled her by the arm to talk to her. She tried to shake him off but he wouldn't let her. She ran into the street to get away from him and that's when the car got her. Patrick, I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner."

Patrick shook his head. He thought his brain was going to short circuit; it was too much information, too many feelings, too much fear to process. He opted to concentrate on only the things in front of him and one at a time.

"Lulu, nothing here is your fault and trust me when I tell you Bruce is going to pay. But for the moment, I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine" she said dismissively.

"Do you understand how huge this all is?"

"Does it change anything?" she said. "Patrick, what's done is done."

He hugged her again. "You are quite possibly the bravest person I've ever met."

"Where's Brenda?" she asked, uncomfortable with the attention and trying to change the subject.

"Let's go find her." He helped her off the table and smirked as she rejected his arm.

Walking out together, they stopped first at the office where he had left Brenda. Seeing she wasn't there, they walked to the waiting room. Patrick stopped for a moment as he saw the number of people milling about. It felt like half of Port Charles suddenly appeared. Robert was pacing while Lucky and Mac were deep in conversation. Georgie and Maxie were talking to Brenda while Nikolas stood off to the side watching everything. Robert spotted Patrick first.

"Do you have any news?" he asked, causing everyone to look up.

"She's in surgery – she has quite a few injuries and they are delivering the baby by c-section" he said monotonously. "It's touch and go right now but she has my dad working on her head injuries and she has Kelly delivering the baby. She's in good hands."

Robert nodded. There was nothing to say. No platitudes or claps on the back were going to make any of this better. His daughter was, not for the first time, fighting for her life. He wondered exactly how many times did one enter that ring before they would finally be knocked out. Even heavyweights champions went down for the count from time to time. Robert watched as Patrick sank heavily into the seat beside Brenda. Though he would never tell him, he felt a certain kinship with him. It went beyond the rogue playboy front and moved into the idea that they had both been men who eschewed commitment and being tied down until the one person they couldn't live without appeared in front of them. He knew that Patrick loved his daughter totally. He admired that her HIV was not a stumbling block to him and his heart broke as Patrick took on the haggard look of a man who had everything to lose.

Lulu sat across from Brenda and Patrick staring out the front door. Nikolas came and sat beside her. "Hey Lulu" he said gently.

Lulu looked quickly at Brenda to see if she had said anything. Brenda met her eyes and almost imperceptibly shook her head.

"Hey Nik – how's Spencer?"

"He's okay. How are you? What happened to your hands?" he said, examining one of her bandaged hands.

"I fell."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

Patrick looked at her and knew her look well. Lulu was terrified but the feelings were being held back by the numbness and shock of what she saw and her conversation with Alan about the potential of being HIV+. He could see by the set of her chin that she planned on doing this alone, that she thought herself tougher than anything. She reminded him very much of Robin. He also knew from his own experience that it was a losing proposition to think you could out tough a situation - some things in life were just bigger than you and you needed friends to help you through. He didn't know if Lulu had a best friend, looking around the room it didn't appear that she did. She would be furious with what he was about to do but she needed support and he wouldn't be able to give her much.

"Lulu's not fine" he said looking at Nikolas.

She glared at him. "Shut up Patrick"

Nikolas looked between the two of them with concern. "What's going on?"

"Shut up" she repeated.

"Lulu you can't do this by yourself" he said gently. He turned to Nikolas. "She saved Robin by getting her to the hospital. She was the first person to reach her after she was hit and she even gave her mouth to mouth." Nikolas looked at Lulu in surprise. "The thing is Nikolas, she scraped her hands getting to Robin and Robin was bleeding quite a bit. She was even bleeding from the mouth when Lulu gave her mouth to mouth." Lulu looked at the ground. "Alan has her on the PEP protocol and Robin's viral load is practically zero so it is highly unlikely that Lulu will test positive."

Nikolas heard the words but had difficulty processing them. He turned to her, trying to fight back the tears that had mysteriously appeared in his eyes. "Lulu" he said. She wouldn't meet his eyes. Nikolas put his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. She rested her head on his shoulder and he kissed the top of her head. "You never cease to amaze me." Lulu gave Patrick a small smile which he returned.

Unable to sit still any longer he stood up and jammed his hands in his pockets. He had never been on this side of the ER and decided that he much preferred to be in control, running the show. Waiting was excruciating, made worse by the fact that he knew the fight Robin was in. He understood, in minute detail what her injuries were and it only disturbed him more. Brenda reached out, putting a hand on his leg. Normally impossible to shut up, it was as though the shock had made her mute. Looking down at her, he did his best to give a reassuring smile.

_Fake it until you make it. _

Andrew had made that their mantra in med school. He hadn't thought of it some time but it seemed to fit now. If he could fake optimism, maybe the real thing would follow.

Andrew.

If there was one person he wanted with him now, even more than his father, it was him. There would be no need for words, no need for explanations; he would just be there, beside him, letting him steal strength from him. He would give almost anything to have Andrew with him. He would give everything to have Robin survive.

A movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention. He slowly turned his head and his entire body tensed. Brenda, her hand still on his leg, felt the change in his body. She looked up. "What is it?" Following his gaze, she breathed in sharply. "Patrick…" Before she could finish her sentence, Patrick had practically flown across the room, letting out an animalistic growl as he landed on Bruce.

Bruce had been lurking in the far corner of the ER, trying to see what Robin's situation was. Rage seeped from every pore and Patrick began to pound on him. He drove his fist into his face, pummeled his chest, oblivious to Bruce's cries of pain or for mercy. He didn't even realize he had been pulled off of him until his punch hit nothing but air.

"Easy son – don't kill him yet" Robert said, holding him back. "We're not quite done with him" Patrick's entire being shook, the tendons in his neck strained as he tried to get at him again.

"Patrick! That's enough!" Mac ordered as Lucky pulled a battered and bleeding Bruce from the ground. "Cuff him Lucky."

"Bruce Harris, you are under arrest for the attempted murder of Robin Scorpio and for violation of the restraining order against you. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say, can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford one, one will be provided.." Lucky's voice trailed from Patrick's hearing as Bruce was led from the ER. He turned to Robert, still wild-eyed with rage.

"He has to go Robert….he may have…"

"Don't finish that thought mate – don't do it. You need to concentrate on Robin and the baby."

"Patrick" He turned at the sound of Brenda's voice. She pointed to Epiphany. "She wants to talk to you."

Patrick, Robert and Mac walked towards Epiphany, her surgical mask undone around her neck. "The c-section is complete"

"And?" Patrick asked hurriedly.

"The baby is very small and is on a vent but alive. Congratulations Patrick, you have a son."


	78. Chapter 78

Chapter 78

Patrick blinked several times. "A so – a son?" he asked.

Epiphany smiled at him. "A son. He's little – he weighs just over a pound and is less than 12 inches long but he's alive."

Brenda squeezed his arm but Patrick could barely feel her. The swirl of emotions threatened to overtake him. He swallowed thickly and looked again at Epiphany.

"Can I see him?" his voice, just above a whisper.

She shook her head. "Not yet. It'll be another hour but I promise I'll come and find you as soon as he's ready to meet his daddy."

"Daddy" Patrick repeated absently. He gave his head a quick shake. "And Robin? How's it going in the OR?"

Epiphany willed herself not to betray any emotions in her face. "Your father is still working on her and Dr. Leblanc from Ortho is working on her legs. She needs pins and plates."

"How much longer do you think she'll be?" Brenda asked, suddenly coming to life.

The nurse set her mouth in a grim line. "Hours yet – there's a lot of repair work to be done." She looked again at Patrick. "I'll come find you when the baby is ready. In the meantime, why don't you move the family room on the 9th floor? You'll be much more comfortable there." Epiphany walked away. She had decided not to tell them that Robin's heart had already stopped once on the table – there was no point. They managed to revive her and were carrying on. The details didn't matter; all that mattered was making sure she survived.

Patrick sank into the nearest seat. He put his head in his hands and began to take deep breaths.

A son.

He had a son. He didn't know it was possible for his heart to break from sadness and explode from happiness all at the same time. He felt so torn, he wanted to go the gallery and watch Robin but he wanted to run to the NICU and be with their child. It was too much to process and suddenly feeling like he was going to pass out, he closed his eyes and tried to steady his breathing.

He felt a strong hand on his shoulder. "Congratulations Patrick" he didn't need to open his eyes to know that it was Robert. His own voice was a mixture of happiness and sadness.

"Congratulations gramps!" Brenda said excitedly, hugging a surprised Robert. Stunned by the petite brunette, it took him a moment for him to return the hug.

"Easy on the gramps stuff" he said kindly.

Lulu moved to sit beside Patrick. "That's great news" she said quietly. He nodded wordlessly, not trusting himself to speak. She put her hand on his leg and gave it a quick squeeze of support.

"Why don't we take Epiphany's suggestion and move to the 9th floor?" Nikolas suggested. Following Nikolas, everyone shuffled to the elevators and up to the 9th floor.

xxxxxx

The family room was a quiet room with couches and chairs as well as a television and magazines. There was a coffee machine and muffins laid out. Patrick stopped in the doorway. The only other time he had ever waited in a room like this was when his mother was having surgery. Not a religious man, he sent a silent wish to the universe that things would turn out quite differently than the last time. He watched as everyone settled in. Georgie and Maxie sat side by side, flipping through a magazine. Mac sat on the arm of a couch, looking equal parts lost and frightened. Robert punched the keys on his cell phone, sending a text message. Nikolas had gone in search of something, Patrick wasn't sure. And Lulu was curled up on the couch with her head in Brenda's lap. Brenda was absently playing with her hair. Patrick sat on the couch opposite from them.

"Have you thought of a name?" Brenda asked. "Because I don't think Brenda works for a boy" she joked.

Patrick smirked. "I don't think it does. Yeah – since Robin was so convinced it was a girl and I was sure it was a boy, we each picked a name."

"Well don't keep us in suspense – tell us." Mac said, suddenly feeling excited about the new life that had come into theirs.

Patrick exhaled. "Rian. It's an Irish name – in Gaelic it means…"

"Little king" Robert finished, smiling.

Patrick nodded. "That's who he is – he's our little king."

Brenda wiped at the tears that had begun to fall again. "That's great" she said. "Really beautiful."

"Rian Drake" Patrick said, not quite believing the sound it made on his lips.

"What's his middle name?" Lulu asked.

"He doesn't have one."

"How is he ever going to know you're mad at him if he doesn't have a middle name?" Patrick raised his eyebrows. "It's quite simple – I'm Lulu but I know I'm in trouble anytime my grandmother or my parents call me Lesley Lu."

Patrick smiled. "He doesn't need a middle name – he won't be in trouble."

Robert scoffed. "I don't know how you Drakes are but your child is half Scorpio – he was born in trouble."

Patrick laughed for the first time since it had all began. "I'm hoping my kinder, gentler, less violent genes have been passed on to him"

"Don't count on it" Mac said. "Scorpio genes are dominant."

Patrick rolled his eyes. "Which is why you two" he pointed to Robert and Mac "won't be allowed to have unsupervised visits with him. We want those genes to lay dormant for as long as possible" he teased.

Everyone laughed and then slowly the room fell back into an uneasy silence. Leaning forward, Patrick ran his hands through his hair. He stared at the clock in front of him. The hands seem to move with painstaking exactness. There was no jumping ahead or lagging behind, they moved exactly when they were supposed to and exactly as far as they were supposed to. Each movement was 60 seconds and he couldn't help but wonder if the movement of the hands was bringing him closer to everything he wanted, everything he needed or were they bringing him closer to blowing his life apart.

His thoughts went to Robin. Did she know that she had given birth? Even under anesthetic did her maternal instincts come to life and tell her that her baby was gone from her womb? What did she think of before she lost consciousness? Were her last thoughts of him, of their baby, of their family? Did she cry out for his help? He needed her to live, he needed Rian to live. His hands began to tremble as the scenarios of a life without either of them ran through his head. He hadn't even met his son yet and already he knew he couldn't live without him – how was that possible? He ran a hand over his chest trying to soothe the tightness in his chest. He stopped suddenly realizing the pain was in his heart – it was an actual heart ache. Cool, rational, science based Patrick Drake had a heart ache. At once he knew his life was never going to be the same.

Robert flipped open his phone and reading the screen, stood up suddenly and headed for the door. "Where are you going?" Mac asked in concern.

"I'm trying to make contact with Anna – Robin needs her mother. I'm following our protocol – I'll be back."

Lulu sat up suddenly bringing her hand to her mouth. "Lulu? What's wrong?" Brenda asked with concern. Lulu shook her head and ran from the room. Patrick closed his eyes and grimaced. Brenda looked at him. "What's all that about?"

"Alan has given her some medication – it's hard on the stomach." Brenda nodded. Getting up, she moved beside him and put her arm around him, rubbing his back.

"Robin is the strongest person I know" she said quietly. "She has so much to live for – she has everything she's ever wanted – a man who loves her, a baby – she won't give up without a fight."

"What if that's not enough?" he whispered.

"It has to be" Brenda said. "What else is there?" Patrick shrugged. "Do you want to go to the chapel with me? We could say a prayer."

Patrick shook his head. "God and I haven't been on speaking terms in quite some time. We've agreed to disagree on life and death and he has no comfort to offer me – there is none to be had." He stood and jamming his hands into his pockets, walked out of the room.

Epiphany spotted him as she came around the corner. His face was drawn and he had dark circles forming under his eyes. He was slightly hunched over and there was no sign of his trademark swagger. Walking up to him, she gently touched him on the arm. "Are you ready to meet your son?" Patrick chewed on his bottom lip and nodded slightly.

Taking him by the arm, she led him to the NICU. "Patrick – you need to be prepared – he's very small – not much longer than the palm of your hand. He's on a vent and there are a lot of tubes and wires but don't let that throw you off…"

"Epiphany, I'm a doctor" he said.

"Not in there you're not – in there you're the father of a preemie and it's a whole different world." Epiphany helped him put on a gown and gloves and walked him into the room. There were only a handful of incubators, all holding tiny babies who had come into the world far ahead of schedule. He searched the room, wondering if he would somehow know his child without being told. If he didn't, was he a bad father? Epiphany brought him to his son.

"It's okay to touch him –they thrive when they are touched. Just put your hands in the holes there and meet your son." She stood back and watched as the young doctor stood, shocked, in front of his son. Patrick took a deep breath and tried to steady his hands as he gently put them inside the incubator. He ran a shaky finger along his miniature hand and gasped as the baby grabbed hold of it.

He blew out his cheeks. "Hi there Rian…it's me – daddy."


	79. Chapter 79

Chapter 79

Chapter 79

Patrick stared in amazement at the tiny being whose face was practically obscured by the intubation. The minute Rian grabbed hold of his finger, he grabbed hold of his heart and there was no letting go.

"Are you scared, little man?" he asked quietly, oblivious to the fact that he was talking to a baby. "Yeah, me too. But you know, we'll figure it out. I'm sorry we took you from your nice, warm, happy place – we wouldn't have done so if we didn't have to. Your mom" Patrick choked on the words.

Taking another deep breath, he tried again. "Your mom is not having such a good time of things otherwise she would be here with you. But she's going to get better and then I'm taking you and her to Australia. She thought you were going to be a girl but I knew – I just knew – you were a boy. Dads are smart guys – but you'll learn that as you go along. Your mom loves you" he closed his eyes "and I love you too, Rian. I think you're probably tough like your momma, so you keep hanging on baby boy."

He softly ran his fingers over his little hand. His sight clouded up with tears and his breathing became ragged. This was his child.

His child.

And in him he saw a world of possibilities.

Removing his hands from the incubator, he turned around and was surprised to see Epiphany with tears in her eyes. "You old softie" he said, grinning at her.

"I am allergic to the cleaning solution they use in here" she said defensively, wiping at her eyes.

Patrick put his arm around her as they left the NICU. "Tell me how bad it is – she's been under for almost five hours."

"Your father is working miracles and Leblanc is almost done with the plates in her ankles and shins."

"There's something you're not telling me." He stopped and leaned up against the wall. "I understand you may want to protect me Epiphany, but not knowing is worse than knowing. Besides, I can read her chart."

There was no sense in keeping it from him any longer. "She went into cardiac arrest but we revived her."

Patrick closed his eyes and put his hand to his forehead. "How long?"

"Less than a minute." Epiphany leaned up against the wall beside him. "She's strong Patrick – she's responding well."

He nodded. "She is strong. I used to accuse her of being a coward" he said as an afterthought.

"We are all cowards at some point Patrick – what matters is that we fight when it counts."

"You're pretty smart, you know that?"

"About time you noticed. Why don't you go back to your friends, surgery should be wrapping up soon."

He leaned over and pecked her on the cheek. "Thanks Epiphany."  
Patrick walked back to the family room, rubbing his fingers that had held Rian's hand. The room was much emptier than it had been a while ago, only Mac, Robert and Brenda were left.

"How is he?" Brenda asked.

"How do you know where I was ?"

She smiled. "Because underneath all the worry there is a tiny glow about you – how is my godson?"

Robert and Mac both looked at him. "He's perfect" Patrick couldn't keep from smiling. "Okay, he's more than three months premature and my wallet weighs more than he does but really, he's perfect. Where is everyone else?"

"Nikolas took Lulu home – against her will. And Georgie and Maxie went to get something to eat." Brenda offered.

"Any news on Robin?" Mac asked.

"I spoke with Epiphany and she seemed to think surgery would be wrapping up soon."

"Is it normal for it to take this long?" Robert asked, still staring at his phone, willing it to ring.

Patrick shrugged. "Her injuries are severe, Robert. She's bleeding in her brain and my dad needs to get that under control in order to stabilize her. Her legs are a mess and no doubt there were other internal injuries. Once she's stable, they'll sew her up and get her to the ICU."

"It's funny in a way" Mac remarked. "I spent years trying to keep her away from Jason and Stone and you" he nodded to Robert "pretended to be dead to keep her safe but in the end her greatest risk was an oncoming car."

"No it wasn't. Her greatest risk was that maniac Harris" Patrick said coldly "and I won't rest until he's behind bars or dead. I prefer dead."

"Is this a bad time?" The sound of Sonny's voice surprised them all. Brenda's mouth fell open at the sight of her former lover.

"Sonny" her voice cracked.

His eyes widened in surprise. "Brenda – I didn't …I had no idea you were in town."

"I was keeping a low profile" she said.

The two were unable to tear their eyes from each other. Theirs had been an all-consuming, passionate, fiery love that had nearly cost both of them everything.

"I see. You look good."

"So do you."

Robert looked at Mac with a quizzical look, he replied by rolling his eyes. "What do you want Corinthos?" Mac asked.

"I was here for an appointment and someone said something about Robin being hurt?"

Patrick nodded. "She was hit by a car."

"The baby?"

"Born premature – he's in the NICU." Patrick appreciated Sonny stopping in but he didn't know how many times he could talk about this – once was proving to be too much. He stood up and walked to the door. "Thanks for coming by Sonny." Brushing past him, he headed to the stairs and up to the roof.

Once on the roof, he inhaled deeply. The roof had been the scene of many moments between Robin and Patrick. It was there that he had seen her truly vulnerable for the first time as she reeled from another round of shooting in Port Charles. Patrick could only listen as she told him of the horror of her grandmother being killed in front of her, her stepfather nearly being blown up and the daily fear she lived with that her parents wouldn't come home. By the time she was a teenager she had coped with more and seen more than he had by age 30. And this was all before she contracted HIV. Something about his feelings for her had fundamentally changed that night. There was so much more to her than the pushy, overbearing exterior she presented. He had wanted to make her feel safe that night. He wanted to make her feel safe now.

He didn't believe in karma or that the universe had some cosmic plan for everyone. But he hoped against everything that what people said was true – if you put yourself on the line, it is returned to you.

"I want my return – you hear that? I want what's mine!" he said to the sky. He took one last look at the skyline before heading back down.

He saw his father heading towards the family room. "Dad" he called out. His palms were instantly sweating; he felt a chill race through his body.

Noah turned around and saw his son. His beautiful boy - who at the moment looked a lot like Atlas with the weight of the world on his shoulders. "Patrick."

"How is she?" he asked, quickly closing the gap between them.

"It was tough – it took a long time to get the bleeding in her brain under control but we did finally. We had to remove her spleen. She has a plate in one ankle and in one shin and a few cracked ribs. Her blood pressure is low and we have her on a vent for the time being but she's stable."

Patrick began to shake as his father spoke. "Did you see…did you see my son?"

Noah pulled Patrick into a hug. "You mean my grandson?" he said against his ear. "I saw him and he's beautiful. There are a lot of hurdles ahead Patrick but for the moment, just concentrate on the fact that they're both alive."

"His name is Rian" Patrick said, gently pulling out of his father's embrace. "I held his hand – he gripped my finger – he held my finger" the wonder was evident in his voice.

"I'm going to go see him after I do the chart. I'll tell her family, why don't you go see her – she's in ICU" Noah turned back towards the family room.

"Dad?"

"Yeah sport?"

"Tha-thanks." Noah nodded.

It took all of Patrick's self control not to sprint to the ICU. He stopped out front of her room and closed his eyes briefly before walking through the door. Leaning over, he softly kissed her swollen lips before dragging a chair to her bedside and sitting down. Her face was bruised and swollen and the only sound in the room was the rhythmic hiss of the ventilator. He took her hand in his.

"We have a son" he said quietly. "I went with the name you agreed to – Rian Scorpio Drake. I'm not sure who he looks like yet but the way his face is scrunched up reminds me of you – you know that look you get when you're trying to tell me you don't like my idea but don't want to actually say the words?" He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. "Don't you dare think that a little car accident, brain surgery and reconstructed legs is going to get you out of going to Australia – I was right and you were wrong – a deal is a deal Scorpio – you have to get better so we can go."

He leaned back in the chair, not letting go of her hand. "You know there's one advantage to all this drama – I've never heard Brenda be so quiet – did you know that she actually had an off switch? I had known that, I may have considered throwing myself down the stairs or something weeks ago! And did she date Sonny? How did I not know this and what is it with you women and the bad boys…oh wait don't answer that" he paused "Actually I'd give anything if you would just wake up and tell me to shut up."

Standing up, he pressed the print button on the heart monitor and read the output. "You have a strong heart" he said, looking back at her. "But I always knew that" he said softly.

He sat back down beside her. "Robin – you have to keep fighting. If you made deals to survive the surgery, make more to wake up. I've had some time to think over the last little while and I used to think that I needed to be a doctor – that I needed to be the best – I needed to be better than my father but you know what? It's a crock of shit. Those are all things that I want. Need and want are so different. Your love – you loving me is all I need. If I have that then everything else is gravy."

Leaning over, he kissed her lips again, trying to ignore the tube in her mouth. "I have to go for a bit Robin but I'll be back soon. I'm going to go see Rian and tell him again how much we love him. Wait until you see him – he's going to look great on an Australian beach – maybe I'll get him on a surfboard with me –what do you think? If you don't like the idea then you have to wake up and tell me so otherwise I'll just be a bad influence." He brushed her lips again. "I love you Robin."

His knees trembled slightly as he walked out of her room. Needing a quiet place where he could just think, he went to his office and flopped onto his couch. He put his feet up on the coffee table and rubbed his hands over his face. The fatigue was deep in his bones and he thought he just might fall over. He couldn't believe it was still the same day.

"Rumour has it you could use a friend"

He looked up.

"Nat"


	80. Chapter 80

Chapter 80

"How…what…what brings you here?" Patrick asked in shock, springing from the couch and pulling her into an embrace.

"Robin's friend, Brenda? She called and said that Robin had been in an accident." Nathalie let him hold on to her. "Patrick, about how I ended things…"

She could feel him shake his head against her. "We can talk about that another time" his voice was hoarse. "I'm just so glad to see you." He squeezed her tighter.

"Why don't we sit down and you can tell me what's going on?" she suggested. She took him by the hand and led him back to the couch. They sat side by side, their feet up on the coffee table. Patrick refused to let go of her hand.

"I have a son – Rian" he said, surprised that his eyes suddenly filled with tears.

"Oh P" she said. "I am so very happy for you."

"Robin's in bad shape, Nat – her heart stopped on the table and my dad had to do a craniotomy. She's not awake yet and Rian is so small" his voice became more frantic. "I can't fix either of them – what's the point of being a doctor if I can't fix people when it matters?"

Nathalie turned to face him and soothingly rubbed his back. "Patrick – you're not supposed to fix them. That's not your job here."

"Then what is?" he looked up, tired and scared. "Because I'm in the dark Nat – what am I supposed to do?"

"Love them" she said simply. "There are a ton of people here who can operate on them, run tests, do whatever medically they need done but you are the only one – the only one" she emphasized "who can love them. That's what you do."

"He held my hand"

"Pretty great feeling isn't it?" she smiled at him.

"Can a heart explode from happiness? Because I think that's what happened when he did that."

"Do you remember how much you mocked me for crying when they put Gracie on my chest after she was born?" He nodded sheepishly. "It's the same thing P – it is the purest most unconditional love and there's no way to explain it – you just have to live it."

He leaned back and put his head on her shoulder. "Have I mentioned how glad I am you're here?"

"I've picked up the phone a million times to call you and apologize but could never bring myself to dial your number. When Brenda called, I just jumped on the plane and came – I wasn't sure if you would want to see me but I needed you to know that I would be here for you if you did."

"I wanted to call you too but I just didn't know what to say. When I saw you in the door, I thought I might be hallucinating. It means so much that you're here." She continued to rub his back and Patrick felt some of the tension leave his body. "I wish Drew was here" he said quietly.

"Me too" she replied.

"Where are the kids?"

"I dropped them with my folks. I almost forgot" she said, opening her purse "Gracie wanted me to give you this – it's for luck" She fished out a pink plastic pony with sparkles.

Patrick laughed. "Well – how can I refuse such a beautiful talisman?"

"Can I do anything for you? Get you some food? Sit with Robin while you sleep?"

He shook his head. "You're doing it right now. I should go back and see Robin and Rian" he paused. "I'm so torn Nat – who do I spend time with? When I'm with Rian, I feel like I should be with Robin and vice versa."

"You need shifts. You can't be all things to both of them Patrick or you will wear yourself out – how about letting Noah and Robin's dad, and Brenda pick up some of the slack. You're going to need to sleep at some point."

He nodded. He squeezed her hand again. "I need her to wake up Nat – I can't do this without her."

"She will wake up – you need to have faith."

"Faith?" he snorted. "Not my strong suit."

"Just believe Patrick – believe she will wake up and believe Rian will get stronger – start there and the rest will follow."

He nodded. Emotionally he understood everything Nathalie was saying but his head kept getting in the way of his heart. Medically he knew the challenges they were both facing and the statistical probability of their survival. It seemed so easy when Kelly asked him in the trauma room who to save but now, he had no idea what that answer would be.

"Do you want to meet my son?" he asked quietly.

"I thought you would never ask – let's go." She stood up and pulled him up from the couch. "It is never too early for me to start telling him embarrassing stories about his father" she teased. They walked from his office, arm in arm towards the NICU.

xxxxxx

"Do you want to take a walk?" Sonny asked Brenda. Noah had just been in to tell them all about Robin's condition and both Robert and Mac had gone to see her, leaving Brenda alone with Sonny.

"I'd like that." She untucked her legs and got up from the couch. They walked to the elevators both feeling familiar and strange all at the same time.

"You look happy" Sonny said as they got outside. "Are you happy?"

"I am. I love Italy and I love my job."

"Are you – are you dating?"

She gave him a crooked smile. "Here and there – still looking for the perfect man."

Sonny grinned. "I heard it's like finding a needle in a haystack."

"How are your boys?"

"They're good. Michael's almost 10 now. I have a daughter too."

"You have a daughter?" she asked in surprise.

"Kristina – Alexis is her mother."

"Wait – you were with Alexis? When?"

Sonny shook his head slightly. "For about five minutes in between being with Carly."

"Ah" she said knowingly. "I need to ask you something" she started cautiously.

"Anything Brenda."

"You know I don't like your life but I think it might be useful here. I mean I don't want you to get in trouble or anything or take a huge risk but you owe me, frankly and you owe Robin and I'm here to collect. If that sounds cold, I'm sorry but you're the only person who can do what needs to be done and Sonny – if you ever loved me, if I ever meant anything to you, you'll do this…."

Sonny put his hand on her arm. They both jumped as the electricity passed between them. "Brenda, you need to take a breath and then you need to tell me what you want."

"I want you to kill Bruce – put a hit on him. I can pay you."

"Are you serious?" he asked, shocked.

"Deadly serious." She groaned. "That was a stupid thing to say. I mean it Sonny - he has to die – Robin and Rian may not make it and he doesn't deserve to live."

"Brenda – I know how upset you are but…"

"You OWE me Sonny."

Sonny flinched. "Brenda – there are other ways to hurt him –let me try those first."

"He can't get away with this Sonny – this is Robin we're talking about - ROBIN!" tears began to spill over. "He can't live if she doesn't - do you hear me" her breathing became ragged. "She…she…she's my sister and I love her and she has to live" she sobbed. Sonny pulled her into his arms and tried to soothe her.

"I'll do what I can" he said, reassuringly trying to ignore the familiar ache that presented itself the minute he held her.

xxxxxx

"Rian – this is Nathalie – she's my friend and she's a big stinky liar so you are NOT to listen to her, do you understand me?" he said, as Nathalie put her hands into the incubator.

"Hi little one – you are so precious and so loved" she said quietly. "Your daddy is one of the bravest, smartest men there are – he's also a giant goofball."

"Rian – plug your ears right now" he teased. A sense of peace suddenly came over him as if it were the most natural thing in the world for him to be talking to his infant son with Nathalie. He looked at the incubator and smiled as he saw the id card taped to it.

_Rian Scorpio Drake_

Thor

He was confused by the addition of Thor and started to run through acronyms in his head but couldn't come up with any medical conditions that added up to the Thor. He looked over to the NICU nurse.

"Excuse me…er…"

"Sheila" she offered. "What can I do for you Dr. Drake?"

"It's Patrick" he smiled. "Why is Thor written under my son's name?"

Sheila smiled at him kindly. "We consider our preemies to be warriors and we like to nickname them after mythological gods so that they can be extra strong."

Patrick grinned. "So he's the god of thunder?"

"He likes to make himself known from time to time – he's a pretty strong little fella, Patrick."

"Thanks."

Patrick turned to Nathalie. "My son is a norse god" he said proudly.

"Oh lord" she groaned. "And another Drake ego begins to form"

"You make that sound like it's a bad thing" he joked.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm going to discuss legal action with Robin to limit your influence on his ego before another generation of women have to put up with it."

Patrick grinned. "Would you mind staying here? I want to go see Robin for a bit."

"Sure thing – it'll give me a chance to start my storytelling with Thor here."

Patrick leaned into the incubator. "Remember, Rian, she's a lawyer – she lies for a living."

"Witchdoctor" she shot back.

"Shark" he said as he pulled his gown off and headed to the ICU.

xxxxx

Arriving outside Robin's room, he saw Robert sitting at her bedside, holding her hand. He had been hugely intimidated the first time he met Robert. Robin had regaled him with stories about her father's life as a spy and some of the amazing things he had done. He seemed ageless then but looking at him now, his face showed every one of his 60 years. He wasn't a superspy here, he was the father of a daughter who was fighting for her life.

"Hi" Patrick said, as he entered the room. "Where's Mac?"

"Gone to the station – Harris is being arraigned." Robert never took his eyes from his daughter. "She looks peaceful don't you think?" Patrick nodded, flipping through her chart. "Can she hear us?"

Patrick closed the chart. "There is evidence to suggest that patients who are in a coma can hear and respond to voices around them. It's good to talk to her. I tried arguing with her earlier."

"Did she wake up to tell you were wrong?"

"Not yet – I think she's storing it up. Isn't that right, Robin?" he asked as he watched her chest rise and fall with the ventilator. "You just want a big bag of 'I'm right' stored up so you can throw it at me and make me suffer."

"I've called Anna" Robert's voice was quiet, betraying some of the pain he was feeling. "She's going to try and get here but she needs to be extracted first."

"That'll be good. Have you been to see Rian yet?" he asked.

Robert shook his head. "Not yet – I wanted to spend some time with Robin first – I …" Robert's words were interrupted the alarms on Robin's machines going off. "Drake?" he asked urgently "What's going on?"

"Christ –she's flatlining!" Patrick smashed the code blue button on the wall and pushed Robert out of the way to get to the defibrillator. "Out of my Robert!" Patrick ripped her gown open and rubbing the paddles together, shocked her heart.

"Come on Robin – don't do this!" he pleaded.


	81. Chapter 81

Chapter 81

Patrick shocked her heart a second time. "Beat dammit!" he yelled at the monitor. Robert moved out of his way and stood against the wall. He looked around Robin's bed, wondering if there was some referee counting her out. The code team burst through the doors.

"We have it Dr. Drake" said the attending physician.

Patrick ignored him. Robert flinched as his daughter's body arched up under the power of the third shock. "God damn you Robin, you fight - do you hear me? Rian and I need you." He pounded his fist on her chest in a desperate attempt to get her heart to start. The long persistent drone of the heart monitor haunted the room.

"You can't have her yet!" he said to no one in particular before shocking her a fourth time. He was rewarded with a faint beep of the monitor which grew steadily.

"Good rhythm, pulse/ox strong - nice work Dr. Drake - we can take over from here" the doctor said.

Patrick leaned down and placed a kiss on Robin's forehead. "Good girl" he whispered to her.

Dropping the paddles, he walked wordlessly from the room. He was halfway down the hall before his legs began to buckle, he didn't even feel the tears streaming down his face. Stopping suddenly, he bent over at the waist, grabbing his stomach and breathed in sharply. Reaching out, he grabbed hold of the railing on the wall to keep from falling down. He was so lost in his pain he barely registered being taken by the arm and led to his office.

"It's okay P, I've got you" Nathalie said as she walked him to his office, half carrying him, half holding him.

She kicked his office door closed behind them and guided him to the couch. He curled into a ball and began to gasp for air. Nathalie sat down beside him and placing his head in her lap, rubbed his back as he sobbed. All the unspoken fear and pain spilled out with every tear he shed. He grabbed hold of her hand and squeezed it, trying to draw strength from her.

"Let it out" she said soothingly, "it's okay Patrick, just let it out." Her pants were damp with his tears.She continued to rub his back as his body heaved with sobs.

As his breathing become more regular he tried to sit up but became dizzy as the blood rushed from his head. He dropped his head back into Nathalie's lap.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled.

She stroked his hair. "No apologies, okay?" she said quietly. "You're safe here Patrick."

He blew out his cheeks. "Her heart stopped again."

"Did you get it started?" she asked.

He nodded. "She's okay now" he said flatly.

"That's good P - you did good."

"Nathalie" he said, choking on another sob."I almost lost her."

"But you didn't - she's alive."

"I can't do this Nat - it's too much. I can't...I can't - Rian and Robin...I can't do it"

"Yes you can P - one step at a time."

"I'm not strong enough" he muttered.

"Yes you are" she said firmly. "You are more than strong enough to do this. Robin and your baby boy are depending on you and you can do this"

"I fell apart when my mom died and Andrew picked up the pieces and I fell apart when he died and Robin picked up the pieces. God help me Nat, I don't know how to do this on my own."

"You're not on your own Patrick. You've got me and Brenda and your father and Robin's father and her friends. You have an entire army behind you."

"Can you stay?" he asked in a small voice.

"I'm not going anywhere." Nathalie reached over to the far end of the couch and pulled it across him. "Close your eyes P" she whispered.

"I should go check on Robin" he said wearily.

"Later Patrick. You need to sleep."

"I can't sleep." His eyelids became heavy as he spoke the words and within minutes the adrenaline which had been sustaining him deserted him and sleep took hold.

xxxxx

Robert pushed back Robin's hair and kissed her forehead. "I wish I could take this all away from you" he said. "Remember when you fell off your bike and hurt your knee? I asked you what would make it better and you said Rock Road ice cream. What do you say Robin -if I go get some Rocky Road, will you get better?" He sank back into the chair at her bedside. The earlier chaos was but a distant memory and the room had returned to its normal quiet. The silence punctured only by the sounds of her monitor and ventilator.

He felt consumed by guilt. He had missed so much of her life and now he was afraid there would be no chance to make up for lost time. His absence had been a conscious choice and done for her safety but now all he was left with was loss. Loss of opportunity, loss of joy, loss of discovery. He never got to see her in her prom dress; he never met any boyfriends until now; he didn't get to stand and cheer as she graduated high school, Yale or the Sorbonne. Bragging rights, a father's specialty, were denied to him because he had little reponsibilty for her being the beautiful, courageous woman she had become.

"You are so much like your mother" he said quietly, slightly uncomfortable having a one way conversation. "But you're like me too. We're both stubborn and want our own way. You're a better, kinder person than I am. You would never walk away from your child as I did so you need to fight Luv. I haven't met your little man yet but I am sure he is the best of you. Your Patrick is a good man Robin - he loves you and he loves your baby. He won't leave you either so you have to stick around - you have people who need you and who love you." Robert wiped at his tear filled eyes. "Including me and your mother. Anna will be here as soon as she can. She got right angry with me for calling her granny" he laughed lightly. "You and her are the most beautiful women I know." He stood up and bent close to her ear. "You are a Devane and a Scorpio and you will come through this because you have too much to live for. I love you." He kissed her on the cheek and walked quietly from the room.

Patrick woke up, disoriented, in his office. For a brief moment he forgot about everything that had happened but as he sat up it all came rushing back in a flood. He sighed quietly and looking at Nathalie, smiled. True to her word she had not left him. She was asleep, sitting up on the couch. Quietly getting up from the couch, Patrick put the blanket around her. He kissed her forehead. "You're a star" he whispered. Walking to his door, he slowly opened it, trying not to wake her. As he approached Robin's room, the panic from earlier began to well in his chest again and seize him. He let out a small breath standing outside her door as he saw she was still stable. He sat in the recently vacated chair and took her by the hand. Looking at his watch, he was surprised to see it was the middle of the night.

"A few more hours Robin and you will have made it through the night. You know that's the most important test - the further we get from the trauma the better off you are." He gazed at her lovingly. "You're amazing, you can even make bruises and hospital tubing look good. You should have been the model, not Brenda.Nathalie's here - did I tell you that already?" He moved his thumb in cirlces on her hand. "She met Rian and though she won't say it out loud, I'm pretty sure she thinks he's much cuter than her own kids. You know, if I'm being insufferable, feel free to wake up and tell me so."

He leaned back into the chair and closed his eyes. "If it's okay with you, I'm going to stay here and watch the sun come up in a few hours. I know it's not sunrise in Surfers' Paradise but it'll have to do until you're well enough to go to Australia. I love you, you know." he paused. "Do you think if I say it enough times it will keep you safe? You once told me that I made you feel safe so let me do it again." He watched her chest rise and fall and looked for any tell tale fluttering of her eyelids but there was none to be had. "I know you'll wake up when you're ready baby - but can you make it soon?"

xxxxxxx

Lulu got off the elevator on the 10th floor. She had been surprised at Alan's phone call so early in the morning and had been so busy peppering him with questions about Robin's condition that it took him a full ten minutes before he was finally able to tell her that he wanted her to stop by his office. She told him she had a shift at noon at Kelly's but would come in before that.

Signing in, she smiled at the nurse who brought her to the exam room. For a brief moment, she thought it might be fun to work in a hospital but realized her grades would only make her eligible for a job as a custodian and not a doctor. She made a slient promised to herself to let Nikolas pay for a tutor. Though she didn't really want to be a doctor, she did want to get her grades up high enough to have more options. She smiled as Alan came through the door.

"Hi Alan"

"Good morning, Lulu. Thanks for coming in." He sat down on the stool beside the exam table.

"No worries. How's Robin?"

"The same as she was an hour ago when we spoke" he said kindly. "Lulu, I have your test results back" he opened the file.

"And? Any chance I can dump these pills?" she joked.

Alan's mouth formed a tight line. "Lulu, there is no easy way to say this - you've tested positive for HIV."


	82. Chapter 82

Chapter 82

Lulu stared at Alan, unable to take in what he said. "Positive?" she repeated, disbelievingly.

He nodded grimly. The conversation was completely reminiscent of another one he had with a young girl Lulu's age almost a decade ago.No matter how many times he delivered news like this, it just never got easier. That he knew all the steps the patient would experience did nothing to damper the pain it caused him. HIV was much more manageable than it was 25 years ago but each case, each patient was different and what worked for one wouldn't necessarily work for another. His two chief concerns at the moment were getting Lulu on the right protocol, right away and provide her all the support she needed. He let out a small breath.

"Robin's viral load was slightly elevated due to the pregnancy which put you at greater risk than exposure to her at any other time would have. I know this is a lot to take in..."

"Is there a chance the test could be wrong?" she asked, finding her voice.

"There is but I did have them run the test twice. We will retest you at three months and six months to make sure it's not a false positive.In the meantime we need to get you started on the anti-retrovirals as soon as possible." He put his hand on her knee. "Lulu, there are more advances made every day in the war on HIV and AIDS. On top of the protocol, I think it may be beneficial for you to talk to Lainey Winters to help you get some perspective - not right now but in time."

Lulu blinked several times. "I'm positive?" she repeated.

"I'm sorry Lulu." He handed her an envelope. "I have included in here, along with your prescription, some detailed information about the ARV protocol, side effects and a list of some groups that can help you adjust to living with HIV. I have also given you my home number. As the shock wears off, as you read more, you're going to have many, many questions and I want you to feel free to call me, day or night and we can talk about them."

Lulu chewed on her bottom lip. "Does anyone else know?" she looked at the floor.

"No. Lulu, I am legally bound to keep the information confidential but this is too big to deal with alone - you need to let your friends and family help you."

"With all due respect Alan, you've met my family - we're not that good in a crisis. Promise me you won't say anything to Lucky or Nikolas?"

"I won't" he repeated.

"Or Patrick or Robin - they cannot know" she insisted.

"Lulu - it is entirely up to you to tell people and when to tell them. The only exception" he took a breath "The only exception is if you are currently sexually active - you must inform your partner and take the necessary precautions."

She nodded. "I don't think it will be a problem - once I tell him he'll run for the hills. Are we done?"

"Do you have any questions?" Alan felt a little part of his heart breaking as he watched Lulu trying to steel herself against her new reality.

"No - not now - I just - I want to get out of here." She slid from the table and walked quickly to the door. Opening the door, she was about to walk through before she turned back to Alan. "Thank you Alan - I'm glad it was you." She disappeared before he had an opportunity to respond.

xxxxxx

Patrick eyes flew open as he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Dad" he said sleepily.

"Were you here all night son?"

He nodded. "I haven't checked her vitals yet this morning...I should..." he tried to get up from the chair, Noah gently pushed him back.

"Her vitals are strong and steady - she's had a good night. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine" he said dismissively.

"Why don't you take a shower, change your clothes and have something to eat. I can have a nurse stay with Robin while you do that."

"I don't want to go home - I can't leave the hospital - if something happens and I'm not here..." his voice trailed off as he left his thought unfinished.

"Well the, it's a good thing Nathalie brought a change of clothes and left a picnic basket of food in your office. You can shower in the locker room."

Patrick looked at his father in surprise. "You saw Nat?"

"I did - we had a nice chat. I'm glad she's here for you."

"Me too" he said quietly, his thoughts drawn back to the complete support she provided him as he sobbed in her lap.

"So go - shower and change and I'll come and visit you in your office."

Patrick nodded. He got up from his chair and leaning over the bed, kissed Robin tenderly on the lips. "I'll be back in a little while Robin - I love you."

Noah watched as his son shuffled from the room. Though there will still hints of his trademark cockiness, for the moment he was largely a battered man. As concerned as he was for Patrick, he knew that he would be alright. Already he had reacted better than Noah had when faced with similar circumstances. He had long suspected that Patrick was a better man than he was, thanks in large part to the influence of his mother, but now he had proof.

xxxxx

Noah found Patrick sitting in his office, having changed into fresh clothes and hair still wet, breaking into the basket of food Nathalie had left. He allowed himself a small smile as his son wolfed down a muffin. "What were you, raised in a barn?" Noah teased.

Patrick looked over to him and smiled sheepishly. "I didn't think I was hungry but then I had a muffin and now I can't stop."

Noah walked in and sat beside him on the couch. "You need to eat Patrick and you need to sleep - you can't allow yourself to get run down if you're going to take care of Robin and your boy." Patrick gave him a broad smile. "What?" Noah asked.

"It feels so strange to hear people talking about my child - my son."

Noah nodded. "After you were born and people would ask about my son it would take me a few minutes to process the fact that I did actually have a son."

"Women have it easier - they have the baby growing inside them for nine months, driving the point home."

"Oh Patrick - I would be careful about telling any woman who's had a child that they have it 'easier', you might wind up with a kick in the head."

Patrick laughed quietly. "I suppose you have a point. Speaking of my son - have you seen him yet." Noah shook his head. "Why not?"

Noah looked at the ground. Their relationship had grown by leaps and bounds over the last year but they both still lacked the vocabulary to talk to each other about how they felt. "I was kind of hoping you would go with me" he said softly.

"Really?" Patrick asked in surprise.

"Yeah - if you want to."

"Hell yes, let's go" he wiped his hands on his jeans and stood up. Noah sprang from the couch and followed him to the NICU.

xxxxx

Both in gowns and gloves, Patrick made a beeline for his son's incubator. Noah stopped short. The sight of the tiny little being moving his arms and legs and fighting to stay alive filled his heart and broke it all at once. Patrick put his hands through and took Rian's hand.

"Hey buddy - did you have a good night? I have someone for you to meet" he turned to Noah and motioned him closer. "This is my dad, this is your grandpa Noah. He's a pretty cool guy - when you get a little bigger we'll go to the racetrack with him and introduce you to corndogs - it'll be a guys' day out." Patrick moved out of the way and let Noah put his hands in. Rian grabbed hold of Noah's finger.

"Hi Rian, I'm so happy to finally meet you. You are such a special little boy." Noah felt his eyes fill with tears. He couldn't shake the thoughts of how close he had come to missing all of this. "You are a lucky baby" he said, his voice thick with emotion.

Patrick put his hand on Noah's shoulder. "Three generations of Drake men" he said "Pretty cool."

xxxxxx

Brenda sat by Robin's bedside, holding her hand. "It's pretty sunny outside" she said quickly. "Remember that weekend I came to visit you in Paris? It was September or October and it had been raining all week and all we could do was shop? And then out of nowhere came the sun and we spent the entire day on a terrace in the Left Bank. You got a sunburn - only you could get a sunburn in Paris in the middle of the fall." Brenda kissed Robin's hand. "The thing is Robs, I really need you to wake up. You know me, I don't cope well on my own - I need you - Patrick needs you and your baby boy needs you, so if you could swing it so that you wake up soon, that would be terrific."

Letting go of her hand, Brenda climbed carefully into bed beside Robin. Taking care not to jostle her in any way, Brenda draped her arm across her front, gently rubbing her chest over her heart. "You have a baby Rob, a baby" she whispered. "I haven't seen him yet but I hear he's beautiful - means he takes after you" she smiled. "I love you, you know that right? You have seen me through so many tough times and have been by my side during so many good times. If I could have chosen anyone to be my sister, to be my family, I would choose you every time. You are the most important person in my life and I'm not ready for you to not be in my life yet so take all the time you need, but just make sure you wake up." Brenda put her head on her shoulder.

Brenda lifted her head as Patrick came in. She made a move to get up but Patrick waved her down. He pulled the chair closer to the bed and took Brenda's hand giving it a squeeze.

"How are you?" he asked quietly.

"I'm okay - I just thought Robin and I should hang out like we used to do in Paris."

He smiled. "That's good."

"How is she Patrick?"

"Getting stronger every hour Brenda. It was a bit touch and go last night but we seem to have crossed that hurdle - haven't we Robin?" he asked, addressing her.

"She's just getting some more beauty sleep before she has to come home with little Rian - she's going to be quite a yummy mummy"

"Yummy mummy?" Patrick asked curiously.

"God - how can someone so good looking be so hopelessly out of touch?" Brenda teased "Robin how did you wind up with someone so painfully uncool?"

"First Lulu and now you? I'm cool - I'm plenty cool."

Brenda snorted. "Please, I have seen photos of you in a sweatervest - you're really not that cool."

"You understand that I think you're insane, right?"

"I've been called worse by better" she retorted.

"It doesn't get better than me baby" he said in trademark Patrick cockiness.

"You wish..." Brenda stopped as she felt Robin's head move slightly. "Patrick?" she asked worriedly, scrambling out of the bed.

Shooting up from the chair, Patrick pulled his penlight out and checked the reactions of her pupils. "Robin? Robin - wake up Robin - it's okay - you can wake up." Her head lolled to one side before coming back to centre.

He held his breath and waited.

Slowly, painfully, she opened her eyes.


	83. Chapter 83

Chapter 83

"Robin" Patrick tried to keep his voice calm and steady. "Follow my finger" he instructed moving his finger from one side to the other, then up and down. Robin followed it perfectly. "If you know who I am, blink once" Robin slowly closed her eyes again and then opened them. Patrick turned to Brenda. "Brenda"

She couldn't take her eyes off of Robin who couldn't take her eyes off of Patrick.

"Brenda" he repeated.

"Yeah?"

"I need you to go out to the Nurses Station and tell them Robin is awake. Ask them to page my father and ask them for ice chips - Robin's throat is going to be pretty dry and sore."

"Nurses Station, your father and ice chips?" She slowly moved to the door. "I'll be back Robin"

Patrick looked back at Robin. "I'm going to extubate you - are you up for that?" She slowly blinked once. "Okay" he said, nervousness creeping into his voice. "I need you to push out with your breath as I pull the tube" explaining the procedure as he had done a thousand times over the course of his career. He gently removed the tape from her face holding the tube in place. He put his hand behind her back and pulled on the tube. Robin pushed as hard as she could and began to cough and choke as the last of the tubing was pulled from her throat. She gasped for air as Patrick rubbed her back.

"Easy Robin, just breathe easy." He leaned her back against the pillows as Brenda and Noah came back into the room.

Noah looked from Patrick to Robin and back. He was less than pleased that Patrick had taken it upon himself to extubate her and was concerned he was confusing his role of being her boyfriend with being her doctor. Knowing what it cost him to tend to his wife, Noah inteneded to ensure that Patrick did not start acting like Robin's doctor. Reviving her had already extracted a terrible toll on him and he knew Patrick wouldn't be able to withstand much more.

"Hi Robin" Noah said, stepping in front of his son, a move that did not go unnoticed by Patrick. "Nice to see you awake." She looked at him wide-eyed.

"Can I give her some of these?" Brenda asked, holding up the ice chips.

Noah nodded. "Not more than two at a time, we want to wake her systems up slowly."

"Hey Robs" Brenda said excitedly. "Open your mouth a wee bit and I'll put these in" she pressed two ice chips against her lips. Robin attempted a small smile as she parted her lips. Robin sucked greedily on the ice, allowing the cool to soothe the fire in her raw throat.

"Do you know where you are?" Noah asked.

"Hospital" she croaked.

He nodded. "Do you know who I am?"

"Noah" She looked to Patrick "Patrick and Brenda"

"Good girl" he said, moving closer and checking her reactions with a penlight. "Who is the president?"

"Bush"

"What year is it?"

"2006"

"Are we done playing Jeopardy?" Brenda asked somewhat impatiently. "We have a lot to discuss."

Noah turned to look at Robin's concerned friend. "Brenda, I need to examine Robin - why don't you and Patrick go get a coffee."

"I'm not going anywhere" Patrick said firmly.

"Excuse us just for a minute Robin." Noah took Patrick and Brenda both by the arm and led them outside into the hallway. "Look, I know you are both excited that she's awake but I need to conduct a thorough neuro exam and it will go better if Robin and I are alone."

"I know what a neuro exam is Dad" Patrick said impatiently "I've done a few in my time..."

"You are not doing one here. She is not your patient - she is your girlfriend. You had no business extubating her."

"I'm a doctor..." he protested.

"You're a boyfriend who is operating on little sleep and huge stress - letting you do anything medical on her is an enormous risk and one I'm not willing to let you take. So go to the cafeteria or to Kelly's. Have some coffee, take a walk, go see Rian - but you will stay out of the room until I've done my exam"

"That is not your call to make" Patrick's voice flashed anger.

"It is - I am the physician of record and I am also the senior neurosurgeon on staff." He softened his voice. "Patrick, I am not trying to punish you, I'm trying to protect you. Robin has been through a lot of trauma and I need to make sure she isn't masking anything because you and Brenda are in the room."

Patrick let out a pained sigh. "Fine - you have 30 minutes and then I'm coming back." Noah nodded. "Let's go" he said to Brenda" as he took one last look at Robin in the room.

Noah went back into the room and smiled warmly at Robin. "Patrick and Brenda are off to get some coffee."

"How...how" Noah placed a few more ice chips to her lips. Swallowing them, Robin tried again. "How long have I been out?"

"What do you remember?" he asked.

She shook her head slightly. "I was supposed to have lunch with Lulu and Brenda"

"That's all?" She nodded. Noah sat on the side of her bed. "You were in an accident Robin - you were hit by a car." Panic filled her eyes and her breathing began to shorten. "Easy Robin. I'll tell you a few things now and the rest of the details will be filled in as you get stronger - okay?" Robin nodded. "You were hit by a car and needed surgery..."

"Baby?" she asked urgently.

Noah's face softened completely. "Kelly had to do an emergency c-section and delivered your baby..."

"It's too soon" she said, her eyes filling with tears.

"He's a little small Robin but he's hanging in."

Robin blinked several times. "He?"

Noah nodded. "You have a son."

"Rian?" she asked.

Noah grinned. "Rian" he confirmed. "He's beautiful and is a fighter like his momma. Patrick is already strutting around like a proud peacock." Robin smiled weakly. "He received the necessary meds right after birth and so the likelihood of transmission is almost zero."

"What about my injuries?"

"We removed your spleen, your legs were badly fractured and I had to do a craniotomy - you have a very pretty brain by the way" he teased.

Robin tried to laugh but was suddenly gripped by pain. "Ribs?"

"Fractured." Noah confirmed. "You're going to be fine Robin"

"When can I see my son?" she asked, her eyelids drooping as sleep threated.

"Not for a while yet Robin. It's too soon for either of you to move." Noah took her hand. "You're a trooper and I'm so glad you've come through. I want you to rest now and I'll be back in a little while to check on you - okay?"

She nodded. "Thanks Noah" she said hoarsely before sleep finally overtook her.

Noah made the notations in her chart and left her room. He was convinced there was no permanent brain damage and though she had a long rehab period ahead of her, she was going to recover nicely.

xxxxx

Patrick came back to her room after two coffees with Brenda and a walk around the hospital grounds. They hadn't said much to each other but there wasn't much to say. They were two people bonded by grief, concern and now hope. He was disappointed that Robin was asleep when he got there and silently cursed his father for not letting have more time with her while she was awake. In his head he knew his father had done the right thing - had done the exact same thing Patrick would have done with the family of any patient who had just woken from a coma but he hated to be treated like he was one of them, like he didn't know exactly what was happening. He was so grateful that she had woken up but now that she had, he wanted it all - awake, healthy, home with their baby. Patience had never been his strong suit.

He sat down at her beside in the all too familiar chair. "Hey" he said quietly. Robin's eyelids fluttered but she didn't wake. "I guess my dad told you about Rian - so now there's no getting out of it - we're going to Australia just as soon as you two are able." Patrick reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a photo. "I took this one earlier - I think he looks like you a little." He took the photo of Rian and taped it next to her head on the bed so she would see it when she woke up. Sitting back in the chair, he was surprised that he still felt tense. For a moment, all his worry had been replaced by relief as she woke up but the relief was short lived and now he felt even greater pressure. He sighed and took her hand.

"Stay with me Robin."

xxxxxx

He pulled the baseball hat down tighter around his face and pushed his sunglasses up. Robert chuckled to himself. That was no way to go incognito - people always thought a hat and glasses would hide them but in fact it just drew more attention to themselves. He followed him and when he saw where he was headed, dropped him and took a shortcut. He stood beside the doors and waited. Eventually his target approached the front doors of the hospital and with his hand on the handled, pulled open the door. Robert put his hand on his shoulder and pulled him back.

"Going somewhere Harris?"


	84. Chapter 84

Chapter 84

Bruce turned around and swallowed hard. "Mr. Scorpio" he said in a voice that he hoped sounded confident.

"What are you doing here? Are you in need of some kind of medical attention?"

"I, uh, I was coming to check on Robin if you must know."

"Really? If memory serves there is a restraining order against you coming within 200 feet of my daughter or contacting her. How were you planning on checking on her, from a helicopter?"

"Mr. Scorpio, there has been a terrible misunderstanding..."

"The misunderstanding was on your part Harris" Robert interrupted. "I'm fairly certain that I told you there would be consequences if you caused anything to happen to my daughter and yet somehow she's in the hospital fighting for her life as is her baby."

Bruce tried to back up against the door but Robert held his arm firmly. "I had nothing to do with Robin's accident - no matter how tragic it is, you can't blame me."

"Oh but I can and I do. I know that you were arguing with her, in violation of the restraining order and that it was her effort to get away from you that caused her to run into the road..."

"Mr. Scorpio..."

"Really Bruce, I think you should call me Robert - we're going to be spending some time together."

"I don't have time for this, I need to get back to Manhattan."

"Manhattan will have to wait" he said as Bruce felt the muzzle of a gun pressed into his ribs.

"Mr...Robert what are you doing ?"

"You and I need to have a conversation - you can either come with me quietly or I can knock you out and carry you - I'm kind of hoping you let me knock you out but I'll understand if you want do it the quiet way."

Realizing he was out of options, Bruce relented and walked with him. Not letting go of his arm, Robert led him to a car in the parking garage and forced him into the passenger seat. Sliding into the driver's side, he started the car and pulled out of the garage.

"Where are we going?" Bruce asked as they hit the on ramp of the highway.

"You ask a lot of questions but if you must know, we're going somewhere I'm confident we won't be disturbed."

"You're kidnapping me?"

"Kidnapping is such a strong word. I'm borrowing you."

Bruce began to rub his sweating hands together. His stomach flip flopped as he began to realize he was in very real danger. "Robert, whatever you're thinking of doing - don't put yourself in a situation that you can't get out of it. Robin, I'm sure needs you more than ever" he tried to rationalize.

Robert narrowed his eyes but kept his voice even. "Bruce, let me set a few groundrules for you - first of all, I have been a deepcover operative for more than 30 years - there isn't anything I can do that I can't get out of." Bruce felt a chill run down his spine. "And secondly, I don't think it's very wise of you to speak about Robin unless I tell you to do so."

"Robert - I have an entire team of people working for me and they are going to be looking for me if they don't hear from me in a few hours."

Robert shrugged as he steered the car onto a dirt road. "Not my problem - they can look for you but they won't find you until I'm ready for you to be found...if I'm ready for you to be found." He smiled as he watched Bruce tried the locks on the door. People's reactions under stress were always so predictible.

Frustrated at his inability to open the car doors, Bruce pulled his cell phone from his pocket and began to dial the number of his assistant. The call was dialed but not connected. He tried a second number with the same result. Becoming more frantic he started to dial every number in his phone book. Realizing that none of his calls would be connected, panic took hold. "I have money" he said quickly.

Robert laughed. "You think I want money? Please. There is no price that can be put on my daughter. She is worth more than any treasure in the world."

"Then what do you want?" he asked nervously.

"An apology" he said flatly. Robert had learned early in his training that when questioning a hostile prisoner, the easiest way to inflict terror was to keep your voice as free of emotion and inflection as possible. Making your intent difficult to read, the prisoner would be kept off balance.

"I apologize - I'm sorry that Robin is hurt."

"Oh shut it you pantywaste - we're not at the apology stage yet." Robert brought the car to a halt outside an old farmhouse. "If you're thinking of running when I unlock the car, keep in mind I'm a perfect shot. Though it means I wouldn't get my apology, I actually have no problem shooting you."

Bruce nodded mutely. Robert shook his head. There would be no challenge in breaking him. He had sincerely hoped that he would put up a fight but it was clear that he had overestimated him. Opening the door, Robert pulled him from the seat and led him by the arm into the farm house.

Bruce looked around in despair. The house had clearly be abandoned for quite some time. There was a thick layer of dust on the kitchen counter and the tables. Before he could get aclimatized, Robert shoved him down the stairs to the basement. Bruce stopped short at the bottom of the stairs. This room had recently seen plenty of work. There was a bed, a bathroom and several books. There were bars on the windows and slowly looking behind him, back up the stairs, Bruce shivered as he saw the door had been reinforced with a steel one.

"Get comfy Harris - I know this isn't the Waldorf but it is your new home for a while. Your lunch is on the table" he motioned to the small table near the bed. Robert started back up the stairs.

"Where...where are you going?" he stammered.

"Out. I'm not in the mood to talk to you yet." Bruce flinched as Robert pulled the door closed behind him and turned the lock. Walking over to the bed, he sank onto it, realizing he was at the complete mercy of Robert Scorpio.

xxxxxx

Patrick sat up quickly as he heard Robin sniffling, trying to stifle her sobs. "Robin? Are you in pain? Do you need meds?" he asked quickly, trying to get his eyes to focus. He hadn't realized he had been sleeping. She shook her head gently. "Baby, what's wrong?" he asked in concern.

"He's beautiful" Robin sobbed.

Patrick looked down at her hand and saw she was holding the picture of Rian. Her fingers traced the outline of his face. Patrick smiled. "I see you found the picture of Rian."

Robin looked at Patrick with her tear stained face. "I didn't mean to wake you" she said apologetically. "But when I saw the photo - Patrick - this is our baby - our little boy."

Patrick leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. "He is - you did good Robin."

She tried to brush the tears away. "We're parents" she said wondrously.

"We are and do you have any how much fear that has put into our friends and family?" he teased lightly.

"Tell me everything about him and don't leave out a single detail" she asked.

Patrick grinned. "Think you have room for me in there?" Robin moved over gingerly, leaving a small space for Patrick. He kicked off his shoes and gently got on the bed, being careful not to cause any unnecessary movement to her. He lay on his side and placing his arm across her, entwined his fingers with hers.

He kissed the side of her bandaged head. "He's perfect and small." he started. "But he comes by that honestly since his mom is hobbit sized"

Robin rolled her eyes. "You feel comfortable making jokes about my size when I'm laid up here in a hospital bed?"

"I do" he joked. "He has ten fingers and ten toes. He has a tight grip - I tell you Robin, when he took hold of my finger, I think my heart doubled in size." She squeezed his hand and smiled. "Our boy has quite a set of lungs on him - for one so tiny he sure makes himself known."

"That's from you" she said quietly.

"Are you saying I'm loud?"

"I've heard you sing in the shower - you have volume issues." Robin looked back at the photo. "What colour are his eyes?"

"He hasn't opened them yet. My guess is he's waiting to do that when his mom is around."

"Why do you say that?"

"He's a Drake man and we like to save our best tricks for women" he kissed her cheek.

"So when do I get to see your best tricks?" she asked, her voice tiring out.

"Baby, how do you think I got you to fall in love with me?"

"I'm a sucker?"

Patrick could feel the fatigue in her body. "Okay, less talking from you, more listening. The NICU nurses have named him Thor so that he is strong and has the power of a god. Our boy is the god of thunder - I'm hoping that's not in reference to him passing gas."

Robin giggled and grabbed hold of her ribs. "Owww. Don't make me laugh - I can't believe you made a fart joke about our beautiful baby."

Patrick shrugged. "It's the start of a lifetime of jokes - he's a boy. He has the cutest little nose - again, I think that's from you."

"Dimples?" she asked tiredly.

"Too early to tell but here's hoping. The dimple is a deadly weapon when it comes to getting chicks." She rolled her eyes again. "Do you like his hat? I asked if they had a Giants hat but apparently they don't come that small. You know, I didn't think I could love you more than I did but when I saw him for the first time, when I watched him breathing - I realized that you had given him the best start any child could ask for. He may be early but he is safe and loved and that's all that matters."

Robin's eyelids became heavy. "I love you Patrick"

He gently took her lips in with his, being careful of the swelling and bruising on her face. "Thank you for giving me our son."


	85. Chapter 85

Chapter 85

"You should go home, you know" Robin said sleepily.

"Are you trying to get rid of me Scorpio?" he asked.

"Not a chance" she replied, tightening her hold on his hand "but you've been here since my accident and I think you should go home and sleep in our bed."

"I don't want to leave you" he said quietly.

"Patrick, it's a miracle if I can stay awake longer than 20 minutes at a time and Rian and I need you to be on top of your game. Go home, sleep and then come back and see us."

"But if something happens..."

"Nothing is going to happen. I'm serious Patrick - the last thing we need is you in the bed next to me."

"You're awfully pushy for someone who just woke up from a coma" he teased.

"Proof that I don't have brain damage."

Patrick kissed her before getting up from the bed. "I love you"

She smiled weakly. "I know - I'm a lucky girl."

"I'll be back soon" he said as he headed to the door. She gave him a small wave before letting the fatigue over take her and drifiting off to sleep.

xxxxxxx

Nathalie walked into Kelly's and smiled as Brenda waved her over. "Hi Nathalie"

"Hi Brenda - thanks for the lunch invitation."

"Well I figure you and I, as best friends of the happy couple, should pool our resources."

Nathalie looked at her in surprise as she sat down. "Uh, I'm not...I'm not Patrick's best friend" she demurred.

Brenda took a drink of her coffee. "Don't be silly, of course you are."

"Patrick and I have a lot of things we need to work out - I was horrible to him the last time I was here. In fact, I was surprised you called me considering how mean I had been."

Brenda waved her hand dismissively. "Please. I knew you would be the only person to get through to Patrick and why let a few harsh words stand in the way?"

Nathalied laughed. "You're used to getting your own way, aren't you?"

"All the time, why?"

Lulu approached the table. She was still in a fog, trying to process the diagnosis that Alan had given her. She had read through all the information and done some research on the internet but was no closer to truly understanding what was ahead of her. Her ARV protocol was taking a lot of getting used to. She took frequent breaks at work to go out back and be sick. Mike had actually asked her what was wrong and she tried to convince him that she was fighting a flu bug - in September. Having spent a large part of her time avoiding almost everyone, including her brothers, she had moved out of the Quartermaine's. There were too many prying eyes and all she wanted was to be alone. Mike allowed her to take a room at Kelly's and she was still settling in. She had groaned when she saw Brenda walk in and left with no choice to serve her, put on her best fake smile.

"Hi guys - what can I get you?" she asked, hoping she sounded more enthusiastic than she felt.

"It's Lulu the hero!" Brenda exclaimed. "Nathalie - do you know that she saved Robin's life?"

Lulu rolled her eyes. "Stop it Brenda"

"Don't be modest - she risked her own life - she got Robin breathing again and then carried her into the ER - she really is a hero"

Lulu shifted from one foot to the other, her cheeks flush with a mixture of embarassment and anger. "It was nothing- do you guys want to order something?"

Nathalie studied Lulu carefully. There was something certainly not right with the young girl - she bore no resemblence to the relatively carefree person she had met at Robin and Patrick's house.

"You did a good thing Lulu" she said, smiling at her.

"Whatever - anyone else would have done the same thing - do you guys want food or just coffee?"

"I'll just have a coffee" Nathalie said.

"And I'll take refill Lu when you get a chance." She nodded and headed back to the kitchen.

Nathalie watched as she walked away. She certainly carried herself like someone weighed down by pain - something Nathalie was all too familiar with.

"Lulu seems...off - don't you think?" she asked.

Brenda shrugged. "She's 17 - moody teenager and all."

Nathalie nodded. "Fair enough. So what resources are we going to pool?"

Brenda leaned forward conspiratorally. "How long can you stay in town?"

She shrugged. "I'm not working these days so I don't have to get back for that but if I'm going to stay much more than a day or two, I'll need to go get my kids."

"Kids -right - that'll be good for Patrick."

"Brenda - what's going on?"

"Operation Keep Them Happy"

"Pardon?" she laughed.

"Don't worry, we don't have to dress like ninjas or anything - though I bet you look hot in all black." Nathalie arched her eyebrow. "These two have a ton of stress and worries and I want to make sure they don't get so wrapped up in it that they drown in it."

"That makes sense" she said, feeling slightly odd that she was agreeing with Brenda. "What do you have in mind?"

"Well I heard from Grandpa Hottie..."

"Who?"

"Noah- don't you think he's a hot granddaddy? Anyway, I heard from him today that Robin will likely be moved out of the ICU and into a regular room, so we need some girly bonding things, like doing nails, taking Cosmo quizzes and watching girly movies like Say Anything - god, dont' you just love that scene when John Cusack stands outside the window with the radio over his head - that is when I fell in love with John Cusack."

Nathalie looked at her in amazement. "Do you actually breathe when you talk or do you have a separate air intake?"

Brenda gave her a quizzical look. "I get that a lot. Anyways, we also need to stuff for Patrick, like cook for him and stuff - except I can't cook - can you?"

"I can cook" she laughed.

"Great! So what do you say - are you game?"

Nathalie smiled at the sheer force of Brenda's personality. It was clear to her that 'no' was just not an acceptable answer. "Absolutely - tell me what I need to do and we'll do it."

"I knew I could count on you"

The two women continued to chat and make plans as to how they were going to keep up the spirits of their friends. Nathalie realized she was beginning to relax for the first time since Andrew's death. Even in the midst of all the chaos of Robin's accident and the early birth of Rian she actually felt somewhat normal and that was something she had been searching for.

Having let Brenda program her phone number in her cell phone, she opted for a walk along the decks before heading back to the hotel. She didn't get very far when she saw the familiar sight of Lulu sitting on a bench staring at the water. She contemplated walking by but there was something about Lulu's posture that she recognized and felt compelled to see her. She sat down beside her.

"Hi Lulu."

Lulu felt like there was a seven second satellite delay when people spoke to her. It took her a long time to get out of her own head and recognize that people were talking to her. She turned her head slowly. "Hi Nathalie."

"I know that you and I don't know each other but...are you okay?"

Lulu shook her head. "Not so much."

"Can I help? Are you having some kind of shocked reaction to Robin's accident?"

"You could say that." Lulu turned her attention back to the water.

Nathalie exhaled, it was obvious to her that Lulu was in all kinds of pain. "You don't have to talk to me but have you thought of talking to someone?"

"There's nothing to say." Lulu looked back at her. "You're a laywer, right?"

"Yup"

"How much do you charge an hour?"

"Pardon?"

"How much do you charge an hour?"

"350 - why?"

Lulu reached into to her pocket and pulled out a 20 bill and handed it to her. "This should buy me about 10 minutes of your time, right?"

"Lulu, do you need legal advice?"

"No, but if you're my lawyer you can't say anything."

Reluctantly, Nathalie took the 20 bill from her and put it in her pocket. "What's going on?"

"I don't regret doing it. I'd do it again if I had to but I think it's a bit of a bad joke. But I did what had to be done and that's what you're supposed to do, right? Don't think, don't worry about the consequences, just do what needs to be done."

"Lulu - I'm not following you."

"I had some open wounds and I had to give mouth to mouth - there was some blood..."

"Lulu" Nathalie began cautiously.

"I'm HIV+"

xxxxxx

Robin opened her eyes and saw Patrick reading a medical journal in the chair at her bedside. "You didn't actually go home, did you?"

He gave her a half smile. "I had a nap in my office."

"Patrick..." she began.

"You don't get to give orders, sickie. I'm not leaving until you are at least moved out of ICU."

Robin sighed. Patrick had always claimed that he didn't do commitment, that he liked to be free of encumbrance but the truth was Patrick did commitment quite well. He was an all or nothing type of person and though he had always avoided commitment where he could, once he made a decision there would be no swaying him from it. And that is how Robin knew that he really wouldn't leave the hospital until she was out of danger.

"Noah says I could be moved today."

"Good. Do you need anything? Are you in pain?" Robin's cheeks flushed slightly and she suddenly felt very shy - a look that did not go unnoticed by Patrick. "Robin?"

"It's stupid"

"I doubt it"

"Do you promise not to laugh?"

"I promise" he said crossing his fingers. "What can I do for you?"

"Could you get into bed with me?"

Patrick smirked. "Of course, but why are you blushing?" He got up and gently and slid in beside her.

"Um...would you sing to me?"

"Sing?" he asked slightly incredulously.

"You sing in the shower all the time and I like your voice" she said quietly.

"You do?" It was his turn to blush.

"I do."

"What do you want me to sing?"

"I like how you sing Neil Young songs- could you sing After the Goldrush?"

"Seriously? Robin I don't know..."

"I gave you a child" she teased.

"Is that going to be your trump card for the rest of your life?"

"Pretty much - now sing pretty boy."

He put his arms around her and Robin rested her head in the crook of his shoulder. "You realize this a sign of how much I love you, right?"

"Less talking, more singing"

"Fine" he sighed and in a voice barely above a whisper he started:

_Well, I dreamed I saw the knights In armor coming, Saying something about a queen. There were peasants singing and Drummers drumming And the archer split the tree. There was a fanfare blowing To the sun That was floating on the breeze. Look at mother nature on the run In the nineteen seventies. Look at mother nature on the run In the nineteen seventies._

"I heard you" she said, interrupting him.

"What?"

"When you asked me to fight - I heard you and when it seemed like it would be better just to let go, I heard your voice in my head. You reminded me of how much I have and now we have a family."

"I meant what I said Robin - I want a lot of things - but your love is the only thing I need."


	86. Chapter 86

Chapter 86

"Are you sure?" Nathalie asked Lulu.

"Yup. Alan said he ran the test twice. There's still a small chance that I may test negative in the next six months but he's not confident."

"I am so very sorry Lulu. How did your family react?"

Lulu stared ahead, watching the sunlight dance across the water. "Actually, you're the first person I've told."

Nathalie tried to hide her surprise. "No one in your life knows? You'll need to tell them eventually."

"Why?" she asked flatly "So they can feel sorry for me? So they can feel sorry for themselves. No one needs to know. I have it under control."

Nathalie took a deep breath. "Do you think you might tell Robin? She could help you."

"NO!" she said sharply. "Under no circumstances can Robin and Patrick know."

Nathalie said nothing for several minutes. "It's up to you who to tell and I certainly wouldn't presume to tell you what to do but I will tell you this - secrets like this get heavier, more burdensome as time goes on. It's a short road to despair when you feel like you can't talk to anyone" For a brief moment, Nathalie wished for the millionth time that her husband had told someone, anyone about his condition. Maybe he would have felt less helpless, maybe it would have dimished his pain.

Lulu turned her entire body to face her. "You're talking about your husband"

Nathalie nodded. "Andrew was diagnosed with ALS over a year before he died and he kept it from everyone. He didn't tell me and he didn't tell Patrick and one day it got to be too much for him, he just couldn't cope any longer and he drove his car into lamppost causing a huge accident on the freeway. Maybe it wouldn't have seemed so hopeless if he had talked to someone."

"I'm not going to kill myself" she said quickly.

Nathalie gave her a small smile. "I didn't think so but suicide isn't the only way to dull the pain. People drink, do drugs, become promiscuous - anything to make the hurting stop. I know this seems suffocatingly huge at the moment but if you tell people, every one of them will take a little piece of your burden and then you're not carrying it on your own."

Lulu pulled on her bottom lip. There were times where Lulu seemed on the verge of womanhood - she was mature beyond her years in so many ways. But there, on that bench, with her legs tucked underneath her and her blonde hair hanging around her face, she looked like a little girl. "I don't want people to crowd me and tell me what to do"

Nathalie nodded. "That's fair though - this is your life and you get to set the ground rules for how people deal with you. Patrick mentioned you have brothers, what about telling them?"

"No - not yet." Lulu was afraid of her brothers' reactions. They would either overcompensate and try and do everything for her or they would be so stunned into inaction that nothing would happen. She didn't know which would be worse.

"You'll know when it's right to tell them. Can I do anything for you? I mean, I know I'm not a friend but can I help?"

Lulu's eyes suddenly filled with tears. She shook her head. "No...it's okay - thanks though."

Nathalie put her hand on Lulu's leg."Okay the. But I'll just hold onto your 20 in case you need some more of my 'legal help'. Can I walk you somewhere?"

"I'm going to sit here for a while I think."

Nathalie nodded. "Take care of yourself Lulu."

xxxxx

Bruce paced around the basement. He had tried pounding on the door and tried prying apart the bars on the window but nothing would give. He was stuck and at the mercy of Robert Scorpio and he was afraid. He was unable to get a signal for his cell phone and not even his blackberry would work. Sinking down on the bed, he put his head in his hands. How had it all gone so terribly wrong? He was supposed to be on top of the world. Annointed as the logical successor to the vacant Senate seat, he had become distracted and had started to make strategic errors and was now running the risk of losing a sure bet. He had put everything he had into his election campaign - it was who he was. If he didn't win, he would have nothing.

He jumped as he heard the lock turn in the door. Desperate to get out, he ran towards the stairs, thinking he could overpower Robert. Sprinting up the stairs, he pushed his full body weight forward and knocked Robert back on the ground. Momentarily stunned, Robert stayed on the ground as Bruce ran to the door and fumbling with the handle finally succeeded in pulling it open. Seeing the car parked, he ran as fast as he could until he felt a sharp, stinging sensation between his shoulder blades. He stopped and tried to turn around before he fell to the ground, unconscious.

Robert sighed as he walked towards Bruce's body. "I told you not to run" he muttered. Reaching Bruce, he put the tranquilizer gun back in his pocket and bent down to pick him up. After several tries, he managed to get him over his shoulder. "Heavy bugger" he said under his breath as he carried him back to the farm house and locked him up in the basement.

xxxxxx

"You're looking better every day Robin" Noah said as he reviewed her chart.

"Am I progressing quickly enough?" she asked, sitting up in bed. Patrick had just extracted himself from bed and was stretching, trying to work out some of the kinks in his back from being in such a cramped space.

"God what is with you two" he motioned to Patrick "and you're need to be overacheivers?"

"This coming from you?" Patrick scoffed.

Noah smiled. "You're progressing just fine. We don't want to rush things. As fun as it was to tinker with your brain, I'd like to avoid doing that a second time." He closed her chart. "But I do have two pieces of good news."

"Tell me!" she said excitedly.

"Well, we're going to move you to a much more comfortable room out of the ICU."

"When?" Patrick asked.

"Today."

Patrick reached for Robin's hand and gave it a quick squeeze. Every hour, every day that they got further from the accident without setbacks brought her closer to recovery. "What's the second piece of news?" he asked.

Noah looked at Robin and tried to keep his face straight. "How would you like to go for a ride?"

"To where?" she asked, not daring to get her hopes up.

"To the NICU..." Robin squealed before Noah could finish his sentence. "Easy Robin" he cautioned. "It will only be for five minutes but I figured we could stop off there on our way to your new room."

Robin clapped her hands together and her eyes filled with tears. "Now? Can we go now?"

Noah opened the door to her room and pulled a wheel chair in. "Yes, you can go now."

Patrick looked at her, flashing his dimple. "What do you say? Wanna go meet our son?"

Robin made a move to get up but was struck by pains in her head and legs. "Owww - crap" she exclaimed.

"Robin - wait" Noah rushed to her. "Let Patrick and I get you into the chair."

Patrick leaned over her and put her arms around his neck, pulling her to him. "You're not superwoman you know" he whispered to her as he lifted her from the bed while supporting her legs.

"That's not what you say in bed" she whispered. She laughed as Patrick's eyes bugged out. He placed her gently in the chair and both Noah and Patrick noticed that she was short of breath and sweating from the little exertion it had taken to get out of bed.

"Do you need a minute?" Noah asked. "We don't have to do this right now."

"Yes we do - I want to see my son" she panted.

Noah and Patrick exchanged a knowing look and Patrick gave him a slight nod. Noah reached for the portable oxygen machine and hooked it on the back of her chair. He put the tubing around her, putting the prongs in her nose."This will make it a little easier" he said.

She smiled and reached back for Patrick's hand. "Let's go see Rian."

Patrick pushed her chair to the NICU and then carefully put a gown on her and gloved her hands.

"Ready?" he asked against her ear, dropping a quick kiss on her neck. Already feeling too emotional to speak, Robin simply nodded. Patrick brought her to the incubator and positioned Robin right in front of the arm holes.

The tears fell immediately. "Oh.my" was all she could say as her heart began to swell. Patrick kept his hand on her shoulder, gently rubbing it. Robin put her hands in and gently stroked his tiny body with her fingers.

"Hi Rian, it's me, mom" she said quietly. "I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner but I promise I won't leave you again." Rian's little body twitched and his arms stretched. Robin put her finger against his small hand. He promptly closed it around her.

"Oh" she gasped. She looked up at Patrick who also had tears streaming down his face. He bent down and kissed her cheek. "You do have a strong grip" she said "just like your daddy." Robin couldn't remember every feeling as full of love as she did at that moment. "My life is complete" she said to Patrick. "I have you and I have our son." Patrick squeezed her shoulder.

"I love you Rian Scorpio Drake - you are the most perfect boy and I can't wait to hold you in my arms." Rian squeezed her finger again. She looked up at Patrick in surprise. "I think he heard me" she said.

"Of course he knows his mom" he said kindly.

Patrick kept his hand on Robin and she kept hold of Rian, it felt as though they were finally connected. They were together. Patrick looked up as he heard an alarm go off at the monitoring station, thinking how many times those alarms must go off in the course of day in a place like this. It wasn't until he felt the rush of people coming towards him that he realized that it was Rian's alarm going off.

"I'm sorry - you'll have to get out of the way" a nurse said, as she pushed Patrick out of the way. Another nurse pulled Robin's chair out of the way to access the incubator and in the process wrenched Robin's hand from her son's.

"Rian!" Robin cried.


	87. Chapter 87

Chapter 87

Robin tried to get out of the wheelchair and get to her son but the pain of her surgically repaired legs forced her back down. Patrick gripped her hand as they watched the NICU staff fling open the incubator and with two fingers press on his tiny chest. Patrick felt his blood run cold as he watched his tiny, fragile son be dwarfed by the medical staff.

"What's wrong?" Robin called out "Someone tell me what's wrong with my baby!" Her face had become flush from the exertion and she was sweating profusely. Her body was coiled tightly and she had begun to tremble. Patrick was torn between taking care of Robin and taking care of Rian. He bent down so that he was at eye level with her and tried to talk to her in as soothing a voice as he could manage.

"Robin, you have to calm down, they're working on him"

She turned to him, her eyes wide with terror. "Patrick, they're doing CPR - he's too little" She put her head in her hands and began to cry.

"Don't cry Robin - he's going to be fine" he rubbed her back, swallowing down his own fear in an effort to be strong for her.

"You don't know that, Patrick" she said, not lifting her head.

"We have to believe Robin - he's a fighter - he's already surviving against the odds." Patrick looked up as he heard the incubator being snapped closed. He sighed with relief as he heard the steady beeping of the heart monitor.

"Robin," he squeezed her shoulder. "He's okay, they've got a rhythm." Robin kept her head in her hands. "Baby, it's okay" he tipped her head up and wiped at her tears. He stood up as the doctor approached.

"Robin, Patrick, I'm Dr. Trudel - why don't we go into the room and have a chat about Rian."

"No - I don't want to leave him" Robin said. "Patrick, take me to the incubator" she said, her voice rising in intensity. Patrick raised his eyebrows to Dr. Trudel who nodded in agreement. Patrick pushed her chair to the incubator and watched as Robin hurriedly put her hands through and began to lovingly stroke her baby. "Hi baby boy - were you scared? It's okay, mommy is here now" she cooed.

"So what happened?" Patrick asked, relieved that Robin was at least calmer now that she was touching Rian.

"Rian has ductus ateriosus, it's a very common condition in preemies. The short blood vessel that connects to the main blood vessel supplying the lungs to the aorta normally closes off after birth, however in preemies; it can often stay open which causes excess blood flow into the lungs..."

"Leading to heart failure" Patrick finished.

Dr. Trudel nodded. "Exactly. We will first try to treat it with indomethacin, that's what we've put in his i.v. now."

"If the meds don't work?" he asked.

"Then we'll need to do surgery to manually close off the vessel."

"He's too small for surgery" Robin said, looking up at the doctor.

He gave her a sympathetic smile as he recognized the look on her face well. All the medical training in the world was of little use when it was the life of your own child at stake. "Robin, it's a relatively routine surgery, we do it quite often."

"Don't give me that" she said angrily. "You and I both know there is no such thing as routine surgery in someone so small - the risks are huge."

He nodded. "Yes they are but we know what we're doing. We will give the meds a chance to work before we consider surgery; I just want to let you know what we're facing."

Robin wordlessly turned back to her son. "It's okay Rian - you just rest up and let those meds work for you. You don't want surgery when medicine can fix you."

"Standing right here, you know" Patrick said lightly.

Robin gave him a small smile. "I am going to make sure his first words are 'cutting is not the only solution'."

Patrick stroked her head. "Robin, I think we should get you up to your room."

She shook her head. "I don't want to leave him" she never took her eyes from Rian.

"I know, sweetie but you are not anywhere close to being 100 and I think we need to get you to bed."

"Typical" she teased. "Always trying to get me into bed."

"It's only one of the many places I like you" he said, flashing his dimple. "But seriously Robin, you need to rest – Rian is in good hands."

"But he's not in my hands" she said plaintively.

"I know baby, but he can't be in your hands full time yet – so let's get you rested and healing so you'll be ready for him when he can be."

Robin stroked Rian a few more times before finally agreeing to leave with Patrick. "Bye Rian – Mommy loves you."

Patrick wheeled her to her new room and lifting her from her chair, placed her in bed. She was breathing heavily and the effort of being in the NICU had clearly taken a toll on her. He adjusted her oxygen to help relieve her breathing and tucked her into bed. Her eyes were getting heavy as she finally relaxed.

"You really should go home this time Patrick" she said sleepily.

"I will" he said as he adjusted her blankets.

"That's what you said last time and you lied."

"I know"

"Are you lying now?"

"Probably." He leaned into her and gently kissed her lips. "Close your eyes and dream about our beautiful boy. I'll see you when you wake up."

"I love you" she murmured as she drifted to sleep.

He stood and watched her. All the tension and the anguish from earlier had left her face and she once again looked peaceful. "I love you too."

xxxxxx

Nathalie got off the elevator at the hospital and went in search of Patrick. He hadn't been home in three days and she was making it her mission to get him home to sleep in his own bed. The last time she saw him, he already looked like he was dead on his feet and that was before Robin had woken up. She was also struggling with the secret Lulu had shared with her. In her heart of hearts she knew that Patrick needed to know. Not just yet, but he needed to know. As she wrestled with the choice of whether to tell him or not she finally had a glimpse of how hard it must have been for him to be the only one who knew about Andrew's suicide, knowing that if he told it would change everything.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she was surprised to find herself suddenly sitting on the floor.

"Oh my – I am so sorry"

Nathalie looked up and saw a handsome young man offering her his hand. She smiled sheepishly and took it as he pulled her from the floor. "It's me who should apologize" she said, blushing slightly. "I was lost in my own little world."

"Is it a nice world?"

She laughed lightly. "Some days, other days I'm looking for the escape hatch."

The young man smiled warmly at her. "I know what you mean – shouldn't there be some kind of emergency exit?"

"You would think so – or a manual?" She shyly tucked her hair behind her ears.

"A manual would be good – I have one but it's in ancient Greek"

"And you don't read Greek?" she teased.

"I do – just not ancient Greek."

"Ah, a renaissance man" she smiled broadly. "I heard they existed only in mythology."

It was his turn to blush. "There are a few of us left. Pardon my rudeness – I'm Nikolas Cassadine" he said offering his hand.

"Nathalie Walker" she said, shaking it.

"Are you from Port Charles Nathalie?"

"No – I'm from DC – I'm just here visiting a friend."

"Really? How long are you in town for?" Nikolas shocked himself with the forwardness of his questions.

Nathalie absently tucked her hair again. "I'm not sure yet – I'm here as moral support so it could be a while."

"Well that's lucky for Port Charles." He grinned at her.

"Hey Nat" Patrick said, coming down the hallway. Leaning in, he kissed her on the cheek. "Hi Nikolas"

"Patrick" Nikolas said, curiously watching the interaction between the two.

"You look like hell P" she said, suddenly conscious that she had been flirting with Nikolas.

"Stop trying to sweet talk me Nathalie" he teased.

"How's Robin?" Nikolas asked.

Patrick shook his head slightly. "It's going to be a process but she saw Rian today and that was a good thing – in the end." Nathalie and Nikolas raised their eyebrows. "Long story" he said.

"Well I'm here to take you home and cook some food for you."

He shook his head. "I don't want to leave."  
"Patrick you are exhausted, you need some real rest that doesn't include crashing on the couch in your office" Nathalie said firmly.

"Nathalie's right" Nikolas offered. "I can go and sit with Robin if you like while you rest up. It's going to be a long recovery and you need all your strength."

Nathalie smiled gratefully at Nikolas.

"Are you two ganging up on me?" he asked, resignedly.

"Pretty much" they said together, both laughing.

Patrick put his hands up. "Fine –I just need to swing by my office and get some stuff."

"I'll come with you – it was nice to meet you Nikolas."

"And you as well – I hope to see you again" he said, shaking her hand.

Nikolas watched as she walked with Patrick to his office. He couldn't wipe the grin from his face as he headed to Robin's room.

xxxxxx

"Can I help you?" Noah asked. He had been reviewing charts at the Nurses Station but was distracted by the sight of the beautiful brunette, dressed head to toe in black, who was gracefully circling around. There was something strangely familiar about her but he couldn't place it.

She looked up with a start. "Uh, I'm looking for my daughter's room."

"Well what's her name? I can look her up for you"

"That would be very kind of you, Dr – er?"

"Drake – I'm Dr. Drake" Noah said, smiling his winning smile at her.

"Drake?" she said in surprise.

"Yes – why? Have we met?"

"No" she said cautiously. She put her finger to her chin and tilted her head. "You're much older than I thought you would be"

"Pardon?" he said, suddenly confused.

"I mean, you could be MY boyfriend. Have you always liked younger women?"

"I'm sorry – Ms?"

"Devane. But back to my question – what are you doing with a woman so young?"

"You must have me confused with someone else – I'm not dating anyone."

Anna scoffed and crossed her arms in front of her. "I was told you were a commitment phobe but even for you that's ridiculous! Your girlfriend – you're MUCH younger girlfriend; I might add is fighting her life and the life of her baby and you claim not to have a commitment – to be single? What does my daughter see in you anyway? I mean beyond the charm and the dimple."

Realization suddenly dawned for Noah. "I'm sorry – what did you say your daughter's name was?"

"I didn't – are you saying you don't know Robin Scorpio?"

He smiled broadly. "You must be her mother."

"Anna Devane" she said coolly. "Are you claiming not to know Robin, you rake? I bet you're a misogynist too!"

Noah began to laugh out loud. "I have been called many things in my day but never a misogynist. I do know Robin, quite well in fact, she's dating my son Patrick."

Anna shook her head. "Patrick – your son? Ooooooh. You're the father."

He nodded and held out his hand. "Noah Drake – reformed rake."

"Anna Devane." She studied his face, taking in his sparkling eyes. "So you say you don't have a girlfriend."


	88. Chapter 88

Chapter 88

"Well I can see where Robin gets her beauty from." Noah smiled at her.

Anna let her hand linger in his for just a moment longer than was necessary. "Is your son as handsome as you are?"

"Nothing is as good as the original but he does alright" Noah grinned.

"And from what Robin has told me, I can certainly see where he gets his arrogance from."

"Occupational hazard" Noah said, somewhat sheepishly. "May I take you to see Robin?"

"Are you her doctor?" Anna asked, becoming serious.

"I am."

"Could we talk for a few minutes before I see her - I'd like to be fully prepared."

"Sure" Noah said, showing her to the couches. He sat down beside her and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. "What would you like to know?"

"How serious are her injuries - and don't pull any punches because I'm her mother" she warned.

"I wouldn't dream of it. Robin had some very serious injuries. She was struck by a car and propelled a great distance in the air. Both of her legs were fractured and are held together with pins and plates. The damage to her spleen was so severe we had to remove it and she had a severe head injury. I had to perform a craniotomy to stem the bleeding and reduce the swelling."

"Oh my - is she...is her mind okay?" Anna asked as images of her bright, beautiful daughter flashed before her.

Noah nodded. "To date it doesn't appear that there is any brain damage but it's still early in the recovery."

"Are you saying she could still suffer damage?"

He chewed on the inside of his cheek. There was something about Anna's combination of fierceness and vulnerability that was both intoxicating and distracting. "Brain injuries are not an exact science. Whenever the brain is jostled around or traumatized it can take a long time for it to recover. Frequent headaches, trouble with vision, memory loss and depression are all possible."

"Are you saying Robin faces all that?"

"Nothing is for certain but I would be surprised if she comes through this without at least one of those symptoms. Only time will tell."

Anna nodded. Tough times were not new for her daughter but she did sincerely wish that this was the end of them, not the beginning. If anyone had earned the right to a stress free life, it was Robin. "What can you tell me about the baby?"

"He was delivered by c-section..."

"He?" Anna interrupted, her eyes filling with tears.

Noah smiled, unable to keep his grandfatherly pride at bay. "Yes, he, Rian Scorpio Drake. He was delivered by c-section and is very premature. He has a few health issues but if all goes according to plan, he can be treated for them and come through this beautifully. He's already picked up a few Drake traits" he added lightly.

"Flirting with nurses?" she arched her eyebrow

"How did you know?"

"I'm not a superspy for nothing Dr. Drake."

"Please - we're grandparents together" he grinned as Anna cringed "you must call me Noah."

"And you can call me Anna but if you call me granny, we're going to have a problem"

He held up his hands. "No mas"

"Is there anything I should know or do for Robin?" Noah looked at her quizzically. "Noah, I'm not sure how much Robin has shared with you about her life where Robert and I are concerned but we have been woefully absent in her life. Where some parents know instinctively what to do, I am less sure."

Noah patted her hand reassuringly. "Talk to her, listen to her, reassure her and love her - medicine is doing everything it can to heal her, the rest is up to friends and family."

Anna nodded. "Those are all things I can do."

"I would offer to take you to see Rian but I suspect Robin will want to share that moment with you."

"Did you share it with Patrick?" she asked, finding herself increasingly curious about this man, the father of her daughter's lover.

Noah's eyes became glassy. "I did." He stopped and took a breath. "It is possibly the most awe inspiring moment of my life. I don't know how much Robin has told you about me, if anything at all, but if it wasn't for the intervention and persistence of your daughter and part of my sons' liver, I wouldn't have been here to have that moment. Holding his little hand has made everything worthwhile."

Anna gave him a broad smile. "Then we are all very fortunate."

"Shall we?" he said, standing up.

"Please" Anna replied.

xxxxxx

Patrick sighed wearily as Nathalie opened the door to his house. Walking through the door, he stopped suddenly. Nathalie turned back and looked at him. "Patrick, is something wrong?"

"I've never even asked you where you're staying"

"It doesn't matter - you have many more important things to worry about."

"It does matter..."

She smiled at him. "I'm staying at the Metrocourt."

"You should stay here."

She shook her head as she closed the door behind him. "No, Patrick trust me - you need some space that's just for you, where you can close the door and just be quiet."

"I can do that with you here." He kicked off his shoes and walking into the sitting room, flopped onto the couch.

"Not if I have the kids."

"It'll give me a chance to practice" he smiled, tiredly.

"You're sweet but the kids and I will be fine at the Metrocourt" She sat opposite him. "How are you doing, really?"

"I'm okay" he said dismissively.

"You might want to try selling that to someone who doesn't know you so well" she grinned.

He smirked. "Damn - I forgot about that." He rubbed his hands over his face. "I'm exhausted."

"What happened with Rian?"

"His heart stopped."

"Oh god!" she said sympathetically.

Patrick waved his hand. "Happens to preemies all the time. They got him restarted and put him on meds. He may need surgery but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. It'll be fine."

Nathalie sighed. "And he goes into shut down mode."

He raised his eyebrows. "What are you talking about?"

"P - for as along as I've known you, anytime something hits too close to home or gets too emotional, you just shut down. You stop feeling things and try to be as clinical and detached as possible. You think if you don't feel it, it won't hurt."

"And the problem with that is?"

"When you deny your feelings, they only grow bigger" she said simply.

"Speaking for experience?" he shot at her.

Nathalie bit her lip. "Well since we're both here, are you up to talking about the elephant in the room?"

He shrugged. "There's nothing to say."

"Okay then, I'll talk. Patrick, there aren't enough words in the english language for me to apologize to you. There's no way to unsay the hateful, terrible things I said to you but I am truly sorry."

"You don't need to apologize."

"I do - I hurt you - I hurt you terribly. I was so angry. I was full of rage - still am actually. It just felt like everything between Drew and I had been a lie - that our marriage vows meant nothing if he couldn't let me be a part of what he was going through."

"Nathalie he loved you." Patrick was emphatic.

"I know he loved me but that doesn't erase what he did. He loved you - are you still angry with him?"

Patrick licked at his lips. "Yeah."

"The one thing I wasn't able to process until very recently was what all this did to you. I have some idea of how torn you were, how heavy that secret was for you to keep and knowing you as I do, I know that you only did what you believed best for the kids and for me. If I had taken two minutes to take a breath and think about it, I would have realized that when I was here. For me to have accused you of not acting in our interests was wrong and I am deeply sorry."

"You were hurt" he offered.

"It's no excuse. I also did the most terrible thing to you a person could do."

"Oh?" he asked, eyebrows raised.

"Drew talked a lot about you and then over the years as I got to know you, I came to understand how few people in your life you counted on. That you shut everyone out except for a few people. And you hold on to those people for dear life."

Patrick looked at the ground. Everything Nathalie was saying was true and much like Robin, it made him uncomfortable when people could read him.

"I tried to punish you by denying you access to the kids - they're your link to him. I wanted you to hurt as much as I was."

"I did - I do."

Nathalie exhaled. "I know" she said softly. "Patrick, you've been nothing but an amazing friend to Drew and I and then to the kids and I following his death. I'm sorry - I'm sorrier than you know."

He smiled at her. "You guys are my family Nat - long before I had Robin in my life, you were the ones who would put up with me, take me in when I couldn't put one foot in front of the other, you loved me when I was sure I was unlovable. There is no need for apologies among family. I love you and I love the kids and all that matters is that you want me in your life."

"Not just you" she said shyly "I want you and Robin and I want my kids to know your kids."

"I'd like that" he said. "How are you doing?"

She shook her head. "Nuh-uh. This is about you and if you don't want to talk about what's going on in your head, that's fine but I'm here for you - not for me."

"You're really quite stubborn, you know that?" he teased.

"As a matter of fact I do" she grinned. "Why don't you take a shower and I'll make you some dinner."

"How long are you staying?" he asked quickly.

"Tonight?"

"No, in Port Charles - how long are you staying?"

Nathalie searched his face. Her worst fears were coming true, their friendship had been irreparibly damaged and he was trying to gently get rid of her. In the end she knew it would go down like this but she at least had her chance to apologize and try to make ammends.

"Well, I should get home to the kids, so I can go home at anytime."

Patrick bit his bottom lip. He excelled in some many aspects of his life that he had become accustomed to being good at everything he did but there was one thing he was a failure at - asking for help. But he knew there was no way he could do this on his own and Nathalie was a huge comfort to him.

"Would you stay? Would you bring the kids and stay for a while longer? I mean I understand if you don't want ..."

"Of course I'll stay" she said, feeling her eyes well. "I'll go home tomorrow and see the kids and be back in a day or two."

Standing up from the couch, he walked over to her and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "Best news yet."

"Go take a shower" she ordered.

"Yes ma'am." Walking upstairs, he fished his cell phone from his pocket. He punched the number and grimaced as he got voicemail. "Hey Lulu, it's Patrick. I've called you a couple of times but I keep getting your voicemail, if I didn't know better I would say you're avoiding me. Give me a call when you get a chance - I'd like you to meet Rian and Robin would love to see you too."

xxxxxxx

Anna sat at her bedside and watched Robin sleep. She had been shocked at the sight of her - face bruised, legs in splints. Her head was still partially wrapped. Her belly was slightly distended from the c-section. "My baby has a baby" she said quietly, dropping a kiss on Robin's forehead.

Her eyes fluttered and opened slowly. "Mom?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Hi Luv - it's me."

"Are you really here?"

"I am" she tried to keep her voice even, disguising how overwhelmed she felt.

"I'm so glad" she said sleepily. "Mom - I have a son."

"I heard"

"Think I'll be as good a mom as you?" she asked waking further.

"Better, darling - you'll be much much better. I love you."

"I'm glad you're here."


	89. Chapter 89

Chapter 89

"I'm just sorry I couldn't be here sooner" Anna said, smiling at her daughter. She sat down in the chair and interlaced her fingers with Robin's. Lifting her hand, she covered it in kisses. "I am so very proud of you" she said thickly.

Robin looked at her in surprise. "Proud of me? Why?"

"My darling girl, you have brought a little life into the world…"

"But he's sick and could die" she interjected, flatly.

Anna was a little surprised at Robin's reaction. She admired so many things about her daughter not the least of which was her ability to stay positive in the face of adversity. While she may have had some influence on her when she was younger, it was her brother-in-law Mac and his wife Felicia who raised her to be the strong, compassionate woman she was and for that, Anna was immeasurably grateful.

"I've heard he's a fighter."

"What kind of life is that – when you have to fight from the very beginning? I mean I have to fight but at least I had a short period of time where I was carefree. Rian doesn't have that." Robin pulled her hand free from her mother's.

Anna narrowed her eyes. "Robin – you, better than anyone, knows that it's about what you do with what you're given. Perhaps if he has a fight now then it will be smooth sailing from here on out."

"With me as a mother?" Robin stared up at the ceiling, unwilling to meet her mother's eyes.

"I'm not sure I even know what that means." She felt a cold panic slowly wash over her. This was not her daughter, this was not how she approached things.

Robin raised her fists to her forehead. "What kind of mother would walk out into an intersection without even looking for cars? Lulu even called to me but did I stop for two seconds? No. If my baby dies, it's my fault and Patrick will never forgive me."

Anna leaned back into her chair and slowly exhaled. "You've been holding that in for a while, haven't you?"

Robin kept her eyes on the ceiling. "He's in that incubator because of me – he may die because instead of staying and holding my ground, I ran into oncoming traffic. I don't deserve to be a mother." She tried in vain to hold back her tears.

"Oh luv." Anna got up from her chair and gently climbed into Robin's bed. Carefully positioning herself, she wrapped her arms around her daughter and held her as tightly as her injuries would allow.

The familiar, comforting scent of her mother invaded her nostrils and Robin began to sob. She let her mother hold her and stroke her hair and murmur reassurances to her, all the while she wept. "I can't stop crying" she said, sniffling.

"I know sweetheart. You've had quite a shock though, haven't you. One minute you're getting ready to meet your friends for lunch and the next minute you wake up in a hospital room with your baby in another room. It's all a little much. It's okay though luv" she stroked her hair. "I'm here."

"I'm a bad mother" she said against her own mother's chest.

"Robin, what happened to you was an accident. You didn't choose to run into traffic. From what your father told me, you were being bothered by that Harris character. This was an accident – you're not at fault. And if, god forbid, the worst happen to your baby boy, you are not responsible."

"I couldn't protect him" she protested.

"But you did Robin – you did protect him. You did everything right during your pregnancy to make sure he was as healthy as could be. It's because of that, that he's able to hang on and fight now." She kissed the top of her head.

Robin melted into her mother. For so many years of her life, she had steeled herself to get through it on her own. She had been well loved but didn't want to depend on others for kindness or comfort for if they were unable to provide it when she needed it, it would hurt too much. But here, lying in the safety of her mother's arms, she gave up all of her guards and carefully constructed walls. She gave herself over to her mother, trusting Anna's love for her would get her through. Slowly, she wiped her tears from her face.

"Is it possible I won't love him enough?" she asked in a small voice.

"No, sweetheart – it's just not possible that will happen." Anna tightened her arms around her seemingly fragile daughter.

"How do you know?"

"I know because you're my daughter and I have never known anyone with as great a capacity for love as you."

"He..P..he loves Rian a lot" Robin said.

"Who luv?"

"Him…um…." Robin took a deep breath. It was like the name was dangling in front of her, just out of her reach. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to see it. "Patrick" she said in relief "Patrick loves him a lot."

"Well love comes pretty honestly for parents. Even your father and I, for all our issues and there are many, we are both dead clear on how much we love you."

Robin snuggled against her mother. "How do you know what to do?"

Anna smiled. "There's no manual, if that's what you're asking" she joked.

"I was, actually" Robin smiled against her.

"You figure it out as you go. Besides love there really are only two things you need to give a child."

"What's that?" she asked, raising her head up slightly.

"Roots and wings." Robin gave her a puzzled look. "Roots so your child knows where they come from and wings so they have enough confidence to take on the world." She lowered her head to Robin's. "It's my hope we did that for you."

"You did" she said quietly. "You haven't met Patrick yet but trust me when I tell you, confidence will not be an issue"

Robin smiled as she thought of Patrick. His arrogance inside and out of the OR, his swagger and the smirk on his face the first time they met – confidence was never an issue for him. But beyond that lay a man with so much love to give. He had kept it to himself for a long time but now that he was ready, she and Rian were the lucky recipients of it.

"Thinking of your Patrick?" Anna asked, pulling her from her thoughts.

"How did you know?"

"The look on your face – it's the look of a woman in love"

Robin smiled instinctively. "I can't wait for you to meet Rian and Stone" she said.

"You mean Patrick sweetheart."

"What?"

"You said Rian and Stone – but you mean Patrick."

Robin shook her head. "That's a Freudian slip – of course I meant Patrick. I can't wait for you to meet my two men."

"Why don't close your eyes and get some rest? When you wake up, we can go meet your baby."

"Will you stay with me?" she asked urgently.

Anna kissed her daughter's cheek. "Of course I'll stay – for as long as you need."

xxxxxx

Patrick looked up, beaming from his plate. "I forgot what a good cook you are."

Nathalie smiled shyly. "Two years of cooking school before I realized I was meant to be a lawyer."

"You mean before you realized you could afford more Gucci shoes as a lawyer than as a chef" he teased, placing his knife and fork over his cleaned plate.

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

Patrick smiled before becoming serious. "There's something I need to tell you."

Nathalie felt a familiar panic coil in her stomach. Ever since the phone call from the police telling her that her husband had been killed in a car accident, she became afraid of the unknown.

"What?" she asked as confidently as she could muster.

Patrick ran his hands through his hair. Talking about his feelings was never something he liked to do but other the last several months he had learned that life was too unpredictable to leave things unsaid. "We always talk about Andrew being my best friend – and he was. I mean, we literally grew up together. And when I first knew he was getting serious about you, I was actually kind of bummed."

"I thought you liked me, even then" she said.

"I did – but I just thought I was losing my best friend – to a woman no less" he teased. "But then I got to know you, you always included me in everything you guys did – you made me feel welcome and you made feel loved…"

"Two things you weren't getting a lot of at the time" she confirmed to him.

He nodded. "I guess what I'm trying to say, rather badly I might add, is that along the way, you and Drew became my best friends – it was Nat and Drew that I went to – it was the two of you I thought of when I had good news to tell. I just want you to know that just because Drew is gone it doesn't change anything. Yours is the most valuable of friendships – and I love you" he said thickly.

Nathalie's breath caught in her throat. "I love you too P." They stared at each other for several minutes before Nathalie finally dropped her eyes. "Okay, enough of the touchy feely stuff – we have reputations to maintain."

"Right" he said clearing his throat "You are a cold, unfeeling shark who preys on small fish"

"And you are cold unfeeling quack whose bedside manner is best appreciated by the patient when they are unconscious." She winked at him. "I should get going – I need to go home, call the kids and book a flight."

Patrick walked her to the door and gave her a tight hug before opening the door. "Make sure you get some rest Patrick –no going back to the hospital tonight."

"Yes ma'am" he said, saluting.

She stuck her tongue out at him as she left.

Walking to the Metrocourt, she decided to walk along the water. For the first time in months, she was beginning to feel lighter – she was beginning to feel things other than rage, anger and turmoil. She always expected to find great love and that's what Andrew was to her. Getting Patrick as part of the package was a gift. She had just walked down the stairs when she saw the familiar figure of Lulu, hunched over on a bench. Nathalie grimaced as she walked towards her. It was clear Lulu still hadn't told anyone of her diagnosis or there is no way she would be sitting alone on the docks.

"Lulu?" she asked as she sat down beside her. "Everything okay?"

She shook her head. "I feel like I'm going to hurl" she said into her hands.

"Give me your hand" she ordered. Lulu lifted her head, meeting Nathalie's eyes and offered her hand.

Nathalie began to massage the skin between her thumb and forefinger. She could feel the tension start to leave the young girl's body. Lulu sat up straight. "How did you do that?"

"Two kids, bad morning sickness – I would have sold my soul to stop feeling sick. A woman in my office was good at acupressure and taught me this technique." Lulu nodded. "How are you doing?"

Lulu chewed on her lip. "Okay, I guess."

"Have you been talking to…" the words died on Nathalie's lips as she saw a suitcase on the other side of Lulu's legs. "Are you going on a trip?" she asked evenly.

She shrugged. "Kind of – I'm going to California."

"What's in California?"

"People I don't know" she said flatly. "And if you're about to lecture me that running away doesn't help, save it. I just don't want to be here."

"I know that feeling" she said quietly. "I hate being at home"

"Really?" she asked curiously.

"Really – I hate it but the thought of moving is too much for my pea brain to think about right now."

Lulu smiled. "I can't think at all – I just think if I were somewhere else it would be easier."

"I know it seems that way but…"

"Well hello again" Nikolas said, coming upon Lulu and Nathalie.

"Hi Nikolas" Nathalie said, carefully letting go of Lulu's hand. "This is a nice surprise."

He smiled warmly at her. "I didn't know you knew my sister"

Nathalie looked from Nikolas to Lulu. "Lulu is your sister?"

"Lucky me, right?" Lulu snarked.

"Oh, am I the hated big brother this week? I thought it was Lucky's turn" he smiled, trying to get a rise from her.

"Whatever"

"I've been trying to get in touch with you for days but you aren't returning my calls."

"I've been busy"

"What brings you to the docks, Nikolas?" Nathalie asked trying to change the subject.

"I live over there" he said, pointing to Spoon Island. "The launch leaves from here." He looked over at Lulu who was suspiciously quiet and his eyes fell on her suitcase. "Lulu – what's with the suitcase?"  
"I, uh…." She stammered.

Nathalie made a silent wish of forgiveness for what she was about to do. "Lulu was actually just telling me that she was moving in her with brother – that she wants to spend more time with him."

Lulu and Nikolas both looked at her in surprise.


	90. Chapter 90

Chapter 90

"She does? You do?" Nikolas turned to Lulu.

Lulu stared at Nathalie, her mouth hanging open slightly. Nathalie gave her an encouraging look and a slight nod of her head. Lulu chewed on the inside of her cheek. "Um, yeah - it was getting too much at the Quartermaine's. I was at Kelly's for a while but...uh..." she jammed her hands in her pockets "I'd really like to stay with you and Spencer."

Nikolas' face softened as looked at his baby sister. He had tried to talk to her about her act of heroism regarding Robin's accident but she had shut down and shut him out. He was grateful she was being even slightly receptive to him. "Well of course you can Lulu - my home is your home."

Nathalie smiled at Nikolas. "Who is Spencer?" she asked "Your other brother?"

He smiled shyly. "No - he's my son."

"How nice - how old is he?"

"He's eight months - do you have children?" Lulu watched the interaction between her brother and Nathalie and for the first time in days, allowed herself a small smile.

"I have two - a four year old and an 11 month old."

"Wow - you must have your hands full" he said admirably.

"That's one way to put it" she laughed lightly.

"Nathalie, why don't you come to Wyndermere with us and you could have tea and cookies - Nikolas' butler Alfred makes the most amazing butterscotch cookies" Lulu suggestd.

Nathalie looked at her warmly. "That's a kind offer Lulu but I have to get back to the hotel and pack."

"Oh" Nikolas said, suprisingly disappointed. "You're returning to DC?"

"Just for a few days. I need to go get my kids and then I'll be back. I'm on my way to the hotel so I can book a flight home"

Nikolas was suprised for the second time as he began to smile again. "I can have my pilot take you."

Nathalie choked slightly. "You can have your pilot take me?"

Lulu laughed. "My brother is independently wealthy" she bragged.

"Lulu!" Nikolas admonished. "I'm sorry, Nathalie - that was rude of my sister. But what she lacks in tact she makes up for in honesty. I do have a plane and a pilot at my disposal and I would be pleased if you made use of it."

"Oh, that's very kind but I don't know if I could do that."

"Why fly commercial?" he said "Besides this means that you can join us for tea and cookies"

"The cookies are really good" Lulu encouraged.

"Fine - how can I resist - a private plane AND cookies."

Nikolas led them both to the launch. Nathalie's mouth fell open as the boat docked at Wyndermere. "This is a magnificent house" she said as they walked up the stairs.

"Wait until you see the inside" Nikolas said, showing them in. "I'll just go speak with Alfred about those cookies."

Lulu and Nathalie made their way into the sitting room and sat on the couch. "It's very dramatic" she said.

"Yeah" Lulu agreed, pulling her legs underneath her "It's a bit gothic but Nikolas likes it."

"I hope you're not too angry with me for forcing you to come here."

She shook her head. "No..I guess...sometimes you need a push."

"Can I give you one more?" Lulu narrowed her eyes, anticipating what was coming. "I think you should tell your brother. That will make two of us who know and that you can count on."

Lulu shook her head. "I don't know...I'm uh...I...I'm scared" she whispered.

Nathalie found Lulu endearing. There was something about her, her need to be tough even when she wasn't, that made Nathalie want to protect her. "I can do it with you" she offered.

"Why would you?" Lulu asked.

Nathalie gave her a half smile. "Because, I have some very recent experience in facing monsters under the bed and it always goes better with a partner."

"What goes better with a partner?" Nikolas asked coming back into the room. Alfred followed in with a tray of tea and cookies.

"Ballroom dancing" Lulu covered.

"Ah" Nik said, giving her a strange look. Alfred passed out the tea to the three and lit a fire in the fire place on his way out of the room. "So Nathalie, have you known Patrick long?"

She smiled. "Patrick was best friends with my husband."

"I see. Is your husband taking care of your children right now?" he asked, trying to cover his disappointment yet again.

Lulu rolled her eyes. "Way to step in it Nik."

"I don't understand?"

Nathalie smiled apologetically. "My husband died a couple of months ago."

Uncharacteristically Nikolas blushed. So used to saying just the right thing in any social situation, he was embarassed that he had put Nathalie on the spot. "I am so sorry. That was incredibly rude of me."

"Not at all. There was no way for you to know."

"What do you do in DC?" he asked, trying to recover from his gaffe.

"I'm a lawyer - I work for a trade advocacy firm."

"That must be enjoyable work"

"Not really" she laughed. "I've been rethinking quite a few things lately and I'm not sure I'm made to do that job anymore. I have a hard time getting all worked up over international trade policy agreements."

"It sounds cool" Lulu said.

"This coming from the girl who doesn't know what she wants to be when she grows up." Nikolas teased.

Lulu's face fell immediately. Nathalie reached for her hand. "Maybe now would be a good time" she suggested softly. Lulu's eyes filled with tears and she sucked in a breath.

"What's going on?" Nikolas asked, suddenly concerned by the change in atmosphere.

Nathalie squeezed her hand. "I'm right here with you."

"I got my test results from Alan" Lulu said quickly.

"Yeah and you'll need a second test in six months" he said.

Lulu looked at Nathalie, pleading with her to help. "Want me to rip the band aid off?" she asked quietly. Nathalie turned to Nikolas. "Nikolas, Lulu's tested positive for HIV."

His teacup fell from his hand. Nikolas jumped from his seat. "I'm sorry, that was terribly clumsy" he picked the broken china up and put it on the table, never taking his eyes from his sister. "Is Alan sure Lu?" Nikolas tried to keep his voice as steady as he could. She nodded, too overcome by emotion to speak. "Are you on a protocol?"

"Yeah" she said hoarsely "I started a few days ago."

Nikolas tilted his head to the side. "And that's why you've been avoiding me?" She grimaced. "Oh Lulu" he stood up from his chair and sat on the other side of Lulu. He pulled Lulu to him and though she remained tense, Nikolas continued to hold her. "I'm so sorry Lulu - I'm sorry I wasn't there to get those results with you but I'm here now." Lulu pressed her head against her brother's chest and let the tears that she had been holding onto fall. "I love you Lulu and you're not alone."

Lulu grabbed at his shirt, sobbing. "I don't want to do this"

"I know Lu, I know." He was briefly dumbstruck as he processed his sister's news. He had more money than several generations could possibly spend but it was of no use here, it couldn't undo what was done. Looking over at Nathalie he mouthed the words 'thank you' to her. She smiled and gave him a quick nod.

"I'm going to go" she said. "I think you guys have a lot to take about." She gave Lulu's leg a squeeze. "I'll talk to you soon Lulu - Gracie will be really happy to see you."

Sniffling but unwilling to let go of the safety of her brother, she smiled through her tears. "Thanks Nat"

"Anytime Lu"

"I'll call you tomorrow regarding your flight" Nikolas said as she made her way to the door.

"Thanks for the cookies" She gave a small wave before disappearing out the door.

xxxxxx

Patrick wandered around the house, suddenly aware of how empty it was without Robin. He had once said that for one so small Robin took up a lot of space and the silence of the house only drove the point home. He was beyond exhausted but was almost afraid to stop in case he couldn't get started again. Nathalie had cooked and cleaned, leaving him with nothing to do. The idea of returning to the hospital was a tempting one but he knew he couldn't - he needed to find a way disengage, even for a few hours. For a brief moment he thought about calling Brenda and inviting over but common sense took over and pushed the thought far from his head.

Climbing the stairs, he stopped on the third one and looked around. He had never noticed before that they creaked. Every groan of the house sounded new or different as if reality without Robin seemed less sharp, less full. He climbed the rest of the stairs to the bedroom and sank on the bed. They had been together almost every night since the Nurses Ball and he had never slept in this bed without her. It looked enormous and incredibly lonely.

He stripped off his clothes finding his limbs growing heavier with each movement. In a move that would have resulted in a disapproving noise from Robin, he left them in a pile on the side of the bed. He pulled the covers back and was surprised when a tshirt came flying at him. Grabbing hold of it, he laughed to himself. It was his Giants tshirt that Robin had claimed as her own. As she continued to expand during her pregnancy, she claimed it was the only thing that fit her comfortably. He had left the house first on the day of the accident. He had an early surgery and in an effort not to wake her had snuck from the bed, leaving her a post-it note on his pillow. The image of her lying on her side, her hair floating against the white pillow case was still fresh in his mind.

Still holding the tshirt, he climbed into bed and pulled the covers around him. He brought the shirt to his nose and inhaled deeply - Robin's scent invaded his nostrils. He felt a stirring between his legs as he breathed it in a second time. He cursed his sensitive body and its reaction to just her scent. He lay flat on his back and sighed, looking up at the ceiling. He was tired but couldn't rest - Robin was the only thing on his mind.

He let his hand wander between his legs and take hold of his growing arousal. He absently stroked himself as he continued to think of her. The softness of her lips on his skin, the heat from her mouth when she kissed him. He felt his erection stiffen against his hand. He thought of that night in Greece where he had decided to claim her for himself and threw her over his shoulder carrying her back to his room. Closing his eyes, his breath became more rapid as he pictured her moving back on his bed naked except for her high heeled shoes. She had spread her legs, teasingly. He had kissed her body, paying special attention to her breasts, licking and flicking her nipples. He loved her breasts, they were small but round and very responsive to his touch. He hardened further thinking about sliding his fingers inside her wetness. He loved the way she would grab his hair as he increased the pressure. The feeling of his fingers inside her tightness was nearly his undoing everytime.

He tightened his own hand around his erection and began to pump harder. He imagined it was her tiny hands moving up and down him, getting him harder with every stroke. She liked to drag her thumb over his tip, sending shivers through his body. His pace increased further as he thought about entering her and the little gasp of air she let out every time. In the last few months their favourite position had been on their sides. She wrapped her smooth leg over his hip and pulled him in closer with every thrust. Her slick channel closing around him, the sensation making it almost impossible for him to see. Her hips undulated against his, matching him movement for movement. He was panting hard, imaging the feel of her breasts pressed against his chest, his hands roaming over her body, grabbing hold of her behind, massaging it. He loved the smell of her when he brushed his lips against her neck, sucking on her earlobe.

Feeling himself get closer to his climax, his mind went to his favourite image of Robin. The night of the Nurses Ball, he had been unable to resist her and in the backseat of the limosuine, he had pushed her dress up, peeled off her panties and put them in his pocket. He concentrated all of his efforts on her, tracing circles around her clit, eliciting moans that were like music. Wanting to watch her get off, he had moved his fingers around inside her, probing deeper, getting lost in the feel of her body. She had bucked against his hand, riding it all the way. Her body had stilled for just a moment, pusling around his fingers until she came apart, wave after wave of orgasm washing over her.

Patrick caught his breath as his own body went still before coming hard. He threw his head back, out of breath wishing his fantasies had been a reality. As his heartrate returned to normal, he reached for the t-shirt and pulled it over his head. He just needed to be close to her.


	91. Chapter 91

Chapter 91

Robert looked at his captive, still unconscious on the bed. His plan for him wasn't fully thought out but his objective was clear – he would feel as much pain as he caused Robin. What he had done to his daughter was unconscionable and there would be payback. Standing over him he tapped his face.

"Wakey wakey Brucie boy – time to come out and play." He frowned when there was no reaction. Slapping him hard across the face, he was pleased to see him snap to with a small hint of terror in his eyes.

"Wha…what happened?" he asked, disoriented. He raised his hand to his face was surprised by the handcuff around his wrist, attached to a long chain.

Robert sat back down in the metal chair opposite the cot, smiling. "Well my boy, you tried to out fox me which as your pounding headache will attest, is never a good idea."

"What do you plan to do to me?" he asked, praying his voice wasn't betraying the fear he felt.

"Why? Are you scared?" his voice was disinterested.

Bruce licked his dry, chapped lips, his eyes darted around the room. "Can I have something to drink?"

"There's water right beside your bed." Robert nodded at the bedside table.

Bruce sat up slowly, the pain in his head was excruciating. He gripped his head, grimacing as he reached for the glass. "Can I have something for the pain?"

"No" Robert said flatly. "Do you think there was a pill my daughter could take to dull the pain you caused? There is no pill to undo the public humiliation you heaped on her so unless you know how to strike that memory from her soul, you'll just have to suffer."

Bruce's lips groped for the rim of the glass, taking a small sip of the tepid water. Putting the glass back down, he returned to lying on his back, hoping the room would stop spinning. "How long are you going to keep me here?"

"As long as I need to."

Bruce groaned. "I never meant to hurt Robin."

"You're lying" he said simply. "But of course, you're a politician, you've told so many lies you don't even know what the truth sounds like anymore. But have no fear Brucie, by the time I'm done with you, the truth will be crystal clear."

Bruce felt his stomach drop. There was a coldness to Robert that could not be breached. In the past he had been able to rely on his charm or his wit to get him out of difficult situations but it was abundantly clear that neither of those would have any influence on Robert.

"Robert, please – this is madness – let me go and I won't press charges"

Robert got up from his chair and walked to the bed, laughing. "Won't press charges?" He punched him hard in the jaw, pulling his punch just enough so that he didn't break it. Bruce cried out in pain.

"Don't you understand?" he said quietly. "I'm in charge - you have nothing to bargain with. I could make you disappear at a moment's notice and no one would ever be able to find you." He sat down on the side of the bed. "Ever been to Kazakhstan? They have some wonderful prisons there – great mental facilities. You know, no one ever did torture as well as the Ruskies. Oh sure, everyone is all enamored with the work the Saudis and the Syrians do but honestly, that's new stuff. The Russians like to kick it old school when it comes to torture. In their mental hospitals, they are a big proponent of lobotomies – but they like to do them when the patient is awake, to make sure they hit all the right spots." He smiled coolly. "And then there's the secret police – now these guys take pride in their work. They like to warm you up by stripping you naked and sitting you on a chair with your feet in water. They attach a few little electrodes to your ..bits and fire away. Volts of electricity shriveling your nuts – of course in your case it may be redundant. I have to say though, my all time favourite is the glass rod. They shove that up your dick – not gentle like those folks at the STD clinics that you know – they shove it up there real hard and just when you think you can't take anymore, whammo! they shatter it." He gave him a half grin "I could arrange it so that you spend decades there" Robert sniffed the air and then jumped off the bed. "You pissed yourself?" he said in disgust. "Oh well – here's hoping it keeps you warm until I come back."

Robert walked away from him, up the stairs and closed the door behind him. The only sound that could be heard was Bruce sobbing.

xxxxxxx

Patrick thumbed through a medical journal as he watched Robin sleep. He had woken before the sun came up and after several failed attempts to go back to sleep, got up and left for the hospital. Alan had given him indefinite leave until both Robin and Rian were out of danger but he didn't want to be completely out of touch. He knew all too well that Robin's recovery alone could be months in the making. The full extent of her injuries was still not truly known. She remained at risk for further bleeds in the brain and she would need extensive physiotherapy to get her legs functional again.

Her eyes began to flutter and her head moved side to side as she started to wake. "Qui a occuper le fromage?" she said, groggily.

"Robin?" Patrick asked gently.

"Excusez moi monsieur mais qui a occuper le fromage?"

"Robin, sweetie, wake up" he said as he got out of his chair.

"Malheureusement je ne peux pas participer a votre souper"

Patrick touched her shoulder. "Robin – wake up, you're dreaming"

Her eyes flew open. "Where am I?" she said sleepily.

He felt a small sense of panic take hold. "You're in the hospital. Robin, do you know who I am?"

She rubbed her eyes. "Patrick why are you asking me stupid questions so early in the morning?"

He smiled in relief and bent down to kiss her gently on the lips. "You were just a little confused when you were waking up."

"I was dreaming I was back in Paris."

"I thought as much – the French gave it away." He brushed her lips again. "By the way, you are so hot when you speak French."

Robin patted her oily hair. "How can you even say that –I'm a mess."

He sighed against her mouth. "Never. No matter what, you are the hottest woman there is."

"You're biased" she said, enjoying the feel of his breath against her skin. The nearness of his body made her feel safe.

"Maybe." He sat back in the chair. "I dreamt about you last night."

Robin did a quick double take, noting his sly expression. "You did?"

"Mm-hmm. Remind me when I get you home to show you."

She shook her head lightly. "Seriously – is that all you ever think about?" she teased.

"When it comes to you, it's the first thing I think about" he smiled seductively.

Robin groaned, even in her banged up, post surgical state he could still elicit small stirrings in her. "I miss having you in bed with me."

"Me too" he said softly. "I kept reaching for you last night but all I got were armfuls of air."

Robin looked at him sympathetically. She was having a hard time processing thoughts for any length of time – thinking too much generally resulted in a headache – but somewhere in her consciousness she was aware of how difficult this was for him. She knew that Patrick was trying to tough his way through this as he did so many things but inside it was slicing at him. She wasn't convinced she would have lasted as long as he did if the situation was reversed. There were few things in life that gave Patrick the security he craved, medicine was one and along the way she had become another. She knew that his foundation had been rocked and wished she could make it better. Pulling back the covers on her bed, she moved slightly to the left.

"There's no reason we can't lie in bed now" she offered.

Patrick smiled. Somehow, even in the all the madness, Robin could still give him what he wanted, what he needed. He fell in love with her more everyday. Slipping off his shoes, he climbed in to bed beside her and pulled her against him. Closing his arms around her, he kissed the top of her head. "How was the rest of your night?" he asked into her hair.

"My mom came" she said excitedly. She would never be able to tell Patrick of the guilt and fear she felt about her accident but telling her mother made her feel less afraid.

"That's great" he said. "Do I get to meet her?"

"She said she would be back today."

"Did you take her to meet Rian?" he asked, revelling in the feel of her body against his.

"No – I was too tired" she sighed "But maybe the three of us could go today. I can't wait for her to meet him."

"Sure thing. Nathalie has gone home to DC to get the kids but she's coming back."

"You guys have made it up?" Robin asked hopefully.

She felt him nod against her. "We had a good talk and everything is fine. It feels like a hole has been filled – does that make sense?"

Robin smiled. "It does – she and Drew were a huge part of your life and the fight with her only doubled the loss for you."

"You know, I've never spent so much time talking about my feelings since I met you."

"Well you had to start at some point" she teased. She pressed her ear against his chest. "I can hear your heart."

"Can you tell that it's beating faster because you're near me?"

She lifted her head slightly. "That's not the first time you've used that line"

"No" he grinned "but it is the first time I've meant it."

She kissed his chest through his shirt. "Tell me a story" she asked.

"A story?"

"Yeah – just tell me a story."

Patrick sighed and shifted until he got more comfortable in the bed. Robin snuggled in tighter to him.

"Okay, let's see – so I met this girl one day. I was busy in the OR and she bursting through the doors ordering me around." Robin giggled. "And I knew right then that I needed to spend some time with her. She was going after what she wanted and I liked that. She bullied me into doing an operation for an ex-boyfriend and I was brilliant" he teased. "I thought she was cold and cut off from the world but I learned pretty quickly that my assumptions were wrong. The first time she kissed me – in the hospital lobby no less – my legs went to jelly. Her lips were so soft and I had never felt anything sweeter. We went for dinner and I finally caught a real glimpse of her fire. Now see, I thought it was fire being held back by ice but I soon discovered that it wasn't ice – she just was picky about who got to see her fiery side – which only made it hotter, I might add. She took me on this amazing ride – one minute she's blinding me with her brilliance during a crisis and the next minute she's providing me unconditional support with my father. And then she's bossing me around about my attitude with patients and then defending me to anyone who said a bad thing about me. She flew half way around the world to rescue her father and I forced her to take me with her so I could see her in action." He stroked her hair, slowly. The vibrations in his chest from his voice were lulling Robin to sleep. "Every time she kissed me, I fell a little harder and a little deeper. When I finally got a chance to be alone with her, got to touch her, be with her and feel her, I knew I was done for. I was a jerk at times but I couldn't stay away - this girl was like the ones you dream about and then she did the most amazing thing."

"What's that?" she asked sleepily, with her eyes closed.

"She loved me" he whispered.


	92. Chapter 92

Chapter 92

Patrick hadn't realized he had fallen asleep with Robin in his arms until he began to stir. He couldn't shake the feeling that someone was staring at him. He inhaled deeply and opened his eyes. Looking around the room, his eyes fell on a familiar sight. He smiled and shifted slightly.

"That's quite a bedside manner - though I suppose it's not beside, it's in bed isn't it" Anna said scrutinizing the young man.

"I like to give a personal touch." He flashed his dimple. "You must be Robin's mother."

"Because we look so much alike?"

"Because there are several pictures of you in our house."

Anna smiled broadly. "It's nice to finally meet you Patrick."

"You too" he whispered.

He moved to get off the bed but Anna waved him back. "Don't get up" she said softly. "I came to check on Robin and was pleasantly surprised to find you here."

He smiled shyly. "I would have been here last night but she insisted I go home."

"My daughter can be rather stubborn."

"Robert claims she gets it from you."

"Yes, well he's had one too many knocks to the head."

Patrick grinned. Robin had warned him of her parents inability to go more than ten minutes without bickering. He was reminded of the afternoon in his hotel room where they were engaged in what turned out to be a foiled attempt to have sex. They had thrown themselves at each other passionately when out of nowhere, Robin blurted out that her mother said he was like her father. It was like a cold shower. But having spent some time with Robert he realized there could be much worse to be compared with.

"She's going to be out for a while - can I buy you a coffee?" he asked.

She looked at him in surprise. Having run a background check on him, she found him to be squeaky clean except for a few frat boy incidents. In fact, the report told her almost nothing about him. Several phone calls with Brenda and Robin later, she felt she was only scratching the surface and she was incredibly curious about the man who had made his daughter come to life again.

"Are you sure she won't miss you?"

"She always does" he winked "but her i.v meds were changed a short while ago - she's down for the count."

"Then I would love for you to buy me a coffee."

She stood back and watched with appreciation as he carefully removed himself from her bed before tucking the blankets around her and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. There was much in his small gestures that told her what kind of man he was. As he held the door open for her, she could see that he was very much his father's son. They walked in silence to the cafeteria, she could sense his nervousness about her.

"So how bad is the coffee here?" she asked, trying to put him at ease.

"Really quite bad" he admitted with a laugh. "But it eventually kills your tastebuds and then you don't notice it any more."

"Excellent - nothing like death to tastebuds through coffee."

Patrick suggested she get a seat and he would get their coffees. She watched the commanding way in which he walked. He had a ready smile for everyone but being an expert in body language, it was obvious to her that the smiles were forced. He was clearly respected by his colleagues but kept them at a distance. In the short walk from Robin's room to the cafeteria she sensed a change in him. In Robin's bed, he was open and relaxed, but here, with others, everything about him screamed guarded. She chuckled softly. Her daughter had managed to choose the one person in the world who was most like her.

"Here you go" he said, placing the mug in front of her.

"Cheers" she raised it to him.

Patrick stared into his mug. He found it difficult to concentrate on any on thing for longer than a few minutes. His thoughts were constantly pulled to Rian and Robin. Orignally he thought he could work his way through this, keep himself distracted but one night in his office, he read the same chart for 30 minutes and then wrote a prescription for a drug that could have killed his patient. Thankfully Epiphany caught the error, saving both him and the patient. He could feel Anna's eyes on him and realized he needed to make an effort before she wrote him off as a complete waste of space, unworthy of her daughter. "So, Ms.Devane - how long will you be able to stay?"

Anna smiled kindly. "First of all Patrick, call me Anna. I'm hoping to stay for a few weeks, unfortunately I was in a deep cover assignment and will be forced to go back shortly."

"Well I know Robin is grateful you're here."

"How is she doing, really?"

Patrick shrugged. "There is no underestimating the extent of her injuries. Anytime the brain is involved, it gets tricky but I'm pleased that her legs are healing well, her viral load has diminished from what it was - those are all good things. And she bonded really quickly with Rian - another positive sign."

"I sense a but"

"Well, she doesn't remember the accident which is not surprising but who knows what kind of landmines await her as those memories come back. And there are a couple of details I've held back until she's stronger."

"Such as?" Anna was calm, waiting for Patrick to let her know if there was a reason for panic.

"Her heart and breathing has stopped on different occassions. In fact, after she was hit, she wasn't breathing and Lulu Spencer ran to her aid and gave her mouth to mouth. She would have died if Lulu hadn't interceded."

"Lulu Spencer?" Anna asked in surprise "Luke and Laura's little girl?"

Patrick smiled. "Not that little anymore - she's 17 and chock full of Spencer sass."

"So Robin has no idea?"

He shook his head. "No - I'll tell her in time but I'm just concerned about overwhelming her with too much right now."

Anna leaned back, twirling the mug on the table. "You really love her, don't you?"

Patrick blew out the air in his cheeks, fidgeting with his fingers. "I guess this is where I make my pitch to convince you that I'm worthy of Robin?"

Anna laughed. "God no - as if you could Patrick, no one is worthy of Robin."

"Spoken like a true Mama Bear" he chuckled.

"I don't need you to pitch me Patrick, I'm just curious about you."

"Because I'm in love with your daughter?" he asked, puzzled.

"No, because of what you've done for my daughter."

"Done for?"

"I almost wish you had known Robin in Paris so that you could truly appreciate the change in her. My daughter was emotionally spent when she got to France. It wasn't just her heart that had been broken, her soul had too. She had resigned herself to a quiet life, committed to her work only and content to live on memories. Both Brenda and I had tried many things to get her to change but there was just no moving her. I was quite concerned when she came back to Port Charles."

"Why?" Patrick was almost afraid to interrupt her, afraid she would suddenly hold back the insight she had been providing.

She grimaced. "Returning to the scene of the crime. And though she will never say it, what Jason Morgan did to her was a crime. Shortly after she got here though, she started to sound different, she was brighter, more alive. I mean, most of our phone calls were spent listening to her moan about you" Patrick blushed. "But it was good, I hadn't heard her speak that passionately about anyone or anything."

"She got me from the start" he said. "We started a conversation the day we met that I have no intention of ever finishing. Just when I would think I had her figured out, she would show me another layer, a different side. It's like.." Patrick paused.

"It's like what?" Anna was curious as to how this man saw her daughter.

"It's like she's the most complete person I've ever known" he said shyly. "Which, you know, gives me something to strive for" he joked. She smiled. "Anna, your daughter wasn't the only one who needed to put Humpty Dumpty back together. I may have been more outgoing than Robin, more adventurous but that was all in an effort to avoid standing still. Robin would be rooted to one place contemplating the minute detail of every thing. I would contemplate nothing. She wanted to feel it all and I wanted to do anything but feel."

"And now?"

"And now, it's not so scary. Robin loves me and instead of that tying me down as I thought love did, it set me free. I don't have to worry about being loved or mattering. I am and I do - so I'm free to be brave, to take risks on the things that matter - Robin has done that for me."

"Seems like you both freed each other, if you ask me."

"And Robin would take it as a sign of personal growth that I didn't try to flirt with you" he said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Is that because you know I can kill you?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

"Pretty much."

Anna stood "Shall we go check on our girl?"

"You go ahead, I just have one phone call to make."

"Thanks for the coffee"

"Any time."

Patrick flipped his phone open and dialed the familiar number. He was no longer surprised that it went to voice mail. "Lesley Lu Spencer, it has been four days since I've seen or heard from you and I'm beginning to think that you may not like me anymore. How is that even possible when I am so very charming and cool? Give me a call, please. I'm getting quite worried about you."

xxxxxxx

Lulu lay on the bed in her room at Wyndermere, staring at her cell phone. Her finger had hovered over the talk button on the phone but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She didn't trust her ability to fake happiness and she was afraid Patrick would see through her. She threw the phone down on the bed and sighed. She would give almost anything not to feel hopeless. Everything felt so big, so crushing. It was an effort to talk to anyone, even to make small talk. Nathalie had been the only one who reached her and Lulu wasn't even sure why. They barely knew each other but she gave off such a sense of comfort and safety that she was drawn to her. And now there was Nikolas. There's had always been a close bond, forged by the bone marrow donation he had made to save her life when she was an infant. It all seemed for nothing now. It was as if the universe had determined that she was going to die of disease and all they had done was change which disesase it was.

Swinging her legs off of the bed, she walked to the window and looked out over the water. It seemed awfully tempting to just jump in and let herself sink to the bottom. She shook her head, trying to focus on something, anything remotely positive. She turned her head at the knock at the door. "Come in" she said quietly.

"Someone wanted to see their Auntie Lulu" Nikolas said, walking in with his son Spencer in his arms. He walked to Lulu and kissed her on the cheek. "Good morning"

"Yeah" she mumbled.

"Why don't you take him for a bit?" Nikolas asked, holding Spencer out to her.

"I don't think I should." She took a step back.

Nikolas frowned. "Why not?"

"Because...you know...HIV"

"Lulu, no." Reaching out to her, he took her hand and pulled her gently to her bed. They both sat down and Nikolas placed Spencer between them. "Having HIV doesn't mean you can't play or touch Spencer. I want you to hold him - he wants you to hold him. He loves his Auntie Lu and you can't deprive him off that."

Lulu picked up Spencer's hand and softly played with it. "Nikolas, it changes everything."

"No way. It doesn't change the things that matter. You are loved Lulu, by me, by Lucky and Elizabeth, Cameron and Spencer and our mom. And yes, even Luke. None of that changes."

"You say that now..."

"And I'll say it always. You are my sister - my sister Lulu and there is nothing you can do or have happen to you that would make me love you less."

"How do I do this?" she asked.

"By letting people help you. I know that now isn't a good time but when Robin is out of the hospital, she will be a great support to you."

"No - she can never know."

"I don't understand, Lu. If anyone is going to know what you're going through, it's her."

"Nik when she finds out that I got HIV from her, she will be so upset and I just don't think I can take it if someone tells me that I shouldn't have done what I did. This sucks so much, I still can't believe it's happened but I have to believe that it was worth it, that I did a good thing. And if someone, anyone tells me that I shouldn't have put myself at risk then it means this is all for nothing." She got off the bed. "You can't tell her Nik."

"I won't" he said carefully. "Where are you going?"

"I have to go meet someone"

"Who?"

"My soon to be ex-boyfriend Darren."

"You have a boyfriend?" he asked in surprise.

"It wasn't anything serious - we just kind of hung out but Alan says I need to tell him that I've tested HIV+"

"Were you and he...never mind I don't want to know. Why are you breaking up with him?"

"I'm not" she said, pulling her hair up. "But the minute he finds out that I'm HIV, he's going to drop me like yesterday's news."

"Lu" he said softly. "You don't know that - maybe, David..er.. Darren, is a smart guy and will see past it."

"Why would he - if he has a choice between an HIV- girl and HIV + positive girl I know the choice he's going to make."

"He could surprise you."

"Why - do you actually think your choice would be any different?"


	93. Chapter 93

Chapter 93

Chapter 93

"Lulu, wait!" Nikolas called to her as he scrambled from the bed with Spencer in his arms.

"What?" the frustration and fear evident in her voice.

All she wanted to do was run as far and as fast as she could. She wanted to know if it were possible to outrun the feelings of hopelessness and dread that occupied her mind non-stop.

"It depends on the girl."

"What does?"

"You asked me if I had to choose would I ever choose an HIV+ girl and I'm just saying it depends on the girl."

"Easy for you to say" she grumbled.

Nikolas' face softened. His sister was angry and scared and felt more alone than she normally did and he desperately wanted to make it better. "You probably don't know this because you were really young at the time but I had a huge crush on someone who has HIV."

"Who?" she asked frowning.

"Robin" he said simply. "We became friends years ago and I was so attracted to her. I knew all about her HIV and it didn't bother me, I still wanted to be with her."

"What happened?"

Nikolas grimaced. "She went back to Jason." Normally not one for regret, Robin would always be the one who got away. "But I just want you to know that I wanted her and the HIV didn't matter. And look at her – Jason didn't care and neither does Patrick – Lulu, she's managed to have a career and a baby and fall in love. This is not the end for you."

Lulu's face hardened. "In case you haven't noticed Nik, I'm not Robin – I am not as pretty or as smart as she is – and though you may find this hard to believe, most men out there aren't like you or Patrick."

Nik felt his heart breaking as he watched her leave. Lulu was falling down a rabbit hole and he didn't know how to reach her. He briefly contemplated telling Lucky, Elizabeth and Patrick to rally the troops around her but she had made him promise not to say anything. It had taken so much for her to confide in him and she was just so fragile at the moment; he didn't believe she could deal with a violation of her trust.

xxxxxx

Robin's eyes fluttered open and she looked around the room trying to orient herself. She was greeted by Brenda's smiling face. "Well hey there sleeping beauty"

"Brenda" she mumbled sleepily. She continued to search the room, her eyes darting all over.

"What's up sweets – what are you looking for?"

"Stone was just here a minute ago, do you know where he went?"

Brenda frowned. "Stone? You mean Patrick, right?"

Robin clenched her eyes and put her fist to her head. "These meds are doing a number on my head – yeah, I meant Patrick – do you know where he went?"

She shook her head. "I don't, I'm sorry. Do you want me to have him paged?"

"No that's okay – what brings you by?"

She grinned. "Like I need a reason."

"The look on your face makes me nervous" Robin smiled at her.

"That's because, Robin Scorpio" she jumped out of her chair. "I am here to pump you up."

"What? You need to talk more slowly, I have a brain injury"

Brenda giggled. "I am here to get you all beautified and glorified so that you and I can go check out my godson."

"You think I need to get beautified to see my son?" she asked laughing.

"No but seriously, have you seen your hair?" she teased.

"Helllooo – life threatening car accident."

"Beauty waits for no one."

Robin groaned. "I swear, the Devil Wears Prada was written about you."

"Shut.Up. Do you know how much I wish I was in that story? God – the clothes, the designers – how fab would I be with unlimited access to Jimmy Choo?"

"I thought this was about me"

"Right – sorry I got sidetracked. Seriously, Jimmy Choo – I need to wear a drool cup just thinking about those shoes."

"Back to me?"

"Whoops, right" Brenda lifted a basket and put it on her bed.

"What's that?"

"My magic box. In here, I have everything we need to primp and make you gorgeous. I also have a little something else for you."

"What?" Robin asked suspiciously.

"Oh ye of little faith" she said as she opened the basket and pulled out a small brown paper bag, handing it to Robin.

"What is it?"

"Open it, silly"

Robin opened the bag carefully and let out a small squeal. "A lemon poppyseed muffin? From Kelly's?" Brenda nodded. "I swear Bren, if I didn't love you already, I would totally love you now."

Brenda smiled as she watched her friend attack the muffin with vigour. They were sisters by choice and she had been paralysed by fear when Robin had been hit by the car. That she was talking coherently and that baby Rian was alive made her grateful beyond words. She continued to unpack the basket, laying the contents out on the bedside table.

"I'm afraid to ask what all that is?" Robin said, her eyes growing wider as Brenda took out a seemingly unending supply of beauty products.

"No worries, little sis. I have dry shampoo to fluff up your hair, I have a facial masque and some moisturizer – you're skin is a little flaky. I also have nail polish, exfoliant, toner and tweezers. We'll have you looking like a supermodel in no time!"

"You are fully taking advantage of my immobility, aren't you?"

"Pretty much" she said, walking to the bathroom to wet the facecloth.

Coming back, she gently and lovingly washed Robin's face, taking extra care over the cuts and bruises. Robin sighed and relaxed, fully putting herself into Brenda's care. Brenda then applied the masque to her face and the dry shampoo to her hair. Sitting back down in the chair, she squirted some cream into her hands and proceeded to give her a hand massage.

Robin closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation. "You really are the best friend ever, you know that?"

"Right back at you kid."

Brenda and Robin both looked up as the door to her room was pried open. "Oh, you're up" Anna said, taking in the sight of her daughter's face in a green face masque and some kind of powdery substance in her hair. "Brenda!" she exclaimed.

"Anna!" Brenda grinned. "You're just in time for Robin makeover day."

Anna came fully inside the room, so pleased that her daughter was surrounded by so many people who loved her. "How are you sweetie?" she asked looking at Robin.

"Pampered" she replied stiffly through the masque.

"I'll say" she teased, sitting on the edge of Robin's bed. "This reminds me of that weekend in London where it poured rain."

"Honestly Anna, you're going to have to be more specific – every time we went to visit you in London, it poured rain." Brenda said.

"Still sticking with your brand of humour I see" she said good-naturedly.

"It makes me popular with the Italians" Brenda said proudly.

"Somehow I don't think it's that that makes you popular with the locals" Robin teased. "Have you seen Patrick?" she asked her mother.

She nodded. "I just had coffee with him – charming boy and he's head over heels about you."

"Did you hurt him?" Robin asked warily.

"Not at all, I was fully restrained."

"Why?" Brenda spoke up "Are you not feeling well?"

Anna stuck her tongue out at her. "I'm sure he'll be along any minute now"

Robin's eyes grew wide again. "He can't see me like this"

Anna laughed. "Sweetie, he's seen you in worse shape than this."

"I want him to only see the after" Just then the door started to open. Robin looked at her mother. "Mom, please!"

Anna smiled and jumped from the bed. She pushed Patrick out the door, pulling the door closed behind her. "You don't want to go in there" she said,

"Why?" he asked looking past her, trying to see into the room. "Is something wrong?"

"Not wrong, per se. We're just doing some girly things and we don't want any of your stinky testosterone messing us up."

Patrick chuckled. "In other words, I would be afraid of what's going on in there?"

"Pretty much – why don't you take a walk, a nap, see your son – come back in a few hours and we'll be all ready for you."

"Fine" he grumbled jokingly. "Tell my girl that I love her?"

"Of course" Anna grinned. "Now get!"

xxxxxx

Patrick shook his head and walked back down the hallway. He decided he would walk home and try and come up with some menu ideas. Nathalie and the kids were coming back today and he wanted to cook for them. He was desperate to spend some time with Gracie since the last time they saw each other had ended rather traumatically.

He jammed his hands in his pockets. The air was cool, a sure signal that fall was not far away. This was his favourite time of year in Manhattan and he was discovering he loved it just as much in Port Charles. He had been making plans, before the accident, for he and Robin to go on several picnics taking in the fall colours. There was no chance of that his year but he was excited at the prospect of being able to do it with his girlfriend and his son next year.

He was so lost in thought, he nearly walked by the familiar figure without a second glance but the flash of blonde hair caught the corner of his eye. Looking down at the pier, he saw Lulu as deep in thought as he had been. He had been anxious to get a hold of her since the accident and had only ever got her voicemail. She had not returned a single one of his calls. Seizing the opportunity, he walked down the stairs and sat beside her on the bench.

"You can run but you can't hide" he said.

Lulu didn't hear him at first and jumped when Patrick touched her arm. "Patrick" she said in surprise. Her stomach dropped at the sight of him, she hadn't wanted to see him at all.

"I'm surprised you remember me" he joked. "I left you messages and you never called me back – did you find a cooler person to hang with?"

"Yeah, your father" she shot back.

"Ouch" he covered his heart with his hands. "That hurt, that really hurt." She gave him a half smile. "Lu, are you okay?" he asked. There was something most definitely off about her.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You understand I don't believe you, right?"

"How's Robin?" she asked in an attempt to change the subject.

"Getting stronger every day as is Rian. I'd love for you to come by and see him – and Robin would love to see you."

"Yeah, I'll do that" she said disinterestedly.

Patrick studied her face. She was clearly troubled and distracted. "Earth to Lulu" he waved his hand in front of her.

"Sorry, what?"

"Where is your head at?" he asked with real concern.

She shook her head. "Nowhere." Patrick raised his eyebrows. "I just had a talk with my boyfriend about my…" she paused, she wanted so much to talk to someone, she forgot for a moment who was sitting with her. "er, my exposure to HIV."

Patrick nodded. "I'm sure it wasn't an easy conversation. I mean, you'll have to take extra precautions for the next six months but that time will pass quickly enough. Was he understanding?"

Lulu snorted. "Not exactly."

"What do you mean 'not exactly'?"

"We've decided to end things."

"What?" he said, feeling his rage boil. "Because you were exposed to HIV? Did you explain how low the risk of transmission is? That you're on the PEP protocol and you'll very likely test negative in six months? Did he not think a little inconvenience was worth being with you?"

Lulu got up from the bench. "It's fine Patrick – just leave it alone."

"I won't! That's just ridiculous – how could he treat you that way?"

"He didn't do anything a million other guys wouldn't do."

"Bullshit – Lulu – you've been exposed to HIV and yes there is small risk you could test positive in the next six months but it's so unlikely. He should be standing by you during this."

She shook her head. "He made his choice –it's fine."

"Why are you accepting this? Lulu, he's irrational in his choice – he's uniformed and ignorant. Where is he? I'll talk to him – I can set him straight."

"Just drop it Patrick" she warned.

"I can't Lulu – you are this gorgeous sweet girl who deserves nothing but the best and it's so unacceptable what he's doing."

"It really isn't" she looked over the water, hoping the conversation would come to an end.

Patrick got up from the bench and stood beside her. "Seriously, give me his name and phone number and I'll set him straight."

"No" she said emphatically.

"Why not?"

Lulu continued to stare at the water, not responding. She had the same thought as she did when she looked out the window from Wyndermere – what would it be like to just be swallowed whole by the water.

"Lulu – talk to me – why not?"

She thought about how much relief the water could bring her.

"Lulu?"

"Because I'm HIV+"


	94. Chapter 94

Chapter 94

Patrick stared at Lulu slackjawed. "Wha-wha-what did you say?" He was sure he heard incorrectly, it just wasn't possible that those words had come from her mouth.

Lulu exhaled and looked up at the sky. Every time she said it, it became that much more real. "I tested positive for HIV."

Patrick's knees began to tremble. "That-that's not possible" He reached for her hand and held it in his own. "Lulu - tell me it's a mistake, it's not possible."

Lulu pulled her hand back. "It is - I am. I didn't mean to tell you and I'm begging you not to tell Robin."

"Why wouldn't you tell me?" he asked in confusion.

"I just didn't...I don't want to talk about it." Lulu bit her lip. "I gotta go" she said, racing up the stairs from the pier towards Jake's.

Patrick watched her leave, completely stunned. A short two minutes after she took off, Patrick snapped to attention and took off after her. It wasn't difficult to catch up with her. After running from the docks, she found the nearest corner to hide around and had slid to the ground, crying. Patrick heard her before he saw her. He stopped short of the corner and took a deep breath. He felt equal parts of guilt and apprehension - guilty for not even having considered the possibility that she could test positive and apprehension because he already felt like he was on emotional overload and didn't know how much good he would be for her. But this was the woman who had saved his girlfriend's life and he needed to find a way to help her. He took another breath and turned the corner. Lulu had her knees pulled to her chest and her hair covered much of her face. She rested her head on her knees and as her body shook with sobs. Patrick slid down beside her, pulling his knees into the same position.

"Is Alan sure?" he asked quietly.

She nodded. "He said he ran it twice."

He licked his lips, finding his mouth suddenly dry. "When-when did you find out?"

Lulu wiped at her eyes with the palms of her hands. "The day after the accident."

Patrick banged the back of his head against the brick wall. "Was anyone with you?"

Lulu shrugged. "Alan."

"I don't understand why you wouldn't tell me."

"Why should I?"

Patrick turned to face her. "Lulu" he said softly. "You saved Robin's life - at great risk to your own."

"Don't say that - don't talk about that." her voice was rising.

"Why not?" Patrick was geniunely puzzled by Lulu's reaction.

"Because it doesn't matter" she pulled at her shoelace."None of it matters" she said quietly.

Patrick stilled her fidgeting hand by closing his over it. "Of course it matters."

She shook her head. "It doesn't - it changes nothing." She tried to pull her hand away from him but he kept hold of it, forcing her to look at him. "What do you want from me Patrick?"

"I want to help you" he said quietly.

"There is no help" she said resignedly, finally managing to pull her hand away. "Can't you see that? There's NOTHING you can do for me. Can you take this away? Can you make me HIV-?" Patrick shook his head sadly. "Can you make Darren want to take me back? Can you guarantee that someone, anyone will love me despite having this fucking disease? Can you make me stop throwing up every hour on the hour because of the pills?"

"No."

"Then you can't help me."

Patrick's eyes began to well with tears. In that moment, in that one instant, he finally saw what Robin had gone through when she was diagnosed. The fear, the anger, the uncertainty about any kind of future. Futures seemed guaranteed when you're 17 and mortality impossible to conceive of. Patrick knew instinctively that how people reacted and treated Lulu in the early days of her diagnosis would forever colour the decsions she made down the road.

"Do you have any questions about your meds?" he offered.

"Why, are you suddenly an HIV specialist?" she shot back.

"You're pretty angry" he stated simply. "But I guess that's to be expected."

"Thanks for your permission" she said sardonically.

"Lulu..."

"I know, I'm being a bitch. You shouldn't have followed me."

"Why? Do you think I'm going to let you go through this on your own? Do you think Robin will?"

"Robin is not to know" she said angrily.

"Why not? Don't you think she can help you?"

Lulu jumped up from the ground. "How? How can she help me? By showing me there's hope, that I too can go on to have a career, fall in love and have a family? I'm NOT ROBIN! I didn't nurse my dying boyfriend through his finaly days, I'm not noble like her, I'm not strong like she is - She can't help me and neither can you."

She started to make a run for it but Patrick was too fast for her. Standing up, he grabbed her arm and pulled her to him. She resisted him, forcing him to step closer to her. He put his arms around her as she continued to stand rigidly in spot.

"I'm so sorry" he said, trying to ease the tension from her body. "I can only imagine how scary this is for you."

"That's where you're wrong" she said, struggling out of his embrace. "It's not scary at all, if anything it clarifies a whole lot - no man is ever going to touch me again and I now know how I'm going to die."

Patrick closed his eyes briefly. "Lulu, that's not true. I fell in love with Robin but even long before that, I wanted her, I pursued her relentlessly."

"Yeah, well the world is not full of Patrick Drakes and if you talk to Robin, she was a long time between boyfriends so don't try and tell me how there's tons of understanding guys out there and I just have to find the right one because it's just one more lie."

"Lie? What do you mean?"

"Life is full of lies. Like the one they tell you that if you do a good thing you'll be rewarded."

He sucked in a breath. "Lulu do you regret help-"

"No" she cut him off. "I don't and I'd do it again but that's the lie right? I did a good thing and I'm being punished - I did a good thing and I'm going to die because of it."

"HIV is no longer a death sentence."

"Spare me the quoting of pamphlets Patrick, I don't need it."

He grabbed her hand. "You matter Lulu - a lot - you're a part of our lives and I want to help you any way I can but you have to let me"

"You have to leave me alone - just forget you ever knew me" she said, pulling back her hand and running off. This time she kept running until she disappeared from his sight.

His legs began to shake again as he sank to the ground. He leaned back against the wall and looked up at the sky. "Are we done yet?" he asked out loud. "Are we done fucking with my life or do you have a few more surprises in store?" He exhaled. "Oh Lulu"


	95. Chapter 95

Chapter 95

Patrick rubbed his hands on his jeans and sighed. He wasn't sure he was strong enough to get off the ground. Every day felt like it was two and there were landmines around every corner. He couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to come. For him, it all came back to Andrew's death. It felt like a part of him had died that day and his life had been in free fall ever since. It was marked by good - amazing - moments but they just seemed to be interludes between disasters. Finally finding the strength in his legs, he got to his feet unsteadily. He didn't know who Lulu had told or how much but he needed to see Nikolas and find out what he knew.

Nikolas was surprised to find Patrick pacing in his drawing room after Alfred had announced him. "Patrick" he said, extending his hand "This is a surprise."

Patrick shook Nikolas' hand, struck once again at how formal he was. He allowed himself a small smile at the thought that Nikolas was exactly the type of guy he and Andrew would have beaten up in school. "I just came from seeing Lulu" he said quickly.

"Ah" he said. "Please have a seat."

"So you know?" Patrick asked.

Nikolas nodded. "I found out yesterday. Lulu has been ducking my calls for the last few days."

"Mine too. She's in a bad way Nik, I'm worried about her."

Nikolas grimaced. "Lulu has had an unconventional upbringing to say the least and has long felt like she wasn't loved, this has only complicated things."

"I want to help her but I don't seem to be able to reach her" he said in frustration.

"Join the club."

"What can I do?"

Nikolas smiled gratefully. "Not that I don't appreciate your offer but Patrick, I suspect that your hands are full with Robin and your son."

Patrick chewed on his bottom lip. "But Nik, she saved Robin - and I just want to make her..."

"Feel better? Accept the diagnosis? I suspect that isn't anything any of us can do, that Lulu will get there in her own time. Robin did."

"Did you...did you know Robin when she was diagnosed?" he asked suddenly curious.

Nikolas smiled. "No.I met her after, when she was with Jason."

"Was she angry?"

Nikolas looked at Patrick carefully. The doctor had certainly risen significantly in his estimation. He was well aware of his playboy reputation and had been disappointed that Robin had chosen to engage in a relationship with him but he was certainly proving himself to be a man of greater depth than he orginally suspected. "She wasn't angry, she was coming to terms with her disease and was surrounded by a lot of support."

"Lulu isn't?"

"Not in the same way. She has me, she has Lucky but she still hurts every day from Laura's breakdown and Luke's constant need to be on the run."

Patrick nodded. "Missing parents can affect so many things" he said thoughtfully.

Alfred interrupted them. "Excuse me Mr. Cassadine, you have a phone call."

"Thank you Alfred" he turned to Patrick "Will you excuse me for a moment?" Nikolas walked over to the desk in the drawing room and picked up the phone. "Good afternoon, Nikolas speaking."

"Good afternoon Nikolas speaking, it's Nathalie Walker"

He couldn't keep the smile from his face, a reaction that did not go unnoticed by Patrick. "How was your flight?"

"It was lovely. The colouring books and cookies were a nice touch." Nathalie had only just arrived at her larger suite at the hotel and inexplicably felt the need to call Nikolas. She told herself it was because she needed to thank him but there was a part of her that just wanted to hear his voice. "How is Lulu?"

"Not that great but I'm trying to stay focused on what's right in front of her and not borrow trouble from the future."

"Sounds like a reasonable plan."

"Would you like to come for dinner?" he asked suddenly, surprising himself.

"Oh - ah..." Nathalie was momentarily stunned. She hadn't been asked for dinner by anyone in quite some time and was shocked that anyone would want her company. "Well, I have the kids..."

"So bring them" he suggested.

"Gracie has been clamoring to see Patrick and I promised her she could see him as soon as we got here." Nathalie brought her hand to her forehead, unable to figure out why she kept coming up with excuses to get out of dinner.

"That actually works out quite well - Patrick is here. Come over with the kids, I'll have Alfred prepare some tea, juice and snacks and we can discuss dinner after."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

"Okay then" surprised to find herself blushing. "We'll be there shortly."

"See you soon." Nikolas hung up with phone.

Patrick furrowed his brow. "Was that Nathalie?" his curiousity suddenly peaked by how familiar he was with her.

"Uh, yes -I gave her the use of my jet to go to Washington and she said she was on her way to see you but since you're already here" he realized he was stammering. "It's not a problem that I suggested she come here, is it?"

Patrick gave him a half smile. "Not at all." He decided to file this odd little exchange away for future reference.

"How is Rian?" Nikolas asked, desperate to change the subject.

It was Patrick's turn to smile unvoluntarily. "He's hanging tough - there's a challenge with his heart but every day that he's alive is a miracle."

"He comes from good stock" Nikolas said "I'm sure he'll come through it beautifully." Nikolas thought back to his own son who was born in the middle of the virus outbreak and had to fight from his first breath. A fat, healthy baby now, it would be impossible to tell how close he had come to death in the early days of his life.

"Thanks" Patrick too thought back to the first days of Spencer's life and how Nikolas, believing the child was Jax's, struggled. Patrick had been unkind to him despite Robin's warning at the time that a little kindness went a long way. He was grateful that Nikolas didn't appear to hold a grudge.

"Shall we move into the main room? I'll have Alfred get us some food."

Patrick followed him out, nearly tripping over the suit of armor in the corner. Wyndermere was unlike any house he had ever been in. Robin had told him about Nikolas' attraction to her when they were younger and looking around he had great difficulty picturing his free spirited, sometimes impulsive girlfriend spending any time in the suffocating confines of the wannabe castle.

They hadn't been in the room long when Alfred announced Nathalie, Grace and Oliver. Patrick thought Nathalie looked more relaxed than he had seen her in some time. Dressed in a long denim skirt and a red scoop neck top, her hair, normally always up, hung loose down her back. She held Oliver in one hand and Grace had a tight grip of her other hand. She grinned at Patrick and gave Nikolas a shy smile.

"I hope you don't regret your offer."

"Not at all." Nikolas said reassuringly.

Grace snuggled in tightly to Nathalie's skirt, feeling overwhelmed until her eyes fell on Patrick. Her blue eyes grew wider and wider and her mouth fell open. "Patty?" she asked unsure, looking up at Nathalie.

"Yes monkey girl, it's Patty"

Grace dropped her mother's hand like a hot potato and bounded over to him. "Patty, patty, patty, patty" she screamed, launching herself into his arms. Patrick scooped her up and held her tightly to him. The last time he had held her had been difficult and traumatic for both of them and he was just so happy to have her around him again. She covered his face in kisses. "I missed you Patty."

"I missed you too Gracie-lou"

"How much do you love me?" she asked. Nikolas had quietly walked over to Nathalie and escorted her to a chair, giving her a pillow to put under her arm while she held Oliver. He winked at her before returning to his seat.

"I love you more than the ocean" he said. "How much do you love me?"

"More than space!" she said proudly.

Patrick looked at Nathalie. "Space?"

"She's a little fascinated with astronauts at the moment...she.."

"My daddy is an astronaut" Grace announced.

Both Patrick and Nikolas noticed Nathalie's pained expression. "Gracie, hon, we've talked about this - daddy is not an astronaut."

"But he's in space"

"No sweetie, he's in heaven."

"No! He's on a spaceship and he'll come back when his trip is over!"

Nathalie opened her mouth to reply but Patrick held up his hand. "Gracie-lou" he said.

"Yeah, Patty-lou?"

Patrick rolled his eyes as both Nikolas and Nathalie stifled their laughter. "Can you say hello to my friend Nikolas?" he said, pointing to Nik in the chair.

She narrowed her eyes. "Are you really Patty's friend?"

"Yes I am" Nikolas said, amused by her directness.

"Okay, I'm Grace and I'm four!"

"It's nice to meet you Grace - would you like to come with me to the kitchen and we can find where the cookies are?"

She looked at her mother who nodded. "Grace, Nikolas is the nice man who let us use his airplane, so it's okay to go with him for cookies."

Grace scrambled down from Patrick's lap but stopped to look at him. "Will you be here when I get back?" she asked.

Patrick smiled at her lovingly. "Yes baby, I'll be here."

"You're not going to space?"

He shook his head. "No sweets, I'm more of on the ground type of guy. Go see what kind of cookies Nik has, I bet they're yummy!" He waited until she had left the room with Nikolas before turning back to Nathalie. "Astronaut?"

She nodded. "It's her new thing - she thinks he's coming back."

"Oh Nat, I'm sorry -that must be hard for you."

She shrugged. "Nothing about this is easy but I fight one battle at a time. Listen P, there's something I need to tell you" she said changing the subject quickly. "I couldn't tell you earlier until she told her family but I think you should know this. I struggled and I think now I have some idea of what Andrew's suic...letter did to you."

"What is it?" the concern was evident in his voice.

She got up from her chair and moved next to him on the couch. He took Oliver from her arms. There was something comforting about holding a baby but it also made him ache that he couldn't hold his own. "It's about Lulu..." she began.

He held up his hand."She told me tonight - she told you?"

"It kind of came out - I found her one night and she was in a bad way."

"And you know a little something about that" he said quietly.

"And I know a little something about that."

Patrick leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks"

"For what?"

"For all of it - for being here, for bringing the kids, for getting involved when you don't have to."

She smiled shyly. "It's the least I can do."

Grace came bounding into the room ahead of Nikolas with a cookie in each hand. "His kitchen is so big!!" she announced. "And he has two of them!"

"Two kitchens?" Nathalie asked. "I'm glad I don't have to clean that"

"That's what the staff is for" he said sheepishly. "Speaking of staff - my chef would like to know if you will be joining us for dinner?"

Patrick looked at his watch. Because of the drama with Lulu he had been gone from the hospital most of the day and felt a sudden urge to see Robin and Rian. "I need to get back to Robin."

"Well, we should go back to the hotel..."

"No, Nat- why don't you stay here with Nik - I'm sure his chef is far better than the one at the Metrocourt."

"I can vouch for that - he has two Michelin stars" Nikolas chimed in, grateful from the assist from Patrick.

"Are you sure it's not a problem?" she asked Nikolas.

"It's not - besides Spencer will be up soon and I'd like you to meet him."

"Okay" she agreed. "We'd be happy to stay."

Patrick picked up Grace and kissed her while pulling on her ponytail. "I'll see you soon pumpkin."

"I love you Patty"  
"Me too baby." he kissed her again before putting her back down. "Nik - don't hesitate to call..."

Nikolas nodded. "Thanks Patrick."

Bending down he kissed Nathalie on the cheek. "Have fun - the girls at the hospital think he's pretty cute" he whispered causing her to blush furiously.

xxxxxxx

Patrick gently pushed open the door to Robin's room and was surprised to find her sitting up. "Hey"

She smiled back at him. "There you are."

"Here I am? Hello - I was booted out of your room so I wouldn't stink it up with my testosterone." he teased, closing the door behind him. "You look absolutely stunning" he said, bending down to kiss her softly on the lips. Robin grabbed hold of his shirt and slowly pulled on his lips with hers. "What's that for?" he asked when they finally broke apart.

"I missed you" she said quietly.

"And I miss you."

She pulled the covers back. "Get in."

He raised his eyebrows as he kicked off his shoes. "You're awfully saucy for someone who is only days removed from the ICU."

"I have needs" she teased.

"You have needs?" he crawled into bed beside her bringing her head to his chest, stroking her hair.

"I do, ever since you told me that you dreamed about me...I've been thinking about you." She ran her hands down his chest, undoing the buttons of his shirt. He clamped his hand over hers.

"Robin, we can't have sex, it's too soon."

"I know" she slid her hand inside his chest and heard his breath hitch as she slowly traced her fingers over him. "But we can touch each other."

He bit his bottom lip. "Robin"

"Don't you want to touch me?" she asked putting his hand over her breast. "My mom and Brenda made me all pretty"

He groaned as her nippled hardened under his stilled hand. "You were already all pretty. Did you take them to meet Rian?" he asked trying to ignore the weight of her breast in his hand.

She shook her head, placing a small kiss on his exposed skin. "I feel asleep on them but they promised to come back tomorrow."

"Obviously you need your rest" he said, silently cursing how much he was enjoying the feel of her breath on her skin.

"But I've rested and now I need you to touch me" she pushed herself further into his hand. "And Brenda left us a gift"

"Brenda?" he gave in and began to slowly knead her breasts through her tank top. "I'm afraid to ask"

"It's in the drawer" she said as she slowly undid his belt with one hand.

Reaching over, Patrick pulled open the drawer and put his hand inside. His eyes grew wide as he picked up what was inside. "A vibrator?" he asked holding it up. "She gave you a vibrator in the hospital?"

Robin smiled. "We checked with Noah and he said it's okay so long as we don't engage in active intercourse."

Patrick clenched his eyes shut. "You checked with my father??"

"I didn't but Brenda did."

Patrick looked at her before setting it down on the bedside table. "So I can kiss you?" he asked, sliding down the bed, placing his mouth hotly over her neck.

"Mmm-hmm" she moaned. "'And I can hold you" she said, sliding her hand inside his pants, taking hold of his growing erection.

"God Robin - we can't.." he moved his hand to her other breast, having had a taste of her he was simply unable to stop.

"Yes we can - your dad said so"

"Stop talking about my dad" he growled, carefully pulling her shorts over her bandaged legs. He grazed his hand over her centre and was shocked at how wet she was. "Robin" he said huskily.

"I was dreaming of you dreaming of me" she smiled, parting her legs slightly.

He gently kissed her torso, moving his way up to her breasts. He circled her nipple with his tongue, while moving his thumb in circles over her clit. Robin's breathing became slightly shallow and she let out a gasp as he slipped a finger inside her. He bit playfully at her other nipple and her hands flew to his hair. Gently pushing on his head, she encouraged him to take more of her in his mouth. He lashed her nipple before before taking it in his mouth and suckling it.

"Fuck" she hissed.

He put a second finger inside her and slowly, agonizingly pumped them inside her. She moved her hips as best she could against his hand. Lifiting his head from her breast, he moved to her mouth, kissing her with equal parts passion and tenderness. Afraid of getting too lost in the moment, he pushed her hands away from his chest. "You can play with me later." He nipped at her lips while his hand continued his ministrations. "You're so wet" he said, dragging his tongue along her collarbone.

"More" she pleaded.

Patrick stopped and never taking his eyes off of her, reached for the vibrator on the table. He flipped the switch and a low hum filled the room. He first ran it along her breasts and over her nipples causing her to jerk slightly. "It's cold" she said, taking it from his hands.

"That's my toy" he said, trying to take it back.

"I just want to warm it up" she said, turning the switch off and putting it in her mouth. Patrick thought he was going to orgasm right there. She pulled it out and handed it back to him. He ran it along her body as he made his way to her apex. He teasingly grazed it over her centre, watching her body tense and relax in response. He applied it lightly to her clit eliciting the sexiest moan he had ever heard. He ran it along the outside before sliding it inside . He felt her tighten around it and ignored her pleas to go faster.

"You are so sexy Robin, so hot." He ran it over her clit again, applying more pressure and Robin's legs spread even further apart. He put it back inside her and kissed his way down her body. He ran his thumb over her sex while continuing to pump her with the vibrator. "Ride it for me baby" The toy made her entire body hum and buzz and felt her orgasm building. Her hips undulated against his touch as she felt herself teteering on the brink. Her eyes closed and her body stilled before her entire body began to shake. Patrick get up the pressure until he was sure she had nothing left.

Removing the vibrator, he left a trail of kisses on her skin as he made his way back to her mouth. Robin's mouth parted and she thrust her tongue into his mouth, mimicking the moves of his fingers on her body. Patrick was suddenly aware of his painful, throbbing erection. Robin lowered her hand inside his pants and began to stroke him.

"Babe, you don't have to.." he said, pulling away from her kiss.

"Shhh" she said.

Patrick pushed his pants over his hips, freeing his erection. His shaft was slick with his own reaction to her touch. He pushed himself further into her hands. She covered his chest in staccato kisses, she tightened her grip around him and stroked him quickly, twisting her hands in a circular motion as she worked her way up and down. Patrick shuddered at the feel of her tiny hands on him, it pushed him over the edge every time. "Robin, I'm..." he licked his lips, feeling his stomach coil. She brushed her thumb over his sensitive head, sending him reeling. His body began to shake as he came in her hands.  
He flopped his head back against the pillow panting.

"Remind me to thank Brenda for her gift" he said, finding his voice.

She pulled the blankets over them. "I think this should be a regular part of my therapy."


	96. Chapter 96

Chapter 96

Patrick pulled her closer to him, kissing the top of her head. "I love you so much" he whispered.

She pressed her lips against his chest. "Me too."

"Are you okay? You don't feel weak, do you have any pain?" he asked with concern.

"I'm fine" she reassured him. "Really - the only thing I felt was an overwhelming need to be with you, have you hold me. That's better than any meds they can give me here."

Closing his eyes, Patrick stroked her hair, letting the silky strands fall through his fingers. Ever since her accident he felt nearly crippled by anxiety but there was one place where all the stress left him and he felt that everything would be fine and he was there right now. Feeling her chest rise and fall reassured him, hearing her heart beat against his, strengthened him. He had yet to fully process how close he had come to really losing her, every time he allowed his mind to go there his chest would tighten and his heart would ache. Somewhere in the madness he came to understand that Robin would be the only woman he would ever love. Regardless of what happened between them as a couple, she was simply the one.

"I know this sounds awfully girly but what are you are you thinking about?" she asked, breaking the quiet.

"Avocados" he said.

"Avocados?" she repeated.

"Yeah - do you have any idea how hard it is to get them perfectly ripe? Cut into them too soon and they're woody and tasteless, wait too long and they get mushy and bland."

Robin giggled. "Are you syphoning off my i.v. for your own use?"

He kissed the top of her head again. "Maybe. How tired are you?"

"Why? Are you going back into the drawer?" she teased.

"No, you naughty minx" he squeezed her shoulder. "I thought, if you were up for it, we could go see Rian."

She raised her head. "I'd like that."

Patrick gently moved her to the side and got up from the bed. He rebuttoned his shirt and tucked it into his pants, doing up his belt. He had had sex in many places in this hospital and the one he worked at in Manhattan but this definitely was a new experience. Walking to the closet, he took out her robe and passed it to her. Robin put her arms through and then waited as Patrick lifted her from the bed and placed her in the wheelchair. She smiled as he bent down, adjusting the foot plates of the chair so as to keep her legs elevated.

"Why are you smiling?" he asked.

"I've just never had someone take care of me like you do - it's nice."

He grinned at her as he stood up. "I actually think the miracle here is that you are letting me take care of you."

"What do you mean?" she asked in mock indignation.

"Please." He pushed her chair through the door. "You are the single most independent person I know who would rather have your limbs amputated rather than let someone actually take care of you. You are the living embodiement of Miss Independent."

Robin began to laugh. "Are you comparing me to a Kelly Clarkson song?"

"Why? Is that a bad thing?"

"Not at all, I'm just kind of in shock that you even know a Kelly Clarkson song - is this Lulu's doing?"

He was suddenly grateful that Robin couldn't see his face. The mere mention of Lulu's name brought him back to their conversation on the pier. There would come a time where Robin would have to know but now wasn't it.

"I'm not sure that Kelly Clarkson meets her definition of cool" he finally replied.

"Where is Lulu? I haven't seen her since the accident?"

"She's been busy - she's moved in with Nik. Speaking of Nik" he said, desperately trying to change the topic. "I think he's got a crush on Nathalie."

"Really?" she squealed. "Does she like him?"

"Should I pass him a note in study hall and ask him?" he groused, jokingly.

"This is important stuff Patrick - Nikolas hasn't been interested in anyone since Courtney's death."

"Well I think it's a little early for Nathalie to be getting into anything serious." The protection in his voice did not go unnoticed by Robin.

"Why do you think he has a crush?"

"He loaned her his plane to go home to DC to get the kids - not to mention they seem to be circling each other with all the smoothness of two 12 year olds at their first school dance."

Robin clapped her hands together. "This could be fun!"

"Easy there matchmaker." Patrick opened the door to the NICU. "Well, would you look at that."

Robin and Patrick looked over to Rian's incubator and saw Noah and Robert both cooing over their grandson. Robin shook her head as Patrick pushed her closer. "If only I had a camera" she teased.

Noah and Robert both looked up in surprise and pulled their hands from the incubator like children caught with their hands in the cookie jar. "Hello sweetheart" Robert said, walking towards her and kissing her cheek. "You're looking well."

"For a girl with two bum legs and a brain that's been operated on?" she squeezed his hand.

"Well if I take those things into consideration, you look fantastic." He smiled warmly. "I was just teaching Noah the finer points of baby wrangling."

Noah made a face. "Robert what you know about baby wrangling could fit in the palm of my hand."

"Oh and I suppose you're an expert?" Patrick asked, entering the fray.

"You think you were born this old?" he shot at his son, smiling.

"Touche" Patrick smiled. "How is my son?"

"Perfect" Robert and Noah replied at the same time.

"Clearly you two are objective" Robin teased. Patrick brought her to Rian and she hastily put her hands inside, touching him. "Hi there little man - it's your momma. How are you doing - you look bigger every time I see you." Patrick smiled as he watched Robin bond with their son. She rubbed his tiny hands between her fingers. "Did you miss me? I'm never far away sweetie."

Noah put his hand on Patrick's shoulder. "I need to talk to you and Robert for a minute." Patrick looked at him in surprise, shrugged and followed him over to a quiet corner of the unit.

"What's up?" Patrick asked. "Is it Robin?"

Noah pursed his lips together. "Well, in a way"

"Is it her health?" Robert chimed in.

Noah reached into his lab coat pocket and unfolded the front page of the New York Times. "I thought this was a little disconcerting."

The headline below the fold read:

**Senate hopeful missing for three days**

"The last time he was seen was on his way to the hospital and now he seems to have disappeared." Noah added.

"I hope he's dead" Patrick said evenly.

"Patrick" Noah admonished.

"I'm serious, he nearly killed my girlfriend and my child - death is almost too good for him."

"Robert" Noah turned to him "Can you please explain the seriousness of the situation to my son?"

Robert shrugged. "Well, we will eventually be under suspicion but in the meantime, I'm with Patrick - I hope he's dead. But we should keep it from Robin, she doesn't need that kind of stress."

"I agree" Patrick said.

Noah refolded the paper and put it back in his pocket. "I just need to ask - did either of you have anything to do with this?"

Patrick made a face. "Like I would know how."

"I would know how" Robert said, easily "but why get my hands dirty."

Robin continued to coo at her son, revelling in his tiny grip around her finger. "You are such a beautiful boy" she said to him. "And mommy loves you so much."

"Robin" came the soft voice.

She looked up at the sound and was startled by the sight. There, on the other side of the incubator, smiling at her was Stone. "What are you doing here?" she asked quietly.

"I've missed you" he said simply.

"You shouldn't be here Stone."

"Is this your baby?" he asked, nodding at Rian.

"Rian" she beamed. "His name is Rian."

"He's beautiful."

She couldn't take her eyes from him. "Are you okay?"

"I'm happy" he nodded. "It doesn't hurt anymore."

"That's good."

"I still love you - do you still love me?" he asked.

"Always" she said hoarsely.

"How's our little man doing?" Patrick said, coming up behind her, putting his hand on her shoulder.

Robin jumped under his touch. "He's doing just fine" she said.

Looking back across the incubator, she felt a pang of disappointment that Stone was gone.

"We should get you back to the room."

"But you haven't had a chance to visit"

He kissed her cheek. "I see him three times a day, every day. I just don't want you to get too tired out."

She nodded. "Okay. Bye baby boy - mommy loves you."

xxxxx

"Gracie I am not going to tell you one more time, sit down and be quiet - we do not climb on the dinner table" Nathalie said firmly. Grace looked at her mother and understood by her tone that she wasn't kidding. She sat down on the chair and crossing her arms over her chest began to pout. "I'm so sorry" she said to Nikolas. "She really hasn't been raised in a barn."

Nikolas laughed lightly. "It's fine, really. It's great to have some life in this old place."

"Do you like it here?" Nathalie asked curiously.

He nodded. "I do. It's home. I spent a number of years in Europe and came here when I was a teenager. It had never been the intention to stay but once I connected with my brother and my sister, how could I leave?"

"And now you have a child of your own" she smiled at him.

"It's a little overwhelming."

"I could tell you it gets easier but that would be a lie" she teased.

"I think I would prefer the lie" he laughed.  
"But it's worth it" she added.

He nodded. "Children have a way of pulling you from your misery don't they? After my fiancee died, I didn't think I could go on but just being near him made everything easier."

Nathalie agreed thoughtfully. "After Andrew died, I remember telling Patrick that the only reason I kept putting one foot in front of the other was because I had two people depending on me."

They had been having a very pleasant dinner. Nikolas had brought Spencer down after he woke so that Nathalie could meet him. Grace had even been quite taken with the baby. He and Oliver were very close in age. Conversation flowed easily between the two. He had told her about Courtney and how her death had rocked him. He omitted the paternity debacle as he felt it was unnecessary. Nathalie was beginning to feel a certain bond with him as he discussed his fiancee. They were both dealing with grief and children and were sharing some of their experiences. She had been close to telling him that Andrew's death was really a suicide but the word would barely pass her lips on the best of days and she was suddenly aware the she didn't want to be cast as some tragic figure.

"So you've known Patrick for a long time?"

"Yes - he used to joke that I was his competition where Drew was concerned."

"Was he always a..."

"Womanizer?" she offered. "Yes."

"It was rude of me to ask that but Robin has been my friend for a long time and I feel protective towards her."

Nathalie smiled. "And she is lucky to have you. Patrick has changed enormously since he met Robin - he's committed to her fully, I can guarantee that."

"Good" He took a drink of his wine. "I haven't had an opportunity to thank you for your intervention with Lulu - I am extremely grateful."

She put her hand up. "No thanks needed. I like Lulu a lot and I just happened to come upon her when she needed to talk to someone."

"Don't diminish what you've done. I suspect the night I met you both on the docks she wasn't really coming here but was looking for the first bus out of town."

"Why would you say that?"

"It's part of her family's genetics - running."

She smiled kindly. "Well she opted for the saftey of her big brother which says a lot about you."

Nikolas was suprised to find himself blushing slightly at her compliment. "Thank you."

Nathalie looked over at her daughter who had put her head on the table and was dozing. "I think I need to get her home."

"I'll have my driver meet you at the other side of the launch."

"That's not necessary Nikolas, we can take a taxi."

"I insist. What's the point of having staff if you can't use them?"

"Thank you" She said, getting up from her chair. She picked Grace up in her arms. "Come on Gracie, it's time to go home."

The young girl rubbed the sleep from her eyes and struggled to get down from her mother's arms. "I can walk" she whined.

"Then walk."

Nikolas escorted them to the sitting room. Both Spencer and Oliver were asleep in their car seats. "Ah the good old days when you could sleep anywhere and people would carry you anywhere you wanted to go."

"Isn't that what staff is for?" she teased.

Nikolas chuckled. "You catch on quickly."

"I'm not just a pretty face" she said lightly, picking up Oliver's seat. "Grace, please thank Nikolas for dinner and the cookies."

"Thank you" she said shyly.

Nikolas bent down to eye level with her. "You're very welcome Grace, I hope to see you again." He walked them to the door.

Nathalie turned to him before leaving. "Thank you for dinner, the plane ride - all of it. I had a very nice time."

"Me too" he said quietly. Placing his hand on her forearm, he kissed her on each cheek. "I hope we can do this again some time."

"I'd like that" she said, feeling her chest tightening slightly.

She smiled as she took her brood out the door and down to the launch. Once on the boat, she touched her hand to her cheek where he had kissed her. She couldn't quite understand why the thought of his chaste kisses made her stomach flip-flop.


	97. Chapter 97

Chapter 97

"So how was dinner with the dark Prince?" Patrick asked as he opened the door to Nathalie and the kids.

"Dark Prince?" she asked.

"He didn't tell you he's descended from Martians or Russian royalty or something?" He took Oliver from her arms.

Nathalie laughed, closing the door behind her. "Jealous much?"

"Of him? Never."

"Okay, P - whatever you say" she teased.

Grace walked over to Patrick and hit him on the leg. "Put him down!!" she ordered.

Horrified, Nathalie grabbed her by the arm. "Grace Louise Walker - we do NOT hit people. You apologize to Patrick RIGHT NOW!"

Her face crumpled and she began to cry. "But but, I want him to pick ME up - he doesn't need to hold stupid Oliver."

Nathalie bent down so that she was at eye level with her. "Gracie, Oliver is Patrick's friend too - he loves you both and you have to share him."

"NO!!" she stamped her foot. "Patty is MINE - I don't want to share him."

Nathalie's entire body tensed. Every day was a struggle for her trying to manage on her what she used to share with another person. Added to that, she was still reeling with grief over Andrew's death. She was so focused on making everything alright for her children that she spent little time on herself. Patrick's current crisis provided her with yet another reason to avoid dealing with her own issues. Patrick noticed the change in Nathalie's body and put his hand on her before she had a chance to speak.

"Gracie-lou, your mom and I are going to have some coffee and a chat. Why don't you watch your Lilo and Stitch video and then when you're done, you and I can go for an ice cream cone in the park."

The young girl stopped crying. "Without Oliver?" she asked timidly.

"Without Oliver" he confirmed.

"Okay" she scampered to the television room.

Nathalie let out a deep sigh. "You shouldn't reward her like that" she said as she stood up and followed him to the kitchen.

"It's not a reward - she's just looking to hold on to what she knows and I'm something she knows. It will give her and I chance to be alone and I can have a chat with her."

She sank into the chair, taking Oliver back from him. "I swear P, I'm at my wits' end some days."

"You're dealing with a lot Nat, cut yourself some slack." He placed a cup of coffee in front of her. "So dinner was fun?"

"That's twice you've asked - is there something you're trying to be subtle about asking but failing miserably?"

"Do you like him?"

She looked at him in surprise. "He's very nice Patrick but I don't like him, like him if that's what you're asking. I can't imagine liking anyone or dating at all."

Patrick gave her a warm smile. "This will be the only time I'll say this but you could do worse than spending time with Nikolas. Actually - he would be a really good match for you."

She smiled back shyly. "I know but I'm still trying to understand how after promising to love someone forever, forever ended so soon." She shook her head. "Anyway, enough about me - how are Robin and Rian?"

"They're great. We had some good moments in the NICU last night and Robin is getting stronger every day. I'm hoping she'll be able to come home in a week or so."

"I'm not sure I've said it lately but you're amazing - I admire how you're handling all this. I know deep down you're really scared but you're not running and I'm impressed."

He gave her a half smile. "If I run, I lose everything." He drained his coffee. "Why don't you and Oliver hang out here, crash on the couch or whatever and Gracie and I will head out."

"You don't have to..." she began to protest.

"You're alone with them both all the time Nat - let me do this for you." She nodded. "Gracie-lou - it's ice cream time!"

"Coming coming coming" she yelled running to him. "Let's go" she pulled on his hand.

"Don't you want to say goodbye to your mom?" he asked.

"Bye" she waved, pulling him down the hall. Patrick laughed, winking at Nathalie as they headed outside.

xxxxxxx

Grace insisted on sitting in Patrick's lap while eating her ice cream. He kept a napkin at the ready to mop up the overflow. "So sweetie, why do give your mom such a hard time?"

"Cause she's stupid" she said, licking at her treat.

"She's stupid?"

"She won't bring daddy back."

Patrick's heart sank. "We talked about this remember, daddy's gone to heaven and he can't come back."

"She could bring him back if she wanted to."

"Why do you say that pumpkin?"

"'Cause she can do anything." She licked simply at her ice cream.

"Your mom is pretty special but Grace, sweetheart, that's just not something she can do.She misses your daddy too you know."

"I want him to come home" she said, snuggling into him.

He closed his arms around her. He had always been protective of Grace. He had been the first to see her as she entered the world head first and he had fallen instantly in love with her. He had long thought he would never have children and came to consider both her and Oliver his children by extension. He kissed the side of her head.

"I know you do - me too."

Her tiny body relaxed in his arms and Patrick felt wistful, anxious to be able to sit in the park, eating ice cream with his son. He jerked in surprise when Gracie jumped from his lap and started to run.

"Lulu! Lulu!" she said running after the blonde teenager. Lulu turned around and was so lost in thought, she didn't recognize Grace at first. Realizing who she was, she managed a smile. "Hi Gracie - are you here with your mom?" she asked looking around the park for a sign of Nathalie.

"No - better than that" she said, pulling her back towards the bench. "Patty's here."

Lulu stopped suddenly. "Uh, I don't know Grace - I think maybe it's better if I don't..."

"You're a monkey" she said, continuing to pull her, running towards the bench.

Patrick smiled as he saw them approach. "She's a force to be reckoned with" he said, smiling.

Lulu sat down on the bench beside him. "Hey" she said, shyly.

"Hey" he replied.

Grace climbed into Lulu's lap and facing her, began to play with her hair. "You're pretty" she stated.

Lulu chuckled. "Thanks Gracie - you're pretty too."

"Patty, she needs an ice cream"

She shook her head. "I'm fine -I should get going."

"You should have an ice cream" he said getting up. "Chocolate?"

She shrugged and watched him walk back to the ice cream  
shack. "How are you?" she asked.

"Fine - you look sad - are you sad?"

Lulu couldn't help but smile. "I'm a little sad."

"Why are you sad?" Gracie asked, twirling Lulu's long hair around her fingers.

She grimaced. "I just am."

"If I tell you I love you will you be less sad?"

She felt her eyes well with tears. "That's a very nice thing to say."

"I love you" she said proudly. Patrick handed Lulu her ice cream cone. "Patty, I love Lulu"

Patrick smiled as he sat back down on the bench. "What's not to love?" he asked.

"I could make you a list" Lulu mumbled.

"How are you?" he asked. "I tried calling you."

"I'm not very good at talking these days."

"Mommy says I talk too much" Grace interjected.

"I can imagine that might be true" Lulu smiled at the young girl in her lap, offering her a taste of her ice cream cone. Grace greedily licked at it.

Patrick put his hand on her shoulder. "Let me help - please?"

She shook her head, momentarily too overcome by sadness to speak. "There's nothing to do." She had difficulty looking at him - his earnestness to help was hard to see especially when she felt so void of hope. Grace snuggled into Lulu and closed her eyes.

"You know Grace is not one of those kids who just hangs on to strangers. There's something about you that makes her feel safe and that says a lot about you." Patrick watched as every muscle in her body tensed and strained in some herculean effort to stay upright. "Lulu" he said softly. Chewing on her lip, Lulu gently rubbed Grace's back while keeping her eyes glued to the ground. Patrick tilted her chin upwards, her eyes were enormous and shiny with unspilled tears. "Lulu" he repeated.

Her bottom lip began to quiver. "I want my mom" she whispered. Patrick made a move to put his arm around her but she pulled away. "Don't touch me"

"I'm not afraid to touch you" he said quietly.

"Don't be kind - I can't take it" she shook her head.

Patrick removed his hand and they sat in silence, staring straight ahead.

"How's Rian?" she asked quietly.

"He's getting stronger every day - would you like to meet him?"

She nodded. "Soon - just not yet."

"When you're ready, Robin and I would love to take you to him."

"How...how is she?"

"She's doing well Lu - she'd like to see you" he said gently.

"Does she...um, does she know?" she stammered

He shook his head. "No - she doesn't know about your role in saving her or about your test results. I'll have to tell her at some point but not yet."

"I don't want her to know" she pleaded.

"I can't keep this from her Lulu - it's not fair - she has a right to know you saved her life."

She swallowed hard. "My head feels like it's going to explode and my chest gets all tight."

"Have you thought about talking to Lainey or Alan or Nikolas?" She shook her head. "You can't do this alone"

"I am alone - I'm always alone." She gently passed Gracie to Patrick and stood up. "I'm sorry, I know you're trying to help and are being really nice but I just - it's too much Patrick."

He opened his mouth to speak but she was gone down the path before he had a chance. He kissed the top of a napping Grace's head. "You keep loving her Grace- she needs it."

xxxxxx

He had lost count of how many days it had been. His stomach ached from the lack of food and running his tongue along his teeth, he could feel the rough, fuzzy coating encasing them. His smell was rank and his jeans had dried stiffly from his last encounter with Robert. He lived in fear that Robert wasn't coming back and had left him to die but he also feared that he was coming back. Sleep came in small spurts but he never felt rested. His mind was going numb and his eyes were playing tricks on him. He began to tremble as he heard the locks being undone and the door scraped open along the floor. Each step creaked under Robert's weight.

Robert sniffed the air and made a face. "Hello Brucie- ready to play?"


	98. Chapter 98

Chapter 98

With shaky arms, Bruce brought himself up to a sitting position. "Have you had enough yet?" he said, trying to be bold. "You've made your point now it's time to let me go."

"Made my point?" he asked taking the chair next to his bed. "This isn't an exercise in point making - this is payback - there is an enormous difference." Robert opened the brown paper bag he had with him and pulled out a double cheeseburger.

Bruce began to salivate immediately as the rich, greasy smell permeated the air. He licked at his lips, his eyes locked on Robert's food. "People are going to notice I'm missing."

"They already have, mate" he said tossing the newspaper Noah had shown him. "But don't worry, I've taken care of it."

"Wha-what do you mean taken care of it?" he asked, still eyeing the burger.

He tossed a second newpaper onto the bed and watched as Bruce's face fell.

**Senate hopeful in Italian mental hospital.**

"No one will believe it" he challenged defiantly.

"It's done - I got my hands on your blackberry and wrote a little message to your staff discussing your breakdown and you just needed some space. You'd found a nice sanitorium that would help you regain your equilibrium. Though I have to say, it was hard to write in your voice, it felt like I had a giant stick up my bum."

Tears began to tumble down Bruce's face. It was becoming too much to cope with. He was hungry and tired and frightened. This man had single handedly destryoed a career path that he had been building since high school and it didn't appear there was any ending in sight.

"Oh quit your blubbering" Robert admonished. "It's just not manly." Reaching into his bag, he passed him a much smaller burger. Bruce fell on it immediately and savagely ripped the wrapping paper from it. Barely taking the time to breath, he ravaged the burger, finishing it in seconds. Robert raised his eyebrows. "Clearly you were raised in a barn."

"When are you going to let me go?"

"When are you going to let me go?" he mocked. "Christ, you really are a whiny girl aren't you? Tell me again what my daughter saw in you?"

"You've ruined my life, I think that's payback enough."

"You do? Lucky for me then that you're not running things here." He wiped his mouth with a napkin. The key to psychological torture was to take your time, never rush a moment, never reveal anything before you were absolutely ready to. By keeping the victim on pins and needles the fear would be heightened. "Let's start going through the things you did to my daughter. Did you or did you not plant the story in the paper about her being HIV+?"

He shook his head. "I wouldn't do that."

"Do you even recognize when you lie anymore or have you told so many of them you just can't tell the difference."

"I love Robin - I'm in love with Robin."

Robert began to laugh, almost maniacally. "In love?" he scoffed. "You're IN LOVE with Robin? Oh I don't think so mate."

"I am - I wanted that baby to be mine...I wanted us to have a life together."

"So, what? You figured you would break her, wear her down and she would come to you? My daughter is a Devane and a Scorpio - a little shit like you wouldn't be able to bend her let alone break her."

"I never wanted to hurt her"

"But you did - do you get that? And now I get to hurt you." He stood up and yanked Bruce's mouth open. Too weak to resist, Bruce tried not to cry as the pain shot through his body. "Mate, you need a mint or something" he said letting go of his mouth.

"Wh..what are you going to do?" he had begun to shiver uncontrollably.

"Just looking to see which teeth might come out easier if I pull them." He placed a lare bottle of water beside his bed. "I'd offer to let you shower but I think, really, you should know what it's like to feel dirty - you tried to do it to Robin." Robert headed to the stairs.

"Wait - Robert - when are you coming back? What day is it? What time is it?" Bruce pleaded. Robert said nothing as he climbed the stairs and slammed the door closed behind him. Bruce began to sob yet again as he heard the locks close.

xxxxxx

Patrick walked through the door at Kelly's and smiled as his father waved him over. "Hi Dad."

"You're looking well" Noah commented as Patrick took a seat.

He shrugged. "Robin's doing well and Rian is getting stronger and stronger every day. I'm actually beginning to relax a little bit."

Noah smiled. "Son, I am so proud of the way you've conducted yourself - and I am in awe of your strength - you got that from your mother."

Patrick shook his head. "I don't know about that. If it wasn't for you and Nathalie, I'm not sure I'd even be standing right now."

"I hear Nathalie brought the kids"

"She did. Gracie is acting out quite a bit - she misses Drew so much and she takes it out on Nathalie. Most days I think Nathalie is doing okay and then every once in a while I get a glimpse that she is barely holding it together."

Noah nodded knowingly. "Losing a spouse - the person you love - it's devestating. Out of nowhere, the pain can just squeeze your heart to point of suffocation. It's an ache that only ever dulls, it never truly goes away."

Patrick looked at his father thoughtfully. "I'm sorry Dad - we never talk about how you feel about Mom."

Noah raised his hands. "That's not why I said that. I had more than 20 years with your mother, I had a lifetime with her Patrick. It wasn't long enough but when you're in love, you're greedy - you always want more. Nathalie and Drew were just beginning to build their life together and I'm sure she feels cheated."

"I know I do" he said quietly. "I can't believe I've fallen in love and I have a child and Drew isn't here for me to talk to. I still pick up the phone and dial his number."

"There will come a time when you won't"

"Does it sound weird that I kind of hope it doesn't come?"

Noah smiled warmly. "Patrick you've never been good at letting go. You held on to everything - every card, every picture, every note - goodbyes have never been your strong suit."

"I guess it's why I don't like to start things - if they don't start, they don't have to end."

"And now, you've started the biggest thing of all - a family. I'm glad you took the leap."

Patrick grinned and inhaled. "Me too."

Georgie approached the table. "Sorry for the delay in getting to you but we're short staffed."

"Did someone call in sick?" Patrick asked, fearing the answer.

"Lulu quit yesterday and Mike hasn't had a chance to hire anyone. What can I get you guys?"

"Just coffee for me" Noah said.

"Make it two, please Georgie" Patrick added. She smiled and walked away. "Dad, there's something I need your advice on."

"What is it sport?"

Patrick leaned back in his chair. "It's about Lulu."

A look of understanding came over him immediately. "No" he said softly.

Patrick nodded. "Yup and she's a mess - she won't let anyone help her and she's insisting I don't tell Robin - I just don't know what to do."

Both men stopped talking as Georgie approached with their coffees. Noah smiled his thanks to the young girl. "I'm not sure there is anything you can do Patrick"

"I have to do something - Robin and Rian are alive because of her" he insisted.

"Son, I think your gratitude and need to feel responsible is clouding your judgment here. Your plate is full - Robin and Rian need you - they need all of your attention."

"But - "

Noah raised a hand. "I'm not saying you can't be supportive of her but don't confuse that with your desire to fix this for her. Does her family know?"

Patrick nodded. "Nikolas knows and is trying really hard to help her and oddly, Nathalie was the first to know."

"Be around, be ready to offer support if and when she asks for it but just be careful. I know how you feel about what she did for your family and you want her to be all better but you don't have that kind of power."

"You're pretty smart for a grandfather" he teased lightly.

"Grey hair has its advantages. As for telling Robin - I would still hold off and then when you do - do it in phases."

"You mean just tell her about Lulu's heroics?"

Noah nodded. "Your girlfriend is not a stupid woman Patrick - she has a broad understanding of the extent of her injuries and will know instantly the risk that Lulu took. She will likely put the rest together and then you need to be there for her when that happens. I imagine Robin is going to be consummed by guilt and responsibility."

"We're not out of the woods yet, are we?"

His father gave him a wry smile. "Sorry sport - not by a long shot."

xxxxx

Robin sat up in her bed flipping through one of the dozen of magazines that Brenda had left her. She knew she was beginning to feel better because she was begining to be bored. She had already been to the NICU twice and her activities were still restricted meaning there had to be at least four hours between outings. She let out a deep sigh as she looked at the advertisement for Jimmy Choo stilettos. It was going to be a very long time before she would be able to wear anything like that.

"Hi Robin."

She looked over the chair. "Stone" she whispered. "Why are you here?"

"I'm here to see you. Aren't you happy to see me?"

"Of course I am" she said quietly as her eyes filled with tears. "But why now - after all these years?"

"You called for me" he said simply. "In the OR, you called for me and I couldn't let you go through that alone. You died you know."

She bit her lip. "I remember feeling warm"

He nodded. "That's right and then you called for me and I came to take you but you wouldn't come."

"Are you...are you here to take me now?" she asked in confusion.

"No" he shook his head. "It's not your time but I am here with you - I've missed being with you."

"You've never been far from my thoughts or my heart"

"I know" he smiled warmly. "And you loved me like no one else had ever done but I've missed this" he said pointing between them. "Us, talking."

"I've missed it too."

The door to her room opened. "Hello darling" Anna said. She followed Robin's gaze to the chair. "Sweetheart, who are you talking to?"

Stone put his finger to his lips and was suddenly gone. "No one" she said, turning back to her mother.


	99. Chapter 99

Chapter 99

"Oh - I thought I heard you speaking" Anna said, coming into her room.

"I was just...uh..reading out loud" she covered. "I'm happy to see you."

"Me too darling - how are you feeling?" she asked kissing her forehead.

"Pretty good."

"Is your Patrick lurking about? I'm not interrupting some quiet time am I?" she teased, her eyes darting around.

Robin blushed slightly as she thought back to the night in her bed with Brenda's "gift". "No - I sent him home this afternoon - he spends too much time here."

"But here is where you are and I suspect that's the great appeal for him."

"Don't get me wrong - I want him here all the time but I'm just worried about him getting burnt out. He takes such good care of both of us - Mom, I am one very lucky girl."

Anna squeezed her hand. "I am so pleased for you. I'll let you in on a little secret" she whispered conspiratorally.

"What's that?" she asked, smiling.

"I really like him."

Robin gasped, teasingly. "Oh my goodness - it's like all the planets have aligned."

Anna laughed. "But don't let it get around."

"I have a question for you"

"What's that luv?"

"Would you like to go meet your grandson?"

"Are you up to it?" Anna asked.

"Am I up to showing off my beautiful baby - you better believe it."

Anna beamed. "Alrighty then, let me get a chair and we are good to go."

Anna lifted her daughter into the chair and was slightly concerned at how thin she had become. Robin navigated while Anna pushed her to the NICU. She had been tempted to visit Rian several times during her time at the hospital but really wanted to share the experience of meeting him for the first time with Robin. She helped Robin with her gown and gloves before putting her own on and then bringing them both to the incubator. Her heart became very full at the sight of the tiny perfect human being before her. He had a little knit touque on and was still hooked up to a ventilator but besides that, he appeared very peaceful.

"Oh Robin" was all she could manage at first.

Robin slipped her hands through and immediately touched his little body. He was beginning to respond to touches and stirred. "Hey little one, I have someone very special for you to meet - this is your grandma Anna."

"Hmm - not sure I like the name" she joked.

"Well then come up with your own" Robin said, moving her chair back slightly. "Here Mom but your hands through here - he likes to be touched."

Anna put her hands through and took in a sharp breath when his hand curled around her finger. "Oh my - little Rian you are most welcome here." She kissed the top of the incubator. "Robin, he's beautiful."

"Can you believe I have a baby?" she asked wondrously.

Anna reached for her hand and brought it to her lips. "I am so proud of the woman you have become Robin - it is more than I ever could have dreamed for you." Anna used her free hand to wipe away the tears that had sprung to her eyes.

"Excuse me Robin?"

Robin looked up. "Hi Dr. Trudel - this is my mother, Anna Devane - Mom, this is Rian's specialist, Dr. Trudel."

"It's very nice to meet you Ms. Devane."

"How is my grandson Dr. Trudel?"

"Actually, that's why I've come over - I have some very good news."

"What is it?" Robin asked excitedly.

"The medication is working and so long as it continues, I don't anticipate that surgery will be required."

Robin's entire face lit up. "Are you sure?"

The doctor nodded. "I am - he's responding nicely and putting on weight at a good rate - we're actually quite pleased with his progress."

"When will I be able to hold him?" she asked.

He smiled sympathetically. "Not for a while yet, I'm afraid but in about 3 weeks we expect he can begin to spend short periods of time outside the incubator."

"Thanks very much Dr. Trudel."

"It's always nice to be able to give good news" he smiled at both women before leaving.

Anna bent down and wrapped her arms around her daughter and kissed her cheek. "Rian is one lucky baby." Noticing Robin's sudden drop in energy level. "Let's get you back to the room, shall we?"

"I'm sorry I'm such a party pooper, I just get tired so easily."

"Darling, you are recovering from major surgery, I'm sure this is to expected."

"Isn't he beautiful?" she asked as Anna took her back to her room.

"He is - quite possibly the most beautiful baby I have ever seen - after you of course."

Robin smiled. "Am I going to be saying the same thing about my grandchildren?" she asked.

"It's a mother's right to assert that their child is the most beautiful of them all."

Both stopped speaking when Anna opened the door to the room. There, sitting in the chair at bedside, was Robert. "It's my two favourite women" Robert said standing up. "Hello luv" he said, kissing Robin on the cheek. "Anna" he said, kissing her as well.

"Dad - this is a nice surprise." Robin beamed. "Mom just met Rian."

"A strapping lad to be sure" he smiled at Anna as he lifted Robin from her chair and tucked her into her bed.

"He's quite handsome - a lovely combination of Patrick and Robin" Anna agreed.

Robin's eyes grew heavy. "I'm terrible company" she complained.

"Not at all luv" Robert said. "I hadn't planned on staying long, I just wanted to see how you were."

"Getting better" she yawned. "How are you?"

"Keeping out of trouble" he replied.

"As if" Anna scoffed.

"I am capable of it" he said somewhat defensively.

Anna smiled. "I'm teasing Robert."

"She really isn't" Robin chimed in before finally giving in to sleep.

Robert gave Anna another kiss on the cheek. "What's that for?" she asked.

"We did good Anna - our daughter has a baby and they're both alive. We did good."

She hugged him and held him tight. "We sure did." Pulling back she studied his face, even if she wasn't an expert at reading body language she knew Robert too well to not know when something was going on. "What's wrong Robert - you seem ...off."

"I'm fine" he said dismissively.

"I don't think so - you're either up to something or something is wrong."

"Put your spy glasses away for a day Anna - we are here with our daughter and our grandson - it's a beautiful thing." He held out his arm. "Can I buy you celebratory drink?"

She gave him a half smile. "That would be lovely." She began to run through scenarios in her head as to what he was up to.

xxxxx

Nathalie walked along the pier, sipping her coffee. The hotel offered a babysitting service and she had decided it was time to make use of it. She was desperate for some time, just to herself. It was somethign she hadn't had since Andrew's death and she missed sorely. Still not ready to return to work, she was with the kids all day every day and it was beginning to take a toll. Finding a bench, she sat down and closing her eyes, brought the coffee to her nose, inhaling the comforting smell.

"Am I interrupting?"

She smiled before opening her eyes, recognizing the voice. "Hi Nikolas" she said cheerily.

"Is this a private moment?" he asked seriously.

"Not at all" she smiled, making room on the bench for him. "Are you coming or going?"

He sat down. "I was just finishing up some errands in town and on my way back. Where are the kids?"

"Apparently the hotel offers babysitting and I was feeling self indulgent - so I think they're watching some Clifford."

Nikolas laughed. "Nothing self indulgent about wanting adult time."

She took a long drink of her coffee. "I had a good time the other night."

"Me too" he smiled. "You have wonderful children."

"That's very kind of you to say." She turned to face him. "How is Lulu?"

Nikolas grimaced. "She hasn't been home in a few days. I have my people looking for her but just doesn't want to be found."

Nathalie nodded. "When Andrew died, I wanted to run as far and as fast as I could - sell the house - move away - just get as far away from everything that represented our life together."

He smiled kindly. "You think this is like a death?"

She furrowed her brow thoughtfully. "I think it may be - the death of the life you planned. Nothing will ever be the same for her again, or at least it feels that way."

"You're very wise" he teased lightly.

"I've been watching a lot of Dr. Phil lately"

"Dr. Phil?" he asked.

"Tall, bald headed fellow - thick country accent - gives advice on television?"

"I don't actually watch t.v" he admitted sheepishly.

"Of course you don't" she teased. "Too busy reading in Greek."

"Something like that." he paused. "Do you have dinner plans tonight?"

"Oh - uh - well, I have the kids"

Nikolas smiled. "I like your kids - bring them - I live in a drafty mansion that could use some company - you would be doing me a favour" he rambled.

Nathalie felt her cheeks go hot. "Are you sure? You don't have to be nice to us..."

"Who's being nice - I genuinely enjoy your company - all of your family's company" he covered.

"That would be lovely" she said shyly. "Patrick is going to be at the hospital tonight."

"Good - you can tell me more about this Dr. Phil fellow and his advice." He stood. "Come over whenever you are ready."

"Thanks Nikolas - see you tonight."

He beamed as he walked to the launch.

xxxxxx

Patrick pulled a chair close to the incubator. He reached one hand in and took hold of Rian's hand while opening the book with his free hand. The nurses stood and smiled. Dr. Drake had been in reading a new story to his son every day. The once notorious ladies' man had settled into the role of fatherhood like a natural. Rather than diminishing his appeal, he was becoming more attractive.

"Hey little man" he said. "I have a new book today - it's called Love You Forever by Robert Munsch." He held the cover up to the incubator. "This was a gift from my friend and now your friend Nathalie."

He flipped open the first page and began to read in his soft baritone oblivious to everyone and everything else in the room. Whenever the noise got too loud in his head or he felt so overwhelmed by everything that had happened, he would come and sit beside Rian and read him a story. It was as much for him as it was for his son. There was so little about the start to their father/son relationship that was normal and he was determined to claim something for himself. He read the last part.

_"I'll love you forever,  
I'll like you for always,  
as long as I'm living  
my baby you'll be." _

Patrick leaned in and whispered to Rian. "You will always be my little man - my beautiful baby boy."

xxxxxx

Lulu walked into Jake's and took a seat at the bar. Coleman knew she was underage but also knew she was in trouble. He didn't know what was wrong with the young Spencer but whatever it was had put a darkness to her face that was unshakeable and made her look unconsoleable. "What can I get you little one?" he asked.

"Beer?"

"Juice?"

"Can you put vodka in the juice?"

"Lulu, you could cost me my license if we got busted."

"Please Coleman?" she asked.

He looked at her face and it tore at him. He had seen all kinds in his time as a bartender but the truly sad were easy to find - the despair oozed from them. Lulu definitely qualified as the truly sad. "Fine but if anyone asks, you stole the vodka."

She gave him a small smile. "You're my hero."

He winked at her, passing her a vodka and orange juice. "You just get the one though" he warned kindly.

Lulu nodded and began to nurse the drink. She thought about how whiskey was her father's drink of choice and how fitting it would be if he were here to pour her a drink but adventure had called and he was gone. She thought about asking Robert if he knew how to contact him but unsure of what Luke's reaction would be, she let it be. Nikolas could find Luke if needed but she didn't want him to think that she preferred Luke's spotty support to his. In the end she realized she liked the idea of her father's help as opposed to the reality of it.

"Hey" said the young man sliding into the seat next to her. "Can I buy you a drink?"


	100. Chapter 100

Chapter 100

"I'm George" he said extending his hand.

"Lulu" she said, shaking it.

"I know this is going to sound like a line but what's a pretty girl like you doing all alone in a place like this?" He turned his whole body to face her.

"Just looking for a drink" she replied, lifting her glass.

"That one looks almost done – can I buy you another?"

She shrugged. "If you want."

George signalled to Coleman and ordered two more drinks. Coleman eyed the young man suspiciously. He liked Lulu and he had a lot of respect for her father. While he knew that he was not the most upstanding of citizens, he did operate with his own moral code and he would bring a world of hurt to anyone who messed with his friends and whether she knew it or not, Lulu was a friend. He put the two drinks down in front of them.

"Everything okay Lulu?" he asked.

She smiled gratefully. "It's all good Coleman"

"You just holler if you need anything" he said to her while keeping his eyes firmly fixed on George.

George moved his barstool closer. "Lulu – that's a nice name. Is it a nickname?"

"Yeah – short for Lesley Lu."

"So, do you go to PCU? I haven't seen you on campus –I'm a junior there."

"No – I'm taking some time off." She drained her first drink.

"That's cool. I'm studying business there – it's interesting – I'm hoping to start my own company some day."

"Cool" she said half heartedly.

"Wanna play some pool?" he asked, hopefully.

"Sure." Lulu picked up her second drink and walked to the pool table. She racked up the balls and George handed her a cue.

"I suppose you're a pool shark?"

Lulu smiled. "I've got some game. You?"

"I may play a little bit in my fraternity – wanna play for something?"

"Like what?"

"A dance. If I win, you have to dance with me."

"And if I win?"

"I have to dance with you" he smiled at her.

Lulu laughed in spite of herself. "So this is a win/win for you."

"Pretty much – do you want to break?"

"You may never get a shot off if you let me do that" she warned.

"I'm willing to take my chances"

"Don't say I didn't warn you." Lulu lined up the white ball and sent it precisely to middle of the pack. She proceeded to sink the next four shots until she came up to a tricky one. She studied the ball from all angles trying to determine the best way to approach it. Finally, she lined her cue up across the table but was having difficulty moving it accurately.

"Let me help you with that" he said. Coming behind her, he put his arms around her and his hands over hers, using his height to advantage. Lulu closed her eyes briefly, lost in the feeling of his weight against her and how nice it felt to be touched. "Ready?" he asked, his breath against her neck. She nodded and they made the shot together. The ball went in and Lulu proceeded to clear the table.

George leaned back against the wall, drinking his beer. "You really are a shark, you know that?"

She smiled triumphantly. "It's your own fault for helping me. I would never have made that shot if you hadn't helped."

He walked towards her and stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. "What can I say, I'm a sucker for a damsel in distress." He ran his other hand down her bare arm. "You are just gorgeous."

Lulu blushed. "I'm not…" she protested.

"And that only makes you sexier. So how about my dance?"

"I don't know" she said, suddenly unsure.

He snaked his arm around her waist. "I want to dance with you" he said huskily. "Let's go"

Taking her by the hand, he led her to the dance floor. Resting his hands on her waist, he pulled her in closer to him and she rested her head against his chest as they swayed in time to the music. He ran his hand down her back and Lulu shivered, enjoying that someone was holding her, touching her. As the second song started, George tilted her chin upwards and brought his lips down on hers. He coaxed her lips apart, sliding his tongue inside her mouth. Lulu arched up against him, suddenly overcome by an urgent need to feel alive. He nipped at her lips before moving to her neck. He sucked gently on her earlobe and back to her mouth. She could feel his growing arousal up against her and her own heat pooling between her legs. He left a trail of small kisses on her neck before cupping her face with one hand, his thumb stroking her cheek.

"Let's get out of here – I want to be alone with you."

Lulu wondered if anyone else could hear it – the sound of squealing brakes. She wondered if she would always hear it. She licked her lips and sighed quietly. "I can't"

"Come on baby – you're sexy and hot and I want to touch you in ways that will get me arrested here."

"I just can't" she repeated, hoping to end the conversation.

He brushed his hand over her breast, feeling her nipple harden immediately. "What do you mean, can't? I know you want me" he said throatily.

"I do but ..I can't"

He crashed his lips onto hers again, leaving her breathless. "Say yes" he encouraged.

"I have HIV" she blurted.

He dropped both hands from her like she was on fire. She knew that she would never forget the look of horror on his face. As nice as everyone in her life had been to her, this was the true reaction to HIV, this was how people really felt. "What did you say?" he asked, stunned.

"I'm HIV+. I'm on a protocol but…"

George stepped back and spat on the ground. "And you let me kiss you?"

"You can't catch HIV by kissing" she said, feeling tears spring to her eyes.

"You're….you're gross – is this some kind of game – you hang around bars hoping to pick up guys and infect them?"

"No!" she started to cry. "That's not what I meant" she took a step towards him but he pushed her back.

Coleman was beside her in a flash. He put his hand on George's shoulder. "Is that how your momma taught you to treat women?" he asked.

"She – she – she's gross – she has HIV" he blurted. The bar fell silent and the patrons were staring.

Coleman closed the distance between him and George. "I don't care if she has the fucking ebola virus – you do not put your hands on a woman – EVER!" He grabbed hold of his shirt and dragged him to the door. "You ever come back in my bar and I will break your head."

Lulu stood in the middle of the dance floor, crying and unable to move. Coleman came back after throwing George out and put his arm around her. "What are you people staring at?" he growled. "Get back to your own business or get out." He guided Lulu to the bar and poured her a stiff shot of whiskey. "Get that in you sweetpea – you've had a bit of a shock."

"I should go" she said, not noticing that her hands were shaking.

"Not just yet, darlin'. Can I call someone for you?"

She shook her head as she brought the fiery liquid to her lips. It burned on the way down but she barely noticed. "I should go."

"Where to? Let me call you a taxi – or Lucky? Do you want me to call Lucky?"

"No – I'm living with Nikolas. I'm just going to go home." She put the shot glass down on the bar and turned to leave. Coleman closed his hand over hers.

"Don't you listen to a word that half-wit says Lulu. You are a beautiful little spitfire and any guy would be lucky to have you on their arm."

She smiled weakly. "Thanks Coleman." She turned and shuffled out of the bar, headed towards the launch.

Coleman poured himself a shot and raised it to her departing form. "To you sweetpea" he said before knocking it back.

xxxxxx

Nathalie didn't know why she was so nervous as Nikolas handed her a drink but there was something about the nearness of him that put her off balance. He had arranged for the Spencer's nanny to set up a play room for all the children after dinner and they were off playing quietly, leaving the two adults alone.

"You look very nice" he said, sitting down next to her on the couch. "I meant to tell you earlier."

Much to Nathalie's horror, she had struggled about what to wear, changing her outfit several times before settling on a khaki a-line skirt with a white blouse and a chunky brown belt. She had left her hair down again, a look that was becoming more of a habit for her. She smiled. "Thanks – so do you – as a prince do you wear royal jeans?" she teased.

Nikolas laughed. "You would think so wouldn't you? No, Lulu bought these for me saying something about being embarrassed to be seen with someone who dresses as uptight as I do." He was wearing a navy cashmere polo shirt that set off his dark skin and eyes.

"Patrick has also bemoaned Lulu's derision of his wardrobe." She took a sip of her drink. "Have you heard from her?"

He shook his head. "No. I want to give her the space she needs but I don't want her to get so far away I can't reach her."

"It's a balancing act."

"How are you adjusting to Port Charles?" he asked, skilfully changing the subject.

"I like it – it makes a nice change from DC. Though I will have to figure out what to do about my job soon enough."

"Any idea on what you'd like to do?"

"Sadly no" she shook her head. "I keep thinking it will just come to me but it doesn't. Drew and I had plans to save the world, him through medicine and me through law. It just doesn't seem as important now."

"Because you can't do it together?" he asked gently.

"I think so." She sighed. "It's just, we had this life planned and the plans are changed and I have no idea how to get back on track." She looked at Nikolas. "I'm sorry, it must be very boring to hear about my husband and my inability to figure out what I want to be when I grow up."

He smiled, putting his hand on her arm. He briefly wondered if she felt the electricity that he did. "Not at all, Nathalie. When Courtney died, I went into a tailspin. We had been making plans to get married and raise Spencer and it all fell apart."

She grinned. "We are quite a pair." She made no move to take her arm away from his hand.

"We are." He put his glass on the table. "You know, I have a number of companies not to mention the hospital, there is surely a job there that you might like."

"That's very kind –I don't know though if I'm going to stay in Port Charles."

Nikolas tried to hide his disappointment. "Of course –you have a life in DC – your children have friends."

"Actually" she began. "If I told Gracie that we were going to live in the same city as Patrick she would be over the moon. That man can do no wrong in her eyes."

"How about yours?" he asked, inexplicably feeling twinges of jealousy every time she brought up Patrick's name.

She smiled broadly. "Oh I know all of Patrick's faults and where all the bodies are buried. I would tell you but I just don't think we have that kind of time."

Nikolas laughed but stopped suddenly as a clearly upset Lulu came crashing through the door and headed upstairs. "Lu?" he called out to her.

"I don't want to talk about it" she seethed as she marched up the stairs.

"Excuse me for a moment." Nikolas followed her up the stairs but returned moments later after she had slammed the door. He sat back down beside Nathalie. "Apparently, she really doesn't want to talk about it."

"Well, she came home – that's a start."

"At this point, I'll take small victories"

Unconsciously, Nathalie moved closer to him on the couch. "So long as she knows she can count on you –that's half the battle. She thinks she can do this on her own but it's just too big – you have to share it with the people you love"

Nikolas looked at her thoughtfully. "Sounds like you're speaking from experience."

She gave him a wry grin. "That's a story for another day."

"Excuse me Nikolas" Alfred interrupted.

"Yes Alfred?"

"Apparently a severe storm has swept through Port Charles and the launch is now closed. I'm afraid Ms. Walker and the children will have to be our guests tonight."

"Thank you Alfred"

Nathalie turned to Nikolas. "I hope we're not an imposition."

"Don't be ridiculous – there are 18 bedrooms in this house – we will find a place for you to stay. I just hope you don't think I arranged for this to happen" he teased.

Nathalie laughed. "I understand that you're a powerful man Nikolas but I sincerely doubt you have the power to control the weather."

He smiled. "You never know." He got up from the couch. "I'll have Mary put Grace and Oliver in your room and get them settled."

"Geez – keep this up and I might move in." He winked at her as he left the room. Nathalie covered her face with her hands. "What am I doing?" she thought to herself. "I'm flirting! How can I be flirting?"

xxxx

Nikolas returned nearly 20 minutes later. "Everyone is all settled – may I show you to your room?" He held out his hand to her and placed her in his as he helped her from the couch. Neither let go as they walked up the marble staircase to the rooms. Stopping outside her room, they stared at each other awkwardly. Nikolas lightly ran his thumb along the palm of her hand.

"I'm really glad you came for dinner tonight."

Nathalie was surprised at how much difficulty she was having breathing. "Me too – I had a great time" she smiled shyly. Silence fell over them for the second time. "I..uh…I guess I should get to bed."

"Yes – me too" he said quietly, still holding her hand. He leaned in and very gently, tenderly, pulled her lips into his before stepping back. "Oh – that was terribly forward of me – I am so sorry." He went to let go of her hand but she held on tighter.

"Don't be – it was nice"

Nikolas stepped into her again and kissed her a second time, slowly. He sighed into her mouth as he felt her melt against him. Finally breaking the kiss, he stepped back and smiled. "Good night" he whispered.

She fingered her lips. "Good night"

xxxxxx

Nathalie had no idea how long she had been asleep but knew it was too early for Grace to be bouncing on her bed. "Grace Louise Walker, go back to sleep" she said without opening her eyes.

"Mommy Lulu won't wake up"

"Because it's late and she's sleeping as you should be Gracie."

"But I jumped on her and she wouldn't move. She had little blue candies by her bed but I didn't take any. I asked her if I could have some but she wouldn't wake up and tell me."

Nathalie's eyes flew open. "Little blue candies?"

Grace nodded. "They came from a bottle."

Nathalie threw back the covers. "Gracie – stay here and don't move" She pulled on the robe Alfred had supplied and sprinted to Lulu's room. "Please no Lulu"


	101. Chapter 101

Chapter 101

Nathalie pushed open the door to Lulu's room and stopped in her tracks. Lying on her stomach, hair splayed across the pillow was a clearly unconscious Lulu. Snapping out of her state, she rushed to her and turned her on her back. Looking down on the floor, she saw a puddle of vomit and stepped over it, getting on the bed with Lulu. She frantically tapped her face hard

"Lulu! LULU! Wake up!" she pleaded. Nathalie felt for a pluse and gave a small sigh of relief when felt the familiar beating against her fingers. It was slow but it was there. She sat Lulu upright and continued to tap her face. "Come on sweetie, you need to wake up - LULU!"

"Mommy why won't Lulu wake up?" Grace asked in a small voice.

Nathalie turned around in horror to see her small daughter standing in the doorway watching her try to revive Lulu. "Baby, Lulu is really tired. Can you do me a favour honey?" Grace nodded seriously. "I need you to go find Nikolas' room and tell him that I need him in Lulu's room - can you do that sweetie?" Nathalie tried to keep her voice as steady and light as possible all the while not letting go of Lulu.

"Okay mommy" she said scurrying in the direction of Nikolas' room. Grace stood at his bed side tapping him and pulling on his sheets. "Nik! Nik!"

He groggily opened his eyes and was surprised to see Grace standing at his bed. He sat up straight and took her hands. "Grace? Is something wrong - where's your mom?"

"Mommy says Lulu won't wake up and she needs you."

Nikolas swallowed hard trying to calm his hammering heart. "Grace, why don't you crawl in here and keep my bed warm while I go check on Lulu and your mom?"

"Okay" she said, climbing into his bed and pulling his covers around her.

Nikolas smiled and walked from his room before break into a run once out of Gracie's sight. "Lulu!" he said running through the door. He skidded to a halt as he saw Nathalie propping up his sister, trying to get her to wake up.

She spun around at the sound of Nik's voice. "She needs to go the hospital Nik - she's taken a handful of valium. It looks like she's thrown most of it up but she needs a doctor." He nodded, wide-eyed. He was completely overwhelmed at the thought of his precious baby sister teetering on the brink. "Now Nikolas - You have to move or stay here with her and I'll call for help."

Shaking free of the fog he nodded again. "I'll have Alfred call for the chopper" he said running for the door.

Nathalie got behind Lulul and held her in a sitting position continuing to encourage her. "Come on Lu - please wake up - you can't do this to your family, they love you too much." She bit her lip to keep her tears at bay, the feelings were too achingly familiar.

Nikolas came back into the room, pulling a t-shirt over his head and Nathalie's skirt in his hands. "The chopper is on its way and Mary will stay with the kids - will you...could you come with me?" Nathalie nodded. He walked to the bed and took Lulu in his arms, carrying her out the door and down the stairs to wait for the chopper. Nathalie pulled her skirt on, sliding off the track pants she had been wearing. Going back to her room, she slipped on her shoes and dropped a kiss on Oliver's head. Stopping in Nikolas' room, she kissed a sleeping Grace before running down the stairs.

Nikolas rocked gently back and forth with Lulu in his arms. "She's moaning" he said. "That must be a good sign."

Nathalie nodded. "It is." She looked up at the ceiling. "That sounds like the chopper."

Scooping Lulu up, Nikolas carried her outside to the landing pad and climbed in to the helicopter. The pilot assisted Nathalie before closing the door. "Lulu just hang on - please hang on" Nik pleaded quietly. His voice could barely be heard over the whirr of the blades. As the helicopter touched down on the hospital roof, they were greeted by the emergency team who took her from Nikolas' arms and ran away with her. Nikolas stood staring as his sister disappeared from sight.

Nathalie got down from the helicopter and took him by the hand. "Come on, let's go to the waiting room" she said. Nikolas followed wordlessly, still too stunned by all that had happened. Nathalie guided him to a seat and sat beside him. "Do you want a coffee or something?" He shook his head. "Nik, is there someone else I can call? Your brother?"

He sighed. "Alfred called him, I'm sure he'll come busting through the doors at any minute."

Nathalie took hold of his hand again and squeezed it. "I'm sorry Nikolas"

He smiled grimly. "Thanks. Thanks for being here." He leaned back into the chair. "Lulu's special - she's such a free spirit - she just kind of goes where the wind takes her and I envy that about her."

"Why?" she asked quietly.

"Because my entire life was about structure and doing what was right and what was expected. Lulu's life has been about doing what she feels, taking the time to experience what she wants."

"Do you have regrets?"

He shook his head. "They're a waste of time." He chewed on his lip. "She needs to get through this."

"I suspect she will. Your sister is a strong girl."

"But what if she's lost her will to live?"

Nathalie let out a long breath. "I suspect that losing your will to live is a temporary measure and that if you hang on long enough, the feeling passes. She tried to give into the feeling but it didn't work - she'll come out the other side."

He looked at her thoughtfully. "I hope you're right."

"Nikolas!" Lucky bellowed as he flew throught the ER doors. "Any news?"

He shook his head. "Not yet."

"What the hell happened?"

Nathalie gave his hand a small squeeze. "I'll go get some coffee - I think we could all use it."

Nikolas smiled gratefully. "Lucky, have a seat - there's something I need to tell you about Lulu."

xxxxx

Nathalie meandered to the cafeteria, trying to beat back the bad memories this was all stirring up. If only someone had known how desperate Andrew was, if only he had chosen some way that left an out she might still have her husband and her children might still have their father. She could feel the anger welling up inside her. She poured three coffees and made her way to the cafeteria.

"Nathalie?"

She turned at the familiar voice. "Noah" she smiled.

"What are you doing here, it's only 7 in the morning?"

Nathalie grimaced. "Actually I'm glad I ran into you - is Patrick at the hospital now?"

"Why? Is something wrong with one of the kids?" he asked with concern.

"No, Grace and Oliver are both fine. It's Lulu Spencer."

Noah paled. "What happened?"

"It appears she took a handful of pills during the night - they're working on her now."

"Oh god" he said, horrified.

"I'm here with Nikolas and his brother has just arrived but I think Patrick should know."

Noah nodded. "He'll be devastated but he needs to know. He's actually with Rian now, I was just on my way to meet him."

"Would you mind telling him?" she asked. "I promised Nik I'd be back with the coffee."

"Of course - are...are you okay?"

She smiled. "I'm fine. I'll be in the waiting room if Patrick needs me."  
"I'll let him know" She gave him a small wave before heading back to the waiting room. Noah covered his eyes with his hand. There seemed to be no end to the victims of this accident.

xxxxx

Patrick was seated next to Rian's incubator, reading him yet another story. "..and he huffed and he puffed and he blew the house down!" He let out a light laugh. "You know Rian, this story scared me as a kid, I thought it meant that wolves were super strong - apparently they can't actually blow a house down."

"Patrick."

He turned around. "Hey Dad, Rian and I were just discussing the relative air strength of wolves..." the words died on his lips as he saw the look on Noah's face. "Is it Robin?"

"No - Lulu Spencer was just brought in."

"For what?"

Noah took a deep breath. "Suicide attempt."

Patrick's face crumpled. "No."

Noah put an arm on his shoulder. "I'm sorry son - they're still working on her."

"I've been trying to get her to talk to me for days but she just wouldn't."

"Patrick, this isn't your fault. But sport, I think the time has come to tell Robin - this hospital can't keep a secret if its life depended on it and I would hate for her to overhear it from a nurse or an orderly."

"How's Nikolas?"

Noah shrugged. "I actually ran into Nathalie in the cafeteria and she told me."

Patrick tried to process what his father had just told him but couldn't make any sense of it. "I, uh, I should call Robin's parents - I think she'll need all the support she can get when I tell her."

"I think that's a good idea" he said. "Nikolas and the others are in the ER waiting room - it might not be a bad idea to stop by there too."  
He nodded. "Does it ever end Dad?"

"I'm not sure sport."

Patrick kissed Rian through the incubator before getting up to phone Anna and Robert. Noah watched as his son's gait became heavier, more lumbering and sighed. There really was no end to the victims.

xxxxx

Nathalie watched as the waiting room began to fill with Lulu's friends and family. Lucky, Elizabeth, Dillon, Georgie and even Tracy and Edward had come to wait for news. Sonny Corinthos showed up and though normally despised was warmly greeted. Nathalie moved away from the group as Nik began to relay what little information he had been given. He consoled Lucky as he came to understand that his sister was HIV+ and he peppered Elizabeth with every question that came to mind. She found a space against a wall and stood and watched. She didn't belong and she didn't want to be there. In fact she didn't want to be anywhere - she just wanted to go home and pull the covers over her head. She simply did not have the strength for this.

Noah came to the waiting room to see if Patrick was there but his eyes found Nathalie immediately. And on her face he saw the look he knew well - the look people get when they are reliving the worst moment of their lives. He had had that look many times. Every time he cut into a skull in the months following Mattie's death, he would see Mattie and not the patient on the table. Every time a patient flatlined in the OR or on a floor, he would see Mattie and it would all come back in a flood. Looking over at Nathalie, she looked like someone who was about to swept to sea. He walked over and stood beside her. "You're not doing so well" he said quietly.

"I thought I could do this but it's ..it's too..."

"Raw?" he offered.

She nodded. "I keep seeing Drew, I keep hearing the phone call from the hospital telling me I had to get here right away."

"Where are the kids?"

"At Wyndermere."

"Come on - I'm getting you out of here." She made no resistance and nodded wordlessly as Noah led her out of the ER and to his car.

xxxx

Patrick had finally managed to reach Robert and Anna and explained the situation to them. They both agreed to meet him at the hospital. He had called Brenda for good measure. He walked to the ER to see Nikolas and to wait for the others. Nikolas was sitting alone on a row of seats as Lucky cradled his head in his hands, Liz rubbed his back. He sat down beside Nikolas.

"I checked on her on my way here - they're moving her to ICU."

He nodded "I just...wow - I didn't know she was that bad Patrick."

"None of us did Nik."

He looked up at him, his brown eyes haunted. "Nathalie was here" he said, looking around the waiting area. "I thought she might have gone looking for you but she seems to have disappeared. She amazing Patrick, she revived her and kept encouraging her to hang on - but I guess she had enough."

Patrick blew out his cheeks. "I'm sure she would want to be here Nik but I suspect she's overwhelmed." Nikolas raised his eyebrows. "Did she ever tell you how Andrew died?"

"Car accident."

Patrick nodded "But it was actually suicide. I'll spare you all the details - she can tell you if she wants but I think this was all a little too fresh for her."

Nik's mouth fell open. "I had no idea."

"I know - I just wanted you to know because Nathalie is not the type of person who runs out on people when they need her, I just think this was too hard."

"Thanks Patrick."

Patrick stood up as he saw Anna, Robert and Brenda come through the doors. He put a reassuring hand on Nik's shoulder. "I'll be thinking of her and I'll be by later." Nikolas nodded.

"Patrick" Anna said quietly. "Are you ready to do this?"

"Telling will be the easy part - it's what comes next."

The four walked silently to Robin's room and he knocked on the door as he pushed it open. Robin was sitting up, eating her breakfast. "All four of you? This is a nice way to start my morning - wait -it's not my birthday, is it?" she asked smiling. She noticed the serious look on Patrick's face. "What's going on?" she asked, searching their faces.

"Robin - there's something I need to tell you about Lulu."


	102. Chapter 102

Chapter 102

Robin sat up straighter in the bed. "Lulu?" She looked from her mother to her father to Brenda. "Wha-what's going on?" she stammered.

Patrick sat on her bed and took her hand. "Robin the day of your accident you were meeting Brenda and Lulu for lunch."  
She nodded. "I know - Lulu called to me just before the car hit - she was trying to warn me -Patrick - what's going on?"

He took a deep breath. "Lulu ran to you after you were hit and you were unconscious and not breathing..." Patrick stopped as he found himself beginning to tremble.

Brenda jumped in. "She was so brave Robin. She turned you over and checked for your pulse and when she realized you weren't breathing, she gave you mouth to mouth. Once you started to breathe, she picked you up and ran with you to the ER." Brenda's eyes began to well. "Can you believe it - scrawny little Lu carried you all the way to the ER."

Patrick began to rub her hand with his and waited. He could see that Robin was processing everything she had just been told. "Wait" she said hoarsely. "She...she.." Robin swallowed thickly. "She gave me mouth to mouth?" Patrick nodded. "But...wasn't I..." she looked to Brenda. "Brenda - was I bleeding?"

Brenda bit her lip and looked at the ground before meeting Robin's eyes. "Yes."

Realization dawned on Robin. Her mouth fell open and tears filled her eyes. "Please - tell me she tested negative" she pulled on Patrick's shirt. "Tell me she tested negative." Patrick shook his head silently. She grabbed his shirt tighter. "It's a mistake" she cried. "She is not HIV+ - that can't be." She began to beat her fists against his chest. He bit down on the inside of his cheek to keep from crying. "It's a mistake."

Robert stepped towards her and sat down on the other side of her. "Robin, luv, it's not a mistake - Alan ran the test two times- she is positive." He inhaled sharply. "But there's more."

"What?" she asked quietly, her bottom lip quivering.

"Lulu's here at GH - Robin - they think she tried to kill herself."

"NO!" she cried. She flopped back against the pillow, putting her fists to her eyes to stem the tears. "NO! Is she alive?"

"Yes" Patrick said quietly. "She's in ICU."

It all came back to Robin, every terrifying moment from when she was 17 and newly diagnosed. She remembered standing on the ledge of the bridge, the cool night air whipping up in to her face. She had stared at the cold water below wondering if she just jumped in if would quench the fiery pain inside. She never found out as Jason had come to her rescue that night and kept her from falling into the emotional and physical abyss. She let out a small sob. Patrick moved towards her and took her in his arms. She resisted at first before giving in and letting the tears flow. It was her nightmare come to life – another person, someone she cared about had been infected with HIV because of her. He held on to her tightly trying to transfer his strength to her. Eventually the crying subsided and she pulled back.

"How long have you known?" she asked him.

"About the suicide?"

"No – her test results."

Patrick shifted slightly in the bed. "A few days."

"Were you ever going to tell me?" she asked quietly.

He nodded. "When the time was right."

She gave a bitter laugh. "The irony there is that there would never be a right time, there would never be a right time to tell me that I have made another person sick – infected her with a disease that will steal her life in little bits and pieces."

"Robin…" Patrick began.

"No really – think about it – when would you have done it? Over dinner? When I got home? Right after the first time I hold Rian in my arms?"

"Robin – that's not fair" Brenda interjected.

"No – what's not fair is that another 17 year old girl feels like her life is over because she has HIV. With all due respect to the four of you, you have no fucking clue what that feels like."

"I was there Robin" Brenda said quietly. "I was there when Stone was diagnosed and I was there when you were – I have some idea." Robert and Anna exchanged worried glances.

"You don't know" she repeated. "Why would she do that? Why would she put herself at risk."

"To save you" Brenda said simply. "She saw you were in trouble and she stepped into save you."

"It's not worth it" she said angrily. "She should have just called 9-1-1 and waited for help."

"You would have died."

"That would be better than this – than having Lulu infected."

Patrick looked at the ground like he had been slapped across the face. Anna stepped forward. "I think this is a very emotional time for all of us and if the rest of you don't mind, I think it's time for some mother/daughter alone time."

Patrick looked up at Anna questioningly and she gave him a small nod. He leaned in to kiss Robin but she turned her head away. Defeated, he got up from the bed and walked to the door. "I'm going to see Rian" he said quietly. "And tell him about the person who saved his and his mom's life. Our son is alive because of Lulu." He walked out the door without looking back. Robert and Brenda followed.

Robin crossed her arms across her chest. "Are you seriously going to lecture me?"

Anna smiled. "Have I ever?" She walked to the bed and sat down beside Robin. "But let's get a few things clear." She looked at her watch. "You get to be as angry as you want for the next hour but then it's over. No regrets, no recriminations, nothing. Lulu is going to need you more than anyone when she wakes up Robin."

"She shouldn't have done it."

"Don't you think by saying that you are dismissing the sacrifice she made? Your life is every bit as precious as the next person's – you don't get to determine its worth and you don't get to tell Lulu that yours was not worth saving. And while we're on the subject" she continued "that young man" pointing to the door Patrick had just exited "has been through the wringer – between you and your child hovering between life and death, the knowledge that Lulu contracted HIV as a result of her actions – he has been carrying the load and you do not get to make him your whipping boy. He is exhausted and scared and he loves you. Telling him that dying would be better than having Lulu infected is a slap in the face to everything he has done. Don't be so glib with his feelings Robin – he doesn't deserve it."

"I thought you said you weren't going to lecture me" she grumbled.

She pulled Robin up into her arms. "Just a tiny one." She kissed the top of her head. "Robin, I can't begin to imagine how you are feeling about this right now but you have an opportunity to repay Lulu."

"Repay her?"

"She saved your life and you can save hers"

"How?" The tears had begun to fall in a steady stream again.

"Robin, my darling, you are proof positive that you can live a full life with this disease. You can fall in love, be loved, have children, have a career – make a difference. I suspect she feels like she's in a free fall and thinks it's all for naught but you – you can be her anchor. You can show her how to live with grace."

"I'm not feeling very graceful at the moment – just guilty."

"Guilt is not a productive emotion – you didn't ask her to do this – she made that choice and I for one am grateful that she did. You can't change what happened but you can show her how to go forward."

Robin snuggled into her mother. "I'm scared – I'm scared for her and for me."

"I know luv – but you have us and she has you and together we will all find a way."

Robin put her head against her mother's chest, listening to her heartbeat. Her eyes widened as she saw Stone standing in the corner, giving her a small smile.

xxxxxx

Robert approached Lulu's ICU room. Lucky and Nikolas were standing outside. "How is she lads?" he asked.

Lucky shook his head. "She's in a coma and on a ventilator. They have no idea when or if she'll wake up."

"If only I had made her talk to me" Nikolas said quietly. "If I had just forced her to talk."

Robert walked closer to him. "Nikolas, she was going to do this no matter how much you made her talk – it was obviously in motion for a long time before it actually happened. You can't beat yourself up, son."

"I just…it's Lulu" he said.

Robert nodded. "Would you mind if I went and sat with her for a few minutes?"

"Sure Robert, go ahead." Lucky said. He and Nikolas had been taking turns consoling each other.

Robert walked into Lulu's room which was eerily quiet except for the steady pumping from the ventilator. Other than the tube in her mouth, she looked peaceful, almost serene. Her wavy blonde hair was spread out around her, almost like a halo. He sat down by her bed and took her hand.

"You look like an angel" he said quietly. "Your dad always thought you were heaven sent." He watched her chest rise and fall and felt his own constrict. "We Spencers and Scorpios have a long history of rescuing each other and what you did for my daughter was continue the tradition. Lulu," he rubbed her hand "there is no way to repay you for what you've done but I'd like to spend the rest of my life trying, so you need to come back to your friends and family. You are going to be okay because you now have an army of people who are going to make sure. I'm going to go find your father – Luke needs to be here and you need him. I'm a poor substitute but if you need me, I'll be here for you." He leaned forward in his chair. "You're a lot like Robin, you know – brave, big hearted and big spirited – you will get through this because you're a survivor and a Spencer and you are loved." He stood up from the chair and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Thank you for saving my daughter. Be well little one." Robert touched her face and headed out the door.


	103. Chapter 103

Chapter 103

Patrick put his hands through the incubator and gently rubbed Rian's hand. "Are you getting sick of me little man?" he smiled as his son moved his head to the other side. "I just wanted to see you - it's been kind of a rough day and seeing you always makes me feel better." He took a deep breath. "Remember how I told you about your mom having accident and that's how you wound up in here? Well there's another part to the story - there's this amazing girl - her name is Lulu -and I'm hoping you'll meet her soon. She did the most incredible thing - without thinking of what it could do to her, she saved your mom and by doing that she saved you. I'm kind of sad now though because Lulu isn't doing very well. But she has to pull through so you can thank her for taking such good care of you and your mom." He kissed his fingers and put them on Rian's hand. "If you have any guardian angels watching over you, can you ask them to look in on her too?"

He sighed. "I have to go but I'll be back soon. I love you Rian." He gave his tiny hand one more squeeze before pulling away from the incubator. He groaned as he stood up, he just never felt rested and every bone in his body ached. Removing his gown, he headed to the door - there was one more stop he needed to make before going back to Robin.

xxxxxx

Knocking on the door, he was surprised when he got no response. Pulling out the key Nathalie had given him, he slid it through the door. He was shocked to see his father pacing the floor with Oliver. "Dad?" he asked.

"I was getting to the door but I tripped over the Lego farm" he said, looking down at Gracie's toys on the floor.

"What are you doing here? Where's Nat?" he closed the door behind him.

"She's lying down. When I came into the ER she looked pretty close to a meltdown and so I offered to bring her home. We picked up the kids and I suggested she go to bed." Noah sat down on the couch, bouncing Oliver on his knee. Patrick sank into the couch beside him.

"Where's Gracie?"

"Wanted to lie down with her mom. She was pretty clingy when Nathalie showed up at Wyndermere."

Patrick nodded. "She's pretty clingy in general these days - she's always afraid someone is going to leave and not come back."

"How did it go with Robin?" Noah asked while making a face to Oliver.

He shrugged. "Who knows - she was reeling and angry and bitter - pretty standard Robin reaction when it feels like she's been kicked in the heart."

"So why are you here and not with her?"

"I just wanted to check on Nat - I swear Dad, I careen from disaster to disaster."

"You can't be responsible for everyone Patrick- you will wear yourself out - your two priorities have to be Robin and Rian."

"Nat needs me too."

"Let me support her for right now and you concentrate on your family."

Patrick closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. "I'm tired" he said simply.

"I know you are Patrick - when was the last time you slept through the night?"

"Would you believe me if I said I have no idea and I'm not even sure what day it is?"

Noah smiled sympathetically. "You need some rest Patrick."

"How can I?"

"Tell you what - Nathalie will be up in a little bit, why don't you go back and talk with Robin and I'll make you something to eat at your place."

"You don't have to cook for me" he protested half heartedly.

"I'll cook and you can have a nice hot shower and then I'll give you a shot and you can go beddie bye."

"Beddie bye?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "And I don't need you to sedate me."

"That's what Nathalie said too but it got her to sleep."

"We'll negotiate that" he said getting up. "But I'm all for dinner - could you make your stuffed chicken dish?"

"With portobellos and blue cheese?"

"That's the one."

Noah smiled. "For you, anything."

"Please tell Nathalie I was here - I don't want her to think that I'm so self-absorbed I didn't recognize what this all meant to her."

"Patrick, she is your friend, you two don't need to explain yourselves but I will let her know."

"Thanks." Patrick stopped with his hand on the door and turned back to face him. "Dad?"

"Yeah sport?" he asked looking up from the couch.

Patrick nodded to Oliver. "That looks good on you."

xxxxx

Patrick stood in the doorway of Robin's room and watched her sleep. He was always amazed at just how peaceful she looked. It was one of the many things that amazed him about her; no matter how stressed or overwhelmed she was, somehow through sleep she was restored.

"Are you just going to keep staring at me or are you actually coming in - I promise not to bite" she said lightly with her eyes still closed.

Patrick let out a small laugh. "How did you know it was me?"

"I always know when you're around - I can sense you."

"Oh really?"

She smiled and opened her eyes. "You better believe it."

Patrick kicked the door closed and walked towards her bed. Pulling her covers back, he got in with her and wrapped her up in his arms. She snuggled in closely to him. "I'm sorry" she said quietly.

"You don't need to apologize"

"I do - my very wise mother pointed out that I really have no business making you my whipping boy and she's right."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner but truthfully, I think I kept finding reasons not to because I didn't want it to be true."

Robin nodded her head against his chest. "Me either. How is she?"

"I checked her chart before coming here - she's stable and her vitals are getting stronger."

Robin sighed deeply. "She saved my life."

"She did"

"I'm devastated that she's positive - Patrick it hurts so much."

He could feel her hot tears drop on to his shirt. Patrick stroked her hair and kissed her head. "I know it does - I still don't believe it."

"We have to help her" she said firmly.

"We will - any way we can."

They lay in the silence, holding each other for strength and comfort. "There's something I need to tell you" Robin said, breaking the quiet.

"Uh-oh - is this where you complain about my sweatervests again?" he teased.

She slapped him lightly on the chest. "Smartass. I'm trying to be serious and you're cracking jokes?"

"I'm sorry baby, I keep forgetting that I'm supposed to be serious and you crack the jokes."

Robin giggled. "Honestly you are impossible."

"Now you know from experience that I am quite possible."

"Not only possible but cheap too."

"Hey!" he protested. "I am NOT cheap - but I am on special this week."

"Always with the witty comeback."

"You like me for my wit."

"Uh, no - I like you in spite of your wit."

"Fine" he pretended to pout.

"Now that you've had your Vegas dinnershow moment can I get back to what I was trying to say?"

Patrick kissed the top of her head. "Of course you can - go ahead."

"I just want to tell you how much I love you. This is has been so hard between the accident and Rian being premature and now Lulu but through it all, you've been this amazing rock - I know you must have been tempted to run but you didn't - you stayed and you've fought for us and you've taken care of us and I just don't know how I got to be so lucky. You are so much more than I ever imagined possible and my heart is full because of you"

Patrick's eyes filled with tears and he opened his mouth to reply but found he had no voice. Instead, he tilted her head up to him and gently pressed his lips against hers. She opened them and slid her tongue out to meet his. Running her hands over his chest, she pushed his lips further apart, deepening the kiss. He nipped at her lips before finally breaking apart.

"I love you Robin" he whispered against her lips.

"Can you do one more thing for me tonight?"

"Anything"

"I'll need the chair."

Patrick extricated himself from their tangled limbs and brought the chair into the chair. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Robin pressed herself against him as he lifted her from the bed and placed her in the chair. Bending down, he readjusted the foot plates and they headed out of the room. They both stopped at the entrance of the room, not quite believing the sight in front of them. Patrick wheeled her as closely as he could to the bed and stepped back.

Robin picked up Lulu's hand and interlaced her fingers with the young girl's. "Hi Lulu. We always joked that we were spy kid sisters - I guess now we have another bond."


	104. Chapter 104

Chapter 104

Robin turned back and looked at Patrick. "Can you help me?" she asked, motioning to the bed. Patrick nodded and walked to her, gently lifting her and placing her in the bed next to Lulu.

Giving Robin a quick buss on the lips, he tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'll be outside."

Robin nodded never taking her eyes from Lulu. She took her hand again and brought it to her lips. "Oh Lulu" she said quietly. "How do I even begin to thank you for what you've done?" She let out a deep sigh. "You know, you are the very best parts of your mom and your dad. You have Laura's kindness and unfailing compassion and you have Luke's enviable bravery and courage. You go where angels fear to tread." Robin brushed Lulu's hair from her face. "I am so very sorry and if I could take this from you, I would. I understand how scary this all is and that it's easier to give in – there's no shame in that you know and people who say otherwise are talking out of their asses. But it gets better – I promise that it does and if you wake up, I'll show you. Lulu, the world needs more of you – of your spirit – I know that I do and Nikolas and Lucky do too. My baby boy is alive because of you and he needs you around so that he can see what a hero looks like." Robin kissed her cheek. "I promise you're not alone and I will be here with you every step of the way. Come back to us Lulu because we aren't ready to let you go – there are more adventures to come – more belly laughs – more rescuing our fathers." Robin put her hand over Lulu's heart. "When you have a heart as big as you do it can't be stopped by something like this – so you rest for now and when you're ready, I'll be here." Robin lay her head down on the bed beside Lulu and closed her eyes.

Nikolas and Lucky saw Patrick standing outside Lulu's room and rushed towards him. "Did something happen?" Lucky asked urgently.

Patrick shook his head. "No. We told Robin today about Lulu and she wanted to come see her – I hope that's okay?"

Nikolas nodded. "Of course. Maybe Robin can convince her to fight – she can be very persuasive" he said, thinking back to her efforts to teach him to talk after his gunshot injury as a teenager.

Patrick smiled. "Persuasive and really, a bit of a bully."

All three men laughed. For Nikolas and Lucky it was the first light moment they had since Lulu had been admitted.

"Patrick" Lucky began "Is there any insight you can give us?"

He looked off to the side before looking back at the brothers. "I've read her chart and her vitals are stable and getting stronger and while she had lost consciousness, it doesn't appear that she ever stopped breathing so the likelihood of brain damage is minimal."

"So she's going to wake up" Nikolas stated.

"Well…there is quite a bit of research that indicates that all things being equal medically, the patient has to have a desire to wake up. They often find with parents they will fight to survive because of their children."

"You're saying she needs to have something to live for?" Lucky clarified.

"More like she needs to be reminded that she has something to live for." He jammed his hands in his pockets. "I believe that coma patients can hear the voices of their loved ones and I think when you guys are in with her, it may not be a bad idea to talk to her, remind her that you love her and that you want her to fight."

"Is her…is her HIV going to be affected by this?" Lucky said, turning to look at her room.

"No – the staff is ensuring she stays on protocol through her i.v. and I'm sure they'll be checking her viral load on a regular basis and make any necessary adjustments."

"Do you think she's going to survive?" Nikolas asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Patrick pursed his lips together. "I sure hope so Nik because Robin and I have a lot to thank her for." Looking through the window to Lulu's room, he saw that Robin's eyes were closed. "If you guys will excuse me, I think it's time I got Robin back to her room."

Patrick walked into Lulu's room and touched Robin gently on the shoulder. "Ready to go?" he asked quietly. She nodded. He scooped her up and put her in the chair to take her back to her room. Before leaving, he placed a small kiss on Lulu's cheek. "Hang in there kid – we need you."

He wheeled Robin back to her room and placed her in the bed, tucking in her blankets around her. She reached up and touched his face. "You look tired."

"I am a little" he admitted.

"Are you going home now?"

He nodded. "My dad has offered to cook dinner for me, so if you're okay with it, I think I'll do that."

"Of course I'm okay with it. I just wish it was me taking care of you."

He bent down and hovered over her lips. "I'll let you take care of me later, right now it's me taking care of you." He opened his lips over hers, drinking her in. No matter how difficult or stressful things became, her touch, the taste of her, made it all disappear and all he could think of was her. "I love you and I'll be back tomorrow."

"I love you too."

Patrick walked to the door and turned to look at her one more time before finally heading home to his father's cooking and his own bed.

xxxxxx

"Mommy – door!" Grace yelled as she ran to the door and pulled it open. "Hi!" she said brightly.

"Hi Gracie, is your mom in?"

"Grace Lousie Walker how many times have I told you not to open the door unless I am with you" she said coming from the bedroom. "You have no idea what kind of freak could be on the other" the words died on her lips. "Oh my" she said, feeling her face flush crimson.

"Nikolas Cassidine, freak – at your service" he smiled.

"I am so sorry" she said, suddenly aware of her hair in a ponytail and the battered jeans and old rugby shirt she was wearing. "Come on in. Grace – did you say hello to Nikolas?"

"Hi Nikolas" she said firmly.

He bent down at eye level. "Hi Gracie – how are you?"

"Fine – Clifford is on"

"Do you like Clifford?"  
"Yeah – 'cause he's red – I wish I was red"

"You'd look pretty funny if you were" he teased.

"Sweetie" Nathalie interjected. "Why don't you go finish watching Clifford with Oliver in the bedroom?"

"Kay – bye" she said running to the bedroom.

"I'm sorry I didn't call first" he said standing up.

"That's fine – come in – have a seat. Would you like some coffee? I can have room service bring some coffee – I think it's Starbucks coffee – oh god, I am rambling."

Nikolas smiled. "It's kind of cute actually."

She blushed a second time as they sat on the couch. "How is your sister?"

"She had a good night and Patrick seems to think she's doing well – she's not awake yet but I'm hopeful that will happen soon."

"Were you there all night?"

He nodded. "I just went home to change and thought I would stop by on my way back to the hospital." He took a quiet breath. "How are you?"

"I'm fine" she said cheerily. "Sorry that I left without saying anything yesterday but you seemed to have your hands full with friends and family and I didn't want to get in the way and I would have called but I knew you were busy and I didn't want to disturb you." Nathalie was mentally kicking herself for her apparent inability to stop talking in run-on sentences.

Nikolas put his hand over hers. "Patrick told me" he said quietly.

Her eyes widened. "Told you what?"

He looked over to the bedroom door and saw that it was closed over. "About the circumstances around your husband's death – Nathalie, I am so sorry I can only imagine how difficult that was for you yesterday."

She shook her head "It was difficult for you – that's your sister, Nik."

"That doesn't mean it didn't stir up some very painful emotions. I can't tell you how grateful I am for everything you did – from reviving Lulu to holding my hand" he squeezed her. "I don't think I could have made it through those first few hours without you."

"I was glad to help" she said, not quite meeting his eyes.

"So you didn't answer my question"

"Which question?" she asked.

"How are you?"

"Well, it's as we talked about over dinner – when you're grieving a death you have good days and bad days."

"Yesterday was a bad day."

She nodded. "Yesterday was a bad day."

"Can I help?" He unconsciously began to play with her ponytail.

"I think your plate is pretty full" she said, trying to ignore the tingling in her body as he touched her hair.

"I have a big plate – there is room for you" he said quietly.

Nathalie closed her eyes and took a deep breath, placing her hand on his chest. "What's happening between us?"

He swallowed hard. "I'm not sure but I do know I spend a lot of time thinking about you."

"Me too" she said hoarsely.

"And I know it's wrong but in those few moments I wasn't thinking about Lulu yesterday, I was thinking about how nice it was to kiss you." He stroked her cheek with his thumb.

"Don't let this polished exterior fool you" she joked quietly "I am actually a bit of a mess."

"I know." He gazed deeply at her. "I know you're dealing with a lot and if you want me to back off, I will."

Nathalie smiled. "I'm not sure what it says about me, but I don't want you to back off."

"Good" he said whispered.

"But Nik, I can't promise that I won't freak out at some point – I can't conceive of a relationship right now."

"We'll cross the freak out bridge if we get to it – I just want to spend time with you."

"Okay" she said slowly as he leaned in.

He kissed her lips with such tenderness that for a brief moment, she thought she might faint. Slowly letting go of her lips, he smiled at her. "I should go"

"Yeah." She got up from the couch and walked him to the door still holding his hand.

"Is it okay if I call you later?"

"Absolutely. I hope Lulu wakes up today."

"Me too" he nodded. He brushed his lips against hers. "I'll talk to you soon."


	105. Chapter 105

Chapter 105

"Knock knock" Brenda said, poking her head through Robin's door.

"Hey!" she said, tossing her magazine to the side. "What is that amazing smell?"

Brenda looked over her shoulder before sliding inside Robin's room and closing the door behind her. "One grande white chocolate mocha" She held out the coffee.

"With whipped cream?" Robin asked, her eyes growing wide.

"Please. Is there any other way?"

Robin took the coffee in her hands and brought it to her nose, inhaling the intoxicatingly rich scent. "I've missed you" she said.

"You're talking to the coffee aren't you?" Brenda asked as she took a seat.

"You better believe I am" she smiled. "Have you missed me? Oh, I am going to enjoy you."

"Do you always talk to your coffee or is that a result of that blow to the head."

"Um - I don't think you actually get to judge me Miss 'I sleep with every new Prada handbag I buy'"

"Hey! I only do that the first time they come home so they aren't lonely being away from all the other pretty Prada bags in the store."

"I'm just saying, on the weirdness scale - you're off the Richter."

Brenda laughed. "I think you're feeling better."

Robin reached for her hand. "I'm sorry I snapped at you yesterday."

Brenda shook her head. "Nuh-uh - no way - you and I don't do 'I'm sorrys'. You have a free pass with me and you know that."

"I spoke to her last night, I told her I would be here when she woke up to help her through."

Brenda gave her a small smile. "She'll be lucky to have her." Cocking her head to one side, she studied her face. "What's going on in the supersized brain of yours."

"Nothing - just thinking about Lulu."

"You understand that Patrick may be the great love of your life but I know you inside and out and whatever it is you're thinking about, it's not Lulu - Robs what's up?"

"What if I'm a terrible mother?"

Brenda choked on her coffee. "Why on earth would you think you're going to be a terrible mother?"

She shook her head. "It's stupid."

"I don't care - tell me."

"I don't know how to be a mom Bren - I'm not sure I know how to change a diaper - I mean I've changed diapers but never my own kid's. And what about feeding him - what if I don't know what he wants to eat...what if he's crying for something and I can't figure out what it is that he needs?"

Brenda giggled. "Robin that doesn't make you a terrible mom that makes you a NEW mom. You think other mothers leave the hospital with their kids knowing everything they need to do?"

"Don't they?"

"You have obviously been coffee deprived for too long and cobwebs have formed."

"Don't laugh at me" she pleaded laughing at herself.

"Don't you think Patrick has the same fears - he doesn't have a clue either."

"But Brenda, he's a genius, everything comes easily to him - he'll probably have it all figured out. I don't want to let him down."

Brenda took her hand. "It's not a competition - you and Patrick will figure this out together." She gave her hand a squeeze. "I'd offer to help but you understand this is so far outside my field of expertise" she joked.

Robin laughed. "I know - when I want to have the best dressed boy in playschool you're my first call."

"Good. Look, I'm going to let you rest - I'll be back later." She stood up and leaning in, gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Love you lots!"

"Me too Brenda."

Brenda winked and headed out the door. Once clear of Robin's room, she pulled her cell phone from her pocket and dialed Nathalie's number. "Hey Nat - it's Brenda. Give me a call when you get this because we need to plan a joint baby shower for our favourite couple. Laters."

"You aren't going to be a terrible mother."

Robin turned her head. "Stone, how did I know you would show up?" she said quietly.

"I'm always here."

"I don't understand why you're here."

"Because I miss you - I'm here because this way we can be like we used to be - we can talk and laugh - I can be a part of your life and love you."

"Can...can anyone else see you?"

He shook his head. "No one else loves me like you do - you're the only one who can see me. You do still love me don't you?"

"Of course" she said hoarsely. "You were my first taste of love - the sweetest taste of love."

"You can't tell anyone you see me though."

"Why not? Maybe Sonny could see you or Brenda even?"

"No - they can't know Robin or they will try and take me away - you don't want me to go away do you?"

She shook her head. "No."

He smiled warmly. "Good - me either. Remember the popcorn fight we got into...remember how..." Stone's voice trailed off as a nurse came into the room. Robin looked at the nurse and then looked back to where he was standing. Stone was gone.

xxxxx

Anna opened the door to Lulu's room and sat down at her bedside. She picked up her hand and cradled it within her own. "Poor little duck" she said quietly. "You poor little duck." She brushed her hair off her face. "I would know you anywhere - you look just like your mother. I never really knew Laura but I know your dad so well and he talked about her all the time that I feel like I know her. I wish she could be here for you. You must have been so scared to make a descision like you did and I bet you wanted to talk to your mom about it. You were too young to remember but I wasn't around when Robin found out about her HIV. She wanted her mom too. Moms are pretty special - they can make almost everything better with a kiss and a reminder that they love you know matter what." Anna wiped at the tears that had formed in her eyes. "Robin had to depend on others in her life to get her through and Lulu they did an amazing job - they loved her, they supported her and they stood in for me when I couldn't be here in her darkest hour. So this is my promise to you - you wake up little one and I will stand in for your mother. I'll be your shelter from the coming storms and I promise I'll keep you safe. Together - your brothers, Robin, Patrick, your father- all of us will be right by your side and if you're too tired to walk, we can carry you. You're not alone Lulu -you just need to wake up and see how much you're loved." She leaned over and kissed her cheek. Sitting back in the chair, she held onto Lulu's hand. She had always felt there would come a time when she would be asked to repay the kindness that others showed to her daughter when she needed it most. Anna had actually thought through different situations that those moments were the ones to redress the balance but she realized now that they were just preparation for this moment. She couldn't be a mother to her child when she needed it but now, if Lulu would let her, was ready to be so to another child in need.

"Am I interrupting?"

The quiet voice pulled her from her thoughts. Turning her head, she smiled as Nikolas Cassidine filled the doorway. She rose from the chair and walked over to him. "Nikolas, I'm..."

"Anna Devane, Robin's mother" he smiled.

"I saw you come in the other day and even if I hadn't, you and Robin are the spitting image of each other. It's nice to finally meet you."

"And you - my daughter thinks very highly of you."

"It's a mutual admiration society." He stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Thank you for visiting with Lulu."

She smiled. "I needed to - your sister is brave beyond words and her actions have blessed my family. I intend to be here for her, if she wants it."

Nikolas nodded. "I see where Robin gets her compassion from as well."

Anna chuckled. "Not quite - I get my compassion from Robin - she has spent her lifetime teaching me about taking care of others." She put a hand on Nikolas' arm. "Is there anything I can do?"

"That's kind - I think you're doing it - all of you - Patrick, Robin, Robert and now you have been so kind..." Nikolas' words stopped as moaning could be heard from the bed.

Both looked over and saw Lulu's eyes flutter and struggle until they opened fully.


	106. Chapter 106

Chapter 106

"Lulu?" Nikolas rushed to her side. Her eyes opened and darted around the room, unfocused. "Lulu?" he took her hand. "Can you hear me?"

"I'll go get a doctor" Anna said, running into the hall.

"Lulu, honey - it's okay - you're in the hospital." Nikolas felt his eyes fill with tears unexepctedly. Her eyes closed again and her head lolled to the side. "Come on Lu, please? Please let me see your gorgeous blue eyes."

The doctor came rushing in with Anna following behind. "Excuse me" he said pushing Nikolas out of the way. Anna reached for him and pulled him out of the way. She stood, with her arm around him, and watched as the doctor examined Lulu. "Wake up - Lulu, open your eyes." Though it was a struggle, Lulu managed to open her eyes. The doctor flashed the pen light in her eyes. "Good - that's good. Can you squeeze my fingers?" Lulu took hold of his fingers and did as he asked. "Do you know where you are?"

Lulu nodded slightly and pointed to the tube in her mouth.

"We have you on a vent to take some of the burden off your body while you recover. I'm going to remove the vent in a couple of minutes - your throat is going to be pretty sore for a while so try not to talk too much." He turned to Nikolas and Anna. "She's responding very well. We're going to remove the vent, watch her tonight and if all goes well, we'll move her from ICU to general medicine tomorrow."

"Any side effects?" Nikolas asked, unable to take his eyes from Lulu.

"It doesn't appear that there are any. We'll know more over the coming days. I'll be back in a minute to remove the vent." He headed for the door.

"Would you like me to stay?" Anna asked quietly.

Nikolas nodded "Please."

She smiled warmly. "Of course."

He walked to Lulu and sat on her bed, taking both of her hands in his. "I'm so glad you're awake." She looked at him with teary, wide eyes. He reached out and lovingly touched her face. "It's okay Lulu - you're going to be fine."

The doctor returned with a nurse and Nikolas moved out of the way. Moving Lulu into a sitting position, they got her to blow out while they removed the tube. Lulu flopped back against the pillows, eyes tearing. The doctor put a couple of ice chips between her lips. "Suck on these. Do not try to talk too much. You're still going to be tired and sleepy for a while. I'll be back to check on you in a little while."

Lulu stared at the bed, aware that Nikolas was staring at her. She took several deep breaths, shocked at how battered her body felt. Finally lifting her eyes to meet Nikolas', she was nearly overwhelmed by the love she found in them. "I'm sorry" she croaked.

Nikolas bit his lip to keep from crying as he pulled her into his arms. "All that matters is you're okay now." Lulu melted against his shoulder and began to cry, a nearly silent, hoarse cry. He rubbed her back and stroked her hair. "It's okay Lu - I love you so much - you're my baby sister and I don't know what I would do without you." Nikolas started to relax as he felt his sister's breathing become clamer.

"I'm tired" she squeaked.

"I know Lu. It's okay - lay back and close your eyes." He lovingly laid her against her pillow. "I'll be back in a couple of minutes."

"Promise?"

"I promise." He kissed the top of her head before walking out with Anna.

Anna put her arm around him. "How are you holding up Nikolas?"

"Much better now that she's awake" he sighed.

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

He smiled gratefully. "You have done so much already. I'm just going to call a couple of people and then go and sit with her for a while longer. Would you please tell Robin that Lulu is awake and she seems to be okay?"

"I certainly will - Robin will be thrilled." She gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "As am I."

"Thank you Anna."

Nikolas pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes trying desperately to keep his emotions in check. Lulu was not out of the woods yet and would need his complete support if she were going to fully recover. This was no time for him to lose his legendary Cassadine cool. After speaking with Lucky and Elizabeth, he stared at his phone for several minutes before taking a deep breath and dialing.

"Nathalie Walker" came the throaty voice.

Nikolas couldn't stop from smiling. "Why do you answer the phone like you're at the office?"

Nathalie let out a small laugh. "Creature of habit I suppose. How are you Nik?"

"I have some really good news and I wanted to share it with you." He rolled his eyes at how much he sounded like a teenager.

"What is it?" she asked excitedly.

"Lulu is awake and she seems fine" he exhaled.

"Oh Nikolas -that is just fantastic news - I am so pleased for you."

"Thanks - me too. I'm going to go back in and sit with her but I just wanted to let you know" he said quietly.

"I'm so glad you did. I'm really, really happy for you."

"I'll talk to you later."

"Bye Nik."

He snapped his phone shut and remained continually surprised at how even a short conversation with Nathalie seemed to lift his spirits. He dropped his phone into his pocket and went back to sit with his sister.

xxxxxx

"Are you up for a visitor?"

Robin smiled. "Hi Noah. Come on in."

"It's nice to see some colour back in your cheeks" he said as he closed the door behind him.

"It's nice to have colour back in my cheeks."

He sat down in the chair. "I was just spending some time with my grandson, I think he is the most handsome boy in the entire hospital" he beamed.

"I admire your objectivity" she teased. "I would have to agree - Rian is a beautiful boy."

"I was speaking with Dr. Trudel and he's quite pleased with the progress Rian is making - he should be off the vent in a week or so."

"I can't wait to hold him in my arms Noah. It feels like I'm missing something and I think that's it."

Noah smiled. "The first time you hold your own child in your arms, it's like a whole new world opens up."

"Was that what it was like when you held Patrick?"

"Oh yes" he said, his voice thickening with emotion. "I had always been a selfish guy, worried about my career and um...er..."

"Chasing skirts?" she offered helpfully.

Noah blushed slightly. "Sure - chasing skirts. Then I met Mattie and that changed part of my world but when I held Patrick everything changed. I didn't know it was possible to love another human being like that - it wasn't like the romantic love I felt for his mother, it was just that innate knowledge that I would do anything for him and kill anyone who hurt him." He blinked back several tears. "The irony is that I was the one who hurt him in the end."

"He still loves you Noah" she said softly.

He nodded. "I know and it some ways that makes it harder because if I had succeded in driving him away then I would have felt that I got what I deserved. But instead he loves me still in spite of it all. Of course you played a large role in that"

"Not that large - you guys just needed a little push."

"A little push?" he raised his eyebrows.

"Okay, so a giant kick in the ass but really, it's semantics" she teased.

"My son lucked out when he met you."

Robin looked down at her hands before looking back at him. "We both lucked out Noah - your son is a truly amazing man and I am lucky that he chose to love me."

"He didn't choose to love you Robin - you are a force of nature for him - he couldn't not love you - it was just meant to be." He picked up the chart in his hands. "I almost forgot, I'm actually here for work reasons."

"Work reasons? What's up?"

"Well I reviewed your films this afternoon and checked your latest vitals and if you're ready, I think we can send you home tomorrow."

"If?" she squealed. "If?? I am DYING to go home" she clapped her hands together. "Oh Noah -that's the most amazing news!! Have you told Patrick?"

He grinned. "Nah - I thought you might want to be the bearer of good news."

"We're due for a little good news - I'm going to call him right now. Thank you Noah."

Noah stood up and gave her hand a squeeze. "I'll get to work on your paperwork" he headed to the door.

"Noah" she called out suddenly. He raised his eyebrows. "Is he okay?"

"Patrick?"

She nodded. "I just - I'm worried that it's been a lot for him and now with me coming home, maybe...maybe it's better for him if I stay here for a while."

Noah came back to her bedside. "Robin" he said softly. "Patrick is a lot stronger than you think but more than that - he's competely in love with you and having you home will be the best thing for him and for you."

She smiled shyly. "Thanks Noah."

"Robin, whatever doubts you have and doubts are normal after trauma add to that you're a new mom, don't doubt that his love for you. I know my son and though he may have resisted love in the past, he's all the way in now." He grinned. "And for the record, I couldn't be happier."

xxxxx

Bruce sat up in the bed, moving his wrist around in the handcuff. He couldn't remember how many days it had been since Robert had been by - he seemed to think it was three but he wasn't sure, it could be more. His hunger had been reduced to a dull, consistent ache and he had become immune to his own smell. He twisted his wrist and tried to push the cuff over his hand. He had lost so much wait in the time he had been held captive that it almost worked. Examining his wrist, he realized if he broke his wrist, he would be able to slide the cuff right off. He cradled his left hand with his right one and took a deep breath. With a sickening snap, his wrist fell to the side. Bruce let out a blood curdling scream as he did so. Sweat pooled on his forehead and he panted trying to push through the feeling of red hot pokers being held to his wrist. Still breathing heavily, he began to cry as he pulled to cuff over his wrist - he was free. Then everything went black as he passed out.


	107. Chapter 107

Chapter 107

"Are you up for a visit from your mother?" Anna asked, pushing the door open.

Robin put down the newspaper she was reading. "Of course I am – I have some great news" she said smiling.

"As do I – you first" Anna said, sitting on her daughter's bed.

"I'm going home tomorrow - home, Mom – I'm going home."

Anna wrapped her daughter in a warm hug. "Oh luv, I am so happy for you. Does Patrick know?"

She shook her head. "I just left him a message asking him to come by the hospital when he can. But by this time tomorrow, I'll be at home, in my own bed with Patrick. All I'm missing is my son."

Anna smiled warmly. "He will follow soon enough."

"I finally feel like I'm coming out of the woods, that everything is getting back on track." She squeezed her mother's hand. "You said you had good news too – what is it?"

"Lulu is awake."

Robin's mouth fell open. "Oh mom – oh" she stammered. "Is she okay?"

Anna nodded. "She seems to be. Nikolas is with her now – he's a very nice young man, you know."

"I told you but you couldn't get past him being a Cassadine." Robin smiled. "Everything is working out – Lulu is awake and now she can start recovering. I'm going home, it's all good."

"Darling, I'm very pleased with how you've taken the news about Lulu – it could have knocked you down but it didn't."

Robin shrugged. "Whatever." She picked up the newspaper. "It looks like Bruce is out of the Senate race too."

Anna looked at her daughter quizzically, still processing her comment, before taking the paper from her. Flipping it over, she saw the headline.

**Senate hopeful in Italian looney bin – says he has no interest in politics and will be devoting his life to God.**

Anna frowned as she read the story of his disappearance and how he sent one email message to his staff letting them know he was safe but no longer interested in pursuing the seat in the Senate. "That's strange, don't you think?" she asked.

"Why? He was a bit unstable Mom – he kept trying to convince himself that Rian was his."

"But that he would just throw it all away – after he sacrificed so much to get where he was, including himself."

"Maybe that was the issue – maybe he gave up more than he could afford to lose and it put him over the edge."

Anna reread the story and felt a certain unease with it. Somehow she just need her ex-husband had a role in this. What that role was remained a mystery – for now.

xxxxxx

Nathalie laughed as Brenda flew into Kelly's. There was always such a hive of activity around her wherever she went. She envied her but also thought it must be exhausting to live her life.

"Did you bring supplies?" Brenda asked, sliding into the chair across from Nathalie.

"By supplies do you mean a pen and a pad of paper?"

"A pen and a pad of paper? God – being a lawyer is simple isn't it? That's okay though, I brought enough for both of us" she said, reaching into her oversized bag and retrieving several colours of pens, sticky notes and two binders already full of information. She passed one to Nathalie.

"Were you a dictator in a former life?" she asked teasingly.

"I like to be organized."

"I can see that" she said in wonderment as she opened the binder. The information was already tabbed including sections on the guest list, gifts, games and food. "So where do we start?"

"Well, I would say let's hold it at their house but honestly, Robin has been cooped up in the hospital and going home today means she'll be stuck there for a while – so let's go out."

"Where to?"

"Well there's a private dining room at the Metrocourt that holds about 40 people and I used to be with Jax, the owner, so he'll do this for us."

"I thought you used to be with Sonny" she said, confused.

"Yeah, him too." Brenda flipped open her binder. "I'll take care of the location and the food if you want to do the decorations and setting up the gift registry."

"Brenda – you realize you want this done in a week, right? The date you've picked is a week from today?"

"Oh – do you think I've left it too long?"

Nathalie laughed. "Er – just the opposite actually."

Brenda brushed her off. "It will be fine. Okay, so if you turn to Tab 3, you'll see I've outlined the potential guests, now we don't want just any riff raff - this is Robin and Patrick we're talking about." Nathalie flipped to the appropriate section in the binder and they began to review the list.

Three cups of coffee later, they were almost finished their planning. Brenda had just closed her binder and was turning to flag Georgie down for the bill when Nikolas approached their table.

"Good afternoon ladies" he said to both of them, smiling brightly at Nathalie.

"Hey Nik" Brenda greeted cheerily. "Nathalie told me about Lulu, that's great news! How is she today?"

"She's doing well, thanks. Lucky stayed with her overnight and I'm just picking up some coffee to take the afternoon shift."

"Robin's coming home today" Brenda stated "And Nathalie and I are planning the baby shower for both her and Patrick. I expect you to be there."

"You'll have to forgive my co-planner" Nathalie said, finding her voice. "She's a bit bossy."

"A bit?" Nikolas asked. "The Brenda Barrette I knew growing up was a lot bossy. Don't tell me you're mellowing Brenda?"

"Please" she snorted. "Mellowing is for suckers. Anyway – I expect you to be there Princey baby."

"I wouldn't miss it – I'll even bring Spencer." He turned to Nathalie. "I assume you're bringing Grace and Oliver?"

She nodded, trying desperately to stop from blushing. "Grace would be furious if she knew there was a party involving Patrick and she wasn't there."

"Great" he smiled warmly. "I look forward to seeing you both there" he said, winking at Nathalie before he left.

Brenda's mouth fell open. "Oh.my.god – Nikolas likes you, I mean he LIKES you."

Nathalie blushed furiously. "It's nothing – we've just hung out a few times – with our kids around, I might add."

"But he LIKES you."

"You need to stop saying that – please?"

"Fine" Brenda said, packing up her things. "But he likes you."

xxxxx

"Oh Brucie boy – did you miss me?" Robert called as he opened the door. Bruce quickly slipped his aching hand back in the handcuff, stifling a groan as he did so. He broke out into a cold sweat as Robert descended the stairs, dressed completely in black. Attempting to sit up, he was knocked back down as Robert drove his fist into his cheek. Bruce yelped in pain. "You have no idea what you've done – do you Brucie boy? It wasn't enough that you humiliated my daughter and got her killed but now you've got my best friend's daughter infected with HIV all because she tried to fix the damage you did."

Bruce tried to open his mouth to speak but was met with blinding pain as he did so. "Sorry" he managed to croak.

"Sorry? You're sorry? You don't even know what sorry is – but you will" he said, slapping him hard against the back of the head. He tossed down the newspaper with story of his sojourn to an Italian mental facility. "Are you hungry?" Robert pulled a tupperware container, filled with meat in a gravy sauce from his bag and tossed at him. "I wouldn't eat it all at once because I'm going away for a few days and I'd hate for you to die of hunger before I can kill you myself."

Bruce pried off the top of the container, carefully concealing the state of his cuffed wrist. "Fork?" he asked.

Robert laughed. "You're an animal – eat like one."

Bruce choked back his tears and began to scoop the food up with his fingers. It tasted salty and sour but he was so hungry that he continued to shovel it in. Robert pulled out an empty can and set it down on the table by his bed.

"You are what you eat" he said. "Be a good boy Brucie – try not to miss me too much." And with that, Robert got up and bounded up the stairs. Bruce looked over to the table and saw the opened can of dog food. Looking back at his container, he vomited into it. Waiting until he heard the click of the lock, he pushed the container to the side and gingerly removed his hand from the cuff. He needed to find a way out.

xxxxx

Robin pulled her sweatpants over her legs. Though one was still in an immobilizer, she was regaining enough movement in the other that she was being sent home with crutches. Home. The mere thought of it filled her with joy. She had only been in the hospital for two weeks but it had felt like two years. She had come in as a pregnant woman but was leaving as a mother. Her only reticence about leaving was that she would be further away from Rian. Patrick had promised they would visit him three times a day while she continued to recover and would increase their visits as she got stronger. Dr. Trudel had told her that he expected they would be able to hold him in another week or so and that had made Robin cry. She could feel him in her arms – it was as though she knew the sensation of his weight, the movement of his limbs – she knew what it felt like to hold him, she had just never done it.

Bringing Rian home was the final piece of the puzzle for her. Her relationship with Patrick was solid, they had built a home and were building a community of friends. They trusted each with their hearts and both had respected the gift. All they needed was their son and they would be complete. It was everything she had looked for her entire life. There was a time when she thought it would never happen and just when she had given up, Patrick appeared.

"Going home?"

"Stone." Robin said, looking over to the side. "I am – it's great. I was just thinking that I have everything – I have the life I'm supposed to have."

"The life you were supposed to have with me" he said quietly.

"I know" she admitted sadly "but Patrick is wonderful, if you could meet him you would like him."

"He's my replacement."

"No" she said. "No one can replace you but you left me."

"I'm here now."

"Are you coming home with me?"

"I'm wherever you want me to be."

"Stone, I think I need to tell Patrick about you."

He shook his head violently. "If you do, he'll make me go away – do you want me to go away?"

"No but Stone…."

Patrick opened the door. "Who are you talking to?"

Robin paled. "No one."

"Really? I thought I heard you say Stone" he said, bussing her lips.

She smiled. "No –I said home – I'm ready to go home."

Patrick beamed. "Good – let's go."


	108. Chapter 108

Chapter 108

Patrick wheeled her into the NICU and straight to Rian's incubator. Robin's hands went straight to his. "Hi my beautiful boy" she said quietly. Patrick walked to the other side of the incubator and held Rian's other hand. "Do you think he knows it's us?" Robin looked over at Patrick.

"Of course he does – don't you little man? You know your momma and your dad because no one loves you like we do."

Robin smiled. "We're a bit of an unconventional family, aren't we?"

Patrick grinned at her over the incubator. "There is nothing about us that has ever been conventional – why start now?"

"Good point. Okay listen up Rian – I won't say it often but on occasion – on rare occasions – your dad can be right. But it happens like once a year so don't expect it to happen again until late 2007."

Patrick stuck his tongue out at her. "Rian, son – your mother is a lovely woman, she's bright and talented and loves you very much. She is a terrible comedian and if it's the only thing I do, I will ensure you develop the Drake sense of humour, not the Scorpio one."

"Your father thinks he's a comedian but really no one has the heart to tell him how lame his jokes are."

"Lame? You redefine lame" Patrick protested.

"Clearly you forget that I'm the cool one in this relationship"

"Cool? Please –if your definition of cool is dressing like a wannabe J.Crew model and quoting research statistics" he teased.

"Right, as opposed to permanent bed head and sweatervests…"

"I knew it!! I knew you couldn't go a whole day without talking about my sweatervests." He turned his attention back to his son. "Rian, what your mother fails to understand is that sweatervests finish off a look – they let you look dressy without being stuffy. As soon as we can, we will find some sweatervests for you too."

Robin rolled here eyes. "Baby, I think we will let your godmother decide what clothes are cool for you to wear."

"Whatever" he gently squeezed Rian's hand. "Just remember, Mommy spends all day in a lab with beakers and liquids, Daddy gets to cut people open using power tools – I am SO much cooler than your Mom."

"Okay – we're going to change the subject before we traumatize him completely."

"Traumatize? I consider it toughening up."

Robin smiled at her boyfriend. Life had taken some very unexpected turns but where she had wound up was truly amazing. "Rian, baby – mommy is going home today. It means I get to sleep in my own bed with daddy but it also means I won't get to see you as often – I'll still come three times a day but I just wanted you to know so that you don't wonder where I am."

Patrick listened to her and felt enveloped by warmth. He had always, instinctively, known that Robin would make a good mother but to see it in action, to witness it with his child moved him beyond words.

"We also have something for you" Robin said "So that you don't miss us too much when we're not here." Robin pulled a tiny stuffed bear from her purse, dressed in surgical scrubs with a little mask around his face. "This is Dr. Bear and he will look after you and make you feel all better – okay Angel?" Robin put the bear inside the incubator and placed him near Rian's head.

"Ready to go?" Patrick asked her.

"Yes…and no" she smiled somewhat sadly.

"I know" he said quietly. Patrick kissed his fingers and then put them against Rian's face. "I love you little man – I'll see you soon for story time."

Robin pressed her lips against the incubator. "Love you baby boy – be good." She wiped at her tears as Patrick wheeled her out of the NICU. Patrick leaned down and kissed her cheek. "We'll be back soon."

"I know – it just feels weird to be leaving without him"

"He'll be home soon enough baby." Patrick brought her out to the car and lifting her, placed her inside.

"I could have used my crutches you know."

"You're objecting to me carrying you? Do you know how many women would like to be carried by me?"

Robin narrowed her eyes, jokingly as he got in the driver's side. "I don't know, Patrick. How many women have you made the offer to?"

"Er, um, - I simply mean, back in the day…"

"The good old days – before you had a ball and chain?"

"See this is how I know you're feeling better – you won't let me finish a sentence."

"I'll let you finish a sentence – if it's a sentence I like – for example any sentence that begins with I love you, you are welcome to finish those."

Patrick took her hand and brought it to his lips. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Patrick pulled the car into the driveway and picked Robin up. "You really aren't going to let me walk, are you?"

"You can walk later – I just like carrying you" he said, more seriously than he intended.

Robin took the keys from his hands and opened the door. They were greeted by the aroma of fresh bread wafting through the house. "Nice touch" she said.

Patrick carried her to the kitchen and set her down at the table. The table was set for dinner with a bottle of champagne chilling and candles covering the counters, waiting to be lit. There were fresh flowers on the table and a note standing up beside it. Robin picked up the note and opening it, read it out loud.

_With so many things to celebrate, we thought you could use a little help to get going. Welcome home and enjoy_

Your fairy godmothers, Brenda and Nathalie

"Wow" Patrick said, looking around the kitchen appreciatively. "If Nathalie cooked, we are in for a treat."

"Yeah but if Brenda cooked, we better order take out."

Patrick looked in the oven and opened the lid of the casserole dish. "Oh wow – it's Nathalie's Moroccan Chicken dish with garlic and white wine."  
"It smells divine."

"According to this note, it has to cook for another hour." He turned to her. "What would you like to do? Are you tired, do you want a nap?"

Robin shook her head and gave him a feline smile. "Grab the champagne and let's go take a bath."

"Are you sure you don't need to rest?" he asked with concern.

"Oh I need something alright but it's not rest. Now pass me the champagne and let's go – we only have an hour."

Patrick grinned at her and grabbed the champagne bottle and flutes, passing them to her. Then he picked her up and carried her upstairs to the bathroom. He set her down on the counter and while she poured them each a glass of champagne, Patrick got the water running in their clawfoot tub. "Bubbles?" he asked.

Robin nodded and held out a glass to him. Patrick dumped half the bottle of bubble bath in the tub and turned back to the take the glass from her. He took a long sip of the champagne while staring at her.

"What?" she asked, suddenly shy.

"I can't believe you're home –that you're here."

"Then what are you standing all the way over there for?" she asked.

Patrick put his glass down on the counter and put his hands on either side of her hips. Robin ran her tongue along her bottom lip and Patrick crashed his lips onto hers, greedily sucking her tongue into his mouth. Robin moaned into his mouth as her hands went to his hair. He moved his mouth to her neck and ran his tongue down the side before stopping at the hollow of her neck. He opened his mouth hotly over it, tracing circles with his tongue.

Reluctantly lifting his head, he looked over at the tub, nearing its filling point. He walked over and turned of the taps. By the time he turned around, Robin had removed all her clothing. He stared at her pert breasts and her hardening nipples and felt his body react in kind. "Anxious much?" he said throatily.

She tied her hair up in a knot. "You have no idea. Why are you still clothed?"

Walking back to her, he smiled seductively. "Maybe I need some help?" He stood in front of her and held his arms out to the side. Robin slowly undid the first three buttons of his shirt before tearing it open. The buttons flew off the shirt and Robin pushed it over his shoulders. Patrick pulled it the rest of the way before letting it drop to the ground. He pushed his hips towards Robin as she set about undoing his button fly jeans. She allowed her hand to trace the outline of his erection before undoing the last of the buttons. "No underwear?" she remarked.

"I'm a little behind in laundry" he groaned as Robin wrapped her hand around his arousal and slowly stroked his length. He pushed his jeans over his hips and stepped out of them while Robin kept hold of him. "You're going to have to let go at some point or we're never getting into the tub" he said, as his breath quickened under her touch.

Pouting, she let go but held her arms out for him to pick her up. Patrick scooped her from the counter and crossed the bathroom, gently placing her in the water. Robin let out a soft sigh as the warm water enveloped her muscles. Patrick moved to get in behind her but she shook her head.

"Sit in front"

He shrugged and got into the tub in front of her, leaning back against her once he settled in. Robin ran her hands over his shoulders and his neck, following with little kisses. Patrick closed his eyes, fully giving into the feeling of her lips on his skin. Robin suckled on his earlobe while her hands roamed over his chest, grazing against his sensitive nipples. He pushed back further against her breasts and softly ran his fingertips over her legs, taking care to avoid her injuries.

Robin nuzzled the back of his neck, leaving little licks on his skin. "I've missed tasting you" she said huskily.

Patrick bit his bottom lip as her voice vibrated against his skin. His hand traveled to his erection, poking through the water. Wrapping it around, he firmly stroked himself, until he felt Robin's hand close around his. "Let me" she said.

"Only if you let me return the favour – at the same time" he said.  
"How do you mean?"

Patrick turned around in the tub until he was facing her. Pushing himself closer, he placed his legs on either side of her hips. She wrapped her hand back where it had been. Running his fingers along her lips, she pulled them into her mouth and began to suck on them. Once she released them, he traced them over her breasts, rolling her nipples between his thumb and forefinger.

"Aaahh" she moaned. "God, I love how you touch me" He continued to draw his fingers down her skin before letting them dip into the water. He watched her eyes as he outlined her sex and then slowly slipped a finger inside her. Robin thought she would explode on the spot. He moved the finger around inside, causing tiny spasms inside her. Her eyes darkened with desire as his second finger slid in and he began to pump his hand in and out of her.

Dipping his head to her neck, he sucked on her skin while she continued to stroke him. She smiled as she felt him harden in her hand. Feeling his reaction to her touch only served to deepen her own arousal. Patrick increased the pace of his hand as Robin's hips rose and fell in response. She matched his pace, movement for movement and letting her hand wander past the base of his cock, could tell that he was very close. Giving him a small squeeze, Patrick's mouth dropped open in response but he was unable to make any noise. Moving her hand back to his length, she returned to stroking him, harder and faster, letting her thumb drag across his tip. He bucked up against her hand every time she did so.

As she coiled and tightened around his hand, she leaned forward and bit down on his shoulder to keep from crying out. Patrick held off until he felt the first tremor ripple through her body and then gave into his own. They both thrashed in the water until they were spent.

Patrick collapsed against her and Robin caressed his hair as their breathing returned to normal. "Now that's what I call a homecoming" she said, kissing the top of his head.

"I'll say – ready for dinner?"

She smiled. "I guess so, considering we had dessert first."


	109. Chapter 109

Chapter 109

"This is a surprise - a pleasant one though" Nikolas said coming across Nathalie sitting in the waiting room.

Nathalie looked up and smiled. "Hi Nikolas."

He sat down beside her. "What brings you to the hospital - is everything okay?"

She nodded. "I'm just waiting to pick up a prescription. I still seem to have a foot in two cities and I don't have a pharmacy here so I'm getting things filled at the hospital. I suppose I'll have to decide where to live soon enough - oh god, I'm rambling" she said covering her face with her hands.

"You're not" he said kindly. "So, is there a chance you might move to Port Charles?"

She twisted her lips to the side. "Not sure. Gracie and Oliver seem quite happy here and it's a nice city - I could probably find work quite easily."

"But?"

"But, DC has been home for a long time. That being said it became a less appealing place to live since uh..."

"Your husband died?" he offered.

"Yeah. Change is a good thing though I suppose." She took a deep breath aware of how much being next to him made her cheeks flush. "How's Lulu?"

"She's doing better. She's still not talking about much but at this point, I'm beyond grateful that she's awake."

"Nathalie? Is everything okay with the kids?" Noah said, spotting her sitting on the couches. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt."

Nikolas smiled. "Not an interruption at all Dr. Drake."

"Please call me Noah" he said smiling at the pair.

"Everyone's fine Noah" Nathalie said, reassuringly. "I'm just here getting a prescription filled."

"I should go" Nikolas said, standing up. "I promised Lulu I would get her some ice cream." He smiled at Nathalie. "I'll talk to you soon?"

She smiled. "Sure thing."

Nikolas walked a few feet before turning around. "Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?"

Nathalie's mouth dropped open slightly and she could feel her face turn red. "I, uh...I ..well I'd like to but I have the kids."

"I'll babysit" Noah offered, jumping in.

Nathalie looked at him in surprise. "Uh, Noah - I can't ask you to do that."

"You didn't ask, I offered. I'll babysit and you and Nikolas can have a grown ups night out - it's important to have those when you have young kids."

Het stomach flipped as she looked back at Nik. "Sure" she smiled. "I'd love to have dinner tomorrow night."

"Great" he beamed, jamming his hands in his pockets. "I'll call you later and we'll work out the details."

She nodded, smiling. As Nikolas walked away she turned to Noah. "Noah - you didn't..."

"Nathalie, the boy asked you out on a date - you should go."

She swallowed hard. "Oh god - I'm going on a date."

xxxxxxx

Patrick pulled the t-shirt over his head as he answered the door. "Hi Anna" he said, holding the door for her.

"Good morning Patrick, am I too early?"

He shook his head. "Not at all - Robin isn't up yet but I've just put on some coffee - come in."

"I brought croissants" she said holding up a bag.

Patrick smiled. "That's great." He took the bag from her and walked to the kitchen. "Coffee?"

"Please" she sat down and watched him. His jeans were battered and slung low on his hips, his navy t-shirt was faded and obviously a favourite. The way he prepared teh coffee, the order in which he took out the milk and sugar all spoke to his routine. It was obvious to her that there were no wasted movements with him. Everything that he did was efficient and precise and he was tightly in control. It occurred to her that everything that had happened in the last few weeks had been outside his control and she wondered about the effect on him. "Cheers" she smiled as he passed her a mug. She wrapped her hands around it. "How are you Patrick?"

"Good. We had a good night and Robin rested well only getting up twice so things are good."

Anna smiled. "Robin does that."

"Does what?"

"Gives me doctor stonewalling as an answer."

"I wasn't aware I was stonewalling" he said.

"I'm asking you how you - you Patrick - how you are."

"I'm okay" he said lightly.

"Strong, silent type are you?"

"Not really" he smirked.

"Sure you are. These last few weeks have been rather difficult on you, I can see that."

"All that matters is Robin and Rian are okay."

That's not all that matters - you need to be okay too. Who's looking after you Patrick?"

"I'm a big boy Anna - I don't need looking after."

She smiled. "Of course you do" she said softly. "You don't have to talk about anything but I do want you to know that you're family now and you can count on me if you need anything."

"That's very kind, thanks." He stood up from the table. "I'll check if Robin is awake yet."

Anna watched him walk up the stairs and shook her head. Robin had told her that he ran from things and while he had been steadfast in his support and love of his girlfriend and son, there was still a small part of him that would rather run than talk. She started to laugh as she heard her daughter's voice.

"How am I ever going to get stronger if you insist on carrying me everywhere."

"You're so slow on your crutches your mom would be 80 by the time you got down the stairs" he teased as he came down the stairs.

"Honestly darling" Anna said as Patrick sat her down. "If it's good enough for Cleopatra to travel that way, surely it's good enough for you."

"Hi Mom"

Anna kissed her on the cheek. "You look better every day"

Patrick poured her a coffee and put in just the right amounts of milk and sugar and placed it in front of her. He kissed the top of her head before heading out to answer the door. He came back in, followed by Sonny Corinthos.

"I'm sorry - I should have called" he said sheepishly.

"Sonny!" Robin exclaimed. "I'm happy to see you" she said.

"Me too sweetheart" he said, kissing her cheek. "I would have visited in the hospital but I figured you had your hands full."

"Have a seat Sonny" Patrick offered. "Coffee?"

"Sure" he said. He extended his hand to Anna. "Sonny Corinthos"

"Anna Devane" she smiled back. She knew who he was the minute he walked through the door as he did she but they kept up pretenses for everyone else.

Patrick handed a coffee to Sonny. "I'm going to let you guys visit and head out for a run - if you're okay with that" he asked Robin.

She smiled warmly. "Of course - can we go see Rian when you get back?"

"You betcha. Nice to see you again Sonny"

"You too Patrick." Patrick gave Robin a quick kiss before heading upstairs to get changed.

"You know - why don't you two move into the living room - you'll be much more comfortable there than at the table. Sonny - could you help me carry the coffee out?" Anna suggested. "I'll get your crutches in a minute darling."

"Sure" he said, picking up the plate of scones along with the coffee and following her into the living room.

"I need your help" she said quietly.

"My help?" he asked in surprise.

"I think Robert, Robin's father, I think he's up to something and I need you to find out."

Sonny flashed his dimple. "Anna, I know who you are and what your skills are - you are quite capable of finding out what your ex-husband is up to without my help."

"And I know who you are and what your skills are. Sonny, my ex knows every move I'm going to make before I make it. I'm afraid he's into something that he may not get out of and for Robin's sake, I need you to look into it."

He nodded. "For Robin, no problem. I'll have some information for you in a few days."

She smiled gratefully. "Thank you." She left the room quickly and got Robin's crutches. She followed behind and once Robin was installed, left the two friends alone to catch up. "I'll be in the back if you need anything."

"Thanks mom" Robin smiled. She turned to Sonny after she left. "She hovers - trying to make up for lost time."

Sonny chuckled. "But you like it."

"I do" she admitted sheepishly.

"How are you?" he asked sincerely.

"I'm getting better. I have my moments of doubt but you know, I'm a mom now and that's pretty cool."

He kissed her cheek. "I am so happy for you Robin - it means so much to me to see you like this."

"Thanks. Were you nervous when Morgan was born?"

"God yes" he laughed. "I was sure I was going to drop him, feed him the wrong thing, forget him in the car."

"Does it get better?" she asked.

"It does" he took her hand. "It gets so much better and Robin, you are a natural at this - love is the most important thing and you have that in buckets - you always did."

Robin lowered her eyes and smiled shyly. "Do you still miss Stone?" she asked in a quiet voice.

Sonny rubbed a hand over his face. "Every day Robin - every day."

"You don't wear his ring anymore" she remarked, looking at his hand.

He took a deep breath in. "That's complicated."

"How so?"

"Robin, I promised to keep Stone's memory alive and to take care of you and to live my life in a way that would make him proud." He exhaled slowly. "I've failed on all three counts and I don't deserve to wear his ring. I'm hoping one of these days I'll get to the point where I feel I can but I'm not there yet." He surprised himself as his eyes filled with tears. He had never admitted that out loud before - if he was really truthful, he had never admitted that to himself before this moment.

"You're a better man than you give yourself credit for" she said.

"And you are a kinder person than I deserve."

"Do you...do you ever wish you could see Stone again?"

Sonny grinned. "You mean, see him all grown up - what he'd be like now ?" he nodded. "Everyday."

"No, I mean - do ever just wish you could see him?" her voice was somewhat strangled, like she was saying something she shouldn't.

Sonny furrowed his brow. "Robin" he said quietly. "Do you see Stone?"

She shook her head. "No no - I was just wondering, that's all."

Sonny was about to answer when his phone began to ring. He answered it and listened before hanging up. "I'm sorry sweetheart, I have to go."

"I'm glad you came by."

He kissed her cheek. "Me too - I can't wait to meet your son Robin - I really can't."

Robin watched as he left and then searched the room looking for Stone but he was nowhere to be found.

xxxxx

Nathalie opened the door, while trying to pin her hair up. "Hi Noah - come on in"

Noah smiled and came through the door. "You look beautiful" he said, admiring the dark red shift dress that set off her hazel eyes. She had tied her dark blonde hair into a low bun at the base of her neck.

"Thanks" she smiled uneasily. "I feel weird."

"It's just dinner Nathalie - relax and enjoy it - you deserve it."

She gave him a peck on the cheek. "You are a good man Noah Drake."

His cheeks flushed deep red. "You should get going."

"Oliver is asleep and will need one more bottle when he wakes up and Gracie is watching a movie. She will go to bed after that." She sighed. "Are you sure - because I could just call Nikolas and..."

"Not a chance - get going - have a great time."

"Thanks - I won't be late." Nathalie grabbed her wrap and headed out the door.

She was surprised when Nikolas answered the door himself. She was momentarily dumbstruck by how handsome he was. He was dressed in black pants and a black shirt that had a thin cream pinstripe in it. "My Alfred - you're beginning to look more like Nikolas every day" she laughed.

Nikolas grinned. "You are stunning - come in" he said, offering his hand. It was all she could do not to melt against his touch as he placed his hand against the small of her back. He led her into the main room that had a small table set for dinner with candles and flowers.

"My goodness - you went all out" she said, somewhat shyly.

"You're worth it." He poured her a glass of wine and handed it to her. "And - in a feat not yet seen, I have cooked dinner."

Nathalie choked on her wine. "You know how to cook?" she asked.

"'What? Princes don't cook?"

"I wouldn't know" she teased, taking the seat he offered. "You're the first prince I've ever known."

"Lucky me then. I actually took several cooking classes over the years."

"Of course you did - at the Cordon Bleu school I'm sure."

"There's a school?" he joked. "I had a private tutor. I had a lot of private tutors."

"Sounds like you regret it" she said.

"Not completely - I did manage to go to a regular high school for a few years but mostly it was private teaching." He took a drink of his wine. "Where did you grow up - are you from DC orginally?"

She shook her head. "No - I'm kind of from all over the place - my dad was an ambassador and we moved every three years."

"Is that why you went into law?"

"Kind of - he told me I had two choices -be a lawyer or marry one."  
"Sounds like he was tough."

"He was. I think it's why I'm nearing the end of my rope with law now - it was never what I truly wanted to do."

"What do you truly want to do?"

"I'd like to run something - a small company or a foundation"

"So are you any closer to figuring out if you want to stay in Port Charles?"

"Not really - but I am seeing the appeal of the city" she said, more seductively than she intended.

Nikolas reached for her hand and slowly entwined his fingers through hers. "Well you certainly make the city more appealing."

She felt shivers run through her body. Nikolas let go of her hand as dinner was brought out and she missed it as soon as he took it away. They enjoyed their dinner, talking easily and Nathalie felt a certain triumph at not mentioning her children or Drew once. Nikolas couldn't keep his eyes from her, they roamed her face and body appreciatively - he was completely entraced by her eyes.  
"Care to dance?" he asked as dinner was cleared away.

"With you?" she joked.  
"No, with Alfred" he grinned. "He thinks you're very cute" he said holding out his hand.

Nathalie placed her hand in his. "And what do you think?" she asked, surprised at her boldness.

He led her to the terrace which was lit by candles and where the soft notes of Miles Davis floated on the air. "I think Alfred is pretty cute too" Nathalie crinkled her nose and giggled. Nikolas place his hand on the small of her back and pulled her closer to him. "I like the sound of your laugh" he said and putting his lips to her ear said, "And I think you're beautiful."

Nathlie let go of a breath she had been holding most of the night. She liked being in his arms. He felt safe and he made her stomach drop with just the slightest touch. She rested her head against his shoulder as he traced his fingers along her back. Nathalie involuntarily pushed herself futher against him and felt his breath hitch. Nikolas hadn't been with another woman since Courtney died during the winter. He had been too consummed with first his grief at her loss and then his unexpected joy at being a father. But holding Nathalie, being in her company had awakened feelings in him that he had thought would remain dormant. She had no agenda and wanted nothing from him, freeing him to be just who he was. He tilted her chin upwards and gently pressed his lips against hers. Her lips parted and he slipped his tongue past. He let out a small moan as she met his tongue with hers, deepening their kiss.

Nikolas felt his knees weaken and felt the sudden urge to sit down. Taking her by the hand, he led her to the couch where he cupped her face and kissed her hotly, passtionately. Nathalie leaned back against the arm of the couch, while Nikolas pressed himself against her. She ran her hands through his hair as he assaulted her neck, she pressed her hips up against him and moaned as she felt his hardness against her. She licked and sucked on his earlobe. Nikolas' hands roamed her body, gently grazing over her breasts, causing her to arch up into his hands. Nathalie began to undo the buttons on his shirt and pushed it off his shoulders. She sucked in a breath as she ran her hands over his smooth chest. Pulling his shirt from his arms, he tossed it to the floor before returning to her. She peppered his chest with tiny kisses, causing the hair on the back of his neck to stand up. He ran his hand up her smooth, lean legs. Reaching her thighs, he pushed her dress up as his hands continued on their path. The dress bunched up underneath her. His hand grazed across the lace centre of her panties and Nikolas bit his lip when he felt they were already damp. Watching her face, he pushed them aside and slipped a finger inside her.

Nathalie's breath began come in spurts as Nikolas' touch made her dizzy with desire. Tiny spasms rocked her body and she pushed up against his hand. Feeling the beginnings of her orgasm, she stopped moving suddenly and pushed Nikolas' hands away. "I have to go " she panted.

Nikolas dropped his hands immediately and sat up. "Nathalie - what's wrong?" The desire in his eyes replaced with concern.

"I can't..I can't - I just can't be here." Sitting up she pulled her dress down quickly. "I'm sorry - I'm so sorry"

Nikolas could see the panic in her eyes. "Nathalie, it's okay - we're crossing the freak out bridge, aren't we?"

Her eyes darted aroudn the room. "I'm sorry - oh god, look at you" she glanced down at his obvious erection.

Nikolas put his hand on her arm. "Forget about that - tell me what's wrong"

"I have to go " she jumped up from the couch. "I can't be here" She grabbed her purse and ran for the door.

Nikolas got up from the couch and began to run after her but she was too far gone to the launch for him to catch up. He sat back down and put his head in his hands. "Shit"


	110. Chapter 110

Chapter 110

Noah looked up in surprise as Nathalie came through the door. "Did you have a good time?" he asked before seeing the stricken look on her face. He shot off the couch and was by her side. "What happened? Nathalie did he hurt you?"

She shook her head. "If anyone hurt anyone, it was me hurting him." She put her hand to her forehead. "God, I am such an idiot."

Noah watched as she slumped to the couch. "Would you like to talk about it?"

She groaned. "I am so humiliated. How were the kids - they didn't give you any trouble, did they?"

He took a seat beside her. "They were great - it's possible your daughter is too smart for her own good" he smiled.

"Has been since the day she was born" she agreed.

"Nathalie - what happened?"

She blew out her cheeks. "I ran out on him."

"Were you not having a good time?" Noah asked, slightly confused. He didn't know Nikolas well but had a hard time imagining that he would be a bad date.

"That wasn't the problem - we were having a great date - it was perfect - we ate, we laughed, we danced..and then we...er...we" she shifted uncomfortably on the couch.

Noah raised his hand. "I get it. So you were going somewhere and you had a bit of a meltdown?"

She nodded. "It was nice - I was enjoying it and then - gah!" she put her head in her hands. "And then I realized he wasn't Drew - that I was about to have sex with a man who wasn't my husband and I felt guilty and then I felt angry because if Drew hadn't been such a selfish bastard, I wouldn't be in the position of having sex with a man who isn't my husband."

Noah leaned back and looked at her thoughtfully. "Do you like Nikolas - are you attracted to him?"

She nodded. "Very much. Much more than I probably should."

He smiled at her kindly. "You know, having a realtionship is the hardest part of moving on after your spouse dies. You move on with work and family and it's all okay but when you go down that particular path, it makes the loss more permanent. You realize they really aren't coming back and you begin to invest in someone else. Guilt, fear, anger - those are perfectly natural reactions Nathalie. If Nikolas is half the man I think he is, he'll be patient with you."

Nathalied smiled gratefully. "Did you date after Mattie's death?"

Noah nodded. "I did, a little. The first time I was intimate with another woman who wasn't Mattie was a pretty terrifying experience. After I left her, I remember going home and begging Mattie's forgiveness for betraying her. Which was just silly really - Mattie would have wanted me to move on."

Nathalie put her hand on his arm. "How about you Noah - have you been dating?"

He shook his head. "No - I haven't been sober long enough to tackle a relationship and right now my son and his family need me and so staying sober has to be my only priority."

She gave him a peck on the cheek. "Thank you." Noah blushed. "I'm going to get changed out of this and try to put this disaster behind me - would you like some tea?"

"Sure." He watched her walk to her bedroom. He understood all too well the path she was on and he felt compelled to support her. The last thing anyone needed was for another person to fall apart like he did. The knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts. He smiled as he went to answer it, sure that it was exactly who it should be.  
"Nikolas" he said as he opened the door.

"I'm sorry to disturb you Noah but is Nathalie here?" he asked with concern dripping from his voice.

Noah opened the door. "She is. I'm actually just on my way out - why don't you have a seat and she'll be out in a moment."

"You don't have to leave on my account Noah - I just...I want to make sure she's okay."

Noah put a hand on his shoulder. "She will be and you've done a good thing by showing up. Please tell her I'll speak with her later." Nikolas nodded as he closed the door behind him.

Nathalie came out from the bedroom in a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt, shaking out her hair. "So Noah - what kind of tea would you..." Her mouth fell open as she saw Nikolas standing in the living room. "Wha-wha-what are you doing here?" she stammered.

"You forgot this" he held up her wrap. "And I wanted to see if you were alright. Are you...alright, I mean?"

Both stood rooted to their spots. "I'm not sure - I'm still trying to figure out if it's possible to actually die of humiliation."

Nikolas walked towards her and tentatively taking her hand, led her to the couch. "You have nothing to feel humiliated about" he said gently.

Nathalie covered her face with a hand. "Says you - the one of us who didn't run away at a most inopportune moment."

He let out a small breath. "Do you want to talk about it?"

They sat facing each other on the couch. Nathalie's arm lay across the back of the couch. Nikolas' hand touched hers. "I freaked out."

Nikolas smiled. "That much I got - and I think I know why but I was wondering if you wanted to tell me."

"I like you Nikolas - I like you alot."

He felt his cheeks flush. "I like you too."

"And I was having a really good time tonight - a really good time. I was in the moment and I wanted to be with you" she swallowed. "Nikolas, you make me feel sexy and desirable and I enormously attracted to you."

"You are sexy and desirable - though I think I hear a but coming."

Nathalie smiled. "You're the first man, other than my husband, that I've kissed in seven years. And then, when we were on the couch, I realized I was about to have sex with a man who wasn't my husband. I was deeply in love with my husband - I guess I still am - and it felt like I was cheating. I wanted to have sex with you - I still do but I feel guilty and I know it's stupid but there it is."

"It's not stupid" he said quietly. "I haven't been with another woman since Courtney died and I kept wondering if it was too soon, if I was disrespecting her memory but Nathalie, I'm attracted to you - I think about you a lot."

She laughed nervously. "Where does this leave us?"

"Well, if you're not ready to date, I understand that. Just don't forget about me when you are."

She bit her lip. "I want to date you Nikolas - I want to spend time with you but I'm just not sure I'm ready to sleep with you."

He tried to hide his relief. He was prepared to walk away but was secretly hoping she wouldn't let him. "That's okay - we can take it slowly - we can take it very slowly - we can just date and get to know each other."

"I'd like that."

"Me too" he whispered.

Nathalie laced her fingers through his and leaning in, tenderly captured his lips with hers. "Thank you for coming after me" she said against his mouth.

"I just couldn't let you go so easily."

xxxxxxx

Patrick knocked on the door. "Up for a visitor?"

Lulu looked up from the fashion magazine she was reading. She smiled at first until the reality of what she had done came back to her and she felt the shame all over again. "If you want" she shrugged.

"I want" he said, walking into the room with a bag in his hands. He gently tossed the bag on the bed beside her. Lulu looked from the bag to him. "Unless you have x-ray vision, it may just be easier to open it" he teased.

She opened the bag and looked in. "Holy mother - did you buy the entire candy store?"

Patrick smiled as he sat down. "Well, I had only planned on buying you a little candy until I realized I had no idea what your favourite candy was and so I tried to buy a few things, hoping somewhere in there is some candy you like." Lulu smiled and pulling out the candy necklace put it around her neck. She pulled out a lollipop and unwrapping it, put it in her mouth. "It's nice to see you smile" he said quietly. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired"

He nodded. "That's to be expected. They pumped your stomach and you were on a vent - you've been through quite a bit."

"Are you going to lecture me? Lucky already did."

"I'm not here to lecture you Lulu - I just wanted to see if you're okay - if you need anything."

She shrugged again. "I'm fine."

"Really? Because you don't seem fine - you seem angry and sad."

"I guess."

"Have you talked with anybody about what happened that night - what pushed you over the edge?" He didn't want to pry - if Lulu wanted him to know, he would but he did want to make sure she was talking to someone.

"I've had an appointment with Lainey. Apparently they won't let me out of here until they think I won't hurt myself again." She pulled the sucker from her mouth. "I'm sorry" she said quietly.

Patrick looked at her in surprise. "Why are you apologizing to me?"

She chewed on her bottom lip. "I know...I know about your friend and I just...I hope that I didn't stir up any bad memories."

Patrick smiled at her. "Lulu - I'm just grateful that you didn't do anything that couldn't be undone."

"For whatever that's worth."

"It's worth a lot - to me"

"Whatever."

Patrick looked around the room. "Do you feel up for a walk?"

"What?"

"Let's go for a walk." Going to her closet, he pulled out her robe and handed it to her.

Lulu got up from the bed and put the robe around her. "Where are we  
going?"

"You'll see soon enough" he said, offering her his harm. Lulu linked arms with him and headed out of her room.

Arriving at the NICU, Patrick put a gown and gloves on her and led her to Rian's incubator. "Good morning little man" he said quietly, putting his hand through. "I hear you had a good night and that you were a good boy for the nurses." Lulu stared in amazement at both the tiny baby and the change in Patrick the minute he saw him. "Lulu, this is Rian - Rian - this is the special hero I was telling you about." Lulu blinked several times, not fully understanding what he was saying. "It's okay Lu - put your hand through the hole."

Lulu put her hand inside the incubator and Rian instantly latched on to it. Lulu melted immediately. "Hi Rian" she said quietly. "You're pretty cute - you must get that from your mom"

"I can hear you, you know" he teased.

"He's tiny" she said to Patrick.

"He is but he's strong. See his little name plate - Thor - it's his god name to make him super strong." Patrick inhaled. "Lulu - this is what's it's worth" he pointed to Rian. "I'm not for a minute saying that this balances out that you've tested positive because there is no way to make that right and I would give anything to take that from you. But I wanted you to see, to really see, what your selflessness has brought to the world. You saved his life Lulu - you saved him and gave me and Robin our son. Honestly, there is no greater gift."

"I didn't do this" she said quietly.

"Yes you did - you need to understand that. If you hadn't done what you did then Robin may have died and Rian certainly would have. You and Rian have a really special bond now and Robin and I want you to be a part of his life - a part of our life."

Lulu wiped at her tears. "He's pretty sweet"

"That he definitely gets from his mom." Patrick walked to her side of the incubator and put his arm around her. "Thank you Lulu" he kissed the side of her head.

xxxxx

"Sonny says he doesn't see you." Robin said.

"He doesn't need me"

"But I do?"

"Don't you?"

"Stone, I don't know - I love Patrick and I love Rian and I don't understand why you're here after all these years."

"You asked me to come"

"I did?"

"Sure - when you died on the table. I was there to bring you over but you wouldn't come and you said that if I wanted to see you that I had to come to you."

"I don't remember that."

"That's okay - but I'm here now - I can help you."

"Help me how Stone?"

"Figure out what you want - figure out what you need."

"I want Patrick - you'd like him you know, Stone - he's a great guy."

"Does he love you like I do?"

"Stone - that's not fair - every love is different."

"Robin" Brenda interrupted, standing in the doorway to the kitchen. "Who are you talking to?"


	111. Chapter 111

Chapter 111

Robin spun around. "Brenda - I didn't hear you come in."

Brenda's eyes darted around the kitchen. "I used the key you gave me. Who are you talking to?"

"No one" she tried to cover.

Brenda took the seat next to her at the kitchen table. "Robin - I heard you talking out loud and you mentioned Stone - were you talking to Stone?"

Realizing she was caught, Robin's cheeks flushed red. "I was - I do from time to time."

She narrowed her eyes. "How long have you been talking to him?"

"Why does it matter?" Robin asked defensively. "I was just talking to him -I miss him."

"Robin I wasn't judging you - I was just asking a question. Does Patrick know you talk to Stone?"

"Does Patrick need to know everything I do? Stone was my great love - you know that and I miss him."

"Robs, Stone was your great love as a teenager - you have a great adult love now - a man who is building a life with you..."

"I thought you loved Stone."

"I do - but he's dead Robin - why do you need to talk to him?"

"I don't need to talk to him - I just do - it was a private thing - it's for me so just leave it alone."

Recognizing she was on dangerous ground, Brenda held up her hands. "No mas, chica. So what are you up to today?" she quickly changed the subject. Brenda filed the incident away and made a note to keep an eye on her friend. Something was clearly a little off and though she wasn't afraid to bring Patrick in, she wanted to know more before she did.

"Not much - I'm doing my physio exercises and sleeping - pretty boring."

"Have you been to see Rian?"

She nodded. "I saw him last night and Patrick and I will go back later today too."

"How does it feel to be away from him?"

"It doesn't always feel real, you know? I haven't held him, I haven't fed him - I haven't even kissed him."

Brenda took her hand. "Soon Robin - before you know it."

"What if he loses that new baby smell before I even get to inhale it?" she asked, partially joking.

"I hear that smell sticks around for months - you will have lots of time to smell him and kiss him and hold him" she smiled at her friend. "Rob - are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine - why?"

"Because you don't seem to be as confident as you normally are - you seem really unsure about being a mom and worrying about disappointing Patrick and that's not like you."

"Brenda - I'm fine - I'm really fine. I mean, I'm a little nervous - it's a little overwhelming but I'm fine."

"You would tell me, right? Because we tell each other everything and you've seen me through some bad spots and there isn't anything you could tell me that would change how much I love you."

Robin furrowed her brow. "Of course I would tell you - there's nothing going on Bren other than I've been in an accident, given birth prematurely, had surgery and am recovering. Other than that I'm fine."

"Okay" she acquiesed.

"You worry too much" Robin teased.

"Who worries too much?" Patrick asked coming through the kitchen.

"Brenda - worrying about having just the perfect purse" Robin said. Her covering did not go unnoticed by Brenda.

"Is there such a thing as a perfect purse?" Patrick asked, dropping a kiss on Robin's lips.

"Of course there is" Brenda piped up, playing her role. "I just haven't found it yet - that's why I need to keep shopping. What's that in your  
hands?" she asked, nodding at the bag.

"Ah - these are the spoils of victory" he said, placing them on the table.

"Oh?" Robin asked.

He pulled out the travel brochures. "It is never too early to start planning our trip to Australia - I won, we go down under." Robin's face fell. "Robin - what's wrong?"

"I'm in no shape to be going to Australia! I can't believe you're already on that - is there some reason why you can't just sit still for a while?"

Patrick was taken aback by her sudden flash of anger. "Is there a reason why you're so cranky?"

"I'm not cranky!" she slammed her hand on the table "but I wish you would stop pressuring me."

Patrick looked over at Brenda who imperceptibly shrugged her shoulders. "You know what" Brenda said getting up. "I promised Nathalie I would meet her and the kids at Kelly's for dinner so I should get going." She kissed Robin on the cheek, feeling the tension in her face. "I'll talk to you later - love you."

"Bye Brenda" Patrick said as she headed to the door. He sank in to the chair across from her. "What's going on?"

"Nothing" she said defensively.

"Nothing? Robin, you just completely bit my head off and accused me of pressuring you. I don't think I've done that but you need to tell me  
if I have."

"I just don't want to talk about fucking Australia, okay? Rian's not home yet - he's not even off his vent and you're talking about flying half way around the world."

Patrick reached for her hand. "Robin - calm down. I'm not pressuring you. What's wrong - are you in pain?"

"Stop trying to handle me."

He dropped her hand. "Handling you? I'm not handling you - but you need to stop snapping at me and tell me what's bothering you."

"You can't fix everything so stop trying."

"You're not making any sense."

"Just leave me alone" she said, picking up her crutches and hobbling out of the kitchen. Patrick watched her go and followed her as she attempted to go up the stairs. She lowered herslef on to her behind and tried to go up backwards. She had made it up three stairs before stopping, out of breath. Sweat had pooled on her forehead and her skin was flushed.

Patrick leaned against the wall, his arms crossed in front of his chest. "Are you quite done?"

"What?" she asked, her eyes dark with anger.

"Your temper tantrum - are you quite done? I'm just asking so I can plan a time for when we can have a rational and normal conversation. But if you're not done - by all means, carry on - you'll be exhausted by the tenth step."

"Fuck you" she hissed, trying to get up the next step with shaking arms.

"I'm assuming that will have to wait until your tantrum is over as well." Hot tears of frustration tumbled down her face. Patrick climbed the stairs and sat beside her. Putting his arm around her, he pulled her to him. "What's up, buttercup?" he asked softly.

"I'm scared" she said softly, through her tears, pressing her face into this chest.

"Of what?"

"Everything - all of it - being a mom, bringing him home, Lulu - I...it's so big."

"I know it is - and it's okay to get mad but you need to tell me when you feel like this."

"Why?" she said accusingly. "It's not like you get it - you're all Mr. Well Adjusted, just going with the flow."

He scoffed in spite of himself. "Well adjusted has never been a term used to describe me. Don't you think I'm scared too?"

"You don't show it" she sniffled, wiping at her face.

"Robin, I'm terrified - what if Rian needs something I can't give him -what if you need something I can't give you - what if I let you both down - what kind of man, what kind of father does that make me?"

She took her hand and laced her fingers through his. "I never asked you if you were scared - I just assumed you weren't - that wasn't very fair of me."

Patrick leaned his head in to her neck and dropped a kiss behind her ear. "We haven't actually taken a lot of time to talk about us lately - we've talked about Rian, your recovery and other things but we haven't talked about us. Our lives have changed completely and I think it's normal that we feel this way."

"I'm sorry I snapped at you."

He pressed his lips against hers. "Let's go to bed"

"Patrick" she giggled. "I don't think sex is going to solve anything right now"

"Is your mind always in the gutter?" he asked as he picked her up from the stairs.

"Oh and yours isn't?"

He grinned. "Maybe but the gutter wasn't what I had in mind." He pushed open the door of their bedroom and laid her gently on the bed.

"Then what do you have in mind?" she asked, watching him kick off his shoes and drop his jeans. He pulled off his shirt and added it to the pile. With only his boxer/briefs on, he pulled back the covers and climbed into bed.

"I'm exhausted" he said. "I need a nap and I just want to lie here with you in my arms. I don't want to worry about vents or incubators or trips to Australia or head injuries or friends who are sick - I just want to hold you and forget about the rest of the world.It hasn't just been you and me in a very long time. We can talk if you want, we can lie here but I just want it to just be us."

Robin pulled back the covers on her side and moved gingerly over towards him. He held his arms open and she slid underneath them, pressing her body as closely and firmly as she could. Placing her head against his chest, she listened to the steady beating of his heart. "We're going to be okay, right?" she asked in a small voice.

He kissed the top of her head. "Of course we are."

Robin exhaled and melted against him. Looking past Patrick, she saw Stone standing in the corner. She clenched her eyes closed and when she opened them again, he was gone. She pressed her lips over his heart. "I love you Patrick."

xxxxx

Nearly a week after Anna and Sonny had first met, he had called her and asked to her to meet with him at his home. Max showed her in to the main room. Sonny extended his hand. "Thanks for meeting me here."

She shook his hand. "I wasn't sure you were going to call" she said.

"Can I offer you a drink?" he asked, motioning to his bar.

"Just water please." Anna was unwilling to have her senses even minutely dulled around him. Sonny passed her a glass of water and sat down in the chair. Anna sat on the couch. "Thank you" she said, taking the water. "What do you know?"

Sonny grimaced. "I've done a lot of digging and here is what I do know. Bruce Harris isn't in Italy - certainly not at any mental health facility. I've checked with most of my contacts in Europe and with customs, there is no record of him having left the U.S."

"Then where is he?"

"He was last seen approaching the hospital the day after Robin's accident and then he disappeared."

"Dammit, Robert has him." She silently cursed her ex-husband. She had suspected that he played a role in Harris' disappearance but didn't think it would be this. "He's going to kill him."

"Is that such a bad thing?" Sonny asked. Anna cocked her eyebrow. "Listen Anna - you and Robert have had to do some tough things in your line of work - this wouldn't be the first person he's offed."

Anna gave him a small smile. "While that may be true - this is the one that will haunt him. This isn't a mission for him Sonny, it's personal which means he will pay a bigger price than he knows. I can't have that happen - his daughter needs him. Can you find out where he has him?"

"I can."

"Will you? For Robin?"

"I will - I'll be in touch." Anna shook his hand again before leaving. Once he heard the front door close, he called to Max.

"Yes boss."

"Call Jason and tell him I need to see him immediately - we have a situation that needs his attention."


	112. Chapter 112

Chapter 112

'"Are you sure you're up for seeing Lulu?" Patrick asked, doing up the back of Robin's blue dress.

"I've been out of the hospital nearly a week and I left her a couple of messages but she hasn't called, so I need to see her."

"I don't want to tire yourself out though - lord knows what Brenda has planned tonight. What do you make of the cryptic invitation?" he asked, tying his tie.

"It said 'meet me in the private room at the Metrocourt for dinner and dress nicely' what is so cryptic about that?"

"It's from Brenda" he said simply "Ergo, nothing is what it seems."

"Ergo?" she smiled. "Are you trying to get me all hot and bothered with your big words?"

He turned around and nuzzled her neck. "Is it working?"

"Always" she moaned. "But we don't have time - not if I'm going to see Lulu and get to the dinner."

"Forget dinner - I'd rather be naked with you." He worked his tongue in small circles around her ear.

Robin tilted her head to the side, giving him more access. "We can be naked later" she moaned softly.

He crashed his mouth on to hers, coaxing her lips apart, leaving them both breathless when he finally pulled away. "Fine. But I'm counting on you to remember where we left things when we get back."

Robin gave him a feline smile. "Don't you worry - I've got it stored away" she tapped the side of her head. Patrick helped her down the stairs and out to the car. He put his latest book to read to Rian, 'Where the Wild Things Are' in the back seat before sliding behind the wheel.

Once at the hospital, he walked with her to Lulu's floor but she insisted on going the rest of the way on her own. He gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "I love you" he whispered to her. Robin nodded and took a deep breath before hobbling down the hall on her crutches. She stopped outside Lulu's room and stared at her. The young girl was absently turning the pages of a magazine, clearly not taking in anything before her eyes. Robin knew that look well. In the months after her diagnosis she was unable to process anything but the fact that she had tested HIV+. Her normal ability to multi-task had failed her and she was stuck with a one track mind. The mind is amazing thing, able to play tricks on you, let you imagine scenarios that simply will not happen but will create fear nonetheless. A tiny piece of Robin's heart shattered looking at her - nothing in Lulu's life would ever be the same. She walked through the door.

"Hi Lulu" she said quietly.

Lulu looked up and saw the kindness in Robin's eyes and began to cry immediately. Robin crossed the room as quickly as she could on her crutches. Reaching her bed, she tossed them to the ground and lifted herself into Lulu's bed. Wrapping her arms around the young girl, she pulled her to her and held on to her tightly. Like floodgates that had finally been released, Lulu began to sob, her body twitching. Robin rubbed her back.

"It's okay Lulu - I'm here - you're not alone in this." Robin continued to hold and soothe her until the heaving subsided.

Lulu looked up. "I'm sorry" she said quietly.

Robin's face softened as she gently wiped at Lulu's tears. "You're sorry? Lulu, you have NOTHING to be sorry about. It's me who is sorry - I have always taken the precautions necessary to avoid infecting other people. Never in a million years could I have conceived that this would happen and I just wish I could take it all away from you."

Lulu hugged her tighter. "I would do it again" she said quietly. "I didn't want you to die."

Robin let out a long steady breath, trying unsuccessfuly to keep her own tears at bay. "Thank you is so inadequate. You saved my life - you saved my baby's life. You are heoric and brave - a very real superhero walking among us mere mortals."

"I'm not a hero" she sniffled. "Look at what I did."

Robin kissed the top of her head. "Lulu, you are not the first person to think that was a solution instead of living. I...I mean I" she paused, unsure that she was ready to speak that outloud again. "I've been where you are and I wish I could tell you there's a shortcut, some faster way to accept what this all means but there isn't - the only way is through. But" she rubbed her back. "When you have enough people in your life who love you, like I did and like you do now, it becomes easier every day."

"I'm not strong like you are Robin."

Robin tilted her head up and looked into her tear filled blue eyes. "Who are you kidding Lulu? You did something that trained medical professionals wouldn't even do - you just dove in and responded."

"Doesn't that just make me stupid?"

Robin shook her head, her voice catching as she tried to speak. "No - no, it makes you incredibly brave. You have abundant strength, you just need to tap into it."

"Were you...were you scared, when you...you know."

"Every day" she nodded. "But as you learn a little more and you realize your life hasn't come to an end, you get a little less scared until one day, you just aren't."

"Are you there yet?"

Robin let out a small laugh. "Most days - there are still moments of doubt but Lulu, if I wasn't having doubts about HIV, there are a million other things to be insecure about. The upside is that this disease has focused my mind and I don't make a lot of room for the stuff that doesn't matter."

Lulu began to cry again. "I don't think I can do this."

For a brief moment, Robin felt like she was holding her 17 year old self. She squeezed her tighter, oblivious to her own tears falling. "You can - just not alone - I'm here for you."

"I met Rian" she said quietly.

"I heard - he's a lucky boy, he has his very own guardian angel here on earth." Lulu lifted her head and looked at her quizzically. "Well what would you call it" she said kindly. "Someone who protected him and saved him when he was in trouble - if that's not a guardian angel, I don't know what is."

"I kind of like that" she whispered. The two women held onto each other, silently seeking and providing comfort in a way that only people who have shared an experience can. Robin felt Lulu relax in her arms and though she knew the long road ahead of her, was confident Lulu had taken an important first step.

"Is this a private party?"

Robin and Lulu looked up and saw Patrick in the doorway. "No" Lulu said, sitting up straighter in bed. "How's Rian?"

Patrick smiled as he sat on the end of the bed. "He's great and he wanted me to tell you that he would love to see you anytime you were up for a visit."

"Really?" she sniffled. "I could go and see him?" She looked from Patrick to Robin.

"Of course" Robin said softly. "Any time - he gives a lot of love for one so tiny. So hold his hand, feel him move around - I always find it makes the world a little less scary."

Lulu nodded. "You guys are dressed up - are you going somewhere?"

Patrick smiled. "Brenda has organized a dinner of some kind for us - I'm secretly afraid it's some kind of shopping expedition and I'm going to walk out of there with a new wardrobe" he said conspiratorilly.

"Well it's not like you couldn't use it" she shot at him.

Patrick's mouth fell open and Robin began to giggle. "Nice one Lu"

Lulu laughed in spite of herself. "Sorry, that was kind of mean."

"So take it back" he teased.

"I said it was mean, I didn't say it wasn't true."

Patrick looked at his watch. "We should probably get going" he said to Robin.

"But we can stay if you need us to Lulu" Robin added, shooting Patrick a look.

"No - it's okay - I'm glad you came by but I think I'm going to sleep for a while now."

Robin kissed her on the cheek and hugged her again. "You can call me anytime, you know that, right?"

"I do - thanks"

Patrick gave her leg a squeeze. "Later, 'gator" He helped Robin down from the bed and passed the crutches to her. They both stopped at the door and gave her one last wave before heading to the elevators.

Lulu returned to her magazine, feeling suddenly imbued by strength from the visit. She was coming to truly understand that she wasn't alone, that there was a mountain of support around her. She heard a knock at her door. "Forget something?" she asked before she looked up. Her mouth fell open as she saw her father, Luke, standing in the door.

"Hi baby girl" he said coming into the room. "I hear things have gotten kind of heavy lately - thought I'd help you carry the load."

xxxxx

"Did I do something wrong back there?" Patrick asked as the got in the Metrocourt elevator.

"No"

"Then what was with the look of death?"

"Nothing."

"Christ, are we back to this again?"

"Back to what?"

"I ask a question and you give me one word answers - a little technique you like to use when you're pissed with me."

"I'm not pissed - just drop it - I want to have a good time tonight."

Patrick exhaled - things seemed harder these days rather than easier. All thoughts disappeared as the door to the Metrocourt private dining room opened.

"SURPRISE!!" everyone shouted.

Patrick put an arm out to steady Robin on her crutches. Both of their mouths dropped open as they scanned the room seeing it filled with family and friends. Brenda scampered forward.

"Happy baby shower!" she squealed.


	113. Chapter 113

Chapter 113

"What?" Robin said as her mouth dropped open.

"It's your baby shower!" Brenda squealed. "Are you surprised? You look surprised - we got you!" She squeezed her hand.

"A baby shower?" Robin asked, stunned as everyone began to crowd around her. "I can't have a baby shower" she said.

"Sure you can!" Brenda enthused "You were going to have one next month so we've moved it up a bit - isn't it great?!"

"Yeah, great." Robin said unenthusiastically.

Patrick rubbed Robin's back. "This is a great surprise, Brenda - thanks." He looked up and smiled at their friends. "Let's have a seat though - old peg leg can only balance on one foot for so long" He guided her to a chair and helped her sit down. Leaning in, he gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "Let's have fun" he whispered to her. Robin smiled as his breath tickled her skin.

"Okay" she whispered.

Anna came over and wrapped her arms around her daughter. "You look wonderful"

"I'm stunned"

"Okay then luv, stunned but wonderful."

xxxxx

Nathalie moved beside Patrick and handed him a beer. "You okay?" she asked.

Patrick shrugged. "That's a tough question."

"What's going on P?"

"How do you find Robin?" he asked, not tearing his eyes from his girlfriend, currenty engulfed by her cousins and her parents.

"What do you mean?" Nathalie asked, following his gaze.

"Does she seem a little off to you?"

"Well, she seemed surprised when you guys opened the door - she's probably still in shock." Nathalie watched his face. "But that's not what you're asking me."

"She's short-tempered lately and seems skittish."

"It could be the hormones" she offered.

Patrick shook his head. "Seems like an easy answer."

"Don't dismiss it entirely" Nathalie said. "Those first few weeks after childbirth can send your emotions for a real loop. And don't underestimate the effect of not having held or cared for Rian yet has had on her. She's got all these maternal feelings and no outlet for them other than holding his hand through an incubator."

"I haven't cared for him yet either" he grumbled.

Nathalie put her arm around him. "I know Patrick and I know you've been working so hard to keep everything together but this is really one of those situations where it's different for men and women. You want to hold him and care for him but she has biology telling her what to do and she can't do it - that's got to be awfully frustrating."

He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "You're very smart."

"I keep telling you I'm not just a pretty face" she teased. "How is Rian?"

Patrick grinned involuntarily. "Getting stronger every day. I really think he's going to be off the vent soon."

"Try not to sweat the little stuff P - you guys have so much going on - just try to enjoy the moments."

He smiled. "And how about you? Are you enjoying the moments?"

She gave him a half smile. "It's been good for the kids and I to be here - even with everything going on - it feels, I don't know, it feels good to be here."

"I'm glad. Where are the kids?" he asked, scanning the room.

"Hotel babysitter. I thought it might be too much activity for them to be here."

"Ah." He took a long drink of his beer. "And I suppose you had a role in all this."

"Really, no. I was just one of Brenda's many minions" she giggled. "That woman needs a small country to run."

"Thanks for doing this - it means a lot."

"Believe it or not - you're pretty important to all these people. I mean, I can barely tolerate you but some people here actually think you're a good guy." She gave his arm a squeeze. "Have fun tonight - you've earned it."

xxxx

Brenda brought a drink to Robin. "Are you having fun yet?"

"Would you quit asking me that every five seconds?" she snapped.

"Snappish much?" Brenda said.

Robin's face softened. "I'm sorry Bren - this is a really nice thing you did and you clearly went to a lot of trouble."

Brenda stroked her hair. "Tell me what's wrong - because something clearly is."

"I'm tired" she sipped her drink. "I went to see Lulu today and I guess that took more out of me than I thought."

She threw her arms around her friend. "I'm sorry - I had no idea. How was she?"

"Scared, terrified, angry."

"So just like you when you were 17?"

Robin laughed. "Pretty much."

"Well she's got something you didn't have."

"What's that?"

"You - she has you and that is going to be a huge help for her."

"I hope so."

"It will be - I know how much better I am for having you in my life"

Robin wiped at tears. "You can't say things like that" she said. "No fair making me cry."

"It's true though. I love you more than anyone else in this world -you know that right?"

"Oh god - did you hire strippers? Strippers arent' reall appropriate for showers Bren" Robin teased.

"Damn - is it too late to cancel?"

"Did you learn nothing from that 25th birthday party you threw for me?"

"You mean other than the fact that you should never hire french strippers? Marcel Marceau wannabes do NOT make sexy strippers."

Both girls giggled at the memory. Robin looked across the room. "How long has that been going on?" she motioned with her head.

Brenda followed her eyes and Nikolas and Nathalie standing chatting with Noah and Anna. Nik had wrapped his fingers around Nathalie's and given a quick squeeze before letting go. "Ooh - the prince wastes no time."

Robin turned to her. "Seriously?"

"Oh, I so picked up on the vibes last week at Kelly's. I think he's falling for her." Brenda tapped her chin with her finger. "Tell me again why I never dated him? He's dark and handsome and smart and royalty. What was my problem?"

"He was 16 when you knew him and you were too blinded by someone else who was dark and handsome"

"Ah - Sonny - he's supposed to be here. That's okay, isn't it?"

"Are you planning on getting back together with him?" Robin asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Uh no - I'm fairly confident that ship has sailed."

"Then yes, it's fine."

"I'm going to go get another drink - we're going to to do gifts soon. I'll be back."

Seeing Lainey Winters lining up for a drink, Brenda headed straight to her. "Lainey, right?" she asked touching her arm.

Lainey smiled. "The famous Brenda"

"Er, yeah - less famous these days."

"Not around these parts - there are some men who don't seem to get over you" she nodded her head in Sonny's direction who was staring at her. Brenda gave him a small wave.

"It's a burden" she joked. "Can I ask you a professional question?" her tone suddenly serious.

Lainey noticed the change in her. "Sure."

"What does it mean when someone talks to a dead person?"

"Brenda are you talking to a dead person?"

"No not me - I barely have time to talk to all the living people I know. It's just...um...one of my friends seems to be engaging her long dead boyfriend in conversation - or at least I caught her doing it once, I don't know how often she actually does it."

Lainey studied her face. "Is this friend someone who's recently released from the hospital having given birth to a premature baby?"

"Possibly."

Lainey took a deep breath. "Is she talking to him or does she see him?"

"See him? You mean like how that kid in that movie saw dead people?"

"Something like that" Lainey smiled.

"I never asked her but she was talking to him - out loud."

"There are lots of reasons why someone might talk to a loved one who's passed - if it's a recent passing..."

"It's been more than a decade."

"Ah. Has she ever done this before?"

"I don't think so - is she losing her mind?"

"Well, your friend has been through some very traumatic events that included brain surgery. There can sometimes be a physical reason for these visions. Psychologically speaking, seeing or talking to a someone who isn't there can be a manifestation of insecurities or deep concerns - it can be the subconscious trying to assert itself and using a familiar form or voice to make itself known."

"What do you think it is?"

"Brenda, I have no way of knowing unless I examine the patient."

"Is it dangerous?"

"On the surface no but it can be covering many other things - any sudden change in behvaviour is cause for concern and should be looked at. Have you talked to Patrick?"

She shook her head. "Look at him" she nodded to Patrick, sitting beside Robin and chatting with Mac and Lucky. "He's barely holding on. If I go and make a big deal about something and it's nothing it could push him over the edge. Can you do something?"

Lainey blew out a breath. "Well, I can have a visit with Robin and see if anything shows itself - if it does, I'll have a word with her and Noah and see if we can't run some tests."

"She's been through so much" Brenda's eyes began to well. "You have no idea - I just want her - I need her to be okay."

Lainey put a comforting hand on her arm. "We'll get to the bottom of it Brenda. Looking around this room you can see how much love people have for her, we won't let anything happen to her."

Nathalie came over to join them. "I don't think Robin is going to hang in for much longer - shall we get going on the gifts?" she asked.

"Good plan" Brenda said, flashing a grateful smile at Lainey. Walking towards the centre of the room, Brenda tapped her glass with a knife. "Okay everyone - I hope you've all had a chance to sample the delicious food and enjoy a cocktail or two but now it's time for the real reason we're here - the gifts!!"

Everyone clapped in response.

"Gifts?" Robin asked.

"Lord knows that's the only reason I got pregnant...or married for that matter" Monica Quartermaine said, eliciting giggles from all the women present.

Brenda brought over the first gift. "Now normally we make the woman wear the hat made of bows but we're thinking of changing things up a little. All those in favour of Patrick being publicly humiliated raise your hand." All the hands in the room shot up.

"Dad?" Patrick said. "I thought you loved me"

"Yes but I love seeing you squirm more."

"There's just no respect" he grumbled good naturedly.

"First gift" Brenda placed a large box in front of Robin.

Checking the card first, she saw it came from Lucky and Liz. Opening the box, she gasped as she pulled out a hand knitted white blanket with a football and hockey stick in one corner and Rian Scorpio Drake in the other. "It's beautiful" she said. "Simply gorgeous." She passed it to Patrick who was surprised to discover how moved he was by the gift. Robin's pregnancy had begun under a cloud of uncertainty and continued with many bumps along the way. It had often felt like it was the two of them against the world. Then when Rian was born premature, it became a daily struggle for life but here in this moment it was a celebration - a real celebration of a new life - their child. The joy made him speechless.

The next gift was from Anna and brought both Robin and Patrick to tears. She had arranged three frames with a baby photo of Robin and of Patrick and put a photo of Rian in the third frame. Robin looked at her mother and mouthed 'thank you', she was too overcome to speak.  
Noah, Robert and Mac stepped forward. "That's the problem with bringing men to these girly events" Robert said. "Everyone gets all teary."

"Yeah - thank goodness you're here" Mac quipped "No one will cry over you." The entire room laughed.

Noah handed a large box to Patrick. "Son, this is a gift from the fathers to you - it represents all of our years of fatherly wisdom"

"I think the box might be too big" Anna said, causing a ripple of laughter. Robert and Mac stuck their tongues out at her. Patrick took the box and tore off the wrapping paper. Reaching into the box, he pulled out a dozen dishtowels. He shot the fathers a quizzical look.

"Dishtowels double quite nicely as diapers" Mac said.

"What do you hold them in place with?" Robin asked.

Patrick reached into the box. "Duct tape" he said smiling.

"Duct tape has many uses" Robert added. The room laughed.

Patrick pulled out a list of phone numbers from the box. "What's this?"

"A list of every female that we know who is a mother and can get you out of trouble when you're with Rian alone."

"And the bubblewrap?"

"For when you get voice mail" Mac teased. "Wrap Rian in it and you'll survive until help arrives."

"The beer?" he asked pulling out a six pack.

"Your father's survival kit is now complete." Robert said.

Patrick got up and hugged all three men. "Welcome to the club" Mac whispered to him. "You're going to be great" Noah said.

They opened several more gifts including teddy bears, lego and a racecar set courtesy of Nathalie. Patrick looked at Robin, whose eyes were beginning to get heavy. "Ready to go?" he asked her, playing with her hair.

"Yeah" she said quietly.

Patrick caught Brenda's eye. "I think we're going to go" he whispered.

She nodded. "There's just one more gift." Reaching beside her, she handed a bag to Robin. "It's not your total gift but it's what I could get, the rest is coming from Italy."

"Brenda - you didn't have to."

"Oh but I did - I suggest that Robin open it." Robin opened the bag and pulled out a long purple feather boa and giggled. "Oh there's more." Brenda encouraged. Robin reached into the bag and pulled out a lacy thong from La Perla.

"Brenda!" she exclaimed.

"Keep digging"

Robin extracted the last piece from the bag, a pair of fur-lined handcuffs. Holding them up, she covered her face in embarassment. "What does any of this have to do with a baby?" she asked, laughing.

"It's a way to ensure there will be other babies" Brenda said simply. All the guests roared with laughter.

Patrick reached over and took the cuffs from her, pocketing them. "It's never too early to practice" Robin smacked him playfully on the chest.

"Before you go" Noah said "I would like to propose a toast to you both. Though this has been a time of stress and difficulty for you both, you have come through it because of your love for each other. You have brought a beautiful new life to this world and this world is in need of beautiful new lives. You are an example to all of us of faith, belief and love.The secret to life is balancing the big moments with the little ones - I hope you have equal measures of both. On behalf of your friends and family, I congratulate you on becoming parents and wish you and your new family nothing but a lifetime of happiness. To Patrick, Robin and Rian."


	114. Chapter 114

Chapter 114

"Are you ready?" Robin asked impatiently.

"Almost - do you mind if I put a shirt on? I'm fairly certain there's a dress code in the NICU" Patrick teased.

Almost a week following the surprise baby shower, they had received a call from Dr. Trudel informing them Rian had been taken off the vent and they would be able to hold him. It was the biggest step yet to bringing him home. As soon as Robin had heard the news she insisted they get to the hospital right away. Patrick suggested they both change out of their pajamas and shower before taking off for the hospital.

Pulling a green polo sweater over his head and did up his belt. "Okay, ready."

"Let's go" she said, already hopping down the stairs.

"Did you want me to give you a pair of rollerblades and you could just skate there?" Patrick was relieved to see her so excited.

The past week had been a rollercoaster of emotions with Robin's temper becoming increasingly short. He had tried to restrain himself from snapping back at her but he wasn't always successful. He was hoping that finally holding their baby would help improver her mood. He helped her into the car before getting behind the wheel and heading to the hospital.

"Are you excited?" she asked "I'm excited - are you excited?"

"I'm excited" he smiled.

"It's going to be so great - in our arms, Patrick, he's going to be in our arms."

At the red light, he leaned over and bussed her lips. "I know you've waited a long time for this - it's a big moment."

"I can't wait!! Can you drive faster?"

Patrick laughed. "How many shots of espresso did you have this morning?"

She slapped him playfully. "I'm just excited."

"I've noticed" he said pulling into the hospital parking. He had barely brought the car to a stop when Robin threw open the door and pulling her crutches out, tried to get up from the car. Patrick just shook his head and went around to her side, helping her up from the seat. They made their way to NICU in nearly record time.

"We don't need gloves any more" she said excitedly. "We can actually touch him"

Patrick kissed her on the cheek. "Try not have your head pop off"

She laughed. "I'm pretty bad aren't I?"

"Well let's just say you're entertaining."

Robin settled into the rocking chair, legs boucing up and down as she waited for the nurse to bring Rian to her. Patrick kept his hand on her shoulder and bit his lip as he saw Rian coming towards them. Tears fell down her face the minute the nurse placed him in her arms.

"Hi angel" she said softly, stroking his face, running a finger along his lips. "Hi Rian - it's so nice to be able to hold you. You're so handsome" she cooed.

Patrick felt a lump form in his throat as he watched the woman he loved hold his child. Nothing else mattered, nothing else existed but this one moment. He had worried that he would never be able to love another person enough, that he wouldn't be able to love them in the way they deserved. Looking now at the two most important people in his life he realized it was just the opposite. It was almost like he had too much love, too much joy running through him. Bending down he kissed Rian on the top of his soft head.

"Hi little man" he whispered.

Robin looked up at Patrick, brown eyes gleaming with unshed happy tears. She had dreamed of this moment for much of her life and now that it was here, it was almost too good to be true. There had been a time, shortly after Stone's death when she didn't believe she would live to see her 25th birthday, let alone her 30th. The idea of love and children seemed completely out of reach. Rian was her miracle and it was Patrick's love for her that made it happen.

"I love you" she said, gazing into his eyes.

He gently brushed his lips against hers. "I love you too" he said. "You are the most beautiful mother I've ever seen."

Robin gave him a watery smile. "Do you want to hold him?"

"Are you sure you're ready to let him go?"

Robin grinned. "I've just realized that I will never be ready to let him go. God, Patrick -I didn't think it was possible to love like this"

"Me either" he said, staring at her. Bending down, he gently took Rian from her arms and held him in his own. Patrick tried to speak but found his voice had deserted him. He smiled at his son, giving him his pinkie finger to suckle on.

Robin stroked Patrick's leg. "It looks good on you" she said.

Patrick nodded wordlessly as he gazed lovingly at his son. "He's beautiful" he whispered. "Aren't you my boy - you are this beautiful bundle of goodness." He kissed the top of his head again before placing him back in Robin's arms. She rocked back and forth in the chair, singing quietly to him. Patrick never knew that he wanted this until he saw it and now he couldn't imagine not having it.

"Well this is a happy sight" Dr. Trudel said, approaching the new family.

"Hi Dr. Trudel" Patrick said.

"Patrick, Robin - how are you both doing?"

"Good" Robin said, smiling at her child.

"How is Rian doing?" Patrick asked.

"Very well. He's responded quite well to being off the vent and the latest battery of tests reveal that his heart is healing nicely. In fact, barring any changes in his health, I would expect that you should be able to take him home in a week."

"Really?" Robin squealed.

The doctor smiled kindly at the parents. This was one of the good parts of his job. "Really."

"Wow" Patrick exhaled, rubbing his hands over his face. "He's really going to be able to come home?"

"He'll be all yours."

Patrick extended his hand. "Thank you very much " he said effusively. "I just can't thank you and your team for all you've done."

The doctor shook his hand. "It's been my pleasure. We'll have a family conference the day before his discharge to make sure we answer all your questions and that you're comfortable with what's needed."

Robin looked up at the doctor and smiled. "Thanks."

Dr. Trudel nodded and left. Patrick squatted down in front of Robin with one hand on her and one hand on Rian. He breathed in deeply and shook his head gently. He opened his mouth to speak but was overcome. Robin stroked his face and smiled at him.

"I know" she whispered. "I know."

His eyes glistened, wet with tears. "You have given me the two most amazing things" he said thickly. "Your love and our baby. I couldn't ask for more" He kissed her deeply and passionately.

xxxxxxx

"Sonny" Anna said, taking a seat across from him at Kelly's.

"Anna. Coffee?" he asked.

She nodded. "Please" Sonny signalled to Georgie to bring the coffee over for Anna. "I assume you have news."

"I do and I'll need a plan from you" he said, twirling a napking through his fingers.

"Tell me what you know and then we'll discuss a plan."

Sonny waited until Georgie had poured the coffee and left before speaking again. "Your instincts were right - Robert has Harris."

Anna sighed in disappointment. "Where?"

"In an abandoned farm house about 60 miles from town."

"Have you seen him? What kind of shape is he in?"

Sonny shook his head. "We didn't go in - we didn't want to tip Robert off that he had been found out in case he decided to move him and we lose the trail."

Anna nodded. "Of course. What do you think is going on?"

Sonny shrugged. "Knowing the little I know about your ex and being a father and knowing what I would do if anyone hurt my child, I suspect he is making Harris his own personal play thing."

"I was afraid of that" she put down the coffee cup. "Robert can be cold blooded when need be and he wouldn't think twice about hurting Bruce"

"What do you want to do? We can go in and free him, if that's what you want - or do you want to talk to Robert?"

"I've tried to talk to Robert but he's just shining me on. And what of Bruce if you free him - who's to say he wouldn't go running to the press and tell what Robert has done? And what that would do to him and to Robin..." her voice trailed off.

Sonny leaned forward, his arms on the table. "I can make it so that Harris won't go to the press."

"Why is it better if you take care of him rather than Robert?"

Sonny gave a mischevious smile. "I wouldn't be taking care of him in that way - we'll just fix him up and make it clear that blowing the whistle on Robert is a bad idea."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would you do that? Isn't there some satisfaction to taking someone like Robert down - he would take you down if he had the chance."

"You asked me to look into this for Robin and that remains my motivation. Under other circumstances I wouldn't hesitate to do what's needed if Robert got in my way but this is different. I promised Stone I would look out for Robin and I haven't done a very good job of it - this is chance for me to right that wrong."

Anna nodded. "Fine, give me a few days and I'll come up with a plan - will you keep an eye on Robert in the meantime?"

"Of course."

"Thank you Sonny." Anna drained her coffee and left. She had much planning to do.

xxxxxxxx

Robert slid into a seat at the bar on the Haunted Star. Though closed to the public, it was never closed to friends. Luke passed his old friend a glass of scotch and poured one for himself.

"To our daughters" Luke said, raising his glass.

"To our daughters" Robert said, clinking his glass against Luke's.

They both drained their drinks. "How was Lulu?"

"Terrified."

"And how are you?"

"Terrified" he admitted.

Robert nodded. "It's the worst feeling in the world - to have something happen to your child that you can't fix."

"I remember when Robin was diagnosed - I was devastated - it was like it was happening to one of my own..."

"And now it is"

"And now it is" he refilled their glasses. "But my daughter has yours as a shining light to follow - Robert, Robin has been grace under pressure since she was little and you should be proud of the woman she is."

Robert licked at his bottom lip. "More than you know, mate."

Luke shot back his drink. "Do you think we're being punished?"

"What do you mean?"

"You and I have lived some pretty big adventures and have come through with barely a scratch."

"That we have."

"Do you think the universe is punishing us for our misdeeds through our children?"

Robert swirled his drink around in the glass. "If we are - we need to make it right."

"How do we do that amigo? Right is not a word you and I are that intimate with."

"Well for starters, I'm going to make sure that asshole never hurts another person again."

"Which asshole?"

"Harris - he will pay for what he did to our daughters."

"I thought he was getting his head shrunk in an Italian cuckoo shop."

Robert drained his drink. "Don't believe everything you read in the papers." He stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"To even the score...for our daughters"


	115. Chapter 115

Chapter 115

Patrick followed Robin into the house. She hopped to the kitchen and sat at the table. Flipping through the nearly 20 photos they had taken on their digital camera, she couldn't help but smile. Biting her lip as she came across the first one of Patrick holding Rian, she looked from the camera to him and a feline smile crossed her face. Patrick placed a glass of juice in front of her.

"What?" he said, noticing the expression on her face.

"I need to go to bed."

"Are you feeling all right? Are you tired out?" he asked in concern.

Robin grabbed hold of his belt buckle. "I'm not tired out but I do have an ache?"

Patrick's mouth went dry as Robin began to undo his belt. "An..an ache?"

"Mmm-hmmm" she nodded, not taking her eyes from his. "And I think it needs your particular attention, doctor."

His eyes become dark with desire. "Really - and what brought on this ache?"

Robin licked her lips. "The sight of you, holding our baby - do you have any idea how hot you are?"

Patrick's tongue darted out of his mouth. "Really?" he threaded her hair through his fingers.

She pulled his hips closer. "Really. So how about it doctor, care to help me with my bed rest?"

He stared into her eyes, ready to get lost in the dark pools of desire. Bending down, he picked her up and seized her lips. He let out a soft moan as Robin's tongue went in search of his. He carried her up the stairs and laid her gently on the bed. He pulled his sweater over his head and walked to her on the bed. Robin raised her arms and ran them over his bare skin. Patrick shivered under her touch. She grazed her hand over the zipper of his jeans. He groaned, closing his eyes.

She smiled. "It looks like you have an ache too" she said huskily.

Patrick flashed his dimple at her. "Do you think you can fix it?"

"I'm confident I can make it all better" she said, undoing the button of his jeans and unzipping them.

He pushed them over his hips and stepped out of his boxers. He lay on the bed beside her and slowly ran his hand under her top. Robin arched to meet his touch. He ran his thumb over her nipple causing her breath to hitch. Hovering over her, he lowered his mouth onto hers greedily sucking on her tongue. Running her hands over his shoulders and down his arms, she brought them across his chest. Patrick pressed himself into her as she rolled his nipples between her thumb and forefinger. Breaking the kiss only long enough to pull her shirt over her head, Patrick dropped his head between her breasts and breathed in her heady scent. He traced his fingertips down her body, slipping them past the waist band of her skirt. He brushed them over her panties, tracing feather light circles over her sex.

"Fuck" she hissed. She pushed her hips up into his hand.

"You are the yummiest mummy" he said as he lashed her nipple with his tongue.

Robin pulled at his hair, pushing his head further down on her breast. Patrick pushed her panties to the side and slipped two fingers inside of her slick channel. Robin spread her legs giving him greater access. He continued to move his thumb in circles while pumping his fingers in and out of her.

"Patrick" she said, her breathing coming in spurts. "What about..." her voice trailed off.

"Come for me Robin" he whispered moving his mouth to her neck. Nipping at her earlobe, he moved closer to her ear "I want to watch you come" he whispered. She shivered and stilled before tightening around his hand. "That's it baby - god you are so beautiful" Robin's head thrashed from side to side as she rode wave after wave of her orgasm.

Finally spent, she opened her eyes, panting and turned to Patrick. She covered his mouth in staccato kisses. He rolled onto his back, taking her with him. "Did that help your ache?" he said, kissing her back.

"Mmm" she snuggled closer to him, dropping a long hot kiss on his chest. "But I don't think it did anything for yours" she said.

"Oh it did something all right" he said, running his hands down her back.

Robin let her hand wander down to his throbbing erection. She stroked it slowly. "I think it made it worse."

He smiled seductively. "Well have you come across a cure in all your research?"

"In fact I have" she said rolling back to the side of the bed.

Reaching in to the bedside table, she pulled out a box of condoms and opened the box. With a condom in her hand, she returned to him. She dropped slow, languid kisses on his chest and worked her way down his body. Reaching his hips, she dragged her tongue along his hip bone causing him to buck in response. "You taste so good" she said hotly. Her hand roamed up the inside of his thigh while she continued to work her tongue on his body. His legs spread in response and Robin let her hands explore without touching his arousal. Patrick lifted his hips off the bed in an effort to get her to take him in his hands but she resisted his request.

"Gah - Robin - I need you touch me"

"I am touching you" she said teasingly.

He exhaled in frustration. Robin nipped at the taught skin around his hips before finally letting her hand take hold of his erection. She lightly dragged her nails along the underside and Patrick clenched his eyes at the sensation. She stroked him, applying more pressure as she worked his length. Patrick blew out his cheeks. Robin finally tore open the packet and rolled the condom over him with her mouth. She had barely finished putting it on when Patrick rolled her onto her side. Carefully lifting her leg, he placed it over his hip and tried to enter her as gently as he could. He lay still, allowing them both to adjust to the sensation. "You feel so good inside me" she said, locking eyes with him. Patrick let out a small growl before he began thrusting against her. Robin met him movement for movement and continued to assault his skin with her lips. Patrick pushed himself further into her, elminating any space between them. He lowered his head and began to suck on her neck as his orgasm ripped through him. Robin held onto him tightly as his body shook and trembled until he finally collapsed onto his back, breathless.

Robin kissed his shoulder. "I think you gave me a hickey."

Patrick looked over at her and the saw the bruise forming. "So I did" he said proudly.

"I'm not sure this is how new parents are supposed to behave" she giggled.

"If it isn't, it should be" he said gathering her to him. He kissed the side of her head. "I love you."

xxxxxxx

"Hi Lulu!" Grace announced, running into the room.

"Grace - we don't simply go running into people's rooms" Nathalie admonished. "I'm sorry Lulu - we were at a check up and Grace asked if she could come see you."

Lulu smiled as she helped the young girl onto the bed. "How are you Gracie?" she asked, poking her belly point.

She giggled and grabbed her stomach. "Fine - are you awake now?"

Lulu looked up in concern at Nathalie, who smiled kindly and gave her a wink. "Gracie - you can see perfectly well that she's awake."

"I know" the little girl said "Are you done sleeping now though?"

Lulu let out a small laugh and stroked her hair. "Yes, I'm done sleeping now."  
"How are you doing Lulu?" Nathalie asked, still in the doorway.

She pursed her lips and gave a little nod. "Today's a good day and according to Lainey that's what I'm supposed to focus on."

"That's good - you look well."

She smiled sheepisly. "I understand I have you to thank..."

Nathalie shook her head. "No thanks needed - but I would like to remind you that I still have your 20 you gave me for 'legal advice' so if ever you find you need someone to talk to - you have me on retainer."

"Thanks - I'm going home today"

"That's good news"

"Can I come home with you?" Grace asked. "We could watch my Dora videos - she's cool - not like Patty"

Both Nathalie and Lulu laughed. "Patty is clearly not cool" Lulu said.

"Grace, honey, I don't think Lulu wants to watch Dora videos with you today - maybe another day."

"Actually" Lulu began. "A little Dora might be just my speed."

"And we could colour?" Grace asked hopefully.

"Grace Louise Walker - when did you get to be so bold? We do not invite ourselves to other people's homes."

"I'd really like you guys to come" Lulu said.

"Come where?" came the smooth voice. Nathalie could feel Nikolas behind her and blushed immediately. A small smile played at Lulu's lips as she watched her brother try to keep his cool when he was clearly attracted to Nathalie. "Hi Nathalie" he said softly.

"Hi Nik" she said, not quite meeting his eyes.

"Hi Gracie" he said waved to her.

"Hi Nik" she waved back. "Lulu and I are going to watch Dora"

Nikolas cocked an eyebrow. "You sure that's not too advanced for you Lu?" he teased.

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Everyone's a comedian."

"What's a comedian?" Grace asked, playing with Lulu's hair.

"Someone who's funny"

"Like Patty?"

"No - that's funny -looking" Lulu joked.

"Oh" she said very seriously. "He does look funny"

Nathalie shook her head. "Poor Patrick."

"So" Nikolas began quietly "If Gracie is coming over to watch Dora videos, does that mean you're coming over too?"

Nathalie looked at him from underneath her eyelashes. "If you'd like me to."

Unable to stop himself, Nikolas reached out taking Nathalie's finger between his thumb and index finger. "I would like you to." They stared at each other until Lulu cleared her throat loudly. Nikolas dropped her hand quickly.

"Uh Grace" Nathalie said, blushing. "If you're going to watch videos with Lulu later, we need to go pick up Oliver and you need to change since you are wearing your lunch down the front of it."

Grace stood up on the bed and kissed Lulu on the cheek. "Love you Lulu" she said, before scrambling down from the bed.

"Love you too Gracie" Lulu said softly, inexplicably moved by the small gesture.

"We'll see you later" Nathalie said to both before leaving the room. Nikolas smiled.

"Anything you care to share with me?" Lulu said after Nathalie left.  
Nikolas smirked as he came in the room and sat on her bed. "No." He took her hand. "Are you sure you're ready to come home?"

"Do you...do you not want me?"

Nikolas pulled her into his arms and kissed the side of her head. "I want you Lulu - I want you home with me and I want to help you in whatever way I can - I just don't want you to feel pressured."

"I'll be okay" she said and for the first time she believed it.

xxxxxxxx

"So who is coming for dinner?" Patrick asked as Robin sorted through print out of photos of Rian.

"Kelly, Lainey, Nikolas, Nathalie, Brenda and your dad."

"Why my dad and not your dad?"

"I can't get a hold of my dad - he must be on a mission or something. Besides your dad is fun."

"For you - because he loves you."

"He loves you too" she said, holding up two photos.

"That one" he said, pointing to the one in her left hand. "He loves to humiliate me which is something he likes to do when he has an audience like you and Brenda."

"Wimp" she teased.

"Easy for you to say. So what are we having for dinner?"

"Take out - Brenda's bringing it over - it's a no fuss dinner with friends. If Rian's coming home next week, now is the time to do this. Can you believe it's already been two days since we found out he's coming home?"

"We'll still be able to do dinners when he's home"

"I know - but I want to do one now.

He raised his hands. "Okay." Patrick looked at his watch. "They're going to be here in a few hours - do you need help getting to the shower?"

"No - I got it." She held up the photos. "He is the most perfect child ever"

"And your objectivity is awe inspiring." he joked. "Do you want to share a shower?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

Patrick picked her up and raced up the stairs with her. He set her down in the bathroom. "I'll be right there" he said as she turned the water on. Robin smiled to him as she peeled off her shirt.

"Robin" came the soft voice.

"Stone?" she sighed. "Why are you here?"

"Why are you here?" he asked. "Is this where you want to be? Is this what you want?"

"It is - why do you keep asking me?"

"Because you don't seem sure - are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Remember when we would play Let's Pretend? What do you think our life would be like if we were together?"

"I'm with Patrick, Stone - we have a baby."

"But is that what you want? Does he love you like I do?"

"Don't you think this is what I want? He loves me Stone."

"Robin - who are you talking to?" Patrick asked walking into the bathroom.

"No one - I'm just talking out loud" she said, clenching her eyes. Opening them she was relieved to see he was gone.


	116. Chapter 116

Chapter 116

Robin had just finished setting the table when she heard Brenda's key in the door. "Hey Bren, in here" she called to her.

Brenda walked to the kitchen, carrying the food with one hand over her eyes. "Are you guys decent?"

Robin laughed. "Do you think we have sex all the time or something?"

Brenda dropped her hand. "Er - yes?"

"Funny girl - pass me the bag"

Brenda passed her the food. "Where is Doc Hot?" she asked looking around.

"Getting dressed" Robin said as she unpacked the food and put it in the oven to keep it warm.

"So you're saying if I got her a few minutes earlier you wouldn't have actually been decent."

Robin shook her head. "You're impossible - we had a shower and..."

Brenda covered her ears. "Lalalalalalalalalala - I can't hear you"

Robin balled up a paper towel and threw it at her. "Could you light the candles for me?"

"Sure" she said, taking the lighter.

Robin opened the wine and poured it into the decanter as Brenda came back into the kitchen. "So uh, Robs"

"Yeah?"

"Have you been talking to Stone lately?" she asked nervously.

Robin froze, her hand twitching around the wine bottle. "Why.." she swallowed. "Why do you ask?"

"I uh, I just want to make sure you're okay"

"I'm fine" she said sharply.

"Okay - down tiger"

Robin exhaled and turned around. "Brenda, I know you mean well but if something were wrong or if I wasn't okay, I would tell you."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Okay then - I'll go get the door" Brenda said as the doorbell rang.

She greeted Noah with a big smile. "Hi Noah"

"Brenda - how are you?"

"Fine thanks - come on in" Noah followed Brenda to the kitchen. "Look who I found - Dr. Grandpa Hottie"

"Would you please stop calling him that?" Patrick asked coming into the kitchen behind them.

"What? You think you're the only hottie around here?" Brenda teased. "I mean, Noah is the O.H."

"O.H.?" Noah and Patrick asked.

"Original Hottie" Brenda said, taking a drink of her wine. Robin giggled and Noah blushed.

"Don't encourage her" Patrick admonished Robin.

"Jealous baby?" she asked. "I mean your dad is hot - we've discussed this."

Noah covered his face with his hands. "Can we please stop talking about my hotness?"

"At least we agree there is hotness" Brenda said as the doorbell rang again.

"I'll get it" Patrick said "I need out of this room before my head explodes." Patrick opened the door to Lainey. "Hi Lainey - come in."

"Thanks - Kelly sends her regrets - emergency c-section"

Patrick nodded. "What are the chances, right?"

"Exactly." She smiled. "You look like you're doing well."

"I am, thanks" he beamed. "Rian comes home next week and we're pretty excited."

"How's Robin doing?" she asked cautiously.

"She's doing well - come in and see for yourself." He led her to the kitchen.

Lainey hugged Robin. "You look great sweetie."

"So do you - no Kelly?"

"She got called in." All the doctors in the room nodded knowingly.

"So all we're missing is Nik and Nathalie" Robin said.

"Do you think they're coming together?" Brenda asked excitedly.

"Is there something going on there?" Lainey asked. "Cause lucky lucky Nathalie if that's the case"

"Don't you mean lucky Nik?" Noah said quietly. Everyone turned to look at him.

"Do you know something Dad?" Patrick asked curiously.

Suddenly aware that he may haved stepped in it, Noah tried to cover. "No -ah, nothing - just Nathalie is an attractive woman and if she were interested in Nikolas, he would be a lucky man."

Robin laughed. "Noah, remind me to have my mother give you a few spy sessions on how to lie without letting people know you're lying."

"I'm sure Anna could give him all kinds of lessons" Brenda said, causing Noah to blush again.

"I'll get the door this time" Noah said, looking for an escape. "Hi Nat" he said, kissing her on the cheek.

"Hi Noah - how are you?"

"Good thanks - Nikolas not with you?"

Nathalie looked at him curiously. "No - should he be?"

"I feel the need to warn you that the sharks smell blood in the water"

"Oh dear" Nathalie laughed "I'm afraid they're going to be disappointed." She took Noah's arm and walked with him to the kitchen. Nearly taking a step back as everyone turned to look at her, Nathalie looked to Patrick for rescue.

"Hey Nat" he said, kissing her cheek. "Where are the kids?"

"Forget the kids" Brenda said "Where's Nik?"

Nathalie blushed furiously. "I assume he's on his way."

"Oh - doing the old arrive separately trick so people don't know what's going on - there is something going on, right?" Lainey asked.

Nathalie looked from Patrick to Robin. "Is there any chance I could get a drink before the inquisition hits its stride?" Robin poured her a glass of wine and passed it to her with a sympathetic look.

"So back to our questions - what's going on with you and Prince Cutie Pie?" Brenda asked.

"Did I just hear my name?"

Everyone turned to look at him. "Nikolas - were your ears burning?" Brenda asked.

"Not at all - you look lovely Brenda" he said, deflecting the subject.

"Oh - well - thanks" she stammered, completely wrong footed.

He gave a quick smiled to Nathalie, noticed by both Robin and Patrick, before walking over to Robin and giving her a kiss on the cheek. "And how is the new mother?"

"I'm great" she smiled. "We get to bring our boy home next week"

"And Robin is trying to find a way to make the week go faster" Patrick teased.

"I want my son home, is that so wrong?"

Nathalie smiled. "Not at all. I remember when I was excited to bring my kids home - of course now I'm trying to sell them on ebay"

"Any takers?" Lainey asked.

"Surprisingly no - it's like people know."

"You have good kids" Patrick said defensively.

"Yes - you can do no wrong in my children's eyes and vice versa - your opinion is not objective."

"They're perfect kids for me." Patrick said proudly.

Noah shook his head. "Oh lord, he is going to fall hard from those clouds when his son causes trouble."

"Bite your tongue - our son will be perfect" Robin laughed. "Shall we eat?"

xxxxxxx

Everyone made their way to the dining room with Patrick and Noah bringing in the food. Brenda sat between Noah and Lainey while Nathalie and Nikolas found themselves sitting side by side.Lainey, Brenda, Robin and Nathalie began to talk in a way that only women do and while Noah engaged Nikolas in conversation, Nathalie slipped her hand onto his leg and stroked his thigh gently. Noah noticed the involuntary smile that crossed Nikolas' face and couldn't help but grin. Patrick sat back and watched the hub of activity around the table. A sense of peace came over him. Ever since his own family blew apart he had been searching for just this - a community to call his own. He had tastes of it through medical school and while working at the hospital but it wasn't a real community. It was a group of people lumped together who shared the same experience. This, around the table was a coming together of people from different backgrounds whose sole reason for being there was their appreciation of the others in the room. The day of Drew's funeral, Robin had asked him if he ever got tired of running, if he had any desire to just stand still and feel. At the time, his answer was a resounding no but in this moment, surrounded by friends and family, by friends who were family he realized that standing still had never felt so good.

He watched as Robin talked animatedly with the girls and couldn't help but smile. She was a wonder to him and he had no idea what he had done to deserve someone as good and loving as her but he had long ago made a promise to himself that he would spend every day proving that he did deserve her. Robin felt his stare and looked over at him. She gave him the smallest of smiles but it was a smile just for him and it sent his heart racing. He lifted his wine glass to her and winked. If anyone had told him a year ago that one woman, a committed relationship would be enough for him, he would have bet his life savings against it. He had never been so happy to be wrong in his life.

After dinner, the guests moved to the living room as Patrick brought out coffee for everyone. Robin positioned herself beside Nikolas and watched her old friend stare, unabashedly, at Nathalie who was deep in conversation with Patrick. "Penny for your thoughts" she offered.

Nikolas pulled himself away and looked at Robin, smiling. "Penny for yours" he countered.

"Uh-uh" she shook her head. "I'm not the one mooning over someone."

He laughed. "Who are you kidding - you moon over Patrick every day and have from the minute you met him."

Robin blushed. "I do - it's sad. What can I say, I am completely and totally in love with the man."

Nikolas took her hand and squeezed it. "That's great Robin - I have watched you for a long time struggle to get to this place and it's good to see you here."

She gave him a wry smile. "It feels like I've gone in a circle."

"How so?"

"I loved Stone so completely that I didn't think I would ever have it to give to another person but everything, every choice, every decision from the moment he died put me on the path to this place and for that I'm grateful."

Nikolas kissed her cheek. "How lucky for them to be loved by you."

Robin grinned. "But back to you"

"What about me?" he asked, innocently.

"Is there something going on with you and Nathalie?"

"We've spent some time together"

"Always the perfect gentleman - discreet to the end" she teased.

Nikolas sighed. "I like her Robin - she's amazing and we're getting to know each other."

"I'm so happy for you Nik - you deserve good things"

"Thanks - so do you"

She looked over at Patrick. "I got them - I got Patrick and Rian." She stood up unsteadily and took her crutches.

"Can I help you?" he asked, standing up with her.

"No" she smiled. "Just off to the kitchen for my meds - I'll be back"

She hobbled out to the kitchen but stopped in the entrance when she saw Lainey and Brenda in conversation. "What's going on here?" she asked accusingly.

Brenda lifted her head sharply. "Nothing - we're just chatting."

"Just chatting? About me, I suppose? Are you telling her all about me talking to Stone - about how you think I'm crazy"

"Robin, I never said that and we weren't talking about you"

Lainey studied Robin's face carefully, seeing the storm clouds roll across it. "Robin - are you okay?"

"Am I okay? Why wouldn't I be okay?" she asked, leaning against the kitchen table. "So I talk out loud sometimes it doesn't mean I'm crazy"

"No one has said you're crazy" Lainey said quitely.

"It's what you all think. I miss Stone and it's perfectly normal for him to be around" she huffed.

Lainey walked towards Robin slowly. "Robin - when you talk out loud - do you see someone - do you see Stone?"

Robin's eyes widened. "This is a set up" she turned to Brenda "You've been feeding her stories - you just can't leave me alone can you." Noah stood in the doorway, watching the scene. "This is NOT your business Brenda - so butt out."

"Everything okay in here?" Noah asked.

"It's fine Noah" Robin's voice softened. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap - I'm just overtired. I'm going back inside" she said, hobbling back to the living room.

Brenda watched as Noah and Lainey exchanged glances. "How much did you see?" Lainey asked him.

"Enough - there's something going on there"

"I agree" Lainey said.

"What do we do?" Brenda asked, worried. "They're bringing Rian home next week and I want her to be okay."

Noah sighed. "I'll speak to Robin and Patrick tomorrow."

"Why tomorrow, why not right now?" Brenda insisted.

Lainey smiled and touched Brenda's arm. "Noah wants to see if Robin will remember this outburst - it will be quite telling if she doesn't."

"She's going to be okay, right?" Brenda asked looking betweent the two doctors

Noah smiled reassuringly. "We're going to look after her Brenda - I promise."


	117. Chapter 117

Chapter 117

Nathalie put her coffee cup down. "I should probably go and make sure Gracie hasn't tied the babysitter to a chair."

"How would she even know to do that?" Robin asked, holding Patrick's hand.

Nathalie rolled her eyes. "Her father and your boyfriend taught her to play cowboys and indians and now she likes to tie people up."

Robin slapped Patrick playfully. "You're a terrible influence."

"And you're still with me" he grinned at her.

"Only because no one else would have you" she teased.

Nathalie stood up. "Ain't that the truth" Walking to Patrick and Robin, she kissed them both on the cheek. "Thanks for a lovely evening - I had a great time."

"Thanks for coming" Robin smiled.

Nikolas stood up. "I'll walk you, Nathalie" he offered, oblivious to the smirks of everyone in the room. He kissed Robin on the cheek. "I can't wait for your son to come home so I can meet him."

"I'd like that" she said, squeezing her old friend's hand. "It was great to see you."

"You too" he smiled.

Nikolas and Nathalie gave everyone a wave before heading out the door. Their departure started everyone else along the same path. Noah offered to give Lainey a ride home and they left together. Before doing so, Noah invited himself for coffee the next morning under the auspices of wanting to fawn over all the pictures of Rian that they had in the house. Brenda was the last to leave and lingered around before Patrick finally took the hint and beat a retreat to the kitchen. As soon as he was gone, Brenda moved beside Robin.

"Are we okay?" she asked.

"Of course - I'm sorry I snapped earlier, I'm just so tired Bren"

Brenda took her hand. "It seemed like more than just snapping Robs - you were really angry. I wasn't talking to Lainey about you."

Robin smiled sheepishly. "I know - I just, sometimes I get a little overwhelmed and I strike out - I'm really sorry."

"Sweets, have you talked to Patrick about this?"

"We've talked a little but it's not that big a deal."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "I am - really Brenda - it'll be fine - we'll get Rian home and settle in and it will be fine."

Brenda kissed her cheek. "If you say so."

"I do - I love you lots."

"Love you too." She stood up. "I'll call you tomorrow?"

"Sure"

"Bye Dr. Hot Pants" Brenda called as she headed to the door.

Patrick laughed as he came back into the room. "You realize your friend is insane, right?" He sat down beside her and pulled her legs into his lap. "Did you have fun?"

Robin played with the hair at the back of his neck. "I did - you?"

He nuzzled her ear. "It was great. Everything okay with you and Brenda?"

Robin pulled back. "Why do you ask?"

"It just seemed weirdly tense, that's all."

"Just girl stuff"

He nuzzled her neck. "Four more days - four more days and we'll be a family in this house."

Robin tilted her head to the side, exposing more of her neck to him. "Nervous?"

"Heck no" he murmurred. "I have duct tape"

Robin giggled. "I love you Patrick Drake."

"And I love you Scorpio" he scooped her up. "Now let's go to bed."

xxxxxxxx

Nikolas reached for Nathalie's hand as they walked along the docks. She felt her stomach flutter as his hand engulfed hers. They approached the landing for the launch. "It's silly to walk me the rest of the way - your ride is right here" she said, trying to drop his hand. Nikolas grabbed it back.

"I want to walk you" he said simply. He turned Nathalie to face him and she had a hard time meeting his eyes. He cupped the side of her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb. Turning her face, she kissed the palm of his hand. Nikolas closed his eyes as he felt her lips on his skin. Opening his eyes, he saw her hazel eyes staring at him, a mixture of lust and apprehension. "Do you have any idea what you do to me?" he said quietly.

"No - what?" her voice was hoarse.

"You make it hard to breathe." Nathalie breathed in sharply and leaning forward, gently pulled his lips to hers. Reaching around her waist, Nikolas pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. He tenderly nipped at her lips before finally breaking the kiss. "Can we sit for a minute?" he asked.

"I was hoping you'd say that" she said.

"Why?" he asked, leading her to bench.

"Because you make my knees turn to jelly" she blushed.

Nikolas sat on the bench and faced Nathalie. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Nathalie reached for his other hand, entwining her fingers with his. "You're beautiful" he said quietly.

She smiled. "You're not so bad yourself."

He ran this thumb along her lips. "I know we haven't been seeing each other for that long but I want you to know that I..um...I'm developing...I..oh" he blew out his cheeks. "I'm not that eloquent but I want you to know that I have real feelings for you." Nathalie opened her mouth to speak but Nikolas put his fingers to her lips. "I understand that you're not there yet and I'm not telling you this to provoke a response from you - I just want you to know how I'm feeling." He bit his lip. "Too much?"

She shook her head and pressed her lips against his. "You are more than eloquent" she smiled shyly. Swallowing hard, she took a deep breath. "I've got feelings for you too Nik - they've taken me completely by surprise but I find myself thinking of you when I go to sleep and when I wake up and I look forward to seeing you and..." she shrugged. "and I'd like to see where this goes - if you do"

Nikolas brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. Letting go of her hand, he cupped her face and crashed his mouth over hers. He coaxed her lips apart and moaned as she sucked greedily on his tongue. Breaking the kiss, breathless, she snuggled into him as his arms closed around her. "I think I like where this is going" Nikolas murmured into the top of her hair.

xxxxxxxx

Noah stood outside Patrick and Robin's house, rubbing his sweaty palms on his jeans. If it were any other patient, he would grab the bull by the horns and just address the situation head on. But this wasn't any other patient. This was Robin - the love of his son's life and the mother of his grandchild. One wrong step, one word out of turn and his recently reconstructed relationship with his son could be blown to bits. Noah knew better than most that second chances were hard to come by and third chances were almost unheard of. He had briefly thought of just dropping the subject completely for the sake of his relationship with Patrick but after talking with Lainey and observing Robin's outburst he knew he had an obligation to do something about it. If he was correct in his assumptions as to what was wrong with Robin, she was a ticking timebomb and needed treatment, sooner rather than later. As he raised his finger to the doorbell, he licked his lips thinking how nice the whiskey would taste going down and how much it would steady his nerves. He knew it wasn't a solution but it was tempting.

Patrick opened the door. "Hey Gramps" he smiled, pulling his t-shirt over his head. "Come on in, Robin's just made muffins - who knew she was such a domestic goddess?"

Noah smiled. "Lucky you. Has she figured out you only know how to cook four things yet?"

"Six - I can cook six things"

"Kraft Dinner doesn't count Patrick"

"You're a funny guy Dad"

"Hi Noah" Robin said brightly.

"Good morning" he said, kissing her cheek before sitting down.

"Banana chocolate chip muffin?" she offered. "They're fresh out of the  
oven."

"If you insist" he smiled, taking a muffin.

"So I'm thinking we should start calling you O.H." Robin teased.

Noah blushed and put up his hands. "Please don't - I don't have the same swagger as my son"

"Anymore" Patrick said. "You don't have the same swagger anymore but I have met more than one nurse who was quite happy to tell me about their date with the legendary Noah Drake."

Noah smirked. "Perhaps they were just trying to get to you Patrick - find out how far the apple fell from the tree."

Patrick stammered and sat down. "Whatever. Last night was nice wasn't it?" he asked, changing the subject.

"It was" Noah replied, watching Robin.

"We definitely need to do it again - once we get used to having Rian home"

Noah took another deep breath. "How are you feeling Robin?"

"I'm fine Noah - doing really well."

"Any headaches? Nausea? Dizzy spells?"

Robin smiled. "No, why?"

"Any visions? Unusual dreams?"

Patrick raised an eyebrow. "I didn't realize this a check up, I thought you were coming for coffee"

Robin narrowed her eyes. "Noah?"

"Robin - do you have any blank spots in your memory from last night?"

"No - why?"

"Dad, what are you getting at?"

Noah continued to wade in. "So you do remember your outburst to Lainey and Brenda?"

Robin laughed lightly. "Noah, I would hardly call it an outburst - we were just disagreeing."

"You were yelling at them Robin - you accused them of setting you up."

"You're mistaken."

Patrick turned to Robin. "Robin? Did something happen?"

Robin felt the walls closing in around her and it was getting harder to breathe. "Nothing happened - it was just a disagreement."

"About what?" Patrick asked

"It was nothing."

"Robin - you don't remember what it was, do you?"

"Sure I do" she said defensively.

"What was it?"

"Why is this so important? I had a disgreement with friends and it was all resolved." She picked up her cup and took a long drink of her coffee.

"Dad - what are you trying to get at? You're upsetting Robin and frankly you're upsetting me a little too."

"Robin - are you hearing voices or having visions? It's not abnormal after an injury like yours for these things to manifest - short temper, insecurities - all go hand in hand. I'd like to run some tests."

"No" she said firmly. "I am done having tests - all I want to do is bring my son home and concentrate on being a mother."

"That will be hard to do if you are struggling with ongoing brain trauma."

Robin laughed. "Noah - you're very sweet to be concerned but I'm fine. Would you like another muffin?"

Noah took a deep breath. "Robin, Brenda says that you talk to Stone."

Robin's eyes went wide. "That bitch!" She slammed her fist on the table shocking both Patrick and Noah. "I told her it was nothing - she had no business saying anything"

Patrick slowly turned his head to Robin, reaching for her hand. "Robin - baby - are you talking to Stone? Is he talking to you?"

Robin sat back in her chair, pulling her hand away. "So I talk to him - it's no big deal - it's normal that after finding out about Lulu that Stone would be present in my mind."

"Robin" Patrick repeated slowly. "Is Stone talking to you?"

She picked up her mug and hurled it across the room. "Stop asking me that!"

Patrick's mouth fell open while Noah got up from his chair and sat beside Robin. He put his fingers on her wrist. "Her pulse is racing" he looked at Patrick.

"I'm fine" she said, struggling to pull away.

"Robin - we need to take you to the hospital for some tests - we need to find out what's going on."

"NO!" she pushed away from the table. "There is nothing wrong with me - just leave me alone." Her entire body tensed, the tendons in her neck were strained.

Noah stood up and put his arms around Robin, holding her tightly. "It's okay Robin" he said quietly. "It's okay - we won't do anything you don't want to do." He continued to hold her until he felt her body relax.

"I'm sorry" she said quietly. "I didn't mean to snap - I'm just tired."

"It's not fatigue Robin -it's your brain and we need to see what's going on."

She looked to Patrick "But Rian's coming home"

He took her hand and held it between both of his. "It's okay Robin - he's still going to come home and we're going to be fine but my dad is right - we need to figure out what's going on."

"Will you go with me?" she asked him, eyes wide.

"Of course I will. I'll be right by your side."


	118. Chapter 118

Chapter 118

"Are we going now?" Robin asked.

Patrick looked to Noah. "I think it would be best." Noah said. "I don't think you're in an urgent situation but I would feel better if we had an idea of what's going on."

She nodded. "I'm sorry about the mug" she said looking over her shoulder. "I don't know why I did that."

Patrick kissed her forehead. "It's okay - don't worry." He stood up and handed the crutches to her. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah - let's go"

Patrick turned to his father. "Did you drive here?"

"I did. I'll go on ahead and book the MRI - I'll meet you guys in Radiology." Noah gave Patrick's shoulder a squeeze and smiled at Robin on his way out.

Patrick turned to Robin. "You didn't tell me" he said softly.

"I didn't think it was a big deal."

"But Robin - we're supposed to tell each other things."

"Are you giving me a hard time?" she asked, struggling to her feet.

"Not at all." He put out an arm out to steady her. "I just want to get to the bottom of this." Picking his wallet up from the table, he shoved it in his back pocket and walked behind Robin to the car. He helped her into the car and they drove in silence to the hospital. Getting a wheelchair, he brought her to radiology.

"Maybe you should go see Rian while I'm having the MRI" she said quietly.

"I'm going to stay with you."

"But he might like to see you"

Patrick heard the nervousness in her voice. He knew she wanted to run for the hills and since she was unable to do that was trying to push him to the side, at least in the short term. "He can wait for a bit. Our son's mother needs me more right now."

Turning to look at him, she smiled. "I'm sorry - I'm just..."

He kissed the side of her cheek. "I know - me too."

Noah greeted them and Robin went with the nurse to get changed into the hospital gown. Noah turned to his son. "You okay?"

Patrick rubbed his face. "I'm a little dumbstruck at the moment - how did I not notice any of this?"

Noah sighed. "Son - you have been running on fumes for weeks - taking care of Robin, Rian, Lulu - trying to make sure everything was okay for everybody, there's just no way that you would have noticed."

"But Brenda did"

"Brenda heard her speaking to Stone."

"Stone?" he shook his head. "I don't understand"

"Let's do the MRI and see what we're dealing with and then we'll figure the rest out."

Patrick nodded and sat beside his father in the control booth as Robin entered the MRI machine. Father and son sat in silence for the first ten minutes as the images appeared on the screen until Noah leaned  
forward. "There it is" he said, pointing to the screen.

"What?" Patrick asked, examining the image on screen.

Noah outlined it with his pen. "Scar tissue on the frontal lobe. My guess is there's more on the temporal lobe"

"Short circuting her moods and emotions"

"Exactly."

"Damn" Patrick hissed. "How soon can we get her into surgery?"

"Easy cowboy" Noah said. "I'd like to try a drug therapy on her first - if we can reduce the scar tissue through drugs we may able to relieve the symptoms."

"But surgery would get rid of it for sure" Patrick protested.

"Patrick - son" Noah put his hand on his arm. "Robin has been through a lot already and I'm just not prepared to perform surgery if drug therapy can do the same job."

"I need her to be better, Dad." He rubbed his face with his hands. "Rian is coming home and I need her."

"All the more reason why we take a slow and steady approach. Why don't you help Robin to my office and I'll meet you both there with Lainey."

"With Lainey - why?"

"Patrick, your girlfriend is talking to her dead boyfriend and I suspect his is talking back to her - the cause is the scar tissue but there's more involved."

Patrick paled. "Okay." He found his legs shaky as he stood up and idly wondered if there would ever come a day when he would return to the hospital and not be afraid of what he'd find.

Robin and Patrick were both sitting on his couch when he returned with Lainey. Robin gave Lainey a small smile as she sat down. "Hey Lainey"

She smiled sympathetically. "Hey Robs - how's it going?"

"You tell me"

Noah leaned back in his chair. "Robin, as you know, you had a traumatic brain injury as result of being hit by the car. I did an emergency craniotomy to relieve swelling and repair the bleeding. Unfortunately, the injury and the resulting surgery has left scar tissue on your frontal and temporal lobes"

"Giving me behaviour, emotional and memory issues."

"Yes" he smiled kindly. "Your outbursts and your inability to remember the content of them are due to the build up of scar tissue."

"Are you recommending surgery?" she asked, reaching for Patrick's hand. He kissed the side of her head.

"Not yet - I'd like to try some drug therapy first - if we can shrink the scar tissue, the behavioural and emotional issues should resolve themselves."

"And if they don't?"

"One treatment at a time Robin."

"So, no offense - why is Lainey here?" Robin asked, looking at her friend.

Lainey leaned forward. "Robin - have you been seeing Stone - has he been talking to you?"

Robin looked to Patrick who gave her an encouraging smile. "Yeah" she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

"For how long?" Lainey asked.

Robin chewed on her lip. "Since the accident - not all the time - he just seems to appear."

"And does he ask you if you're happy, if this is what you want?" Lainey inquired.

Robin's eyes filled with tears. "Yes - how do you know?"

"Robin, it's not uncommon, when the frontal lobe is already compromised, for fears and worries to manifest themselves through visions or voices. My guess is Stone is your particular manifestation because of where you are in your life right now ..."

"Living the life I was supposed to have with Stone?"

Noah watched his son carefully. If he was hurt by the mentions of  
Robin's other great love, he was hiding it well.

"Yes" Lainey said.

"So will the drug therapy stop the visions?" Patrick asked.

Lainey nodded. "They should - but Robin it's going to be very important for you to stick to the meds..."

Robin raised her hand. "I know how to take meds" Realizing the sharpness in her tone, she covered her face with her hands. "I'm sorry."

Patrick rubbed her shoulder. "It's okay Robin - it's going to get better."  
Robin inhaled deeply and looked at Noah. "Next steps?"

"We'll start you on the meds today and that way you'll have a few days built up in your system before Rian comes home."

Robin looked up at him horrified. "You don't think I would hurt him do you?"

Noah smiled kindly. "Not at all. I just think it will be easier for you to cope with the meds in your system."

"And" Lainey added. "My door is always open if you want to engage in talk therapy."

"Thanks" she smiled, slightly embarassed.

"Tell you what" Noah said. "If you could put up with me for dinner, I'll drop the meds off to the house."

"We'd love to have you for dinner" Patrick said. He turned to Robin "Do you have any more questions."

Robin wrapped her ponytail around her fingers. "No - I'm good - let's go see Rian." She looked at Noah and Lainey. "Thank you both"

"Any time sweetheart" Noah said.

Robin got up with her crutches and slowly made her way out of his office. Patrick winked at his father and mouthed 'thank you' to both him and Lainey. He headed out of the office and found Robin leaning up against the wall, tears streaming down her face. He rushed to her. "Hey, hey" he tilted her chin upwards. "What's with the tears?"

"I just want to be normal - I want this all to stop. If I had never gone out on a date with Bruce - if I had never broken up with you in Greece - if I had just been willing to put up with no strings - none of this would have ever happened."

Patrick kissed her tears, before wrapping his arms around her. "Shhh" he soothed. "Robin, you can't do the what if game. If you hadn't kicked me to the curb in Greece, I would never have realized what I lost when I lost you. This isn't your fault -and Bruce is locked up in an asylum - this is just how things are and we will get through it - together."

"But I want to be normal" she cried softly.

Patrick looked at her at smirked. "First time for everything, I suppose" he teased.  
"You're an ass" she laughed through her tears.

"You love my ass"

"Almost as much as you love mine."

"Ready to go see our son?"

"Please"

They walked in silence to the NICU. Patrick couldn't shake the words from his head. "Living the life I was supposed to have with Stone" Never having been in love before, Robin was his first and his only. It had never occurred to him that he might just be a poor substitute for the great love she had already experienced. That if given the choice, she would prefer to be living her life with Stone and not him. He shook his head slightly. It was ridiculous to be jealous or insecure of a dead man. It was ridiculous but somehow that didn't change how he was feeling.

xxxxxxx

Nikolas took Nathalie's hand as they walked along the pathway. He carried a picnic basket in his other hand and smiled as Nathalie kept sneaking looks at him. "Do I have something on my face?" he asked.

Nathalie blushed, knowing she had been caught. "Um, no - I just like looking at you." Her forwardness causing her to blush harder.

He squeezed her hand. "You're adorable when you blush."

"I'm not sure women of my age should still be blushing"

"Women your age can do whatever you wish." He stopped walking "I think this is the spot."

Nathalie helped him spread out the blanket. "You know - with all this land and the bluffs overlooking the water - you have no reason to leave Wyndermere."

"It does come with a lot of natural beauty - it reminds me a bit of where I grew up in Greece. Except instead of the Port Charles River, I had the Mediterranean."

"Sounds rough" she teased as she sat down on the blanket.

"It had its moments" he poured her a glass of wine and passed it to her.

"I think my daughter is quite taken with your sister" she said, helping Nikolas unpack the basket.

"I think it goes both ways - Lulu likes Gracie quite a bit." He opened the containers of brie and grapes along with the pate and baguette.

"A fall picnic is nice idea" she said.

"I've been known to have a good idea or two in my time - asking you out definitely ranks up there."

"Is there a special Prince handbook that tells you all the right things to say?" she asked teasingly.

Nikolas' face fell. "Oh - do I come off insincere?" concern was laced through his voice.

Nathalie reached out and stroked his face. "Not at all - it's just...you sweep off my feet."

He passed her a baguette with cheese and placed it in her mouth. "You deserve to be swept off your feet."

Nathalie stared at him. "A girl could get used to this." She stretched out on her side, propping herself up on her elbow.

Nikolas mirrored her position. "If you moved to Port Charles, I could sweep you off your feet on a regular basis."

"Trust me when I tell you, I am seriously consider making the move permanent."

He moved towards her so that they were laying side by side, facing each other. He ran his hand down her side letting it rest on her waist. "That would make me very happy" he said hoarsely.

Nathalie eased herself closer to him. "I'd like to make you happy" she said thickly.

Nikolas read the intent in her eyes. "Nathalie - we don't have to - I'm okay taking things slowly."

She cupped his cheek with her hand. "You have been so understanding and so kind"

"You're worth the wait Nathalie - whether it's a month or six months - I just...I can wait."

Leaning in, she lightly kissed his lips. "That might possibly be the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me."

Lifting his hand, he freed her hair from its ponytail and let it tumble around her shoulders. "Nathalie" he said softly. He ran his hand through her hair before crashing his lips onto hers. She snaked her arm around his waist, closing the distance between them. Nikolas rolled onto his back taking her with him. Arching her body into his, she dropped a trail of kisses down the side of his neck, sucking on the skin at the hollow of his neck. He threw his head back, fisting his hands in her hair. With slightly shaking hands, she undid the buttons on his shirt. Nikolas closed his hands around hers. "Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes dark with desire.

Keeping her head down, she looked at him from underneath her eyelashes. "Just a little nervous" she said shyly.

He ran a hand down her back. "Nothing to be nervous about – we can take this as slowly as you want" he rand his thumb along her bottom lip. Her tongue darted out and pulled his thumb into her mouth, sucking gently on it. Nikolas gave her a sly smile and pushed his hips up into her. With steadier hands, she returned to his buttons, kissing his skin where each button had been. Having worked her way down to his belt, Nathalie pulled his shirt out from his pants, leaving his chest completely exposed. She dropped a kiss on his evident arousal, eliciting a soft moan from him. Working her way back up his body, she dragged her tongue along his chest, her hands roaming. Nikolas hissed as she closed her mouth around his nipple, lapping at it with her tongue.

Wrapping his arms around on her, he rolled her onto her back and sat up on his knees. Removing his shirt, he tossed it to the side before lowering himself on top of her. Hovering over her for a moment, he smiled seductively before closing his mouth over hers. He coaxed her lips apart and slipped his tongue inside. She ran her hands through his hair, reveling in the feel of his weight on her. Nikolas ran his hand over her breasts, kneading them through her sweater. Playing with the hem of her sweater, he slid his hand underneath and palmed her breast. He pushed her bra down, taking hold of her breast.

"Oh god, Nikolas" she groaned as he pinched her nipple. Lifting her arms overhead, Nikolas pulled off her t-shirt adding it to his on the side. Reaching underneath her, he unclasped her bra and tossed it. She shivered as the cold air hit her body, her nipples puckering and hardening. Running his tongue in a circle around her nipple, Nathalie raised her body, urging him to take it in his mouth. He teased her for a while longer before giving in to her unspoken request. She closed her eyes and gently pushed his head further down on her breast, lost in the sensation. He let go and gave her other breast the same attention while his hands fumbled with the waistband of her skirt. Finally managing to push it over her hips, he cupped her sex and lifted his head when he felt how damp she was.

"Oh Nat" he said hoarsely. He slid his hand underneath her black lace panties and traced her outline with his fingers. She spread her legs, giving him greater access. Nikolas continued to kiss his way down her body, stopping long enough to pull them over her hips and slip them off her legs. Though lying naked on the bluff, Nathalie felt warm from Nikolas' attention rather than exposed. He stopped and stared at her.

"What?" she asked.

He shook his head. "You are more perfect than I had imagined"

Nathalie fought back the tears that had suddenly appeared. After Andrew's death she never thought she would feel loved again and yet it was happening when she least expected it to. Nikolas lowered his head to her hot centre and began to work his tongue on her. "Jesus" she hissed as he circled her clit with his tongue. He slipped first one finger, then a second inside her moving them around in time with his tongue. "Oh god" she whispered as her breathing became laboured and her eyes grew heavy. He felt her tighten around him and continued the pressure, flattening his tongue against her sex. Her body began to tremble and shake, tensing until she shuddered with relief, her climax cresting. As her body twitched with aftershocks, Nikolas pulled himself up beside her, kissing her forehead and her cheeks. Nathalie lay panting, overcome by the intensity of her orgasm.

"Wow" was all she could muster when she found her voice.

Nikolas smiled. "You could say that."

She reached her hand out, running it over his waist and down the side before bringing it to rest on the bulge in his pants. "I don't think we're done."

Nikolas stroked her face. "But, uh, I didn't…I don't have anything with me" he said quietly.

Nathalie grinned. "I do."

His eyes widened in surprise. "You hussy" he teased.

"It's called being prepared. I was a girl scout once." She reached for her skirt and pulled out her change purse from the pocket. Reaching inside, she pulled out a small packet.

"You only have one?" he said.

"I didn't want to jinx it" she smiled. "But I know how to get more if we need them later"

Nikolas brought his mouth to hers. "No ifs about it – we'll need more."

Nathalie pushed him on his back and covered him again with kisses as she undid his belt. Feeling a sense of urgency, she quickly undid his button and zipper, pulling his pants down his legs and tossing them to the growing pile of clothes. He groaned as his erection finally sprung free. Lowering her head, she kissed him through his boxer-briefs, letting her tongue trace his outline. She slowly peeled his underwear off and greedily set her tongue tracing circles along the tip.

"Fuck" Nikolas whispered. Nathalie smiled as she flattened her tongue, running it along the underside before finally closing her mouth around him. Nikolas began to pant and slowly pulled her off of him. "I'm never going to last" he said breathlessly. He handed her the condom she left on the blanket. Tearing it open, she rolled it down his shaft. He pulled her up to him and rolled her onto her back. She flung her legs over his shoulders and gasped as he entered her. Leaning forward, his arms on either side of her head, his kissed her hungrily as he thrust. All pretense of slow and gentle long gone, he felt her tighten around him, milking him. His stomach coiled and tensed and unable to hold off any longer he came hard against her. Nathalie followed shortly after, his name tearing from her lips.

She slid her legs from his shoulders as he collapsed against her, breathless. He lay on top of her trying to regain his focus. When his heart rate finally returned to normal, he rolled off her and reaching into the picnic basket, pulled out a second blanket. He pulled her to him and dropped the blanket over them both. Their bodies were slick with sweat and beginning to chill in the cool fall air. She snuggled up against his chest, enjoying the feel of his smooth skin against her.  
He kissed the top of her head. "Are you okay – do you feel all right?"

Nathalie lifted her head and smiled lazily at him. She snuggled even closer. "I'm more than all right."

He kissed the top of her head again before they both drifted off under the sun.

xxxxxxx

Max showed Anna into Sonny's main room. "Anna Devane to see you Mr. C."

"Thanks Max." He smiled at Anna "So we have a plan?"

She smiled back. "It's not an elaborate one."

"Tell me and I'll oversee it personally."

"We need to rescue Bruce Harris. I saw Robert the other day and he is wired tighter than a drum – I'm afraid he's going to snap at any moment and Sonny, if he does, it's bad new all around."

Sonny nodded. "We have the farm house under surveillance and provided Robert isn't there now – I'll head out and give the order to take Harris."

"I don't want him hurt – not more than he already is. Do you have a place?"

"We have a safe house we can bring him too and I have a doctor on call who can have a look at him."

"We have to keep him alive Sonny – the consequences if he dies are more than I care to think about."

Sonny extended his hand. "I'll call you when it's over"

"Thank you – be careful Sonny – there are enough casualties already thanks to Harris."


	119. Chapter 119

Chapter 119

"Are you awake?" Robin poked Patrick.

"It's hard to sleep when you keep poking me" he grumbled.

"But Rian's coming home today" she said excitedly.

"Are you this insufferable on Christmas morning?" he rolled onto his side, facing her as his eyes struggled open.

"Worse, actually" she teased.

"Goody, there is so much to look forward to"

Robin took his hand and interlaced her fingers with his. "There is so much to look forward to" she said seriously. "Our baby is coming home."

Patrick brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. Smiling at her, he was relieved that she was so excited. It had been four days since Noah diagnosed her with scar tissue on her frontal and temporal lobes. She had accepted the diagnosis in her stride and started on her meds immediately. Patrick watched her like a hawk for any signs of deterioration, an act that caused quite a bit of tension at first but by the second day her moods seemed to be steadier, going longer periods without any eruptions of anger. He let go of her hand and stroked her face with the back of his fingers. "We're going to be a family" he said quiet.

"I can't wait" she said moving closer towards him.

"Are you sure?" he asked, not quite meeting her eyes.

"Am I sure what?" she asked, her eyes bright with excitement.

"Are you sure you want to be a family?" his voice was quiet.

Robin pushed herself higher up on her elbow. "Patrick, what are you asking me?"

He inhaled deeply. "Well, it occurs to me that we've never really talked about if we want to be a family - we've talked about being parents and being in love but we haven't ever really said that we wanted to build this life together. We can be parents without being together - we can be great parents."

Robin searched his eyes and in a flash, she saw it - the 17 year old boy so wounded by the abandonment of his parents that he could never be truly sure that anyone would stay. She saw the 30 year old man who had been devastated by the death of the one person he had counted on the most. And she saw the man so new to love that he didn't know he could trust it. She reached out and ran her thumbs along his brows.

"Patrick" she said softly. He kept his eyes on the mattress. "Patrick" she repeated. He slowly looked up at her, his tongue ran along his bottom lip. "I can't imagine building a life - this life - with anyone else. I love you, I want to raise our child with you, I want to go to bed every night with you and wake up to you. It's your arms that I want around me, it's your heart that I want to hear beating when I put my head on your chest. I'm not entirely sure how we got here, but this - right here - this is where I want to be."

Tears sprang from Patrick's eyes as his breathing shortened. Robin kissed one eye and then the other. Patrick closed his hands around her, bringing her tightly to him. "I love you Patrick - I'm not leaving - I love you" she said reassuringly.

"I love you too" he said softly.

"What are you worried about?" she asked.

"It's all suddenly so real" he said, stroking her hair. "I'm a father and a boyfriend and I need to be good at it."

"You will be" she said firmly.

"I just have to be good at it" he repeated.

Robin pulled herself up to a sitting position. She brought Patrick's head to her chest and stroked his head. He wrapped his arms around her and sighed deeply. "Talk to me" she said. "You can tell me anything Patrick - it doesn't matter what you say - I won't leave."

Patrick opened his mouth to speak but found the words stuck in his throat. He wasn't sure he knew the words, the ones that would describe the complete and utter fear he had felt deep down ever since he had found out she was pregnant. The fear that he couldn't provide the emotional support that she and Rian would need. Patrick had lived a selfish life until he met Robin, rarely investing in anyone emotionally and certainly not to the extent that he had with Robin. There was a part of him, buried deep, that believed he simply was not capable of the love needed to sustain a family. "What if I can't love him enough?" he whispered.

Robin's hand stopped on his head. Her heart ached at his words. Here he was having willed her to wake up, having urged Rian to fight to survive, having done everything he could to keep them together as a family yet he didn't believe he had enough love. Lowering her head, she pressed her lips against him.

"Patrick - you've already shown that you have more than enough love. Love doesn't have limits and you will be a great father to our son."

"Robin, I don't want him to wind up like me - afraid to open his heart - afraid to be left."  
"Are you going somewhere?" she said quietly.

"No"

"Then he won't be afraid. Rian's father is one of the bravest men I know - he took a risk - a leap of faith and that's a great example to give him."

Patrick inhaled sharply and kissed Robin's stomach. "Let's go bring our boy home"

xxxxxx

Jason met Sonny as he got out of the car. "Robert's in the house"

"Fuck - how did that happen Jason? We were supposed to get him out of there before Scorpio came back"

"I know Sonny but as we were getting ready to make a move, Scorpio came through the door."

"Did he see you?"

Jason shook his head. "We got out the back way and reset his alarms before he noticed. What do you want to do?"

"Anna wants it stopped now"

"We can take him"

"Can we do it without killing that asswipe?"

"We can try" Jason said, not completely confident of their chances.

"I promised Anna and I owe this - we owe this to Robin. She needs her father"

"Well, we can..." Jason was interrupted as a gun shot rang out. Pulling his gun from his pants, he, Sonny and their men sprinted for the house.


	120. Chapter 120

Chapter 120

Jason kicked in the door to the farmhouse. Hearing scuffling and screaming, he pried open the door to the basement. Gun drawn, he stepped carefully down the stairs with Sonny and the men behind him. There were blood splatters on the stairs and as he stepped on the last stair he paused. Right before him was an emaciated and whimpering Bruce Harris on his knees. Robert, bleeding profusely from the shoulder, held a gun to Harris' head.

"Beg for your life – I want to hear you beg"

"Please don't" he cried as a mixture of tears and snot ran down his face.

"I want to hear you beg like the dog you are before I put this bullet in your brain"

Jason stepped forward. "Drop the gun Robert" he commanded.

Robert looked up without flinching. "What the hell are you doing here Morgan?"

Sonny stepped around the stairs. "Stopping you from making a mistake."

Robert laughed. "A mistake? Coming from you Corinthos – that's rich. Do you know who this guy is? Do you know what he's done?" Colour was draining from Robert's face as he continued to lose blood.

Sonny took another step towards him. "I do – I know how he's hurt your family but killing him isn't the answer."

Keeping the gun pressed between Bruce's eyes, Robert turned to look at Sonny. "Are you off your looney meds or something? Killing is the answer – it's been the answer for you for a long time."

"That's me – that's not you. If you do this, you will have the blood of an innocent man on your hands. Those stains just never come out."

"Innocent?" he scoffed, pressing the gun harder against Bruce's head, causing him to whimper. "Do you know what he's done? My daughter was humiliated and harassed and nearly died because of him. Her child almost didn't live because of him and Lulu" Robert's voice seized. "Lulu Spencer now has HIV because of him."

"I know your mad Robert – he did some terrible things but you can't do this to Robin…"

"To Robin? I'm doing this for Robin. I made choices, I made sacrifices to protect her and this asshole comes along and in a period of months renders years of my sacrifices useless." Jason kept his gun trained on Robert's other shoulder and took a step closer to Bruce.

"That's not true" Sonny said firmly as he continued to step towards Robert. "Robin is safe now – her son is coming home. If you do this, you will forever change how Robin thinks of you, you will dirty this happy time for her"

"Dirty it for her? This is coming from the Lone Ranger and Tonto? You dirtied up plenty of experiences for her."

"And I'm worse for it" Jason said quietly, his steely blue eyes locked on Robert's.

"Robert, we lost a lot when we lost Robin. You will lose her forever if you do this – she does not want anyone killed in her name – not even this guy."

"But she's my little girl – she's my little luv" tears welled in his eyes. "She needs to be safe."

"She will be" Sonny said confidently "But she needs you more – she needs you in her life not on the run again – she needs you to be a grandfather to her child"

"He says he loves her" Robert spat, motioning to Bruce with his head. "Loves her – after he tried to ruin her."

"I didn't…" Bruce began.

Jason put his foot down on the back of Bruce's. "I think now would be a very good time for you to shut up."

"Robert, man – you are losing all kinds of blood – you need to give me the gun and we will get you to a hospital."

"Right after I end this" he menaced, his finger tightening on the trigger.

"It's not going down like that." Sonny said, now beside Robert. He put his hand on his arm. "I don't want to hurt you any more than you are but I will if it's the only way we can get you out of here and back to Robin."

Robert's normally steady arm began to tremble. The cool ice water that ran through his veins was replaced by something much hotter – love for his daughter. "He has to pay"

"He will – but you can't be the one to extract payment." Sonny positioned himself between Robert and Bruce and took the gun from Robert's hand. "Bruce will be under my care now."

"He has to pay" he slurred, beads of sweat pooled on his forehead. Robert locked eyes with Sonny before finally giving into the mounting blood loss and collapsing on the floor.

Sonny sank to his knees and cradled Robert's head in his lap. "Hang on Robert." He motioned for two of his men. "Get him to the safe house where Anna Devane is. The doctor is on standby – move!" he ordered. The two men picked Robert up and carried him up the stairs and out of the house. Sonny turned his attention to Bruce. "We are going to get you cleaned up – fix your wrist" he pointed to his wrist that was hanging at an odd angle. "And once you're all better, you and I are going to have a little chat about all the ways you'll repay me for saving your miserable life."

Bruce nodded mutely before collapsing in a heap, sobbing. Jason called over the other men who picked him up and carried him to a waiting car.

"Do you think he would have done it? Thinking it made things right for Robin?" Jason asked Sonny as they climbed the stairs.

Sonny nodded. "And it would have cost him his soul."

xxxxx

"Hi guys!" Robin beamed as she opened the door to Brenda, Nathalie and Lulu.

Brenda was first through the door. "Ooooh – look at you" she cooed, taking Rian from Robin's arms. "My perfect godson, come give Auntie Brenda some love" she said as she held him to her.

Robin just shook her head as the other girls came through. It had been five days since Rian had come home and Brenda had phoned saying she was organizing a girls' day in complete with cocktails, sappy movies and tabloid magazines. Robin gave Lulu a big hug. "How are you doing Lu?"

She smiled and nodded. "Today's okay – I had breakfast with my dad."

Robin smiled back at her, knowing how important and rare such a thing was. "That's great – is Luke sticking around for a while?"

"He said for as long as I need – he even came to visit me at Wyndermere and used the front door and everything."

Robin laughed. "Proof your father loves you." She led everyone into the sitting room and they all got comfy on the couches. Nathalie got the pitcher of cocktails from the fridge and poured everyone a round.

Lulu looked at her glass. "But I'm not 21" she said.

"Riiight" Brenda teased. "And this will be your first taste of alcohol – drink up Lulu, it will be good for you."

Lulu giggled. "So you're saying you wouldn't believe me if I said I'd never had a drink?"

Robin shook her head. "We know your father – you never had a chance."

"Good point"

Nathalie sat back and watched as Brenda and Robin fussed over Rian. "He's perfect Robin – just perfect."

She beamed. "He's pretty great. I just love the feel of him in my arms – Patrick and I nearly fight over who gets to hold him first"

"Enjoy the feeling – they get too big for your arms pretty quick. Even Oliver is almost too big to carry around now."

"Where are your kids?" Brenda asked.

"They, uh – they're with Spencer and Nikolas" The room fell very quiet as all three women stared at Nathalie. "What?" she asked suddenly uncomfortable.

"So you're kids have a play date with Nikolas' kid" Brenda said, turning to Robin. "What do you make of that?"

Robin giggled. "I think it means that Nikolas and Nathalie's kids like each other."

"Or it means that my brother really, really likes Nathalie" Lulu offered taking a sip of her drink.

"Hello?" Nathalie said, jokingly glaring at Lulu. "I thought we were friends"

She shrugged. "What do you want me to say? My brother is a noisy kisser – or was that you?" Nathalie blushed furiously as Brenda and Robin roared with laughter. Rian let out a cry of disapproval at the sudden increase in noise.

Robin picked him up and held him to her shoulder, rubbing his back. "My poor little guy, did we scare you? We're sorry – we didn't mean to be so loud."

"How is Patrick adjusting?" Nathalie asked.

"Beautifully" Robin said, kissing Rian's face. "Isn't your dad just the best guy?"

Brenda looked at Nathalie. "That's great about Patrick being great but I want to hear more about the noisy kissing"

Nathalie shook her head. "There's nothing to know"

"Sure there is" Lulu said "Like how long to you have to practice to go that long without taking a breath"

Nathalie covered her face with her hands. "I'm seriously going to die of humiliation."

"Is it strange to be kissing someone else?" Robin asked, passing Rian to Lulu. Lulu gently cradled him in her arms, giving him her finger to suckle on.

"It is – I was done when I married Drew – I didn't think I would ever kiss another person, ever go on a date with someone who wasn't my husband."

"Is Drew your great love?" Brenda asked.

Nathalie took a long drink. "It's hard to say" she said thoughtfully. "When someone you love dies, they become frozen in time – your love for them remains pure and strong because it never came to a natural end. You mythologize them, romanticize them. I loved Drew with all of my heart and I miss him a lot" her voice catching "But I don't think I can say he was my great love – I don't know what it means."

"Are you angry at him for dying?" Lulu asked nervously.

Nathalie looked to Robin. "Were you – when your boyfriend died?"

Robin nodded. "Sure – you feel like you've been abandoned, like you've been left and all your plans don't mean a thing."

"But you carried on" Brenda clarified.

"I had no choice but it took me a long time to stop being angry with Stone – there are days I'm not sure that I am."

"I'm not sure I'll ever stop being angry with Drew" Nathalie offered. "I love him but I'm so mad at him."

"Because he left you" Lulu said.

"It's more than that – I could almost get past it if it was just me but he left our kids. Every time I have to sit with Grace and explain that Daddy really, really isn't coming back. The thought of Oliver not knowing who his Daddy is, not having any memories of how much his father loved him – that he robbed him of that – it infuriates me. I believed in my vow – for better or for worse, in sickness and in health and he never gave me a chance to prove that to him. But then I think that I shouldn't be mad – I can only imagine how much pain he was in for him to have taken the decision that he did."

"Pain can make you hopeless" Robin said quietly.

"It can make you do things you wouldn't normally do" Brenda offered.

Nathalie nodded. "I know. I just wish…" she wiped at her eyes. "I just wish…that Drew had had someone with him when he was at his most hopeless – someone to rescue him from that despair."

"I had someone." Robin said quietly. Brenda took Robin's hand.

Lulu looked at her, wide eyed. "You…"

Robin nodded. "It was just after Stone died and I was struggling. HIV felt like a death sentence and I was sure I was going to die a slow and painful death like Stone did. I was terrified – my parents were dead – I was unreachable to those who loved me" she squeezed Brenda's hand "and on a cold night, I stood on the ledge of a bridge and looked down into the water. I was sure that whatever pain I was feeling would be fixed if I could just give myself over to the water."

Lulu stared at Robin. "What happened?"

"Jason" she said simply. "Jason showed up out of nowhere and pulled me off. He helped me get through that minute – that incredibly painful minute and then through the next and before I knew it, it had been 10 minutes and I didn't feel like jumping any more." Tears trickled down Lulu's face. "And however things ended between Jason and I, I'm glad he was there that night because look at what I would have missed" she said, smiling at a sleeping Rian in Lulu's arms.

"And Robin and Jax rescued me" Brenda said quietly. She leaned over and kissed her friend on the cheek. "That's what friends do Lulu – they pull you through and when you can't walk anymore, they carry you."

"I had no idea" she said softly.

"Lulu – this is a journey, not an easy one but it gets easier as you let people in" Robin said, looking intently at her young friend. "Every day is a better day."

"Guess this makes me part of some club"

"It makes you a survivor" Nathalie said. "And that can get you through pretty much anything." The four women all stared at each other recognizing that while each had their own unique experience there was a commonality to them as well and that created an unbreakable bond.

"Okay" Brenda said, breaking the silence "Who's up for a pretty movie – I have Troy or Lord of the Rings"

"Troy" Robin and Lulu said together.

As Brenda got up to put the movie in the dvd player, the doorbell rang. Robin slowly made her way to the door and was surprised to see her mother. "Hey mom – perfect timing – we have cocktails, a sleeping baby and are about to watch a movie that features Brad Pitt and Eric Bana in various states of undress."

"Robin, sweetheart, I need to talk to you about your father."


	121. Chapter 121

Chapter 121

Robin's mouth dropped open. "Is something wrong with daddy?"

"He's fine but I need to talk to you about him." Anna walked through the door and walked with her back to the sitting room. "Hi girls" Anna said.

"We should go" Nathalie said, standing up.

Robin shook her head as she sank to the couch. "No, stay please."  
Anna sat down beside Robin. "Mom - what is going on with Dad?"

Anna swallowed and took Robin's hand. "Honey, your dad took what happened to you very hard - he took it to heart..."

Robin's face dropped. "He left, didn't he - he's gone on an assignment?"

"Not quite." Anna looked at the expectant faces around the room. "Your father loves you very much and was devastated by what happened to you and Rian."

"Mom - you're beginning to scare me" Rian began to fuss and squirm in Lulu's arms. Robin held out her arms and took him, cradling him in her arms and holding him closely to her.

Anna stroked Rian's face, smiling. "Your father took Bruce Harris hostage." Anna waited while everyone processed what she had just said.

"Is he...did daddy kill him?" Robin asked in a small voice.

"No luv, but he...your dad roughed him up."

"Oh" Robin said, giving her little finger to her son.

Both Brenda and Lulu stared open mouth. "Anna" Nathalie spoke up. "Where is Robert now?"

"Recovering" she said, watching her daughter.

"From what?" Robin said, eyes brimming with tears.

"He was shot - there was a struggle and your father was shot but it's in the shoulder and he'll be fine." She rubbed Robin's back.

"What happened to Bruce?" she asked in a small voice.

"He's going to be fine - he's a little roughed up but he's going to be fine."

"So he...so he wasn't in an Italian mental hospital?"

"No" Anna shook her head.

"Should have been" Brenda snorted. "What?" she questioned when Robin looked at her. "Your dad did what any number of us wanted to do - you nearly died because of him Robin - Rian nearly didn't make it and Lulu.." her voice trailed off.

"And Lulu contracted HIV from me - yes thank you Brenda, I'm well aware of Bruce's transgressions - I was actually there" Robin snapped.

"I'm sorry" Brenda sniffed. "I'm sorry that lying at your bedside while you fight for your life and wanting to kill the guy who put you there upsets you."

Nathalie leaned forward in her chair. "You know Robin, I think you and Anna probably need to discuss this without an audience - you'll likely want to visit your dad too - why don't Lulu and I hit the road and we'll do this another day." Robin nodded mutely.

"I suppose you want me to go too" Brenda said quietly.

She shook her head and looked at her best friend with watery eyes. "No - please stay, I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"I'm sorry I got huffy."

Nathalie and Lulu stood up. "I'll call you later" Lulu said to Robin. Leaning forward she placed a soft kiss on Rian's head. "Bye little king."

Robin waved as they left and turned back to her mother. "Where is Dad?"

"At one of Sonny's safe houses."

"Sonny!" she exclaimed. "Sonny's involved - how did that happen?"

Anna took a deep breath before explaining as much of the story as she thought Robin needed to know. She told her that Robert had held him captive and had beat him up. She left out that he had held him for weeks and practically starved him along with torturing psychologically. She told her that she had suspected Robert was up to something and that Sonny had offered to look into it.

Robin's eyes grew wide listening to her mother. "Can I see him - can I see Dad?"

"Not right now. Sonny is taking him to his island to recuperate and take some of the heat off of him."

"Won't Bruce squeal to the police or the media?" Brenda asked.

Anna shook her head. "Sonny is making arrangements with him"

Robin stood up suddenly. "I have to get him his bottle."

"I can do that for you" Brenda offered.

"No - I just...I'll be back in a minute."

Robin limped to the kitchen with Rian in her arms. She leaned against the refrigerator and sighed. Her knees were shaking but she couldn't tell if it was from the exertion or the realization that her father very nearly killed the man who hurt her. There were fathers around the world who had often threatened to seek vengance on any man who hurt their daughters but hers had actually tried. It all seemed too much at once. What would she have done if he had succeeded? Robin didn't know if she was upset because she was happy he tried or upset because he didn't succeed. Reaching into the fridge, she pulled out a bottle of formula and proceeded to warm it up in the microwave. Having tested it she put the nipple of the bottle into Rian's mouth and he proceeded to suck on it greedily. Robin walked slowly back to the sitting room.

"Are you okay luv?" Anna asked with concern.

She nodded sitting back down. "Want to give him his bottle?" she offered.

"Oh..ah" Anna stammered. "I would love to." Robin placed him in her mother's arms and Anna held the bottle to his mouth. "Hello angel - aren't you beautiful."

"Will you tell daddy I love him when you see him?" Robin asked.

"What makes you think I'll be seeing him?"

Robin smiled knowingly. "Mom, I know Sonny and there's no way he would offer to do any of this unless you asked him to and you asked him to do it for me, didn't you?"

"You're too smart by half" Anna smiled.

"And the allure of nursing Dad back to health is too much for you to pass up. What time does your plane leave?"

Anna actually blushed. "In a few hours."

"Then you should get going - will you call me when you get there?"

"Of course I will luv - I'll even have Robert call you so you can speak with him."

"Thanks mom."

Anna passed Rian back to her daughter and stroked her hair. "Are you sure you're okay luv? I know this is a lot to take in."

Robin nodded. "Trust me - growing up with you two working as spies, I adjust to things quite quickly."

"I have to go sweetheart" Anna stood. Robin and Brenda both stood up and walked her to the door. Anna kissed her grandson on the forehead. "Goodbye my angel - I'll see you soon." She leaned in and pressed her lips to Robin's cheek. "You may adjust to things quickly but you roll them around in your brain for a long time, while you're rolling this around remember that your father and I, that we love you very, very much" she whispered.

"I love you both too." Robin said. Anna smiled at her one last time before disappearing out the door.

Brenda turned to face her. "Do you want me to stay? We can talk about this - talk about Bruce?"

Robin shook her head. "I'm actually really tired and I think Rian and I both need to take a nap.

"Are you sure?" Brenda searched her eyes. Once again it felt as if something was off, something was just not right with her friend but seh couldn't put her finger on it. She was tempted to speak with Patrick about it but didn't want to set off alarm bells unnecessarily.

Robin smiled at her reassuringly. "I'm fine - just in need of a nap."

"Okay" Brenda kissed her on the cheek. "I'll call you tomorrow."

She nodded and waved as her friend headed out the door. Once Brenda was gone, Robin locked the door and wearily climbed the stairs to her bedroom. She pulled the covers back and laid Rian down in the middle of the bed. Surrounding him with pillows, she climbed in beside him and took hold of his little hand. She stared in wonder as his tiny chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm. Watching him wrinkle his nose and twitch as he slept she suddenly understood her father's desire to kill in her name - she realized that she would do the same to anyone who hurt her little boy. But that knowledge did little to soothe her unease that was building. Rubbing his stomach, she hummed to him softly.

Patrick leaned against the doorframe and watched - a smile played at the corner of his mouth. "I'm not entirely sure I should be getting turned on right now" he said softly.

Robin looked up in surprise. "I didn't hear you come in."

Patrick kicked off his shoes and walked towards the bed. He pulled his shirt out from his pants and undid the first few buttons before lying down on the other side of Rian. He kissed him on the cheek and took Robin's hand.

"How was your day with Noah?" she asked.

Patrick rolled her fingers around in his. "I have news."

"So do I" she said.

"Do you want to go first?" he asked, trying to contain his smile.

Robin saw the excitement on his face and decided hers could wait. "No - you go ahead."

"I went to see Alan before I picked up my Dad..."

"Alan - are you sick?"

"No - just the opposite. He drew blood last week for my last HIV test and Robin - I'm negative - I don't have HIV"

Robin closed her eyes. "I had forgotten that it had been six months already." Opening her eyes, she wiped at her tears. "I don't...I'm so...god that is just the best news ever."

Leaning over Rian, he pulled at her lips. "Rian is the best news ever - this is the second best news"  
Robin kissed him back. "Rian is pretty spectacular"

Patrick stroked Rian's cheek. "He definitely has your nose and chin"

"You think? Those are your lips - lucky boy. Did you have a lot of hair when you were born?" she asked, gently stroking his thick thatch of black hair.

"I was bald until I was one - you?"

"He gets that from me then."

"What do you make of the brown eyes?" Patrick asked.

Robin traced her fingers over Patrick's eyes. "Yours - for sure."

Patrick closed his hand over hers, kissing her fingers. "Here's hoping he gets my height."

"Hey!" she said in mock indignation. "There is nothing wrong with being short"

"It's cute on you but Rian has no hope of making the NHL if he doesn't get to at least 5'10"

"Making plans already?"

"It's entirely possible when my dad and I were out we looked at skates and hockey sticks but we didn't buy any...yet"

"You're terrible" she teased.

Patrick sighed, propped up on his elbow. "I think this is my new favourite thing to do."

"Really?" Robin said suggestively, arching an eyebrow.

"Okay, second favourite"

Robin reached over and stroked his chest through the open buttons. Patrick closed his eyes and breathed in sharply. "Let me go put him in his crib and we can further explore your favourite thing to do" Robin said as she pulled the pillows away from Rian. She carefully lifted him from the bed and let Patrick help her stand up. He smiled as he watched her leave. Taking off his shirt, he called after her "You still have to tellme your news"

"I will" she said, walking into Rian's room. She placed Rian in his crib, tucking his blanket around him. She placed his doctor bear by his head and kissed his forehead. Standing up, she stopped short. There in the corner stood Stone. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I miss you" he said.

"You're not supposed to be here."

"I don't want to leave you again - do you want me to leave?"


	122. Chapter 122

Chapter 122

"Stone" she repeated quietly.

"Are you okay ?"

She shook her head. "I'm all confused and I'm scared."

"I can help you – I can take care of you."

"Stone..I…" she stood and stared at the apparition in the corner. Her heart leapt every time she saw him because she still missed him but the shiver his appearances caused also told her on some level that something was wrong.

"It's okay Robin" he said. "I love you – I always have."

Robin opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by Patrick calling to her. "Need any help?"

She looked towards the door and when she looked back he was gone. "No – I'll be right there." Leaning over the crib, she kissed Rian again before heading back to her bedroom.

Patrick had his back to the door and was stepping out of his pants. Robin walked up to him and snaked her arms around his waist, dropping a wet kiss on his back. He stood up straight and sighed. "Mmmm." He turned around and dropping his head, seized her lips. He explored her mouth with his tongue and moaned as she dragged her tongue along his lips. She pressed her mouth hotly over his chest. Patrick shivered from the feel of her lips on his skin. Bending down, he picked her up and carried her to the bed. Down to his boxers his growing arousal was already evident. He slipped the straps of her tank top from her shoulder and dropped a kiss on one before dragging his tongue across her collarbone to the other shoulder. "You always taste so good" he said against her skin. He pushed her tank top down, freeing her breasts. Lifting his head, he grinned. "No bra?"

"There's one built into the tank top" she smiled.

"I like it" he said before burying his head between her breasts. She ran her hands down his back as he gently massaged one breast and then the other. He lashed her nipple with his tongue causing her to arch towards him. His hand traveled down her torso and flicked open the button on her jeans. Slowly lowering the zipper, he let his knuckles brush against her sending tiny shockwaves through her. "Did you have fun with the girls?" he asked as he closed his lips around her lobe.

"Mmm-hmmm" she murmured, eyes closed as the feel of him washed over her.

Suddenly letting go of her ear, he propped himself up on his elbow. "You never told me your news" His traced his fingers along her arm.

"It can wait" she whined at the sudden loss of his touch.

"Tell me now" he kissed her shoulder. Patrick noticed that she wouldn't quite meet his eyes. "Robin – what's going on?"

"My mom came over" she said, suddenly shuddering as he pinched her nipple.

"And how is Anna?" He nuzzled her neck.

"Fine – my dad was shot."

Patrick froze where he was. "Shot?" He pulled himself to a sitting position. "How? Is he okay? Is he at GH? Robin – why didn't you tell me as soon as I got in?"

She rolled on to her side and sighed. "There's more – my dad had kidnapped Bruce and was holding him hostage."

Patrick's mouth fell open. "Is he dead?"

"No"

"Pity" he said flatly.

Robin sat up quickly and pulled her tank top back over her shoulders. "You think it's okay to take a life? What is it with you and Brenda – Bruce's life is somehow expendable because he's a jerk? God!"

Patrick eyed Robin carefully. "No Robin, unlike some of the people you've dated in the past, I don't think it's okay to take a life – especially for sport. That being said, this jerk nearly cost me the woman I love and my child. I won't apologize for thinking death is not a bad option for him. It wasn't that he hurt your feelings Robin, though lord knows he did do that well enough – he nearly caused your death – do you get that? My father had to perform surgery on you, I had to resuscitate you and don't even get me started on Lulu…"

Robin slid off the bed. "Right – poor Lulu – poor, poor, Lulu – I didn't ask her to give me mouth to mouth, I didn't ask her to touch me with open wounds on her hands…"

Patrick's mouth dropped open. "Robin" he began.

She looked at him with eyes blazing. "What."

"Robin, why are you so angry?" he felt a cold chill run down his spine.

"I'm angry because everyone seems to think that my father is some fucking hero – he kidnapped and nearly killed a man – that's not heroic."

"Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine" she said, crossing her arms in front of her body.

He got off the bed and walked towards her slowly. "Your anger is way off the map – are you still taking your meds?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course I am."

"You just seem really upset"

"Right and that would have to be about the scar tissue in my brain and not at all about the people in my life thinking it's okay to kill someone I dated – to kill someone who was very nearly that child's father" she said, pointing in the direction of Rian's room. "Yup, it's definitely the scar tissue." Tears began to well in her eyes and her voice caught in her throat.

Patrick walked towards her and wrapped his arms around her. She stood defiantly rigid. "What's wrong?" he said quietly.

"You, my father, Brenda – kill Bruce, kill Bruce – you're fucking blood thirsty" she said against his chest. She kept her arms at her side while he held her tighter.

"What's wrong?" he repeated.

"Nothing"

"Robin"

The wall crumbled down. "He could have died, Patrick – my father could have died and this time there would have been no coming back from it. I just got him back – how could he do this?"

Patrick felt her hot tears against his skin and just held her. "It's okay baby – he's okay"

"But he could have died Patrick and it would have been for nothing. I have you and Rian and my family – who cares about Bruce?" she cried against him, her arms finally wrapping around him. "It would have been for nothing."

Patrick took her by the hand and led her to their bed. Pulling her on top of him, he closed his arms around her and soothed her as she cried, realizing how close she had come to losing the father she had just found again. Patrick rested his chin on her head and stared straight ahead as he rubbed her back. A wave of discomfort rolled over him – something was still not right.

xxxxxx

Grace ran for the door and opened it. "Hi Nikolas" she said brightly.

Nikolas beamed at the young girl. "Hi Grace – how are you?"

"I'm fine. Are you here to see mommy?"

He nodded. "I am – is she in?"

"Are you here because she's crying?"

Nikolas froze. "She's crying?"

Grace nodded solemnly. "And packing." His mouth dropped open slightly.

"Grace Walker, how many times do I have to tell you not to answer the door unless I'm with you? Come away from the door and go back to putting your toys away" Nathalie said firmly.

"Okay" the young girl mumbled as she left Nikolas standing in the doorway.

Nikolas stared at Nathalie. At first glance, everything seemed fine. Her hair was in a perfect ponytail, her make up was flawless and she looked as elegant as always in her khaki shift dress. It wasn't until he looked a little closer that he could see the red rimmed eyes, the heavy concealer covering the dark circles under her eyes and the red splotches on her face. His heart sank. "Nathalie?" he questioned quietly.

She smiled cheerfully. "Hi Nik – this is a surprise. Come in – would you like a coffee?"

Nikolas walked through the doorway and closed it behind him. "No, thank you to the coffee. Are you okay?" He walked down the steps to the living room but was afraid to cross it without invitation.

"I'm fine" she said, forcing her voice to sound lighter than she felt. "I'm just packing" she nodded to the bedroom. Nikolas followed her and stood in the doorway as she folded a sweater. "How's Spencer? And Lulu?"

"Are you going somewhere?"

She nodded. "To DC."

"What…who's looking after the kids?"

Nathalie had difficulty making eye contact with Nikolas. "Noah as graciously offered to watch them."

"When will you be back?"

"I'm just gone overnight so hopefully they'll be well behaved for him. So what's new?" she rambled quickly. "Were you able to resolve that issue with your British subsidiary you were having? How is Lulu?"

Nikolas walked towards her and taking her hand, sat her down on the bed beside him. "What's going on?"

"Nothing – just an overnight trip to DC" her breathing was shallow.

Putting his hand underneath her chin, he tilted her head upwards so that she had no choice but to look at him. "You are twitchy and rambling and breathing like you just ran a marathon. You can tell me anything Nat – what's up?"

She bit her lip willing the tears not to form. Nikolas watched the struggle for control on her face and was moved as she regained ascendancy over her emotions. "I..uh..I just need to go home and take care of a few things."

"Like what?"

"I can't say"

"Can't or don't want to?"

She blew out a shaky breath. "Don't want to."

He rubbed the palm of her hand. "It's about Andrew?" She nodded. "Did something happen?" Nathalie said nothing for a moment. "If it's too private to talk about, I understand" he said "but it's okay to talk about Andrew with me."

She shook her head. "It's too weird."

"Why? Because we've slept together? Nathalie, I know you had a life before we met as did I. I really care for you and if something is bothering you, I'd like to know – if you trust me enough to tell me."

Her eyes filled with tears and Nikolas watched as her cheeks began to form red patches. Her ascendancy over her emotions was short-lived. "It's my wedding anniversary today" she said quietly, hanging her head. "We would have been six years married today." Every nerve ending felt raw and exposed.

"I am so sorry you're hurting" he said, putting an arm around her shoulder. "I really am."

She nodded. "Thanks." Wiping at her tears, she took a deep breath. "I just need to go to DC and visit his grave and be alone with him"

"Of course you do."

She looked down at her left hand. "When I found out that Drew had…when I found out what he had done, I threw my wedding ring the Potomac. I figured if he could throw our life away so easily, why shouldn't I? I miss my ring."

"Ring or no ring, it doesn't change what's in your heart and how you feel about him."

Nathalie shook her head. "You're pretty amazing, you know that?"

Nikolas smiled shyly. "So are you." He kissed her cheek. "Can I help?"

"You just did." Nathalie's head shot up as she heard a knock at the door. "That's probably Noah."

"Mommy! Door!" Grace called.

Nathalie smirked. "Now she learns."

Nikolas stood up. "I'll go let him in on my way out." Nathalie stood up with him. He took both of her hands in his. "Good luck at home. I'll be here when you get back."

Nathalie smiled and pressed her lips against his. "Thank you" she whispered.

Nikolas wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him. "Anytime."

xxxxxx

Noah had just put Grace to bed and settled into the couch to watch the baseball game when there was a knock at the door. Opening the door, he was surprised to see his son on the other side.

"Dad?" Patrick asked. He stepped back to look at the door, checking to see if he hadn't got lost on his way to see Nathalie.

"Nathalie had to go out of town overnight. I offered to watch the kids."

"Oh"

"You okay sport?"

Patrick sighed. "No. Can I hang out with you a bit?"

"Of course" Noah stepped out of the way and let his son through. "I think she has beer in the mini bar – do you want a beer?"

Patrick nodded and set out to get one. "Where did she go?"

"Home" Noah said carefully. He had come to know Nathalie somewhat over the past months and one thing he knew for certain was that she guarded her feelings very closely. If she had wanted Patrick to know she was upset or why she was going home, she would have told him.

"Why did she go home?" he asked, twisting off the cap.

"Just had some stuff to do, I guess."

Patrick gave his father a strange look. "I see." He took a sip of his beer and realization dawned. "Oh shit – it's her anniversary." Noah nodded. "She didn't say – why didn't she say?"

He shrugged. "She may have figured that you had enough going on. Speaking of which – why do you look like you haven't slept in three days?"

Patrick sank to the couch beside his father. "Because I haven't."

"Rian keeping you up?"

"No."

Noah sighed. "We can play 20 questions or you can spit it out – I'm fine with either."

Patrick took a long sip of his beer. "I don't think Robin's meds are working, I'm afraid she's deteriorating and it's entirely possible I'm jealous of her dead boyfriend."


	123. Chapter 123

Chapter 123

Noah gave his son a small smile. "That's quite a list of things keeping you up - anything in particular you want to address?" he asked, turning down the volume on the television.

Patrick shrugged and took another drink of his beer. "Tell me I'm crazy for being jealous of a teenager that died a decade ago."

"You're crazy for being jealous of a teenager that died a decade ago."

"Thanks" he said sardonically.

"But that's not actually what you're jealous of."

Patrick raised his eyebrow. Father/son talks had been rare over the last 10 years and there remained a certain element of discomfort to them but when all was said and done, no one knew Patrick or understood where he came from better than his father. "Oh really?"

Noah turned on the couch to face Patrick more fully. He offered up a silent wish that in this moment he could be the father that Patrick needed him to be. "You're not jealous of Stone - you're jealous of what he means to Robin, of the history and the hold he has in her life." Patrick exhaled. "You feel like you're constantly being compared to him - do you love her the way he did - do you love her better - does she love you more." Patrick sheepishly nodded his head. "Sport, you understand there are no answers to that - you will never love her like Stone did because you aren't him. You will love her in your way."

"What if that's not what she wants?"

Noah gave him a half smile. "If it's not what she wants then there's nothing you can do about it but Patrick, she loves you, she's making a life with you - you are who she wants."

"I suppose - but there are moments, when everyone talks about Stone in hushed and revered tones, when I feel like she's with me by default, that if she had a choice she would be with him."

Noah's face softened. "I regret that my choices have made it almost impossible for you to recognize love, for you to trust that it won't be snatched away from you. But Patrick, you have never been a 'what if' boy - you can't spend your time worrying about her past relationships any more than she can worry that with all your past conquests you may chuck it all in to go on the prowl again."

"But she was seeing him - she had conversations with him Dad - with her dead boyfriend." He swirled his beer around in his bottle.

He put his hand on his son's arm. "That's not about missing his love - her brain was short circuiting, her emotional and behavioural responses were altered - you know this."

"Why did it have to be him?" he whined slightly.

Noah ran his hands through his hair thoughtfully. "If it were you - if you had the same injury with all the mitigating factors and you were having visions - who do you think would appear to you?"

He shrugged. "Elvis?"

"Our dog?" Noah asked incredulously. "Want to give that another try?"

Patrick knew the answer. Though Robin was the first romantic love of his life, she was not the first person he had ever loved. "Mom" he said quietly.

Noah nodded. "Likely - it's about safety, it's about recognition."

"It's still crazy that I'm jealous - I guess I want them to talk about me in revered and hushed tones."

"Maybe they do" Noah offered.

"I doubt it. I think they don't completely trust me."

"Does Robin trust you completely?" he asked quietly.

He nodded and took a long sip of his beer. "I think so"

"Think so?"

"She does" he corrected.

"Then Patrick" Noah exhaled "screw the rest of them - it just doesn't matter what they think."

Patrick laughed. "Spoken like a true father."

Noah grinned. "Your turn will come." Getting up, he walked to the mini-bar and pulled out a Perrier. Twisting off the top, he dropped in the garbage before looking back at Patrick. "Tell me why you think the meds aren't working."

Patrick sank against the bag of the couch. "She snapped, I mean really snapped today. She said things very out of character and when I asked her about it, it only enraged her more."

"What were you discussing when she went off?" Noah walked back to the couch and sat down.

Patrick told him about Robert's kidnapping of Bruce and his gun shot wound. Noah flinched when he told him about her reaction to wishing Bruce was dead. "When I called her on it" he shook her head. "She was so angry Dad - her entire body shook with rage and then she dissolved into tears."

"The case could be made that she was having a normal reaction to a traumatic event."

"But given her recent history, I would tend to think that it relates back to the scar tissue. I'm just afraid if I suggest more tests, she'll fly off the handle again."

Noah shook his head. "You can't suggest more tests."

"What do you mean?"

Noah tucked a leg up underneath him. "Patrick, tests are ordered by the patient's doctor - you are not this patient's doctor, you are her boyfriend."

"But..."

Noah raised his hands. "Patrick - you both can discuss the situation but you are not in a position to make recommendations about treatment - you just aren't. Once you blur that line between doctor and lover, there's no coming back from it. She doesn't need you to be her doctor - she needs you to love and support her."

"You treated mom all the time" he said in a small voice.  
"And look at how well that turned out. Here's what I want you to do - observe her for a few more days - if you think there is a pattern building, then I'll call her in for an appointment."

Patrick was silent for several minutes before sighing deeply. "I've never had a partner before - and I don't mean just romantically - someone who gets me on all levels - someone who's my equal."

"And you like it."

"And I like it." He repeated.

xxxxxxxx

Nikolas looked up from the desk in his study and was shocked by the sight before him. "You...you cut your hair" he smiled.

Nathalie pulled at her now chin length hair. "I needed a fresh start."

He looked at her cautiously. "How was DC?"

"It was okay" she said quickly.

He came from around his desk and leaned on it. "Really?"

She shook her head. "No - it was hard" She breathed in deeply to steady herself. "It was harder than I thought it was going to be."

He opened his arms and Nathalie paused for just a beat before going into them. He closed her arms around her and kissed her neck, breathing in her heady scent. "I'm sorry" he whispered.

She nodded against him. "I made a few decisions" she said.  
Nikolas stroked her significantly shorter hair. "I can see that."

She pulled back slightly to look at him. Stroking his cheek she smiled "That was just the first of a couple of decisons I made."

"Tell me" he ran his hands down her back.

"I don't want you to think this is because of you ..I mean I don't want to pressure you...I mean .. there are a lot of reasons for my decisions."

Nikolas smirked. "You're cute when you ramble. Just take a deep breath and tell me"

Her cheeks flushed crimson. "I've quit my job in Washington - they've given me a substantial package and I've put my house up for rent and I'm moving the kids and I here - to Port Charles."

He beamed in spite of himself. "Thank you" he said leaning in to kiss her.

She made a face while he nipped at her lips. "What exactly are you thanking me for?"

"The cost savings in jet fuel."

Furrowing her brow, she bit her lip. "I'm not following."

"I would have been" he smiled. "Nathalie, I don't know exactly what it is that I'm feeling for you but it's pretty strong and if you were going to move home, I was simply going to have to fly to Washington every couple of days to see you."

She looked at him disbelievingly. "Seriously?"

He nodded, running his fingers down her arms. "I just...I like you - a lot. You make me happy and if you ask around, I haven't actually been happy in quite some time."

She leaned in and tenderly kissed his lips, searching out his tongue with hers. Nikolas pulled her tighter to him. "I like you too" she smiled against his lips. "A lot."

xxxxxxxx

Patrick had tried to watch Robin unobtrusively for any signs of deterioration in the week since he had spoken with Noah. There had been no further flare ups, no sudden outbursts and he was beginning to relax. They had taken Rian to the park and Robin had held them while Patrick pushed them both on the swings. They had even given Rian his first taste of Kelly's. Mike, Georgie and Dillon had all fussed over him and Robin and Patrick actually enjoyed a quiet cup of coffee as Rian was passed from friend to friend. They were finally beginning to feel like a family.

Patrick has started to run again as way to help with his stress. Robin's pregnancy and subsequent accident had occupied all of his time that he had let many things slide. Though his lungs burned and his muscles ached with each step that pounded the pavement, he felt his head clear.

_You will love her in your way_

Noah's words echoed in his head and spurred him on. His father was right - he and Robin needed to write their own history, free of both of their pasts. They were on their way and he just needed to trust in himself and in his love for Robin. Panting and craving water, he slipped his key in the door. Coming in, he could hear Rian screeching up in his crib.

"Hey guys, I'm home" he called.

"Stop crying" he heard Robin say. "Rian - stop crying - I don't know what you want."

Patrick paused with a foot on the stair and his hand on the railing. "Hey Robin - everything okay?"

"For the love of god, I can't take it anymore - STOP YOUR FUCKING CRYING!" she yelled.

Patrick flew up the stairs.


	124. Chapter 124

Chapter 124

Patrick stopped at the doorway to Rian's room. Robin was leaning against the change table staring at Rian in his crib. "I don't know what you want - Stop.Crying."

Watching her face, Patrick walked in and picked him up from his crib. He held him against his shoulder, rubbing his back. "It's okay little man - don't cry baby."

Robin glared at him. "You can't pick him up every time he cries or it will never end."

Patrick looked at her incredulously. "And you can't yell at him when he's crying. He can't tell you what he wants Robin - he is 10 weeks old."

"Suddenly you're a parenting expert?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Where is he? Is Stone here?"

She scoffed. "Are you serious - no Stone isn't here."

Rian stopped crying and settled in against his father's shoulder. Patrick rubbed his back and cooed quietly to him. Placing him back in the crib, he took Robin by the arm and led her from the room. "Hey!" she protested. Patrick closed the door to Rian's room without letting go of Robin's arm and then led her to their bedroom. "Are you done being a caveman?" she asked shaking free.

"Change your clothes and I'll call Brenda."

"What? Why?"

"We're going to the hospital. Things are getting worse and you need to be checked out."

"No."

"Robin - you were just yelling at a 10 week old baby - so either the injury to your brain is getting worse or you're suffering from post-partum - either way you are getting checked out and it's happening today."

She crossed her arms and stared at him defiantly. "Who died and you made you the boss of me?"

Patrick shook his head. It was like talking to a stranger - she looked like Robin and she sounded like Robin but nothing, not a single word coming from her mouth was Robin-like. "You and I are partners - we are raising a child together and if something is wrong with you, then I have an obligation to you, me and our baby to get you well. You know you would do the same for me."

"So I don't get a vote?"

"Not while you're being irrational."

"Irrational? You're a jackass."

"Call me all the names you want but we are still going to the hospital. Right after I call Brenda, I'm calling my father and having him meet us there."

"God you are bossy" she grumbled, changing from her sweats into jeans and a sweater.

"It's because I love you" he said quietly picking up the phone.

His words stopped Robin in her tracks. Her bottom lip began to quiver and tremble. "I'm sorry - oh god, Patrick -what did I do?"

Putting down the phone, he crossed the room and took her in his arms. "I know Robin - I know this isn't you - this is why we have to get it checked out."

"I'm sorry I'm so rude."

He laughed lightly as he kissed the top of her head. "I kind of like you rude - you're all fiery." Robin pressed herself further against him. "I don't care that you get angry Robin - but I do care if you're unwell - we can fix this - we can fix this and then we'll be back on track - okay?" She nodded against his chest.

"Let me change my shoes and then I'm ready to go."

Patrick let her go while he called Brenda. Giving her a brief run down on the situation she agreed to be there within 10 minutes. His next phone call was to his father. It was short and to the point. "It's Robin" he said.

"I'll meet you in Radiology" was all Noah said before hanging up.

Patrick changed from his running clothes, pulling on a pair of jeans and a long sleeve white t-shirt. He pulled a green t-shirt over tip and splashed some water on his face. Walking downstairs, he found Robin sitting at the kitchen table, staring out the window. "Ready to go?"  
She nodded. "I swore at him - I don't even really swear and I swore at our baby."

Patrick held out his hand. "It's okay Robin - I think we are going to find plenty of ways to scar him for life - we just got a jump start on it."

She smirked as she took his hand. "He's already seen you in a sweatervest - the scarring began way before today."

"And the jokes about my clothes just don't ever stop."

He opened the car door for her and made sure she was buckled up before closing it. He slid in behind the wheel and tried to stay calm as he drove them to the hospital. His stomach was in knots and his chest ached. For the first time in his life, he was afraid of the hospital. The place that had felt like home for so long now seemed big, scary with surprises around every corner. It must be what trips to the hospital were like for everyone else. His knowledge and his training weren't a help here, if anything they only made the situation worse. He knew what the next course of treatment was, he knew the risks associated and though the surgeon in him was confident of the results, the man in him, the man who loved her was just plain scared.

They walked hand in hand to radiology where Noah had reserved the MRI machine. He gave Robin a quick kiss on the cheek. "Let's get some pictures" he said quietly. She nodded and headed towards the change room. Patrick pulled her back and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. She smiled before dropping his hand and going to get changed.

Patrick joined his father in the control room. "I thought you said it was stable lately" Noah said.

"It was - until today - she was yelling at Rian."

Noah put his hand on Patrick's shoulder. "We're going to take care of her son - I promise."

Patrick looked down at his hand, opening and closing them in a desperate attempt to release some tension. "Dad - if - um...if she needs surgery, I want you to do it."

Noah looked up sharply. "Patrick - you don't - I won't be insulted if you want someone else."

He shook his head. "I want the best and that's you."

Robin got into the tray and was moved back into the tunnel. Both men waited anxiously for the pictures to appear on screen. This time it was Patrick who saw it first. "The scar tissue is bigger"

Noah nodded. "The meds aren't working."

"How soon can you operate?"

"Is tomorrow soon enough for you?"

Robin lay in the confining tunnel of the MRI machine and anger flashed through her body. She didn't want to be here. She hated being a patient and being handled and it needed to stop. All she wanted was to go home and be with her son.

"It's okay Robin" She heard Stone's voice clearly. "You don't have to do this. You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

The MRI over, Robin got changed and met Patrick and Noah in Noah's office.

"So what's the verdict?" she asked, trying to be light. "Does it show if I have a brain or not?"

Noah smiled. "Sweetheart, I'm sorry - the scar tissue is worse, the meds aren't working. We need to do the surgery. Now it's arthoscopy so it's minimally invasive but I'm confident that I can get it all and we'll have you back to feeling like your old self in no time. I've booked an OR for tomorrow afternoon. You can sleep at home tonight - hang out with Patrick and my grandson and then we'll admit you in the morning."

"No" she said simply.

"No?" Patrick repeated in surprise. "Is there something going on tomorrow."

She shook her head. "I'm not having surgery tomorrow. I'm not having surgery at all."


	125. Chapter 125

Chapter 125

Patrick looked at Robin in shock. "What do you mean you're not having surgery?"

"I don't want it" she said simply.

"You have to have it" Patrick countered.

Robin narrowed her eyes. "I don't have to do anything - and certainly not brain surgery."

"You're being completely unreasonable..."

"And so are you"

"I'm being unreasonable because I want you to be healthy? That's twisted."

Noah watched the back and forth and decided to step in before it got out of hand. "Robin - sweetheart - the meds are simply not working - there is no other way but surgery."

"I don't think you've given the meds long enough to work" she said quietly.

"It's been three weeks and you are worse, not better" Patrick said hotly.

"You mean it's been three weeks and I'm not perfect because that's what you want, right? The perfect girlfriend."

"If that's what I wanted then I would never have picked you" he sniffed.

"You're not so perfect yourself"

"Never said I was"

Unable to take anymore, Noah stood up. "That is enough" he said firmly. He turned to his son and saw how his face was twisted with worry and concern. As badly as he felt for him in this moment, Patrick wasn't helping the situation. "Patrick, go take a walk and get a coffee. Robin and I are going to speak alone for a few minutes."

"I'm not leaving" he said petulently. "This affects me too and I have a right to be here."

"You may think you have a right to be here but we can't have a productive discussion if you and Robin are going to just fight with each other. So in the interest of resolving this, I'm asking you to take a walk."

Patrick looked at his father with a hurt expression on his face. "Fine" he grumbled. Turning to Robin, he softened his face. "I just want you well - we have a beautiful baby and I want us to have the life we want but you and I need to be healthy in order to do that."  
"I'm quite clear on where you stand on the issue" Robin said flatly. Patrick shook his head and left Noah's office.

Noah closed the door after Patrick and sat back down in his chair. "Talk to me Robin - doctor to patient"

"There's nothing to say."

Turning on his computer, Noah called up the MRI images of Robin's brain. "Look here Robin - this was your scar tissue three weeks ago" he said circling the area on her frontal lobe. Scrolling down on his screen, he called up the second image taken. "Now you can see here that the scar tissue has expanded, further affecting the frontal lobe and obviously your emotions and behaviour." He turned back to face her. "Robin, if the meds were going to work they would have by now."

"I disagree, I think we should give it more time. I do not want the surgery."

Noah leaned back in his chair and watched Robin intently. She was definitely struggling with something but seemed unwilling to open up about it. He wanted to reach the part of her that knew surgery was the right decision for her, Patrick and their child but he was having difficulty cutting through the barriers. "What are you afraid of?" he asked quietly.

Robin looked at his kind, open face - there was so much of him in Patrick. She wanted to tell him but she didn't know what to say. It was as if the words dangled in front of her, teasingly out of reach. "What makes you think I'm afraid of anything?" she challenged.

He smiled at her. He had come to love her as a daughter. He was protective of her, in awe of her and impressed by her more everyday. She was a talented, brilliant researcher who loved his son very much. "Robin. Intellectually you know that surgery is the right choice but emotionally you are having a hard time with it which leads me to believe that you're afraid - either of the surgery itself, the outcome, the risks - I'm not sure what but there is something stopping you from making the right choice here."

"Maybe I'm tired of being lectured - maybe I'm tired of people making choices for me."

"No one is making this choice for you - this is your choice."

"And I choose no."

He chewed on his bottom lip. "Okay - can we make a deal?"

"Like?"

"How about you and Patrick go home and discuss - really talk about both of your concerns and fears - because Robin, make no mistake about it, my son is scared. He is scared for you and for him. I think you guys need to have a frank discussion to arrive at the decision. So talk about it tonight and then we talk more tomorrow."

"I don't see my mind changing."

"Will you at least try?"

"Fine" she sighed. "I just am so tired of this."

On the tip of Noah's tongue were a dozen statistics about how quickly things would improve post-surgery and anecdotal evidence of how her emotional and mental fatigue were directly related to the issue with her frontal lobe but he kept his mouth shut. He needed Robin to see him as on her side. He knew his son well enough to know that like a wounded animal, he would lash out when he felt threatened and he knew that in her current situation, Robin would push as many buttons as she could. He had to impartial and Robin needed to be able to trust him. So instead of the hard sell, he simply smiled and said, "I know you are. I'm here fore you Robin - anything you need."

She smiled back at him. "Thanks Noah - I appreciate it."

Noah's door flew open and Patrick filled the door frame. "So - do we have a decision?"

Robin opened her mouth to speak but Noah cut her off. "You and Robin are going to go home and discuss the options. Robin has some serious reservations and I think you need to arrive at a decision that works for both of you." Patrick opened his mouth to respond but Noah fixed him with a look.

"Fine" he said tightly. Looking at Robin, he held out his hand. "Ready to go?"

"Yes" Robin picked her purse up from the couch and smiled at Noah as she walked past. She walked out the door without taking Patrick's hand. He shrugged and followed her to the car.

They drove home in silence, the tension becoming thicker by the minute. Robin hopped out of the car as soon as he pulled into the driveway. Patrick sat in the car for several minutes. He breathed deeply and tried to swallow the building rage. Feeling that he finally had a handle on it, he got out of the car and went into the house. Brenda and Robin were fussing over Rian.

"Hey Patrick" Brenda said brightly. "Robin said everything was fine - that's great."

Patrick blinked several times at Brenda, stunned. "Fine is open to interpretation" he said. He looked at Robin. "Are you completely incapable of telling the truth?"

"Are you completely incapable of not being an idiot."

"Whoa - hey - what's going on?" Brenda said, looking from Robin to Patrick.

"Nothing" Robin said, glaring at Patrick. "We're having a disagreement."

"D'uh" Brenda said. "That much is obvious - what are you disagreeing about?"

"Your best friend is refusing surgery that will once and for all fix what's going on."

Brenda looked at Robin wide-eyed. "Really? Robs - why?"

"Because unlike Mr.I-can't-cut-into-people-fast-enough, I would like to give the meds a chance to work."

"They would have worked by now if they were going to - they are NOT working - so why don't you tell me why you won't have the surgery - is Stone telling you not to?"

Robin narrowed her eyes. "Don't you dare speak his name like that - like he has anything to do with what's going on."

"Doesn't he? Isn't the real reason you're afraid of having the surgery because your visions of him will disappear and you'll be stuck with just me?"

Brenda's mouth dropped open. "Okay" she stood up, taking Rian from Robin's arms. "Number one - I'm taking your child upstairs to his crib so he doesn't pick up on all this and number two" she looked at Robin, "are you seeing Stone again?"

Robin rolled her eyes. "I can put my son down, thank you very much." She took Rian back and headed upstairs.

Patrick ran his hands through his hair and blew out his cheeks. "One step forward, 29 steps back."

"Go easy on her" Brenda suggested.

"Go easy on her?" Patrick shook his head. "What about me? I'm trying to keep this all together and she is refusing to do the one thing that will make her better. If she's not yelling and lashing out, she's crying and sobbing and Brenda, I'm exhausted - so maybe someone, somewhere could go easy on me for a change."

Brenda flinched. "I'm sorry Patrick...I didn't mean..."

He put his hands up. "Don't worry about it."

Robin came back into the kitchen. "He's out like a light."

Brenda watched her friend carefully. "So about my second question - are you seeing Stone?"

Robin sighed. "I dream about him from time to time - what of it - Stone has nothing to do with this unless you count Patrick's jealousy of him."

Brenda saw the dark cloud cross his face and wanted desperately to be able to push pause - forcing them both to stop before they said things they would regret. "Why don't you both go to your corners and take a deep breath."

Patrick stared at Robin. "Brenda, thank you for taking care of Rian while we were out but I think it's probably best if you go now."

She shook her head. "Not a chance - not while the two of you need a referee."

"We don't need a referee" Robin said returning Patrick's stare. "We just need some honesty."

Her words were like body blows against him. He began to pace in the kitchen, hoping to walk off the pain. "Honesty? Sounds good to me - why are you refusing the surgery?"

"Because I don't think it's necessary. This is MY body and MY decision"

"You are not alone in this Robin - there are others to consider and you don't get to make this decision all on your own."

"I am alone Patrick - I am always alone and I have to what's best for me."

"BULLSHIT!" he yelled. "You have me - you have Rian and you have to do what's best for all of us."

Brenda stood up. "You guys seriously need to take a step back"

"Shut up Brenda" they said simultaneously.

"Oh lord" she said rolling her eyes. "You guys are getting nowhere - Robin - what the hell is going on with you? If the surgery is going to  
fix you, why won't you do it?"

"There is NOTHING wrong with me"

Patrick scoffed. "You are angry all the time and in the rare moments you aren't angry, you're sad - there is something wrong with you - you have scar tissue choking off parts of your brain forcing you to act this way. I love you, dammit, and I want you healthy."

"Maybe this is just the real me" she offered.

Brenda jumped in. "It's my turn to call bullshit. Robin Anna Soltini Devane Scorpio - this is not you - Patrick's right you're..."

"Oh so you're taking his side -I thought you were my friend."

"I am your friend but Robin this isn't you...are you afraid?"

"Gah! Why does everyone keep saying that?"

"Maybe because it's true" Patrick shot at her.

"You're a jackass" she spat

"So you keep saying." Patrick sighed and jammed his hands in his pockets. "I can't be here right now - I'm going for a drive"

"Patrick don't leave" Brenda asked.

"I'll be back" he said, looking almost mourfully at Robin. "I just need to clear my head." Brenda and Robin watched as he left the kitchen, his shoulders hunched and listened as the house door closed.

"Robin" Brenda began "what the heck are you doing? That boy loves you."

"Whatever" she said dismissively. "He's just pouting because he can't get his way"

"Robin - what is wrong - this isn't like you at all"

"Maybe it is - maybe I'm tired of everyone making decisions for me or about me - my father kidnapping Bruce, Patrick telling Kelly to save me over Rian after I had explicitly told him it should be the other way. Maybe I'm just feeling like taking the same risks everyone else feels content to take for me."

Brenda's mouth fell open. "You are not making any sense."

"You know Bren - either support me or go home - I don't need yet another person telling me what to do."

Brenda stared at her, aware that she was at a dead end. Her inability to reach her, to help her in the way Robin had done for her a million times before made her heart ache but there was nothing left to say and there was certainly nothing she could do. All Brenda could hope for was that it would pass and her friend would see reason. Gathering up her purse, she slung it over her shoulder. "Actually, I told Sonny I'd have dinner with him - I should get going." She pressed her cheek against Robin's. "I love you Robs - no matter what."

"Me too" she said flatly.

Brenda looked at her one last time before finally heading out the door.

xxxxxx

Patrick looked at the clock in his car as he pulled into the driveway. It was 10:00 p.m. and he had been gone for nearly four hours.He had checked his phone obsessively hoping that Robin would call to say she was sorry or call to ask him to come home but the call never came. They had bickered in the past but they had never fought in the way they had today. It was personal, it was intense and it wasn't over. Patrick wanted to tell her that he was terrified of losing her - of losing her the way he had lost his mother and his father and his best friend but he couldn't get the words out.

He quietly opened the door to the house and saw that all the lights were off. Taking off his shoes, he climbed the stairs and paused inside Rian's room for serveral minutes, just watching him sleep. Walking to the crib, he bent over and kissed Rian on his head. "I love you little man" he whispered. Opening the door to the bedroom, he saw Robin fast asleep. He undressed quietly and quickly and slipped under the covers. He turned to face her, to take her in his arms but was suddenly gripped by fear. It was the same fear that had kept him running from commitment his entire adult life until he met Robin. He wanted to hold her and kiss her - he wanted to wake her up and make love to her but he was suddenly paralyzed. Turning away from her, he rolled on to his side and pulled the blankets to him.

Robin lay on her back and stared up at the cieling, listening to Patrick's breathing. Her head was noisy and confused. Every time she thought she understood what she wanted or what she should do, the volume in her would increase. The surgery terrified her. What if something happened to her and it meant she lost Patrick and Rian - what if she had the surgery and she wasn't better?

_You don't have to do this. You don't have to anything you don't want to_

She could hear Stone's voice clearly but then suddenly it wasn't Stone's voice, it was hers.

xxxxxx

Patrick rolled over in the morning and reached for Robin. "Baby, I'm sorry" he mumbled sleepily. "I'm sorry we fought - I love you so much." He opened his eyes slowly and shivered as he saw her side of the bed empty. Propping himself up on his elbow, he found a piece of paper on her pillow. He closed his eyes and exhaled before he opened it.

_I need to clear my head and I can't do it here. I'm sorry. I'll be in touch later._


	126. Chapter 126

Chapter 126

Patrick sat up and reread the note. Gone. Robin was gone and he had no idea where or for how long. Realization suddenly dawned on him and he sprinted from his bed to Rian's room. He sighed in relief and walked over to his crib. Checking his diaper it was clear that Robin had changed and fed him before she left. He didn't know if that was a relief or a concern. Rian began to stir in his crib and Patrick picked him up and held him to his shoulder. "Good morning Rian - did you sleep well?" Putting his finger to Rian's mouth and seeing the way he latched on to it, realized he was hungry. Taking Rian to his room, he pulled on his jeans and a t-shirt before carrying his son downstairs. Placing Rian in his high chair, he set about preparing his bottle. He leaned against the counter, facing Rian, while his bottle was heating in the microwave.

"Oh Rian - what are we going to do about your mom? Do you think she has any idea how much I love her? I just want her to be healthy so that the three of us can be a family." The beeping microwave pulled him from his thoughts. Patrick tested the formula and putting the bottle down on the table, pulled Rian from the high chair and cradled him in his arms. Placing the nipple to his lips, Patrick smiled at his son as Rian greedily grabbed hold of the bottle. "That's a good boy - drink up so you can get big and strong." He exhaled as his thoughts turned to Robin. He, better than most, understood the need to get away and clear the cobwebs but he had never imagined she would steal away before the break of day. He needed to find her and talk to her. He needed to remind her that no matter what he loved her.

Pacing the floor with Rian trying to burp him, Patrick picked up the phone with his free hand and called Nathalie. Getting no answer, he dialed his father's number and asked him if he could come over and take care of Rian. He told Noah about Robin leaving and found his voice catching unexpectedly as he said it out loud. Noah listened and promised to be over within the hour. Taking Rian upstairs, Patrick changed him and showered so he could leave to find Robin as soon as Noah arrived.

xxxxxx

Nikolas smiled as Nathalie descended the staircase at Wyndermere. "Is everyone all settled?" he asked from the couch.

Nathalie nodded as she joined him. "Lulu has all three kids completely entranced with her storytelling - your sister is really very good with kids."

He lazily ran his hands through her hair. "She has a lot of undiscovered talents - and by that I mean undiscovered to her."

She smiled. "Maybe this time will help her sort some of that out."

He stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. "Are you okay?"

She tilted her head. "Sure"

He raised an eyebrow. "You seem tense."

Exhaling quietly, she moved closer to him. "My spidey-sense is tingling - I just...there's something in the air."

Nikolas began to rub her shoulders. "Maybe I could help you relax"

"That sounds tempting"

"So give into the temptation" he said quietly, continuing to rub her shoulders. Nikolas turned on the couch so he was sitting lengthwise. He pulled Nathalie between his legs and began to massage her shoulders. She let her head drop forward and moaned quietly as his hands sent tiny shocks through her body. "One of things I like about your new hair cut" he said, bringing his lips close to her ear, his hot breath on her body. "is that it leaves your neck wide open for me."

Nathalie tilted her head to the side and looked at him over her shoulder. "Oh? And what do you plan on doing with my wide open neck?"

"This." He pressed his lips against her skin. Nathalie inhaled and rubbed her hands along his thighs. Nikolas kissed the side of her neck and moving up, suckled on her earlobe.

Nathalie pushed further back into him and was met by his growing arousal. "Well hello there" she said thickly.

He pushed his hips further against her. "You feel amazing." He dropped his hands from her shoulders and ran them along her sides. Snaking them around in front, he palmed her breasts and began kneading them through her shirt. Leaning her head back on his shoulder, she turned her head allowing Nikolas to bring his mouth down on hers. Nikolas moaned into her mouth as she coaxed her tongue into his mouth. Sliding his hands underneath her t-shirt he massaged her nipples through the lacy material of her bra. Nathalie began to grind her hips against him. Breathless as she broke the kiss, Nathalie turned over onto her stomack to face him. Nikolas put his hands underneath the back of her shirt and undid her bra.

"Nik" she said hoarsely.

"You're wearing too many clothes" he said, kissing the side of her face and down her neck. He pulled her t-shirt and bra from her.

"Wait" she said.

Brushing her bangs from her face, he looked at her. "Is something wrong?"

"Our kids and your sister are upstairs - they could come down here at any moment."

He pressed his lips against her forehead smiling. "Nope - they have everything they need upstairs and have no need to come down here. Alfred is watching out for us."

She started to undo the buttons on his shirt and kiss his chest. "Good old Alfred" she said against his skin. The feel of her breasts against his skin only made him harder. She pushed his shirt open, revealing his smooth skin. She lowered her head and traced circles over him with her tongue. He fisted her hair as she grazed her teeth over his nipples. Closing his arms around her, he slowly rolled her onto her back so he was on top of her. He nipped at her collarbone and kissed his way to her breast. He licked her hardend nipple before taking it in his mouth and slowly sucking on it. Nathalie gasped in response. He stroked her through her jeans and she parted her legs, pushing herself into his hand. He quickly undid the button and zipper on her jeans and pushed them over her hips. Nathalie ran her hands through his hair and Nikolas' breath became shorter as he reveled in her touch. It had been a long time since any woman had made him feel this alive. His love for Courtney had been real but if he were honest with himself, part of the excitment of their relationship came from its illicit beginnings. But it was different with Nathalie. They were both free to be with each other and the quiet force of her personality forced responses in him that he didn't think possible. Nikolas left a trail of kisses down her torso and onto her hot centre. He suckled at her engorged clit through her panties. Nathalie began to writhe underneath him.

"I know" she panted "that long and slow works for us - " she bit her lip to keep from crying out as he continued to kiss her through the silky material "but really, right now - I just kind of want you."

Nikolas raised his head. "Are you sure?" he asked smiling.

Nathalie brought her foot up along his leg, running it against his erection. "You're not?" she purred seductively.

He growled in response. Kneeling up, he pulled his shirt off the rest of the way and then stepped out of his pants. Before letting his pants drop to ground, he pulled a condom from his wallet. Staring at his jutting arousal, Nathalie sat up and began to stroke him, taking him in her mouth. Closing her lips around him, she dragged her tongue along his underside. "Nathalie" he hissed. He grabbed fists of her hair as she continued to bob up and down. Finally letting him go, she licked her lips seductively. Taking the condom from his hand, she tore open the foil packet and placed the tip of the condom between lips. Grabbing hold of him, she lowered the condom over his shaft with her mouth causing him to nearly climax on the spot. Gently pushing her back onto the couch, he placed his knee between hers and pushed her legs apart. Taking her by the hips, he pulled her forward and entered her swiftly.

"Oh god Nik - more" she pleaded.

Nikolas' eyes hooded over with desire he took her hard.Picking up her leg, he threw it over his shoulder deepening every thrust. Nathalie sat up and nipped at his lips as their pace increased. Their eyes locked and Nathalie felt something shift unexpectedly. Tightening around him, she bit into his shoulder to keep from crying out as her orgasm tore through her body. Feeling her let go, Nikolas gave into his release, his hips bucking against hers. They collapsed in a breathless heap, their bodies slick with sweat. Nikolas kissed her tenderly on the lips. "You're amazing" he whispered.

"So are you."

They lay tangled in each other until Nathalie began to shiver. Moving from underneath him, she pulled his blue shirt around her, doing up most of the buttons. Nikolas groaned. "The sight of your legs poking out from underneath my shirt could undo me right now."  
She smiled and struck a pose in his shirt. Lifting the collar against her nose she inhaled deeply. "It smells like you"

"Is that a good thing?" he asked pulling on his pants.

"It's a very good thing" she said, slipping into his waiting arms. They entwined their fingers and Nathalie melted against him. "I like being with you" she said quietly. "And I don't just mean as we were - I mean, I like it when we go to the park with our kids, I like it when we eat supper in your kitchen and I like it when you tell me stories about Greece."

"Have you ever been?" he asked, nuzzling her neck.

She shook her head. "I've been a lot of places but somehow I missed Greece."

"I'll have to take you - I want to show it to you."

"I'm sorry sir but you cannot go in there" Nikolas and Nathalie both lifted their heads at the sound of Alfred's crisp accent.

"Why - she's here, isn't she?" Patrick's voice boomed. He threw open the doors to the living room. "Robin?" he called out. He stopped short when he saw Nathalie dressed in Nikolas' shirt and Nikolas in nothing but his dress pants.

Nathalie got off the couch right away. "P- what's going on? You look frantic."

He eyed her, not quite believing the sight in front of him. "Is Robin here?"

Nikolas stood behind Nathalie. "No - is she missing?"

"She left - she needed to clear her head and I have called her mother and her father, I have been to Mac's house, the Quartermaine's, Morgan's apartment and Brenda's hotel and I can't find her anywhere. I thought she might be here."

Nathalie put her hand on his arm. "Patrick - what's going on - why did Robin leave?"

"We had a fight -she needs surgery and she's refusing" Patrick continued to look for Nathalie to Nikolas and back. It was clear what they had been doing and for some unexpected reason, it pushed him over the edge. "What are you doing here Nathalie?"

"What?"

"Why are you always here? Why am I always hearing that you've been here"

Nathalie did a double take. "Patrick - I don't understand what you're asking me"

"This isn't your home - you don't belong here - your home is in DC, your home is..." his voice trailed off.

Nikolas could see Nathalie stiffen as Patrick spoke. "With Drew - you were going to say that my home is with Drew"

"Where are the kids?" he asked accusingly.

"They're upstairs" she said, her eyes narrowing.

"Oh - bring them over so you can have a quickie?"

Nikolas took a step forward. "That's enough Patrick"

Nathalie put her hand up to stop him. "This is between me and Patrick, Nik" She spun furiously on Patrick. "Drew is dead Patrick - he chose to die - he chose to leave me and his family. And there are days where that hurts so much I can't breathe."

"And what? You're going to get over him by screwing him out of your system?"

Nathalie slapped him hard across the face. "Who the hell do you think you are talking to me like that?" she hissed.

"You're replacing Drew" he nodded to Nikolas "with him"

"NO! You're worried that Robin is going to replace you. Don't you dare Patrick Drake, don't you dare come in here and pick a fight with me because you are scared. This is so like you - you would pick fights with Drew all the time when you were mad or scared or needed someone to beat up on. But let's make one thing perfectly clear, I am not Drew and I won't put up with your shit"

"You certainly are not Drew and I can only imagine what he would think of you standing here, underwear optional"

Nathalie slapped his face a second time. "He fucking killed himself  
Patrick" her eyes filled with tears. "He doesn't get a say and quite frankly neither do you. I'm sorry that you and Robin are having a rough patch right now but if you speak her anywhere near how you just spoke to me, I don't blame her for needing to get away."

Patrick's eyes narrowed. "Go home Nathalie - take your kids and go home" He spun on his heel and left.

Nathalie stood in the middle of the living room and watched Patrick leave. Her knees began to shake and she brushed past Nikolas and picked her jeans up from the floor. She stepped into them and reaching for her bra, shrugged off his shirt and put her bra back on.

"Nathalie" Nikolas said, watching her. She picked her t-shirt up and turned it right side out before pulling it over her head. "Nat" he repeated. Walking around the couch she headed for the stairs. "Where are you going?" he asked.

Her cheeks still flushed crimson from Patrick's accusations. "I'm going to get my children and we're going home."

Nikolas froze "Home where?"

She shook her head. "I'm not entirely sure but I'm pretty sure we don't belong in Port Charles" She started up the staircase.

"Nathalie - you can't leave - you can't leave Port Charles." She paused on the stairs, unable to push the overwhelming humiliation from her mind. "You can't leave Port Charles" he repeated.

"Why not?" she asked quietly.

Nikolas licked his lips. This wasn't what he wanted to happen, this was not how he wanted it to happen. "Because I've fallen in love with you."

xxxxxxx

Sonny brought her a cup of tea as she combed through her wet hair. "Here you go sweetheart."

"Thanks" she smiled up at him. "Thanks for letting me crash here."

"Robin - you are welcome to stay as long as you need to. Can I do anything to help?"

She shook her head. "I just need to clear my head."

"Whatever you need, I'm here for you."

"Will you protect me?"

"Always."


	127. Chapter 127

Chapter 127

"Nathalie - you can't leave - you can't leave Port Charles." She paused on the stairs, unable to push the overwhelming humiliation from her mind. "You can't leave Port Charles" he repeated.

"Why not?" she asked quietly.

Nikolas licked his lips. This wasn't what he wanted to happen, this was not how he wanted it to happen. "Because I've fallen in love with you."

Nathalie stood completely still. "Don't say that" she said quietly.

Nikolas swallowed hard. "It's true – I've fallen in love with you"

"Take it back – don't say it – you don't mean it."

Nikolas walked to the stairs and stood at the foot of them. "Of course I mean it" he said.

She shook her head as her eyes filled with tears. "You don't – you can't."

Nikolas climbed the three stairs until he was standing beside her. Turning her around, he pulled her to sit down on the stair beside him. "I can't take it back Nathalie – this isn't how I wanted to tell you and I wasn't sure that I was ready to tell you but I don't want you to leave."

She rubbed her lips together and stared at the ground. She could barely hear Nikolas as Patrick's accusations and implications swirled around in her head. "He thinks I'm a whore"

The muscle in Nikolas' cheek began to twitch. He had respected Nathalie's wish to handle the situation with Patrick on her own but every harsh word he spewed at her felt like a blow to him. He knew how much she struggled with being with him. He could tell when she had been up all night thinking of her husband because the pain of his death would be echoed in her eyes. He saw the moments where she just held her kids tightly to her as if holding on to them for dear life because they were all she had left. He wanted to punch Patrick for making her feel like she was cheap for finding some happiness among the madness. "He doesn't think you're a whore – he's upset."

"Oh I know why he did what he did - Patrick has been doing that for as long as I've known him – when Noah would make him crazy or hurt him or disappoint him, he would pick a fight with Drew. Drew would just let him beat up on him, spew venom – whatever he needed until Patrick felt better." She shook her head. "I am not him and I think on some level, that is ultimately what hurts – he wants his girlfriend back and if he can't have her, he wants to be able to talk to his best friend about it and he can't have that." She turned and looked at Nikolas. "So this has pretty much managed to ruin a pretty big moment for you" she smiled sadly.

"And you but it doesn't change how I feel."

"Nikolas, I don't know that I can say it back to you" she said nervously.

He kissed her cheek. "I'm not asking you to. This is how I feel and I want you to know – I'm sorry that I just blurted it out at you; I normally have a much better sense of timing."

Nathalie slipped her hand through his. "You understand that I'm a bit of a mess, right? It's a pity you didn't know me before….before Andrew died, I was a pretty together person, on top of things, rarely prone to emotional outbursts. But in the eight months since Drew has died, I've not quite been so together."

He smiled. "I kind of like you messy" he said quietly. "Look, I know you're hurt and angry and you want nothing more than to run. DC would be nice, away from all the drama here but I'd like you to stay – I'd like to support you through all this."

"I can't make any promises" she said in a small voice.

He ran his fingers through her hair. "If you have to run, just don't go so far away that I can't find you."

xxxxxx

Patrick paced outside of Sonny's door waiting for Brenda. He blew out his cheeks when she finally appeared. "You're sure she's here?"

Brenda nodded. "I spoke with Sonny and gave him a quick rundown on what's going on. Do you have a plan?"

"If you mean by plan do I plan on walking in there, throwing her over my shoulder and carrying her out kicking and screaming then yeah, I have a plan."

Brenda grimaced. "You might want to have a back up because I feel confident Sonny will shoot you if you try that."

Patrick rubbed his hands over his face. "I'm a little out of my depth Brenda – I don't know what to do."

"Did you talk to Nathalie? Did she have any suggestions?"

His face clouded over. "She's too busy with other things"

Brenda narrowed her eyes. "Oh lord, the casualty list keeps growing, doesn't it."

He said nothing and knocked on the door. Max opened the door and nodded letting Brenda and Patrick through. He led them to the sitting room where Robin was sitting on the couch talking with Sonny. Looking up she was surprised to see Patrick and Brenda standing in the doorway. She looked over to Sonny who gave her an encouraging smile.

"I think you guys need to chat, don't you?" He stood up and walked out of the room, briefly touching Brenda's arm before leaving. Brenda sat beside Robin and Patrick sat in the chair that Sonny had just vacated.

"What's going on?" Brenda asked quietly.

Robin stared at Patrick. "I just needed to clear my head."

"You could have told me you were leaving – you didn't have to steal away in the middle of the night." The hurt was evident in Patrick's voice.

"It wasn't the middle of the night – you were up twice with Rian and I wanted to let you sleep."

Patrick exhaled and leaned back into the chair. "Robin, I would rather go sleepless and be exhausted if meant that you and I talked things through."

"Why are you pushing so hard for me to have the surgery?"

"Why are you pushing so hard not to have it?"

Brenda raised her hands. "As entertaining as answering a question with a question can be, I'm not sure it's entirely helpful."

"What do you want from me?" Robin asked.

"I want you to come home – I want you to be home with Rian and I.  
Come home – I'll move into the other bedroom if that makes you more comfortable but just come home."

"I'm not sure that I can come home if you keep pushing about the surgery."

Patrick leaned forward. "Make me understand – please make me understand why you are so opposed to the surgery – it's minimally invasive, it will make you healthy again – you only have to be in the hospital for two days – why won't you have it?"

"Because I don't want to"

Patrick slammed his hands on his legs in exasperation. "Why the hell not? Don't you love Rian?"

Robin shot straight up. "Don't I love Rian? Of course I love him, I love him more than anything else in this world and I would do anything for him…"

"He needs a healthy mother" he said hotly.

"He needs his mother to be alive"

"Is that what this is? You think you're going to die? You are not going to die Robin"

"I hate to tell you this but no matter how skilled you are you cannot make that guarantee."

"Come home Robin – just come home"

"Not yet"

Patrick shook his head. He had nothing left to say. He had begged and pleaded and she wouldn't be moved. "When are you going to see Rian?"

"I'll be by later"

He looked at Brenda and shrugged in defeat. He jammed his hands into his pockets and walked out without saying another word.

Brenda looked at her friend. "What the hell is going on Robin – there is something you're not saying."

"That's what I would like to know too." Sonny stood in the doorway. Walking into the room, he sat down on the other side of Robin. "Sweetheart, what's going on?"

"Nothing" she said flatly.

Brenda and Sonny exchanged looks. "Robs" Brenda began "You are torturing that boy – he loves you and you are being really cruel. If you've fallen out of love with him, if you don't want a relationship with him, end it now and you guys can work on being parents with each other."

Tears filled Robin's eyes. "I know I need surgery"

"Then why won't you have it?"

Her bottom lip quivered and she took a deep breath. Brenda took her hand and Sonny turned to face her. "Robin – the three of us have been through the wars together" Sonny said "there isn't anything you can't say here."

"It's Stone" she said. The minute she said his name, tears began to tumble down her face.

With a shaky hand, Brenda tucked a piece of hair behind Robin's ear. "What do you mean it's Stone?" she asked quietly.

"I see him" she wiped at her tears. "I see him all the time."

"And you're afraid if you have the surgery that he'll go away?" Sonny offered.

Robin shook her head. "No – just the opposite – I'm afraid I will."

"Robin, I don't think we're following" he said.

Robin inhaled deeply. She had told no one about this even as it slowly ate at her, eroding her confidence but she was at the point of no return and she needed to say it out loud. "I died…"

"What?!" Brenda exclaimed.

"During my surgery following the car accident, I died – on the table. It was surreal – I felt warm and just at peace. First I saw my grandmother who just smiled kindly at me and then I saw him."

"Stone" Sonny said thickly.

Robin nodded. "He came to me and took my hand. It really felt like he was holding it again. I could feel his long fingers wrapped around mine, the weight of his hand against mine. And he told me he was there to bring me home."

Brenda's eyes filled with tears. "Wha-what happened?"

Robin shook her head. "I don't know – all I remember after that was being cold and sore. He stayed with me when I was in the coma – but I didn't remember that until a few days ago. I see him everywhere – standing near Rian's crib, standing in a corner of the kitchen."

"Is he here now?" Brenda asked looking around.

"I haven't seen him here once"

"That's why you want to stay" Sonny said softly. She nodded. "But I'm not sure that I'm following what that has to do with the surgery."

Robin inhaled. "I'm afraid that if I go under again, if I have another surgery that this is it – that I'm going to die. That the reason I'm seeing Stone is to prepare me for death." Brenda's mouth fell open. "I know – I know this sounds bizarre but…" tears continued to fall. "I'm not ready to leave my baby – I want to watch him take his first steps, I want to hear him say his first word and I want to hear him call Patrick daddy. And I'm not ready to leave Patrick."

"But Robin – you keep pushing him away – he is going to leave you."

She nodded. "I know but at least he'll still be a part of Rian's life and I can still see him – but if I die…." Her voice trailed off. "I don't want to die " she hung her head and began to cry quietly.

Sonny stared out the window before looking back at Robin. "You have to tell Patrick – you have to let him know how scared you are."

She shook her head. "I'm not afraid to die Sonny, I'm just afraid I'm going to go before I'm ready. Patrick will think this is all hogwash – he doesn't believe in God or the afterlife. If it can't be explained scientifically then it doesn't exist. If I tell him this, he'll dismiss it and push me to have the surgery anyways." She sighed. "He has lost so much that he's better with some short term pain now than trying to come to terms with another generation of Drake men growing up without a mother."

"Oh Robin" Brenda said throwing her arms around her friend and holding her tightly. "There has to be another solution."

"I don't think so" she said, melting into her friend's comforting embrace. The two women stayed like that for several minutes before Robin pulled away. "I'm really exhausted – Sonny, can I go lie down?"

"Of course you can sweetheart."

Robin got up and kissed them both on the cheek before heading upstairs. Brenda and Sonny stared at each other. "You can't tell Patrick" Sonny said.

"Who said I was going to?" she asked defensively.

Sonny smiled. "You forget how well I know you - I see those wheels turning and I know your muscles are just twitching, ready to run all the way to Patrick and tell him everything. You can't – she will never forgive you if you do."

Brenda glared at Sonny. "I hate you"

He grinned. "I know."

She pulled on her bottom lip thoughtfully before her eyes lit up. "You're right – I can't help Patrick with this but I know someone who can" She pulled her cell phone from her purse and punched in the numbers.

"Hey Nat – it's Brenda"

"Hi Brenda – what's up?"

"I'm calling about Patrick…"

"Brenda, he and I are not exactly on speaking terms right now."

"I figured – Nathalie, he's a mess – there's complicated stuff going on with Robin and we've got her covered but I'm worried about Patrick –I'm worried he's going to give up and we won't have a chance to fix this. These two need each other but they need our help. If you could just put your anger aside for a short time and go to him – he needs you Nathalie."

Nathalie exhaled. "I can't do it Brenda – I just can't." And she hung up the phone.


	128. Chapter 128

Chapter 128

Patrick sank in to the leather chair in the living room. All the lights were off except for a small table lamp in the corner. Having spent the afternoon packing, he was surrounded by boxes. His t-shirt lay tossed across one of the boxes as he leaned back in the chair, swirling the scotch around in his glass. Rian was fed, changed and asleep in his crib upstairs. Despite his father's offer to stay and talk or to stay and not talk, Patrick had sent him on his way. It was over and he wanted to be alone. His battered jeans hung loosely on him. Unable to eat for the last few days, his lean frame had become leaner. He could put his fingers on so many moments – when he decided he had to be with Robin, when he knew he loved her, when he knew he loved Rian but he couldn't figure out just when it had all started to unravel.

He didn't even hear the key in the door and was only aware that someone had come in when he saw their shadow reflected on the wall. "What are you doing here?" he asked flatly, taking a long drink from his glass.

"Because you need me" Nathalie said.

"I was pretty much an asshole to you" he remarked dryly

"Yup, you were" she confirmed, standing in front of him.

"So what are you doing here?"

Nathalie looked around at the boxes. "Going somewhere?"

He shrugged. "Once Robin is ready to come home, I'll move out. It's only right that she and Rian have the house."

Nathalie shook her head. "You're an idiot."

"Going to slap me again?" he challenged.  
"I don't know – are you going to call me a whore again?" Patrick looked at the ground. "I am so pissed with you right now – you just have no idea how pissed I am."

"So why bother coming?"

"Because no matter what you say to me I still love you and I'm not about to let you throw away the best thing that has ever happened to you nor am I going to let you wallow in self pity."

He shrugged again. "Who's wallowing? I am merely accepting what is. Cheers" he raised his glass to her.

Nathalie dropped her purse and rolled her eyes. She walked around the room turning on several more lights before sitting down on the couch beside his chair. "So is this your big plan? Get slowly and stupidly drunk, move out and then what? Go back to sleeping with anything that opens it legs?"

He nodded. "Sounds good to me."

"So I see Defeatist Patrick has come out to play – I haven't seen him in a long time. He has a day and then he has to go."

He arched his eyebrow. "Pardon me?"

"You heard me – he can stay for a day and then you have to get up off the mat."

"I like the mat – it's comfortable down here."

Nathalie smiled. "Yeah well you can visit but you can't stay. You have people depending on you and you need to get up."

"It's over" he sadly. "I've a taste of it and now it's over."

"It's only over if you throw in the towel. Patrick what you have is worth fighting for – whatever is going on with Robin – you have to fight for her."

He shook his head. "I have no fight left in me. I can't do this – I knew all along she'd leave me – I tried to push her away in the beginning because I knew this day would come and I couldn't handle it."

Nathalie got up from the couch and sat on the arm of the chair. She rubbed his shoulder. "Bullshit" she said softly. "You aren't a passenger here Patrick – you go and you fight for her."

"I already have and I've lost."

"So, what? That's it?"

He drained his glass. "Yes." Nathalie sighed in frustration. "What am I supposed to do Nat? She doesn't want to get help – she doesn't want to talk to me – am I supposed to keep going back?"

"Do you love her?"

The question hung in the air and a million answers raced through Patrick's mind until he found the right one. "More than I thought possible."

"Then you keep going back. Patrick you have to show Robin that whatever is going on with her, your love for her is more – it's bigger, it's stronger and frankly it's just more important than anything else."

"I've tried. But she's too scared to let me in."

"Try harder"

"What are you? A drill sergeant?"

Nathalie smirked. "If it means kicking your ass until you get it, yes, yes I am."

"How do I do it?"

"Well not moving out is a really good start."

Nathalie noticed how his hand trembled slightly as he refilled his glass. "I want my family back"

Getting of the arm of the chair, Nathalie slid down to the floor and kneeled in front of him, forcing him to look at her. "P- Drew did the same thing that Robin is doing now – he decided that he had a problem that only he could handle, he didn't want to burden anyone else with it and by keeping it to himself and let the problem grow bigger and bigger he boxed himself in and made a series of really bad decisions. Those decisions cost me more than I can even say. So if I had the chance, if I knew that Drew was struggling with something, I would do everything I could – I would scream from a mountain top, I would swim across an ocean, I would stand in front of a 747 – until he understood that me loving him would get us through anything."

Tears slid down Patrick's face as he listened to Nathalie's impassioned plea. He knew she was right and that even if Robin wasn't willing to fight for their family, he had to be. "I wish Drew had let you fight for him."

She nodded, her voice suddenly thick with emotion. "Me too."

"About earlier" he began.

Nathalie shook her head. "Not now – one drama at a time Patrick." Patrick winced slightly as he saw the look in her eyes. Not normally a mean person he knew that he had crossed a million lines that morning when he confronted her at Wyndermere and the evidence of his actions was apparent in her eyes. Nathalie stood up and returned to the couch. "Tell me more about the surgery she needs."

Patrick explained the procedure in detail including the risk factors and success rate. He explained that Robin's behaviour and emotions would remain as they are without it or deteriorate if the scar tissue continued to grow.

"And as a doctor Robin would be aware of the risks and the consequences of her decision?"

Patrick nodded. "She knows almost better than anyone – her research is specialized in brain injuries and she knows how surgery can be successful when drug therapy failed."

"So, would you say that isn't thinking or acting in her own best interests if she refuses the surgery – that she is making decisions detrimental to her health and her quality of life?"

He furrowed his brow. "What are you getting at?"

"Patrick, you could take her to court and have her declared incompetent to make decisions regarding her own healthcare. As her proxy, you could then make the decision for her and she would have the surgery."

His mouth dropped open. "No – no way Nat – I can't do that to her. To call her incompetent – this is Robin Scorpio – even on a bad day she is more competent than most people I know – I can't do that."

Nathalie nodded. "I'm not trying to push you there P – I just want you to know you have options and if you need me I will help you any way I can."  
Patrick got up from the chair and sat beside her on the couch. Putting his arm around her, he kissed the side of her head. "If I need you? I think you and I are both very aware that there are no ifs about it – I need you and I promise to never, ever make you my punching bag again."

Nathalie smiled and patted his legs. "I have to get back to the kids – Lulu is watching them and I promised we could have a girly movie night."

He laughed. "A girly movie night? What kind of girly movie are a four year old, a 17 year old and a thirty something going to agree on?"

Nathalie smiled as she stood up. "I suspect it could be Pocahontas or Aladdin." She ruffled his hair. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Thank you" he said seriously. She nodded before heading out. Patrick stood up and pulled his t-shirt over his head. Heading towards the kitchen, he stopped when he heard the doorbell. "What's the matter, forget something?" he said opening the door.

"My key" Robin said, staring at him with watery eyes.


	129. Chapter 129

Chapter 129

Patrick stared at Robin, unable to speak. He licked his lips and swallowed hard. "Hi" he said quietly.

Robin bit her lower lip. "Hi."

He stepped out of the way. "Come in."

Robin walked through the door and turned to face him. "How mad at me are you?"

He stared deeply at her, not quite believing she was there. "I'm not mad - I'm worried."

She nodded. "Me too."

"Are you here to stay or are you just picking up some clothes to return to Sonny's?"

Robin walked into the living room and saw all the boxes. Her chest ached. "My stuff or yours?" she asked quietly.

"Mine" he said, putting his hands in his pockets to hide the shaking.

She grimaced. "Is Rian sleeping?"

Patrick nodded. "Drank his whole bottle and went down like a champ."

Robin smiled. "Any opportunity to work in a sports metaphor?"

"Pretty much"

They slowly walked around each other, the room thick with tension. Robin was nervous. After waking from her nap, she had come downstairs to find Sonny waiting for her. They talked further about her fears and while he chose not to pursue the subject of the surgery, he did push her to tell Patrick. He reminded her of how scared she had been to tell Stone about her HIV test results but in the end it was the right thing to do so they could face it together. He suggested that the same held true now and regardless of what treatment option she chose, she needed to tell Patrick for both their sakes. Intellectually she knew that everything Sonny told her was true and allowed him to drive her to the house. But standing on the porch of the house, hand poised over the doorbell her stomach sank. Every day was a struggle to keep her emotions in check and it exhausted her. Telling Brenda and Sonny her reasons for refusing the surgery was the first time she had been able to articulate it all at once. She had tried on several occasions to tell Patrick and Noah but couldn't form the thoughts. Most of the time her brain felt like it was wrapped in cotton and everything was just a little fuzzy. Much of her lashing out and quick temper was related to her frustration at not being able to express herself the way she wanted to. When communication was normally effortless, not being able to make herself understood threw her off balance.

"We're going to get dizzy if we keep walking in circles" she smiled.

"Yeah" he replied, not taking his eyes from her.

She swallowed thickly. "Can we...can we talk?"

"Of course"

Patrick sat on the couch and as Robin moved to sit in the leather chair, he patted the seat beside him. Robin smiled weakly and moved seats. Sitting facing him, she tucked her legs up underneath her and sighed. He tried to resist the urge to touch her but having her so close made that impossible. On some level he wanted to punish her for making him worry, for making him doubt himself but Nathalie's words ran through his head.

_So if I had the chance, if I knew that Drew was struggling with something, I would do everything I could – I would scream from a mountain top, I would swim across an ocean, I would stand in front of a 747 – until he understood that me loving him would get us through anything._

He gently ran his fingers along her leg.

"I'm sorry" she said quietly. "I'm sorry for leaving and not telling you where I was going."

Patrick nodded. "I don't want to fight with you Robin – I just want what's best for all of us."

"I know" Robin stared at the couch and twisted the rings around her fingers. "I need you to understand how much I love you…"

"More than the ocean?" he asked, mimicking Grace.

Robin grinned. "More than space" she replied.

He put his hands over hers to still them. "What's wrong?" he asked quietly.

"I….I can't have the surgery because I'm afraid I'm going to die" she hung her head as she finished speaking.

Patrick stared at her blinking. "You mean because it's high risk?" he asked in confusion.

Her eyes filled with tears. She hated that she could no longer control her emotions. Never prone to crying without a reason she felt that all she had done lately was cry or snap at people. It was like walking with two left shoes on. She moved closer to him. "I don't know where to begin" she whispered.

Patrick slid back on the couch until he was resting against the arm. He held his arms open to her but she shook her head, afraid of how she had hurt him. He nodded insistently and Robin crawled towards him and settled in, her back to him. He closed his arms around her. "When my world came crashing down around me, you wouldn't leave me now matter how angry or ugly I got. You held me until I believed it would be okay. This is what we do." He kissed the back of her head. "So tell me why you're afraid you're going to die."

Robin pushed back against him and pulled his arms tighter around her. She told him of her near-death experience on the table after her accident and the constant visions of Stone. "The thing is, it's not him – that's not Stone."

Patrick's mind raced as he tried to take it all in. "How do you know?"

"Because, much like you, Stone would never make me feel scared – he always made me feel safe. If it were really a vision of Stone I think I would feel at peace as opposed to frantic." She leaned to the side so she could see him. "I know I'm not well Patrick – I know when I lash out or start to bawl what the reasons are for it but if it's a choice between being off balance or never seeing you and Rian again" her voice caught in her throat "I know what I choose."

Patrick pressed his lips against the back of her neck and Robin felt hot tears on her skin. "I thought you didn't love me anymore" Patrick whispered.

His words were like a knife through her. Robin turned around in his arms. "You are the love of a lifetime." All of Patrick's fears of not being good enough, of not being the man she needed came tumbling out in the tears that slid down his face. Robin wiped at them gently with her thumbs and captured his lips in the tenderest of kisses.

Pulling away from the kiss, he pressed his lips against her forehead. Their moment was interrupted by Rian making his presence known. Robin slid away from Patrick "I'll get him if you get the bottle."

He smiled. "Done."

Patrick warmed up the bottle and when he came back to the living room, Robin was sitting in the same position as he left her but this time she had their son cradled in her arms. There was something about the sight of her with their child, the absolute uncomplicated love that flowed from her, that moved him beyond words.

Passing the bottle to her, he settled in behind her and wrapped his arms around the two of them. "We are going to have to talk about what to do when your condition starts to deteriorate" Patrick said quietly.

"The meds could keep me in check for a while" Robin said, nuzzling Rian's face.

"And what happens when you're no longer in check?"  
"I don't know" she said simply.

"Robin, I'm not going to let you get to the point where you become a danger to yourself or to Rian."

"What are you going to do?" she asked kindly "Fight the world?"

"I'll slay dragons if I have to. There is a way around this – I refuse to accept that you having the surgery means you are going to die – it goes against everything I believe in."

"Why do you think I had such trouble telling you – but Patrick, this is a feeling, deep inside me – it's internal alarm bells going off."

"Then we'll drown them out – we'll shut them off. I'm not giving you up – you are my family and I have a say in what happens." Patrick felt her body tremble in his arms. "Robin?" he asked.

"I'm just so scared Patrick – I used to not be afraid of dying but now….." her voice trailed off.

"But now what?"

"I have everything to live for."

"Then that's what you hang on to Robin – that is what will pull you through. That's what will pull us all through." Patrick tightened his arms around them. This was his family and he wasn't going to let anyone, psychotic politicians or visions of dead boyfriends, take that from him.

xxxxxxx

"Lulu!" Gracie ran from the swings "Lulu!!"

Lulu stopped and bending down, held her arms open. "Hi Gracie!" The young girl launched herself into Lulu's arms and covered her face with kisses. "How's it going munchkin?"

"Fine - wanna come play on the swings?"

"Grace - Lulu looks like she's on her way to somewhere" Nathalie said, coming up behind her pushing Oliver in a stroller.

"But I want her to play with me" she whined slightly "Don't you want to play with me?"

"Grace" Nathalie admonished. "Lulu has spent a lot of time with you in the last few days - she has friends her own age."

"Oh" the little girl's face dropped.

"That's okay" Lulu said brightly. "I don't have anywhere to be right now – we can play on the swings."

"Lulu" Nathalie said "You don't have to indulge her."

"It's fun – I was just on my way home.." Lulu didn't finish her sentence before Grace grabbed her hands and dragged her to the swing.

Lulu sat down on the swings and put Grace on her lap facing her. They swung gently with Lulu leaning back forcing Grace to fall on her. The young girl screamed in delight.

"You really have a good touch with her" Nathalie said as she set Oliver down in the sandbox and unpacked his buckets and shovels. "How are things going?"

Lulu nodded. "Okay – my dad came with me to my appointment with Alan – he had a ton of questions for him and Alan answered every one of them."

"Must have been kind of good to have your dad there"

"It was – I'm beginning to realize how many people I have in my corner and when I'm having a bad day that helps."

"How about the meds – any better?"

"I'm not throwing up every half hour so that's good."

Grace looked up at Lulu. "Are you sick?"

Lulu smiled. "Kind of, I have to take pills to keep me well." Grace leaned forward and planted a sloppy kiss on Lulu. "What was that for?" she chuckled.

"You're all better now" she said confidently "Mommy makes me better when she does that."

Nathalie stood up. "Grace, honey – Lulu doesn't have a booboo – it's a different kind of thing."

Grace looked from her mother to Lulu with apprehension. "Are you going to die?" she asked. "Cause my daddy died and I don't want you to die."

"Gracie…" Nathalie started.

Lulu shook her head. "I got it." She played with the little girl's ponytail. "I'm not going to die any time soon Gracie. I have a bug in my body that can make me sick but so long as I take my pills then the bug goes to sleep and doesn't bother me."

"Oh" she said, watching Lulu's face carefully. "But we can still play, right?"

Lulu laughed. "Of course we can monkey"

"Then swing!" she commanded.

As the two of them swung back and forth, hair flying in the wind and Grace giggling loudly Lulu saw for the first time what she had been looking for since she was diagnosed. It was one of those things that was difficult to see until it was right in front of you. Lulu saw hope and knew that she was going to be okay.


	130. Chapter 130

Chapter 130

Patrick reached for Robin and when he found the bed empty he panicked, sitting straight up in bed.

"Morning" came Robin's soft voice.

Patrick turned his head and smiled relief as she came into the room carrying Rian. "Was he crying?"

Robin shook her head. "Nah - just fussy. I heard him sqwak a little bit and I wanted to get him before he woke you." She climbed back into bed as Patrick took Rian from her.

She smiled as Patrick cradled their son in his arms and nuzzled his face. "Hey little man - did you have good sleepies?"

Robin giggled. "The suave Dr. Drake speaks in baby talk, will wonders never cease."

His cheeks flushed crimson. "Uh, yeah - that's going to be our little secret right?"

She kissed his bare shoulder. "Of course...for a price."

Patrick raised his eyebrows. "A price?"

"Mmm-hmm" she said, tracing circles with her tongue.

He put his hand over Rian's eyes. "Don't look - your momma is being saucy" Robin giggled. "If you can make it to your first birthday without severe emotional scarring it will be a miracle." Robin bit his shoulder playfully. He turned and kissed Robin gently on the lips. He place Rian down on the other side of Robin and slid down until he was lying on his side. Robin placed pillows around him so he couldn't roll away and then snuggled down against Patrick. He linked his hand with hers and then brought their hands around Rian. He sighed against her skin. It had not been a night of conversation but rather one of unspoken thoughts. They had held each other and held onto each other - each communicating their regrets, their fears and their love through simple touches, skin on skin. Robin had rested her head against his chest, the steady rhythm of his heart making her feel safe and lulling her to sleep. He had continually touched her, stroking her arms, kissing her head pouring out all of his love for her in those movements.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked quietly. She could feel him smirk against her skin.

"If my college buddies could see me now"

Robin giggled. "Not exactly the epitome of a player?"

"Something like that. I'm fairly certain that I had likened moments like this to a fate worse than death but now that it's here there really isn't anything I would rather do."

"Did you really think that you would never settle down?" Robin tickled Rian's chin as she spoke.

"Honestly? I didn't want this – I imagined myself being a bachelor for life, devoting myself to my career and having my pick of the ladies.

Did you ever see yourself with a child?"

She exhaled. "I knew I wanted one but I never thought that I would get the chance. I never thought I would get another chance at love. Jason saved me and wrecked me all at the same time and I had made peace with the idea that I would devote myself to my career and that would be my contribution."

"Neither of us are where we thought we would be"

"But both of us are where we belong." Patrick nuzzled Robin's neck in response.

She giggled as she felt his erection push against her. "Does that thing ever sleep?"

He was grateful that her back was to him and that she couldn't see that him blush. "With you around – not likely." He hooked his top leg over hers and pushed a little closer to her.

"So um" he began "I think Nathalie and Nikolas are getting pretty close."

She smiled. "That's great Patrick – you must be happy for her." She could feel his muscles tense. "You are happy for her, aren't you?"

"Doesn't it seem soon? Isn't she just trying to stop hurting about Drew?"

"So what if she is?" Robin asked kindly. "Patrick, she is a young woman whose life was turned completely upside down. So she wants to stop the pain and she's found someone who helps her do that, who makes her feel good about herself – what's the problem?"

"What about Drew?"

"What about him?"

"He's the father of her kids – she can't replace him."

Robin turned her head to the side. "Is that what you're worried about? That she'll forget about Andrew? How many years has it been since your mom died?"

"11 – why?"

"Do you there's a day that goes by that your dad doesn't think about her and miss her? Honey, Nathalie is never going to forget about him – they created two children and she was in love with him. But she needs to live again as well – she can't stay stuck in the past."

"I guess."

Robin turned in his arms. "Patrick, are you afraid that if she moves on that she'll forget about you too?" His inability to meet her eyes gave her the answer. "She loves you Patrick, you are so important to her and so important to her kids – whatever else she does, that won't change." Reaching her hand up, she stroked his cheek. Patrick took hold of her hand and kissed her palm.

Robin let go of Patrick's hand as Rian began to fuss and cry. "I think he's hungry."

"I can take him if you want" Patrick offered.

Robin kissed him gently on the lips. "I'll do it – you need to just rest for a while."

He arched an eyebrow. "I'm not sick"

"No but you've been taking care of me and of Rian and now it's time for us to take care of you a bit." She kissed him again before extricating herself from his arms and getting out of bed. Pulling her robe on, she picked up her son and padded downstairs to get his bottle.

Patrick rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. Robin was right, they were both where they belonged. He listened as she cooed and sang to him downstairs and he couldn't keep from smiling. There were plenty of complications in their lives but Rian was simple. All they had to do was love him and meet his needs. Those moments became capsules of perfection for them and he wouldn't trade a single second of it. His thoughts turned to Nathalie and while yesterday he recognized that he had been unfair to her, his conversation with Robin made him understand the depth of his cruelty. He needed to see her and make things right. Rolling out of bed, he headed to the shower.

Ducking his head under the showerhead, he let the water wash over him, the heat relaxing his muscles. A small smiled played at the corner of his mouth as he heard the shower curtain pull back.

"Where's Rian?" he asked, not opening his eyes.

Robin ran her hands over the expanse of his back and shoulders. "Fed, burped, changed and asleep." She snaked her hands around his waist while pressing a kiss into the middle of his back. She felt him sigh as her lips touched his skin. She trailed her fingers over his hips and ran them lightly between his legs. Patrick jerked slightly as she touched him and started to harden immediately. Reaching behind him, he cupped the globes of her ass, pulling her closer to him. Robin ran her tongue along his spin sending shivers through him. Her hands wandered upwards, skimming his chest. The pads of her fingers traced circles over his nipples before tweaking them. Patrick's entire body responded to her touch.

Turning around, he crashed his mouth over hers, obscenely moving his tongue in and out of her mouth. She raked her fingers over his chest, moaning into his mouth. She could feel his erection straining against her and pushed into it, Patrick groaned at the contact. Robin brought her hand between them and slowly stroked his length as Patrick assaulted her neck. He nibbled at her soft, inviting skin, taking her ear lobe between his lips. She tilted her head to the side, opening up her neck to him. He pushed her against the shower wall as his hands moved to her breasts, kneading them roughly. Robin tugged on his arousal, eliciting a hiss from him. "God Robin" he said, gritting his teeth as her thumb danced across his sensitive head. Lowering his head, he licked at her nipple as the water continued to fall on both of them.

Spreading her legs, Robin took his hand and placed it between them. "Touch me" she pleaded. "Patrick…." He teasingly grazed his hands over her sex, playfully pinching and stroking her engorged folds. She pushed her hips against his hand, trying to increase the pressure. Patrick slipped a finger inside, his eyes growing hazy at the feel of her wetness. He pumped it in and out of her and just as Robin moved for more, he pulled it out and smiled seductively at her. Robin took his hand and kissed his fingers one by one. Patrick growled and pressed his body against hers. Hoisting her up, he cupped her sex, brushing and then pressing on her clit. Leaning forward, Robin bit down on his shoulder to keep from crying out. Patrick's erection began to throb painfully and he ached to be inside her.

Pulling back the shower curtain, he smirked when he saw the Robin had laid out a condom on the bathroom counter. Turning back to make a comment, his eyes widened as he saw her playing with her breasts, pinching her own nipples. The condom momentarily forgotten, Patrick placed his hands over hers. "Did they not get enough attention?" he asked huskily.

"They always want more – I always want more"

Sinking to his knees, Patrick pushed one of her hands out of the way, taking her whole breast in his mouth. Sucking on it, his tongue circling the nipple, Robin arched further into his mouth. He let it go with a loud pop before moving the other breasts. He grazed the nipple with his teeth while his thumb moved in hot, intense circles around her clit. "Christ, Patrick…I'm almost there" she said, pushing down on his hand. He continued his ministrations until he felt her on the brink. Suddenly letting go, Robin pouted at the loss of contact.

He reached back to the counter and quickly opened the small foil packet. He quickly sheathed himself and turning Robin around, placed her hands on the wall under the showerhead. Instinctively Robin spread her legs and braced herself as he entered her from behind. With the water landing on her back, Patrick gripped her hips and began to thrust. One hand moved to her breast, kneading it in time to their movements while the other moved back to her apex. Robin was incapable of seeing anything in front of her and continued to meet him thrust for thrust. On the verge of her climax moments before, every movement, every sensation was heightened and her body twitched with electric shocks. His name tore from her lips as wave after wave of her orgasm rolled over her. Feeling her tighten around him, Patrick thrust into her one last time before coming hard against her.

Slowly pulling out of her, he turned her around and tenderly kissed her lips. "It's very economical to shower together" he said breathlessly.

Robin smiled, kissing his chest. "Never let it be said I'm not environmentally friendly."

xxxxxx

Nikolas watched as Nathalie moved around the suite, picking up toys and putting things away. "Do you ever stop moving?" he asked amusedly.

She looked up from the toy chest. "Er, no?"

"Any luck finding a place to live?"

She shook her head, putting the last of Grace's dolls away. "I've seen a few places but nothing I really like. I want a place with a yard so the kids can play outside."

Nikolas patted his lap. "Come have a seat."

Closing the toy chest, Nathalie smiled as she sat down on his lap. Threading his hands through her hair, he nipped at her lips. Coaxing them apart, he slipped his tongue inside and moaned as she swept hers around his. Nathalie's fingers curled through his hair as she deepened the kiss. Finally coming up for air, she slid from his lap onto the couch. "I really like kissing you" she smiled.

"Glad to hear it" he said, taking off her shoes. He began to massage her feet and Nathalie closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation coursing through her.

"How did you get to be so perfect?" she asked hazily.

Nikolas paused briefly before continuing. "Don't say that, I'm not perfect."

"You're pretty perfect to me."

"I'm really not" he said quietly.

Nathalie opened her eyes and sat up. "Hey – is something wrong?"

Looking straight ahead he shook his head. "No, it's just…I'm not perfect – I'm not anywhere close to it."

Removing her feet from his lap, she moved beside him and took his hand. Lacing her fingers through his, she nudged his shoulder. "Okay, obviously we just hit a nerve, care to talk about it?"

He pursed his lips together. "I've tried to tell you a couple of times but at the same time I'm afraid to tell you."

She sucked in a breath. "Why?"

"Because I think it will change how you see me but you should know – especially because Port Charles is a small town and someone is bound to tell you."

She turned to face him. "You've already told me about your crazy family."

"I was married before"

She nodded. "To Emily, right?"

He nodded. "It was a complicated marriage and some things happened that broke the marriage but we continued to try and make it work."

"But?"

He blew out his cheeks. "But I became impatient and selfish and I met Courtney and….we had an affair – I cheated on Emily." He hung his head. "I am embarrassed and ashamed of my behaviour. I fell in love with Courtney but I hurt Emily terribly."

"I thought that you and Emily got along quite well."

He nodded. "We do."

"Sounds like she's forgiven you." He nodded again. "So, don't you think you should forgive yourself?"

He looked up in surprise. "But…aren't afraid….don't you think less…"

She smiled kindly and stroked his face. "Nikolas – we all do things – we have all done things that we aren't proud of. And I can't judge you for choices you made long before I knew you – all I can worry about is right here and now." She kissed his cheek. "And right here and now is pretty good."

Nikolas smiled and brushed her lips. He pushed her back on the couch but was interrupted by a knock at the door. Nathalie grinned. "Timing sucks" Getting up from underneath him, she opened the door and was surprised to see Patrick standing there.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

Nathalie looked at him and suppressed the urge to refuse him. "Sure" she said stepping out of the way.

Nikolas stood up. "I should get going" he said.  
"You don't have to leave on my account" Patrick said uncomfortably.

"I do – I have some errands to run and I suspect you two actually need to talk." He kissed Nathalie quickly on the lips. "I'll call you later" He nodded at Patrick before heading out and pulling the door closed behind him.

"What brings you by?" she asked returning to the couch.

Patrick sat down on the end. "Robin came home last night and we talked."

"I'm so pleased" she said genuinely. "Is she okay?"

"Yes and no but that's not why I'm here." He fidgeted with his hands. Never having been too close to many people, apologies were not part of his repertoire. "I owe you a huge apology and I'm not sure how to start it."

Nathalie fixed him with a look. "Well why don't we start with you telling me whether or not you believe any of the crap you spewed at me yesterday"

He shook his head. "I don't – I…god, Nat, I was so scared about Robin and so mad and you looked happy and I don't know but it made me mental and I went off."

"Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to even consider being with Nikolas? Every day I have to remind myself that it's okay, that I deserve to be happy and that I'm not being unfair to Drew or the kids. I still have nightmares about his death. And then I have to work to make sure that I'm not being unfair to Nik. And you come in, all hurt like a wounded animal and you take the one thing – the one thing I am most insecure about and you crapped all over it."

"I am so sorry. Of course you deserve to be happy."

"Then what was that really about?"

Patrick chewed on his bottom lip. Being with Robin had helped him to be more open with his feelings but it still terrified him to admit things out loud – it felt like a weakness. "I felt like I was losing Robin and then when I saw you with him, I thought I would lose you too, that you wouldn't need me."

Nathalie's face softened slightly. "So you weren't worried I was replacing Drew, you were worried I was replacing you?"

He nodded. "Nat – Drew is our connection and …"

"Patrick - Drew is who brought us into each other's lives. Our connection runs much deeper – for god's sake you watched me give birth to two children – that makes us pretty connected."

"I know" he said quietly.

Nathalie moved beside him and put her arm around him. "You have got to stop thinking that everyone is going to leave you – give us a chance to prove our staying power – you might be surprised."

"Do you think you can forgive me?"

She gave him a half smile. "I already have"

He kissed her cheek. "Thanks."

"But that doesn't get you off the hook – you have to make it up to me."

"Anything – tell me what you want, I will do anything to prove to you how sorry I am."

She smiled knowingly. "Karaoke."

"Karaoke?"

She nodded. "Three songs of my choosing – tomorrow night at Jake's."

"And then I'm off the hook?"

"Yup"

He shook his head. "It is a far, far better thing that I will do than ever I have done…." Nathalie giggled. He kissed her cheek again. "I love you Nat"


	131. Chapter 131

Chapter 131

"Tell me again why Nathalie thinks you will enjoy singing karaoke?" Robin asked pulling her dark green sweater over her head.

"Um, I'm not sure my enjoyment is actually a factor here." Patrick said. He reached for his navy shirt and pulled it over his long-sleeve white t-shirt.

"How badly did you screw up?" Robin smiled.

"Pretty badly." Patrick did up his belt. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" she asked innocently.

"Like you want to undo my belt."

"Maybe I do." She licked her lips.

"Fine but then you're going to have to explain to Nathalie why we're late and I hate to think how she would punish you."  
Robin ran her hands up his chest. "Oh she wouldn't punish me, I'm sure she would just punish you further."

Patrick rolled his eyes. "Great." He turned towards the door of the bedroom when he heard the doorbell ring. "I think that's my dad - saved by the bell." He gave her a quick buss on the lips before leaving to answer the door.

"Hey dad" he said, letting Noah in.

"Hey sport" Noah said, clapping his hand on Patrick's shoulder. "How are things?"

He smiled. "We've had a good couple of days."

"Any more symptoms?"

Patrick nodded slightly. "A few but on balance it's been quite manageable. And now that we both now what's going on it's making it a bit easier."

"You know that you guys will have to address the surgery issue at some point?"

"I do but Dad, I'm hoping to buy enough time that it resolves her fears and we can move forward. For the time being, I'll take the good days."

"Look Rian" Robin said coming down the stairs "it's Grandpa Noah" Robin waved Rian's hand.

Noah beamed at his grandson. He kissed Robin on the cheek. "Hi sweetheart"

"Hi Noah."

He put his hand on Rian's head. "Hi beautiful boy"

Robin held Rian out to Noah. "Do you want to take him?"

"Always." Noah said. He cradled his grandson in his arms and began to make faces at him. "We're going to have a good time, yes we are. Just us guys kicking back and watching the hockey game. Now I know this is all very new to you so I'll start by explaining the offside rule and we'll go from there."

Robin snaked her arms around Patrick's waist and looking up and him smiled. Patrick couldn't tear his eyes from his father holding his son. "We should go" Robin suggested. "We'd hate to be late for your debut." Patrick rolled his eyes.

Noah laughed. "That will teach you to mess with your friends." He turned to Robin. "You are taking pictures right?"

She held up her digital camera. "You better believe it."

Patrick covered his face with his hands. "It's just going to be the four of us right?"

Robin nodded. "Yes you big wimp. I'm surprised that you're nervous - you like having an audience."

Patrick kissed Rian's head. "Bye little man. I will explain later about Dante's seven levels of hell and where karaoke fits in with that." Robin kissed Rian and then Noah before sliding her hand into Patrick's. They gave one last wave before heading out the door. They had decided to walk to Jake's, taking advantage of the crisp fall night. "How's my hair?" he asked nervously.

"Why? Do you think Simon Cowell is going to be in the audience?" she teased.

"No, uh, I just.." he patted at his hair.

"Oh my god" Robin giggled. "You're nervous - you are actually nervous."

"What? No - I'm not, I mean..."

Robin bounced up and down. "Patrick is nervous, Patrick is nervous" she said in a sing song voice.

"You are an evil, evil woman" he said flatly.

"But you love me"

"Maybe"

"Nah - you love me - you love me a lot"

"Maybe a little bit but not a lot" He held open the door to the bar.

"You love me a lot" she repeated smiling.

"Fine, I love you a lot" He stopped in his tracks as he walked through the door. Rather than it being just Nathalie, Nikolas, Robin and him, the bar was packed with friends. Lainey, Kelly, Milo, Lucky, Elizabeth, Brenda and Epiphany were all crowded around tables.

Nathalie stood up and pointed. "There he is boys and girls - noted karaoke performer, Dr. Patrick Drake." Everyone started to whoop and cheer as the entire bar turned to look at him.

He leaned into Robin. "You knew about this didn't you?"

"Maybe" she teased.

"I'm not sure about loving you a lot anymore" he said, nipping at her ear.

She took his hand. "Let's go - times a wasting." She dragged him to the table and saw that Nathalie had saved them seats right beside her.

"So glad you could make it" she smiled. "I think we are going to have a great night ahead of us"

Patrick leaned in a gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I hate you."

She smiled evilly. "I know" She nodded up at the stage where a very drunk couple were warbling their way through Summer Loving from Grease. "Okay everyone" Nathalie said to the assembled group. "Here are the rules - Patrick must sing three songs of MY choosing. However I was unable to narrow it down to three so in this empty pint glass" she held it up "are 20 songs. I will pass the glass around and we will pick the songs that Patrick will sing."

Patrick slumped in his seat as his friends laughed. "I need a drink" he mumbled.

"Have no fear" Lucky said putting a glass in front of him.

Patrick held up the glass. "What the hell is that?"

"Irish car bomb" Lucky said. "Guinness beer with a shot of whiskey buried in it." Patrick made a face. "Oh, and you have to chug it."

Patrick scoffed. "Chug Guinness? It's not possible."

Nikolas turned to him smiling. "Don't make me tell Nathalie" he threatened.

"Fine" he grumbled. Taking a deep breath he downed the drink and shook his head as he slammed the empty glass on the table.

Nathalie grinned. "I think he is ready for his first song. Robin?"  
"Yes?"

"I think you should have the honour of picking the first song" she held out the glass.

Robin squealed. "Oh my - what a big moment for me" she winked at him and he stuck his tongue out at her. Reaching into the glass she pulled out a folded piece of paper. Unfolding it slowly, her eyes widened and she screamed in delight. "I touch myself"

"Oh god - not in public Robin" Lainey teased.

She giggled. "No - I touch myself by the Divinyls" She waved the paper in front of him.

"The universe hates me" he mumbled.

Nikolas clapped him on the back. "Better you than me!"

He shook his head as he walked to the DJ booth. Giving his request, he stepped on the stage. As the music started, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

_I love myself  
I want you to love me  
When I'm feelin' down  
I want you above me  
I search myself  
I want you to find me  
I forget myself  
I want you to remind me_

"Shake that booty baby" Robin called out to him. He kept his eyes glued to the monitor in front of him.

_I don't want anybody else  
When I think about you  
I touch myself  
I don't want anybody else  
Oh no, oh no, oh no_

"I bet you touch yourself" Brenda yelled. He shook his head, praying for the beer to kick in. He finished the song to very loud applause and shuffled back to the table. He flopped into the chair and turned to Lucky.

"I think I need another car bomb" he said.

"Coming right up" the policeman offered.

"Happy?" he turned to Nathalie.

"Not yet but I will be" She grinned.

Patrick raised his glass to her and reached for Robin's hand. She kissed his cheek. "You were kind of hot up there" she whispered.

"Are you going to reward me later?"

She captured his lips in a hot kiss. "Depends on how well you do with the rest of the songs."

"Oh my god - it's Kelly and Milo" Elizabeth said, pointing the stage.  
The odd couple took the stage and were singing Burning Love by Elvis.

"Wow - Milo can actually sing" Lucky said. "Hey Nik - any chance we're going to get you up there?"

He snickered. "Uh, I think it's against a royal decree somewhere."

Nathalie leaned in. "Not even if I promise to..." she whispered her offer in his ear and everyone laughed as his eyes bulged.

His mouth was suddenly dry. "Uh, well I can't do karaoke but is there another way I can earn that?"

She pressed her lips into his cheek. "We'll see"

"Drink?" he asked.

"Please" Nik got up and headed to the bar.

Nathalie turned to Robin. "How are you doing?"

She gave a small smile. "Up and down but I'm okay." She took a sip from her beer. "How are you?"

"I'm good"

Brenda leaned in. "Actually what my adorable but too polite sister is trying to ask is how the hell are things with Nik and is the sex good?"

"Oh god - I think I'm going to join the boys at the bar" Patrick said, getting out of his seat.

Nathalie blushed. "Things are fine" she said trying to avoid the second question.

"Whatever" Brenda slurred slightly. "Is he...you know...is he majestic in bed?"

"Brenda!" Nathalie and Robin screamed at the same time.

"What?" she asked innocently.

Nikolas sat back down beside Nathalie and passed her a beer. "Thank god" Nathalie said, picking up the drink and taking a long drink of it.

"Are you giving my girl a hard time Brenda?" Nikolas asked.

"I don't know Nik - is Nathalie your girl?"

Nathalie looked at him in surprise. "Want to dance?"

"Sure" he said, desperate to escape Brenda's inquisitive glances.

Patrick came back and sitting down, pulled Robin on to his lap. "I love you" he said nuzzling her neck.

She giggled. "How many car bombs have you had?"

He nibbled on her ear. "Not that many. I mean it Robin, I love you."

She stroked his face. "And I love you - and I love seeing you be a daddy to our baby." Dipping her head, she pulled his lips into hers and coaxed his lips apart with her tongue. Sweeping it in his mouth, she ran her hands over his shoulder.

"Oh gag me" Brenda said. "Are we singing or what?" Robin held up her finger indicating she needed just a minute.

Finally breaking free from the kiss, she turned to Brenda. "Let's go." Brenda grabbed Elizabeth and Epiphany and the four women headed to the stage. Taking the microphone. "We would like to dedicate this song to Port Charles' finest neurosurgeon - Dr. Dimples" Patrick covered his face with his hands. The women gathered around the microphones and began to warble.

_You walked into the party  
Like you were walking onto a yacht  
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye  
Your scarf it was apricot  
You had one eye in the mirror  
As you watched yourself gavotte  
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner  
They'd be your partner, and_  
They all pointed to Patrick as they hit the chorus.

_You're so vain  
You probably think this song is about you  
You're so vain  
I'll bet you think this song is about you  
Don't you? Don't you?_

They danced around the stage and Robin turned shaking her bottom at Patrick. Milo slapped him on the shoulder. "You're a lucky man."

Kelly slapped him in the chest. "You're not exactly unlucky" she growled.

Milo blushed furiously. "No - I just meant - I mean...should I just kiss you now?"

"That would be a good idea."

Patrick grinned as he watched Robin dancing and singing with her friends. She had a lightness about her that he hadn't seen in a long time and he knew he had to do everything he could to preserve that, no matter what the cost. The girls stumbled from the stage and Robin launched herself onto his lap. "Do you feel special now?" she asked.

"You have no idea" he grinned, kissing her cheek.

Nathalie stood up. "My turn!" she announced drunkenly.

"You're going to sing?" Nikolas asked hopefully.

"Hell no - I'm sending Dr. Dimples up on the stage." She jammed her hand into the glass and pulled out a piece of paper. Unfolding it she giggled immediately. Brenda took it from her and began to laugh, showing it to the others.

"Do I get to see it?" he asked.

Brenda passed it to Robin who doubled over laughing. Sitting up straight, she looked at Patrick seriously. "I expect real booty shaking this time" she handed him the paper. He groaned loudly and getting up, left Robin on the chair as he headed to the DJ booth. He trudged to the stage and took the microphone.

"Go Dr. Dimples" the women yelled at him. As the music started, Patrick turned around and shook his behind at Robin.

"That's MY man!" she said proudly.

_She sits alone waiting for suggestions  
He's so nervous avoiding all her questions  
His lips are dry, her heart is gently pounding  
Don't you just know exactly what they're thinking?_

Feeling the effects of three Irish car bombs, Patrick began to prance around the stage, pulling up the hem of his t-shirt as he sang the chorus.  
_  
If you want my body and you think I'm sexy  
Come on, sugar, let me know  
If you really need me just reach out and touch me  
Come on, honey, tell me so_

The girls jumped out of their chairs and danced around the stage, singing the song with him. Finishing the song, Patrick strug a pose and drunkenly basked in the applause.

"He can't sing at all" Lucky remarked.

"Is it possible he's tone deaf?" Milo asked.

"After listening to him, I might be" Nik added.

The DJ announced there would be a karaoke break and flipped on "You and Me" by Lifehouse. The dance floor filled with patrons. Patrick was headed off the stage when Robin grabbed his hand and pulled him to the dance floor.

Nikolas went in search of Nathalie and took her in his arma. "You feel good in my arms" he whispered to her.

She kissed him gently on the lips before resting her head on his shoulder.

Patrick and Robin swayed to the music, his hands roaming her back. "You having a good time?" he asked.

"The best" she smiled.

As the song ended the two couples headed back to the tables. Nathalie felt someone touch her arm and turned to them. Nikolas felt her stiffen immediately.

"Carol? Jack?"

"Nathalie - how are you?"

"I'm good thanks - what brings you two to Port Charles?"

"I'm bidding on a job at the hospital" Jack said.

Nikolas rested his hand on her waist, letting her know that he was there. "I'm sorry - Carol, Jack - this is my friend Nikolas. Nik, this is Carol and Jack Walker. Jack is Andrew's cousin." Patrick and Robin hovered nearby. "And Jack, you remember Patrick Drake? This is his girlfriend Robin Scorpio." Everyone shook hands. Nathalie shifted nervously from one foot to the other.

"So you know what we're here for" Carol said. "How come you're here?"

"I live here now."

"When did you move from DC?" Jack asked.

"As soon as she sank her teeth into that one" Carol said viciously nodding at Nikolas. Patrick moved towards them but Robin stood in front of him.

"Excuse me?" Nathalie said, narrowing her eyes.

"Typical you Nathalie. Drew was engaged to someone else and you decided you had to have him - you broke up that relationship and now your husband is barely in the ground and you've already moved on."

Jack stepped forward. "Nathalie I think what Carol is trying to say is that it's just surprising to see you with someone so soon after Drew's death."

"He's been dead for eight months" Patrick said.

"No moss grows under a rolling stone" Carol said.

Nathalie stepped towards Carol. "Let's get a few things straight Carol. I didn't break up Drew's engagement - he pursued me and I told him that there would be nothing between us until he was free. Just because his girlfriend was your friend is not my problem. And second of all, I owe you nothing in a way of explanation as to how I live my life."

"Drew would be ashamed of you - betraying his memory like this. Do the kids even remember him?"

"You always were an ugly little shrew" Nathalie said evenly. "You get whatever you deserve." She spun on her heel and walked to the table.

Nikolas stepped forward and eyed the couple. "I'm not sure we were properly introduced. I'm Nikolas Cassidine, chairman of the board of General Hospital. Good luck with your bid." He walked back to Nathalie.

Patrick shook his head. "You're right about one thing - Drew would be ashamed - of the two of you. How dare you talk to her like that."

Taking Robin's hand they left the couple with their mouths hanging open.

At the table, Nathalie gathered up her purse and her jacket. Nikolas came up behind her and put his hand on her back. "You okay?"

He flinched slightly as she turned around. She was pale and shaking. "I have to go" she said simply.

"Okay" he said, reaching for his jacket.

She shook her head. "I'm sorry - I...I just need to be alone. Thanks for a lovely night" she said, pecking him on the cheek as she left. She brushed past Patrick on her way to the door. He called after her but she ignored him.

Nikolas stared at the door as she left. He looked to Patrick. "I don't ...I don't get it."

Patrick exhaled. "Nik, the thing you have to know about Nathalie is that her dignity is her armor and those assholes just put a few chinks in it. She's embarrassed, humilated and hurt. She doesn't like people to see her upset. Drew told me in all the time they were together that he had only seen her cry twice."

"What do I do?" he asked.

Robin took Patrick's hand. "You can either respect her request to be alone..." she said

"Or?"

"Or" Patrick started "you can go after her and let her know that she's not actually alone"

He looked from Robin to Patrick and nodded. Kissing Robin on the cheek, he reached for his jacket. "I gotta go."

They watched Nikolas run out the door. Robin looked up at Patrick. "That was a good thing you did"

He winked. "I've decided I want everyone to be as happy as we are."

"Are you happy?" she asked seriously.

"In ways I never knew possible."


	132. Chapter 132

Chapter 132

Nathalie's hands shook as she put the key card in the door. She stopped in the doorway as her eyes came to rest on Nikolas sitting on the couch. "What" she swallowed nervously "what are you doing here?"

He stood up. "I came to check on you but I guess you took the long way – the really, really long way here since I've been here for 40 minutes" he said kindly. Her eyes were puffy and her face was pale, except for where the cold had left its imprint on her cheeks.

"How did you get in?" she asked, closing the door behind her.

"It's amazing what a tip can get you." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I called you a couple of times and when I didn't get an answer, I was worried."

"Why?" she asked flippantly. "My husband was the suicidal one, not me…" She looked at the ground before looking back at him. "That was incredibly insensitive of me."

Nikolas shook his head. "Doesn't matter." Walking to her, he took her by the hand to lead her back to the couch. "Your hands are freezing" he remarked.

She dropped his hand and leaned on the arm of the couch. "I'm fine – you should go."

"No."

She looked at him in surprise. "No?"

"No." He picked up the phone and dialed room service. "Yes, I'd like a pot of mint tea and a pot of coffee sent up to room 1218 please. Thank you." She looked at him quizzically. "Mint tea to warm you and coffee because I think we may be up a while talking."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Nathalie, I'm a ridiculously patient person and it's hard to frustrate me so you can be stubborn and flip or whatever you need to be but you really aren't going to drive me away."

She stared at him. There was a large part of her that wanted nothing more than to launch herself into his arms and have him make it all better but she couldn't bring herself to let go enough to do that. Instead she sat rooted to her spot, afraid that whatever move she  
made it would be the wrong one.

"When was the last time you let a person take care of you?" he asked.

"I'm a grown woman Nikolas, I don't need to be taken care of."

"Everyone needs to be taken care of at some point Nathalie. I've seen you – you've taken care of Patrick, of your children, even my sister but who has taken care of you?"

"I'm not some damsel in distress waiting to be rescued by the white knight – I don't believe in fairy tales and if you're looking for a princess you are looking in the wrong direction."

Nikolas gave her a half smile. "Nathalie, among the many reasons that I'm attracted to you is the fact that you don't need me – you don't need to be rescued and so if you're with me it's because you want to be – that is a huge change for me. But wanting to take care of you and rescuing you are not the same thing. Why won't you let me take care of you for tonight?"

Her answer was interrupted by a knock at the door. Nathalie let room service in with the tray of tea and coffee and after signing for it, closed the door behind them. Walking to the tray, she turned to Nikolas. "Tea or coffee?" Walking over to her, he wrapped his arms around her. She stood stiffly, with her arms by her side. He rubbed her back and squeezed her tightly until he felt her resistance begin to melt. Several tears dropped onto his shoulder as she finally let the pain come out. Her arms went around him as she cried silently for several minutes. Nikolas continued to hold her and soothe her. When she finally let go of him, she wiped at her tears in embarrassment.

"Well this is awkward" she said, trying to move away from him.

Nikolas put his hands on either side of her hips. "Don't. Don't do that."

"Do what?" she asked, not quite meeting his eye.

"Be embarrassed about being upset."

"Come on, you have to admit it's a little creepy to be crying over my dead husband in the arms of my boyfriend – gah! Why do I sound like I should be on Desperate Housewives?"

"Is that a television program?"

Nathalie smirked. "You really are out of touch aren't you."

"I am" he nodded solemnly. "Listen, why don't you go get changed and get under the covers and I will bring in some tea and we can hang out in bed."

"We've never spent the night together" she said nervously. "And I mean, I'd like to, I'm sure your arms are a very nice place to wake up in and well, really, hanging out in bed could be fun" she rambled. "But we really can't, I uh, I haven't told Gracie that you're anything more than you're a friend."

Nikolas tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "Your daughter is currently having a sleepover with my sister so she won't know that I've spent the night. I'm not trying to seduce you Nat – I just don't want you to spend the night alone."

Her face softened and exhaled. "Are you sure you don't want to trade me in for a saner model?"

He brushed his lips against hers. "Where would be the fun in that?"

Nathalie walked to the bedroom and changed into a tanktop and shorts. Nikolas knocked on the door before coming in with two cups of mint tea. He put them down on the nightstand and Nathalie pulled back the covers as he stripped down to his boxer shorts. Climbing into bed, he held his arms open to her and she snuggled into them, her back against his smooth skin. He passed a mug to her and wrapping one arm around her, picked up his mug with his free hand. Dropping a kiss on her shoulder, he pulled her a little tighter to him.

"So, um, I hate Carol" she said, breaking the silence.

"Really?" he teased "I hadn't noticed."

She took a drink of the tea, letting the warmth run through her body as the mint soothed her. "I was this close to telling her about her precious cousin and the choice he made but I couldn't do it. But it sure would have wiped that smug look from her face."

"Who knows the actual circumstances about Drew's death?"

"Patrick and me – that's it. There was a story in the paper but somehow it was retracted a few days later. I have no idea how that happened but it allowed his family to go back thinking that he had been the victim of an accident."

"Do you plan on telling your children when they're older?" Nathalie fell strangely silent and Nikolas waited for an answer before touching her arm. "Nat?" She shook her head. Putting his mug down, he reached around her and took hers from her hands. "Nat, what's wrong?"

"How can I tell them?" she asked, swallowing down her tears. "Grace adores her father, thinks he walked on water – how do I take that from her? I don't want her to ever feel like this"

"What does this feel like?" he rubbed her shoulders trying to transfer his calm to her.

"It feels like a lie – I have to remind myself every day – consciously remind myself that Drew loved me and it was a momentary lapse of reason that caused him to throw it all away. And I can no longer tell what's real and what's not."

He stroked her hair. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know what feelings are real and what feelings are imagined. I don't know what I can trust so I trust nothing."

Nikolas swallowed hard. He had known intuitively that trust was an issue for her. She was skittish and danced around revealing too much. It didn't bother him because he was truly patient and knew if he was still long enough she would see that she could trust him. He also knew that he loved her. It wasn't the first blush of love that he had with Emily or the illicit passion that Courtney represented, it was a grown up love. It struck him that falling in love with her wasn't as unexpected as he first thought. Nathalie was exactly where he needed her to be when he was ready to be the man she needed. "Do you trust me?" he asked quietly.

She snuggled in closer to him. "I want to"

"But you don't."

"I don't trust myself" she whispered. "I don't trust myself not to hurt you Nik."

He entwined his fingers with hers. "I trust you – and I'm going to be right here with you."

"Why?"

He kissed the top of her head. "Because you're worth the wait."

xxxxxx

"I don't want anybody else – when I think about you I touch myself" Robin sang as they walked home.

"Are you EVER going to stop singing that?" Patrick asked as the full effects of five Irish car bombs made themselves known.

"Not likely" She began to dance along the pier "I love myself, I want you to love me, When I'm feelin' down, I want you above me, I search myself, I want you to find me, I forget myself, I want you to remind me"

"Please stop singing" he begged.

"But I'm a good singer!" she protested.

"Yes you are but I'm rather drunk at the moment and I feel the hangover coming – you're not helping matters."

Robin giggled and walked behind him, jumping on his back. "My feet are sore – carry me home."

Patrick groaned. "Now? Now you want to be carried?"

"Yup" She slapped his behind. "Giddy up horsie!"

Patrick threw his head back laughing and started to run towards the house. Noah opened the door and was surprised to find Robin being piggy backed by his son. "So, good night then?" he asked smiling.

"I love myself, I want you to love me!" Robin sang again.

Noah put his finger to his lips. "Your baby boy is sound asleep."

"Yeah Robin shhh!" Patrick admonished.

Robin slapped Patrick on the behind. "It's your fault for putting that song in my head"

"Okay I'll leave you two to fight it out or pass out – my money's on the latter. Talk to you both tomorrow" Noah kissed Robin on the cheek and patted Patrick's face before heading out the door.

Patrick turned to Robin. "So now what?"

"Take me to bed or lose me forever!" She tried to jump on him but misjudging the distance landed on the floor. "Oww – that hurt my bummie!"

Patrick bent down and unsteadily picked Robin up in his arms and carried her upstairs. They both went in to Rian's room and kissed him goodnight. Patrick took her by the hand and led her to the bedroom. Robin went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and take off her make up, when she came back, Patrick was passed out cold on the bed.

Bending over, she poked him several times but got no response. She changed into one of his t-shirts and then set about undressing him. She removed his shoes and socks and then with great effort rolled him over so that she could undo his belt. She slid his jeans from him and tossed them to the side. Not quite sober enough to hold him up and remove his t-shirt, she pulled the covers from underneath him and tossed them over him. Climbing into bed, she bussed his lips and then snuck underneath his arm and drifted off in a drunken haze.  
Robin woke with her alarm for her meds and found the bed empty. Padding quietly to the baby's room, she found Rian fast asleep in his crib but no sign of Patrick. As she walked back to the bedroom she noticed the bathroom light was on and slowly pushing the door back saw Patrick curled up in a ball on the floor. Wetting a facecloth, she sat down beside him and pressed it to his forehead.

"Rough night?" she asked quietly.

"I hate the Irish and their silly beers that are thicker than oatmeal. I hate the Irish and their whiskey that tastes so good going down but so  
bad coming back. I hate the Irish."

Robin smiled. "Baby, wasn't your mother Irish?"

"Whatever" he mumbled.

"So that's a no to more Irish car bombs?"

"Shhh! Do not speak the dreaded drink's name. I have only just stopped being sick."

"I'm sorry baby" she put the facecloth on the back of his neck and rubbed his back. "Can I help – do you want some gingerale?"

"There was a time I could hold my liquor"

"Yes and there was a time you were 21 – both of those times are over."

Patrick pried open an eye. "Is that sarcasm? Are you taking pleasure in my pain Dr. Scorpio?"

She held her fingers an inch apart. "Just a wee bit." She kissed his cheek. "But I love you."

"Not helping" he grumbled. "And why aren't you hung over?"

"I may be little but I have the liver of a professional drinker – it's what years in France will do to a girl."

"You're talking too loudly" he complained.

"Are you still feeling queasy?" she asked. He shook his head. "Then let's get you back to bed and I'll get you some crackers and gingerale."

Patrick groaned as Robin helped him to his feet. Leaning heavily on her, she guided him back to bed. Putting all the pillows behind him, she propped him up and tucked him in. She pressed her lips to his forehead. "I'll be right back." Robin flicked on the small plasma television that hung over the dresser and passed him the remote.

He closed his eyes as his head pounded. He made offers to gods, goddesses, sea monkeys – anyone who would take away the war zone inside his head. Robin returned with Tylenol, gingerale and crackers.

"Get these in you" she handed him the pills and a drink.

Patrick took them like a dutiful patient and sank back into the pillows. Robin climbed into bed beside him and soothingly ran her hand over his chest. "Want me to tell you a story?"

"Sure" he croaked, wondering who he needed to speak to about stopping the room from spinning.

She brushed his hair from his face. "Once upon a time, there was a dashing prince"

"God, is this a story about Nikolas?"

"Sensitive much? Just shut up and let me tell my story"

"Fine" he grumbled.

"Once upon a time there was a dashing prince who was soooo handsome that all the women in the kingdom wanted him. Unfortunately, the prince knew that all the women in the kingdom wanted him and his head grew and grew and grew making him nearly insufferable…"

"Is this supposed to be a happy story?"

"Shhh! The prince would often take tours around the village, picking out the prettiest maidens to spend some "special" time in his company. One day while out on a tour, he passed a tower that held a maiden captive. The maiden was pretty enough to have a few suitors try to come and rescue her from her tower but she had lived in the tower for so long and was comfortable in the tower that she was afraid to leave it. Every time a new suitor would try to get her to leave the tower, the fair maiden would do everything she could to send him away including calling the men names or saying mean things."

"I think I've met this maiden" he said, sipping the gingerale. He put his arm around her.

"The maiden was really a big scaredy cat and was afraid that once the suitors broke her free from the tower they would decide they didn't really want her. The maiden saw the dashing prince and felt her knees go to jelly. She decided that was a bad thing and started to throw things out the window at him."

"Poor bastard, he was just trying to get her attention."

Robin smiled and kissed Patrick's chest. "She continued to throw things at him but rather than sending the dashing prince away, he kept coming back. The poor maiden kept falling harder and harder for him every time he showed up. The prince, charming man that he was, would convince the maiden to leave the tower for just a few minutes at a time. She loved being free from the small tower and enjoyed the fresh air and the flowers that the prince would show her but every time he got close she would run back to the tower where she felt safer. The prince, not one to give up on a challenge, would continually push her to stay outside longer. He would do small things for the maiden that would let her know that he too could provide safety. The first time he kissed her, she knew she never wanted to be in the tower again if it meant missing kisses like that."

"So what did the maiden do?" Patrick asked stroking her hair.

"She stood in the doorway between the tower and the outside, unsure if she could truly leave it all behind. But the prince stood at the door and patiently waited for her until finally, she was ready to be free and leave the tower behind."

"What happened to the prince and the maiden?"

"They lived happily ever after."

Patrick kissed the top of her head. "There's only one thing wrong with your story."

"What's that?"

"The maiden wasn't pretty enough; she was the most beautiful maiden the prince had ever seen."

Robin snuggled in closer, pressing her lips against him. They lay in the quiet together, until Rian started to cry. Robin moved from under his arm and went to his room. Having changed his diaper, she brought him back to their bedroom but stopped in the doorway when she saw Patrick sitting up in bed. He had turned the volume up on the television and as Robin followed his gaze, her mouth dropped open.

"Tonight on Witness, disgraced Senate hopeful Bruce Harris tells his story. Join us at 9 pm for this WPCT exclusive."


	133. Chapter 133

Chapter 133

Robin stared, slackjawed, at the screen. Patrick watched her face carefully. "Robin?"

She shook her head and continued to walk to the bed. "Wow - so Bruce is going to be on television - this should be interesting."

Patrick took Rian from her arms. "Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Please don't tell me we're back to this - Robin..."

"Patrick what do you want me to say? He is either going to tell some story that's not true or he's going to talk about how my father kidnapped him, tortured him and nearly killed him. Either way, I'm not sure it's a good thing but there's nothing I can do about it." She walked to her dresser and rifled through the drawers pulling out jeans and a sweater.

"Are you going somewhere? I thought we were kind of spending some quiet time in bed together."

She nodded. "I thought Rian and I could go to the park and play on the swings for a while."

He studied her carefully. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"Nah, you should rest. Why don't you go back to sleep and when Rian and I are done at the park we'll come home and cook some lunch" she said cheerily. Robin changed into her clothes and pulled her hair up in a ponytail. Sitting on the bed, she pulled on her socks and did up her running shoes. She reached over to take Rian and Patrick stared at her. "What?"

"Are you sure you're okay?"

She smiled. "I'm fine. Kiss Rian and we'll see you in a few hours."

"I'm just hungover, I can come with you."

"Patrick, for god's sake, I don't need a babysitter" she said sharply.

Patrick just nodded, making a mental note of her reaction. As part of his ongoing monitoring of her condition he would try to provoke reactions from her to see how quickly and how often they would happen. He had been keeping a record in a notebook and he would add this one as soon as she left. "Okay, have fun" Robin kissed him quickly and headed down the stairs with Rian. As soon as he heard the door close, he got out of bed. Standing up too quickly, he swayed and grabbed hold of the dresser to steady himself. He opened the top drawer and pulled out his little blue notebook. Reaching for a pen, he wrote down the time, date and circumstances around her reaction.He sank back to the bed as he reviewed the notes. Robin's reactions, essentially seizures, were ocurring with greater frequency and she was becoming less aware of them. Patrick exhaled and pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes. It was becoming nearly impossible to avoid surgery for much longer but Patrick was at a loss on how to get her to agree.

Robin fastened Rian into the baby carrier and slung it over her shoulders. She pulled his hat over his ears and started out for the park. She couldn't shake Bruce from her mind. The punishment, the havoc he had brought to her life seemed to far outweigh the crime of having dated him. Holding Rian close to her, she couldn't conceive of what it would have meant if he had been the father of her baby. She began to add up the costs and damages of Bruce - her car accident and resulting brain injury, Rian being born prematurely and having to fight to live, Nathalie finding out her husband committed suicide and the ongoing damage that did, Lulu contracting HIV because she had tried to save her life and how it very nearly pushed her life over the edge, her father, crossing all kinds of lines to deal with his grief and fear over her and Patrick. Robin sank into the swing as she thought of him. He seemed to be paying the biggest price of all for her having dated Bruce.

She pushed off on the swing, her legs gently pumping and Rian gurgling in delight. In many ways Patrick was the most fragile of all of them and yet he continued to be tested by Bruce's impact. She thought back to the day in Greece where she ended things with him. She could practically smell the salt air that had washed over the balcony of her hotel room. Thinking she was being brave and courageous, she had admitted to Patrick that she had feelings for him and unless he was willing to embark on an exclusive relationship with her, they needed to end things. It had been a quiet, drama free break up and she couldn't help but think if she had hung in for a while longer, if she had just been willing to deal with her insecurities none of this would have happened. Rian would have happened because unbeknownst to her she was already pregnant when she got to Greece but none of the other would have. Her and Patrick would have had a simple relationship instead of all the baggage they were carrying with them. She could see the worry on his face and she knew that she put it there. Used to be the one who made people feel better, it was a foreign sensation to be the one who caused problems. She simply could not figure out how to take the worry from him though she desperately wanted to. She had always been the strong one, the safe port in the storm for her friends but now she felt like she was a listing boat, no direction, her anchor stretched to the limit. The breaking point was near, she could feel it and didn't know how to change it.

The cool breeze hit her face and she wanted to go home and burying herself under the covers with Patrick. "What do you think Rian, should we go home and see daddy?" She was about to get off the swing when she saw Stone leaning against a tree, smiling at her. "Go away" she said quietly.

"How are you? Do you miss me?"

Robin shook her head. "I know what you are and you're not real - go away."

"I'm not real but it doesn't mean I don't miss you."

"Leave me alone Stone - just leave me alone."

"Robin - it's okay, I love you no matter what."

She shook her head violently. "You're not here - you're not here"

"Robin? Robin, can you hear me?"

She heard the voice but couldn't pull her eyes away from Stone. It looked so very much like him. He hadn't aged, he was still a beautiful 19 year old boy with spiky black hair and dark pools for eyes. She was hypnotized by his smile and just stared.

"Robin?"

Looking away from Stone Robin found Lulu standing in front of her. "Lulu?"

"Robin are you okay? I've been calling your name for 5 minutes"

"Oh" She looked to the tree and was slightly disappointed that he was gone. Looking back at Lulu, she was surprised to see her holding Rian. "How did you get him?" she asked in confusion.

"He was crying and you were staring off in to space, I thought maybe he needed something. I"m sorry" she said handing him back to her.

She shook her head. "It's fine - is he okay?"

Lulu tickled his chin. "He's fine Robin but are you okay?"

"I'm fine" She kissed the top of Rian's head.

"Are you ready to go home? I could walk you" she offered. Lulu studied Robin's face - it was clear to her that Robin was off balance. She was pale and nervous and her focus was everywhere but on her baby.

"Sorry - what?" Robin said, still distracted.

"Why don't I walk you home? I'm headed that way anyways."

"Okay" Robin said, getting up from the swing. Lulu helped her put Rian back the baby carrier and linked her arm through hers as they walked to the house. The fog seemed to suddenly lift from her head. "How are you doing Lulu?"

"I'm okay" she smiled.

"The meds?"

"I'm getting used to them - I'm less queasy so I think that's a good thing."

Robin smiled. "That is a very good thing."

"I, uh, I found a support group to go to and I thought it was stupid at first but it's turning out to be not so bad."

Robin squeezed her arm. "I went to one as well for a long time."

"You did?" she asked in surprise.

"Lu, it's a process to adjust to this and it made all the difference when I found out that I really wasn't the only one who felt the way I do. I mean, family and friends mean well but they just don't understand."

"Does Patrick understand?"

Robin smiled involuntarily. Her and Patrick had struggled with many issues in their relationship but his acceptance of her HIV had never really been one of them. "He understands it medically. He gets what the meds mean and my viral load and t-cell count but the thing that's hard for anyone who doesn't have it is the fear. They just don't get what it's like to be terrified about passing it to someone else..." Robin's voice trailed off.

"Like what happened with us?"

Robin nodded. "Lulu, my greatest fear, the thing that always held me back in relationships was the fear that I would pass it to someone else, that I would bring this to another life of someone I cared about. That fear is paralyzing. And to know that I gave this to you..that you are sick because of me..." Tears filled Robin's eyes.

Lulu stopped walking and turned to face Robin. "Robin - you have to stop thinking like that. I've been spending a lot of time with Lainey lately and one of things that we talk about is what's in my control and what's not. This wasn't in your control - you couldn't stop this from happening."

"If I hadn't tried to get away from Bruce..." It always came back to Bruce. Robin's blood started to run cold at the thought of him.

"Robin - it's over and we just now have to deal with the results. You've already helped me so much please don't think that you could have changed this - you couldn't have."

Robin smiled a watery smile. "My emotions are a little all over the place" she said apologetically. "I'm sorry."

"I'm the original waterworks these days, I get emotions running free."  
They continued to walk to the house and Lulu accompanied her to the door. "Do you want to come in?" Robin asked.

"I should get going..."

"I'm about to cook some lunch - why don't you stay?"

Lulu shrugged. "Okay."

Patrick came to greet them. "Hey Lu"

"Hey Patrick - I hear you were quite a star at Jake's last night. There's been talk that video exists."

"Video?" he swallowed hard. He looked to Robin. "Did you do this?"

"Not me" she smiled handing Rian to him. "I have to go upstairs and change, I'll be back down in a second."

Patrick watched her go up the stairs before turning back to Lulu. "Well?"

She nodded. "It's as you thought. She was on the swings, staring off into space. Rian was fussing and crying and she didn't hear him at all. I took him out of the carrier and she didn't even notice."

Patrick grimaced. "How long was she like that?"

"Somewhere between five and seven minutes." Patrick blew out his cheeks in frustration. "It's getting worse, isn't it?" she asked.

He nodded. "It is."

"How bad?"

"Bad."

"What are you going to do?"

He shook his head. "I have no idea."


	134. Chapter 134

Chapter 132

Patrick held the bottle to Rian's mouth. "Okay Rian there are few things my father may have told you about hockey that we'll have to correct when we watch the game tonight. When you cheer for an Original Six team - everyone has to have a favourite Original Six team, you cannot cheer for Toronto or Chicago. Stick with the Rangers and you'll be all right."

Robin giggled as she cleared the dishes. "Your father is going to be very upset with you."

"My father holds out hope that every year the Blackhawks are going to make the playoffs and they never do."

"So your dad is an optimist"

"That's one way of putting it - the other way of putting is that he's insane."

"Rian, don't listen to your daddy, your grandpa Noah is plenty sane."

She sat down beside him and rubbed Rian's feet. "What time does the game start?"

"In about half an hour and then at 9, I was thinking we could watch the report on Bruce."

Robin looked up sharply. "What? Why?"

"Because, we should hear what he's saying so that we can prepared for any fallout."

"I'm sure Sonny and Jason have him well coached" she said flatly.

"You don't have to watch it Robin, if it's too upsetting maybe it's best if you don't. I'll watch it and tell you if there's anything you need to know."

Robin slammed her hands down on the table. "For the love of pete Patrick, I do not need to be handled - stop treating me like I'm going to break down." She shot out of her chair and stormed out of the room.

Patrick watched her leave and nuzzled Rian's face. "Oh boy Ri, we are not in a good place right now."

Having paced the floor burping Rian, Patrick settled in to the couch and turned on the hockey game. He heard the bath running and was grateful that Robin was at least doing something relaxing. He was always the go-to guy - if there was a problem requiring a solution, Patrick could usually be counted on to supply the solution. He found equally unnerving and terrifying that he could find no solution for Robin's situation. He knew that surgery was the only option but had no idea how to get from where they were to where they needed to be.  
Checking the clock, Patrick turned the television to the station featuring Bruce's interview. He shifted a sleeping Rian slightly and sank further down into the couch. He hated Bruce and everything he represented. The damage he had inflicted on the people important to Patrick could never be completely fixed. He had left a path of destruction in his wake and no matter what Robert or Sonny had done to him, it would never change what had come before. He felt Robin come into the room before he saw her.

"Is there room enough to cuddle me and your son?" she asked.

Looking over at her, he smiled. Her hair was wet and she was wrapped in her blue flannel robe. He opened his arm. "I always have enough room to cuddle both of you."

Robin sat beside him and curled her legs up underneath her. Patrick closed his arm around her and dropped a kiss on her head. "I don't want to watch this but I do, you know?"

"Me too."

_Good evening. I'm Isabelle Thomas and this is Witness. Three months ago Bruce Harris was on top of the world. A virtual lock for the Senate seat in New York, his war chest was full, his polls were through the roof and he was everywhere. Suddenly, for no apparent reason, Mr. Harris dropped from sight. The Republicans, unable to make contact with him, dropped him from the ballot and named a new candidate in his stead. His own campaign people only received one email from him telling them that he was unable to continue on the campaign and thanked them for their service. Now, for the first time, in a Witness exclusive, Bruce Harris speaks. Bruce, welcome to the program._

Thank you Isabelle, it's a pleasure to be here.

Bruce - how are you?

He smiled. _I'm doing well thank you - much better._

_Much better? So you weren't well?_

He shook his head. _No Isabelle, I wasn't. _

_What happened? You seemed to have it all and then you just disappeared. _

Patrick stared at the screen. "Robert fucking Scorpio happened" he muttered. Robin shot him a look. "What? It's what happened."

Bruce leaned in, striking a sympathetic pose. _You know Isabelle, I did have it all but something in me just snapped. The pressure of the campaign, the effort to meet everyone's needs came at a cost to me. It cost me my mental health. I'm not afraid to say it - I became unhinged._

Wow - that must be hard to admit.

He nodded. _It is but you know mental health issues are important to talk about. We must shine light into this dark corner. _

Robin hissed at the screen. "Only he could take this and turn it around into a positive."

Patrick tightened his grip around her. "Well at least he's not singing about your father or Sonny."

"I suppose" she said tightly.

_Where did you go? What did you do?_

He sighed heavily. _I went to Italy. There is an excellent facility in Torino, in the mountains. I had no cell phone, no blackberry - I was completely cut off from the world and with the help of the good doctors there, I was able to recalibrate my life. Discover what is truly important to me. And while I think I could have made an excellent Senator that just isn't where I belong. _The cost was too high. His voice caught and there was flash through his eyes that was the only sign of what he had endured.  
_The interviewer nodded sympathetically. So what's next for Bruce Harris? Where do you go from here?_

Bruce grinned. _It's hard to say Isabelle. I'm hoping to get into advocacy work, to help others deal with their own mental health issues. I'm working on a book about my experience. I still feel I have a lot to give and I won't rest until I have given back in the ways I feel appropriate._

_Well Bruce, I'm confident you will. Thank you for your candor tonight._

Thank you Isabelle. It's been a pleasure to be here.

Patrick exhaled and flicked off the television. He looked at Robin. "You okay?"

"I want to vomit" she said. "I hate him Patrick, I hate everything he's done."

"I know" he pressed his lips into her hair. "Me too."

"Do you think this is the end? Do you think it's finally over?"

"I don't know - I'd like to think so. Obviously Sonny and his people fed him those lines and probably have him on a short leash. He can't hurt us anymore Robin."

She snuggled in closer to him. "I hope you're right."

"Have you heard from your mom or dad lately?"

"I had a text from my mom that they were still on the island and my dad was healing."

"That's progress, no?"

"I guess." She sighed.

"What's up?"

"I just want our lives back to normal"

Patrick nodded. He couldn't articulate how much he wished things were normal. "What do you want to do?"

"Let's just go to bed and forget all about Bruce Harris."

"Sounds good to me. I'll put Rian down and then you can have all of me for cuddling."

Robin smiled and captured his lips in a tender kiss. "I like the sound of that."

xxxxxx

"I brought bagels" Nathalie said, holding up a bag as Patrick opened the door.

He smiled. "And I have coffee. Come on in."

Once through the door, she kissed him on the cheek. "Your phone call was a nice surprise" she said as she followed him into the kitchen.

He smiled sheepishly. "I meant to call you after karaoke but time always seems to slip away from me."

"Welcome to parenthood." Nathalie looked around. "Where are Rian and Robin?"

"Shopping with Brenda. Something about Rian wearing last year's fashions. I'm not even sure how that's possible considering he wasn't alive last year but whatever." Nathalie giggled as Patrick put a mug in front of her. He slid into the seat across from her. "So how are you?"

"I'm okay" she said quietly.

"Where are your kids?"

Nathalie blushed slightly. "With Nikolas - he promised Gracie she could ride one of the ponies."

Patrick smiled. "So things are going well with Nik?"  
She chewed on her bottom lip. "I guess."

Patrick looked at her in surprise. "You guess? What does that mean? I thought you liked him?"

"I do - a lot."

"Then what's up?"

"He told me he loves me."

Patrick's mouth fell open just a little. "Oh. How do you feel about that?"

That's the problem - I don't feel anything. I'm numb. What I do know is that I like being with him but I'm just afraid I'm not going to able to ever get there - feelings wise."

Patrick put his hand over hers. "Give it time Nat - the numbness fades eventually or so my dad says. You light up around him, you are happy when you're with him even someone as dense as me can see that." Nathalie smirked. "The other night at karaoke, it was the first time I had seen a glimpse of the old you - it was nice to see."

Nathalie took a sip of her coffee. "It's funny, I keep telling Lulu, it's a pace not a race but I seem incapable of taking my own advice"

"None of us can take our own advice" Patrick remarked dryly.

Nathalie tilted her head and studied Patrick's face. The effects of the last few months were etched on his face. Fine lines had appeared around his eyes, his brow seemed to be continually furrowed and he looked exhausted. "So I know you love me and all but I don't think I'm here to talk about me or to gossip over coffee - what's going on?"

He smiled. "You always were one to get straight to the point."

"Well you know, as a lawyer, I don't do fluffy" she teased.

"Due to the lack of a heart?"

"Exactly. Now spill."

Patrick stared into his coffee cup. He had invited Nathalie over because he needed someone to talk to but now that she was here, he was suddenly nervous. He knew Nathalie would tell him the truth and that's what he was afraid of. "It's Robin" he said quietly.

"Ah" Nathalie sat back in her chair. "How bad?"

He licked at his lips. "Bad." Patrick told her about the increasing frequency of her outbursts and silent seizures. He told her about Lulu finding her in the park and her ability to take Rian from the baby carrier without Robin even noticing.

"What are you going to do?"

"What can I do? She's still refusing surgery, convinced she will die if she has it."

"You have a few options P - you can force her to have it."

He shook his head. "Nathalie - I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Nat - she's a doctor - if I have her declared incompetent, even if it's only for a short time...what about the impact on her career?"

Nathalie took a long drink of her coffee. "What about the impact on your career?"

"What do you mean?"

"Patrick, you and I both know that you should be back at work by now. Robin shouldn't require constant superivison and Rian is out of the woods and yet you stay here, at home."

"What's wrong with wanting to stay at home with my family?"

"Nothing but that's not why you're here. Patrick, for as long as I've known you, your career has been hugely important to you. Now no one knows better than I do what having a family can do to change your perspective but it doesn't fundamentally change who you are. You need to work and yet you're here thinking if you can keep all the balls in the air everything will be fine."

"She seems to be okay if I'm here..."

"And how long can you keep that up? P - you cannot bend the universe to your will - you always think you can but it never lasts. And for the moment she's snappping at you and phasing out for a time but what about if she does something to Rian?"

"She would never do that!" he protested.

Nathalie put her hand on his. "I know that Robin would never consciously do that but by your own admission, she's not functioning properly and that means Rian is in danger every time she's alone with him. This is not sustainable Patrick."

"How can our relationship survive if I do that to her?"

"How can it survive if you don't?"

Patrick pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. "Nat - what we're talking about...maybe I should give the meds more time."

"Patrick Drake - if this were any other patient..."

"She's not any other patient"

"But if she were..."

"I'd operate" he whispered. They sat in silence, both staring at their coffees. "I wish Drew..." his voice trailed off.

"I know" she said sympathetically. "You know what he would tell you if tried to pull that 'maybe I should give the meds more time' thing?"

He smirked "No, what?"

"He'd tell you to get your head out of your ass."

Patrick laughed. "I can hear him saying that." He sighed. "She'll hate me if I do this."

"But once she's healthy, she'll understand. You have to do this for Rian. Do you think she would hesitate if it were you? You'd have already had the surgery. I'm not saying you have to do this now - have another discussion with her about the surgery but you need a plan b if you can't get her to agree."

"Will you help me? " he asked in a small voice.

"Every step of the way."


	135. Chapter 135

Chapter 135

The house came in to view as Patrick rounded the corner. He had run a solid six miles and was trying to walk off the lactic acid build up. Leaning on the fire hydrant, he pulled his leg up, stretching it out. His conversation with Nathalie had echoed in his head for more than a day and had led to at least one sleepless night. She was right, he knew that. Surgery wasn't going to be avoidable for much longer and neither was the conversation he needed to have with Robin. He had tried twice after she had come home from her shopping excursion with Brenda but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He had never thought he was a coward but he was so afraid of losing Robin, so afraid of doing something that they could not come back from that he continued to avoid what was nescessary. Dumping the remainder of his water bottle over his head to cool off, he walked up the driveway.

He had just put his key in the door when it flew open. Robin's hair was in a ponytail and she was wearing a tight blue t-shirt and battered jeans. "Hi" she said brightly.

"Hi" he replied, a smile forming at the corner of his mouth.

Robin reached her hand behind his head and pulled him into a kiss, her tongue darting in and out of his mouth. Running his hands along her shoulders, he walked through door and pushed her up against the wall, deepening the kiss. Robin grabbed hold of the waistband of his shorts, pulling him against her. Gasping for air, he finally broke the kiss. "Wow" he said "That's quite the greeting." He stroked her cheek with his thumb. "I was only gone for an hour."

"I know" she said, running her hands along his sides. "But I've got the chicken marinating for tonight, I've cleaned up the kitchen and Rian is sound asleep. By my calculations, we have an hour before anyone will need us for anything."

Patrick raised an eyebrow. "And how you would like to spend this golden hour? Doing Sudoku puzzles?"

"Funny guy - I've already done two. I had something else in mind" She trailed her hand across his stomach, sending shivers through his body. "Unless of course you're too tired from your run..."

Patrick licked his lips. "I think my stamina is pretty good."

"Care to put that to the test?"

"Why?" he teased, lowering her head and nipping at the skin on her neck. "Think you're up to it?"

She let her hand graze across the front of his shorts. "Think you might be?"

"I'm kind of sweaty" he protested weakly as she ran her hands under his shirt.

"It'll make the shower after very worthwhile." Grabbing hold of his t-shirt, she pulled him closer to her. Patrick paused for just a moment before lifting her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he crashed his mouth on to hers. Robin parted her lips, hotly returning his kiss. He pressed his hips into her as he suckled on her earlobe. Tilting her head to give him greater access, Robin ran her hands through his hair, desperate to touch him. He could feel her heat against him and it only made his arousal grow. Still in the entrance, pushed up agains the wall, Patrick traced the outline of her breasts through her tight t-shirt. Shuddering at the lightness of his touch, Robin arched forward from the wall, pushing her breasts further into his hands. He palmed them, letting them fall heavy in his hands. Impatient to touch his skin, Robin pulled at the back of his shirt, trying to pull it over his head. Laughing as the shirt became stuck on his head, he relcutantly let go of her, letting her slide down the wall. He pulled the shirt the rest of the way over his head. Robin bit her bottom lip. The sight of his body still set her senses reeling. Taking him by the hand, she led him from the entrance into the house.

Patrick stopped to move up the stairs but Robin just shook her head. "We might wake up our son." Still holding his hand, she led him to the living room and pushed him gently on to the couch.

"You're a little bossy" he teased.

"You have no idea" she said as she straddled him on the couch. Reaching up, Patrick pulled the elastic from her hair, letting it cascade over her shoulders. He ran his fingers through it, delighting in the silky sensation against his skin. Robin smiled seductively as her mouth hovered over his, nipping at his lips. Snaking his hands through her hair, he tried to bring her closer to him but she resisted, instead dipping her head to his chest. His body quivered as he felt her breath on his skin, her lips leaving wet kisses across his chest. He ran his hands down her back, slipping them underneath and undoing her bra. Robin groaned as her puckering nipples were set free. He pulled the shirt over her head and tossed it and her bra to the side.

Robin sat up, allowing him to take her all in. Patrick found his hand slightly shaky as he reached up to touch her breast. Her body trembled in anticipation of his touch but she waited until he slowly closed his hands over her breasts. Kneading them gently, Patrick closed his eyes as he reveled in touching her. Robin trailed her hands down his torso, brushing them again against the front of his shorts. He jerked at her touch. His arousal was throbbing and dying to be touched. She continued to tease him through his shorts making everything go hazy in front of him. "Robin" he hissed.

Moving away from his touch, Robin kissed her way down his torso, nipping his skin near his hips. She grazed her lips over the bulge in his pants causing him to raise his hips from the couch. Patrick's breath shortened as he tried to concentrate on something other than the feel of her lips against him. Sliding a hand up the leg of his shorts, she traced her fingers along his length. "Fuck" was all Patrick could say. Sliding off of him, Robin stood up and pulled a condom from her pocket placing it on the coffee table. She dropped her jeans and Patrick hardened even further as he saw the damp patch on her red panties. Reaching out, he cupped her apex, thumbing her clit through the undewear. Robin threw her head back and moaned. Spreading her legs a little further apart she allowed Patrick to slip a finger inside her panties. He teasingly traced the outline of her folds, putting just the tip of his finger inside. He smiled seductively as he felt her clench around him. His hand went inside his own shorts, taking hold of his erection.

Robin stepped out her panties and moved back to the couch. She pulled his shorts down his legs and kissed her way up his thighs and his continued to stroke his length. She pushed his hand out of the way and took him with her hands. "Mine" she growled. Reaching for the condom, she sheathed him and then closed her mouth around him, her tongue flicking at his sensitive head. "Jesus Robin" He felt himself tightening knowing he wouldn't be able to hold out for much longer. "Robin, baby" he said huskily. "I need to be inside you"

She licked her lips and moving up, slowly lowered herself on him. Patrick couldn't take his eyes from the sight of him entering her, his body began to shake. Robin set an agonizingly languid pace, running her fingers over his skin, pressing her lips against his neck. Breathing in her heady scent pushed him to the edge. His mouth went in search of hers while he grabbed hold of her hips, thrusting harder. Every nerve ending in Robin's body was on fire under his touch . He reached a hand between her legs and moved his thumb in a circle over her clit, heightening the sensation. "Oh god Patrick" she cried. Patrick stilled for a brief second until his body slammed up against hers, his orgasm tearing through his body. Robin followed him over the edge, biting his neck to keep from crying out as her body twitched and trembled. She collapsed against him panting.

Neither said anything as they lay tangled up in each other. Patrick stroked her hair, feeling her chest rise and fall against his. It was in moments like this he was unable to think of anything other than just being with her. There was no surgery, no fear, no worries about crazy ex-boyfriends, it was just the two of them awash in love. He kissed the top of her head. "I love you Robin."

"Mmm" she said sleepily. "I love you more."

xxxxx

Nikolas stared at the financial report in front of him. It was the third time he tried to read it but the numbers swam in front of him. There were aspects of running the Cassidine empire that he loved but reviewing quartely statements by business line was not one of them. He had left a message with Nathalie asking if she would join him for lunch but he hadn't heard back from her. He shook his head as he thought about how much of his head space she occupied. She had no expectations of him. He knew that she was carrying some deep wounds around with her but her insistence on dealing with them on her own only made him want her more. Where normally he would rush to do everything he could for her, solve all her problems as he did for both Emily and Courtney, he found there were great rewards for his patience - not the least of which was that she was becoming a partner, an equal. That was something he had craved his entire life and now that he seemed to be close to having it, he didn't want to do anything to ruin it.

He leaned back further in his chair thinking about her. He loved the way her hazel eyes seemed to see through him. She wasn't the slightest bit impressed with his title, his money or his family name and she wasn't afraid to make fun of him. Turning in his chair to look at the window, he was reminded once again that there was little point in having the best view of Port Charles, as his office in the hospital afforded him, if he had no one to share it with. He heard his door open. "Alissa, I'm not done with these reports, so unless you're here to tell me I don't need to read them, I'll need some more time."

"I don't know who Alissa is but I think I can provide a better distraction than she can."

Nikolas spun around in his chair and grinned as he saw Nathalie by the door. She closed the door behind her and locked it. "Hi" he said cautiously, noticing the glint in her eyes.

"Hi" she said walking towards him.

Nikolas felt his throat tighten slightly. Nathalie was wearing a black pinstripe skirt and a crisp white blouse with french cuffs. Staring at her appreciatively he licked his lips unconsciously as he took in the three inch black pumps. The shoes only accentuated her lean legs leading to the curve of her hips. "You...you look nice"

Nathalie positioned herself between the desk and his chair, spreading her legs slightly. "I've locked your door" she said huskily. She leaned in, leaving a wet kiss on his neck.

"I can see that" he swallowed. "Dare I ask why?"

She pulled his chair closer. "We need to celebrate."

"We do?" He found it difficult to concentrate as he was enveloped in her perfume. She traced small circles with her tongue on the sensitive skin between his ear and jaw.

She nodded. "I have a job and I found a house to rent."

Nikolas sat up straight in his chair. "That's great - tell me everything"

She pushed him back in his chair. "Talking later, celebrating now." Hiking up her skirt, she rested her foot against the arm of his chair. Nikolas ran his hand along her smooth leg. He continued up her thigh, the feel of his fingers sending electric shocks through her body. Nikolas stopped as he reached the top of her thigh and he brushed against her sex.

"You're not...you don't have any panties"

She hiked her skirt up further, revealing her stay up stockings and no underwear. "No I'm not" she smiled seductively.

Nikolas closed his eyes before standing up from his chair and pushing her back on the desk. He teasingly touched her lips, feeling her twitch against his touch before slipping a finger inside. Nathalie let out a soft moan. "You're so wet" he said, licking at her mouth.

"You do this to me all the time" she said. She ran her hands under his jacket and over his chest. Nikolas fingered the buttons on her blouse but frustrated at not getting them open, he yanked on her blouse sending the buttons flying. He buried his head between her breasts, his lips sucking hungrily on her skin. Nathalie tossed her head back, leaving her throat open to him. Lifting his head, Nikolas assaulted her throat first with his tongue and then with her lips. Nathalie moaned and began to move her hips up against his, feeling his arousal poking her through his pants. Sitting up, Nathalie pushed him back to his chair.

"What?" he said, panting.

"This is my celebration" she said, dropping to her knees. She fumbled with his belt buckle finally succeeding it getting it open. She gently massaged him through his pants causing him to hiss. Unzipping his pants, he sighed as his erection was sprung free. Nathalie took it in her hands, kissing the tip. Nikolas leaned back in the chair as the heat from her mouth surrounded him. She ran her tongue along his underside while her hand continued to work his length. He watched her in lusty amazement. She was a sexually confident woman and was never afraid to show him how much. His legs parted involuntarily as she continued to move her mouth along him. Needing to touch her, he reached down and slipped a hand inside her bra. Kneading her breast, he felt her jerk as he tugged on her nipple. Her hands continued to move in twisting motions up and down his shaft. The sensation made it nearly impossible for him to speak. His erection was throbbing painfully and he was overcome with the desire to be inside her. Reaching down, he pulled her up to him smiling as she continued to hold on to him. He pushed her skirt over her hips as she sat back on the desk. Nathalie reached into her bra and pulled out a condom and handed it to him.

"You think of everything" he said, tearing open the packet.

"I would never pass up the chance to feel you deep inside me."

Nikolas wondered briefly if it was possible to orgasm just from her voice. Finally sheathed, he pushed hard inside her, all pretense of gentlesness gone. Nathalie lay back on the desk, slinging her legs over his shoudlers. Nikolas leaned forward, pushing further inside her. He kissed her shoulder, her collarbone, nuzzling the hollow of her neck. She bucked as he moved his hand between them and grazed against her clit. "Fuck Nik" she exhaled. He tried to hold back, wanting to pleasure her first but the feel of her tightening around him was more than he could take. He buried his head against her shoulder, saying her name over and over again as his orgasm sent him reeling. Feeling him thrust deeply inside of her, the weight of his body against hers sent Nathalie over the edge as release seemed to rip through her.

They both collapsed on the desk, breathless. Having regained his senses, Nikolas pulled out of her and stood up. Disposing of the condom, he pulled his pants up and collapsed back into the chair. Nathalie sat up slowly and pulled her skirt down over her hips. He opened his arms and she sat on his lap, resting her head against his shoulder. He took off his jacket and wrapped it around her. "You're amazing" he whispered, kissing her forehead.

"You too" she said.

"Tell me about the job and the house"

She intertwined her fingers with his, pressing her lips against his neck. "It's a cute house near the Elm Street pier. It has three bedrooms, a gourmet kitchen and an enormous backyard. Grace loves it."

"That's great - when do you move in?"

"Next month" she said sleepily.

"And the job?"

She sighed happily. "It's a great job - Director of Corporate Responsibilty. Helping the company develop a corporate giving program and making sure they don't do damage to the environment etc with the subsidiaries."

He stroked her hair, his heart feeling full that she was putting down roots in Port Charles. "What company?"

"Jax Industries - I was hired by the owner - Jasper Jax"

Nikolas felt the bile rise in his throat.


	136. Chapter 136

Chapter 136

Nikolas' hand dropped from her hair. "Jax Industries?" he said hoarsely.

Sensing the sudden change in mood, Nathalie looked at him inquisitively. "Yeah. Is something wrong?"

"No" he covered. "I have a few jobs like that available in my companies - why don't you work for me?"

Nathalie slid from his lap and leaned up against the desk. "Because I'm sleeping with you - Nik, is there something I should know?"  
"I guess I just wish I knew that you were looking for that, I could have helped you."

She tilted her head to the side, studying his face. "I didn't know I was looking for that. I met Jax yesterday and he told me about the position, I interviewed with him this morning and he made me the offer."

"You, you met him yesterday - where did you meet him?" Nikolas licked at his lips nervously.

"I met him at the MetroCourt, I was having lunch - why?"

Nikolas' head was swimming. He hadn't conceived of the idea that she would get a job with Jax of all people and now it had knocked him completely off balance. He didn't want to share her with Jax in any way. Recognizing that it was a selfish position did nothing to change it for him. "Don't work for him, come work for me."

Nathalie pulled his jacket closer around her. "What is going on?"

"Nothing"

"You understand I didn't believe you the first two times you gave me that answer. Obviously the idea of me working for Jax is upsetting to you - care to tell me why?"

Nikolas blew out his cheeks. "We have a complicated history."

"I can see that - are you going to tell me about it or am I going to have to guess?"

He raised his hands. "I don't want you working for him."

She arched her eyebrow. "Pardon me?"

"I own a ton of companies, I'll find you a job"

"Nikolas, I don't want you finding me a job, I want to work the job I was just offered." She tucked her hair behind her ear. "If you would just tell me what the issue is, perhaps I can put your mind at ease - otherwise this is becoming an incredibly irrational conversation."

He stared at the floor. Nathalie was right, the conversation was irrational and he was about to raise the bar. Born to privilege and power, Nikolas was not used to being insecure. In fact he had rarely experienced it - powerlessness yes but insecurity was a completely new experience. "She was his wife" he said in a small voice.

"Who was his wife?"

"Courtney. Courtney was married to Jax when we started our affair."

Nathalie exhaled. "Okay. But I'm still not seeing the issue."

"Does he know we're dating?"

Sitting further back on the desk, Nathalie searched his face. "Nik, honestly, it never came up. We talked about my experience and what type of vision I had for the position." She reached for his hand. "It was purely a business discussion."

"Do you find him charming?"

"There is no way for me to answer that - if I say yes, you'll get your back up and if I say no, you will choose not to believe me. Can you tell me what your concern is?"

"When he finds out that we're dating, he's going to pursue you" he said quickly.

Nathalie furrowed her brow. She could feel Nikolas' hand tremble slightly in her own, she gripped it tighter. "Okay, first of all, it's none of his business who I'm dating and second of all, he could pursue me all he wants - you're the only man I want."

Nikolas smiled weakly. "That's kind but it won't matter - he'll wear you down, he'll pull out all the stops and make himself irresistable and then satisfied that you're weakening, he'll start an affair with you."

"You're kind of cute when you're crazy." She smiled. "Let me explain this to you Nik, an affair takes two people - one person can woo and seduce all they want, if the other person isn't interested then there is nothing that's going to happen. I'm not interested in Jasper Jax other than for the job he's offering me."

"Don't work for him, I don't want you to have an affair."

Nathalie dropped his hand. "You really must not think very highly of me. I've just told you in all the ways that I can that I'm not interested in him, I'm interested in you - we have a relationship, jesus Nik, we just had sex on your desk. He cannot make me have an affair with him. Did you make Courtney sleep with you or did she do so willingly?"

Nikolas sighed. "Willingly."

"Then she wanted to be with you - she chose to break her marriage vows. This isn't my first rodeo Nikolas. I'm not some dewy eyed ingenue who's going to be impressed with the flash and dash of a CEO - I've seen it a million times before and if anything I'm bored by it. This is a good job and I will be really good at it - Jax is irrelevant."

"I just...you can't work for him."

Nathalie stood up. "I can't work for him? Can't. Who the hell do you think you are?"

"I can find you another job Nat - it's not a problem."

"It's a problem for me" she snapped. "I don't want your hand outs - I don't want my boyfriend finding me a job - I'm a highly educated woman with a bucket full of work experience - quite frankly I don't need you to find a job for me. What I do need is for you to trust me but that seems to be an issue."

"I don't trust Jax"

"Do you trust me?" she asked slowly.

"It's not about that" he said. "It's..."

She cut him off. "You're avoiding the question so obviously you don't trust me." She shrugged off his jacket. "And if you can't or don't trust me, we have no business being together." She dropped his jacket in his lap. "When you've figured out whether or not we have trust, call me." Nathalie turned on her heel and stormed out of the office. Nikolas closed his eyes and brought his jacket to his nose. The soft scent of her perfume invaded his nostrils and he sighed. He trusted her but he didn't trust the universe and had long believed there would be some kind of karmic payback for his affair with Courtney. He just didn't want it to be Nathalie.

xxxxxxx

Robin cradled Rian in her arms as he sucked hungrily on the bottle. "That's a good boy" she said soothingly. "You're such a good eater - you're going to bust out of your clothes soon."

Walking into the kitchen, Patrick kissed the top of her head. "Morning" he said.

"Hi" she smiled. "You slept well last night"

He poured fresh coffee into his mug. "Well someone wore me out - I needed to sleep to recover" he winked at her. He sat down beside her at the table and rubbed Rian's hand in his own. "Hey my man." Leaning back in his chair, he studied Robin. "How are you feeling today?" he asked.

"Fine" she said absently. "Don't I look fine?"

"You always look great" he said. His stomach dropped as he edged his way closer to the conversation he had been avoiding. "I think" he started. His mouth was suddenly dry and his breathing was becoming shallow. He took a long sip of his coffee before starting again. "I think it's time for us to talk about the surgery."

Robin looked up at him and stared. "What? Why? Patrick I've been better over the last few weeks. The meds are working."

He shook his head. "You haven't been better Robin, you've been worse. The fact that you no longer remember the incidents is a huge indicator that your condition is deteroriating and you need surgery."

"I can't have it" she whispered. "I'll die. And if I don't die, I could be left with permanent damage."

Leaning forward Patrick stroked her arm. "You're not going to die" he said reassuringly. "My dad will make sure of it."

"Your dad can't guarantee that - no one can" she said sharply.

Patrick sighed. "You're right, there are no guarantees except one - if you don't have the surgery, your condition will worsen and you will become a danger to yourself."

"Why are you pushing so hard for me to have it?" Patrick could see the panic in her eyes.

"Why are you pushing so hard not to?"

"Because I'm going to die - unless of course, that's what you want - tired of me already?"

Patrick fell back against his chair like he had been slapped. "You think I want you to die?"

"Maybe you do - it would leave you free to be a playboy again - maybe domestic life isn't for you."

Taking a deep breath, Patrick paused to remind himself that while it was Robin's voice, it wasn't actually Robin speaking. The Robin he loved, buried under all the damaged brain tissue, would never think those things, let alone say them. "I love our life" he said simply.

"Right - which is why you want your dad to lobotomize me"

"Robin, it's not a lobotomy and you know that. It's a procedure that's as minimally invasive as we can get it for neurosurgery - one hour, max and you're out."

"I'm not having the surgery."

"You have to have it." He sighed and pulled the notebook from his pocket. He tossed it on the table.

Robin picked it up and flipped through it. "What's this?" she asked suspiciously.

"I've been logging your seizures and incidents. If you look through that you will see that they've been increasing. Robin" he said quietly. "the researcher in you would recognize this as evidence of a pattern."

"You've been keeping a book on me?" She was incredulous.

"I had to - you're getting worse."

"You like me sick"

"You know what? I really, really don't. You are most attractive to me when you're healthy and strong." He regretted his choice of words instantly.

"I guess we better hope I never develop AIDS then because nothing says unhealthy and weak like a deficient immune system"

"That's not what I meant and you know it"

As their voices increased in volume, Rian began to fuss in Robin's arms. "Look at what you're doing" she hissed. "Not content to upset me, now you're upsetting our son."

Patrick stood up and shoved his hands into his pockets. "I'm not trying to upset either of you but Robin - you flying off the handle only proves my point. If we could do this surgery awake we would but we can't. You just need to trust me that you're not going to die."

"Trust you? You have got to be kidding me?" Rian began to screech. Robin paced the floor, bouncing him in her arms. "Trust you on this - why would I trust you?"

"Because I love you" he said simply.

"For whatever that's worth."

"It's worth a lot and you know it!" he snapped. "I will not stand by and let you throw away our life - our life Robin - you are not on your own holed up in some Parisien hovel - there is me and there is Rian and we have a say. We are all connected now and you WILL have the surgery."

"You are not the boss of me - you don't get to make decisions for me!!"

"I bloody well am the boss of you when you are like this - you are out of control Robin"

"Fuck you" she spat

"Fuck you too" he spat back. He was tired of being understanding, of being patient. It was taking every ounce of his self control not to pick Robin up, throw her over his shoulder and take her to the hospital, not stopping until she was in the OR and under anesthetic.  
"The meds are working" she insisted.

"No they aren't"

"Well find another option because I AM NOT HAVING SURGERY!!"

"Hey guys - you'll never believe it but Bruce the asshole is on Good Morning Port Charles" Both Robin and Patrick spun around to see Brenda standing in the kitchen doorway. "Whoa - yikes - you guys fighting?"

"No" Robin said

"Yes" Patrick replied. He ran his hands through his hair.

"Bruce is on television?" Robin asked, her mood suddenly changing.

Brenda nodded silently, looking from Patrick to Robin. "Yeah - they're going to interview him in about 10 minutes"

"I'm going to put Rian down and then I'm going to watch the interview."

"Do you think you need to see it?" he asked.

"What? You want to police my television choices too?"

"Fine - watch whatever the hell you want - I don't care." Robin stormed up the stairs.

"So I guess you're kind of sorry that I have a key" Brenda said quietly.

"On the list of things I'm sorry about at the moment, it doesn't even rank. Coffee?"

"Sure. What were you guys fighting about?"

"What do we fight about - surgery. She needs it and she won't have it."

"Are there no other options?"

He shook his head. "The success rate on this surgery is 96. She isn't going to die but unless I can convince her of it there's no moving forward."

"And you think yelling at her is helping your case?"

Patrick shot her a look as he passed her a mug. "Well gee Brenda, I hadn't thought of having a quiet, rational discussion with her."

"Point taken. Would it help if I spoke with her?"

"It might but I doubt it." He sank to his chair. Brenda couldn't get over how old he suddenly looked. "Our life remains in limbo until she does this."

Brenda squeezed his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Me too. I have another option to force her into surgery but I don't have the courage to do it."

"What is it?"

"Declare her mentally incompetent."

Brenda sucked in a breath. "Ouch."

He nodded. "Yeah" He cradled his head in his hands. "I called her father yesterday to see if he could talk some sense in to her..."

"What did Robert say?"

"Not much. I spoke with Anna - apparently Robert is still struggling with what he did and with what Bruce did and he's a bit of a mess."

"Sounds like the Scorpios are in a tough spot."

"How can one person bring this much destruction Brenda? You know, if I hadn't been so juvenile - if I had given into the feelings I had for her long before we go to Greece none of this would have happened. She broke up with me in Greece because I wouldn't committ to her. The irony was, I wanted to - I remember being on the balcony with her just willing myself to open my mouth and tell her that she mattered to me, that I needed her and only her but I was a coward."

Brenda sighed. "Patrick, none of this is your fault or Robin's fault. Bruce is a psycho who set out to ruin her life in some twisted belief that she would love him for it. I really think that he thought if he broke her, then she would be dependent on him."

"Isn't that what I'm doing now?" he asked in exasperation.

"No" she said firmly. "You are trying to get her to stand on her own two feet - you are trying to get her to be who she is."

"I'm not sure how much longer I can do this Brenda - I love her but this...I would sooner blow up our relationship if it meant she would get healthy."

"Let me see what I can do - I will do anything for her and to have her healthy."

He smiled gratefully. "Thanks Brenda - you're freakishly weird but a good..." The words died on Patrick's lips as he heard a gunshot echo from upstairs


	137. Chapter 137

Chapter 137

Patrick scrambled from his chair and ran up the stairs. In his rush, he tripped over his own feet and groaned as his body crashed against the hard wooden stairs. Reaching the top of the stairs, he jumped back as he heard a second shot ring out. Brenda ran into the back of him. Patrick looked from Rian's room to his bedroom unsure of what to do next.

Brenda squeezed his hand. "I'll go check on Rian - you go look in at our girl."

His hands shook as he closed them around the doorknob. He closed his eyes as he slowly pushed the door open, the smell of gunpowder invaded his nostrils. Terror gripped him as he pried his eyes open, afraid of what he'd fine. "Please God" he said silently. Finally opening his eyes, they settled on Robin, sitting on the edge of the bed with the gun in her lap. The plasma television smoked from where Robin had shot it. "Robin" he said slowly.

She looked up. "Patrick?"

"Sweetie, give me the gun" he said gently as he entered the room.

"Gun?" she asked.

His breath shortened as he continued to walk towards her. "Robin, you're holding a gun" he said quietly. "Pass it to me"

Robin looked down in her lap and saw a small black pistol. She began to breathe rapidly as it dawned on her that she had no recollection of having a gun. Her hands cradling the gun began to shake. "Patrick, why do I have a gun?"

"I don't know baby" he said. Reaching into her lap, he took the gun from her hands and placed it on the dresser. Bending down in front of her, he ran his hands over her face, head and chest. "Are you okay? You're not hurt?"

She shook her head. "I don't think so" Looking past him, she saw the smoke billowing from the television. "Did I shoot the t.v.?"

He nodded, pulling her into his arms. "I think so." They both shook as they held onto each other.

"Is Rian okay?" Robin asked into his shoulder.

"Brenda's got him."

"Brenda?" Robin pulled back. "When did Brenda get here?"

Patrick's eyes narrowed. "She came about 10 minutes ago."

"Why didn't you tell me she was here?"

Patrick ran his hand along her cheek. "Robin, what is the last thing you remember?"

"I was feeding Rian and then I brought him up to change him and put him down for his morning nap."

"We fought - we had a huge argument - do you remember?"

She shook her head, her eyes widening. "What did we fight about? Why don't I remember?"

He rubbed her arm. "It's okay Robin -but your condition is getting worse."

Robin fell silent and just stared in front of her. The room was awash in white light and she could make out Patrick's outline but no details of his features. The only sound she could hear was her breathing. She began to shiver as the heat from the light diminished. Looking around the room, she furrowed her brow.

"Where's Rian?" she asked.

Patrick bit back his fear. "Brenda's got him"

"Brenda? When did she get here?"

"You just asked me that."

"I did?" Robin's face registered equal parts of confusion and fear.

"Okay - we need to go to the hospital and have you checked out."

"But no surgery right? You're not going to let them operate?"

Patrick smiled kindly. "No baby. I'm not going to let them operate." He stood up and pulled her to her feet. "Can you change into your jeans and I'll check on Rian?" She nodded. Patrick kissed her forehead. "I'll be right back." Before exiting the room Patrick pocketed the gun. Stopping at the hall closet, he reached for the top shelf and buried it under a pile of towels. He pushed open the door to Rian's room and gave a small smile at Brenda sitting in the rocking chair reading a story to his son. "Hey" he said softly.

Brenda looked up, stroking Rian's head. "Hey. And?"

"She's not hurt but this can't wait any longer - I need to get her to the hospital. Can you come with us? I think she'll be calmer if she's got you and Rian."

"Of course. I'll get him ready"

He nodded. "Thanks."

"Hey Patrick?"

"Yeah?"

"It's going to be okay."

"I hope so."

Patrick walked back into the bedroom and pulled a fresh t-shirt over his head while Robin brushed her teeth. Picking up the phone, he called his father and explained the situation. He had been relatively calm until he heard his father's voice. There was something about his reassurances, his promise to take care of both of them that caused his throat to thicken and his eyes to well. Hanging up, he sank to the bed and put his head in his hands. For the first time in a long time he wished his mother was with him.

Robin came out of the bathroom pulling her hair into a ponytail. "I'm ready" His paleness stopped her cold. "Are you...are you okay"

Patrick took a deep breath. "Yup, I'm all good." He smiled and held out his hand. "Shall we? Brenda and Rian are going to come with us and my dad's going to meet us in Radiology."

"Okay" she said slipping her hand into his.

Brenda and Rian waited for them downstairs and they all walked silently to the car. Robin sat in the back with Rian in his car seat and Brenda sat in the passenger seat beside Patrick. Robin cooed and played with Rian and while Brenda watched Patrick from the corner of her eye. His hand gripped the gear shift and he stared at the road in front of them. She noticed his jaw set tightly and the tendons straining in his neck. She touched his arm lightly and smiled when he turned his head. He gave her a grateful grin as they pulled into the hospital parking lot.

"Why don't I take him and we'll go see if Liz is working " Brenda said, taking Rian from Robin's arms.

"Good idea" Patrick said. "I don't think he'll be too impressed with the MRI machine."

Robin nuzzled Rian's face. "I'll see you soon baby boy. Mommy's just going to have a few tests and then maybe we can go to the park."

"We'll see you in a bit" Brenda said, heading off the Nurses Station while they walked to Radiology.

Noah greeted them in the waiting area. "Well if it is my favourite medical researcher" he said brightly.

"Hi Noah" Robin smiled shyly.

"Ready for me to snap some pics of your brain?"

"So long as you promise to tell me if I look fat in it"

Noah laughed and kissed her on the cheek. "Not a chance. Why don't you get changed into a gown and we'll see you in the room."

"Okay" she squeezed Patrick's hand. He had trouble meeting her eyes.

"I'll see you in a bit" he kissed the top of her head.

Both men watched as Robin disappeared to the change area. Noah turned to his son. "How you holding up sport?" Patrick eyes welled and he shook his head. Aware of the number of his colleagues milling about, Noah took him by the arm and led him to the control room for the MRI. "What aren't you telling me?"

Patrick swallowed. "She fired a gun"

His mouth dropped open. "What? Is anyone hurt?"

"Not from the gun" he said flatly. "Dad - she needs surgery and I can't convince her of it. Nathalie has suggested I declare her incomptent and force the surgery on her."

Noah blew out his cheeks. "Wow."

"I know. I don't want to do it - I'm not courageous enough."

Noah put his hand on his son's arm. "Courage has nothing to do with it Patrick. You love her and you know professionally what doing that would mean for her. It's possible her grants would dry up and beyond GH she could have grave difficulty finding work."

He nodded. "I know. I have another plan."

Noah narrowed his eyes. "What is it?"

"There is some research that indicates putting a patient in a medically induced coma for five days could reset some of the neuro receptors and resolve some of the seizures - because ultimately, the visions, the arguments, the spacing out - they're all seizures."

Noah nodded knowingly. "But son, that research was very limited and there isn't a lot other studies to back that up."

He shrugged. "But Robin doesn't know that."

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "What are you getting at?"

Patrick sighed. "I think I can get her to agree to the coma and then once she's under I'll consent to the surgery."

Noah leaned back into his chair. "Patrick" he swallowed hard. "Patrick you would be flat out lying to her."

"I know" he whispered.

"What you are talking about is the violation of the trust Robin has in you. However sick she is she still trusts you and that is no small thing.

"Are you saying you won't do it?" He stared at his father.

He shook his head. "I'll do it because I believe the coma may actually help. But if you do this - Patrick your relationship with Robin may not survive."

Patrick stared out of the control room window as a technician escorted Robin to the MRI tray and helped her in. He watched as she smiled at the technician and thanked him. Her smile was magic to him. When they first met he saw it so rarely that when it happened it literally lit up the room. He was once so desperate to see it that he teased her until she slapped him. If he had any self awareness then he would have known he was already a goner.

He turned back to his father. "If I don't do this my relationship with Robin will not survive."


	138. Chapter 138

Chapter 138

Nikolas walked in the main room at Wyndermere and sank into the couch. He fingered the bandage over his left eye. His head was throbbing and entire face ached. He touched his lips and flinched at how swollen they were. Leaning back against the cushions he closed his eyes and exhaled.

"Ice pack Mr. Nikolas?" Alfred offered.

"Yes, thanks" he said reaching for it and draping it across his forehead.

Lulu came bounding down the stairs. "Oh no, your poor face" she said standing over him.

"I'm fine" he said wearily. "It was just a little car accident."

"Did you break anything?" she asked, sitting down beside him.

He shook his head gingerly. "Nope - just the car."

"Which car?"

"The TT - I loved that car."

Lulu reached out to touch his forehead but stopped. "Is it..." she was suddenly overcome with shyness. "Is it okay if I touch you?"

Nikolas opened an eye. "Lulu" he said softly. "Of course it's okay - if I flinch it's because I'm a wimp with a low pain threshold, nothing else."

She smiled and placed her hand over the bandage. "Poor Niky. What happened?"

He sighed, exhausted at having already spoken to hospital staff and the police about the accident. "I was on my way to see Nathalie..."

"To explain that you momentarily lost your mind?"

He smiled. "Something like that. Anyway, I was coming to the intersection at Green and O'Connor and this car pulled out of nowhere. I slammed on the brakes but couldn't stop soon enough. I slammed into the back of the SUV and slammed my face against the steering wheel."

"What about the airbag?"

"It didn't deploy." He sat up on the couch. "How bad do I look?"

Lulu smiled broadly. "You look pretty tough."

"That bad, huh?"

"It'll heal - you may want to wear a mask...ooooh! A Phantom of the Opera mask and you have a tux - how great would that be?"

Furrowing his brow painfully, he fixed his sister with a look. "Right because being a Cassidine and a Greek prince doesn't already scream freak - let's add costumes."

"You have no sense of fun" she teased. Nikolas stuck his tongue out at her.

Alfred returned to the room carrying a small tray with two drinks. "A whiskey Mr. Nikolas" he held the tray out "and a cranberry and soda for Miss Lulu"

"Thank you Alfred" Nikolas said, handing Lulu her drink.

"And I've placed a call to Mrs. Walker"

Nikolas looked at him in surprise. "You called Nathalie?"

"I did. When you called as you left the hospital, I thought she would like to know."

He chewed on his swollen bottom lip. "Did you...did you say that I was in a car accident?"

"I did" he asked, somewhat confused. "Should I not have?"

Nikolas shook his head. "No it's fine - Alfred, when she gets here let her come straight through - don't worry about announcing her"

"As you wish" he said leaving the room.

"You really think she's going to come?" Lulu asked.

"I do. And considering I called Alfred about 20 minutes ago" he stood up and looked at his watch. "I expect she'll be coming through the doors..."

"Oh my god Nikolas! Are you okay?" Nathalie ran across the room and threw herself into his arms.

He closed his arms around her. "I'm fine" he said reassuringly. Her entire body trembled as she held onto him tightly. "It's okay Nat" he said softly. "I'm fine - I'm really fine." Unable to speak, Nathalie just held onto him, breathing in his scent. He rubbed her back. "It's okay" he repeated. He could feel her breath steady against his neck.

Keeping hold of him, she slowly pulled back and studied his face. "Hi Lulu" she said, not taking her eyes from him.

"Hey Nat." Lulu got up from the couch. "I uh, I'm going to go check on Spencer." She winked at her brother as she left the room.

Nathalie traced her fingers over his battered face and blew out a small breath. "Poor you" she said softly.

Nikolas closed his hand over hers. "I'm okay" He pulled her onto the couch beside him.

She continued to touch his face. "Is anything broken?"

"No" he said softly. "I was on my way to see you" he added.

Nathalie smiled. "Oh dear"

"I am so sorry about yesterday - I was a complete ass and I want you to know that I trust you - of course I trust you" He trailed his fingers along the back of her neck.

She exhaled and gingerly kissed his lips. "I uh..." her eyes filled with tears. She fisted his shirt. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you" she said breathlessly. "Nik, you have become so important to me..." Tears started to slip from her eyes.

Nikolas wrapped his arms around her and held her closely, kissing the top of her head. "You can't get rid of me that easily. I'm not going anywhere." He admired her because of her strength and toughness but he also admired her in moment like this - moments where she allowed her fragility to show. He took it as a strong indication of how much she trusted him that she showed this side to him at all. He stroked her hair. "Okay?" he asked.

She nodded her head against his chest. "I just...when I heard you were in a car accident..."

"I know. Alfred didn't know and he thought he was doing me a favour"

She smiled. "In the end he did me a favour. I was perhaps a little hasty in my judgement yesterday - I'm not saying I won't take the job but I could have been more understanding."

"And I could have been less...what did Lulu call it? Less off my rocker." He grinned as he felt Nathalie's laugh reverberate against him. "Where are the kids?"

"My mother came to pick them up and take them home with her to Virginia for a week. They were missing their grandparents."

"You didn't want to go with them?"

Nathalie looked up at Nik. "My parents and I have a complicated relationship."

"Ah. So does this mean you can spend the night?" he wiggled his eyebrows.

Lifting her head from his chest, she captured his lips. "If you want me to"  
"I want you to." He cupped her face adn pressed his lips against hers but winced in pain.

Nathalie sat up straight. "Okay, I think you need to get your pain meds into you and lie down."

"But mom" he protested "it's only 8 o'clock."

"We can watch a movie in bed" she offered.

"A dirty movie?"

Nathalie rolled her eyes. "Any movie you want but a dirty movie."

"You're no fun" he said taking her hand and pulling her up from the couch.

"I think you'll find, when you're healed, that I can be a lot of fun."

Nathalie changed into one of his t-shirts while Nikolas stripped down to his boxers. He snuggled up to Nathalie as they settled in to watch "X-Men 3"

"You're a comic book fan?" she asked in surprise.

"Probably ruins that whole cool vibe I have going on, right?"

She kissed his forehead. "I'm not sure how to break this to you..."

"I don't have a whole cool vibe going on?"

Nathalie giggled. "Not so much."

"You have no heart"

She ran her hand over the smooth skin of his shoulders. Nikolas closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. He had been paralyzed by fear when she told him that she would be working for Jax. Despite giving him every assurance that he had nothing to worry about, he pushed her away because she wouldn't give hm what he wanted. It was frankly typical Cassidine behaviour. When she walked out he felt his chest tighten. She had become so much apart of his daily life and because she wasn't impressed with his fortune or his power he lived in fear that she might discover he wasn't enough for her. He had picked up the phone a dozen times to call her but couldn't find the words. After a sleepless night and being berated by Lulu over breakfast he had made plans to go see her after work. He had no idea what he would say only praying that he would find the words to convince her that he trusted her. He did trust her, almost more than any other person in his life outside of his brother and sister. She had no agenda with him and he was grateful for that. "You okay baby?" she asked quietly.

"I am now" he said.

His pain medication took effect and he fell asleep long before the movie ended. He woke up several hours later, his face aching and was stunned to find the bed empty.Reaching for his robe, he went in search of her. He checked the bathroom, the kitchen and the sitting room but couldn't find her. Wearily climbing the stairs, thinking she had left, he walked back to his bedroom. Hearing a voice as he passed Spencer's room, he stopped and pushed the door open. Holding Spencer to her shoulder, Nathalie was pacing the floor singing softly to him. He leaned in the doorway and watched her cradle and comfort his son. He couldn't figure out which was turning him on more, her long lean legs escaping from under his t-shirt or the sight of her loving his child.

"Hey" he said quietly.

Nathalie turned around in shock. "Did we wake you?" He shook his head. "I heard him crying and thought I would get him - it's okay that I came to get him, isn't it?"

Nikolas walked towards her and put his hand on the back of Spencer's head. Leaning in, he nipped at her lips. "It's more than okay." He tucked her hair behind her ear. "I love you Nathalie" Her face furrowed in worry. "What's wrong?"

"I want to say it back Nik - I've come so close but the words just won't come."

He pressed his lips against her forehead. "It's okay. The words will come when you're ready but Nathalie, make no mistake, you show me that you care for me, that I'm important to you in a million ways. That's all I need."


	139. Chapter 139

Chapter 139

Patrick and Robin walked silently to Noah's office. She held his hand, unsure whether she was comforting him or he was comforting her. Robin knew that something was terribly wrong but couldn't remember what it was. She could tell by the way Patrick's shoulders were hunched that he was worried too. Everyone from the technicians to the nurses to Noah were being incredibly kind and patient. From her years working in the hospital she knew people only behaved that way when someone was very ill.

Noah stood up as they entered his office. He smiled kindly at both of them. Aware of what Patrick was planning and knowing his motivation for it did nothing to alter his view that he was watching a car crash in slow motion. "Have a seat" he offered.

"How bad is it?" Robin asked sitting down.

Noah flipped on the light board and held her films up to it. "Robin, the scar tissue has stopped progressing, which is a good thing but both your frontal and temporal lobes are affected. Your recent short term memory loss is quite concerning and I think the time has come to take some more aggressive action."

"I am NOT having surgery" she snapped. Patrick reached for her hand and gently rubbed his thumb along the palm.

"Robin," Noah began softly. "I am not suggesting surgery. There is a study out of Switzerland that has shown tangible results with a medically induced coma"

"Resetting the neuro receptors?" she asked.

"Exactly. It would be for a 5 day period and then when you wake up, we would benchmark it against your results from today."

Patrick stared at her film, trying to take slow, steadying breaths. He knew it was costing his father something to tell Robin only part of the story. But he would pay any price to anyone to have Robin healthy. Like every proud parent, he had taken to carrying a photo of his son in his wallet and when he had a moment of wavering in the control room, during the MRI, he took it out and stared at it. Whatever the outcome was between he and Robin, their son, their warrior baby who had fought for so much already, needed a healthy and happy mother.

"Do you think it will work?" Robin asked looking from Patrick to Noah. She could feel the weight of Patrick's silence.

"I think there's a very good chance it could" Noah said, thinking he hadn't told a lie like this since he had stopped drinking. He rationalized it by telling himself there was a chance that it could work and the surgery would be unnecessary but looking at his son, brow constantly furrowed with dark circles under his eyes, he knew he wouldn't be given the chance to find out if it worked. Patrick would insist upon the surgery almost immediately.

"What do you think?" Robin asked turning to Patrick.

He looked at her and smiled. For a brief moment he wondered if she could see his intent in his eyes. "I think we need to try it. Robin, we are running out of options – you shot a gun at the television this morning."

"I did?" she asked in confusion.

"Don't you remember? That's why we're here." Patrick could feel his chest constrict

"I thought this was a check up" Robin shook her head, trying to clear cob webs.

Noah leaned forward on his desk. "No sweetheart – your condition is deteriorating and that's why we need to take action."

"Where's Rian?" she asked looking around the room.

"Brenda has him" Patrick said evenly, looking at his father.

"Oh, right"

Neither Patrick nor Noah could tell if Robin actually remembered that Brenda had been with them or she was trying to cover. Patrick was more convinced than ever that something had to be done or he would lose Robin forever. She would still be around but the Robin he loved, the woman whose intellect sent shivers down his spine would be gone. He had had enough loss in his life and was unwilling to accept any more when there was still a chance that something could be done.

"So Robin, how do you feel about the coma protocol?" Noah asked.

She pulled at her bottom lip. She thought she wanted to do it but wasn't sure. It was clear that both Noah and Patrick wanted her to agree. Decisions seemed hard to come by for her. It was though the answer was floating around her, agonizingly out of reach. If there was a small chance that it could be stopped then the protocol seemed like a reasonable solution. "I'll do it" she said.

Patrick swallowed thickly and tried to will the tears from his eyes. This was just the beginning but at least they were beginning. "When" his mouth went dry "when would we start?" he asked his father.

"Tonight?" he offered.

"Could I spend some time with Rian and Patrick before we do it?" she asked cautiously.  
"Of course" Noah said reassuringly. "We can do it later tonight after you guys have dinner and hang out for a while."

"Where do I sign?" she asked.

Noah handed her the consent form. He could feel the relief emanating from Patrick. He worried about his son's capacity to handle much more. Patrick always felt the need to take as much on his back as possible, like there was some kind of competition as to who could carry the heavier load but even Atlas shrugged at one point.

Robin looked at Patrick one last time before scribbling her name on the three pages of the consent form. Handing the clipboard back to Noah she sighed. "Now what?"

"We'll run some labs, do the admitting work and then get you to a room."

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked, stroking her hair.

She smiled at him. Patrick continually moved her with his capacity for love. She knew it had been a struggle for him to open up and trust her and she worked consciously every day to ensure that he didn't regret his choice. He gave off a tough and cocky veneer but in actual fact was quite a soft touch. A part of him was forever frozen as the sensitive teenager still wobbly from the death of his mother. "That's okay" she said softly. "Why don't you go find Brenda and Rian and come find my room when I've been admitted."

"You sure?" he asked.

"Absolutely. And you know, you shouldn't be shy about bringing back some take out from Kelly's for dinner" she teased.

"Oh really?" he arched his eyebrow. "A little heart attack on a plate?"

"Go big or go home"

Reaching across the chair, he pressed his lips, hard, against hers. "I'll see you in a few hours."

"Okay" she kissed him back. "I love you Patrick"

"I love you too."

Patrick watched as Robin and Noah had left together. He had always been a bit of a gambler but didn't really have the heart for it. He never bet what he was afraid to lose - Until now.

xxxxxx

Walking into Kelly's, he was pleased to see Nathalie was already waiting for him. She gave him a small wave. "I ordered a coffee for you."

"Thanks – have any whiskey to put in it?" he joked tiredly, sliding into the seat across from her.

"So things have come to a head?"

He nodded. He resisted telling Nathalie about the gun. It wasn't that he didn't trust her with the information but he wanted to protect Robin. There would come a time when she would be healthy again and he wanted to minimize any potential embarrassment to her. She would feel badly enough when she remembered all the things that happened, she didn't need everyone knowing. "They have" he said, taking a sip of the coffee. He was so exhausted he couldn't even taste it any longer.

"What are you going to do?"

"I can't declare her incompetent Nat – it could ruin her career."

"Fair enough" She watched him turn the fork over and over again in his hand. It was clear to her that he was hanging on by a thread. She wanted to support him any way she could because it was no longer a question of if he would crash but when and how hard. "It seems like you have a plan."

He nodded. He told her about the medically induced coma and then how he would consent to surgery on her behalf. "She may hate me when she wakes up – she will likely want to end things with me."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because – Nat – she trusts me. I have promised six ways to Sunday that I will not let the surgery go ahead, except I'm lying and I know I'm lying."

Nathalie reached for his hand. "Patrick, this isn't Robin. There is no way that the woman I met all those months ago and got to know before the accident would ever willingly endanger her own health or refuse surgery if she knew it would help. When that Robin comes back - and she will come back – she will know that you not only did the only thing you could but you did the right thing."

"Hardest thing and the right thing are the same?"

"Something like that."

"I'm betraying her."

Nathalie sighed. "P – only you know what's in your heart. Are you doing this from a place of love?"

Patrick bit his bottom lip and looked up at the ceiling. Everything he had done over the last few months, every decision, every hope had all been from a place of love. He had discovered it was a bottomless well. "Yes."

"Then that's all that matters."

He stared at Nathalie. "But is it enough?"

She squeezed his hand. "It has to be."


	140. Chapter 140

Chapter 140

"So I hear you're going to take the mother of all naps"

Robin looked up from the magazine. "Hey Bren" she said sleepily. "I see you have your hands full"

Brenda walked into the hospital room and placed Rian on the bed with his mother. "Hands full? Do you have any idea what a man magnet this guy is? If I had known I would have been borrowing kids a lot sooner" she teased.

"You're terrible" Robin said. "Isn't she?" she asked Rian. "You're Auntie Bren needs help"

"Auntie Brenda just needs some good sex" Brenda grumbled.

Robin laughed covering his ears. "Don't listen to her Rian - she's a bad, bad girl."

"She tries." Brenda pulled her chair closer. "So - are you weirded out by the coma thing?"

Robin shrugged. "A little but I think I'm sick and it will help. Do you think I'm sick?"

Brenda paused. Patrick had warned her that she was experiencing more and more confusion and that her seizures were lasting longer. Despite the warning, Robin's lack of surety was disconcerting. "I think you're having a bit of a struggle" she offered. "And Patrick thinks this procedure will work, right?"

Robin nodded. "He does. I think it will too."

"Five days, huh? So while you're out of it, can I paint your nails, maybe reshape your brows?"

Robin put a hand to her eyebrows. "What's wrong with the shape of my brows?"

"Nothing, it would just give me something to do - hey! Can I cut your hair?"

"NO!" Robin laughed. "You are not allowed to groom me in anyway."

Brenda pretended to pout. "God, when did you get to be such a stick in the mud?"

Robin tossed her pillow at her. "Hello? I have always been a stick in the mud."

Brenda caught the pillow. "Good point."

Robin stretched out on her stomach holding Rian in a sitting position. "Don't you think he looks like Patrick?"

Brenda tilted her head. "Definitely the cheeks and chin"

"I think he has Patrick's eyes too. He has the most amazing blue eyes."

Brenda's eyebrows shot up. "Robs, Patrick has brown eyes."

She looked over at her friend. "Weren't we talking about Jason?"

Her breath caught slightly in her throat. "No sweets we were talking about Patrick and how Rian has his eyes."

"Rian does have his eyes" she said softly. "And I hope he has his heart."

"I want him to have your heart" Patrick said from the doorway.

Robin grinned. "'Great - like your ego needs the help."

Patrick held up a large bag. "Three bacon cheeseburgers, one order of chili fries, two orders of regular fries and three chocolate milkshakes."

Robin sat up. "Fabulous - what are you and Brenda going to eat"

Patrick rolled his eyes. "Really. You're not as funny as you think you are"

"That's not what you said in bed the other day" she teased.

Brenda leaned over and in a loud stage whisper said. "Frisky, he meant frisky."

"Ah" she tapped her chin. "I always get those two confused."

"Not always" Patrick said, pulling the table over and unpacking the food. "I even went home and got a bottle for our little man"

Robin pulled him by the shirt and bussed his lips. "You're amazing, do you know that?"

Patrick felt like he was going to vomit. "You're the amazing one."

"Oh jesus" Brenda snarked reaching for the french fries. "You're both amazing now move along."

Patrick smiled as he sat down on the bed. He put Rian between his legs and held the bottle to his lips. He sucked on it greedily and looked up at his father as he did so. Robin and Brenda laughed at her attempt to get the entire burger in her mouth. There was an ease to Robin's face that he hadn't seen in a while. She was at her most unguarded when she laughed and he wished he could just freeze the moment. Robin noticed him staring at her and made a face. Patrick laughed in response. It was the first real laugh that he had in several days.

"Why time is Original Hottie coming to uh...send you to la-la land?" Brenda asked, stealing a chili fry.

Patrick groaned. "Must you call him that?"

"I have other names for him but frankly I think you would be way too traumatized if I used them"

He turned to Robin. "When is she going back to Rome?"

"Not until I'm good and ready buster - I'm still not sure about you" Brenda teased.

Robin shrugged. "Not sure - do you know?" she asked Patrick.

He looked at his watch. "Probably in about an hour or so."

Brenda stood up. "Why don't I leave you guys alone for a bit and I'll come back just before..."

Patrick smiled gratefully. "Thanks Brenda."

She kissed Robin on the cheek. "Love you lots."

"Me too"

Brenda pulled the door closed behind her and involuntarily made her way to the hospital chapel.

Robin stared at Patrick and Rian. "So."

"So" he echoed.

"Think we can get a little cuddle time in before I go to sleep?"

Patrick smiled and passed Rian to her. Standing up, he moved the table out of the way. Reaching in to his pocket to pull out his wallet his fingers wrapped around the small bauble in his pocket. The ruby ring had been transferred from pants pocket to pants pocket for several days. He had found the ring nearly a week ago. Out for a run, he had stopped for a water break outside Deslauriers' Jewellers. The ring had been in the window and something about the pear shaped ruby reminded him so much of Robin that he had to buy it. He hadn't really thought much about marriage but seeing the ring was like a lightbulb going off in his head. He had made no plans to propose to her but carried the ring in case inspiration struck. He had toyed briefly with the idea of proposing to her now but knowing the enormous lie he was about to spring on her, he could not, in good faith, bring himself to do it. Letting go of the ring, he pulled his wallet out and slid into bed beside her.

Robin turned on her side and placed Rian between them. Patrick draped his arm across her shoulder and played with her hair. Robin couldn't believe how much a simple touch from him could still send shivers through her. Reaching up she stroked his face. It looked so worried and weary and she wondered if she had put those fine lines there. She hadn't meant to if she did. She liked the way Patrick closed his eyes when she touched him, as if he could feel only her touch. She gently fingered his lips. he parted them slightly and kissed her fingers.

"Are you nervous?"

"Are you?" he asked, his eyes still closed.

"No fair, I asked you first."

Patrick opened his eyes and slowly pushed her bangs from her face. "Five days."

"Five days."

"Do you realize that will be the longest I've been separated from you since we met? How strange is that?"

Robin smiled. "You're a romantic at heart."

"Only where you're concerned."

"So are you and Rian going to sit around shirtless, eating chips, burping and watching hockey?"

Patrick pressed his lips against her forehead. "He's got a lot of gas for one so little."

"Right because of the two of you, he's the gassy one."

"Hey!" Patrick protested. Robin ran her hand along his chest. She liked the feel of his body. "So are you nervous?" he asked quietly.

She shook her head. "I have you and I have Noah and it's not like I'm having surgery or anything. It will be fine."

Patrick's heart tightened at her words. "Robin" his throat became suddenly very dry. He swallowed and started again. "Robin, I wish...I wish I was more eloquent and I could tell you, poetically, how much I love you and what you've brought to my life. If I had ever paid attention in English class I could probably recite one of those stupid Shakespearan sonnets but sadly I was too busy checking out the girls not the Bard." Robin giggled. "I just want you to know that no one, absolutely no one has ever meant as much to me as you do."

Robin lifted her head and studied his face. "It sounds like goodbye" she said quietly.

He shook his head. "Not goodbye - see you later"

"Patrick you brought me back from the shadows and offered me a life that I was sure I would never have. My heart is made so full by you and now, we have a child together" She stroked Rian's cheek. "I have everything that I could possibly want - now I just need to be healthy."

Patrick lowered his head and slowly captured her lips with his. He coaxed her lips apart with his tongue, sweeping it inside her mouth. Snaking her hand around the back of his neck, Robin pulled him closer to her, deepening the kiss. She tasted him over and over again, burning the sensation into her memory. They had just pulled apart when Noah knocked on the door and opened it.

Robin blushed when she saw Noah. "Hi Noah"

"Hi Robin." He held up the i.v. bag. "Are you ready to get started?"

"Is anyone ever?" she asked.

He smiled. "No."

"Then I guess now is as good as time as any." She pressed her lips to Rian's head. "Mommy is going to take a nap Rian but in a few days I'll be back and we'll do all the things we normally do - we'll go to the park, we'll go shopping with Auntie Brenda and we may even let you watch girls with Grandpa Noah and Grandpa Robert."

Noah hooked up the bag. "For the record, I don't girl watch" he teased.

"Why would he? He's the O.H. - he is the watchee not the watcher" Brenda said coming into the room. She walked to Robin and pulled her into a hug. "You have a good nap you hear me? You make your little brain dohickies reset and then hurry back."

"I will. I love you Brenda"

"I love you too" her voice caught and she squeezed her friend one more time before letting her go.

Patrick kissed her again. "What she said"

Robin blew the air out of her lungs. "Time to go to sleep I guess." Brenda took hold of her hand while Patrick kissed the top of her head.

Noah nodded and ran the i.v. Robin was alseep within two minutes and the room fell silent except for her heart and neuro monitors. Patrick held her for several more minutes and kissed her face again before laying her down against the pillow. "Rian and I love you Robin - see you in a couple of days." They all headed out into the hallway.

"Do you have the consent form?" Patrick asked Noah.

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a folded piece of paper and handed it to him. "'Are you sure you want to do this?"

"As sure as I will ever be" he said. "Do you have a pen?" Noah handed one to him and noticed Patrick's hand shake as he took it.

"What are you giving consent for?" Brenda asked.

Patrick sighed. "Surgery"

"What?" she asked incredulously. "Robin doesn't want surgery"

"She may not want it but she needs it. Brenda I am losing her bit by bit and I will NOT have it." His voice shook as he spoke.

"But Patrick - you lied to her."

"I know" he said flatly. "Trust me, I know."

Brenda flinched. "Why are you signing the consent form?"

"Someone has to so that it can be done" Noah said.

"But you don't have Robin's power of attorney" she said.

"Christ don't tell me I have to call Robert, Anna or Mac? Who has her power of attorney?"

"I do."


	141. Chapter 141

Chapter 141

"You?" Patrick asked in surprise. "You have Robin's power of attorney?"

Brenda nodded. "And she has mine – it was an arrangement we came to years ago when she moved to Paris. Neither of us had parents at the time – though hers have come back from the dead – and she trusted me to make medical decisions for her."

Patrick pinched the bridge of his nose. He couldn't believe that in the all discussions that he and Robin had shared about healthcare that making medical decisions for each other had never come up. He thrust the piece of paper at Brenda. "Sign it."

Brenda took a step back. "What? No."

Patrick sighed in exasperation. "Brenda we don't have time – Robin needs the surgery. Sign the damn consent form!" Noah put a hand on Patrick's shoulder and was surprised at just how rigid he was.

"Don't yell at me" she said firmly "Don't you dare yell at me. You're asking me to go behind my best friend's back and consent to something that I in fact know she doesn't want done."

"This isn't about her wants Brenda, it's about her needs. She needs this surgery – did you not see how much she's deteriorating? For god's sake, she talked about my child having Jason's eyes."

"You heard that?"

Patrick put his hands on his hips. "Of course I hear that Brenda – I've heard it all – the raging, the confusion, the conversation with dead boyfriends.."

Noah took Rian from Brenda's arms. "Why don't my grandson and I go find some toys to play with on the Peds floor and you guys can sort this out." He touched Patrick's arm briefly before heading towards the elevator.

"This procedure could make her better" Brenda said.

"Not likely" Patrick replied. "The chances of it working with any long term efficacy are very small."

"But you told her…" Brenda covered her mouth. "Okay, seriously – is there anything you won't lie about?"

Patrick stared at Brenda. "I won't lie about how much I love her, I won't lie about her being the most important person in the world to me – do you think this is easy for me?"

Brenda shrugged. "I don't know .."

Patrick jammed his hand into his pocket and pulled out the engagement ring. "See this" he held it up to her. "I want her to live Brenda, I want her to be healthy and I want to marry her but none of those things can happen if she doesn't have the surgery."

Momentarily entranced by the gleaming ruby, Brenda closed her eyes. "She was very clear that she didn't want surgery."

He shook his head. "You make it sound like she was making a rational decision – that person in there" he said, pointing to her room. "looks like Robin and sounds like Robin but is not Robin. There is no getting better from this without surgical intervention. Do you really think I would put her at risk like this if I didn't believe it was absolutely necessary?"

Brenda pulled on her bottom lip. "What you are asking me to do is enable you in a monumental lie."

"Yes."

"Patrick, this is my best friend…."

"Right and if she doesn't have the surgery then you can kiss shopping trips and girly gossip goodbye – she won't be able to do it. For god's sake Brenda, she shot a gun – a GUN –with our child in the next room. She HATES guns."

"I know she does but this is a huge risk."

"Not doing this is a huge risk. I thought as her best friend you would do anything for her."

"I won't lie to her."

"Not even if it will save her life?"

Brenda sighed and leaned back against the wall. "Patrick….do you have any idea how angry she will be when she wakes up – if – IF we do this?"

Patrick leaned up against the wall beside her. "I expect she will end things with me."

"And you're prepared to risk all that for this?" she waved the paper.

"Not for this" he pointed to the consent form. "For her – there isn't anything I wouldn't give up for her" he whispered.

"Including a relationship with her?"

"What choice do I have?"

"What do you mean?" she studied his face.

"Love requires sacrifice and I'll make whatever sacrifice that's needed. I would rather her furious with me and healthy than pliant and sick."

"I'm still not sure – I need to think about it."

"Don't think too long." He stood up from the wall. "And Brenda?"

"Yeah?"

"This isn't my only option – I want to do it this way because it less traumatic and damaging but I won't hesitate to go there if I'm forced to."

She narrowed her eyes. "Are you trying to bully me?"

He shook his head. "Just trying to drive home how critical this is. Sleep on it, pray about it, whatever." He slouched off, not defeated but certainly exhausted.

xxxx

"God, could Aragorn be any hotter?" Lulu asked, reaching for a handful of popcorn.

"Really? You think he's hot?" Nikolas asked. He turned to Nathalie. "Do you think he's hot?"

Nathalie looked at Lulu and smiled. "Hell yes."

"But…but – he's all dirty and his hair is stringy."

"Nothing wrong with a dirty man" Nathalie smiled. "He's a warrior."

"Really? You think he's hot?"

"What you're worried about is if she thinks he's hotter than you" Lulu offered.

"Well….uh….is he?"

Nathalie rolled her eyes and kissed Nikolas quickly on the lips. "You are very hot."

"But compared to Aragorn…"

"See you first problem is thinking there can be a comparison to Aragorn…..wait, wait – I love this part" Nathalie said, leaning forward. "See, he sees the Urakhai are coming because Frodo's sword is glowing - now wait for it….there it is – see!!"

"Oh my god – you are so right!!" Lulu agreed.

"What? I don't see anything – he just turned around" Nikolas asked in confusion.

"D'uh" Lulu said.

"He slayed them with his hotness" Nathalie said reverently. "God I love these movies."

Nikolas looked between his girlfriend and his sister. "When did Lord of the Rings become a chick flick?"

"Shhh!" Lulu admonished "We're getting to the really good part."

_I made a promise, Mr Frodo. A promise. "Don't you leave him Samwise Gamgee." And I don't mean to. I don't mean to._

The room was silent but for the swell of music from the television and sniffling. Nathalie turned her head at the sound. "Nikolas Cassidine – are you crying?"

He wiped at his eyes. "No – I think…I must be allergic to something."

"Please – Wyndermere is in your blood" Lulu said, giggling "You're crying – you cried at Lord of the Rings."

"And you didn't?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"We aren't talking about me are we?"  
"Okay kids, don't make me put you in separate corners" Nathalie teased.

"Are we going to watch the Two Towers?" Lulu asked.

"There's more?" he asked incredulously.

"There's two more!" Nathalie said excitedly. "Wait until you see the battle scenes – it's like something out of ancient Greece" she paused. "You should feel right at home"

Nikolas made a face. "You know, there was a time when you were nicer to me."

"I know – the honeymoon's over – deal with it."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm going to go check on Spencer. Set up the next movie."

"He's probably going to go measure his sword and see if it's bigger than Aragorn's" Lulu said under her breath.

Nathalie screamed with laughter. "He has a sword?"

Lulu nodded. "My brother is quite an accomplished fencer."

Nathalie smiled and got up to change the dvd. "How about you Lulu – what are you accomplished at?"

"Nothing" she said quietly.

Nathalie turned to look at her. "That's not true – what do you like to do?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I've taken the semester off of college."

"Any idea what you'd like to study when you go back?"

"I don't know."

"Have you ever thought of working with kids?"

"What? Me?"

Nathalie nodded. "Lulu you have a real gift with children. I've seen you with Gracie and Oliver not to mention Spencer – you're in tune with them, you respond to their needs really well – I think you would make an excellent early childhood educator."

"Really?"

Nikolas paused on the stairs. It was the first time he had heard Lulu be open to any discussion of her future since contracting HIV.

"I do. Look Grace is a very active child but she sits and listens to you, she loves the games you play with her and the way you help her with her numbers and reading. You're very talented."

"Well, I like kids" she offered.

"Think about it"

"But don't you think I would have a hard time getting a job?"

"Why?" Nathalie asked quickly.

"Well – I, uh, - because of my HIV."

Nathalie sat beside her on the couch. "Lu – life is too short not to do something you love and there are too many kids who could benefit from you and all you have to offer. No one can refuse to hire you because of your medical status – it's discrimination and it's illegal."

"Doesn't mean they won't do it" she said cautiously.

"If they do, I am your first phone call."

"Why?"

"Because you have me on retainer and I will launch the mother of all discrimination and unfair hiring suits."

Lulu smiled. Nathalie was becoming very much the older sister she had wanted. She had gone from feeling all alone to being surrounded by women, Brenda, Nathalie, Robin and Anna who were clearing a path for her. "You really think I could do this?"

"Absolutely."

Nikolas came back into the room. "So there's more fighting in this one? Less mamby pamby stuff?"

"Mamby pamby?" Nathalie asked "What are you, 100?"

Lulu got up from the couch. "I'll leave you guys to it – there's uh, I need to go look at my course catalogue."

Nikolas and Nathalie watched her leave. He put his hand on her chin and turned her head towards him, seizing her lips in a passionate, intense kiss. "Wow" Nathalie whispered. She curled her fingers around the hair on the back of his neck. "What was that for?"

"For loving my sister. My family hit the jackpot when we found you."


	142. Chapter 142

Chapter 142

Thwap. Thwap. Thwap.

Patrick's feet hit the pavement in a slow and steady rhythm. He glanced at his watch. 2:13 p.m. Robin had been in surgery for 13 minutes with 47 minutes to go. He had been with her in her room as they prepped her for the O.R. Kissing her lips gently, he reminded her that he loved her and asked her forgiveness and then he watched as she was wheeled from the room. Brenda headed to the family room to wait out the surgery but Patrick couldn't stay. The walls of the hospital felt like they were closing in on him. The place that had offered him sanctuary for so many years now felt like it was rejecting him. The only solution was to run.

Thwap. Thwap. Thwap.

Brenda had called him about 5 in the morning. Neither had been sleeping. She asked him to make his argument one last time and he did. He did it with the same passion and fierceness that he had in the hospital hallway. He reminded her that she was the now the only thing standing between Robin and her health, between Rian and a healthy mother. He heard Brenda sniffle as they spoke and under other circumstances he would have been more sensitive to her pain and her worries but not now. Now he was a bulldozer willing to run over whatever or whoever he needed to for Robin to get what she needed. Brenda had told him that she was worried about him but he dismissed her telling her that all he needed was for his girlfriend to be well. He hung up the phone and called his father, asking him to book the O.R. He heard Noah sigh in relief. His father's familiar baritone echoed through the phone but Patrick was unable to hear the words. Robin was going to have surgery and everything would be alright. He shook his head. Maybe not everything but at least she would be.

Thwap.Thwap. Thwap.

He looked at his watch again. 2:26 p.m. She was almost half way through. She was the toughest person he had ever met. Others in her life called her strong but to him that implied there was no weakness. Robin had weaknesses, she had moments where life seemed on the verge of overwhelming her but she was too tough to give in. He had seen her put one foot in front of the other when almost anyone else would have fallen. The moment he met her he knew she was different. He had seemed to dismiss her so easily, giving her a 20 second summary of her life, but he had just been pushing her buttons. While her complexity was not easy to figure out, it was not difficult to see that she was complex. Her devotion to Jason when it was clear that he had hurt her told him much about who she was. He hoped that she was as devoted to him. He remembered their first dinner together - he had invited himself to sit at her table. He laughed as he thought back on his determination to insert himself in her life. It had been completely out of character for him. Getting women had never been a problem, in fact, until he met Robin he couldn't remember the last time he had ever been turned down. He had sat across the table from her that night - the glimmer of her grey satin blouse still crystal clear in his mind - and found that he wanted to dive in and learn it all. He wanted past her walls to see what she was made of. She had given him glimpses, telling of Stone and of Jason but not disclosing anything. Their dinner over, she sauntered away, curls bouncing on her shoulders, hips swaying and though he didn't know it then she had intoxicated him. He had been stopped in his tracks as he watched her go toe to toe with Carly Corinthos. She had slapped her hard across the face, every inch the fire breathing goddess who had burst into his O.R. But it was what came before the slap, what prompted the slap, that changed how he looked at her forever. In their fight Carly had thrown her HIV+ status at her. He remembered being shocked and then not. In the little he had seen of Robin he had always felt there was a piece missing from the puzzle. She was driven by something but it wasn't the familiar stench of ambition that could be found on any young doctor, it was something else. His inability to figure it out had wrong footed him several times around her. Learning she was HIV+ changed nothing for him other than completing the picture. She was tough, she was smart, she was beautiful and she was a challenge. He was a goner.

Thwap. Thwap. Thwap.

The first time they had sex had been a revelation to him. There had been several attempts before that day at the cabin but they had been foiled by timing, inquisitive parents and emergencies. Soaking wet, in front of the fire, she opened herself up to him. They talked of making the best of what they had and for him it had been the first conversation of depth with someone who wasn't Andrew or Nathalie. He had shied away from intense or emotional conversations fearing he lacked the vocabularly but slowly by offering him safety, Robin had teased it out of him. It had unleashed a torrent in him, giving him the courage to ask for what he wanted and to realize he was worthy of the good things in life. Robin was one of the good things. The first touch of her silky skin still sent shivers down his spine. They had taken their time, exploring each other's bodies and honouring each other. Sitting facing each other, they had been kissing as if they could not taste enough until he pulled back. He looked into her eyes and in a flash saw everything he had been looking for but refused to admit he needed. He saw love and he saw safety and in that moment he knew that he could never let her go. The insistence of no strings was simply the last gasp of a beaten man. For the first time he trusted his heart to another person and he knew she would keep it safe. Once he accepted that, the world opened itself in ways he had never dreamed possible. He wanted a lifetime of moments like the cabin.

Thwap. Thwap. Thwap.

The sweat poured down his back and stung as it ran into his eyes. 2:47 p.m. He had been running for 47 minutes. He could feel her hand inside his. Hers was so small that it disappeared anytime he took it. He loved her hands. They were soft and delicate and they were also the place where her compassion could be felt. A touch from Robin could soothe him in a way few other things could. Her eyes were where her love could be seen. Big, shiny pools that reminded him that there would always be shelter for him. He hoped - and if he still prayed he would have done that too - that there would still be shelter to be found when she woke up. He wondered if he gave her the same looks, the same comforts. He suspected he did but didn't know for sure. Nathalie had asked him if he was making his choices and decisions regarding Robin's health from a place of love. The only answer was yes. Whatever happened from here on out would not change how he felt. He would love Robin for the rest of his life either as her husband or as her ex-boyfriend but he would love her.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

3:01 p.m.

It was over.


	143. Chapter 143

Chapter 143

Nathalie trudged to the door. Her sinuses were pounding and she contemplated whether or not it was possible for her lungs to simply stop working. Her cold was making her feel miserable and she didn't look much better. Though she couldn't be completely sure, she thought her nose might be just red enough to guide Santa's sleigh. Zipping up her hoodie, she opened the door. "Nik?"

He smiled. Despite the obvious signs that she wasn't feeling well, she looked adorable. "I heard you were sick."

She gave him a small smile. "I told you I was – I phoned you about an hour ago to cancel our dinner plans."

"Oh that's right" he said, walking through the door and closing it. He took her by the hand and led her to the couch. "Have no fear, Dr. Nik is here."

She arched an eyebrow as she tucked her legs up underneath her. "Dr. Nik?"

Placing a bag on the coffee table he began to unpack. Nathalie's eye grew big as she watched him pull out a container of soup, biscuits, cookies, vaporub, cough syrup and lollipops.

"Lollipops?" she asked.

"If you're a very good girl and do everything Dr. Nik tells you, you'll get a lollipop."

"I can think of some other things I'd rather suck on" she said huskily.

Nikolas' cheeks flushed bright red. "Uh, don't say things like that."

Nathalie laughed. "Why not?"

"Because you'll get me all hot and bothered and how am I supposed to take care of you if all the blood has rushed from my head?"  
She grinned. "Point taken."

He gently pushed her back on the couch. "Now lie back and let me get to work."

"Is it rude to ask to see your medical license?" she teased.

"Not rude at all – I keep it in a very private place and I will show it to you later" he winked.

Unzipping her pink hoodie, his breath hitched slightly as he caught sight of her sheer blue bra. He picked up the bottle of vaporub and began to spread it across her chest. Nathalie bit back a smile as she watched his eyes cloud with lust. "You're totally thinking about copping a feel aren't you?"

Nikolas hung his head. "Guilty." He continued to rub the ointment into her skin.

"This stuff is the best barrier to sex I've ever seen."

"What do you mean?"

"Please, who is going to want to get it on with me when I smell like a football locker room?"

Nikolas tapped his chin. "Maybe I should cover you in this everyday when you go to work?"

She slapped his arm playfully. "You're cute when you're irrational."

"That wasn't irrational"

"It wasn't?"

"No, that was jealous. I'm dead sexy when I'm jealous" Nathalie laughed out loud. Pulling the blanket from the arm of the couch, he tucked it around her. She took hold of his hand and stared lovingly into his eyes. "What?" he shifted somewhat uncomfortably.

"I haven't been taken care of in a long time and….it's nice."

Nikolas smiled and pressed his lips to her cheek. "I'd like to take care of you more but you suffer from a terrible disease."

"Really?"

"Independentitis – almost impossible to cure."

"But doctor" she grinned "are there any treatments?"

"A few – it's a long process to make the disease manageable. I'll start you on a course of treatment right away." Leaning in, he nuzzled her neck but the moment was broken by the shrill ring of the telephone. "Leave it" he said softly.

"It's probably my daughter" she said reaching for the phone. "Nathalie Walker……Hi baby, are you having a good time?...you went to the zoo? Were the animals cold?...I'm sure Lulu would love to come to the zoo with you sometime – maybe next spring." Nikolas felt his heart leap at the mere hint of long term plans. "I miss you tons Gracie-Lou…..Yes, Patrick misses you too…..I'm sorry baby, he's not here right now, he's doing some grown up stuff……..okay I'll talk to Grandma but you make sure you remember you manners…..okay Gracie – I love you lots."

Nathalie rolled her eyes as she heard her mother take the phone from her daughter. "Hello mother, how's Oliver?...Good. Gracie sounds well……of course I feed her but she's a picky eater…….I guess you just have a better touch than I do…..Pardon?...It's not Niky, it's Nikolas and he" she squeezed his hand. "is a great guy that I'm seeing……..no, I don't actually think it makes me look cheap to be dating less than a year after my husband's death………..I don't actually care what the neighbours think, that's your department, remember?"

Nikolas saw her cheeks redden and felt her body stiffen. "Well you already tell them what a disappointment I am to you and the Ambassador so this will only confirm it for them. I'm sure you'll get lots of sympathy and air time for it…….Jesus mother, I am a grown woman with two children, I can make big decisions about my career and my love life all on my own without any input from you………That's where you're wrong. I love you mother, I just don't happen to like you very much."

Nathalie stared at the phone. "Well that's not the quickest she's ever hung up on me" she said, replacing the phone in the cradle.

Nikolas rubbed her hand. "So when you say you and your parents have a complicated relationship….."

"What I really mean is we don't get along – at all."  
He reached out and brushed his fingers across her face. "How can you be a disappointment to them?"

She shook her head. "I'm not Gregory."

"Gregory?"

"My brother. He was perfect – golden child really. I would have hated him if I didn't love him so much. He was brilliant beyond belief – started university at 16, graduated Harvard law and went to work at my father's firm."

"I thought your father was an amabassdor?"

"He was but before that he started a law firm with his friend and it has grown to one of the most influential firms in Washington. Greg started there and was on the fast track to being made partner – my parents were over the moon."

"You keep talking in past tense, what happened?"

"Leukemia – nine years ago. It was mercifully quick and he died. My parents have felt his loss keenly ever since. They wanted me to be him, to honour him by carrying on his work but I never wanted to be a lawyer in the first place and the idea of working for my father's firm made me nauseous. They hated Drew."

"How come?" he continued to stroke her hand.

"He wasn't 'their' kind of people – he didn't come from money or position and wasn't a sexy type of doctor – he was a medical researcher. Our happy, non-influential life was ridiculously disappointing to my parents. They hate that I haven't registered Gracie and Oliver for prep school but I want them to be kids – to play and use their imaginations rather than have all their creativity drilled out of them by third grade."

"Was that your experience?"

She nodded. "Pretty much."

"And if you had told your mother that I was a prince?"

"You mean an actual prince as opposed to a prince of a guy?" Nikolas grinned and nodded. "I suspect she would have been all over you like a fat kid on a donut. My mother is class conscious and suddenly all of her objections to me dating would disappear. I'm sure she'd be out shopping for tiaras right now. "

Nikolas laughed. "My family has boxes of them, if she wants one I can send one to her."

"It would only encourage her…..but hey – have you ever worn one?"

"There aren't any photos to prove it" he teased. "Why don't I order up some tea for us?"

"That would be great."

Leaning in, Nikolas nuzzled her neck again. "You could never disappoint anyone who ever got the chance to know you."

Nathalie put her hand on the back of his head and pressed her cheek against him. "Thanks" she whispered.

Picking up the phone, Nikolas called down to room service. There was a knock at the door before he had finished the phone call.

"That's fast" Nathalie joked, getting up from the couch. Opening the door, she sucked in a sharp breath. Standing in front of her, pale and shivering, was Patrick. Immediately reaching out to him, he pulled him through the door. "P? What happened? Is Robin okay?"

He nodded. His eyes were haunted. "She's fine. Surgery was a success though my dad is going to keep her out of it for another day or two" he said flatly.

She held him firmly by the arm. "Where's Rian?"

"Hospital day care" He looked straight at Nathalie but didn't quite see her. He swayed slightly.

"Patrick – something is very wrong – what is it?"

"It's just…um Nat…..I think I've hit the wall" he said just before crumpling to the ground.


	144. Chapter 144

Chapter 144

Nathalie dropped to her knees beside Patrick and touched his face. "Patrick?"

Nikolas hung up and ran to her side. "What happened?"

"He's collapsed" she said patting his face. "P - baby, wake up." Patrick's eyes rolled and fluttered open. "That's it Patrick, wake up."

Patrick groaned and made a move to sit up before falling back the ground. "Nat?" he asked groggily.

"Hey there good looking" she said softly.

"I hit the wall"

"So it would seem. Why don't Nik and I help you to your feet and you can lie down in my bed?"

"I should go to the hospital." His eyes moved rapidly, unable to focus on anything.

"You know what - you can go later, I think you need to rest for a little bit first."

"I am kind of tired" he said resignedly.

Nathalie nodded to Nik. Each put one of Patrick's arms over their shoulders and pulled him to a standing position. Nathalie took a deep breath before they started to her bedroom. Patrick was weak and wobbly and more than anything else, that scared her. In all the years she had known him she had seen him through a lot of disappointments and good times but never once had she seen him on the verge of giving up. They laid him on the bed and Nathalie removed his running shoes and socks before pulling the covers over him. Keeping the lights low, she kissed his forehead.

"Close your eyes P and try and rest. I'll be back to check on you in a little bit."

"Okay" he said flatly.

Nathalie pulled the door closed behind her as she exited the bedroom. She exhaled slowly. "I need you to do me a favour" she said quietly to Nikolas.

"Anything" he said.

"I need you to go to the hospital daycare and get Rian."

"Why? Isn't he better there?"

Nathalie shook her head. "He's really out of it at the moment but when he gets a few hours of sleep and then comes to, the first thing he's going to want is to see his son. I can put him in Oliver's crib and I think I have some formula kicking around."

"You sure?"

She nodded. "I knew he was in rough shape Nik, I just didn't think it was this bad."

He pressed his lips against hers. "Okay. I'll be back in a bit."

She gave him a small smile. "Thanks." Nathalie watched as Nikolas left and then cast a worried glance back to her bedroom. She shook her head. "Drew, show me how to help him" she whispered.

Walking to the bathroom, she wet a facecloth and went to check on Patrick. She sat down quietly on the edge of the bed. "You're not asleep."

"I can't."

Nathalie placed the cold compress on his forehead. "Sure you can"

"She's fine" he said hoarsely. "My dad said he got it all."

"That's good Patrick - she'll be home with you and Rian in no time."

"It's over"

Nathalie took her hand in his. "What do you mean it's over?"

"When she wakes up - she'll be mad and it will be over."

Reaching out, Nathalie stroked his face. Patrick's vulnerability was bringing her maternal instincts out in force. All she wanted to do was protect him and make him strong enough for Robin. "Patrick, she may be mad but she may not be. It's only over if you give up."

"Do you think she'll still let me see Rian?" he asked sounding very much like a five year-old.

"Patrick Drake" she said kindly. "That's enough of that. You did what you had to do - you made the tough decisions for someone you love and because of it Robin will be better. She's not going to leave you."

"Yes she is."

Nathalie felt off balance. Not once had defeat been a part of Patrick's make up. It just wasn't possible for him to lose. When he would come and visit her and Andrew in Washington and they would go out for the night, Andrew's friends would often make comments on how lucky Patrick was, how things just seemed to go his way. From where Nathalie sat, it wasn't luck, it was just that success was his only option. He was competitive and needed to win at every aspect of his life. For him to just give up was heartbreaking and as far as she was concerned, not going to happen.

She squeezed his hand. "Listen up pretty boy" Patrick smirked. "What you and Robin have qualifies as great love. Some people never get it but you found it. Does it get hard, are there rough patches to work through? Yes. Is this a rough patch? You bet. But P- the love you guys share is way stronger than anything else. You need to be patient and kind with one another and you'll get through it."

Patrick stared up at the ceiling. Nathalie's words rang true but he had no clue how to reconcile his heart with his head. "Nat?"

"Yeah?"

Ashamedly, tears tumbled down his face. "I don't think I can do this - I'm spent." He rolled to his side, his back to Nathalie.

She moved closer to him and soothingly rubbed his back. She could feel each of his muscles stretched and tightened as though the stress had fused his entire being. "You're not alone Patrick" she whispered. "You have friends and family who love you so much - lean on us - we'll get you through." She continued to rub his back until the crying stopped and she could hear the slow, steady rhythm of his breathing as he fell asleep. She silently blew out her cheeks. Robin may have been lying in a hospital bed post-surgery but in Nathalie's mind it was a toss up as to who had the greater injuries.

xxxxxx

Brenda pulled her knees to her chest, sitting almost like a ball in the chair at Robin's bedside. She pulled her sleeves over hands, a nervous habit she had since she was a little girl, and wrapped her arms around her legs. She stared at Robin, envying the peace on her face. In fact, there was much that Brenda envied about her best friend. For as long as Brenda had known her, Robin had always managed to find the grace in any situation. Where she would rage and howl at the wind, the moon and the stars, Robin would weigh the fairness of a situation, give everyone the room they deserved even if it came at cost to herself. When things would get tough, Robin would scamper to the high ground. Brenda was always happy to fight in the mud but not Robin. Once Brenda asked her straight out how she knew when to fight and when to walk away. Robin had smiled in that kind way she had and told her that the first question was never when but why. In the large scheme of things, Robin reminded her, very few things were worth fighting for with everything you had. But if they were worth fighting for, then you didn't walk away until it was over. Having had the opportunity to know Anna and then Robert, Brenda now knew that was a trait she got from both her parents. Like a small child, Brenda crossed her fingers and hoped that Robin would view Patrick as one of the things worth fighting for.

"You realize staring at her isn't going to wake her up, right?"

Brenda smiled and looked up. "But Noah, I'm feeling confident that I can finally beat her in a staring contest."

Noah let out a small laugh. "You've been here for hours, can I buy you a cup of atrocious coffee?" She ran her hands through her hair, she was reluctant to leave Robin. "I promise she'll be fine."

Brenda looked at Robin one last time. "Okay"

They walked in silence to the cafeteria. Brenda's mind flooded with memories of Robin and Noah's mind filled with thoughts of his son. He sent Brenda in search of a table while he got the coffee. Carrying them over to where she was, Noah set a mug down in front of her.

"I'm embarassed to be giving you this after all the time you spent Italy" Noah said. There had been a time where he excelled at small talk but Mattie's death and his descent into the bottle had robbed him of much. Most costly after Patrick was his confidence.

"Bad coffee and hospitals - it's to be expected, right?"

Noah smiled. "It is."

"I haven't seen Patrick" she said nervously.

"He was here, just after we brought her to recovery."

"Ah. Did he see her?"

Noah nodded. "He did. He spoke to her and kissed her and then left."

"He's not doing very well is he?"

"No, he's not."

"And you're worried" she observed.

"He's my son" Noah said simply. "Even when I wasn't in his life, I still worried."

"Did you tell him about Robin crashing on the table?"

He shook his head. "No." Noah looked into his coffee cup. "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing Brenda and that particular piece of information could send him to a place that I don't want to think about." Brenda nodded. "I'll tell him eventually but for now, all he really needs to know is that she's okay."

"She is okay, right?"

"She is. The surgery was a succes and I have no reason to believe she'll have any relapses."

"It's just.." Brenda swirled her coffee around. "it's selfish of me I know but I need her to be okay. I'm a whole big giant bag of crazy but Robin, through it all, through stuff you couldn't even imagine - she would just love me. Her love is such an amazingly powerful thing. You know, when she was in Paris and buried under work - by choice I might add - I would tell her that there was someone just waiting to be loved by her and to love her.She never believed me but I knew I was right" She sighed "And then I got so furious with her for coming back here."

"Why?" Noah asked, curious as to the insight Brenda could provide.

"Because she was coming back for Jason and whatever place they arrived at where they were okay with each other - I wasn't. He hurt her and not in any way that I found forgivable. But I don't actually think anyone who hurts Robin should be forgiven. "

"Mama Bear" he smiled.

"Something like that. But now I'm glad she did come back. Your son is amazing."

"That's kind of you to say."

"But I'm not just being kind. He's uncovered something in her that went away when Stone died - she was fearless. I've oftened wondered if Stone had lived, would her HIV have affected her in the same way?" She took a long drink of her coffee. "And then Patrick happened and he opened her up again - she's brighter, happier - she's just more Robin than she has been in a long time."

"Well Robin has done quite a bit for Patrick too. He was always so afraid of losing - in baseball, hockey, school, love, that he would hold on to things just a little too long, squeeze the bat a little too tightly. But falling in love, being in her goodness changed that for him and the best example I've seen of it was his willingness to push ahead with the surgery regardless of what it may mean for him personally."

"Do you think Robin will end things with him?"

"Do you?" Noah asked pointedly.

Brenda tugged at her sleeves. "Not sure. I'd like to think that she won't - that she'll be pissed or whatever. But honestly - if she can forgive Jason for what he did, if she can forgive Sonny for dismissing her from his life then how can she not forgive Patrick for doing something because he loved her?"

"Are you afraid that she won't forgive you?"

Brenda shrugged. "Robin and I have never fought. Not once." She drained her coffee. "When are you going to wake her up?"

"Day after tomorrow. By staying comatose for another few days it will help with the healing and any disorientation." Brenda nodded. "They're going to need us you know."

"I know" she said quietly.

"I should get back to it" he said getting up.

"Noah?"

"Yes Brenda?" he said, turning back to face her.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For fixing Robin - I'm not sure you know what a gift that is."

He smiled kindly. He actually did know what a gift it was - Robin meant everything to his son and had come to mean so much to him. He credited her with giving him back his life - the least he could do was return the favour.


	145. Chapter 145

Chapter 145

Nathalie paced the floor with Rian in her arms. Glancing at the clock she saw that it was 3 a.m. "You're such a beautiful baby" she cooed quietly. Rian had been fussing in the crib so she decided to take him out and walk the floor with him. True to his word, Nikolas had dropped him off along with a supply of diapers, onesies and formula. He had offered to stay but Nathalie declined. He had his own son to see to and she needed to be able to give Patrick her full attention.

Rian moved and cried in her arms and so she gave her finger to suck on. "What's up, little one? You're not hungry because I just fed you." She bounced him lightly in her arms. "What do you need to make you happy?"

"His mom"

Nathalie jumped as she heard Patrick's voice behind her. "I didn't know you were up" she said quietly.

"How long have I been out?" He instinctively reached for Rian's finger.

"A while – since about 4 this afternoon."

Patrick sighed as he rubbed his hands over his face. "I guess I needed it."

"I don't think you're caught up but I do think you've at least put some juice back in your battery." She brought Rian to her shoulder and rubbed his back.

Patrick smiled at her. "Andrew always said you were the most gorgeous mother he had ever seen – he was right."

"You mean after Robin, right?"

At the mere mention of her name, Patrick sank to the couch. Pulling out a pillow from underneath him, he realized Nathalie had been sleeping there. "You were on the couch?"

She shrugged. "You're a bed hog" she teased. She handed Rian over to him. "I think he wants some cuddle time with his dad."

Patrick dropped several soft kisses on his son's head. "Hi little man." Recognizing a familiar scent, Rian immediately snuggled his head against his father's arm. "I love you so much Rian" he whispered.

"Do you want something to eat? Drink?" Nathalie asked. "Room service is 24 hours here." He shook his head "P – far be it from me to give you a hard time but a little food would go a long way to sustaining you. Why don't I have them send up some eggs or something."

"I'm just not hungry Nat."

She leaned back against the arm of the couch and tucked her legs underneath her. "So let's talk."

"Not sure there's anything to say."

She shook her head. She wanted to gentle with him but it didn't seem to be working. It was time for another approach. "You need to snap out of your pity party. You have jumped to all sorts of conclusions where Robin is concerned and frankly you're not being very fair to her at all."

Patrick snapped his head up in surprise. "What?"

"You heard me. Does she even get a say in this? You are so convinced that she will end your relationship you're not giving her the chance to tell you how she feels. You can write your part of the script Patrick but you can't write hers."

He felt his eyes well with tears. "You don't understand – I betrayed her trust…"

"To save her! She's a smart girl and she's going to figure that out."

"But it doesn't change what I've done."

Nathalie sat back and stared at him. "What exactly is it that you think you've done?"

Frustration crept in to his expression. "I told you, I betrayed her – she trusted me and made me promise not to do something when all along I was plotting to do just the opposite." He put his face next to Rian's. "I don't even know who I am anymore."

Nathalie scooted towards him. "I'll tell you who you are – you are a loving and kind man, a father, you wanted your girlfriend to be healthy again, you wanted your son to have a happy mother. You were patient and kind until patience and kindness stopped getting the job done and then you made the hard choices. You did what you did because you love her." She touched his arm. "Show me who you love and I will tell you who you are – loving Robin says much about you."

Patrick sucked in a breath. "But what does her loving me say about her?"

"It says that she found a safe port in the storm, a soft place to fall – whatever you want to call it. It says that she found the one person worthy of her big heart – and it's you." Nathalie studied his face. "Patrick, whose forgiveness are you looking for – Robin's or your own?"

Patrick said nothing for several minutes. He played with Rian's fingers and feet, making faces at him and eliciting loud giggles. "Baby laughs are amazing aren't they?"

Nathalie nodded. "Because they're completely without pretense."

"It's strange but Robin and I never talked about who would look after our child if something were to happen to us." He looked up at her. "You and Drew did, right?"

"We did. We wanted it to be you but Drew didn't think it would be fair. 'Can't cramp his style' he would tease. So we asked his sister and her husband."

"I think I would have liked my style cramped" he said quietly.

"I think Gracie would have run away at the first possible chance if she didn't get to live with Patty. There are still days I think she wants to trade me in for you."

Patrick gave a small smile. "It's because I'm incredibly cool."

"Oh please, don't make me call Lulu."

"Would you?"

"Call Lulu?" she asked in confusion.

"No – would you take care of Rian if …if I wasn't around and Robin were still in the hospital?"

She narrowed her eyes. "P – I would do anything in this world for you including take care of Rian but you need to tell me what's going on in that addled brain of yours."

He shook his head. "Nothing – I just wanted to see – just make sure that you would." He stood up suddenly from the couch. "He's asleep, I'm going to go put him down."

Nathalie watched as he headed to Oliver's room. There was something about his tone and his demeanour that made her nervous. She kept her eyes trained on the door as he came back out.

"Do you know where my shoes are?"

She nodded. "They're in the bedroom. But Patrick, it's the middle of the night, what do you need your shoes for?"

Standing in the bedroom doorway, he turned to look at her. "I'm going to see Robin."

xxxx

Patrick stood outside Robin's room, gripping the door handle. She looked peaceful and with the exception of a few strategically placed bandages, there was no way to tell that that she had just had surgery. He quietly opened the door, chuckling to himself that it didn't actually matter how loudly he opened things, there was no chance of Robin waking up – not until his father decided it was time.

Walking over to her bed, he took her hand and pressed his lips against hers. "Hi angel" he said quietly. He stroked her face. "I think our boy is missing you – I'm a poor substitute for his mom." Leaning in further, he placed his head on her chest and listened to her heart beat in its own steady rhythm.

He sat down in the chair, never letting go of her hand. "So Nat's been kicking my ass – I always thought between her and Drew she was the softie – boy, did I call that wrong" he laughed lightly. "And Brenda and I have bonded. Does that scare you because it sure as heck scares me." He rubbed his thumb along the inside of her palm. "I know it's only been three days but I miss you. I lived almost 30 years without you and now I'm struggling with three days"

Leaning back in the chair he listened to the beeping of her heart monitor. Some people found hospitals creepy in the middle of the night but he always preferred the night shift. The havoc of the day was usually gone, with the exception of the ER, and the hospital would take on a life of its own. It was comforting to him when he struggled with his relationship with his father and the familiar noises and quiet were comforting to him now.

Restless, he got up from the chair and walked around the room. He pressed the print button her heart monitor and reviewed its history for the last couple of hours. Tossing the print out in the garbage, he walked to the foot of her bed, he pulled her chart up and sat it on the table. He began to flip through it, smiling at the report of her vitals. "You are ridiculously normal when it comes to vitals Scorpio – perfect blood pressure, perfect sinus rhythm – who am I kidding" he teased "of course it's perfect" Flipping to the operative notes, he scanned through them until he came across two words that sent a chill through his blood.

_Cardiac Arrest_

Patrick squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them, hoping the words would be gone from the page.

_V-fib – 2:33 p.m./10 mg Heparin administered/rhythm re-established at 2: 34 p.m._

Patrick felt his own chest tighten. Robin's worst fears, the nightmare she had expressed time and time again had actually happened on the table. He looked up from the chart, at her sleeping form. He did this – he manipulated her and lied to her and if not for some very quick work in the OR by his father and his team, she very well would have died.

He gripped the table as his knees buckled slightly. Taking several slow, deep breaths, he put the chart back in its holder and walked to the head of the bed. He closed his eyes to stop the tears from forming but it was too late. His eyes overflowed and they began to stream down his face. Climbing into the bed beside her, he pulled her to him and rested his lips against her hair.

"I'm sorry" he said quietly in a plaintive tone. "Oh god, Robin, I am so sorry." He held her for several minutes, breathing in her scent, feeling the warmth emanating from her. "I am sorry" he repeated "I hope you can forgive me someday." He kissed her tenderly on the lips and gently placed her back against the pillow.

"I love you" he said before walking out the door.


	146. Chapter 146

Chapter 146

"You didn't have to come with me" Nathalie said to Nikolas as they entered the airport.

He smiled and reached for her hand. "Really, the beauty of being me is that I don't have to do anything - I do what I want and I want to help you pick up Grace and Oliver." She smiled at him gratefully. "Did you get any sleep at all?" he asked, noticing the dark circles under her eyes.

She shook her head. "Patrick got up in the middle of the night and we talked for a few hours before he left." She stifled a yawn. "And then he came back around 5:30 looking more haunted than before to pick up Rian."

"You're worried."

Nathalie exhaled. "A lot. I've seen Patrick in a lot of situations over the years but distraught Patrick is a new even for me. The best thing that can happen now is for Noah to wake Robin up and for him to hear from her own mouth that she still loves him. No matter how many times I tell him it won't mean a thing until it comes from her."

Nikolas pulled her to a stop in the middle of the arrivals hall and captured her lips in a tender kiss. "You're a good friend and you're taking really good care of him."

Leaning forward, she rested her head on his shoulder. "I just want it all better Nik. I want to have a dinner party, you, me, Robin, Patrick, Lulu and Brenda and all of our kids running around - how great would that be?"

He stroked the back of her head. "Pretty great." She lifted her head and smiled at him. "Looking forward to seeing your kids?"

She nodded vigourously. "I know I threaten to sell them for shoes from time to time" she teased "but I really love them and I miss them when they're not here."

Nikolas consulted his watch. "Well the plane should have touched down by now." He squeezed her hand as she anxiously watched the gate.

It didn't take long for Nathalie to spot Grace with her mother but Oliver was nowhere in sight. And then she saw him. "Oh shit" she said under her breath.

"What?" Nikolas said, waving to Grace.

"That's my father carrying Oliver. Nothing good can come from this." She bent down and opened her arms as Grace came running towards her.

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!"

"Hi sweetheart!" she said, scooping her up and holding her tightly. "I've missed you so much" she kissed her face.

"I missed you too! Guess what?"

"What baby girl?"

"Granpa came with us!"

Nathalie looked past her daughter and saw her parents standing side by side. She smiled tightly. "I can see that."

"Hi Nik!" Grace said excitedly. "I touched a camel"

He kissed her cheek. "That's great Gracie - I'm sure glad you're home - Lulu has been missing you."

"I missed Lulu too - I wanted to call her but Granma said no - can I see her mommy? Pleeeease"

"Yes baby, we'll go see Lulu later." She heard her parents clear her throat. "Mother, thank you bringing them back." She put Grace down on the ground who immediately took Nikolas' hand. "I can take Oliver" she said holding her hands out to her son. Her father stepped forward and handed Oliver to her.

"Father" she said curtly.

"Nathalie, are you not going to introduce us to your man?" her mother said sharply.

She refrained from rolling her eyes. "Nikolas, these are my parents - Anne and John Harder."

Stepping forward, Nikolas shook both their hands. "Nice to meet you both."

"I assume you're the boyfriend" Anne said.

"Of course he is Granma, he's a boy and he's her friend - d'uh" Grace said.

John stepped in closer. "Is there somewhere more private we can go to speak?"

Nathalie eyed him suspiciously. "Actually where you're concerned the more public the better - you're less likely to make a scene" she said evenly.

"Fine. What is this about Grace spending time with an AIDS patient?" he asked in a loud stage whisper.

Nathalie looked at her daughter who was playing imaginary hopscotch on the floor tiles. "She's not an AIDS patient - it's Nikolas' sister Lulu and she just happens to have HIV."

"Just happens?" her mother spluttered "and you let your daugther spend time with her? Nathalie I swear ever since your poor husband died you have become more and more irresponsible."

Nikolas made a move forward but Nathalie reached her hand out to stop him. "My poor husband?" she hissed. "The husband you hated? Lulu is very, very good to your grandchildren and that is all you need to know about her."

"She has HIV and your daughter has no business being anywhere near her."

"You don't get a say" Nathalie said.

"This Lulu person is not the right type of person for your children" John added.

"You simply don't get a say in who the right type of person for my children is." Grace walked towards her grandfather and stamped on his foot as hard as her four year old strength would let her. "Ooow!" John exclaimed taken aback by the small act of protest.

"Take that back, I love Lulu!" Grace cried. "Don't be mean about Lulu!!"

"Grace Louise Walker!" Nathalie said sternly. "You apologize to your grandfather right away"

"No - he needs to say sorry about Lulu!" She crossed her arms pouting.

"That's an excellent job you're doing there Nathalie" her mother remarked. "Maybe if you spent more time taking care of your children and less time trying to find a warm body to keep you company at night you wouldn't have these discipline issues."

Nathalie's mouth fell open. "My daughter was merely expressing her displeasure with your breathaking ignorance. I may have to reward her with ice cream when we get home."

Taking Oliver from Nathalie's arms and Grace's hand with his free hand, Nikolas pulled them away from the rising tension. "Let's look at the pictures on the screen Grace."

"When are you going to stop this nonsense and come home to your life in Washington?" her father asked.

"My life in Washington ended with my husband's death. My life is here now - I have friends and people who love me and my kids."

"You are setting a poor example for your children" her mother sniffed.

"How? Tell me mother - how is picking up the pieces and putting my life back together and loving my children a poor example?"

"You are sleeping with a man less than a year after your husband died - you know nothing about him but so long as you're being pleasured that's all that matters. You were a tramp when you were 21 and you're a tramp now."

Nikolas heard her mother's voice and watched the colour drain from Nathalie's face like she had been struck. It was hard to a imagine a family more vile than his own but the Harders were sure giving it a run for their money.

Nathalie swallowed thickly. "I know plenty about Nikolas - he's good and he's kind. He loves me, he respects and he is good to my children. That's all I need to know and that's all you should be interested in." Nathalie closed her eyes briefly. The lack of sleep combined with her cold were making it difficult to stay upright.

"Just so we're clear" John said "You plan on staying here, living in a hotel room, sleeping around and letting your children be looked after by deviants?"

Nathalie stepped back. "Got that straight from the Port Charles tourism brochure?" she said bitterly.

John reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a folded document. Upon seeing the blue backing paper she knew immediately it was a legal document. "You leave us no option Nathalie. Someone has to look out for those children" he said, passing her the document.

Nathalie flipped it open and read the first few lines. She shook her head as she turned the page. "You are unbelievable" she said flatly.

Nikolas walked towards her. "What is it?"

"They're moving to have me declared an unfit mother and name themselves as guardians" she shook her head again. "This is low, even for you two, the world's first living heart donors."

"There is no need to be nasty" Anne said.

"Right" Nathalie scoffed. "Because it's all been so civil up until now."

Nikolas touched Nathalie's shoulder. "My driver is out front, why don't you take the kids and get settled."

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Nowhere, I just want to have a quick chat with your folks."

"Nik - this isn't your fight" she protested.

He pressed his lips against her cheek. "Please do this for me" he whispered. "I'll be right behind you."

Nathalie stared at him and smiled. "You're amazing" she said quietly. "Gracie, say thank you and goodbye to your grandparents"

"Bye" she waved, unwilling to forgive for the slight against her friend. She took Nathalie's hand as they headed out front to the waiting car.

Nikolas waited until they were out of earshot before stepping closer. "Your daughter is very headstrong" he remarked.

"You have no idea" Anne muttered.

"And yet forgetful. She never remembers to give people my full name - I am Nikolas Cassidine."

John's eyes widened. "Cassidine? As in Cassidine Industries?"

Nikolas smiled sweetly. "One in the same. It's my family's empire and as the sole heir, I run things." He continued to move into their personal space. "I tell you this not so that you can be impressed with my status but so that you understand that I have the choice of princesses and countesses the world over and yet I choose your daughter because she is amazingly beautiful and strong and because she has so much to offer."

"There's lots you don't know about our daughter, Mr. Cassidine" Anne remarked.

"True" he agreed. "But here's what I do know. I am so rich that it would take several generations spending blindly to even make a dent in my fortune which means that I can afford the best of everything, wine, houses, cars, lawyers" he said pointedly "I also know that your daughter loves her children and does the very best by them on a daily basis and to try and declare her unfit is simply wrong."

"What are you saying Nikolas?" John said.

He smirked. "Come after Nathalie if you want but all roads to her come through me." He stepped back. "Nice to have met you."

xxxxx

Brenda shifted from one foot to another as she watched Noah hang the i.v. bags. "Where's Patrick?" she asked for the third time.

Noah sighed. "I've called him at every possible number and left messages all over the city for him. He doesn't want to be reached Brenda"

"But he should be here - she's going to wake up and he should be here."

"I know" he said, adjusting the drug flow. "But he's not. It's time for Robin to wake up and I can't wait any longer."

Brenda took hold of Robin's hand. "How long will it take?"

"About 10 minutes. She's going to be disoriented and groggy when she comes to and please Brenda, don't blurt out anything, let her get her bearings."

"What? Like I'm a blurter."

Noah smiled. "Um - I'm fairly certain the word was actually invented to define you."

Brenda stoke her tongue out at him. "Everyone's a comedian"

They both stood and waited. Four minutes became six and seven minutes became nine. Brenda checked her watch obsessively. Finally at the 14 minute mark Robin began to stir and her eyes fluttered open. She closed them immediately and took a deep breath. Brenda looked worriedly at Noah.

"It's normal" he reassured her. "Robin, honey, it's Noah. Can you try and open your eyes again? It's time to wake up."

Robin groaned and rubbed her lips together. Brenda pressed some ice chips to her lips. "Here you go sweetie"

Robin greedily accepted the cool ice. She opened her eyes again and they darted around the room. Everything seemed hazy and slightly out of focus.

"Just take some deep breaths" Noah said soothingly. "Slow and steady Robin." Robin concentrated on Noah's word and the touch of Brenda's hand. She inhaled deeply and slowly let it out. Her focus began to return and she looked from Brenda to Noah.

"You okay sweetie?" Brenda asked.

Noah took out his pen light and checked the reaction of her pupils. Robin blew her cheeks out.

"Where is Patrick?"


	147. Chapter 147

Chapter 147

"What are you doing here?"

"Geez thanks Patrick, nice to see you too" Lulu remarked dryly.

"Is Nathalie home?" he asked, holding Rian tightly.

"She's just going to the airport to pick up Gracie and Oliver - come in." Lulu noticed the dark circles under his eyes and wondered when was the last time he actually slept. She also noticed the gym bag in his hand. "Here let me take that" she said, reaching for the bag.

Patrick handed it to her and looked around the suite. "Do you think she'll be back soon?" he asked, clearly distracted.

"Any minute I expect. Why don't you sit down?" He sat wordlessly on the couch, rubbing Rian's hand. "Patrick, what's wrong?"

He looked up. "What?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing" he said flatly. "I just need to see Nat."

"Is it Robin?"

"What?" he asked distractedly.

Lulu moved beside him on the couch and put her hand on his arm. "Patrick, you saw me through possibly the worst moment of my life - how can I help you?"

He shook his head. "I'm beyond help Lulu" he said quietly.

"No way, nuh-uh. No one is beyond help. And whatever you're thinking of doing, trust me when I tell you, it's probably a bad idea."

He gave her a small smile. "You're a good person Lu."

"So are you" she said emphatically. "I'm also a pretty good listener - you know, if you want to tell me about it."

He shook his head. "It's not that I don't want to, I can't."

"Patrick, Robin loves you and that can get you through anything."

"That's a fairytale Lulu." He tickled Rian's cheek.

"No it's not. Love got my parents through some really terrible things - so terrible that it should have broken them apart but it didn't. Don't run, Patrick."

He looked up sharply. "Who said I'm running?"

"My dad, he gets this look just before he hits the road. It's kinda a far away look, not quite wanderlust but something like it - like he needs to outrun something. You have the same look right now. The problem is you can't outrun what's inside you."

Patrick was about to answer her when the door opened and Nathalie, Grace, Oliver and Nikolas came through. Spotting Patrick first, Grace ran down the stairs to the sunken living room. "Patty! Patty!" she said. She skidded to a stop when she saw Lulu, her eyes widened. "Patty AND Lulu!" she said in wonder.

"Looks like you've hit the jackpot Gracie" Nathalie said, eyeing Patrick carefully.

Grace stood in front of Patrick and Lulu hopping from one foot to the other. "Don't I get a hug?" Patrick asked, smiling as best he could.

The young girl pulled at her bottom lip. "I don' t know who to hug first" she said quietly.

"Ah" he replied. "Well I have to put Rian down so I can hug you in both arms, why don't you say hi to Lulu first." He got up and headed towards Nathalie. Grace jumped into Lulu's arms, covering her in kisses.

"Hey Nik" Patrick said quietly.

"Patrick. How are you?"

He shrugged. Nathalie spotted the gym bag. "What's that?" she asked.

"Some of Rian's things"

Her face dropped. "Please Patrick - don't do this."

"I have to" he said, unable to meet her eyes. "Could you take care of Rian for a few days? I know it's a lot to ask but I don't know who else to turn to" Panic crept into his voice.

Nikolas took Oliver from Nathalie's arms. "Why don't I get him changed?" he said, heading to the bedroom. Nathalie watched as Nikolas cradled her son and felt her stomach flip flop. Turning back to Patrick, she took him by the arm and lead him to the dining table.

"Talk to me" she said.

"Will you take Rian?" he asked urgently.

"Of course I will but Patrick where are you going?"

"Her heart stopped" he blurted.

"What? When?" she asked in shock.

"During surgery. She was afraid of that and it happened."

Nathalie leaned in. "Patrick do you think decision had anything to do with that? Because it didn't."

He shook his head. "You don't know that. I don't know that - I don't know anything anymore."

Nathalie exhaled. "Where are you going to go?"

"I just need some time away - some space to clear my head."

"For how long?" Still reeling from the surprise legal action by her parents, she felt even more undone by the idea that Patrick was leaving. He had been a constant in her life and to be out of touch with him would be unnerving.

"However long it takes." He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out an envelope. "Could you give this to Robin for me?"

Nathalie picked up the envelope and ran her fingers along the outline. She looked at Patrick and pushed it back to him. "No."

He shook his head in surprise. "No?"

"No way. If you want to leave, you want to run, that's your choice and I can't stop you but you at least owe Robin a conversation. I will pick up the pieces Patrick - for both of you if needed - but you can't ask me to be the one to deliver the blow too." She put her hand to her forehead. "You have to tell Robin yourself."

"I...I...I'm not sure I can" he said softly.

"Well I would say then that you can't leave until you can." She watched as his eyes filled with tears and she knew he was on the ragged edge but she strongly believed that regardless of the choice he was going to make, he needed to take responsibility for it.

"Patty!" Grace came running over. "I'm ready for my hug now."

Patrick gave her a watery smile and handed Rian to Nathalie. Bending down he pulled her up into his arms. "Hey Gracie-lou" he said softly.

"Hey Patty-lou" she replied, kissing his cheeks. "I loves you"

A lump formed in his throat. "I love you too sweetpea."

"How much?" she asked.

"More than the ocean" he replied somewhat flatly.

"Yeah, well I love you more than space!" she announced firmly. "I love you more than space!"

He hugged her tightly. "Then I'm the luckiest guy in the world." He kissed her cheek and then put her down on the ground. "I have to go baby - I'll see you soon."

"Where are you going?" she asked, wide eyed.

"I'm going to see Robin"

"Are you coming back?" she twirled her hair around her fingers.

"I hope so." He moved towards Nathalie and kissed Rian several times on his forehead. "I love you little man" he choked out. "Daddy loves you." He looked at Nathalie but could say nothing.

"I know" she whispered. "I love you Patrick"

He nodded, kissing Rian one more time before practically running out the door.

xxxxx

Robin fell back asleep quickly after waking up.

"Is that normal?" Brenda asked

Noah nodded and escorted her out of the room. "It is. She has some pretty strong meds still in her system. She'll be in and out of it for a while."

"When are you going to tell her about the surgery?"

"Next time she wakes up, likely. I want her to orient herself before we have that discussion."

"Are you going to call Patrick again?" she asked. "Because I'm not sure we can cover for much longer"

Noah nodded. "I think it's time for a father/son ass kicking - a loving ass kicking."

Brenda smiled. Standing on her toes she gave Noah a kiss on his cheek. "You're a good man Noah Drake."

He blushed to his roots. "You're alright too Brenda" he said. "Are you going home?"

She shook her head. "No. I'm going to grab something to eat and then go back to Robin's room. I don't want her to wake up alone."

"Good plan. I'll see you in a while" he said as they went their separate ways.

xxxx

Patrick pushed open the door to Robin's room. Standing at her bedside, he watched her chest rise and fall as she slept. He thought of the many nights that she had fallen asleep in his arms, the same steady motion lulling him to sleep. He liked the way she fit - he liked the way they fit together. Always an equal opportunity dater, he had never really had a preference - blonde, brunette, tall, short but now he did. His preference was Robin. He blew out his cheeks and leaning down, kissed her. He slowly let her lips go. "I love you so much" he said. "I have never felt for any woman what I feel for you."  
Pulling the envelope from his jacket pocket, he put it on the bedside table. "I hope you understand." He kissed her one last time, trying to memorize the feel of her lips, the smell of her skin. Finally pulling himself away, he walked out the door, tears streaming down his face.

Coming up the hallway, Brenda saw Patrick leaving her room, obviously crying. "Patrick!" she called to him. "Patrick!!" He ignored her and picked up the pace. Reaching Robin's room, she looked in through the door and saw the envelope propped up against the telephone. Sighing, she reached into her purse and pulled out her phone. Punching in the numbers she waited for the call to be connected.

"Anna? It's Brenda. I don't know what kind of shape Robert is in but you guys need to get here as soon as possible - Robin needs you."


	148. Chapter 148

Chapter 148

Brenda snuck into Robin's room and stood by the bedside table. Looking down at the envelope she saw Patrick's familiar loopy scrawl. Picking it up, she fingered the corners thinking it felt like she was holding a bomb in her hands. Whatever he had written, it couldn't be good considering the shape he was in when he left her room. She briefly contemplated taking it and reading it before giving it Robin but knew that was a line she couldn't cross.

"Bren?" Robin croaked.

Brenda dropped the envelope on to the table like it was hot. "Hey little sis" she said brightly, squeezing her hand. "Did you have a good sleep?"

Robin nodded, studying her friend's face. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean what's going on? Why do you think something is going on? You just woke up from a coma" she rambled.

Robin struggled to sit up. "You better go get Noah" she said groggily.

Brenda lurched forward. "Why? Are you hurt?"

She shook her head. "I'm fine but clearly you are sitting on some information that you either aren't supposed to know or aren't supposed to tell me - go get Noah - it's truth time."

"Robin - I ..."

"Noah, Brenda - get Noah"

She nodded and left the room. Stretching, she looked around the room. Her eyes fell upon the envelope lying flat on the table. Robin felt her stomach drop. Picking up the envelope, she traced her fingers over Patrick's hand writing. She had suspected earlier that something was up with Patrick otherwise he would have been at her side. Holding the letter now she knew he had left her, she just didn't know why. She resisted from opening it. Whatever he had written, Robin didn't want to know - not yet anyway.

She looked up from the letter as Noah came in the room. Smiling, he pulled a chair to her bedside. "Hi sweetheart, Brenda says you have some questions."

Robin looked at Noah and for the first time saw that his eyes crinkled the same way Patrick's did when he smiled. She looked over at Brenda who shifted from foot to foot.

"See Noah, Brenda would never make it as a spy - that 'I have to go potty' hop is a dead giveaway that she's got a secret." Robin smiled at her friend. "But even if she wasn't acting like she had ants in her pants, this" she held up Patrick's letter "would also be a clue that all is not right. Why is Patrick running away from me?"

The colour drained from Noah's face. "Is..is that what he said?"

She shook her head gently. "But I know Patrick, Noah and he would only run if I did something - what did I do?"

Noah took her hand. "Robin, how much do you remember of the last two months?"

She shrugged. "Lots I guess - we brought Rian home, Patrick had to sing karaoke"

"I touch myself" Brenda interjected.

"Pardon?" Noah spluttered, the colour returning to his cheeks.

Brenda looked at him quizzically. "That was one of the songs he had to sing."

"Oh" he said before turning back to Robin. "Do you remember anything else?"

"Can you give me a hint about what you're thinking I should remember?"

"Do you know why you're here?"

"I assume it has to do with the after effects of the car accident?"

Noah exhaled deeply. "Robin you had severe scar tissue building up on your temporal and frontal lobes."

Robin sucked in a breath. "Oh dear. Seizures?"

Noah nodded. "Auras, visions, behavioural and emotional control impluses."

Robin flopped back to the pillows. "Did I...did I hurt anyone?"

"No" Brenda jumped in. "Rian is fine, everyone is fine."

Robin eyed her friend and smiled. "It's not that I don't believe you Bren, but I do think you may be glossing over some bits. Noah?"

"You had outbursts. You would scream and yell or you would dissolve into tears. You were having visions of Stone." Robin's hand flew to her mouth. "Do you remember honey?"

Robin blew out an unsteady breath. "A little." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "I remember seeing Stone during my surgery..."

"You saw him during the surgery that just happened?" Brenda said quickly before covering her mouth with her hands.

"Brenda" Noah said kindly "Remember that conversation we had about blurting?"

Mouth still covered, she nodded. "Sorry" she mumbled.

Robin chewed on her lip. "Was he part of the visions I was having?"

Noah nodded, rubbing her hand. "Robin, you would have full conversations with him and when we ran some tests and saw the scar tissue forming, I advised that you needed surgery but you refused."

"I ran to see Sonny" she said trying to remember. "I thought I was going to die."

"That's right. In an effort to respect your fears, we changed your meds and it seem to regularize it for a bit ..."

"But the tissue progressed and I got worse"

"Yes."

Robin's eyes filled with tears and she looked up at the ceiling. She was having little difficulty imagining how hard it had been for Patrick, trying to take care of her and their baby. She had a temper under the best of circumstances and always worked hard to control it. Having that control taken away from her, she shuddered to think of how vicious she might have been.

"There's more - tell me."

Noah sighed. "It can wait Robin - you've just woken up..."

"No it can't wait. Patrick is gone and I need to know what else is going on if I'm going to get him back." Brenda sat down on the other side of the bed and took Robin's other hand. "Okay this can't be good if you both feel the need to hold my hand."

"Robin, Bruce was on television" Brenda said slowly.

She blinked several times. "Wait, I remember that - he was talking about working on mental health issues... and how..." she breathed in sharply "wait - my dad - my dad ...oh god"

Both of them rubbed her hands. "Breathe slowly Robin" Noah said firmly.

"Is my dad okay?"

"We think so, he's been recovering on Sonny's island - your mom has been with him."

Robin nodded. "So what happened when Bruce was on television?" Brenda and Noah exchanged looks, a move that did not go unnoticed by Robin. "What? Guys - tell me what happened?" agitation evident in her voice.

"Robin, honey, you shot the television." Noah said quietly.

Her mouth fell open. "I shot the television? With what?"

"A gun" Brenda added.

Robin shook her head. "No. No way - where did I get a gun?"

"We don't know."

"Was Rian in the house?" she asked urgently.

Brenda nodded. "But he was in another room."

Robin pulled her hands from them and pressed them against her eyes. "I shot...there was a gun...with my child in the house...oh my god." The tears that had been threatening to fall finally gave way and they flowed down her face. "Oh my god" she repeated. "How...Patrick must have been so scared" she choked.

"He was worried about you." Noah said softly. "We all were."

"What else Noah - all this would have stressed him about but what sent him running?"

"Robin you continued to refuse the surgery but after the gun incident it was becoming critical." Robin blew out her cheeks, fearing what was coming next. "There was some research to indicate a medically induced coma would reset the neuro receptors and could resovle the seizures."

"And Patrick went for that?" she asked in surprise. Seeing the look on Noah's face she realized Patrick hadn't gone for it. "Oh" was all she could manage to say.

"He wanted to consent to surgery on your behalf once you were in the coma."

"But he doesn't have my power of attorney - Brenda does"

Brenda lifted Robin's hand and kissed it. "He made a very compelling case Robin - he asked me to do it for you and for Rian. And Robin, it was the only choice - we were losing you." For the first time since it all began, Brenda let herself feel the fear she had been keeping at bay. Her hand shook in Robin's and tears streamed down her face. "I know you're mad and I know you'll think we lied to you but Robin we had to do this - we couldn't convince you otherwise and I'll understand if you can't forgive me or him but we did what was in your best interests and when talked in Paris about the power of attorney you asked me to take it because you said you knew I would do the right thing for you when you couldn't and that's what this is - it was the right thing to do and we did it and it was a hard decision and..."

Noah smiled. "Brenda, sweetheart, you may want to consider taking a breath."

Brenda exhaled. "I'm sorry" she said to both of them.

"I'm not mad" Robin said quietly.

"What?"

"I'm not mad" she repeated. "You're right Bren - I asked you to make decisions about my healthcare when I couldn't and from the sounds of the thigns, despite me being conscious I was incapable of making good decisions. So I'm not mad - if anything I love you more."

Brenda threw herself on her friend and sobbed into her shoulder. "I love you too Robs - you mean everything to me."

Noah stood up as the two women consoled each other. Walking to the foot of her bed, he pulled her chart out to make some notes. He stopped as turned the first page in the chart. If Patrick had come to see Robin it would be inevitable that he would have looked at her chart. He swore under his breath. No wonder his son was running, he was thinking he nearly killed his girlfriend.

"Noah?" Robin asked looking around Brenda and wiping tears away.

"When will I be released?"

"In two days - why?"

"Because I need to go get my boyfriend."


	149. Chapter 149

Chapter 149

"Knock knock" Nathalie said, opening Robin's door. "I have someone who'd like to see you" she smiled.

Robin sat up in bed and grinned when she saw Rian in Nathalie's arms. "Hi" she said. Nathalie walked in and placed Rian in her arms. Lowering her head, she kissed him several times. "Oh angel, mommy's missed you." She held him to her and closed her eyes, breathing in his baby scent. "You're such a beautiful boy" she murmured.

Nathalie placed a coffee on the table in front of her and sat down in the chair nearest the bed. "We made a pit stop at Kelly's"

Robin's eyes danced. "Oh thank god, I can't stand the coffee here! This will make the morning go by better."

"Noah says you're doing well."

Robin nodded, kissing Rian again. "I am - the surgery was a success." She looked over at her. "Have you seen Patrick?"

Nathalie looked at her in surprise. "You mean you haven't?"

She shook her head and motioned to the letter on the table. "He was here and he left me that but I never saw him"

"Damn him" Nathalie swore. "He asked me if I would take Rian until you got out of the hospital and then he told me he was coming to see you. I thought he had planned on actually speaking to you."

Robin smiled as Rian grabbed her hair. "Oww Rian - you're getting so strong." She gently pried his fingers from her hair. "If he had spoken to me then he wouldn't have been able to run away. I wouldn't have let him and he knows it."

"He thought you'd be furious at him."

Robin raised an eyebrow. "For the surgery?" Nathalie nodded. "But that's ridiculous, he was looking after me, I would have done the same thing."

Nathalie smirked. "I think I said those exact words to him but he didn't believe me." She sighed. "The thing is Robin, in the last 10 years Patrick hasn't made a decision or a choice for anyone but himself and he was ripped apart by having to make this one."

"I guess I was really terrible to him" she said in a small voice.

"No you weren't and I'm not telling you this so that you'll feel guilty, I just want you to know that it wasn't something he took lightly. And once he made the decision, he felt like he was betraying you and for all of Patrick's faults, and he has many" she smiled. Robin smiled in agreement. "for all of his faults, he has never willingly hurt someone. Thinking that he did that to you, the first woman he's ever loved, sent him into a tailspin."

"I get it." Robin said. "Do you know where he is?"

Nathalie shook her head. "All he said was that he needed to get away and clear his head - he didn't know who he was anymore. I know he's not in Port Charles and I've called some of his old med school friends in the city and they haven't heard from him. Did he not say where he was going in his letter?"

Robin shrugged. "I haven't read the letter."

"You haven't?" Nathalie said in surprise.

"No. I'm not sure that I'm going to. I want him back, I want our family back together and maybe he's written stuff in the letter that he'll want to take back once we talk. If I read it now, there's no taking it back - so I'll find him, we'll talk and then if he still wants me to read the letter then I will." Nathalie couldn't stop from smiling. "What?" Robin asked.

"It's nice to have you back" she said quietly.

Robin nodded. "Nathalie, tell me the truth because I don't think Noah and Brenda are being completely honest with me - how bad was it?"

Nathalie stayed quiet for a minute. "On balance Robin, it had bad moments - really bad moments. When you ran away, Patrick was frantic. The thing is, Patrick is not resilient - he likes to think he is but he's not. Each time he gets hurt, it knocks him completely backwards..."  
"Which is why he's avoided it for so long" Robin finished.

"Exactly. He's terrified of losing you - he's terrified of loss in general."

"Do you...do you think I'll be able to convince him to come back?" she asked, lying Rian down on her bed.

Nathalie exhaled quietly. "I think he'll want to" she said honestly. "But Patrick often thinks he doesn't deserve good things and so he needs to believe that he deserves you if he's going to come back."

"I can be very persuasive" Robin said confidently.

Nathalie grinned. "So I've noticed."

"It's very kind of you to take Rian on. I know you have your hands full with Grace and Oliver."

Nathalie dismissed her with a wave of her hand. "Please. Two kids, three kids - it's all the same. Besides, Patrick has been an important part of my life for a long time"

"I know and if I've..."

Nathalie cut her off. "And you are too. So I'm happy to keep Rian until you're out."

Robin looked down at her son and then over at Nathalie. "I know you've taken care of Patrick during all this - that you were where he went for support - the support I couldn't give him - thank you."

"What are friends for?" Nathalie asked, smiling. "So when do you think you'll be out?"

"Noah said last night that I only needed to stay two more days, so I guess tomorrow."

"That's great news! Why don't I come and get you and I can take you and Rian home?"

"That would be great."

"Do you know how you're going to find Patrick?"

Robin gave a knowing smile. "With two spies for parents, I have a few tricks up my sleeve. I've been waiting my whole life for someone like Patrick, I'm not going to let a little thing like distance get in the way."

Nathalie stood up. "We should let you get some rest."

Robin kissed Rian several more times. "I love you baby boy." She held him to her before passing him back to Nathalie. "See you tomorrow."

xxxxxx

"Is the blindfold really necessary?" Nathalie asked, somewhat uncomfortably

"It is" Nikolas said, leading her by the hand.

"Tell me where the kids are again?"

"Mary the nanny is at your hotel suite with Grace, Oliver, Spencer and Rian - Lulu is out and so we have this entire drafty castle to ourselves."

Nathalie swallowed. "So why am I blindfolded?"

"Have you always been this difficult?" he asked, guiding her to a chair.

"I have." She stated. "What are we doing?"

He leaned in and whispered, "Patience." The feel of his breath on her skin sent shivers through her body.

"Something smells really good" she remarked.

"All part of the surprise" he said. Nikolas smirked as he watched her squirm in her chair. He had insisted that he needed to see her right away and that he would send Mary to look after the kids. Rushing to get to Wyndermere, Nathalie had thrown on a khaki safari dress with a chunky brown belt. She chided herself for still stressing over what to wear when she saw Nikolas, considering he had already seen her naked but she found that she still wanted to make an effort.

"But why is there a surprise, I don't understand" she started. Nikolas cut her protest short with a kiss. Her lips parted immediately, giving access to his tongue. She rose slightly from her chair to get closer to him. Breaking the kiss, Nikolas pushed her back into the chair. She heard him moving about and smiled at the fragrant smell of curry and coriander that suddenly appeared before her. Walking behind her, he removed the blindfold. Blinking several times to adjust to the light, Nathalie realized they were in the kitchen of Wyndermere. The entire room was lit with candles and there was a small vase of Gerber daisies on the table along with some of the best smelling Thai food she had smelled in a while. "What...what is all this Nik?" she asked in confusion.

Sitting beside her at the small bistro table, he took her hand and played with her fingers. "Happy Birthday" he said softly.

Nathalie stared at him in shock. "How...how did you know?"

"I'm a Cassadine, there isn't much I don't know" he teased. "I figured by not mentioning it you probably didn't want a big fuss but I couldn't let the day go by without celebrating it just a little." Too stunned to speak, Nathalie tried to blink the tears away. "Oh god," Nikolas picked up on her tears "did I do something wrong?"

She shook her head and wiped at the tears. "I just...I hadn't planned on celebrating it and this...this is just lovely. Thank you" she said. Leaning over she slowly took his lips with hers. "You are quite possibly the best boyfriend ever."

Nikolas stroked her cheek. "I have it on good authority that red curry chicken with jasmine rice is your favourite dish?"

Nathalie smiled. "Did you make this?"

He laughed. "Are you mental? That's what take out is for" he teased.

"It smells amazing" she said, tucking in.

She laughed as she helped Nik maneouver his chopsticks. With his new found confidence, he took to feeding her, finding himself slightly aroused by the way she sucked the food from his chopsticks. Once dinner was done, Nikolas cleared the table and opened a bottle of champagne. He placed a flute in front of her and held his up. "To the woman who continues to amaze me with her grace, her humour, her kindness and compassion - I wish a year full of joy. Happy Birthday Nathalie." Nathalie gave him a watery smile as he caputred her lips in a tender, loving kiss. Breaking the kiss, he got down from his chair and walked over to a cupboard. Removing a slender box, he returned to the table and handed it to her.

"What's this?"

"Open it" he encouraged.

"Nikolas" she started.

"Open it" he repeated.

Staring at him, she pried the velevet box open and gasped. Lying nestled among the velvet was a thin plantinum chain with the letter N dangling from it. "Oh my god" she said. "I can't accept this, it's too much"

He shook his head. "No it's not. You deserve beautiful things and I intend on giving them to you." Standing up, he removed the necklace from the box and placed it around her neck.

Nathalie fingered the N. "It's stunning" she said breathlessly. Cupping his face, she pulled him into her, opening her mouth over his. His tongue swept into her mouth, tangling with hers. Nathalie moaned at the contact, pushing her body further into his. Nikolas slid his hands down her side, never tiring of touching her. She pulled back suddenly. "Wait" she said breathlessly.

"Wait?" he groaned.

"I have something for you" she said quietly.

"For me?"

She nodded and reached for her purse. Digging in, she removed a small square box wrapped in gold paper with a gold and red bow on top. Her hand shook slightly as she handed it to him.

"What's this?" he asked, taking it from her. "It's not my birthday."

Nathalie smiled shyly. "It's not much. I've had it in my purse for a few days. I had thought about giving it to you at the airport but...the mood was a little dampened."

Nikolas looked at her curiously and set about unwrapping it. Pulling off the top of the box, there was a piece of heavy paper folded in half. He tilted his head to one side looking at Nathalie. He was intrigued by the nervous expression on her face. Removing the paper, he opened it and his mouth fell open. "Not much?" he said licking his suddenly dry lips. He held the paper out to her. "This is worth more than anything" He turned the paper back to him and with his fingers traced her neat handwriting.

_I love you Nikolas_

He had never seen four more beautiful words on paper.

xxxx

Robin felt someone standing in the doorway. "I'm not sleeping" she said. She was sitting up with her eyes closed.

"Am I disturbing you?"

She opened her eyes. "Not at all Lulu"

Lulu came all the way into the room. "Brenda told me you were awake and I wanted to come and see you."

Robin stared at her for a moment as a torrent of memories came rushing back to her. She felt her chest tighten and her eyes fill with tears. "Oh Lulu" she croaked.

Lulu rushed to her side, taking her hand. "Is something wrong?"

Robin continued to stare at her. "Oh god - I just...my memory is spotty but it tends to come back when I see people."

Lulu understood instantly what she meant. "I'm okay Robin. I really am - you've been so good to me and Patrick too - I'm okay" she reassured her.

Robin covered her mouth with her hand. "How could I let this happen?"

She shook her head. "No - no way Robin. You had no control over the situation, it was my choice, my decision."

"You saved my life" she whispered.

Lulu squeezed her hand. "It's what we Spencers and Scorpios do for each other"

Robin sighed and closed her eyes. "I ... I don't know what to say."

"There is nothing to say" she said firmly. "You are on the road to recovery and I'm going to be fine. I"m going to be fine because you've shown me how."

She blew out her cheeks. "Lulu"

Lulu smiled. "Scoot over" she said.

"What?"

"Stop being a bed hog and scoot over"

Robin couldn't keep from smiling at how Lulu was very much a Spencer. She moved over, leaving room for Lulu to get in. She climbed in and put her arm around her friend. "You listen to me" Lulu said. "You taught me in the last few months that there is no such thing as karma - things just happen and we deal with it. I wouldn't have got through the last little while without you and Patrick so the guilt and the worry stops right now" she ordered. "We are friends bonded by crazy parents, absent fathers and now something else but all that matters is that we're friends."

Robin looked up at her. "When did you get to be so smart?"

"I'm a Spencer" she teased "It was bound to happen at some point." They lay in the bed quietly for several minutes. "Are you going to go after Patrick?" Lulu asked breaking the slience.

"'Absolutely" she said firmly.

"Need some help?"

"Absolutely" Robin repeated.

"Considering who our parents are, we should be able to pull this off."

"Did someone mention parents?" Anna asked. Robin looked up in surprise and saw both her parents standing in the doorway. Her parents looked tanned and healthy but her father looked older.

"Hello luv" Robert said.


	150. Chapter 150

Chapter 150

"Dad" Robin said quietly. "How are you?"

"Never better" he said, trying on the trademark Scorpio swagger for size. "Ms. Spencer, you look more like your mother everyday."

Lulu blushed. "Thanks Robert." She climbed out of the bed, turning to Robin. "I should go"

"You don't have to" Robin said.

"Actually Lulu" Anna interjected. "I'm craving bad coffee, care to accompany to the cafeteria?"

"Sure" she smiled. "Later Robs"

"Bye Lu" she stared at her. "Thanks for everything"

"Right back at you" Lulu said, heading out the door.

Robert closed the door behind her and walking to Robin's bed, kissed her on the cheek. "You look well luv"

Robin reached up and touched his face. "You too - are you all recovered from your gun shot?"

He sank in to the chair at her bedside. "The doctor says yes. I gotta tell ya, I'm not thrilled about being indebted the local mobsters."

She smiled at her father. "You're not - I am. Sonny and Jason did that for me Dad." She reached for his hand. "How are you, really?"

Robert sighed and had difficulty making eye contact with his daughter. "Now that I know you're okay, I'm okay"

Robin squeezed his hand. "You know that's not what I'm asking about. You came dangerously close to crossing a line..."

"Close to crossing a line?" Robert interrputed. "Sweetheart, I blew by the line the minute I grabbed him. Everything after that is just details."

She searched her father's knowing blue eyes.She knew she was the spitting image of her mother but as a child she had always wished for her father's eyes. Their shade of blue was almost crystal like and when they shone, as they often did when he looked at her, they were the most beautiful sight in the world. And when he had something to hide, as he did now, they were impossible to penetrate. "How about those details Dad?"

He smiled. "You never were one to give up when you thought you were on to something."

"Where do you imagine I got that from?"

"Your mother" he teased. "Look Robin, luv, I'm not a talk about my feelings kind of guy - you know that."

She nodded. "I do but I want to make sure you're okay."

Robert swallowed hard. The time at the island had been one of rebuilding. Despite the number of times his own life had been in danger on mission or the number of lives he had taken in the course of his work as a covert operative, he had never once made it personal to the extent he did with Bruce. As destructive as Bruce had been to his daughter's life by any work standard he would still be considered an innocent. Something broke inside of him as he held a gun to Bruce's head and he was only just putting it back together. For days Anna had been the only one who could reach him and it had been a slow process of putting the pieces back together. Robert was just not ready to talk about it yet.

"Is it enough to tell you that I'm working on it?" Robin nodded. Pulling the covers back, she slowly got out of bed and stepped towards her father. "What..what are you doing? Should you be up?"

"Yes, besides I have to get up to do this"  
"What?" he shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"This" she said wrapping her arms around him. She kissed her cheek. "You know, most parents say they would kill to protect their children but when push came to shove you proved it was more than just a saying. And while I'm glad you didn't go through with it, I"m equally glad to have my very own hero."

Momentarily too overcome to speak, Robert just held his daugther closely to him and accepted her love. "You will always be my baby girl" he whispered.

"I love you Dad."

"Me and all luv, me and all."

xxxxx

"How are you doing Lulu?" Anna asked as Lulu fidgeted with her hair.

"I'm okay - a lot better than the last time you saw me" she said confidently.

Anna smiled. The one thing she knew about teenagers was they had an innate ability to bounce back. "I'm so very glad to hear it."

Lulu nodded. "I still have my moments but Robin's been good at showing me that it gets better everyday."

"My daughter is very remarkable" Anna took a drink of the bad coffee.

"She is - does she get that from you?" Lulu asked.

Anna's cheeks blushed deep crimson for the first time in years. "I would like to take credit for that but I'm afraid that's more Mac's influence than mine. You and Robin are very similar you know."

"Because we both have HIV?"

Anna leaned forward and took her hand. "No not because of that. You are alike because you both had unconventional upbringings and took the very best of your parents and used it to become truly amazing young women. I am enormously proud of my daughter and I have no doubt your mother would be proud of you."

"Do you really think so?" Lulu asked earnestly. "I mean the last time she saw me I was just a kid..."

"Lesley Lu" Anna said kindly "All parents want for their children is for them to grow up to be contributing members of society and to be happy. In one moment you made a lifetime of contribution and so now all we need is for you to be happy."

Lulu looked at the cafeteria table. "I'm trying"

"How is that going?"

She shrugged. "I think I may have figured out some courses I would like to take at college."

"That's great Lulu - I know that you can do whatever you set your mind to."

"Except get a boyfriend" she grumbled.

Anna smiled. "Lulu everyone worries about whether they will find someone to love them."

"Yeah but not everyone has the same hurdles." Taking a deep breath Lulu told Anna about the incident at Jake's that set her on the path to swallowing a handful of pills. Anna listened, her heart breaking that someone could be so insensitive and hateful to someone with as big a heart as Lulu. She wished it was the first time she had heard such a story but her own daughter had had her share of vile stories over the year.

"Well I have two things to say to that" Anna said.

"Oh?" Lulu asked, somewhat amused by Anna's demeanor.

"First of all, do not, do NOT let this guy close you off to the possibility of love. Robin is proof that love and HIV are not mutually exclusive. You will find someone who loves you because you are beautiful, kind and generous. The HIV will be something you will deal with together."

She blushed. She had longed for this kind of mother bear talk for years. Her grandmother had tried but Lulu had been so angry about her father being absent and her mother being sick that she spent most of her time acting out. All she wanted was to have someone in her corner. "What's the second thing?"

"If this ever happens again, you must call me immediately. I will bring a world of hurt to anyone who treats you like that."

Lulu smiled, surprised to find tears in her eyes. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything love."

"Would it be okay to give you a hug?"

Anna smiled and hopped out of her chair, taking Lulu in her arms. "Of course it is. You are a wonder Lulu"

Lulu held on to her tightly, grateful for the maternal warmth. Finally breaking the embrace, she wiped at her eyes. "Robin is going to go find Patrick when she gets out and I promised I would help her."

Grinning, Anna said "Sounds like you guys could benefit from my spy experience. Why don't we go round up Robert and Robin and start a plan of attack?"

Lulu nodded. "We better call Brenda too - she'll want to be part of this."

"Sounds like it's time to get Operation Bring Patrick Home underway


	151. Chapter 151

Chapter 151

Nathalie pulled the car into the driveway. "Ready?"

Robin inhaled deeply and nodded. Having been released from the hospital earlier that morning Robin had been anxious to get home. Now, sitting in the driveway she was momentarily paralyzed by fear. "It's going to be weird."

"Being in the house without him?"

"Yeah. The house is going to so empty and quiet without him."

Nathalie bit back a smile. "I'm not sure that will be entirely the case."

Robin looked at her quizzically before finally getting out of the car. Taking her bag, Nathalie followed Robin up the walkway and nearly ran into her as she stopped in teh doorway. "Wha...what is all this?" she turned to Nathalie.

Nathalie shrugged. "Operation Bring Patrick Home" she smiled.

Robin stepped through the door and stood in amazement at the hive of activity around her. There were phones ringing and a fax machine spitting out paper. Both of her parents were on the phone with Lulu manning the fax machine. Noah was making lunch and Nik and Brenda were feeding the expanding brood of children. "Hello?" Robin said. There was no answer.

"Anna, do you have that credit report?" Robert asked.

"Which one - Amex or Visa?"

"The Amex one just came through by fax" Lulu said passing the paper to Robert.

"I just need you to confirm that he was on the flight" Anna barked down the phone. "I gave you my i.d. number - do you think I'd be asking you to do this is if it wasn't government business?"

"Um, hello?" Robin repeated.

"Nik - are you good at changing diapers?" Brenda asked.

"Why?"

"I think Rian is close to overflowing."

"Don't you know how to change a diaper Brenda?"

"Why would I know how to change diapers Prince Cutie Pie? I don't do diapers" she asserted.

Robin shook her head and looked at Nathalie. "Am I even needed here?"

"Are you kidding?" she laughed. "You're the lynchpin keeping this motley crue together."

"You know, I'm not sure how I feel about them being together."

The shrill ring of a telephone cut through the noise as Robert reached for it. "Scorpio." He paused. "Mac? Great - any leads, is his car still at the airport?"

"You know, we could just leave and they'd never know" Robin teased.

"I'll get their attention" Nathalie said. Putting her fingers in her mouth she let out an ear piercing whistle. "HEY!" she said. Everyone stopped in their tracks and turned to face her. "Robin's home" she said quietly.

Anna ran towards her and wrapped her daughter in her arms. "Hello sweetie - no not you Mr. Andrews, I'm talking to my daughter...yes I can too conduct government business while spending time with my family, it's called work/life balance!...fine call me when you have something." She snapped her phone shut. "How are you love?"

"I'm fine, I'm just a little shocked that my house has been turned into the world headquarters of Freaks R Us."

Brenda walked to Robin and passed Rian to her. "I'm more a quirky girl than a freak and I think he needs his diaper changed. Welcome home!"

Robin held Rian close to her. "Hi baby boy, mommy's home" She kissed the top of his head. Feeling his squish against her arm, she paused before lowering her face to smell his diaper. Crinkling her nose and pulling away quickly in disgust, she looked at Brenda. "Did you change him at all?"

"Define at all? I mean those things are pretty absorbent - how often do they really need to be changed?"

Robin shook her head. Nathalie held out her arms. "I'll change him, why don't you go sit down and just take a few moments. I'll bring him back down in a jiffy."

Robin smiled gratefully. "Thanks Nat." She walked to the kitchen and slid into a seat beside her father.

"Hi sweetheart" he kissed the top of her head. "You look well."

"What is all this?" she asked wondrously.

"Operation Bring.." Lulu started

"Patrick Home, yes yes but seriously - what is all this?"

Noah put a sandwich in front of her. "Grilled cheese?"

"Okay whoa!" Robin said. Everyone quietened for a second time. "Oooh, this smells good Noah" she said, suddenly realizing how hungry she was.

"An army marches on its stomach" he said, returning to the fry pan.

"Tell me again what this army is for?" she said, her mouth full of sandwich.

"We're going to find out where Patrick is and then we're going to help you go get him" Brenda said, sitting down next to her friend and taking a part of sandwich.

"You're all going to go get him?" she asked in amusement.

"Well of course" Robert said "You don't know what you're facing - you could need my skills..."

"And since he's old, my skills will be handier" Anna said.

"And you might need a doctor" Noah added.

"And I have a jet" Nik said coming into the room.

"And you two" Robin pointed to Lulu and Brenda "What are your roles?"

"To look cute" they replied in unison.

Robin put her head in her hands. "Oh brother. Don't you think Patrick's going to be a little overwhelmed if we all show up together?"

"We thought about that" Anna said. "and obviously you'll do all the talking but we'll be there as back up."

Robin looked over at Noah "And you're going along with this?"

"Of course" he smiled. "Back up is a good thing"

"We just need to find where he is" Robert said, reviewing the latest fax.

"But I know..."

"Don't worry Robs" Brenda said "with all this brainpower, it won't take us anytime to find him"

"But I know..."

"It's okay love" Anna interrputed "by the end of the day, we will know where he is - don't you fret"

"I'm not fretting, I know..."

"It's good to be positive" Noah said. "Positive is good"

"It's just" Robin tried again "I know..."

"Now now love" Robert patted her leg. "Don't tire yourself out"

"Am I going to have to put you all in time out?" Nathalie said loudly coming into the kitchen. She placed Rian in Robin's arms.

"You're hot when you're bossy" Nik said.

"Eww Nik" Lulu jumped in "I'm sitting right here"

Nathalie held up her hands. "Hey! Robin is trying to say something."

She smiled gratefully again at Nathalie. "I know where Patrick is"

"What? Where?" Noah said quickly.

"He's in Australia" she said quietly.

"I don't think so love" Robert said "So far his Amex is only showing a ticket to California."

The fax machine spit out a series of papers. Lulu picked them up. "But his Visa shows a ticket from LA to Sydney"

"Australia it is!" Anna said.

"It'll be like going home" Robert said.

"How soon can the jet be ready to go?" Noah asked Nik

"As soon as Robin is ready."

Robin looked around the room and for a moment was lost in the love. All these people, these most important people to her and Patrick had come together because of their belief in Robin and Patrick as a couple and as a family. She knew know it was not a question of if Patrick would be back in her arms but when.

She hugged Rian to her, kissing his cheeks. "Rian and I are ready now" she said.


	152. Chapter 152

Chapter 152

Robin held Rian to her as the plane climbed into the air. It was near midnight by the time they took off. Nikolas had had his jet on standby the entire time and only needed a few hours to file a flight plan. He also arranged for his nanny to take care of Grace, Oliver and Spencer. Her father and mother had tracked down the hotel he was staying at and started to make reservations for everyone. Nathalie intervened and suggested they stay at another hotel so as not to overwhelm Patrick and Noah had agreed. Robin had been grateful for her intervention. The house had been filled with people who loved her and would do anything for her. But Nathalie and Noah had Patrick's interests at heart and that meant so much to her.

She looked around the cabin, smiling at the odd assortment of people who had clamoured together to make it happen. Lulu was flipping through a magazine with Brenda, disagreeing over fashion choices. Her father had lost his battle with sleep and was practically snoring in his chair. Anna sat in the chair next to him, watching him. Robin smiled at the sight. Her parents were proof that while the marriage didn't work, the love remained. Noah sat alone on the leather couch, absently turning the pages of a medical journal. Robin could see the toll all of this had taken on both of their fathers. Robert had aged and Noah looked tired. She hoped that Australia would be a time of renewal for all of them. Nathalie was curled up on the other couch with her head on Nik's shoulder; he was playing with her hair. Nathalie caught Robin looking at her and winked. Robin grinned in return.

Rian shifted in her arms and she looked down at her sleeping baby. Her heart came close to exploding with love every time she held him. She had no idea that someone so small could bring such pure, unadulterated joy in to her life. All she was missing to complete the picture was Patrick. Leaning back into her chair she thought about the first time they had met. He had been inflagrante with a nurse on the operating table when she busted through the doors. She had dismissed him as a lightweight on the spot. She bullied him into taking Jason's case by calling his abilities into question. It had been a cheap trick but had worked in just the way she imagined it would. He was quite clearly nothing more than a shallow, arrogant man who did things only for the fulfillment of his ego. She had never been so happy to be wrong in all her life.

He had pursued her relentlessly when he came to General Hospital. He always seemed to show up where she was and could never resist an opportunity for a ridiculous come on. She smiled as she remembered the day he threatened to move on from her and she begged him to do so. He had warned her that she would be sorry if he did and he was right. She had come to like the attention from him. Having long buried herself in work in Paris it was nice to be the object of affection or intention as it were. She had no plans on ever following through with him. It was only going to be a matter of time, if she went out with him, before she would have to tell him about her HIV. Nothing like a deadly disease transmitted through sex to send a lifelong playboy scurrying in the other direction. It was not the last time Robin would be surprised by him. The few times she had dated in Paris had inevitably resulted in her partner pulling away before things got physical or finding an excuse to end things soon after they did once the reality of being with an HIV+ person had hit them. Rejection had become part of the experience for her and she had no reason to believe it would be any different with Patrick.

The first time she had truly got the measure of him was when the encephalitis outbreak hit Port Charles. Amidst all the chaos in the early hours, he had sought her out and tried to convince her to leave, fearing for her health. In typical Patrick fashion, he tried to strong arm her into leaving. That moment, where he told her if she didn't get in the elevator, he would carry her, was the beginning of a seismic shift in their relationship. She had been moved by him as she watched him work, making difficult decisions, decisions that no one should ever have to make. And then the virus hit her and he was like a dog with a bone. He barked orders about her care, her room, who could see her including at one point ordering her own father out of her room if he continued to upset her. She had a hazy recollection of those panic-filled days but remembered him being at her bedside often, probably more often than he should have been relative to his responsibilities.

There had been several more stumbling blocks and misunderstandings along the way before they finally got together. Robin had continued to run from him but he would never let her get too far away. She had been terrified that he would reject her but equally terrified that he wouldn't. Having closed herself off for so long she had difficulty seeing what he saw in her. He pushed her buttons, picked on her and wouldn't let her hide. His attention made her uncomfortable but she wanted it just the same. He offered hope and it paralyzed her. He didn't know, he couldn't understand the power of what he was offering her and what it would do to her if he snatched it away as had been done before.

The night that Sam McCall was shot, he proved that he had much more depth than she gave him credit for. He had no idea of the life she had lived, of how precious safety was to her. He knew that she had dated Jason but until Sam had been shot that night Robin was sure he hadn't comprehended exactly how dangerous dating Jason was. She had sought refuge on the roof because there were too many feelings, too many memories based in fear that had come crashing back. She was amazed that he had sought her out, that he had even noticed that she wasn't around. But at the same time they had become very good at being just where the other person needed them to be. He listened to her as she spoke about the murder of her grandmother before her eyes, her hatred of violence and how having taken the biggest risk of all, with her heart, she would live with the consequences for the rest of her life. All she had been looking for was a place to feel safe. She could still feel his arms around her. It had been the first time that she had let him see a part of her completely unguarded and where a real playboy, someone just in it for the rewards could have taken advantage, Patrick didn't. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. If she were ever to be asked the moment she started to fall in love with him, that would be it.

Her cheeks flushed as she remembered the night at the cabin where they slept together for the first time. She knew something changed for him that night, she saw it on his face. Patrick had made her feel so beautiful and desired that even thinking about it still made her dizzy. With the first taste of him Robin knew that she would never get enough, she would always want to feel like she did when she was with him. Whether he knew it or not, he had opened his heart to her that night and there was no going back. He had such capacity for love but didn't know it. She wanted to show him that it was okay, that loving someone else didn't mean losing yourself – if only he would let her.

She looked down at Rian and touched his face. He looked more like Patrick every day. They had made him together and while he hadn't been planned, he had been conceived in love. She just needed to remind him of that. She had told him once that he was the love of a lifetime and she meant it. Patrick was her partner in every way that mattered and she wasn't willing to go a day longer without him.

"We're going to get Daddy" she whispered to her son "and bring him home where he belongs."


	153. Chapter 153

Chapter 153

Robin got up from her chair and walked over to her mother. "Hey mom"

Anna stretched out her legs. "Hi love - all good?"

Robin nodded. "I was wondering if you'd like to hold Rian for a while?"

Anna thrust her arms out immediately. "Does the Pope poop in the Vatican?"

Robin arched an eyebrow. "Pardon?"

She giggled. "Just give me my beautiful grandbaby, you've been hogging him for far too long" Robin placed him in her arms and kissed her mother on the cheek.

Straightening up, she couldn't help but smile as Anna fussed and made faces. Her mother was at her softest when she was fussing with Rian and Robin treasured every moment over it. Walking over to the couch, she sat down beside Nathalie. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked quietly.

Nathalie straightened up and turned to face Robin. Nikolas smiled. "I'm going to go talk to the pilot" he said getting up.

"Oh Nikolas, you don't have to leave on my account."

He smiled at her. "I do actually have to speak with the pilot so no worries."

Nathalie tilted her head. "What's up?"

"Do you promise to tell me the truth?" Robin asked.

"Always." Nathalie looked at Robin in concern. "What do you need to know?"

Robin licked at her lips. She had been absolutely confident about going after Patrick but she had one question still eating at her. She knew that if she asked her mother or Brenda they would tell her what she wanted to hear but Nathalie would tell it as she saw it. "Do you think there's any chance that Patrick won't want to come home? That he doesn't want to be with me?"

She inhaled quietly. "Robin, truthfully, there isn't a chance Patrick doesn't want to be with you. My guess is his world is feeling pretty small without you and Rian but he doesn't think he can come home because he thinks you're furious with him." Robin nodded. "You just are going to have to be patient and let him know that it's okay, that everything is okay."

Robin smiled. "So no sudden movements?"

She chuckled lightly. "Exactly. Robin, Patrick doesn't think he deserves you, you have to let him know that he is"

"Thanks Nat."

"Do you have a plan?"

She nodded. "It's still in progress, so far it involves me showing up at his door"

"You going to wing it from there?"

"Pretty much" Robin smiled.

xxxxx

Brenda walked over to the couch that Noah was sitting on and flopped down beside him. "Hi Daddy Drake" she said brightly.

Noah looked up from his medical journal in amusement. "Brenda. How are you?"

Leaning against the arm of the couch, she tucked her legs up underneath her. "I'm bored. Australia's a long flight."

"Have you been before?" he asked.

"A few times but just for photo shoots - in and out really quickly." She moved closer to him. "How about you?"

He shook his head. "I've always wanted to go but never had the chance."

"Well then this will be fun!" She rubbed the leather on the couch. "I just love private jets don't you?"

Noah reached for his club soda. "It may ruin me for commercial travel forever"

"So tell me Original Hottie, are you part of the mile high club?"

Noah choked on his drink. "Par..pardon?" he stammered.

"Mile high club, you know where you have..."

He held his hands up. "I'm familiar with the concept Brenda, I'm just not sure why you think I would be a part of it?"

"Come on" she exclaimed. "You're a hot guy, I bet you have tons of women chasing you"

Noah shook his head. "You're confusing me with my son."

"Nuh-uh - your son has one woman chasing him and if it's more than that, I'm removing his kidneys through his nose."

He smirked. "Bodyguard work is all part of the best friend job description"

"Damn straight" Brenda confirmed.

The pilot came over the intercom, cutting off any further conversation. "Ladies and Gentleman, please fasten your seatbelts and prepare for our descent to Brisbane."

xxxxx

Noah, Nik and Robert checked everyone in and helped them up to their rooms. Robert had managed to track down Patrick's hotel with little difficulty. Brenda stood in the lobby looking around. "Seriously, Versace have their own hotel?"

Robin grabbed her friends arm. "You can pay homage later we need to get settled and I need you to help me get ready."

The women gathered in Robin's room helping her pick just the perfect outfit. They decided on a white halter dress and a pair of gold heels. Moving on to Rian, they picked a pair of khaki shorts and red polo shirt. Lulu insisted on dressing Rian and took great delight in tickling his skin and playing with him as she got him dressed. Robin sank to the bed and let out a big sigh.

"Nervous Robs?" Brenda asked.

She shook her head. "Patrick and I belong together, it's as simple as that. I love him and nothing will change that."

"What is it then, honey - you seem concerned." Anna sat beside her daughter taking her hand.

"I miss him. I don't think I realized how much I missed him until we got here."

"Are you sure you don't want us to go with you?" Brenda asked.

Robin giggled. "I'm sure. Besides I'm not sure Patrick is ready to hear that you asked if his father was part of the mile high club." Nathalie coughed in shock and Lulu's mouth fell open.

"What?" she protested. "It's a harmless question."

"Right, that's why his father has opted to snorkeling with my father rather than spend anytime near us womenfolk." Lulu brougth Rian to Robin. "Gosh Lu, he looks adorable!"

"I just dressed him, those are your genes" she replied.

"Wait until your daddy gets a load of you" she said kissing Rian on his cheek.

"Are you heading over now love?" Anna asked.

Robin let out a slow breath. "I think I'm just going to take a few minutes, have some quiet time with Rian and then we'll head over."

Anna wrapped her in her arms. "Good luck darling, call us if you need us."

"Thanks Mom"

Brenda kissed her on his cheek. "Everything is going to be fine"

Lulu hugged her and kissed Rian. "Good luck Robin"

They all headed for the door while Nathalie hung back. She sat down beside Robin. "I'm not going to wish you luck" she said quietly.

"No?"

"You don't need it" she replied confidently. "Whatever happens, just don't forget that he loves you."

Robin nodded. "See you when I see you, I guess."

"Bye Robin."

xxxxxx

Nathalie sat alone on the beach. The sun had set well over an hour ago but she couldn't resist the pull of the ocean and the way the waves lapped at the sand. There was an energy around an ocean that was soothing. She watched as couples walked hand in hand with their feet splashing in the shallow water. Seagulls flew over head and the din from the boardwalk bars echoed in the background. The moon was bright and the sky was blanketed with stars. She sighed. For the first time in her life she wasn't trying to control everything, she was letting the universe unfold as it wished.

Lost in thought she flinched only slightly as she felt a pair of arms go around her. She leaned back into the familiar warmth. "Mmmm" she said. "Hi"

"Hi?" Nikolas said. "How did you know it was me and not some beefy bleach blonde Australian?"

"I would get lucky either way" she teased. "Names aren't important."

He nipped her neck. "You're a brat" Letting her head fall to the side, opening her neck up to him, she moaned as he traced tiny circles with his tongue. "I love the way you taste" he said against her skin.

Nathalie ran her hands along his bare legs, letting them slip under his shorts. He pushed in closer to her, his arousal rubbing up against her. "Where did that come from?" she asked huskily.

Sliding his hands under her tshirt, he massaged her breasts. Her breath hitched as he pinched her nipples. Feeling them harden, he slipped his hands inside her bra and flicked them with his fingers. "You - you have no idea what you do to me."

Nathalie dropped her head back against his shoulder and turning, reached for his lips. He brought his mouth down on hers, sweeping his tongue in her mouth. Nathalie sucked on it greedily. Finally breaking the kiss, gasping for air, she turned to him. "Do you have something in your wallet?"

Continuing to knead her breasts he gave her a heated look. "Here?" he asked, panting.

She shook her head. "Over there" she nodded towards the covered area under the boardwalk. Standing up she pulled him to his feet. "I need to have you now" she stated firmly. He wrapped his arms around her and walked behind her. "Why are we walking like this?" she asked. He poked her with his hard on. "Ah" she said. "Fair enough."

They walked quickly underneath the pier and Nikolas pushed her up against a pillar. Claiming her mouth with his, he probed his mouth with his tongue while she stroked his erection through his shorts. Straining against the material, she could feel the wet spot created by his pre-cum. Unzipping his shorts, she reached inside and took hold of his arousal. He hissed as he felt her hand close around him. Slowly tracing his hands along her thighs as he nibbled at her fleshy ear lobe, he pushe her skirt over her hips and stopped as he felt her damp centre. "No...no panties" he choked.

She smiled seductively. "Panties are for wim..." she gasped as he nestled a finger in between her folds. "Jesus Nik" she panted as she pushed her hips into his hand. He sucked on the hollow of her neck as he put a second finger inside and began to pump his hand while she stroked him. Beginning to clench around his fingers, she pushed his hand away. "Condom" she ordered.

Reaching into his back pocket he pulled out his wallet. As he did so, Nathalie sank to her knees and closed her mouth around his throbbing cock. Nearly dropping his wallet as he felt her warm heat, he leaned forward to support himself on the pillar. "Nathalie" he hissed. She continued to bob her head up and down his length as he bit his lip to keep from crying out. Tightening, he carefully pulled out of her and Nathalie let him go with a loud pop, smiling saucily as she did so. Rising up, she braced herself against the pillar as he sheathed himself. Eyes hooded with desire and all pretence of gentleness gone, Nikolas drove into her, driven by need. Nathalie lifted her leg and hooked it around his hip opening further to him. They locked eyes as he continued to thrust. Moving his thumb around in circles on her clit, he heard her gasp as his touch sent electricity through her body. Feeling her walls constrict around him, Nikolas began to fall over the edge. Nathalie came off the pillar and bit down on his shoulder as her entire body shook with wave after wave of her orgasm. Thrusting one last time, Nikolas emptied into the condom and collapsed against her. Nathalie ran her hands through his hair.

"I think I'm going to like Australia" she said breathlessly.

xxxx

Having received confirmation from the concierge that Patrick was indeed in his room, Robin paced the hallway near his door with Rian asleep in her arms. Not nervous, she was unsure of what she would find and wondered if it would have been better if she had called. At her hotel she had picked up the phone on several occassions before finally biting the bullet and walking over to his hotel. Taking a deep breath she walked to his room and knocked on the door. Waiting several seconds and not getting any answer, Robin knocked again, this time more insistently.

"I'm coming, keep your pants on" he grumbled padding to the door.

Patrick opened the door and blinked several times as he tried to understand that Robin and Rian were standing in front of him.

Robin smiled shyly at him. "We miss you and it's time to come home."


	154. Chapter 154

Chapter 154

Chapter 154

Patrick continued to stare at her wondering if he was having a vision. He opened his mouth to speak but couldn't find any air in his lungs so he just stared.

Robin's smile grew more confident. "It's really us Patrick" she said quietly. She practically drank him in. He had a crumpled pale blue t-shirt on and battered jeans. Given the way the jeans hung low on his hips Robin could tell that he hadn't been eating. He had several days growth on his face. Reaching out, Robin touched his arm. "Patrick?"

"It's.." he swallowed. "It's really you?"

She nodded. Lowering her hand from his arm, she took his hand and led them both into the room. A quick sweep of the room showed that Patrick had been spending most of his time in Surfers' Paradise drinking. "Having a party?" she asked motioning to the several beer bottles cluttering the desk.

Patrick sank to the bed and rubbed his hands through his hair. He blew out an unsteady breath. "I, uh..." The nearness of her made it difficult for him to form a complete thought.

Robin could feel his pain oozing from him and gently sat down beside him. Rian had begun to wake from his nap. He stretched out his arms and let out a tiny cry. Robin held him out to Patrick. "I think your son wants to say hi" she said. She heard his breathing become shallow as he stared at Rian.

He put up his arms and took him from Robin. He stared into Rian's brown eyes and felt his own fill with tears. "Hi little man" he whispered. Rian gave him a toothless smile. Patrick looked at Robin in surprise. "When, when did he start doing that?"

"Just the other day." Robin replied, not taking her eyes from him.

Patrick touched his plump cheeks and Rian squealed in delight. Patrick laughed in spite of himself and held Rian to his shoulder, covering his cheek in kisses. The warmth emanating from his son seemed to pull him from his fog and he turned to Robin again. "Robin!" he exhaled.

She rubbed his shoulder. "Hi there" she smiled, feeling her own eyes fill with tears.

"You're okay" he said swallowing back a sob.

She nodded. "I am and Rian's okay and all we need is you." There was such intense vulnerability in his eyes that Robin thought it would take her breath away.

"I let you down" he said quietly, hanging his head in shame.

Reaching out, she lifted his chin. "You did not let me down, Patrick, you saved me. You did exactly what you were supposed to do."

Patrick stood up and began to pace. "I lied to you" he said as much to himself as he did to you. "I lied and manipulated you to get what I wanted."

Robin jumped off the bed. "What you wanted? Patrick, honey, you did what needed to be done." Walking over to him, she stood in front of him and grabbed hold of his waist. "You did exactly what I would have done, what I would have wanted you to do if I had had any clue as to how sick I was."

He looked at her almost disbelievingly. "Real..really?"

"Yes. Really" she said emphatically. "I am so sorry"

He did a double take. "Sorry? Why are you sorry?"

Robin looked around the room and saw the enormous balcony off his suite. "Why don't we go sit outside?"

Still unsure, Patrick let her take his hand and lead them outside. She moved the chairs so they would be sitting close together. Both putting their feet up on the railing, they sat silently for a few minutes staring out at the surf in the moonlight. Robin kept hold of his hand while he held Rian against his knee.

"I'm sorry that you had make those decisions and that I scared you so much. I'm sorry about the gun" Robin's voice caught as she spoke. "I'm sorry if you for a minute felt that I didn't love you completely with every piece of my heart but most of all, I'm sorry that you had to go through that at all." Robin watched his face and saw him struggle to bite back the tears. She rubbed his hand. "It's okay Patrick, I'm back and I won't leave you again."

"Promise?" he whispered.

She exhaled. "I promise."

Losing the battle against his tears, he turned to face her. "I ran away" he stated.

Reaching up, she stroked his face. "I know you did but we found you."

"I thought I had lost myself"

"Did you think you'd find yourself here?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. I just wanted to find that place where it felt normal again and we had talked about coming here and so I thought if I was here I might, I just might feel normal again."

"And did you?" she asked, knowing the answer.

"The only normal is with you and Rian." He exhaled loudly. "If I ever had any doubt that you guys were my life, I don't anymore"

Robin couldn't stop from smiling. "Does that mean you'll come home with us?"

He hung his head again. "Do you...do you want me to?"

Robin stood up and walked around to the far side of his chair. Taking Rian from his arm, she sat on his lap and cradled Rian between them. "Patrick Drake, you fought for me - you fought for our family and you didn't give up until it was all fixed. If I wasn't already hopelessly, completely, intoxicatingly in love with you I would be now." Leaning in, she tenderly pulled his lips in to hers as if tasting him for the first time. Patrick closed his eyes allowing the feeling of the kiss to seemingly wake him up.

He rested his forehead against hers. "Do you forgive me?" he asked.

She lovingly stroked his cheek with her thumb. "There is nothing to forgive. When we tell Rian about this time of our life the story is about how his daddy did the heoric thing, the courageous thing to ensure we could be a family once again."

Patrick ran his hand through her hair and let it trail down the side of her neck until it rested on her shoulder, as if touching her to see if was real. "Robin" he said, not quite meeting her eyes. Looking up, he saw the brown pools that he had allowed himself to get lost in so many times before. And the love and safe haven that had been there before was there again. "I love you Robin" he paused. "I actually don't have words to tell you how much I love you."

Pulling on his t-shirt, Robin brought him closer to her and opened her mouth over his. He parted his lips and gave her tongue access as she tangled it with his. The kiss was hot and intense and he could get enough of her. Like a thirsty man suddenly finding an oasis, he wanted to kiss her until he was full. He moaned lightly as she nipped at his bottom lip. Leaning in further, she nuzzled his neck.

"I love you too Patrick"

Tilting her head back, Patrick seized her lips again, coaxing them apart to gain access to her mouth. He gasped as she sucked hungrily on his tongue. Finally coming for air, she rested her head on his shoulder, panting.

"There's one more thing we need to talk about" she said.

He traced his fingers along the back of her neck. "What's that?"

Robin reached into her pocket. "This" she said, holding up the ruby ring.


	155. Chapter 155

Chapter 155

Chapter 155

The ruby looked like it was on fire as the moonlight bounced off of it. Patrick looked from the ring to Robin and back. "Where did you get that?" he asked quietly.

"Is it for me?" Robin smiled

Patrick nodded wordlessly. "Where did you get it?"

"I guess you were in a hurry to catch your flight because you left a pair of jeans crumpled on the floor. I picked them up to put them in the hamper and when I emptied the pockets, I found this."

He licked his lip nervously. "I uh…um…I had carried it with me for a while."

Snuggling her head in closer to the crook of his neck, she stared at it. "It's really pretty."

"I found it one day when I was out running and the minute I saw it, I knew it had to be yours." His fingers continued to play with the hair at the back of her neck. "I just didn't get a chance to give it to you."

They sat in silence, listening to the waves crash against the shore and staring at the ring. Patrick lowered his head onto hers and sighed deeply. He couldn't quite believe that she was in his arms again.

"Patrick?"

"Mmm-hmm?"

"Was there anything you wanted to ask me?"

"No – this is perfect."

Robin rolled her eyes. Clearly the few days they had spent apart had dulled his senses. "The ring, Patrick – is there anything you wanted to ask me about the ring?"

"What? I thought you said you liked it?"

Robin sat up straight and turned to face him. "I do like it, I love it, it's beautiful. I'm just a little confused."

"Confused about what?"

She shook her head, suppressing a smile. "Well, for example, what finger am I supposed to wear it on?"

He narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean what finger are you supposed to wear it on? You're supposed to wear it on your ring finger because that's where engagement rings go."

Robin bit her lip trying to stifle a laugh. "Oh, are we engaged?"

Patrick opened his mouth to answer until he realized he hadn't actually asked her. "Oh crap" he shook his head. "So much for the big romantic proposal."

Robin giggled. "Well we've never been a traditional couple so why should we start now?"

"But this is embarrassing! In my defense, I had asked you so many times in my head I just figured that at least one of those times had actually been out loud."

She pressed her lips against his. "You're cute when you're scatter-brained."

"Thanks" he mumbled against her lips. Nibbling on her lips, he moved to deepen the kiss when she put her hands on his chest.

"Patrick?"

"Yes Robin?"

"Did you want to ask me now?"

His cheeks flushed crimson. "I can't just ask you now. There's no romance, there's no spontaneity and there is clearly no surprise."

She threaded her fingers through his hair. "But see, if you were to ask me now, it's entirely possible I already know the answer and I wouldn't need days or weeks to think about it."

He narrowed his eyes. "Are you saying you would otherwise need days or weeks to think about it?"

Robin grinned. "Well you know me, I like to over think things, view it from all possible angles, examine every option."

"And you don't need to right now?"

She shook her head. "Call it moonlight madness but I'd be ready to just go with it – no need to phone a friend, poll the audience whatever – I'm ready with my final answer. All I need is the question."

"Don't you want something a little more….I don't know, fairytale like? Flowers? Romantic dinner?"

She ran her hand down his chest. "I don't need a fairytale Patrick" she said throatily, her voice catching. "All I need is you."

Patrick stared at the ground for several minutes before finally meeting her eyes. He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Robin Scorpio, you are the most annoying person I know" She slapped him on the chest "Oww – no hitting."

"This – this is how your proposal is going to start – I'm the most annoying person in the world? I know I said I don't need a fairytale but you're pushing it…"

He silenced her with a kiss. Pulling back he smirked. "I was actually going somewhere with that but thanks for proving my point."

"I hate you" she teased.

"I know. Now can we go back to me and what I was saying?"

She sighed exaggeratedly. "Fine, fine. I'm the most annoying person you know."

He gazed deeply in her eyes. "Yes you are. But you are also the bravest, most compassionate and giving person I have ever met. When I was convinced I didn't know how to love, you showed me. You opened that gorgeous, enormous heart and let me take up residence there. You've loved me when I've been an ass"

"No easy task" she snorted.

"Hello? Still talking here."

"Carry on" she said sheepishly.

"And you've loved me when I could barely love myself. Somewhere in all of that we also managed to produce this beautiful son of ours. I have never felt for another person what I feel for you. I want to continue to build this family and this life that we've started. So, I'm wondering, if you're not too busy, would you spend the rest of your life with me?"

Robin's eyes misted over and she felt her heart leap into her throat. She had known his intentions the minute she found the ring. It was one of the things that made her determination to find him and bring him home all the greater. But to hear him ask her, to hear him express his heart in such an open way moved her in ways she didn't expect. She stared at his big brown eyes and stroked his brow with her thumb. "I never thought that this would be my life but now that it is I can't imagine it any other way. Somehow you've become a part of my soul and I can't conceive of living a life without you. So yes" the tears tumbled quietly down her face. "I will spend the rest of my life with you."

Grinning at her, his own tears near spilling, he looked down at Rian. "Did you hear that little man? Your mom and I are getting married!" Leaning in, he captured her lips in a soft, tender kiss. He ran his tongue along her lips before closing his mouth over hers. Robin cupped his face with her hands, pulling his as close to her as she could. Her tongue tangled with his as they continued to kiss until they were breathless.

"I, uh" he panted "I, uh, suppose I should put that ring on your finger"

She held out a shaky hand. "If you want to"

Taking the ring from her other hand, he looked at her with all the love he had. "I really, really want to." Pushing the ring on, he held her hand once it was in place. "Have I mentioned I love you?"

"Maybe once or twice but it never hurts to hear it again."

"I love you" he said, kissing her lips. "I love you" he repeated.

Robin stroked his face and smiled. "What would you think about getting married here?"

"What?" he asked, shocked.

"Here, in Australia – on the beach. What would you think if we did that in the next couple of days?"

"I'd be all for it but Robin, what about our friends and family. I'm fairly confident your mother and Brenda would kill me if we got married without them to witness it and do all the girly things they like to do. And frankly, I'm not sure who I'm more afraid of – Brenda's kind of shifty."

Robin giggled. "About our friends and family – there's something I need to tell you."


	156. Chapter 156

Chapter 156

Chapter 156

Patrick scratched his face. "I wish you had let me shave" he grumbled as he and Robin walked hand in hand to the Versace hotel.

"You're kind of sexy like that" she said quietly.

He arched an eyebrow. "Are you trying to seduce me Dr. Scorpio?"

"Not yet but soon" she smiled seductively. Patrick stopped walking as they approached the front doors of the hotel. Robin turned to look at him. "What is it?"

"Is there a chance that anyone in there is going to kill me?" he asked, half-jokingly.

Robin stifled a giggle. "No - everyone in there loves you."

"No" he corrected. "everyone in there loves you. Some of the people in there love me."

"Patrick - they love you - they love us and they are going to be thrilled when we tell them our news."

"Is Nathalie telling them why we want to see them all together?"

She shook her head. "Nope - just that you're coming over. She's already got Nik working on securing permits, justice of the peace and a caterer."

"Is Brenda going to be annoyed that you told someone before her?"

"There is no reason for Brenda to know Patrick Drake" Robin said defensively.

"Oh really" he wiggled his eyebrows. "You mean I have something on you?"

"Sweetie?"

"Yes?"

"Do you ever want to have sex with me again?"

"Yes." He looked at her face. "Right - what was I thinking? I have nothing on you - absolutely nothing - I don't have a thing to tell Brenda!"

"You're a quick learner."

Patrick smiled as Robin led them through the door. He kept Rian close to him on his shoulder, enjoying the feeling of his tiny, warm body against his. He took a deep breath as they crossed the lobby and headed outside to the patio bar. He saw them all - his father, Robin's parents, their friends - all gathered together drinking and laughing. It was the most welcoming sight he had seen in a long time.

Sensing Patrick, Noah turned around and smiled when he saw them walking in, hands entwined, with Rian nestled over Patrick's heart. His son had created a family and it moved him to tears. He stood up and walked over to him. "Patrick" he said, his voice hoarse.

"Hi Dad." He shifted his weight to the other foot. Robin squeezed his hand.

"Nice beard" he remarked.

"You think so?"

"Not really" he grinned. "Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

He looked at Robin and looked back at his father. "I am now."

"Good" he nodded.

"Hey P" Nathalie called over to him. "We saved you guys some seats"

He smiled appreciatively at his friend. She had supported him through all of it, reminding him he wasn't alone. Her friendship had become so very important to him. As he made his way to the seats, Anna stood in front of him. "Uh, hi Anna" he said sheepishly.

"You have something that I want" she said.

"A pound of flesh?" he offered.

"Funny boy - no - you have my grandson - hand him over. He needs cuddle time with his gran."

"God mom, did you just call yourself a gran?"

"She's a hot granny" Robert offered.

"Oh lord" Robin sighed, sinking into her chair.

Having given Rian to Anna, Patrick sat between Robin and Nathalie. Leaning over he kissed Nathalie on the cheek. "Thanks" he said quietly.

She scrunched up her face. "For what?"

"For always being who I need you to be whether I know it or not."

She smiled. "I love you Patrick."

"Me too" he smiled.

The waiter approached to take their drink orders. Robin ordered a glass of red wine and Patrick ordered orange juice. "Juice?" Robin asked.

He leaned in and whispered to her, his breath tickling her skin. "I want to make sure I remember every moment of our make up sex"

"Make up sex?" she smiled.

"Lots and lots of make up sex."

"So what you're saying is that you want to make our big announcement and get the heck out of here?"

He pressed his lips against the sensitive skin between her ear and her jaw. "I like the way you think Scorpio."

"What are you two whispering about?" Brenda asked from the other side of the table.

"Probably planning make up sex" Lulu deadpanned. Everyone turned to look at her while Robin blushed furiously. "Like I'm the only who was thinking that."

"Well actually" Robin began.

"We do have some news" Patrick continued. They looked at each other and he took her hand, holding up her ring. "We're getting married. Here. In two days." The table fell eerily quiet for a moment. Patrick turned to Robin. "I did say it out loud, didn't I?"

She giggled. "You did."

Brenda let out an ear piercing squeal and Anna stood up and ran over to both of them with Rian in her arms. She kissed Patrick and then hugged her daughter. "I am some happy for both of you!" She swallowed back a sob. "My baby girl is getting married."

Nathalie reached over and squeezed his arm. "I'm so proud of you" she said.

He smiled back at her, patting her hand. Getting up, he walked over to Noah. "Did you ever think you'd see the day?" he asked, sitting on the arm of Anna's empty chair.

Noah swallowed hard. "I had hoped" he said quietly. "I just wanted you to find someone that you could build a life with."

"I did" he said proudly.

Noah looked over at Robin. "You certainly did - in spades, son, in spades." He wiped at his eyes. "Your mom would be so proud of you." Standing up, Noah hugged him and kissed his cheek. "I love you Patrick."

His heart so full, Patrick found it difficult to speak. "Love you too Dad." It was a moment that had been a decade in the making. "How would feel about being my best man?"

His father was speechless for a moment. "It would...it would be my honour."

Patrick smiled at his dad. He was startled as he felt a firm hand come down on his shoulder. "I guess this makes you my son-in-law" Robert drawled.

He turned to face him. "Uh, yes?" he said hopefully. "I mean provided you don't have any objections sir."

"Little late in the game for that, wouldn't you say? I mean you even got her pregnant."

"Uh, if I remember correctly, you and Mac already threatened to kill me over that one."

Robert pulled at his chin. "So we did." He smiled at Patrick's half-terrified expression. "Listen Patrick, my daughter has made some questionable choices in her life but you certainly aren't one of them. I know you'll take good care of her."

"I love her" he said simply.

"That's all I ask."

Nik walked over and offered his hand. "Congratulations Patrick"

"Thanks Nik"

Noah looked at the group of women gathered around Robin and looked back at Nikolas. "Come to seek refuge?"

He nodded. "There was some kind of talk about doves and dresses. I thought my ears might bleed" he smiled.

"You're safe here" Patrick teased.

Breaking free from the women, Robin headed towards Patrick. She smiled as her father stepped forward and took her in his arms. "My little love" he said. "All grown up and getting married."

"I am." Pulling back from the hug, she held him by the hands. "Daddy, will you give me away?"

Robert was silent for a moment as he wiped at the tears that had suddenly formed in his eyes. "Of course - of course I will. I love you darling."

"I love you too Daddy."

"Can the prospective father-in-law get a little love too?" Robin threw her arms around Noah. "Thank you for loving my son" he said quietly. Robin kissed his cheek.

Letting go of Noah, Robin reached for Patrick's hand. "So, uh, here's the thing" she started.

"Yeah?" he said.

"The girls are planning the wedding and my mom has offered to keep Rian for the night."

"Yeah?" he smirked

"So, um..." He didn't need another invitation. "Patrick!" she squealed as he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder.

"Sorry guys but Lulu was right - it's make up sex time" he said "We'll see you tomorrow!" Robin giggled as she waved goodbye to everyone on the way out of the bar. He stopped in the lobby, oblivious to the stares and smiles of passers-by.

"Why have we stopped?" Robin asked.

"My hotel or yours?"

"Mine's closer"

"Done" he said, sprinting for the elevator.

xxxxxx

Patrick finally set Robin down once inside the room. He let out a low whistle. "Nice suite" he said.

She ran her hands under his t-shirt. "Nice chest"

He removed her hands and laughed at her pouting. "Where's the romance? The foreplay? You're just going to maul me?"

She sighed exaggeratedly. "Do you have any idea how long it's been since we've had sex?"

"Two weeks?" he offered.

"That's right - two very long weeks - I want you and I want you now." She closed her hands around the back of his neck and pulled him towards her for a kiss. The kiss was wet and obscene, her tongue plunging in and out of his mouth.

Patrick moaned into her mouth, his hands resting on her waist. Finally pulling away from the kiss, he rested his forehead against hers. "I've missed you" he said quietly. Scooping her up, he carried her to the bed and laid her gently on it. He pulled off his t-shirt and laid down beside her. Nuzzling her neck, he began to nip at her skin, working his tongue over her ear. Her breathing started to shorten immediately. She moved to roll on to her side but he pushed her back. "I want this to be about you."

"I can't touch you?"

"Not yet" he said huskily. "I want to love you and watch you come apart." Robin felt the heat rush to her centre. Patrick noticed the movement of her hips and smiled. He continued to assault her neck while working his hands up her smooth legs. As he traced his fingers over her knees, he gently pushed her thighs apart and put his palm flat against her apex. She heard him gasp as he felt her wetness. "God. I love how wet you are." Robin spread her legs further giving him greater access. He kissed his way down her body, over her dress until he reached her hips. Pushing it over her hips, he nestled his face against her damp panties. He licked at her, dragging his tongue along the edge of the lace. Robin jerked under his touch. Cupping her mound, he kissed through the underwear, circling his tongue around her clit. He could feel himself harden, his erection desperate to escape its confines.

"Ahhh. Patrick" Robin gasped as she felt the blood rush between her legs. He continued to tease her with his tongue, tracing her outline as her head began to thrash from one side to the other. He smiled against her sex as he felt her twitch and tighten. "I can't come yet, I'm not ready" she panted.

"Yes you can" he said. "We have all night and I plan on making you come hard and often." Pushing her panties to the side, he teasingly ran his finger along the outside of her folds before slowly inching it inside her. Robin's walls constrict around it. He pumped her at an agonizing rate while he continued to nibble on her clit. Robin's hips arched up, feeling like her body was on fire. Slipping a second finger inside, he thrust his hand against her. Robin continued to fuck his hand, her body becoming slick with sweat. Lifting his head he watched as she slipped her hands inside the halter top of her dress and began to massage her own breasts, tugging on her nipples. Her eyes were clenched shut and her mouth opened as she continued to pant. Using his thumb, he increased the friction on her clit while pumping harder with her hand. He could tell Robin was trying to delay her orgasm. "Just give in baby, come apart for me" Robin fought to hold on but screamed his name as he slipped a third finger inside her and took her clit between his lips and sucked on it.

"Fuck Patrick" she screamed as her body trembled and twitched, her hips pushing hard against his hand. He continued his ministrations until her body went limp. Pulling his hand out, he kissed his way back to her mouth. Lying beside her, he slowly licked his fingers. "Oh Jesus" Robin exclaimed watching him, feeling the heat pool again. Finally regaining her breath, she propped herself up on one elbow. "We haven't done clothes on sex in a while"

He grinned. "I couldn't wait any longer to pleasure you" he said. "But I vote for clothes off sex next."

"Good plan" she said getting off the bed. Her shaky legs reminding her of his ability to render her liquid.

"Where are you going?" he asked, his hand resting over his hard-on.

She smiled as she walked to the cd player. Rifling through the cds, she popped one in and turned around. "Lower the lights" she ordered.

"You're bossy" he said excitedly.

"Lower the lights" she repeated. Reaching over to the bedside light switch, Patrick did as he was told. The opening strains of Wicked Game floated through the air and Robin began to sway her hips in time to the music. Reaching behind her, she undid the ties holding her dress up. It fell away revealing her pert breasts, the nipples still hardened from her earlier attention. Patrick licked his lips, unable to take his eyes from her. Turning around, Robin continued to move lithely to music, slowly pulling her dress further down her body. His throbbing arousal begged for attention and he began to stroke himself through his pants, aware of how dangerously close to coming he was. Robin turned back to face him as she readied to drop the dress to the floor. She stopped as she saw Patrick's eyes, hot with desire and his hand moving over his pants. "Show me" she ordered.

He looked at her in surprise. He undid his button fly jeans and pushed them over his hips, his erection springing forth. He wrapped his fist around and began to move up and down his length. Robin let out a small moan. "Your dress" he said throatily. Moving her hips in a figure eight pattern, Robin hooked her fingers around it and her undewear and slid them down her body. Stepping out of her clothes, she stood before him, completely naked. She watched him continue to harden, his sensitive head gleaming with wetness. She crawled to him on the bed and rubbed her breasts against him as she claimed his lips. The kiss was obscene, their tongues tangling with each other and plunging into each other's mouth. She ground her hips against him and smiled as he hissed in response.

"Not...going to last...much longer" he panted. Straddling his hips with her back to him, Robin closed her hands over his and lowering herself, kissed his rigid cock. "I want to be inside you" he said as she moved her hands with his.

"There will be time for that later" she teased. "I plan on making you come hard and often"

"Fuck me" he groaned. Letting go of his arousal, he palmed her breasts and kissed the back of her neck as she continued to mover her hips against his in tight circles. Tugging on her aching nipples, he licked her shoulder. She threw her head back. He could feel her wetness against his skin. "Harder Robin" he begged. Closing both hands around him, she squeezed him and picked up the pace. Letting one hand slide past his member, she held him in her hand, gently squeezing and massaging him.

"Oh.my.god" he could barely get the words out. His body was on fire from her touching. Feeling how close he was to climaxing, Robin pumped him harder as he sat up, leaning against her. "I'm...I...fuck Robin" he moaned as he came hard. He flopped back against the pillows, breathless. Having milked him, Robin leaned back against him and snuggled as he closed his arms around her.

His breathing returning to normal, he covered her shoulder and neck in soft, tender kisses. "Do you...do you think the sex will change when we get married?" he asked.

Reaching behind her, Robin stroked his face. "Yes - it will be even better."


	157. Chapter 157

Chapter 157

Chapter 157

"Are you nervous?"

Patrick looked at his father. "You know, that's the third time you've asked me that – should I be nervous? Is there some part of the ceremony that's a surprise?"

Noah smiled shaking his head. "Not at all – it's just some times people are nervous before their wedding."

"Were you?"

"Not in the least. Marrying your mother was one of the few things in my life that I was absolutely sure about."

Patrick rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt. "That's how I feel about Robin. I'm not nervous because this is the most right thing I've ever done." He looked in the mirror and fussed with his shirt. The only real decision he and Robin had made about the wedding was that everyone would wear white and there would be no suits. It was to be a relaxed and casual day on the beach. "Should I tuck my shirt in?"

"You look fine just as you are" his father said kindly.

"Your shirt is tucked in" Patrick pointed out.

"Yeah but I'm old, I'm supposed to look stuffy."

Patrick smiled. "Dad" he started but found the words stuck in his throat. Swallowing thickly, he tried again. "It means so much to me that you're here. But not only that, the way you took care of Robin….and of me – I can't thank you enough"

Noah walked towards his son. "Patrick, when you love someone that's what you do – you take care of them. I love Robin very much, I love what she has brought to your life and by extension what she has brought to mine. You have an amazing woman there. But in case there's any question, she is also getting an amazing man. You have been a brilliant doctor for a long time now, your talents were obvious from the beginning but seeing you become the man your mother and I hoped you would, that has been the greatest thing."

Patrick pulled his father into a hug. "I love you Dad." He marveled to himself at how it got easier to say those words every time. There had been a time when he couldn't think of them, let alone say them out loud but now, they rolled off his tongue.

Their embrace was cut short by a knock at the door. Opening it, Patrick smiled as he saw Nathalie before him in a strapless white dress that went to her knees. She grinned. "Best person number 2 reporting for duty."

He kissed her on the cheek and then pulled her into the room. "You look great" he said. Everything about her demeanor told him that she was happy and it meant so much to him.

"You look pretty handsome yourself." She patted his arm. Walking to Noah, she gave him a hug. "Hey there Best Person number 1"

"Hi Nathalie" he said softly. "Patrick's right – you're beautiful. I wonder if it has anything to do with you being in love?"

Her cheeks flushed crimson. "This is Patrick's day so we don't need to talk about my love life."

"But you admit that you have one!" Patrick teased.

She rolled her eyes. "Yes smartass, I have one."

"Should I threaten to rough him up if he treats you badly – you know be the overbearing protective big brother?" he offered.

"I can help" Noah said.

She shook her head. "You two need help – serious help with lots of medication."

"I'm happy for you Nat" Patrick said quietly.

"And I'm happy for you" she replied. "I have something for you"

"We said no gifts" Patrick protested.

Reaching into her purse, she pulled out a small square packet wrapped in tissue paper with a tiny bow. "I'm a rule breaker – get over it" she said as she handed it to him.

Patrick sat on the bed and carefully removed the paper. He gasped when he saw what it was. "Is that…."

Sitting beside him, Nathalie nodded. "It's the four leaf clover you gave Drew on his wedding day. He had it laminated and carried it in his wallet everywhere he went. He always used to tell me that he was going to give it back to you on your wedding day, so here it is."

Patrick was silent for a moment, too overcome to speak. "Thank you" he whispered. "It's the best gift ever."

xxxxxx

Anna zipped up Robin's dress. "You are absolutely beautiful" she whispered.

"Stunning" Brenda concurred.

"Gorgeous" Lulu added.

Robin grinned. "You guys sure are good for the ego." She moved effortlessly in her silk gown. It was a bias sheath with a deep v-neck. The top was made of gathered netting, setting off Robin's golden skin. She stepped into her white stiletto sandals.

"Hair up or down?" Brenda asked.

"Down" Robin smiled. "Patrick's not a big fan of my hair up."

In a display of sisterhood, the women fussed over her, helping her with her make up and her hair. Robin let herself be carried away by the love from her friends and her mother. Stepping in front of the mirror, Robin let out a small gasp. "I look…."  
"Happy" Anna said.

"In love" Lulu offered.

"Exactly like yourself" Brenda said, hugging her friend. "I am so happy for you." Brenda wiped at the tears that had begun the form.

Robin squeezed her back. "There are no tears here Bren – this is day of joy and celebration. I love you so much – you have been such a good friend to me"

"I've only given back what you gave to me" The two women held on a little longer before finally letting go.

Anna took her daughter's hand. "Your father and I have something for you."

"Mom – we said no gifts."

"Well that's not entirely fair is it?" she smiled. "You and Patrick give us a gift every day by being who you are and loving all of us – we want to give you something back. We have both missed so much of your life but marvel at the woman you have become. You are wise and kind, you are compassionate and giving, you are grace defined and everyday we are proud to say that you love, you are our daughter."

Robin's mouth fell open slightly. "Oh mom" she said hoarsely. Throwing her arms around her mother, she held her tightly. "I love you Mom." Anna kissed her daughter's cheek before passing her a long, slim velvet box.

Taking it from her, Robin found her hands trembled slightly as she pried the box open. Nestled against the velvet was a gold chain with a ruby pendant in the same shape as her ring. "It's beautiful" she said, fingering it wondrously.

"May I put it on you?" Anna asked, trying to keep her own tears at bay.

"Please" Robin said, passing the box back to her mother. Removing the necklace, Anna placed it around Robin's neck. It was the perfect compliment to her dress.

Lulu looked at her watch. "I think it's almost time" she said. "I'll go and see if the groom is ready."

She headed for the door but Robin called her back. Throwing her arms around the teenager, she hugged her. "I love you too Lulu – you are as much a part of this nutty family as anyone."

Lulu gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks Robin." She headed out the door.

Robin looked around the room. "I guess now all I need is Dad to give me away." She had just finished speaking when there was a knock at the door. Gliding across the room, Robin beamed as she saw her father. "Hi Daddy. Ready to get this show on the road?"

Robert was momentarily breathless as he took in his daughter. She was a woman in love and it radiated from her. All the sacrifice and lies had been worth it to have this moment with her. Leaning in, he kissed her on the cheek. "Almost ready sweetheart – there's just one other thing."

"What?" Robert stepped out the way to reveal a grinning Mac. Robin squealed and jumped into his arms. "Uncle Mac!! When did you get here?"

He held his niece tightly to him. "A few hours ago. Your father thought he might need some help giving you away – if that's all right?"

"If that's all right?? My day is now complete and perfect."

"Then let's not keep the groom waiting."

xxxxxxx

Lulu stood outside Patrick's door and smiled as she heard the laughter coming from inside. Raising her hand, she knocked on the door.

Nathalie opened it and smiled at her. "You look just beautiful Lu"

Lulu ran her hand along the back of her neck. Never really a dress wearer, she felt slightly awkward in her white silk georgette dress. The bodice hugged her curves before giving way to a full skirt that stopped just below her knees. Brenda had done her hair in loose ringlets curls and applied the lightest of makeup. "You think?"

"I do. Come here" she pulled her into the room. "You may just outshine the bride" she whispered.

Lulu blushed furiously. "I just saw the bride so there's no chance of that."

Patrick looked up from his conversation with his father. "Hey Lu – is it time?"

"It is."

Patrick winked at his father. "Nathalie, why don't you and I head down and get into position and Patrick will follow." He gave Patrick's arm a squeeze as he passed him and smiled kindly at Lulu.

Once the door was closed Patrick grinned. "So?" he held his arms out "Do I look cool enough?"

She gave him a wry smile. "Well you do get bonus points for resisting the urge to put a sweatervest on top of that but honestly Patrick, I think the cool gene may have skipped a generation."

"Skipped a generation? What do you mean?"

"Well your dad is all kinds of cool – he looks like a rock star and Rian is definitely the coolest baby - after Spencer. You – not so much."

"You understand that this is my wedding day and you're supposed to be nice to me?" he grinned.

"You expected me to start now?" she teased.

"Good point." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a small velvet bag. "I have something for you."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "For me? You're not supposed to get me a gift."  
"I wanted to" he said pressing the bag into her hand.

"Why?"

He sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled her down beside him. "Despite how mean you are to me on a regular basis" he grinned. "You've become a really important part of our family. There isn't a day that goes by where I look at Rian or Robin that I'm not reminded of your courage and your sacrifice Lu and both Robin and I want you to know how much we love you."

Lulu's eyes filled with tears. In the course of several months, she had gone from feeling unloved and alone to surrounded by joy. She pulled back the strings on the bag and shook it out into her hand. She gasped as she saw a gleaming silver ring in her palm. "Patrick…"

"It's a claddagh ring – it's an Irish wedding ring."

She held it up examining it. "It's beautiful."

"The hands are for friendship, the heart is for love and the crown is for loyalty. Robin and I kind of thought it represented what you mean to us and how we feel about you."

Lulu slipped it on her finger and pulled Patrick into a tight hug. "Thank you" she whispered.

"What do you say – ready to watch me get married?"

She smiled. "Let's go loser.

xxxxx

Nearly sunset, Patrick stood at the end of the white carpet with his father and Nathalie beside him. Nikolas and Anna, holding Rian, stood to the side. Nikolas had made most of the arrangements as the girls gave him to-do list after to-do list. He had arranged for the Justice of the Peace and for the cellist and violin player who were filling the beach with the strains of Pachelbel's Canon in D Major.

Patrick smiled as first Lulu and then Brenda walked down the aisle and stood opposite him. He winked at them both and they smiled in return. Despite himself, he gasped when he saw Robin. She was more beautiful that he had imagined possible and he felt his heart leap to his throat. He grinned when he saw that both Mac and Robert were walking down the aisle. He knew that it completed the circle for her. Her bouquet of red gerber daisies were the perfect contrast with her white silk gown. Arriving at the end of the aisle, she kissed both Mac and Robert before talking hold of Patrick's outstretched hand. Unable to resist, he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. "You are so beautiful" he whispered.  
The Justice of the Peace cleared his throat. "Jumping ahead are we?" he teased.  
Patrick beamed. "Have you seen her? How could I resist?"

Robin giggled. "Stop being a troublemaker" she said squeezing his hand.

The Justice welcomed everyone to the ceremony and after saying some words about the importance of marriage, he invited Patrick to say his vows.

Patrick licked his lips. It was the one moment of nervousness he had felt during the whole event. He knew he loved her and had told her in a number of ways but to say it out loud in front of everyone who mattered to him was overwhelming. Clearing his throat, he looked into Robin's eyes.

"Robin, I never knew what love was until I met you. I was afraid to let anyone get too close because I didn't want to be hurt but along came you. You are tenacious and persuasive and wouldn't take no for an answer. You captured my heart long before I knew it and you have taken such good care of it. I am stronger and braver than I ever was before – I am a better man for loving you. You have given me our son as a living testament to our love and while you say he looks like me, I hope he has your heart because it is truly one of the marvels of the universe. You are my partner, my friend and my lover and I promise I will spend the rest of my life ensuring you never want for anything including love. By agreeing to be my wife you have given me the greatest gift I could ever hope for."

Robin's eyes glistened as she listened to his words, her heart near bursting. The Justice then invited Robin to say her vows.

"I had accepted to live a very different life until I met you. I had experienced love and knew both the joy and the heartbreak of it. I truly didn't think I would ever find it again. I was closed off and dormant but you pulled me kicking and screaming back to life. Patrick, you have such love inside you and you have fundamentally changed my life by sharing it with me. You are kind and good and exactly the type of man our son should aspire to be. You make me believe that anything is possible and that there is no fear in reaching for the moon because even if I fail, I still land among the stars. I promise to protect your beautiful heart with everything I have. I promise to love you forever and for always and I promise to give you the very best of me for the rest of our lives."

There was suddenly small rustling noises as everyone dabbed at the tears that had appeared. Asking for the rings, the Justice had Robin and Patrick promise to love, honour and respect each other for the rest of days.

"Now" he said smiling "You may kiss the bride"

Unable to contain himself, Patrick cupped her face and tenderly pulled her lips into his. "I love you" he whispered as he nipped at her lips.

"I love you too Patrick" she smiled against his mouth.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcoming Robin Scorpio-Drake and Patrick Drake"


	158. Chapter 158

Final Chapter

Final Chapter

The room was much smaller than he was used to but there was so much anonymity available in a large family style hotel. The room offered a partially obstructed view of the city but he wasn't interested in the view. Everything he wanted lay in front of him - medical journals, newspapers, social announcements, articles printed from the internet. Having spent the better part of a week cutting things out and organizing them in chronological order, his book was almost completely assembled. He leaned back in his chair with a smile of satisfaction. It had taken more than a month of research, calling in favours and travel to France but he had done it. He had managed to produce a near complete history of Robin Scorpio and Patrick Drake.

Getting up from his chair, he walked to the mini-bar and pulled out a Heineken. Twisting off the cap, he guzzled nearly half the bottle at once. This task completed, Bruce was now ready to move on to phase 2.

xxxxxx

At the far end of the beach, Nik, Brenda and Nathalie had arranged for the reception to be set up. There was a large table set a u-shape and the area was bordered by large topiary trees adorned with white lights. As the sun went down and the guests tucked into their barbecued dinner, the lights shone softly on them all. There was even a dance floor set up with a d.j. opposite from the table. Calling in a favour, Brenda had asked a chef-friend from Sydney to fly up and cook the dinner. The wine and champagne flowed freely in celebration.

Robin and Patrick sat at the top of table, visible to everyone. They had spent more time holding hands, kissing, nibbling and smiling than they had eating. The conversations were loud and laughter could be heard by everyone on the beach. Holding Rian, Lulu got up and walked over to the newlyweds. "I,uh, I had some time to kill in town the other day and so I bought Rian a wedding gift too" she smiled, handing Robin her son.

Looking at Rian's new t-shirt, Robin screamed with laughter.

My parents just got married!

Patrick chuckled. "You're a wicked girl, Lesly Lu" Patrick teased.

"I come by that honestly enough" she smiled heading back to her seat.

Patrick clinked his fork against his champagne flute bringing the conversation to a halt. Standing up, he picked up his champagne glass, Robin stood beside him. "Though I don't actually know that much about wedding protocol, I do know there's supposed to be toasts to the bride and speeches but since Robin and I have decided to forgo tradition in most senses, why start now? That being said, this amazing day wouldn't be complete without one toast and that is to all of you. Whether family by blood or family by choice, Robin and I feel incredibly blessed to have you all in our lives and we would like to thank you for celebrating this day with us and for supporting us in the many, many ways you have had. To family."

"To family" everyone toasted back in unison.

Taking a long drink of his champagne, Patrick put his glass down on the table. "And we would like to invite you all to join us on the dance floor for our first dance." Taking Robin by the hand, he escorted her to the floor. Nikolas and Nathalie followed, Noah asked Brenda, Anna, holding Rian asked Mac and Robert invited Lulu to dance. The opening strains of Etta James' At Last carried out the water and everyone held each other closely, enveloped in love.

Patrick stroked Robin's face with his fingers. "Have I mentioned how beautiful you are?"

Robin beamed. "Only about a million times, but feel free to say it again."

"You're beautiful and you're my wife - it's possible I'm the luckiest man alive." Robin captured his lips in the most tender of kisses.

"We're both lucky" she said.

As the d.j. put on the next song, Lulu, Robert, Brenda and Noah headed back to the table. Brenda positioned her chair closer to Noah's and leaned into him slightly. Unconsciously, he draped his arm over the back of his chair. Lulu was watching her brother and Nathalie dance. "They're a gorgeous couple, your brother and Nat" Brenda said.

Lulu smiled and nodded without taking her eyes from them. "He's changed so much since they've been together."

"Really?" Brenda asked.

Lulu turned to face her. "He has. He's looser, he laughs more easily and more often, he smiles more - everything about him is lighter and considering how dark Nik can be, that's no small achievement."

"Nathalie's pretty special" Noah said quietly. "Patrick worshipped her from the moment he met her. In the rare moments that we would talk over the course of the last 10 years, he would tell me that if he were ever going to marry it would be someone like Nathalie."

"In what sense?" Brenda asked, her curiosity peaked.

Noah inhaled. "Andrew was a much bigger playboy than Patrick was and yet when he met Nathalie he changed, not because she asked him to but because he realized she was worth it."

Brenda grinned. "Sounds a lot like Robin"

"Exactly. He marveled at her ability to call Andrew on his stuff and to not back down - Robin does the same thing for Patrick and the love of those women made those men better."

"Nikolas is lucky" Lulu said, still watching them. She never realized how unhappy her brother was until she saw how happy he was now.

Nathalie rested her head on his shoulder as they swayed to the music. "Having a good time?" he asked. She nodded. "You're awfully quiet" he remarked.

Smiling, she lifted her head from his shoulder and taking his hand, put it over her heart. "Do you feel that?" she said quietly. "It's hard to speak when it feels like my heart is going to leap from my chest."

"Because of me?" he asked, nipping at her earlobe.

"Always." Straightening up, she cupped his face as his arms went around her waist. "You know, I came back to Port Charles because Brenda phoned and told me Patrick was in trouble. I had been so vile to him the last time I saw him that I needed to come and be the friend he needed. I had planned on staying a few weeks."

"What happened?" he asked, smiling.

"You happened. Your patience and your goodness. I came for Patrick and I got this amazing gift of you in the process. I know I haven't really said it but I am in love with you."

Nikolas pressed his lips against hers. "Say it again" he whispered.

"I am madly, deeply in love with you Nikolas Cassadine."

He pulled her closer to him, placing her hand over his heart. "I guess we have a few things in common" he grinned.

xxxxx

Nikolas and Patrick left the dance floor as a new song filled the dance floor. All the women took to the dance floor, shimmying and shaking around. Their laughter carried over the music and the men smiled as they watched. Mac bounced Rian on his knee.

"You know" Robert started, watching his ex-wife swing his daughter around. "It's not easy to love a strong woman"

"Nope" Noah shook his head.

"They're difficult" Mac added.

"And stubborn" said Patrick

"And fiercely independent" Nikolas said.

"They're pushy" Mac added thoughtfully.

"And can be so demanding when they want their way" Robert said knowingly.

"They always think they're right" Nikolas smiled.

"And the lectures" Patrick sighed.

"I know about lectures" Noah said. "Your mother had a PHD in lecturing me"

"But you know..." Mac started.

"You wouldn't have it any other way?" Robert asked.

"Nope - you?"

"Can't get enough of them" he replied.

"Me either" Noah said knowingly.

"I always want more" Nikolas said.

"A lifetime won't be enough" Patrick said standing up. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go dance with my wife." He squeezed his father's shoulder as he walked past and Noah felt a fullness in his heart as he watched his son wrap his arms around his wife's waist and swing her around. Robin squealed in delight.

Draining his gingerale, Noah got up and walked to the beach. Finding a quiet spot, he sat down and listened as the ocean waves crashed against the sand.

"Is this a private party?"

"Brenda" he smiled. "Pull up a piece of beach."

Brenda sank in to the sand beside him. "So what's a hot man like you doing sitting by yourself."

Noah laughed lightly. "If I didn't know better Brenda, I would say you were flirting with me."

Moving closer to him, she titled her head and looked at him. "And what if I am?"

He grinned and shook his head. "I'm flattered."

"Are you not attracted to me?" she asked.

Turning his body to face her, he looked at her intently. "Brenda you are a beautiful and attractive woman. Any man would be attracted to you."

"I'm not interested in any man, I asking about you." She pushed her bangs from her face.

"I'm too old" he protested.

"No you're not and you're incredibly sexy"

Noah was grateful for the cover of night so she couldn't see him blush. He had been a confident man but that was a lifetime ago. "Fine, I'm too damaged."

"I'll see your damage and show you dating a mobster."

He laughed. "You're pretty forward, aren't you?"

"You have no idea."

"Oh?" he arched his eyebrow.

Taking him completely by surprise, Brenda kneeled up and placing her hands on his shoulders, pulled his lips with hers. Noah stiffened at first, but her lips were insistent, coaxing his mouth open. Her tongue plunged in and Noah let out a low moan as if waking from a long nap. Running his hands along her sides, he pulled her closer to him and returned her kiss with alacrity. Breaking apart, breathless, Noah ran his thumb along her jaw line. "You're full of surprises."

"I have a few more up my sleeve, if you're interested" she said seductively.

"Brenda" he said hoarsely. "I haven't been with a woman in a very long time."

"You have to start sometime."

"Brenda" he said, unsure.

Standing up, she brushed the sand from her dress and held out her hand. Looking at her, he turned to look back at the ocean. He knew this was crossroads and while his instinct was to clam up, he felt like taking a page from his son's book and seizing the moment. Inhaling deeply, he looked into her deep brown eyes and held his hand up, letting her pull him from the sand. Entwining his fingers with hers, they walked along the water line to the hotel.

xxxxx

"You know, you don't really have to carry me over the threshold" Robin protested as he carried her into the honeymoon suite.

He silenced her with a kiss. "I like carrying you" he said. Setting her down on the ground, he brought his mouth down on hers, sweeping his tongue inside and letting out a small guttural moan as she pressed her body into his.

Finally pulling away, she hitched her hands on his waist. "So, our first night together as husband and wife"

He fingered her lips. "We should probably do something special."

Letting her hands roam downwards, she lightly touched his erection which was slowly making itself known. "We will"

"Oh?" he said in surprise.

She gave him a feline smile. "Why don't you make yourself comfortable on the bed and I'll come join you in a minute."

"But not longer than a minute, right?" he asked.

She ran her hand over his chest. "Maybe two but I promise it will be worth it." Sauntering off to the bathroom, she gave an extra swing of her hips knowing that it would drive Patrick mad. She lowered the lights as she walked. Not wanting to waste anytime, Patrick poured two glasses of champagne and stripped off his clothes, stretching out on the bed. Nearly dropping his glass as she reappeared, he stared at her wordlessly for several minutes.

"Do you like?" she asked turning around. She was dressed in a deep burgundy corest that laced up the front with matching silk underwear. She smiled as she saw his member throb and pulse.  
Patrick swallowed several times trying to find his voice. "Oh my" he said hoarsely. "That's impressive"

"So is that" she said, nodding to his hard-on.

"Wanna play?" he asked.

"You have no idea how much" she purred crawling on teh bed towards him. Straddling him, she groaned at the first contact with his skin. Running her tongue along his lips, she teased him before claiming his mouth for her own. Holding her by the hips, he pulled her down further on to him as he deepened their kiss. It was urgent and hungry as if they hadn't been together for the last three days. He tugged on her underwear but she pushed his hands away. "We're going to play my way" she said, tweaking his nipples.

"What does that mean?" he asked curiously.

Robin smiled and reaching over to the bedside table pulled out a box of condoms and the fur-lined handcuffs Brenda had given them at the baby shower. Patrick's eyes widened in surprise and he licked at his lips nervously. "Think you can handle it?" she asked. He nodded mutely. "Lie down" she commanded gently "and put your arms over your head."

Patrick felt himself harden as Robin leaned over him putting the first cuff around his wrist. Her breasts, popping loose from her corset hung tantalizingly over his mouth and lifting his head, he flicked her nipples with tongue, switching breasts every few seconds. Robin threaded the cuff through the headboard but stopped moving as he took her nipple in his mouth and began to suck on it. "Aahh" she sighed. "God" Moving to the other breast so it wouldn't be neglected, he sucked on the nubbin until it was rock hard. He could hear her breath shortening and felt her heat from between her legs. Regaining her focus, she attached the cuff around his other wrist. She sat back on his chest and smiled. "You're all mine now" she said proudly.

"Babe, take a look at the ring on my finger - I'm all yours no matter what"

"God your hot, husband" she said leaning forward and sucking the soft skin at the hollow of his neck. Leaving a trail of soft feathery kisses down his chest, she moved to his nipple, circling it with her tongue. Blowing gently on it, she watched in delight as it hardened. Patrick began to moan and move his hips in response to her touches. Every nerve ending already felt raw. Dragging her tongue across his chest, she lapped at his other nipple, flicking it with her tongue before closing her mouth around it and sucking on it. She smiled as his breath hitched. He lifted his arms several times, suddenly overcome by the desire to touch her and unable to do so.

Running her tongue down the centre of her body, she nipped at his hip bone and worked her way to the fleshy part of his inner thigh. His cock twitched from the proximity of her. Seeing it move, she leaned over and kissed its head, already glistening. He lifted his hips up, trying to push them into her but she ignored his request to touch his jutting erection and instead worked her mouth around it. "Jesus Robin" he exhaled. Every sensation seemed heightened. Never used to being passive, he was finding it difficult to stay still.

Straddling his legs, she kneeled up and looked at him. "What do you want me to do?" she asked innocently.

"Touch yourself" he said hoarsely. His wife was so beautiful and desirable that he didn't know how much more he could take.

Running her hands over her breasts through the material of her corset, she lightly pulled her nipples between her thumb and forefinger. "Like this?" she asked innocently.

He nodded. His stomach tightened as he watched her slip her hands inside her corset and continue to massage them. "Panties" he said, his breathing more rapid than before. "Take them off." Robin slid off of him and stood at the foot of the bed. He groaned at the sudden loss of her heat. Hooking her fingers in the sides, she pulled them slowly down her legs before stepping out of them. Patrick's throat constricted as he saw the light hit her damp curls. "You're so wet" Robin slid a hand over her torso and let it rest between her legs. She heard Patrick growl as he watched her slip a finger inside. His rigid dick hardened painfully. "Fuck Robin, take this off, I need to touch you"

"Not yet" she smiled.

Climbing back on the bed, she lay beside him and wrapped her fist around his arousal. Patrick closed his eyes to stop from coming on the spot. She kissed his torso while she pumped him slowly. Patrick's hips bucked and his body became to come off the bed. So great was his need to touch her, that he bent his legs up and tried to move his hips towards her. She traced circles with her tongue over his navel. She could feel her pussy twitching, begging for release, craving him deep inside her. Suddenly letting go, she reached for the box of condoms and sheathed him. Even the sensation of her rolling the condom over him nearly made him climax. Taking the key, she unlocked the cuffs and squealed as Patrick pounced on her, rolling her onto his back. Freeing her breasts from her corset, he set his mouth on them hungrily. Lifting her leg, he positioned himself at her entrance and teased her by inserting the tip and removing it. "Please Patrick" she whimpered.

"Please what?" he said, unsure how much more he could withstand.

"Take me" she begged.

Placing himself at her entrance, he plunged into her as he brought his mouth down on her, swallowing her cry. His thrusting was rapid and he was desperate for release. Robin raked her nails down his back, pulling him closer. She hooked her legs over his hips so that he could be even deeper inside her. He felt her walls tighten around him and it was all he needed as his climax tore through him. He cried out her name as she pushed her hips into his. Feeling him come, she trembled and twitched before her body was rocked with spasms. He collapsed on top of her, both completely breathless. He stayed inside her until he could regain his bearings. Robin ran her hands lightly down his back. Finally able to breathe, he rolled off of her and pulled her with him.

"You were right" he said quietly.

"About what?"

"Married sex is SO much better"

She giggled against his chest. "I love you Patrick Drake."

"And I love you Robin Scorpio Drake."

xxxxxx

a/n: thanks so much for reading!! I'm not done with these guys yet – I'll be posting the next installment in this series later this week.


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